NON-DUALITY PRESS

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Copyright © John Wheeler 2007, 2013

Copyright © Non-Duality Press 2007, 2013

Cover design: John Gustard

With thanks to Leslie Caren for editorial assistance and proofreading
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ISBN 10: 0-9553999-2-0

ISBN 13: 978-0-9553999-2-3
 Preface
The first time I laid eyes on John Wheeler, I don’t know what I was
expecting, exactly, but that wasn’t it. Perhaps from attending too
many California satsangs and reading too many books written by
spiritual celebrities, I was somehow expecting this guy to be just
another guru clone, wafting into the room on a sense of his own
specialness.
But I knew the moment I saw John that there was a clarity here I
had not encountered in my twenty-five years on the spiritual scene.
Here was a humble, working guy with no interest whatsoever in
having me or anyone else look up to him, be in awe of him, or
elevate him in any way. I saw a guy who knew his true nature,
without a doubt in the world about it. I saw a guy who felt lucky to
have ended his search a couple of years earlier by hearing what
‘Sailor’ Bob Adamson had to say, and now was moved, by love, to
help others end their search as well.
John cut right to the chase, telling the folks gathered there at his
book-signing at East West Bookstore in Mountain View, California,
about his own twenty-year search and how it ended. We were
riveted by him, by the candor with which he told his story. It struck
me as a little odd that he didn’t seem very interested in selling books.
He held up his latest offering and waved it around a little bit, but
mostly to illustrate to us that what we were looking for could not be
found in there. And he went on, patiently, gently, and methodically, to
tell us—show us—that what we had been looking for all these years
was already so simply what we are, and what we experience as
ourselves, right now. In that room, on that night, I finally understood.
I didn’t mean to imply that John’s books are unimportant—on the
contrary, his writings are among the most valuable and most
effective that exist on the subject of non-dualism. They are as
effective as they are in large part because there is no confusion in
John Wheeler. None. He got completely clear on this understanding
in 2003, during a visit to Bob Adamson in Melbourne, Australia, and
that was it.
No further doubts, no gray areas, no questions about the best and
clearest way to communicate this, no sense of importance as the
carrier of the message—none of these things has ever arisen for
John. He is clear as a bell on the essential liberating points, and he
doesn’t stray from them. I’ve even heard John referred to as
“relentless,” which in some cases could be considered disparaging,
but when it comes to the absolute—one without a second—a
relentless approach is well-advised. It works for John—people seem
to fall off the log quite often after meeting with him once or twice.
John has titled this, his fourth collection of dialogues and pointers,
“You Were Never Born” which speaks to the very first principle: the
fact that pure nothingness is all that exists, and that all of our
personal problems and suffering are imaginary. John says, “You
cannot speak of the birth of that which has no form or limits. We are
that, and that has never come into form. So we have never been
born.” This simple truth is the bedrock underlying all the slippery
layers of assumptions and projections that we try to heap on top of it.
There is only the one truth, only the one principle, only the one which
has no form or limits, and this is what you are. And that is the point
to which John returns over and over again in his dialogues and
pointers.
This is a great service, and rarer than we realize, because John
does not muck up the truth with a lot of tangential ideas and mental
diversions, as we find in so many other writings of this type. This
clarity—this purity of focus—is the hallmark of John’s teaching, and
what makes him unique in this field.
In this, his latest book, this clarity is present, as usual, but in
addition, there is a maturity that has been taking place in the means
of communication. So I would not hesitate to say that this is John’s
best book yet.
John has a special place in my heart because he pointed out to
me—and gave me the confidence to find for myself—that which I
had been hungering for all my adult life. Let John speak to your
heart, and you too may end your search now.
Annette Nibley
Mill Valley, California
October, 2006
 Table of Contents
Preface by Annette Nibley

The Basics
Review of the Basics
The Key Points
Questions for Self-Knowledge
Why Did Separation Ever Arise?
Memory
Ongoing Practice?
Take the Focus Off of the Mind

Dialogues with John

1. Who Is Aware of Thought?
2. There Is No One Apart from This
3. Follow the Insights Back to Your Real Nature
4. This Is Easy and Effortless
5. Do Whatever Comes Up Next
6. Keep Things Simple
7. Pain and Suffering
8. Why Something Rather Than Nothing?
9. Awareness Is Not Knowable by the Mind
10. There Is No Need to Improve the Recognition
11. Handling Doubts and Confusion
12. Life Finds Its Natural Expression
13. There Is No One
14. Past and Future Are Present Ideas
15. Investigating the Mind
16. It Is Done
17. Things Are Free to Flow
18. One Substance
19. Clarity Does Not Come and Go
20. The Answer Is Not in the Mind
21. Mental Activity Versus Self-Centered Thinking
22. Focusing on Thoughts
23. Presence-Awareness Needs No Help
24. Knowing That You Are Cannot Be Doubted
25. Communicating with Others
26. Awareness Is the Constant Background of Experiences
27. The Separate ‘ I’ Is the Root Concept
28. You Are Not an Appearance in the Mind
29. What Are We Looking For?
30. No ‘ Me’ Left at All
31. The Mind Creates All Doubts and Problems
32. The Obviousness of ‘ What Is’
33. Self-Centered Stories
34. Emptiness and Nothingness
35. What You Are and What You Are Not
36. Recognizing Things in Awareness
37. Flip-Flopping
38. Pause Thought and Simply Be
39. There Is No Realization
40. Love, Joy, Peace and Happiness
41. Your Awareness Is Not in a Book
42. Life Flows Effortlessly
43. The Game Is Up
44. The End of the Story
45. Awareness and Seeing
46. Without You, the Universe Is Not
47. Are You Free of the False Sense of Self?
48. All Words Are Pointers
49. Becoming More Present?
50. The Separate Self Is Removed from the Equation
51. The Separate ‘ I’ Is the Source of Suffering
52. Objects Appear, But You Exist
53. Ordinary, Present Awareness
54. You Are Awareness
55. Doer-ship Arises in the Question
56. Residual Doubts
57. I Am Already Here
58. There Is No Need to Fix Yourself
59. Do Not Turn This Into a Project
60. Awareness Is Always ‘ On’
61. The ‘ Me’ Is the First Illusion
62. Books Come and Go in Awareness
63. There Is No Expansion into Awareness
64. Start from the Position that You Are Already Free
65. Dealing with Practical Matters
66. Simply Being What You Are
67. No Awakening Is Needed
68. The Simplicity of Presence-Awareness
69. Doubts Are Thoughts in the Mind
70. What Good Does This Do Me?
71. Drop the Analysis of It
72. When the ‘ I’ Is Not, There Are No More Troubles
73. The Suffering of Others
74. Something Clicked
75. Materialism, a Faith-Based Religion
76. Presence-Awareness and Perceptions
77. You Are the Answer

Pointers

Addendum: An Interview with John Wheeler

Further Titles from Non-Duality Press
The Basics
 Review of the Basics
It all comes down to clarifying your identity. You are already present.
So there is no need to look for a future state, experience or
attainment. What you are seeking to know is not separate or distant,
since it is your own self. What you are must be always with you.
Anything which appears and disappears cannot, by definition, be
what you are. Thoughts, feelings, perceptions, experiences, objects
—these all come and go. None of them as such can be the essence
of what you are. So set those aside and continue to look into your
true nature. What is left to consider? Surprisingly little!
However, you are still present. You are still aware. Look at this
presence of awareness itself. Having discarded all else, this is the
only possible remainder and must be what you are. Your existence is
beyond any doubt, and what you are is brightly aware. You are that
knowing presence which is registering all thoughts, feelings and
experiences. Look directly into this. This is the heart of the matter.
Notice that thoughts arise and set, but this presence—your own
natural being—remains constant. There is no need to wait for the
future to see this, nor is there any need for a special practice,
technique or approach—simply because it is already present. You do
not need to make an effort to be present and aware. It is completely
natural and effortless. Look now and notice that what you are and
the sense of presence-awareness are not two different things. You
are that which is present and aware. Many words are used to point
to this essential nature: presence, awareness, consciousness, life,
spirit, emptiness, being, God, oneness and so on. These are all
simply pointers. And what they are pointing to is your true nature—
nothing more or less.
The body and mind may suffer experiences, yet awareness, your
natural being, remains unaffected and uncompromised, just like the
sun ever shining beyond the clouds and utterly untouched by them.
Your true nature has no suffering, doubts or problems at all. See all
this and you will find that your true nature is ever-present awareness,
changeless being and undisturbed freedom and peace itself. These
are additional pointers to the same wordless, immediate presence of
your true nature.
 You are not a limited, defective person, self or entity. This false
belief is at the root of all seeking, suffering, doubts and problems in
life. Those experiences are only creations of conceptual thought.
Those concepts hinge on the imagined person who is assumed to be
separate from oneness. So all thoughts of a suffering nature concern
the identity, attributes and condition of a person to whom they are
assumed to apply. Interest in the thoughts is sustained by the belief
that we are that limited person, or separate self. The person to whom
those thoughts and stories pertain is the central ‘I thought’, ego or
person that we have assumed to be present and real. This is the
‘lynch pin’ of the whole production. All the self-centered concepts,
beliefs and habits of mind are sustained by the belief in the presence
of this person. That is why a very effective approach is simply to
investigate the reality of this assumed person.
Where is the person? Is it real? Did you ever find it? For example,
in any given moment there may be a few thoughts, feelings or
sensations appearing. Do any of those constitute a person, a
separate self ? They are simply momentary objects appearing and
disappearing in present awareness. How could they be a substantial
self or independent person? If you set those aside and continue to
investigate, you will find that there is nothing else present at all to
investigate! All there is, is wide open, clear, obvious presence-
awareness itself. And that is not a limited person or entity. The
conclusion must be that the person that we have taken ourselves to
be is a complete myth because it is not findable in direct experience.
And if it does not exist now, then it never existed in the past, nor will
it ever exist in the future.
If the person is discovered as not real, not present, a mere
unexamined assumption, then the root of all self-centered,
conceptual thoughts, beliefs, habits, and attachments is severed.
With this recognition, the interest in the self-centered stories fades
naturally and effortlessly because there is no more belief in the
reality of the central concept, the person. The thoughts and beliefs
unwind and scatter like autumn leaves in the wind. There is no more
belief in the fixed reference point of a self or a central character. You
simply remain as the open sky of awareness in which all thoughts
arise and set—untouched, spacious, clear and always unmodified.
The tendency to fixate on or attach to thoughts dissipates. Seeing
this, you cannot believe in self-centered thoughts, even if you want
to, because the basic misconception has been undermined. You do
not seek water in a mirage once it is known to be a mirage.
What about the nature of the world, the universe that presents
itself to us? All that we can know is what appears to us in immediate
experience. And that which appears (whether it be a thought, feeling,
perception or any other experience) has no separate and
independent existence apart from the awareness which cognizes it.
Since awareness and objects always appear together, they must be
the same in essence. How many thoughts, feelings or perceptions
can you have outside of awareness? They are inseparable.
Everything that appears arises from, exists upon and returns into
awareness. Even time, space and seeming external objects are
present experiences contained in your knowing presence. There is
nothing separate and apart from this—ever. In fact, there is just this
—only this inescapable presence-awareness. You are that.
How do we live and function in the world? This is a false question
because, as we have already seen, there is no one present who can
live or function! At a practical level, all thoughts, feelings and actions
go on without any reference to an imagined self-center or person. ‘I’
am not thinking, feeling, sensing, experiencing or acting because
there is no ‘I’ present to do those things. Look at your thoughts right
now. Is there an ‘I’ creating them? Or are they simply arising
spontaneously? Surely the latter is the case. Do you have any idea
what the next thought will be? If not, how can you say you created it?
If you say you are choosing, creating or controlling your thoughts,
then why would you ever create an unhappy or troubling thought? So
you see that thoughts simply appear. There is no person or self
involved at all. The same goes for choices, decisions, feelings and
actions. It is all happening spontaneously. So the question ‘How will I
live my life?’ is unnecessary. There is no ‘you’ to do anything at all.
Things simply come up to be done. Life and its activities arise
spontaneously and effortlessly from moment to moment in response
to the demands of the situation and circumstances.
You can see all of these things directly. No special insight,
awakening or enlightenment is needed. What is being pointed to is
the natural condition of what is. We may have overlooked this, but it
is not difficult to see. How could it be, when it is shining here in plain
view? However, if necessary, you can review the basic points
covered above and confirm them for yourself. Then the simple truth
of your present natural state stands out very clearly right now. Before
the next thought or experience appears you are already that natural
and uncontrived presence-awareness itself.
 The Key Points
The purpose of non-dual spirituality is self-knowledge. When we look
to see what we are, we find that the only thing that can qualify as our
essential nature is the unchanging sense of our being, which is both
existent and aware. In looking at this sense of being-awareness, we
see that it is already here and easily recognized. Not only is it
present, but it remains present and undisturbed in the midst of all
thinking, feeling and experiencing. It is not something that comes to
us as a future experience. It is not something that we get from a
book or obtain as a result of practices, techniques or processes. Nor
is it something that comes to us from outside, from a teacher, a
divine being or any other source. We do not need an awakening or
enlightenment experience to know our true nature. It is effortlessly
present. In fact, there is nothing we can do to escape it. We have
seen that our true nature is nothing objective, yet it is clearly evident
beyond any doubt. We are not something apart from being-
awareness—we ARE being-awareness. Thus, there is no separation
between us and reality.
Finally, we have seen that this true nature, this essential
awareness, is utterly and completely free of suffering, doubt, fear,
worry and strife. Not only is it present and aware, but it is pure peace
and freedom itself. For this reason, self-knowledge is not a matter of
a deepening experience or of a stabilization in our true nature. That
would only be in reference to an imagined difference between what
we are and what we imagine we may become in the future. It also
assumes the reality of time, as well as a separate being that would
attain some special state of awakening or enlightenment. We have
seen that these notions are dualistic. Self-knowledge is nothing if it is
not a clear understanding of what already is. There is nothing
beyond self-knowledge because self-knowledge is non-duality. All
that appears is only an expression or appearance of the one,
undivided, ever-present being-awareness. There is nothing beyond
oneness. Nothing more is needed beyond self-knowledge because
our true nature is this unalterable being, awareness and freedom
that can never be contradicted under any circumstances.
 Questions for Self-Knowledge

The Aim of Non-Duality—Self-Knowledge

The central message of non-dual traditions comes down to the
following proposition. The discovery of what is real and the resolution
of suffering, seeking and doubt is obtained by a clear understanding
of one’s real nature. In short, the aim of spiritual endeavor is “self-
knowledge.”
By definition, whatever we are is already here. Therefore, the self
to be known by self-knowledge must be already present in our
immediate experience. Our being is not something distant or
separate from who we are. It is who we are. In self-knowledge, we
are not obtaining something new, but clarifying what is already
present though perhaps not clearly known or fully appreciated. We
are not waiting for a future experience in which we will obtain
something that we do not yet have. Nor are we waiting to achieve a
special state of “enlightenment,” “awakening” or anything else of the
sort. The point is simply to clarify one’s already-present nature.
What We Are Not—and What We Are
The first step is to get a basic sense of what our identity could be.
Whatever we are must be constantly with us. The qualities of our
essential nature must be invariably present in who we are. Things
which arise and pass away or undergo change cannot be essential
characteristics of ourselves. Given this premise, none of the
following can be the essence of what we are because they all appear
and disappear:

Thoughts
Feelings
Sensations
Perceptions
Experiences
States
Perceived objects
These are all appearances that come and go. None of them stays
constant in our direct experience. For this reason, they do not qualify
as “candidates” for our real nature. So we must set them aside as
not being the essence of what we are. What remains? Is there
anything else left? One might conclude that there is nothing else left
to consider. If this is true, our real nature must be non-existent. But
this conclusion is premature. There is still something more to
consider. First, there is a sense of being, the sense that “we are.” In
spite of the ever-changing flow of experiences, we also know that we
are present, that we exist. We know that we remain present in and
through the changing experiences. Otherwise, how could we know
the presence of changing experiences? Furthermore, this presence
is not void or inert. It is conscious, cognizant, aware. This sense of
being present and aware must be what we are because it is the only
possible remainder after all the other possibilities have been
exhausted.
This investigation provides the essential clue about what is to be
known in self-knowledge. It is our present true identity, the essential
characteristic of which is to be present and aware. We are and we
are aware. As will become clear in what follows, we are not dealing
with two different things here (that is, presence and awareness).
Instead we are acknowledging one principle that can be viewed in
different ways or pointed to with different labels, all of which refer to
the same basic essence.
To clarify terms, when referring to the sense of being present, the
following terms are used interchangeably: “presence,” “being,”
“existence” or “the sense that you are.” When referring to the
awareness aspect of our nature, the following terms are used:
“awareness,” “consciousness,” “cognizance” or “knowing,” among
others. In addition, because we are dealing with a single principle or
phenomenon (our true nature), hyphenated terms are sometimes
used, such as “presence-awareness,” “being-awareness,” “being-
consciousness,” “aware-presence” and so on. In all cases, the
pointers refer to the same principle, your essential true nature.
So our true nature is that principle within us that is present and
aware. Once we have this insight, we are in a position to have a
good look and fully appreciate what this present true nature is.
The Questions—A Means to Approach Direct, Non-
Conceptual Recognition
The following series of questions are provided to highlight various
facets of your real being. They will serve to flesh out the recognition
of what you already are, which is fully present but perhaps not fully
appreciated. When considering the questions, look in your
immediate experience and respond from your own direct, non-
conceptual, non-theoretical knowing. By answering these questions
for yourself, various aspects of your true nature will come clearly into
view, not based on theory or speculation, but through direct, first-
hand knowing.
[1] Can you recognize the sense that you are present, that you are?
And, further, can you recognize the fact of awareness?
Comment: The facts of being present and being aware are intuitively
and directly obvious, even without any reflection.
No one can say “I am not.” Even to assert that you are not, you must
be present to make the assertion. As for awareness, clearly all
thoughts, feelings, sensations and experiences are being known.
They are registering in some principle of knowing or cognition.
Otherwise, how could we know of them or speak of them? No one
can say that awareness is not present because the very assertion
arises as an object in present awareness.
[2] Did you need to think to note the fact of being and awareness?
Comment: Notice that when you are questioned about the sense of
being or the capacity of awareness, you can immediately and
intuitively affirm the presence of both of these. You do not need to
reference thought or engage the use of reason in order to respond.
Even before the mind activates in order to express an answer, the
positive answer is already known. This shows that the recognition of
the true nature of the self is not a product of thinking. It is immediate,
non-conceptual knowing. If you are in the habit of using the mind as
your primary instrument or tool of knowing, this point may not be
obvious. This is because the mind deals in concepts. Being is not a
concept. Awareness is not a concept. In truth, the mind has no
capacity to recognize your true nature. This is why one often hears
statements such as “the answer is not in the mind” and “the mind
cannot understand this” and so forth.
[3] Notice the fact of being present and aware. Also notice that
various thoughts, feelings, sensations and experiences are arising
and setting in this aware presence. As you notice these changing
experiences, does the sense of being present and aware change at
all? Does it disappear? Does it waver? Does it come and go?
Comment: Not only is the sense of being-awareness present now,
but the presence or absence of thoughts, feelings, sensations and
other experiences does not affect this in any way. Your presence
remains unmodified and undisturbed in and through all appearances.
Begin to notice this for yourself. We are generally so captivated by
experiences that we completely overlook the being-awareness that is
the necessary background for them all. For example, how many
thoughts, feelings or perceptions can you have without the presence
of your existence and awareness?
[4] Do you have to wait for the future to recognize this (meaning, the
sense of being and awareness)?
Comment: You do not wait for the future to know the fact of being
and the presence of awareness. Being and awareness do not
happen in the future. They are present facts. Your true nature is not
something that will arrive as a future event or experience. Being-
awareness, which we have already determined to be our essential
nature, is already here.
An important implication of this is that any spiritual approach that
relies on time or posits some attainment in the future is evidently
dualistic and out of harmony with the basic message of non-duality.
The aim of non-dual teachings is clear self-recognition. Our true
nature or essential self does not reside in the future. Therefore, any
doctrine which relies on a future state or condition, even if that be
termed an awakening or enlightenment event, is operating in the
realm of duality.
[5] Do you need to take up a practice, technique or exercise to
recognize being-awareness?
Comment: In order to recognize present being-awareness is any
technique, process or exercise necessary? The answer must be
negative. You do not need to do anything to be present. You do not
have to do anything to generate awareness. In fact, it is quite the
reverse—in order to do or undertake anything, the sense of
existence-awareness must be already present as a prerequisite.
Those who are practicing, striving and exerting themselves in order
to attain some spiritual goal have the cart before the horse. Self-
knowledge, which is the recognition of your true nature, is not the
result of a practice. Practices may be useful for relative
achievements and accomplishments, but they are entirely useless in
the case of self-knowledge. In fact, they are worse than useless,
because by pursuing such practices we are actively denying the
essential recognition that our true nature is here and now.
[6] Do you need to read a spiritual book to recognize being-
awareness?
Comment: Is it necessary to read a book to notice the fact of being
and its natural capacity of awareness? You must answer in the
negative. Many of us have searched in spiritual books in hopes of
discovering the truth of who we are. But your self is not in a book, so
no amount of looking there will bring you closer to knowing who you
are. The only real value books (or any other pointers) can have is to
point out the need for knowing that principle of being-awareness that
is present within us. No objective looking or searching is needed for
the clear and simple knowing of our true nature.
[7] Does someone come and give this (being-awareness) to you or is
it already here?
Comment: Many of us are under the impression that the recognition
of who we are comes from the influence of something or someone
outside of ourselves. This could be through a teacher, through the
grace of a god or some other intervention. But is it true that someone
or something descends upon us and delivers being-awareness to
us? The fact of being-awareness is already available. Nothing needs
to be brought in from the outside.
[8] Do you need to have a special “awakening” or “enlightenment”
experience to see this, your present being and awareness?
Comment: As seekers, many of us assumed that self-knowledge
implies some special spiritual insight or attainment, some
extraordinary state of consciousness or moment of understanding.
But do you have to have any awakening or enlightenment
experience to know the fact of being-awareness? While waiting for
some hoped-for enlightenment or awakening, we are missing the
fact that what is being pointed to is already completely present.
[9] Do you need to make an effort to be present and aware?
Comment: Are you making any effort at all to be or to be aware? You
do not struggle to be present and aware. They are not something
that you do. These are naturally present and involve no effort at all.
[10] Can you do anything to stop being present and aware?
Comment: Not only are being and awareness effortlessly and
naturally present, but there is nothing you can do to stop them,
eradicate them or cancel them. You cannot turn them off, even if you
want to. No amount of activity on your part can make being-
awareness disappear. So not only is our true nature of being-
awareness already present, but there is nothing we can do to lose it.
[11] Is your sense of being, this aware presence, something you can
grasp hold of as an object?
Comment: Is your sense of being-awareness something that you
perceive “out there” as something objective, apart from yourself? Is
that essential awareness a thought, feeling or experience that you
can point to and say “there it is”? You cannot point to being or
awareness as “things,” as objects standing before you. Being-
awareness has no particular form, shape or dimension. Being-
awareness is not an object. It cannot be grasped by the mind (as a
thought) or by the senses (as a perceived object), and yet it is most
clearly present. Its presence is utterly beyond doubt.
We tend to overlook the truth of who we are because our being
cannot be known through the instruments of knowledge we are
accustomed to using. If you attempt to understand your true nature
through the senses or mind, you will miss it. However, once you
grasp this basic point, you can let go using the senses and mind to
understand your true nature and rely upon non-conceptual,
immediate knowing.
You are and you know that you are. This itself is recognizing your
true nature. This is not simply knowing, as if you were knowing some
objective fact, but it is also being. You are what you know and you
know what you are. This is a unique phenomenon in which what is
knowing and what is being known are one and the same thing. Being
is, and being knows itself. For this reason, our essential nature is
sometimes referred to as “self-knowing awareness.”
[12] In your direct experience, is it that you are one thing and
existence-awareness is something else “over there” and apart? Or is
it that you ARE that which is present and aware?
Comment: The point here is that being-awareness is not a principle
separate from us. It is not that we are here and being-awareness is
somewhere “over there.” Rather, we are that which is present and
aware. Being-awareness is non-separate from who we are. It is what
we are. This means that what we are and the principle of being-
awareness are not two different things. This shows that the “goal” of
the non-dual teachings is not a distant objective. The real aim is the
revelation of what we are. Our true nature and the ultimately real
essence of things are one and the same. This is non-duality. This is
why there is no path, no goal and no attainment—because what we
have been seeking is what we already are.
Our true nature is ever present, beyond the need for seeking and
impossible to lose. It is already the case. The only issue was that we
did not appreciate what was already here. And this is why there is no
possibility of deepening, stabilizing, growing into it and so forth. All
such notions are clearly rooted in the subtle concept of separation or
duality. Only an imagined entity that is separate and apart from the
reality can dream of deepening, stabilizing or what have you. In the
clear seeing of the facts, all of those notions are discarded as
conceptual errors based on ignorance. Identity does not become
more identical. Awareness does not become more aware. Existence
does not become more existent. You do not become more of what
you already are.
[13] It is granted that bodies and minds suffer various experiences,
such as pleasure and pain, activity and calm and so on. But does
existence-awareness (your true nature) as such suffer any of these
experiences in its intrinsic nature?
Comment: Notice that the body, mind and senses all have
experiences. These experiences unfold in the realm of appearances
and are dualistic in nature. For example, the body may experience
pleasure or pain. But does awareness, your real essence,
experience pleasure or pain? No, because it is the body that has
those experiences. Awareness, in itself, is quite free and untouched.
It is not subject to either pleasure or pain. Consider the mind. The
mind may experience doubt or certainty, fear or safety, troubles or
contentment. These are clearly mental states. But does awareness
suffer any of these experiences? In other words, is it touched or
affected by these mental states? Again you will see that it is the mind
that is affected, but not your true nature of awareness.
What does this mean? It means that your true nature is totally free
of suffering, pain, doubt, fear, problems, questions, concerns and so
forth. It is also free of the opposites of all these things. What you are
is beyond all pain, suffering and doubt. But this is only describing
your true nature in terms of what it is not. On the positive side, we
can say that it is undisturbed peace, fullness and wholeness that can
never be lost or compromised. Why? Because this is the intrinsic
nature of our real self. This point illuminates another key facet of our
true nature. Not only is our essential being present and aware, but it
is also unconditional peace, happiness, and freedom.
Our only “problem,” if one may say so, was not appreciating this
that we truly are and ever have been. None of this arrives as a future
attainment. It is realized to be the ongoing and ever-present
condition of what is. We are only acknowledging the nature of what
we already are. That is why there does not need to be a deepening
or stabilizing, but only a recognition of something that already is. All
approaches that rely on gradual attainment, deepening, stabilizing
and so on are still in terms of the illusion that we are something that
we are not. The only emphatic remedy is clear self-knowledge.
There is no attainment beyond self-knowledge because the self, our
essential being, is perfect wholeness and absolute freedom. Who
you are is non-separate from the one reality itself. There is nothing
beyond non-duality.
[14] Does any appearance (thought, feeling, sensation, object, state
or experience) exist independent or separate from presence-
awareness?
Comment: Everything that we ever know or experience appears
within presence-awareness. You have never had a single thought,
feeling, sensation or any other experience outside of awareness. In
other words this presence-awareness is the necessary precondition
for anything else to be. Without this conscious presence nothing else
is. Because objects of experience and the presence of awareness
are never known independently of each other, they must be, in
essence, the same undivided substance or principle. Just as waves
are nothing but water or gold ornaments are nothing but gold, so are
all appearances nothing but that one undeniable being-awareness.
All that appears, including the seeker himself, is only that.
 Why Did Separation Ever Arise?
If you look at negative thoughts, they revolve around a notion that we
are separate, limited and incomplete. They all hang on this root
belief. So the common sense approach is to look at that core belief
and see if it is true and confirm what our true nature actually is. That
is the practical resolution of the issue. Then there are no more
questions and doubts. To resolve this matter through clear
understanding is the best use of one’s energy and curiosity. All else
is a delaying tactic. No matter how much you try to get to first
causes, you must still clarify this basic misunderstanding in the end.
As to why the ignorant notion of separation ever arose in the first
place, a practical answer might be that from a young age we were
conditioned by a wrong belief, which we innocently took as true.
Everything else evolved from this. There is no real explanation for
why the notion of separation arose because any bit of looking shows
that such a condition is not the case. There is no separation at all.
Seeing this, the root is addressed and all delusive notions are
undercut here and now. Ignorance and suffering have a cause, but
when you investigate the cause, you find that the cause is not
present. It is a false assumption. The separation from source never
happened. So there can be no explanation for why separation
occurred, because it never did. It is a false question. You do not
answer a false question. You see it as false and discard it.
From another angle you can say that with the rise of the potential
for conceptual, abstract thinking, the mind developed the capacity to
formulate notions like ‘I’ and ‘mine’. The mind took its own creations
for substantial, real entities. Then it got a bit lost in it own concepts—
for a time. But awareness has not been entangled or bound by these
errors of the mind. In fact, it is what is seeing this and motivating the
return to the clear vision of things.
One final angle on this. ‘Why?’ implies causality. It means ‘What is
the reason?’ ‘How did this occur?’ ‘When did this occur?’ ‘What was
the motivation?’ These are clearly thoughts in the mind. The belief in
causality is driving these questions. That is to say, causality is taken
as valid. But causality itself is a creation of thought. It applies to the
world of appearances. Outside of the mind, you cannot speak of
causality as such because it only applies after the mind is present
and has created notions of time, space and agency. So to asking
‘why did the thought of separation ever arise?’ assume that before
the mind was present causality was in operation. So it is a false
question.
At a young age the notion of separation was thrust on the mind
and taken as true. But this can be re-examined and resolved now.
Then there are no longer any problems. In seeing this, the questions,
doubts and suffering fall away. You are perfect and completely free
right now because there is no actual separation from source.
 Memory
Memory comes up in the form of thoughts and images in the present
moment like any other thought activity. So memory is a form of
thought. Memories are present thoughts that arise and pass in
present-moment awareness. Practically speaking, memory seems to
be a function that ties together, coordinates and recalls former
thoughts. It appears to store concepts and images and bring them
forth. Conditioned beliefs, such as the notion of being a separate self
and all the related identifications, survive in memory. Without
memory, they have no substance, no continuity, no real existence.
So, in a sense, you can say that all our problems are due to the
capacity of memory. All of our beliefs, points of view and
assumptions appear to be stored there. Furthermore, the reference
point of a fixed ‘I’, thinker or self only resides in memory.
Memory as a thing in itself is hard to pin down. It is like the
concept of ‘the mind’. Where is ‘the mind’? There are thoughts
passing through awareness, but where is ‘the mind’ apart from that?
It is the same with memory. We posit such a function or entity, but
where is it apart from the presently arising thoughts? It just so
happens that we label some presently occurring thoughts as
memories. Then we assume a past to which those memories refer.
In this way, a whole conceptual world is spun up in thoughts. But
they are all occurring here and now in present awareness. It is
castles in air being constructed in thought. In a moment, we are
conceiving of a past time, a past world, a past entity that was in that
world, a memory to hold all that and ourselves as some of kind being
present in the middle of all of it. But take a deeper look and see what
is going on. In present awareness, present thoughts are appearing
and disappearing. It is all purely conceptual, purely imagined. Time,
the external world and the separate entity are all posited in thought.
They are taken as real, but are not actually present as substantial
things in themselves.
This is easy to see in the case of a dream. You fall into a dream
state. In that dream state, you have a discussion with a friend about
something you did together five years ago (in the dream). A normal
conversation occurs and you and your dream friend discuss various
events that happened. Appropriate memories appear to corroborate
everything. When you wake up you look back and see that it was all
fabricated in the mind in the moment of dreaming. There was no past
at all. Not to mention that there were no real dream characters
either! It was all appearances taken as real. However, awareness
stands beyond, free and untouched. It is not even in the dream. The
dream is in it. It suffers no limitations occurring in the dream. The
awareness itself is no limited appearance in the dream. It is not any
particular entity or object in the dream. It is the same with our
present awareness in this apparent waking state.
Conventionally, you can say that the mind creates the notion of a
substantial, independent self and that this belief is sustained in
memory. There is no harm in that as far as it goes. But the truth is
that it is all simply present thoughts. And there is no separate thinker
or ‘me’ to be found. Your actual identity is that space-like, utterly free
awareness itself. All self-centered thoughts are baseless, as there is
no one to whom they apply. See this clearly and there is really
nothing else needed. It is the heart of the matter. Seeing this,
suffering, doubt, seeking and personal problems vanish entirely.
 Ongoing Practice?
Seeing your fundamental identity and the absence of the conceptual
entity or person who is separate undercuts the need for an ongoing
process or a maintenance approach to things. The body-mind is
simply an appearance, a flow of energy, if you will. The notions that
appearances are ‘powerful’, ‘difficult’, ‘turbulent’, ‘dreadful’ and need
to be managed or integrated are conceptual interpretations. This
stems from putting an unnecessary amount of focus on them. See
them for what they are—ephemeral, insubstantial appearances.
Emotions and feelings are waves of energy, spontaneous
appearances in awareness. They only seem significant when
focused on. Otherwise, they are seen as they truly are, just passing
states arising in clear, problem-free awareness. They are neither
right nor wrong. There is nothing to fix or correct because, ultimately,
there is nothing substantial present.
The past is non-existent. The future is non-existent. That only
leaves whatever handful of thoughts and feelings are arising
presently. They come and go in an instant because they have no real
substance. So what is to fix, integrate or heal? This is especially the
case when you see that those things are not your identity. There is
no self, no entity present. So not only is there no real objective
problem, but there is no person present to have a problem. This way
of looking resolves any lingering anxiety about appearances.
Once you see that you, as a limited person, do not exist and that,
therefore, no appearances can be related to a self-center, then the
tendency to focus on thoughts and emotions dissipates. Much less
are you inclined to put energy into labeling them. Emotional energies
in themselves are impersonal. They do not carry inherent value
judgments, such as ‘good’ or ‘painful’. Those are all conceptual
overlays put on by the mind.
Simply let things remain unmodified, unaltered and uncorrected.
With a clear view of your real nature and the undermining of the
belief in the false self, you find there is not much interest in relating
emotional states to the saga of a person who needs to be fixed.
Then the emotional energies come to their own natural balance. The
clarification of the fundamentals tackles this type of issue at the
roots, rather than dealing with effects. Beliefs, problems, blockages
and so on are effects of unexamined views and assumptions. When
these are addressed, the effects usually resolve naturally.
There is no ongoing practice because there is no time and no
person. You are not separate from oneness or totality. So what
practice is needed and who is to do it? Who says that emotions are
right or wrong, pleasant or painful? Who decided that things need to
be integrated or that there is more work to do? From the position of
oneness all is a spontaneous appearance. If something comes up to
be done or corrected in the body and mind, that will come up. There
need not be any anxiety about it.
 Take the Focus Off of the Mind
All that can ever happen is that some thoughts and feelings arise
momentarily and disappear. They are ephemeral dream stuff, really.
They appear in the clear, solid and unwavering light of your being.
Your being is not a thought. It is not contained by thought. So,
acknowledge this presence and let your consideration return to it. It
is already free, open and clear—just like the sky is free of the
passing clouds.
Thoughts and feelings never causes suffering. How can they,
since they do not really touch you? They are gone in a moment. Our
only trouble is being fascinated with them because we take them as
true. Suffering thoughts are self-centered stories in the mind about a
poor, defective ‘me’ that is separate, apart, incomplete. We suffer
because we focus on these thoughts. Otherwise, they pass through
without a hitch. The thoughts survive because they refer to a
separate self we take to be present and real. Stop right now and look
in your experience. Is there any actual defective person here? Do
you see one? Or are there only a few thoughts and feelings passing
through? There is nothing else here. The defective person that is
driving our fixation on thought is a myth. All that is here is spacious,
open and luminous awareness itself. Seeing this burns off all mental
and emotion fog.
Take the focus off of the mind. Take a walk. Look at the sky, the
trees, the land. Notice how awareness encompasses it all.
Conceptual thought is just a small part of everything going on. Be
alive to the whole field of awareness. This reduces the fixation on
ephemeral thoughts. Do whatever works for you to snap out of
keeping focused on thoughts and feelings. They will pass. You will
remain.
Dialogues with John
 1
Who Is Aware of Thought?
Question: The natural state is pure awareness, not my awareness
but just beingness. So far, so good. But that awareness does not
register in deep sleep nor presumably in death. So what is eternal
about it? And how can one know it when dead or anesthetized?
Several events happened in my life when there was no ‘me‘. There
was just being, seeing and hearing with no sense of ‘me‘, but the
body and mind were definitely awake. In deep sleep or under
anesthetic, there is no awareness, presence, being or
consciousness. So is presence, the natural state, only registering
when the body-mind is awake and alive?
John: It is not true that you cease to exist or be aware in sleep. The
mind and senses are in abeyance. That is all. If a thought, dream or
sensation appears in deep sleep, you, as presence-awareness, are
there to register it. It is easy to see this here and now in the waking
state. Thoughts and experiences are arising and setting constantly.
Do you cease to be present and aware as the thoughts appear and
disappear? Who observes the passing of a thought? When the
thought is gone, do you cease to be present and aware? Not at all!
We overlook the simple fact of the unchanging presence of our
real nature due to being identified with and focused on objects. But
your real nature is not an object. Can you really say that you come
and go as the thoughts come and go? Where are you in the moment
between two thoughts? Can you say you are not? Sleep is just an
extended moment, so to speak, between thoughts or experiences. If
you have not disappeared between two thoughts, neither have you
disappeared in sleep. All talk of sleep is theoretical, as we are talking
about a hypothetical state, from the point of view of the present
moment. You, as presence-awareness, are here and now. You can
see what you are now rather than worry about other states and
conditions.
Keep it simple. You are present and aware. This is beyond doubt.
Feel your way into this doubtless presence that you are. All other
considerations take you into conceptual thought and away from what
is being pointed to.
2
 There Is No One Apart from This
Question: I am still in bit of a quandary over this so-called
‘ordinariness‘. I am wondering about the ‘juice‘. I know that in all this
wondering there is still a ‘me' that is looking to be seen, trying to fool
me once again. I know that any feeling of lack, including wanting
more juicy stuff, has to be based on the assumed sense of ‘I‘. When
the ‘me' appears in the form of wanting something it feels it does not
have, do you continue with the inquiry? It feels like this is the case. I
mean, thoughts keep rising.
John: Is there anything wrong with the awareness shining right here
and now? Thoughts, feelings and experiences come and go, but can
you deny the space of knowing presence that is illuminating it all?
And are you separate from that? The existence that you are is life,
light, presence, love—unfathomably deep and rich. It is the source
from which all arises and into which it all sets. Can there be a mind,
a body or a world apart from presence-awareness? It is the heart of
being, the source of knowing, the source from which everything
springs. It is the substance from which all is made. You are that
essence. There is no one and no thing apart from this. Some call it
God, spirit, source or love. It is the very essence of existence and
life.
Simply recognize this undeniable and inescapable presence of
awareness that you are. All life, peace, clarity and joy are in that.
These are all aspects of the true nature that you are. Settle in with
the recognition that your own true nature is not other than this
presence-awareness. It appears subtle to the mind used to gross
sensations and experiences. Be willing to stay with that subtleness.
You will find immense depth in it. All else is simply thoughts and
objects appearing in this awareness that you are. The sense of
knowing presence is what you are and remain as, no matter how
many thoughts and ideas arise.
The notion of being something apart from presence-awareness is
the root concept that sustains the belief in a sense of separate
selfhood. However, there is no ‘me’, and no separate self at all. All
the notions, beliefs and desires that are built on this false idea are
also false. When attention wanders onto these ideas and beliefs, the
imagined identity is given reality and your identity as doubtless
presence-awareness is overlooked. However, when this is looked
into, you immediately see that the whole thing is a conceptual house
of cards. It falls to pieces with a only bit of examination.
There is no ‘me’ or ‘I’ to be gotten rid of. It is pointed out as an
assumption that has no existence. If there is no ‘I’, then who needs
to do anything? All the problems are for the seeming separate self.
So, you tell me, just where is this thing?
Thoughts arise. Of course! The wind blows, clouds appear,
activities happen, objects show up on the screen of awareness.
There is no problem. It is all swirling around in presence-awareness,
which is your real nature. Those experiences do not affect your true
nature at all.
All trouble comes from losing sight of what we are. Be what you
are and what is the trouble? Why give any weight to the old concepts
that there is a problem, that you are not there yet, that there is a
practice needed to be what you are? It is tempting to believe that a
carrot is dangling at the end of the stick. We have spent enough time
going around that track! Have a look at the whole mechanism and
simply see the true facts. Look for yourself and tell me, from your
direct experience, what is the nature of this presence-awareness that
you are? Somehow, I do not think you will say that it is bland,
ordinary or lacks ‘juice’. All the great spiritual traditions are only
describing your true nature—vast, empty, free, peaceful,
unchanging, one with all, the source, light, life, love, beauty, truth.
Remember the immense treasure that lies within, that nameless
essence that is undeniably present and aware in you.
Old thoughts and concepts may arise due to habit and years of
pampering them. Simply see them as baseless ideas shining right in
the true essence that you are. That essence is completely present,
whole and complete right now. This is your birthright, your home,
your native ground. Refuse to grant belief to concepts, and take your
stand on what is undeniable and present in you. Look at everything
from this perspective. This puts everything into proper focus. The
apparent separate entity is a total fiction. It has never existed, except
as an assumption. That which does not exist and has never been
present does not need to be fixed, corrected or made complete. Nor
can such an imagined thing knock you out of your true nature. A bit
of looking shows that presence-awareness is what is real and that
you have never, ever been apart from this. Seeing this, it is clear that
all problems are imaginary. They are baseless assumptions taken as
true. They are completely annihilated with simple looking and
questioning.
You are and you know you are. If there is any doubt, then come
back and see for yourself what is true about who you are. Take your
stand there.
 3
Follow the Insights Back to Your Real
Nature
Question: I had an insight about thoughts of the past and future. I
realized forcefully and for the first time that right now is the only
reality there is to inquire about. The rest is just thoughts. Therefore,
my present consciousness is that reality. I need not worry about
anything else. That freed me up to be conscious of the availability of
my awareness at any time. I do not want to try to label it too much. I
have seen too many people make grand and mystifying
announcements about their sudden states of grace, which turn out to
be only passing experiences. I now see awareness itself. I see its
qualities of depth, space, beauty and peace beginning to show.
At the same time, I still worry about my problems and wish I did
not have to do anything that involves conflict or actual work! I really
want to grasp what the pointers are about, and I believe that
‘effortless living' is really possible with this understanding. I do not
mean having no challenges, but resolving problems more easily and
confidently. It seems key to not expect emotions, conflicts and
problems to dissolve or go away. Even when abiding in love, people
are just people. They slip up and do things that are not so nice. And
some people only think they understand, but are off on another ego
trip. It is up to each of us to decide how to relate to purported
teachers or students claiming understanding. Most of all, it is up to
us to realize that life goes on, even with the understanding. It is not a
ticket to fly to the moon and play among the stars!
John: Follow the insights back to your actual nature, which is
doubtlessly present and aware. Through all the seeming ups and
downs and ins and outs, you have never lost your true nature, nor
has the innate and natural awareness that you are ceased to shine.
You are present and aware. That is fully clear, fully here now. From
the point of view of the mind, it is a seeming no thing. Awareness?
So what, we may say! From the point of view of direct recognition or
knowing, it is open, clear, free and untouched by whatever appears.
As I say, it is not that ‘we’ get free. Rather, it is that we discover that
we are inherently and always free. We were only looking into the
mind and taking ourselves to be what we were not. Focusing on the
stories and thoughts in the mind, we overlooked what was clear and
present and shining right here in plain view. To reclaim our identity as
that presence-awareness is the essence of it all.
Yes, thoughts and activities go on. Why not? Where is the problem
in any of it? None of it is a problem. None of it binds until we begin to
interpret it through the filters of thought and belief based on the
limited sense of self. Even so, it is only mind stuff. Nothing is really
happening at all! Those thoughts rise and set right in the presence
that you are. When recognition remains with our true nature, all the
fixation on self-centered concepts drops away. We remain in and as
that simple sense of presence. It is quite simple, so simple we are
apt to discount it. But at some point, the evidence of our own direct
experience is overwhelming.
Life, thoughts and day-to-day activities spontaneously appear,
swirl around and float through. There is absolutely no problem with
any of it. There is no need to posit a sense of personal self in the
picture. There is no need to assume a problematic ‘you’ with an
issue. The seeming person that we take ourselves to be is not really
present. Of course there are thoughts, actions, preferences and
activities, but there is no one present to whom they are happening,
only the open space of awareness itself.
Who you have imagined yourself to be is a make-believe
character, a fictional creation in the mind. Where is she if you are not
thinking about her? Our misunderstanding is taking that fabrication to
be who we are. The whole essence of this is to see that false
assumption as false, and to see the truth of what we are. You are not
and never were a fictional character created in the mind. You are
and always have been that bright, clear, open space of presence-
awareness in which everything appears and disappears. It is so
simple that we overlook it. For a time, we continue to favor the
beliefs in the mind about ourselves over the direct recognition of our
real nature as it is. Then we see that we cannot possibly be a
concept. No thought or experience is what we are. We cease to
believe in the mental picture of ourselves and relax into the pure
knowingness that we truly are. This is the natural state. We are in
that state now. We simply see the truth of this.
Worries and doubts are only thoughts appearing in the mind. They
have no real substance and do not really touch us. Settle in with the
knowing of what you are and the interest and belief in the mind-
created thoughts withers away. Such thoughts are not a problem.
You deal with whatever comes up in a practical and straightforward
way, to the best of your ability. There is less and less inclination to
interpret events and experiences through the point of view of a
problematic, separate self. Why keep up all that hard work when you
can simply relax and effortlessly remain as that presence-awareness
that you cannot leave?
 4
This Is Easy and Effortless
Question: I recently discovered your website and decided to listen to
your interview with Allin Taylor. Your simple description of your
meeting with ‘Sailor’ Bob Adamson shifted my perspective radically. I
suddenly saw the simple truth in it all. I realized the natural state that
I had been seeking was awareness itself.
John: This is key.
Q: I had been thinking that awareness was what led to the natural
state rather than seeing that it was the natural state itself. Over the
next few days being aware was relatively easy.
John: It is one hundred percent easy and effortless. It is going on all
the time. It is not a state you achieve. It is the natural state. Natural
means effortless. It is not a maintenance state.
Q: My life just seemed to flow, with actions being taken as and when
required, seemingly without any input from me. It also seemed like
there was nothing else that needed answering.
John: This is the natural condition, the normal state. You
experienced this directly. The direct recognition of who and what you
are undercuts the false concepts based on the belief in being a
separate, limited person or entity. What you saw and experienced
was the gist of it. Do not overlook the importance of this.
Q: One of the things that occurred to me was the feeling that
everything was okay at the moment. But what happens when events
in my life take a downward turn? I try to treat this lightly and look
upon it as another thought, consoling myself with the fact that when
that happens it is just another experience and that I should not give it
any more significance than anything else in my life.
John: You need a clear understanding of what is going on if you are
going to be truly free of it. You may try to dismiss the thoughts, but if
you have not clearly seen the underlying causes generating them,
they will return.
Q: A reoccurring background problem that I do seem to have is my
dislike for my current employment. I am a computer programmer, but
after over twenty years in the industry, I find that I have little
motivation for doing it anymore, other than I am relatively well paid
for what I do. I am experiencing a crisis, in as much as I am almost
at the point of being fired for lack of performance! I cannot seem to
act one way or another, which is causing me to suffer, as you may
imagine. The real problem seems to be the fact that I cannot
rationalize my apparent dilemma with being in the natural state. I
seem to see events taking place and have no interest in them
whatsoever. That very fact itself is causing me anguish. It is almost
like I am watching a film of a train wreck happening. Can you offer
some light on the situation?
John: Be very clear that the problem is not in the objective events.
Your body will work or not, determined by the circumstances. There
is absolutely no problem with it. If a change needs to happen it will.
All the doubts and suffering are generated in thought, based on how
the mind is framing things. See that all suffering is created in the
mind. You have a sense of what it means to be the natural state of
awareness. But how, where and why the suffering arises is yet to be
fully understood. It is not difficult, but requires some looking and
inquiry to see the mechanism of it. When this is understood, the
outer events will sort themselves out effortlessly and will not be a
problem. There is definitely an answer and resolve to your dilemma.
How do I know? I went through a similar situation myself. Looking at
these pointers cleared things up completely. It can work for you, too.
[Follow up]
Q: Thank you for your extensive response. In the short time since my
original email, I managed to work through several of the issues by
realizing that, as you confirmed, awareness is key. I realized that the
problems I mentioned were part of my conditioned response system
to my experiences. I could see that my mind felt no need to act when
I had good or neutral experiences but did not like it when my
experience was evaluated as bad. My mind then went into a strategy
of actions to try to get itself back to a place that it perceived as
comfortable. By being aware and observing my experiences, I could
see that no experience was better or worse than any other. Your
comments seemed to confirm this.
I am beginning to see that, as you say, awareness is key. All other
issues of understanding are beginning to fall into place. I feel like
there is a consolidation process going on with a ‘mopping up' of
secondary issues being resolved as and when they arise. I only need
to remain with my natural state and not let the mind divert me. Thank
you once more for your help.
 5
Do Whatever Comes Up Next
Question: I had a wonderful time in Australia. As for my talks with
Bob Adamson, I do not have a lot to say aside from—you were right.
I talked with Bob for about an hour a day when I was there. My
doubts and questions were systematically undermined until things
became quite clear. My dialogues with you last year were a good
preparation, probably making Bob‘s job a lot easier!
The mind is now jabbering away with questions such as ‘What to
do now?’ ‘Should I make some attempt to try to share this?’ ‘Should I
try to articulate thoughts around this?’ ‘Can the search really be
over?’ ‘What search?' and so on. But the thoughts are easily seen
through as having no real reference point. The feeling of concern
that usually accompanied such thoughts previously seems no longer
to be there. It is hard to articulate. Any articulation of ‘it’ must
necessarily fail miserably. Does a way of expressing this naturally
arise as the understanding sets in? I do not feel a strong motivation
to ‘hang out a shingle' and start talking about this. At the same time,
I am willing to share the understanding with anyone who might find it
helpful.
Thanks again for everything, John. I feel a tremendous gratitude to
you and Bob Adamson. You were like brothers who welcomed me
home after a long and difficult trip.
John: I am glad to hear all is well and settling in. Basically, there is
no need to worry about anything. I had the same questions for Bob
Adamson after seeing him, to which he pointedly replied, ‘Just do
whatever comes up next!’ It was a simple but comprehensive point.
There is no issue because thoughts and experiences come up
spontaneously with no reference to a self-center. Who is choosing
anything? Where is the problem with any of it? Stay with the basic
recognition of what you are, and from there everything takes care of
itself. If you are going to share this, you will. If not now, then you will
not. Follow your heart and intuition. The intelligence within you will
bring up whatever is bound to come up to do. From the ultimate
view, it does not matter, because you are what you are, regardless.
Enjoy the presentation of whatever arises in the field of awareness.
You will marvel how all things naturally unfold, and you will see the
underlying harmony and inevitability of whatever happens.
Q: Thank you for the thoughts. There is a bit of wavering, but for the
most part there is hardly any concern about things like there used to
be. I will definitely keep in touch.
John: All sounds fine. You are what you are and you know what you
are. The only thing that can potentially come up are some residual
habits of mind from the past based on the belief in being what we are
not. They come up from time to time and are seen. It is only
thoughts. What you are is never touched in the slightest. Once you
have gotten a feel for all this, you cannot ever go back into the old
beliefs with the same conviction. Everything naturally unwinds, and
there is greater sense of simply abiding in and as your natural state
of presence-awareness. That is the whole enchilada in a nutshell, to
mix metaphors.
 6
Keep Things Simple
Question: I have continued to probe into this question of a ‘reference
point‘. Not surprisingly, I cannot find one. Yet, suffering continues. It
appears there are three difficulties I am having. First, in my current
depressed state, when the pain being felt over a broken love affair is
acute, there is a tendency for the mind to attempt to find the solution
in the outside world. In particular, it seems that if I could win the girl
back there would be instant relief. Seeing through the self center
appears to be a more problematic solution at the moment. Of course,
I can also ask, ‘Who thinks it is more problematic?' I am sure this is
not an original observation, but it seems overly simplistic for the
nondualists to say, ‘There is no distinction between you and me‘. The
fact is that I have a personal history, a visual perspective on the
world, ‘my' emotions, ‘my' body and ‘my' pain. Surely I am missing
something fundamental in bringing up this point. Finally, a remaining
hurdle for me is encapsulated in the following statement from your
book ‘Awakening to the Natural State’: ‘When you look deeply into
this, you find that these ideas [of separation] never really touch you
at all‘.
Unless I am mistaken, the word ‘you' is used in two different
senses here. I assume that the ‘you' that looks deeply is the thinking
mind, because who else could be ‘looking deeply‘? Presumably not
the presence-awareness, which has no ability to look. However, the
‘you' that is never touched by ideas of separation is obviously
presence-awareness, which is what you and I really are.
When I hear or read the verbal pointers, it is my mind that is trying
to make sense of them. Perhaps it is even my mind that is trying to
get out of its own way. It is a dog chasing its own tail. As you note,
the answers cannot be found in the mind. But since we have no tools
other than words to communicate this stuff, it seems to be an
insolvable conundrum. You speak or write words, my thinking mind
hears or reads and interprets words. Only the pointing finger is
understood, not what is being pointed to. I think that is why people
start talking about grace being required to ‘get it‘, or there being
nothing to ‘get’ at all.
I do not want to settle for a shabby kind of ‘advaita-lite' experience.
I do not want to feel somewhat better about myself because of my
faith that ultimately everything is an appearance in presence-
awareness, while meanwhile I have to read constantly to remind
myself of that!
John: I suggest you keep things simple and give up all the attempts
to pin this down in thought. The questions you are asking appear
cogent, but are not addressing the real issue. The real issue is your
view of yourself. Everything spins from what you take yourself to be.
This has nothing to do with advaita philosophy and pointers. After all,
those are more words. You suffer because you take yourself to be
what you are not. It is that simple.
Presence-awareness is here. It is clear and well-known at all
times. No matter what you think, say or do, that natural presence,
your real nature remains as the space in which all appears and
disappears. It simply cannot be denied. You are and you know you
are. In the absence of conceptualization based on the imagined
person and its problems that awareness simply shines as a natural
and open presence of clarity. This is known in direct experience. This
is pointed out as a fact. If it is not clear, look into this and verify it for
yourself. This part is already becoming clear for you at some level.
Forget all the double-speak and language analysis. In the end,
that is simply looking into thought for an answer and away from the
fact that what you are seeking is already fully present as your true
nature. It is also failing to acknowledge that the mind alone is the
cause of all your apparent doubts and problems. Keep things
extremely practical. See how all psychological suffering (doubts,
questions, problems, issues, dilemmas) is simply fabricated in
thought. The truth is that all your questions and doubts are more of
the same. As usual, our taking them seriously or believing in their
reality draws us into the mind and the natural state is overlooked.
We trade in the natural freedom of presence-awareness for self-
centered thoughts. Unfortunately, the latter leads to doubt and
suffering. For example, these questions are appearing, and you
believe there is something valid in them. On the other hand, you
could view them for what they ultimately are –thoughts floating in
bright, clear, doubtless presence-awareness. And is there a problem
with that?
Yet the tendency is to overlook this and go back to nursing the
mind, attending to concepts and ideas and taking them seriously.
You are jumping to the end game without fully investigating the steps
along the way. To say that you know that there is no self, but that the
suffering and problems are still arising, is too superficial. At a
practical level of living this, it implies questioning everything you
think and believe about yourself, all your supports and beliefs
systems, all your ideas of what brings happiness and causes
suffering.
Q: Great suggestions. Even as I asked the questions, I felt like I was
going further astray. Thank you for not compounding my error by
addressing the questions directly. I am going to do some
investigating to nail down the basics, as you say.
John: Stick with the basics. Let the pointers continue to support your
investigation into seeing what you are and what you are not. Once
you are clear what your real nature is, then you can look back at the
mind and question the habitual thoughts and assumptions that
generate doubt and confusion. The basic understanding is there for
you. All you need to do is apply what you know.
 7
Pain and Suffering
Question: What about God? Is God in the pure conscious awareness
that we are? Or are we an extension of a higher power? Can we turn
to it for guidance in seeking a life partner? What about prayer? I
have seen it heal. What happened there? What about how my heart
hurts when I see all the suffering in the world, especially abandoned
animals or children? What about pain in the body that arises? I still
feel a sense of separation from God. This is driving my longing for a
partner. I lost my Mother, Dad and a beloved Aunt over the past five
years. It has been the ‘dark night of the soul' dealing with their
departures. How can I untangle myself from this? I still feel suffering.
John: All questions, such as those you have raised, get resolved
through understanding your true nature. The questions and doubts
are created in the mind that imagines separation and believes that
there is something wrong. That is all! With the dissolution of the
belief in separation and the assumed defective, problematic self, all
the questions are undercut.
God is another pointer to the one reality. Suffering arises from
ignorance of who and what we are. The remedy is to get clear on the
basics for yourself. Then you are in the best position to help others.
You cannot fully help others without being clear on the basics.
Physical pain arises or not. Who chooses it anyway? It is the self-
centered story around the pain that generates suffering. That can be
dealt with through applying the pointers. Pain and suffering are two
separate issues. Use common sense to deal with pain to the extent
possible. To resolve suffering understand what you are and what you
are not.
[follow up.]
Q: Thank you so much for this! After I sent you my emails, I could
see the story in every single thing I wrote to you. I was talking about
a fictional sense of ‘me' who lost her parents and Aunt, who feels
heartbroken at the world‘s cruelty to animals and children and so on.
Damn, the pull of the story! And I know I have to see this for myself.
Neither you nor anyone else can give this to me.
John: It is good that you are seeing how the story is made of
thoughts centered around a fictional sense of ‘I’. The first step in
being free of thought is to see what is going on. You are getting the
hang of this.
 8
Why Something Rather Than
Nothing?
Question: You asked me to keep you updated, but I have been
remiss in that regard. So here goes. Basically, my word for it all is—
wonderment. The shining shines like the sun, our cosmic origin. Call
it miraculous, God, whatever. One basic question of philosophy is
‘Why is there something rather than nothing?' At its deepest level the
scientific model assumes an eventual explanation, which is an
analogue for a box the world lives in. I am familiar with all the words,
having read them many times. There is nowhere to go, nothing to do.
An eighth of an inch difference and heaven and hell are split apart. It
has all been said before, yet expresses nothing. All those words also
involve boxes. Nothing, something. Something, nothing. Why? I do
not know. It does not really matter anymore. The miracle, the
wonderment goes on and on. My update is not very newsworthy, but
there it is. The miraculous is no big deal.
John: The question ‘why something, rather than nothing?’ is one of
those seemingly cogent questions that disintegrates when examined.
It is posed by the mind trying to get a grip on something which it can
never understand. The mind appears in pure awareness and creates
concepts of time, causality and separation and then tries to pin those
concepts on that which is prior to the mind. How can the concepts of
the mind apply to that which is before the mind ever was? It is the
mind that says something has appeared over and against the
primordial oneness. But that which has appeared is the same nature
as its source. There is no separation, so there is no basis for the
question. The question is false. Seeing this, the question drops, and
you are left with what is. Call it ordinary, miraculous or anything you
like. Those are only more labels.
Q: Right you are. I listened to your broadcast with Allin Taylor, and in
it you mention people who continue acquiring concepts. That hit me.
They come to it and go right past it. I was one of them. Regarding
your discussion about why something rather than nothing, that is
clear. I had been confused by the presence-awareness. I assumed
that it, too, had to disappear with death, but now I understand that it
is a manifestation of the emptiness that keeps creating the world. I
am that emptiness.
John: You are that emptiness from which all things arise. That
emptiness is not separate from pure awareness, because awareness
is never cognized as an object. The emptiness and the awareness
are one and the same. The non-objective emptiness that is your true
nature is not an inert vacuum or void. That is the true emptiness. The
things which appear are not different in essence from that either.
How can they be, since they arise from it? This recognition cannot
be grasped by the mind, yet it is directly known in immediate, non-
conceptual seeing. It is the wordless, immediate recognition of that
which is present and aware in you. You are that ‘no thing’ which
cannot be grasped by the mind, but which undoubtedly is. Now you
know! You can never lose your own being. It cannot be given or
taken away. This is always present, closer than your next breath. It is
already realized and recognized before the next thought appears.
 9
Awareness Is Not Knowable by the
Mind
Question: I wanted to ask about the point you make that
enlightenment or knowledge of who we are is not a mental
experience, nor does it have anything to do with the mind. I have
read that countless times, but it meant something more to me this
time. It felt like the knowledge of who we are is not a mental
knowledge but an instinctive or formless knowledge, a kind of
knowing without a need for an object of the knowing. This was
helpful because it explains why we have the feeling of already
understanding this completely, and yet at the same time not getting
it. It is a weird conflict of understanding and confusion. It seems that
this conflict continues as long as we hope that the understanding will
move into a recognizable objective state where we can look at it and
say ‘yes, there it is, this is an enlightened state‘.
If I stop and recall that this self-knowledge is not of or in the mind,
that it is totally present and yet totally independent of the mind, then I
can understand why there has been this sense of a permanent
feeling of understanding ever since I can remember. In other words, I
can see how understanding and confusion have been able to
coexist, the confusion simply being a product of wanting to see the
understanding in the mirror of the mind.
John: The presence of awareness that is your real nature cannot be
grasped or known by the mind. The mind is an appearance in
awareness. It is an object of awareness. How can an object in
awareness know the awareness that you are? Once you see this,
you give up the attempt to understand this in the mind. Yet the fact of
your true nature, as that which is present and aware, is easily
recognized and noticed. In fact, such recognition is completely
natural and effortless. As you mentioned, trying to understand your
nature through the instrument of the mind results in confusion. This
is because it cannot be done. Seeing this is an important insight.
 10
There Is No Need to Improve the
Recognition
Question: I find that you and others who talk about this say one
particular thing that I get stuck on—that I cannot deny the very fact
that I am aware and present.
John: Good so far!
Question: But I am not so sure that I am! When I ask, ‘Who is it that
says I am not?' or ‘Who is it that doubts?' I get stuck in a mire.
John: At that point, you miss the simplicity of things and step back
into the mind. You are moving from the fact of presence-awareness,
which is undeniable, and stepping back into the mind to try to
‘improve’ the recognition. But if you see the radical point that the
answer cannot be known, recognized or grasped by the mind, you
will not go there. You do not look for water in a mirage, once you see
it as a mirage.
Q: I am not sure what an ‘I' is. Using the word seems to direct me
back to what I mentally think of as a ‘me‘, that is, the body-mind
organism. So asking ‘who?' or ‘what?' becomes a circle.
John: ‘I’ is only a word, a concept, a label in the mind. At best it is a
pointer back to your true nature. You are the undeniable
knowingness that is aware of that thought and all else. This is so
utterly simple that we often miss the basic point. If there is some
residual belief in your identity as being limited to the body-mind, then
look at that to see if it is really true. You are that space of knowing
presence in which the body, mind and world appear and disappear.
This is not a mystical understanding but a simple fact you can see
with a bit of looking. Remember, this in not a philosophical or
speculative endeavor. Your being is not a speculation. There is
nothing conceptual about it.
Question: Sometimes I feel tuned into the natural state. But isn‘t it
really a non-state?
John: ‘State’ and ‘non-state’ are only words. Who or what is knowing
those concepts? There are any number of pointers. None of them
are right or wrong in themselves. Find one that resonates and follow
it back to the fact of your true nature.
Question: The word ‘I' seems very coarse and ugly, and I get stuck
by using it.
John: Knowing what you are has nothing to do with words. So either
forget the words or simply see that they are provisional pointers. If
you look back to words and thoughts, what I am pointing out will
seem mysterious. However, this is only due to looking in the wrong
direction.
Question: Is this mental confusion created because anything other
than ‘I' is unknown and because the mind can only cope with an
entity?
John: It comes from looking for an answer in the mind, where it can
never be found. Your true nature is to be known, recognized or
acknowledged non-conceptually, without reference to thought or
anything else. Your true nature is not in the mind and cannot be
grasped by the mind. You cannot eat spaghetti with a pitchfork, so
do not try!
Question: Aren‘t I supposed to always know the truth of my being?
John: You are present and aware. This is undeniable. It is a fact that
cannot be refuted. It is not to be known or sought as if it is some
special object or state. It is the ever-present basis of all experiences.
How many thoughts can you have without the presence of
awareness? It is so evident that is does not even need to be known,
really. It is pointed out and simply acknowledged. Without thinking,
seeking or finding, you are that.
 11
Handling Doubts and Confusion
Question: Things are settling in since our meeting. The negation of
what appears in the awareness was what I had been pursuing. But
as you said, it was looking in the wrong direction and the focus was
on the objects. Now when I ask ‘Am I aware?' there is no effort
necessary. It is instantaneous, because it was never lost! How
simple it is to ignore this! I do not need to do anything to see this.
Making an effort means that I think I am separate from awareness,
which further strengthens the belief in the separate ‘I‘. What I
observed was that the feeling of ‘I‘, as pointed to by Nisargadatta
Maharaj, is the same as what is pointed to by this ‘Am I aware?'
question. It is very easy and effortless. The interesting thing is you
do not even need to ask ‘Am I aware?' If any confusion arises, it
arises in this awareness. I will let it settle and keep you posted about
the progress. What progress!? Thank you very much!
John: Your insights are good. They are consistent with the basic
pointers I was sharing. Continue to notice that the recognition of your
true nature is direct and immediate. See that in direct investigation
no separate person can be found apart from this. This looking will
demolish any residual questions and doubts. As you correctly state,
any doubt or confusion must appear in awareness. You are that. In
all times, places and situations you are that undeniable presence of
awareness that is beyond doubt.
 12
Life Finds Its Natural Expression
Question: I was led to this recently after years of passionate and
joyful spiritual study. Then, suddenly, after a meditation seminar,
desires began to drop away. I literally could not meditate anymore.
The searching waned, then stopped! I did not understand what was
happening. I began to search for answers and was led to the
pointers that you so wonderfully express, among others. What a
surprise, I was definitely not looking for this. It is proof that I am
being lived, that I had no choice, that what is happening is simply
happening.
So, here I am. And that is it! It is amazing and confusing and
ordinary, and I do not know what else. There are many states that
pass through lately. The shining presence is always there. I am
cooking, being fried up, baking in the oven, being marinated and
barbecued! I do not have any ambitions anymore. I hardly have any
desires either. I want to quit my job, which I wanted to do even
before all this. I have no interest in getting another one for the time
being. I just want to be, you know? I know that this will change. Is
this typical? Have you ever heard of this total lack of desire to do or
create? I used to love to write, but I have not written anything in
months. There is no interest whatsoever! I mean, I am here. I love
this life. I am grateful and curious. There is a passion, curiosity and
love for life happening. But there is no need or desire to do anything
with this life. Now I see that I never was in control anyway.
John: Knowing who are you does not mean you will sit on a rock and
do nothing. The natural life and intelligence that you are finds its
natural expression. It has been living your life all along and will
continue to do so. Whatever you do or do not do, you can never
leave the presence that you are. The creating and doing that was
motivated from the position of being a limited, separate self can fall
away through lack of any continued interest. Then you will have to
see what comes up naturally to do outside of that belief system. As
long as the body and mind are there, something will come up to be
done! You will have to see what that will be. And do not forget, there
is no separate doer in the picture anyway, so who is doing what?
[Follow up]
Q: Thank you for responding. This is very clear. It is a different way
of being, one that I truly welcome. I have no idea where I will be
moved, but also no doubt that all is happening as it should. This is
such a comforting realization. A deep knowingness of well-being
arises.
 13
There Is No One
Question: Here I am, writing to you so soon. I had a very emotional
day yesterday. What is coming up right now is to just stop. There is a
deep desire to stop all trying, hoping, wondering, controlling and
doubting. I see that nothing I have ever done has made a bit of
difference in what was supposed to happen. It is happening through
me, as me! But the thought is that if I let go and stop trying to mold
this life into something, all hell will break loose and everything will fall
apart. As if ‘I' were holding it together in the first place! This is so
laughable now. Life will go on as it always has! This is a little mind-
blowing and, I must say, a great relief. I simply cannot convince
myself that ‘I' have anything to do with what happens in this life.
God, this is liberating! The thought was that nothing would happen if
no effort were applied or no direction were chosen. But it is so silly,
isn‘t it? Who is in charge anyway? This is so humbling.
John: At the risk of stating what has become clear to you— there is
no one. The radical message of ‘no one’ means that there is no
entity to let go, stop, drop or do anything whatsoever. There is a
seeing that there is no one present at all apart from the obvious
presence-awareness that cannot be denied. All that appears is an
expression or manifestation within that. Nothing is added, nothing is
lost. There is no individual person, entity, doer, decider, chooser,
thinker or independent being. This understanding immediately
severs all questions, doubts, problems and psychological suffering—
which are all predicated on the existence of a separate one who
owns all that. That is the master sword stroke. Any doubt or worry is
only a concept appearing in the clear awareness that you are.
Nothing can touch ‘no thing’.
You do not need me or anyone to confirm the recognition of what
you are and what you are not. It is all there in clear view in
immediate seeing. All anyone can do is point. The seeing and
understanding are your own. Once you see this, any book or person
can only point to what you already know.
Q: This hit me between the eyes! There is stunned silence. Are you
saying that there is no body-mind ‘puppet’ being lived? That the
body-mind is not real? It is only an appearance in the awareness? If
so, everything is an appearance in the awareness. There are no
actual entities. Is this what you are pointing to?
John: Yes. You are that obvious presence-awareness that cannot be
denied. It is not an attainment, understanding or achievement.
Because that is what you are, there is no approach to it. Nor is there
a deepening or stabilization. It is a matter of identity. There is nothing
to do with a fact of identity. All is done now, here, today. You are
what you are seeking. All else is only an appearance in this that you
are. An appearance is something with no independent or substantial
nature at all. It does not truly exist. It only appears to be. What are
appearances? They are movements, vibrations, waves appearing—
in and on what? On your nature of pure, non-objective awareness.
Are waves something other than the water on which they appear?
There is no separation from the source. It is all one substance.
Awareness, your real being is all there is. You are that, and there
is only that. There are no puppets, no entities, no understandings
and no one present to stop trying. All is an imagined appearance, a
passing ripple on the expanse of the pure ocean of awareness,
which is ‘no thing’. You are that ‘no thing’. ‘No thing’ needs nothing.
That ‘no thing’ is full to perfection. You are that.
Today, now, as this is being read, all is done. All is complete. The
dream of separation is over. There has never, ever been a
separation from that. This resolves all doubts and questions. It
immediately annihilates the seeking and suffering, for those are
based on a separation from oneness, which is seen never to have
occurred. The cause of suffering is investigated and found to be
absent. What remains is all there ever was—pure, space-like,
shining, clear, wordless presence-awareness. It takes no effort to be.
You are already what you are seeking.
 14
Past and Future Are Present Ideas
Question: Thank you very much for your response to my email about
self-knowledge being entirely outside of the mind. I want to ask you
about ‘newness‘. For me, this feeling of newness is important. There
has been a sense that every experience, including every thought, is
completely new and has never occurred before. Driving along a
familiar road today, it seemed that, in a certain way, I had never seen
this road before, that I did not know it at all. On a basic level, I have
driven along this road many times, but on a more fundamental level,
it was a completely new experience. It is a feeling that there is no
joining between experiences. If I look closely at things, particularly
my thoughts, they take on a feeling of being completely new and
magically fresh. As such, they have no concurrent feeling of being
restrictive or painful. Can you comment on this?
John: I agree. Each thought, feeling, experience or occurrence
arises fresh and new in each moment. Past and future themselves
are present ideas arising in the fresh moment of now. Awareness,
your true nature, is timeless, because time is a creation of thought.
Without thought there is no time at all. So time arises in the mind, but
awareness stands beyond in a different realm altogether. Whether
thoughts appear or not, you remain as you are.
Taking ourselves to be an entity in the appearance, a separate ‘I’
apart from pure presence-awareness, is the root concept to be seen
through. Once that notion arises, the seeming entity gets caught in
the apparent past and future. It searches for wholeness and freedom
in time, which is purely conceptual. In this process, the natural
presence of awareness, which is what we are, is overlooked.
Questioning the concept of time greatly undercuts the
underpinnings of the imaginary separate self. In direct perception, or
immediate looking, there is no time, nor any separate self. There is
only the undeniable presence of awareness that you are. Seeing this
is immediate freedom. No process or time is involved. Time is not
real, so how could a reliance on time lead to the recognition of the
timeless presence that you are?
 15
Investigating the Mind
Question: I am in Canada. If you know of anyone who speaks about
this kind of thing up here, I would love to know about it. But I doubt
there is anyone out here!
John: I cannot say I have any friends up in your area to refer you to.
The good news is that you have everything you need with you. The
undeniable sense presence of awareness that is with you right now
is all that this is about. You are that. This cannot be denied. There is
really nothing more to know than this.
All that might be left is dealing with the mind. What is the mind that
we are concerned with? It is all the residual habits, doubts, beliefs
and fears that attract our interest. In following those ideas, we
overlook the fact that as that presence-awareness, we are already
free. It is good to understand at a gut level that, in terms of self-
knowledge, there is no real answer of any consequence in the mind.
If you can see this, then look away from the mind and pay it no
attention. If you do not attend to or grasp self-defining thoughts, then
there is nothing to do, fix or know. Thoughts simply pass through,
leaving you as you are—present and aware. This is the essence of
abiding in freedom.
In years past, we imagined ourselves to be separate—a person, a
limited individual. With this concept came separation, loneliness,
doubt and fear. Then the mind went off on quest, gathering all types
of identifications and beliefs to fix this apparent problem. But it never
really worked because the root assumption was not true. Self-
centered problems and suffering are only due to thoughts and ideas
picked up in the years of ignorance. Once you understand what is
happening, how all the trouble arises from unexamined beliefs based
on a false premise, a natural sense of questioning comes in. The
fixation on and attachment to the mind and its contents rapidly
wanes. What keeps us interested in the mind is the belief that what it
is saying is true. A little bit of investigation is enough to undermine
the whole house of cards.
 No matter what the mind thinks, says, or does it is only an
appearance in the bright, clear presence of your true nature. That
remains unaffected at all times. Simply recognize this. The natural
clarity and joy that comes up will make you less and less inclined to
run after thoughts, which only leads to doubt and suffering. As far as
I am concerned, the mind must be investigated and understood.
Otherwise, we will always be in the grip of thoughts, which we still
believe and take to be real.
Q: Right now it is all crystal clear. It is hard to believe it could ever be
obscured. But I have been ‘back and forth' enough times to know
that it does seem to be as you are describing.
John: The ‘back and forth’ experience is an optical illusion, so to
speak. Thoughts come and go in present awareness, which is
always shining. Even when thoughts are not happening, there is a
recognition that thoughts are not happening. This is so simple that
we overlook the obvious. Not seeing this, the focus drifts onto the
story line or content in thought. We pay more attention to the
thoughts than the awareness and then say that the awareness has
gone away. But has it? How can you even be aware of thoughts if
there is no awareness present? This gets pointed out and you stop
for a moment and notice the obvious. Once you see this, ‘getting it
and losing it’ is not possible. You cannot move away from what you
are.
Thoughts coming and going is not problem because they all
appear and disappear in present awareness. You are not a separate
self apart from the reality, which is your true nature, which is present
and brightly aware. Seeing this, the ego-notion, or belief in
individuality, is undercut. The root of all doubts and suffering is
removed. What remains is a life in clarity—a clarity that cannot leave
because it is what you are. You cannot lose yourself under any
circumstances. By looking this way, you immediately come into the
recognition of what you are. Here, recognizing means simply being
what you are and have always been. This is the essence of what is
pointed out. Continue to look into this until it is clear and beyond
doubt. Reality is always closer than your next thought, because each
and every thought arises in inescapable present awareness.
 16
It Is Done
Question: It is done! There is only awareness, not a person. This
makes all the talk of the process of ‘getting it’ meaningless. More
than meaningless—there is nothing there! There is only awareness!
There is no time involved. God! I am sounding like you now, but I get
it. All it took was for you to point me back to the obvious. There are
no layers, rewiring or increments. That was all a fiction. There is only
awareness, and anything else is a story. All of that stuff is just a
fiction –it never was. All of what I was insisting was real, all the
processing and unfolding, is not real. There was an ‘I' trying to hold
onto a pleasant experience, trying to quantify it and make a mental
model of it. That had me enslaved to a thinking self and blind to the
true nature of awareness. There was a whole story about that. But
for whom did the story exist? And who cares? There is nothing there.
It is gone—poof! There is just the awareness that has always been
here! There has never been anything like an asleep person or an
awake person. There is nothing here but awareness now.
I see now that what you pointed out to me that first night—and
what I saw for myself a few days later—is all. At the time, I saw that
it was true, but I did not get that it was all. That is the piece that is
here now. There is nothing but that. Thank you!
John: There is some good seeing shining through there! Remember
that because awareness is all— that you are that and have never
been separate from that—it is not a matter of being done, but only
seeing the ever-present facts that were only overlooked. Sometimes
people get into a ‘now I am done, now I am not’ mode, which can be
a cycle. This is because there is a subtle reference to the ‘I’ that is
done, then not done. The clear seeing of the truth that there is no
person cuts the conceptual loop. Freedom is never in time, but
always in the immediate recognition of present, undeniable being-
awareness, your true nature.
There is nothing wrong with questions or experiences coming up.
Come back to the fact of present freedom and question any contrary
concepts. The answer is here in plain view and ever present.
Everything else is an unfounded concept.
 17
Things Are Free to Flow
Question: Ramana Maharshi used to say ‘Be as you are‘.
Nisargadatta Maharaj advised people to stay in the ‘I am‘. I did not
understand what they meant until now. Of course, as you make
clear, even your own descriptions, such as ‘presence-awareness'
and the ‘natural state‘, can only be pointers to something ultimately
indefinable. There is no need to get hung up on the words.
There is no doubt that the reason why I, like you and so many
others, overlooked this for so long, is that it is so simple and obvious.
I must have had innumerable moments of thought-free ‘presence-
awareness' in my life, but I never thought that they were in any way
special or significant, which of course they are not, really. They are
just our ‘natural state‘. After I first ‘got it‘, a few weeks ago, I tried to
make efforts at times to stay in this state. In practice, this amounted
to turning away from thoughts as soon as I realized that I had been
thinking. But I now realize that this was mistaken. As you say, our
natural state never leaves us, whether it is overlaid by thinking or
not. Any kind of practice brings a subtle reinforcement of the sense
of ‘I‘. It seems that, as you suggest, thoughts gradually diminish of
themselves as they are starved of the customary interest we have
shown them. I find that this is already starting to happen, in fact.
The other side of the coin, of course, is the removal of the false
ideas that I have had about myself. I had been attracted to the
practice of self-inquiry ever since I discovered Ramana Maharshi
some thirty years ago. However, it appeared to me, at the time, to be
a rigorous and very demanding discipline, ideally involving years of
living with a guru in an ashram in India. I did not feel able to desert
my already elderly parents or my full-time career as a lawyer. I
retired from work in 2003, both my parents having meanwhile died.
However, I had by then started reading some of the modern non-
duality literature, and I had begun to wonder whether the pilgrimage
to India was really necessary.
 I had long since been intellectually persuaded that ‘I' was not the
body, thoughts, emotions, sensations or anything else that I could
think of. But I had still thought that there needed to be some kind of
further, sustained self-inquiry beyond that. What I had not realized is
that the ‘I' is simply a fictitious thought. It does not exist. Mind you,
given a lifetime‘s conditioning to believe that I was a person (in fact,
a body), it takes some time for that conditioning to be removed. I find
that constant self-reminders are needed. I sense your objection to
this: I am introducing the concept of time, which is an illusion. I am
again prepared to accept intellectually that time and space, like the
ego, are mental illusions. But unless one is in a permanent state of
‘nirvikalpa samadhi‘, it seems that in practice one has to live with
them! I have some reservations about your statement that ‘there are
no levels of awareness‘, but I do not think that it would help to get
involved in a debate about that. I am sure that you have no desire to
do so, either!
I do have one question. As you will have gathered from the above,
I am quite an intellectual type, given to much thinking. However,
many non-duality teachers, including Ramana Maharshi and
Nisargadatta Maharaj, indicate that thinking is not our natural state.
Maharaj actually speaks of allowing the mind to ‘fast’ or ‘be starved‘.
I will certainly be doing less reading from now on, spiritual or
otherwise, because the search is essentially over. But, as a pastime,
I like doing puzzles, for example, crosswords, Sudoku, chess
problems and so on. Do you think it would help me to give up those,
too? It would not be difficult for me to do so because I am not
addicted to them.
John: Thank you for the detailed and heart-felt letter. I am glad to
hear that the pointers have resonated and played a part to confirm
your own direct experience of ‘the natural state’, which is shining
constantly and always as the presence-awareness that cannot be
denied. Ramana Maharshi used to say that each one is already the
Self, and being the Self, there is no need for any realization as such.
That is what I call the positive side of the coin—the revelation of
what is real, our true nature, which is shining in plain view right from
the start. The dissolution of seeking and suffering through self-
inquiry is a very practical approach to tackle any residual doubts and
questions in the mind by tracing them to the assumed ‘I thought’ or
self-center. This investigation shows that the root thought or
conceptual core of all the imagined bondage cannot be found.
Simply put, there is no separate individual who is the recipient of all
the false, self-centered concepts. In this way, you discover that all
doubts, questions, problems and dilemmas are in relation to a
reference point, the ‘I’, which is itself an unexamined concept.
As far as mental pursuits or other interests—no activity or
undertaking of the body-mind can present a conflict with the
recognition of your true nature. To try to manipulate the appearance
and artificially repress or indulge in activities would only be in
reference to some conceptual position by an individual with some
goal in mind. There is no goal because you are already what you
seek. From this seeing there is only the spontaneous arising of
thoughts, feelings and activities from moment to moment. Let the
body-mind live out its expression in whatever way appears natural to
it. When not encumbered by conceptual, self-centered thought,
things are free to flow and a natural intelligence and compassion are
there. Blueprints, plans and regimens are for the imagined, defective
self who thinks it must do something special to be ‘right’. However,
as you now know, there is no person at all. You are already home—
as that self-shining, presence-awareness that you cannot leave,
even if you try.
 18
One Substance
Question: There have been a number of insights I wanted to share
with you. The most remarkable one is that absolutely all seems to be
made of awareness or consciousness. Everything.
John: This sounds like pure non-duality to me. There are not too
many places to go or problems to have when all is just one
substance!
Q: When I look into present direct experience, I cannot find any
tangible object or experience I can call the mind or the world. What
can be seen is a number of interrelated functions taking place in a
timeless and dimensionless backdrop. There are thoughts but
nothing that can be called a mind. The container of thought is empty,
timeless consciousness itself. The mind as an object exists only
when conceptualized.
John: This is very clear.
Q: The same applies to the body. It does not exist as a static object.
The experience of a body is the result of the operation of the senses
in the moment. Input from the senses gathered into consciousness
from moment to moment makes the ‘body‘. Even the notion of a
succession of moments does not exist in reality. It is a notion only.
The body as an object exists only when conceptualized.
John: Yes.
Q: What is also clear is that there are definite realms in the
manifested consciousness. One is the senses and their
physical/perceptual/sensorial experiences. Another is subtler and is
emotional and connects sentient beings. This realm accounts for my
feeling that ‘John‘, as a sentient being exists even though we are not
in the immediate reach of one another‘s senses. It is a feeling of
another‘s presence as a creature. Then there is the mental realm
which is equal to imagery, conceptualization and language.
John: Anything may arise in the appearance, and yet it is all an
appearance of the one non-dual presence. The difference is in the
appearance, but in essence it is all the oneness itself appearing in
those forms.
Q: The world is nothing but a combination of experience in these
three realms, with an emphasis on one or another. The world is
entirely created in consciousness. The world is the experience of the
world. The world as an object or collection of objects exists only
when conceptualized.
John: Extremely clear!
Q: In the same manner, ‘I' cannot be found as an object. ‘I' as an
object exists only when conceptualized. There is only the stuff
described above and emptiness, emptiness, emptiness—alert and
full-of-life emptiness. In view of all this, the notion of or desire for
enlightenment is absent. When it pops back up in consciousness,
like everything else, it is seen for what it is.
John: All desire or seeking is motivated by a belief that there is
something with a substantial, independent existence. But nothing
really exists apart from the ‘alert and full-of-life emptiness’, as you
call it. Then the mind alights upon no concept whatsoever. Seeing
this, there is peace.
 19
Clarity Does Not Come and Go
Question: Last week there was a very deep and obvious recognition
of this presence-awareness. It was immediate, simple and
undeniable.
John: This is so simple that we can overlook what is being pointed
to. Presence-awareness is happening always. Weren’t you present
and aware all week? This is not an experience, but the background
of any and all experiences.
Question: Shortly after, things happened and I was swamped with
thoughts, intense emotions and issues that I thought were resolved.
It seemed that I was unaware of my true nature during this time! I
was completely in the drama and emotions.
John: It is only the focus of attention going to some old habits. But
did you stop being present or aware? There is nothing wrong with
thoughts going through. Besides, you cannot stop them anyway.
However, if there is belief in them they seem attractive. If not, they
float through effortlessly.
Question: They had their way with me, so to speak. Then yesterday,
suddenly it was over. Peace and clarity are here again. I remember
again who I really am. Whatever that means!
John: The clarity does not come and go. It is not a state. It is the light
of pure presence that is illuminating and supporting all thoughts,
ideas and feelings. When we get wrapped up in thought we overlook
that awareness is what is present and knowing the thoughts!
Question: I was so identified as a person with feelings, needs and
thoughts! I knew that I was much more, but I was not experiencing
that in my day-to-day living. Do you know what I mean?
John: Interest in thoughts and concepts means being interested or
captivated by thoughts of a separate self. That goes on as long as
there is some residual belief that there is such a self. Once you see
that the separate self is a complete fiction, the root of self-centered
thought is severed.
Question: I am not even going to ask if this will ever be a day-to-day
reality. It is what it is, no matter what I think. I know it is useless to
think that the awareness comes in and out of my experience.
John: Verify that it does not come and go. There can be no wavering
in and out of something that is always present.
Question: Is this also something you still experience after
recognizing the truth, I mean being really ‘in' those feelings and
thoughts?
John: You cannot be in feelings and thoughts. You are that
awareness that knows them. They are in you. The residual interest in
them goes on as long the core belief in the existence of the separate
‘I’ has any momentum. What keeps us interested in thoughts and
feelings is the belief that they are true and that they say something
real about who we are. But do they? They are all about an assumed
sense of self. Did you find any actual thing that is the seeming self?
Seeing this mechanism through to the core unwinds the whole
production. Seeing your true nature of present awareness is key, but
also key is seeing that all concepts are built on a self that cannot be
found. This dismantles the belief and interest in self-centered
thought.
 20
The Answer Is Not in the Mind
Question: You wrote: ‘Seeing this mechanism through to the core
unwinds the whole production. Seeing your true nature of present
awareness is key, but also key is seeing that all concepts are built on
a self that cannot be found. This dismantles the belief and interest in
self-centered thought‘. I want to see the mechanism through to the
core, like you said, but is there really anything I can do about this?
Because I do not really exist, ‘I' have no control over this, do I?
John: Set aside the approach of ‘I do not exist, so what can I do?’.
That is only conceptual at this point. If you truly believed there was
nobody there, there would be no one to suffer, to ask a question and
so on. We would not be having this dialogue! That is a trap that
many fall into. Also, the ‘I have no control’ statement misses the
point. It leads to unclear seeing and passivity. I have never seen
anyone making any real headway laboring under these concepts.
They are often asserted without a depth of understanding of the
meaning of the words. See the basics for yourself and be done with
spinning in the mind!
Q: I guess I am struggling with the reality that I already am ‘that‘.
John: You know that you are. This is beyond doubt. Stop there and
be. Start to think of what that means and you step back into thought
and doubt. The answer is not in the mind. You are and you know that
you are. Do not move from this. Do not conceptualize it. First make
sure that the fact of your being as present awareness is clear. We
can get into what it means later. First of all you have to see what is
being pointed out. If you keep jumping back to the mind, you miss
the immediate and non-conceptual recognition of this. You are and
you know you are. Is this clear? Do not think! See this, know this,
feel this without conceptualizing this simple fact.
Q: My daily experience seems to be as a separate person. Any
suggestions? Should I stop thinking about it? Should I question the
concept of a separate self?
John: First and foremost see that all problems, doubts, seeking and
questions are only creations in thought. You cannot stop thinking.
Who would want to? What you need to do is see what is occurring.
At this point, you are jumping at every passing thought and doubt in
the mind, assuming it to be a cogent issue. The first step in
approaching the mind is to see, really see, that all these issues are
passing thoughts. Apart from thoughts, where are these issues?
Once you see that these are only thoughts, not realities, you are in a
position to question whether what the thoughts are saying is even
true or not.
If these points are not clear, you will keep overlooking your true
nature and continue clutching at every random passing thought. The
mind will lead you around like a bull being lead by a ring through its
nose. Why? Because you do not know what you are and you will
take everything the mind says about you to be true. You undoubtedly
are present and aware. Every problem, doubt and issue is nothing
but a thought. Seeing this will dismantle the roots of suffering. See
what you come up with.
 21
Mental Activity Versus Self-Centered
Thinking
Question: So far as mental pursuits are concerned, what you say is
entirely logical and consistent. Mental pursuits of the kind to which I
referred in a previous email (for example, doing crossword puzzles)
are really only ‘self-centered' in the sense that, obviously, it is ‘I' who
am pursuing them.
John: Not really. They are just happening. They are impersonal
activities. They are not self-centered unless they are referenced to
the imagined separate self. If not, they go on quite impersonally, with
no sense of psychological bondage.
Q: I see that they are not self-centered in the sense of being related
to gaining an imagined future advantage of some kind, because the
only goal involved is the solution of the puzzle. When that is
achieved, the puzzle can be forgotten about.
John: This activity is totally benign! The universe, including ‘your’
body is an endless stream of unceasing activity. You cannot stop it,
even if you want to. There is no personal ‘self ’ involved at all.
Q: The following may possibly amuse you. On Saturday, I was
slightly depressed by the thought that there was no practice that I
could follow to help bring about the desired state of permanent
happiness.
John: There is no need to seek for this. Present awareness is
already here. You are that, and there is nothing else needed. Drop
the concept that it is not here!
Q: Shortly before going to bed, I realized that it was foolish to think
like that. Who is there to be depressed, anyhow?
John: Good. See that as a passing thought. If believed in, there are
subsequent thoughts and emotions based on the assumed reality of
it. If it is not believed, there is ever-present, natural ease.
Q: The question seemed to remain, however, of how I was to spend
my time for the rest of my life. It was at least a minute before I
realized that I had again fallen into the same trap! There is no ‘I’
whose time has to be spent, nor, indeed, do ‘I’ have any life of my
own to lead!
John: Excellent, you saw the trap this time.
Q: As you so rightly say, all ‘I' can do is ‘let the body-mind live out its
expression in whatever way appears natural to it‘.
John: Get the ‘I’ completely out of the picture. Now! There is no ‘I’.
There is only spontaneous appearing and functioning. There is no ‘I’
to ‘let’ or ‘not let’. There is only what is appearing right here, right
now in present awareness.
Q: It is not too clear, at present, but we shall see.
John: Set aside conceptual thoughts, assumptions and reference
points and see the natural state. There is only pure presence-
awareness and the spontaneously display of activity that comes up.
Q: Following the same line of thought, it seems that there is really
nothing more to say, for who is there to say it?
John: Ultimately, true. But as long as that appearance of a body-
mind is there, actions and speech will likely arise!
Q: Possibly the time may come when this body-mind mechanism
may be able to experience and communicate thoughts
spontaneously.
John: And how are they going on right now? Are you choosing the
next thought or action? Or are they happening spontaneously?
Remember, nothing new needs to be brought in. It is only seeing
clearly what is and has always been the case. Previously, we saw
‘what is’ through a distorting lens of erroneous concepts.
Q: Perhaps silence is golden?
John: Talking or not, you cannot deny the fact of your present
awareness. You are that whether you talk or not, even whether you
know it or not!
Q: Best wishes. Though from whom to whom?
John: From you to me. But that ‘you’ and ‘me’ are not different in
essence. You cannot get away from oneness!
[follow up.]
Question: Thank you very much for your detailed comments on my
last email. My initial reaction is that I can understand and accept all
your responses, except the one saying that I do, already, experience
and communicate thoughts spontaneously. My communications, in
particular, have always been quite considered, especially written
ones (due to the desire to express myself precisely). In my career as
a lawyer, it would have been very dangerous to give spontaneous
replies to questions! I feel that I am perhaps missing the point here?
I do appreciate your continuing help.
John: Look to see if the next thought that comes up is calculated in
advance or spontaneously appears. This is one way to see that there
is no person or entity in the picture. Thoughts are spontaneous
occurrences. Even the thought ‘I must be careful and not say
anything out of order’ is a spontaneous appearance. It is not by, for
or about someone. It is simply appearing on the screen of
awareness. There is awareness and thoughts arising. There is no
one or nothing else in the picture. Least of all is there a ‘you’ in the
works at all, except as an assumption.
 22
Focusing on Thoughts
Question: I have difficulty feeling the serenity.
John: This is not about feeling serenity. When there is natural resting
as presence-awareness and the focus is off of conceptual thought,
there is a natural peace and everything is perfectly fine as is. There
is no special state that needs to be imported. Nor is this implying that
there is an absence of thinking, feeling or any other activity. Those
all go on quite effortlessly.
Q: I notice that I often think about ego-inflating stories, in order to
feel good.
John: Yes, but does this really work and is it needed? Following the
mind in order to feel good is the age-old pursuit. You have to
determine if it really works and is sustainable. In the end you see
that thoughts are simply appearing and disappearing of themselves.
You are not creating them. Nor is there any ‘you’ present. It is the
belief in the ‘I’ that is the real joker in the pack, not the thoughts
themselves.
Q: Today, I went over the pointers from your meetings and saw how
what I have been doing is focusing on thoughts.
John: We return to the activities or thoughts in an effort to find peace
or happiness. But is that really where happiness lies? Some careful
looking may be helpful. If we happen to find the lasting answer by
believing the thoughts, fine. The question is, though, did we really
find it? Does that approach really work? Part of the motivation for
clear seeing comes from the recognition that the past approaches
may not have worked so well. If we still think they work, we may not
have much motivation to see the pointers. Why do so, if we feel we
already have access to happiness?
Q: As you said, it does not matter so much about the thoughts. They
are movements in the awareness.
John: This is very simple, but true.
Q: My question was not so much about trying not to think, but about
how to focus on the awareness rather than always obsessively trying
to entertain my mind. Of course, we cannot focus on awareness, for
it is not an object. I think that un-focusing a bit from the thoughts and
sensations would be helpful!
John: Excellent insight. But you cannot ‘unfocus from thoughts’ by an
act of will. That is another thought! It is better to simply see what is
happening. Focus or unfocusing are at the mental level. That does
not get to the roots of the matter. We focus on thought because we
are interested in it. Why? What is it about thought that interests us?
And is this interest leading to the understanding we are hoping for?
This is inquiring at a deeper level, rather than at the surface of
things. As long as there is residual belief in thoughts or the prospect
of happiness in them, we return to them.
Q: When I think of Nisargadatta Maharaj and his advice to hold on to
the sense of being, that helps. Have you anything to add?
John: Realize that the natural state is always present. It is not a
matter of focusing on it. It is a fact that cannot be denied. The belief
that the answers are available in the mind keeps us going back for
more! But if we can see that the answer is really not there, we begin
to lose interest in thought, and the understanding opens up. There is
a sense of a relaxation into the clear presence of pure, non-
conceptual knowing. It is so sweet and clear, like fresh water to a
thirsty traveler. As this source is recognized, there is a natural desire
to remain with that, rather then to follow dry, empty thoughts.
 23
Presence-Awareness Needs No Help
Question: I emailed you sometime ago, and I thank you for your
responses. But I need help again.
John: Pure presence-awareness always is. It needs no help because
it is the foundation of everything that is. However, if we believe
ourselves to be apart from that, the mind conjures up the notion of
the separate ‘I’ and the sense of wholeness seems to be divided. But
the separation is only an appearance due to a misunderstanding.
The remedy, as always, is to come back and see the basic facts of
who and what we really are, as opposed to what the mind is telling
us about ourselves.
Q: I seem to be experiencing cycles. One week I feel strongly aware
of my being as presence; the next week I feel lost in thought.
John: This is due to some residual belief in the validity of self-
referencing concepts. Once this is thoroughly questioned, the belief
is snapped and you get out of the mental spin cycle.
Q: I am not sure what triggers the recognition of my nature. For
example, I may read the same pointers. Sometimes they work,
sometimes not.
John: There are likely a few concepts or beliefs not fully seen. It is
hard to get to the core of this in email. It is quicker and easier to talk
in person and cut through to the real issues. I have gone over the
basic mechanism of the origins and roots of suffering and what
keeps it alive in my writings. Have you seen that material? If not,
check it out. Or we can talk in person.
Q: I wonder if you could tell me what has changed for you? Is it that,
instead of looking for yourself as something in the mind, you
constantly see that your presence is not locatable there, yet can be
felt always?
John: Yes. Ultimately, this is what it comes down to. The fact is that
your present awareness, which is what you are, is not confined or
contained in thought, even now. It stands above and beyond and
completely untouched. That is a fact. It is pointed out and seen to be
so. It is the residual interest in thought that keeps us from seeing the
obvious.
Q: Although I can sometimes feel myself as being this ‘no thing' in
which all things appear, this sense of presence, I can never feel
myself as awareness.
John: There is no need to feel it. Feeling is a dualistic experience.
You do not feel awareness. Feelings arise in awareness. If you try to
feel it, you will get tied up.
Q: How can I bring about the realization that I am awareness?
John: Ask yourself if you are present and aware. The answer must
be yes. That recognition is the seeing. This is undeniable and
certain. Be willing to stick on that point and linger for a bit.
Q: How can I feel the truth of it?
John: Here you are stepping back into the mind, looking for
something that you think you do not have. The simplicity of being
present awareness is overlooked and traded in for some idea of
what we think it should be. See this fallacy.
Q: I am gradually more able to be aware of myself as presence. I am
no further on the path of realizing myself as awareness.
John: But you are aware, are you not? This presence that you are, is
it dead, void, inert? Are you not only present but also aware? Aren’t
you knowing all thoughts, feelings and sensations? You say ‘I am
aware of myself as a presence’. That is the awareness itself in
action. Presence and awareness are just pointers to the same
wordless fact of your true nature.
The reason this appears difficult is because what you are is not an
object. Sometimes it is called ‘emptiness’, but it is not a vacuum or a
void. It is simultaneously present and cognizant. You cannot grasp it
and try to pin it down as some thing, some feeling, some experience.
If you do, you will overlook the simplicity of this. Relax and
acknowledge the undeniable fact of presence, which is clear and
brightly aware in you. Release your focus on the mind and
conceptual thought. Relax the attempt to find something that is not
present. Relax in the direct knowing of pure presence-awareness.
Be willing to see what that seeing naturally reveals.
Q: Your help is greatly appreciated. I do not like to sound so
melodramatic, but I truly am sick of the search.
John: Good! Because the search is useless. You already are what
you seek. You do not fully see this nor trust your experience—yet.
But you will.
Q: I know I am what I am seeking, but I cannot feel it.
John: This is a useless impasse. Do not try to feel it. That will turn
presence-awareness into an object, which it cannot be. Out of habit,
you are continuing to search, but the search is now useless because
the answer is present and shining in direct experience. Do not try to
conceptualize it or build it up into an experience. Your true nature is
not a feeling! Leave off all the judgment and thinking. Be with this
without turning it into a concept or imagining it as an experience.
Q: I am bored of seemingly being this pseudo-entity. I want to go
home, which I painfully realize I already am!
John: You are present and aware. This is recognized in immediate
knowing. Apart from a few random thoughts, feelings or sensations
passing through, did you ever find anything that could be a
substantial entity at all? If it is not there, how can you be such a
thing? The belief in an entity goes on because we think it is there. It
needs to be questioned a bit. Then all the belief and concern drops
out of the picture.
Q: How can it be so hard to know what I am?
John: It is not hard. You already know what you are. You are still
following a few concepts in the mind and giving them belief. Ideas
are ideas. In non-conceptual understanding of what you are, they are
worthless. What are ideas but some ripples floating through the
undeniable presence-awareness that you are? See this clearly and
the game is up.
Q: This is exasperating and makes me feel angry, which I know does
not help the cause.
John: Relax and let go the focus on thought. See the truth of the
statement ‘What is wrong with right now if you’re not thinking about
it?’ You are ever-free, ever-clear, whole and complete right here and
right now.
 24
Knowing That You Are Cannot Be
Doubted
Question: I have a sense that thoughts can not be trusted, especially
those that are self critical. But I am having a problem due to the
doubt that I do not understand this. From your talk, it became clear
to me that doubting is only more negative, self-critical thoughts. I see
that.
John: Yes. All of those are only appearances, images arising right in
present clarity. This present clarity is what you are. Knowing that you
are cannot be doubted. Actually, it is irrefutable, because you must
be present and aware to have the doubt. That is the place to take
your stand in order to rise completely above all possible doubts.
Q: I have been experiencing a clarity that is very peaceful. I do not
doubt awareness. However, I notice thought patterns that reoccur.
They still generate feelings. I let them arise but do not hang onto
them. I am starting a new job and sometimes feel concerns rising. I
usually follow my breathing or feel my footsteps, and then I am fine
again. I have been reading ‘Awakening to the Natural State‘. Your
explanations are very clear. Do you have any suggestions on how to
proceed from here?
John: Continue to come back to present clarity and awareness. You
are seeing that the thoughts are only conceptual patterns. To focus
excessively on them creates more thoughts and feelings that
reinforce the seeming problems. However, coming back to the sense
of present awareness takes the belief or emotional attachment out of
them. There is an immediate sense of clarity and freedom when you
see this. Seeing this, there is naturally less inclination to follow
conceptual thought, and you will effortlessly abide in present
awareness. In fact, you are always only that natural state of pure
presence-awareness, but following the habitual thoughts based on
the imagined separate, defective self distracts us away from the
ever-present simplicity of what is here. There is no need to fight
thoughts. Gently return to the simple clear knowing that you are.
Whether or not there are thoughts, you cannot ever separate from
your true nature. Thoughts are only images arising and setting right
in the clarity of presence-awareness.
 25
Communicating with Others
Question: I read your first book about a year ago. But I must have
not been ready to give up the search. Here I am again, and it is very
clear and simple to me now. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted.
There is a growing excitement that feels very deep, very ancient.
John: This sounds right. That is exactly what this is. It is recognizing
something in you that is very simple and clear and has been there all
along. When you start to get a taste of this, it is incredibly exciting
and alive. Your words show me that this is really striking home for
you, not as concepts but something lived and sensed directly.
Q: I am stuck on an issue with my grown children, who are struggling
with some severe health issues. I cannot see how to interact with
them. I feel peace in myself, but not when I talk to them. Can young
people get this too, or is their own suffering their own path as it was
for me?
John: The best approach is to be clear and certain with your own
understanding. This translates as your own sense of clarity and
peace. This cannot be disturbed by people or circumstances. You
ultimately come to see that the only thing that ever disturbs us is our
own thoughts and imagination.
You may or may not talk about this openly, but if that clarity and
peace is there, people will pick up on it. Whether or not they are
interested will depend upon there own readiness and interest. If they
are ready and interested, they will ask about it. If not, they will move
along to wherever they are meant to be. One thing is certain, no one
can prevent you from loving and caring for your children—not even
they can! A very deep and profound type of love is what I would call
self-less love. In this, the care, love and presence are shared in spite
of what anyone else says or does or how they respond. If you love in
this way and do not expect any particular response, your peace
cannot be disturbed. As I see it, the universe has an intelligence and
is guiding each one where he or she needs to be. Remain open to
see what will unfold in each moment, without concern or
prejudgment.
Whatever happens or not, you always remain poised in your real
center. The presence-awareness that you are continues to shine
through all circumstances and outcomes, regardless of what the
mind thinks should be happening. If you align yourself with your true
center instead of the thoughts and judgments in the mind, you
cannot be moved or shaken from your center. Then all is fine as is,
whatever happens. You see through to the deep essence supporting
all appearances. If someone expresses an interest in these subjects,
you can share your own understanding. If the interest is not there,
you rest content knowing that everyone is always that clear presence
of awareness and that they are unaffected by the appearance—
whether they know it or not.
Q: This is what I needed to hear. It is almost as if I needed
permission to be peaceful even when my children are not. I see now
how deeply this center can be ‘held' and how powerful the clarity is
when you say ‘this cannot be disturbed by people or circumstances‘.
I see how I have let these things cover up or hide this presence-
awareness in the past by going into my children‘s stories with them.
It feels so wonderful to have the searching over!
John: You have the basics of this. Everything you need is right there
in that simple presence behind the thought ‘I am’. That is the true
nature that you cannot lose. From there, watch how life unfolds
wonderfully and effortlessly.
 26
Awareness Is the Constant
Background of Experiences
Question: I continue to have moments of shining happiness, several
seconds long. Today, while walking in the alley by a local bookstore,
I felt a flash of amazing sweetness, as if life were a beautiful clear
sea of happiness.
John: As you settle in with the recognition of what is clear and
present in you, you see that this is really the background or container
in which all appearances arise. From the perspective of the mind and
time, it appears as moments. But really, it is thoughts that arise
sporadically and momentarily in and on this pure presence-
awareness. You are catching the ‘fragrance’ of what this is. It is the
recognition of a natural clarity and joy that was previously
overlooked. It may appear as flashes of insight or joy as you notice
it, but as you settle in with this, it is recognized as the natural,
constant background of all appearances.
Q: I continue to look into sensory awareness as a way to de-
emphasize thought and notice presence.
John: In noticing pure, immediate perception, the focus comes off of
the exclusive involvement with conceptual thought. It is only in and
through conceptual thought that problems and suffering are
generated. When the focus is off of it the problems are no more.
Q: I am trying to release my attachment to the memory of these
moments and to cherish the present moment. Of course I cannot do
much about my attachments except note them and whatever else is
going on in the moment.
John: The ‘I’ trying to release is another thought, another mental
concept. It is best to simply see what is occurring and come back to
notice and rest in the pure presence-awareness. Fighting or
manipulating thought keeps you focused on it. To see without an
agenda and rest as the undeniable awareness immediately takes the
steam out of every concept.
 27
The Separate ‘ I’ Is the Root Concept
Question: Once this is truly seen and recognized, what do we do
about all of the things going on in our life, for example, work,
relationships, money and so on? Do they change at all?
John: They might or might not. A key aspect of this approach is
exposing wrong perceptions of ourselves that lead to suffering and
separation. The root concept is the belief in the separate ‘I’, which is
the basis of dualism and self-centered conceptual thinking. With that
understood, the attachments and concerns about who and what we
are, are resolved. Life is free to flow in whatever way it wants to.
Experiences are no longer guided by false beliefs and attachments
based on the belief in the self-center. Nor is there even any concept
of there being a separate self or reference point of ‘me’ in the
picture. Things may go on as before or may change, depending on
the dictates of the situation and the innate intelligence that is running
the show anyhow!
The concern and worry about what ‘I’ should do or not do fades
out of the focus of interest. Life is a spontaneous arising in each
moment. Thoughts, feelings, actions and decisions occur quite
intelligently, but without reference to an imagined self-center.
Anything can arise, but you remain rooted in the clear recognition of
your true nature. Life becomes open, natural and joyous—not
necessarily in an overt way. I am not talking about experiences here,
but a subtle wordless knowing that everything is all right as is. And if
things change, then that is all right, too.
Q: When you talk to other people and they are sharing with you their
problems about life, about their bad marriage or their work situation,
do you personally offer advice regarding their specific situation? Or
do you simply point them to their awareness and avoid giving direct
advice or help in those areas?
John: I have no blueprint at all. I have no idea what to say or why. I
never talk about this subject with someone unless they express an
interest. In general, I tend to point people back to the basic pointers,
unless something specific comes up to say. I do not claim to be an
authority in particular relative situations. My own experience is that
when our identity is clear, everything takes care of itself.
See what your identity is. Then all the doubts and questions come
into perspective. Ultimately, there is no ‘you’ or ‘I’ present to do or
not do anything. See clearly what is true, and let everything flow
naturally from that seeing. Even well-known ‘sages’ have said that
they have no idea what they are going to do or say next, so we can
probably relax about it also!
 28
You Are Not an Appearance in the
Mind
Q: You and others say you cannot reach ‘it’ through the mind.
John: I will stand by this. This is about self-knowledge or knowing
your true nature. What you are is not an appearance in the mind. So
looking in the mind is not effective. That is like looking for a needle in
a haystack when there is no needle in the haystack!
Q: You have also stated that when you are interested in non-dual
books that you are quite close to unfolding.
John: You are neither close nor far away. Right here, right now, the
natural state is shining in plain view. Discard the concepts of
unfolding, awakening or ‘getting it’. They are not needed. Come back
to what is clear and present. Those concepts lead us away from the
immediacy of what is pointed to.
Q: So the mind is not the key to access or understand ‘it‘. That does
make sense. But why do I have such deep resonance with what you
are saying and yet continue to suffer, search and seek?
John: You resonate with this because I am pointing to something
clear and present in you that is already known at some deep,
fundamental level. Suffering goes on as long as the belief in
separation and the attendant self-centered concepts are taken as
true.
Q: There is a deep desperation here, just as you said you
experienced after so much reading and listening to teachers.
John: Bring the investigation back to the root. Clarify the
fundamentals completely so there is no doubt left about who and
what you are.
Q: Do we really have any individual purpose, or is that also part of
the drama of a so-called life?
John: If you must have purpose, I would say that the purpose is to
understand who you are and to discover a life free of suffering
caused by an assumed separation from your true nature. But
‘purpose’ is really a concept created in thought in order to satisfy the
mind. Life needs no purpose. It is. What appears is a spontaneous
manifestation. Life, being, awareness and love do not have a
purpose. They are. In the end, the answer is to resolve your identity.
With the belief in separation removed, there is no need to live
through mental concepts, including the concept of purpose.
Q: You have stated that it is rare, if it does happen at all, for one to
unfold through books.
John: Books are words. Words live in memory. If you pursue the
answer in words, you end up with mind stuff and overlook the root.
There is no unfolding needed. Recognize what is present in you now.
Drop the concept of unfolding and simply see the basics of what I am
pointing to. Unfolding implies a future time and some special
attainment. What I am pointing to has nothing to do with any of that.
Your true nature is now. It is not a state, but an ever-present fact.
This is pointed out. You can verify it for yourself.
Q: What specific questions can I ask or what inquiry can I do, given
the fact most non-dual books, such as yours, claim there is nothing I
can do?
John: I never say this. Many do, but it is an unclear view. See the
basic pointers for yourself. Apply the pointers. See who and what
you are and expose the roots of doubt and suffering. If there is
nothing to do to end seeking and suffering, why talk about all this?
Q: But the doing based on the separate ‘I' is a distraction.
John: Forget the doing or not doing. That is not the problem. As you
are intuiting, the assumed ‘I’ sense is the central concept at the root
of the mind’s problems. That concept thrives because it is taken to
be true, to be your identity. Who and what is this assumed entity?
Can you find it? Is it real? Is this what you really are? This inquiry
unwinds all the doubts and exposes your true state of present clarity.
That is here now of course, but the fixation on conceptual thoughts
turns us away from recognizing what is actually present. In the end,
it is a matter of getting your doubts and questions resolved and
simply abiding in and as the doubtless presence of awareness that
you truly are.
 29
What Are We Looking For?
Question: What are we all really looking for? What is the great
human search for anyway?
John: There are many ways to address this: to find what is true, to
be at peace, to find love, to know God, to know yourself, to resolve
suffering, to end doubt, to find harmony, to end separation. The list
goes on. But these are all saying the same thing. All of these are
fulfilled through knowing the truth of who you are. Enough questions!
Probe into the one thing that can never doubted or questioned—the
fact of your being. You undoubtedly are, as that sense of knowing
presence. That is with you now. Without this there can be no
experiences, questions or anything else for that matter. What is that
knowing presence, that true nature that is with you right now? The
answer cannot be found in the mind through thoughts or concepts. It
is direct, immediate, non-conceptual knowledge.
 30
No ‘ Me’ Left at All
Question: The cloudiness went away when I stopped giving it power.
In the past, I remember feeling that there was this sense of ‘me' I
had to worry about. I had to plan for it and understand it. It stretched
out for miles in either direction, and it was overwhelming. Then that
‘me' started to include less and less as chunks of the past and future
started falling away leaving me with less and less ‘me‘. Finally there
was nothing left but right now, and there was no ‘me' left at all.
John: Everything you need is present for you. There is nothing more
to understand. Every attempt to do so brings you back to the mind
and away from the immediate clarity that is already present.
 31
The Mind Creates All Doubts and
Problems
Question: I think perhaps that we use the word ‘spontaneous' in
slightly different senses. I simply mean ‘unpremeditated‘, but I think
that you mean that thoughts just ‘happen by themselves‘. I can see,
now, that your usage must be correct. If there is no ‘me‘, who can
there be to premeditate or, indeed, think? I agree that I cannot
predict my next thought. Although my thoughts and communications
are shaped and directed by previous thoughts, my conditioning and
my personality, they must actually arise spontaneously. Incredible,
but true! The thought now arises that a period is needed to let the
pointers, this new way of looking at things, sink in.
John: Before the next thought, feeling, emotion or state arises, you
are undeniably present and aware as the one to whom all those
appear. That knowing presence that you are does not come and go.
All the conditioned thoughts will have you looking elsewhere for
some answer that you do not have. But it is the mind that creates all
the doubts, questions and problems. Your true nature is not subject
to doubts. To abide as that is the key point. This is the natural state
that is shining in plain view. It is right here, right now. It is seeing your
true nature as present awareness. Just this, and nothing else.
 32
The Obviousness of ‘ What Is’
Question: Just over a week ago I leaped out of bed in the middle of
the night with the absolute self-evident awareness that there was no
time, that all memories of the past and anticipation of the future are
quite simply thoughts arising right now. I had previously understood
this conceptually, but here it was slapping me in the face with the
obviousness of it. This remained with me. At the same time there
was a sense of a huge implication for something which,
paradoxically, took a couple of days before it too started slapping me
in the face—if the past and future are presently-arising thoughts,
then what am ‘I‘?
Somewhere between those two events, I listened to your song. It
was during a period of immense, gentle, effortless silence on a
peaceful Sunday afternoon while watching the clouds go by.
Everything seemed so appropriate. What followed was a week of life
living itself absolutely effortlessly. There were no worries about time,
just being present, even while being late for work, squabbling with
my family, watching the clouds or enduring a hangover. Things were
also falling away, such that I was not so much discovering things as
noticing what was always there and, equally, realizing what was not
there. I recall looking down at my feet resting on the floor and seeing
the mind call them ‘my feet’ and that what they were resting on was
the ‘not-me' floor. It was absolutely clear that this was an entirely
arbitrary distinction. I tried to write this down at the time, but there is
no meaningful way to describe the utter simplistic obviousness of
‘what is' and of the operation of the conceptualizing or dualizing
thought occurring within ‘this‘.
John: This is all well said, and I cannot add anything. This is the way
things are. At some point, it is simply seen. Once you see this, you
can never go back to the old view with any force or sustained belief.
However, the old mental views, out of habit, may arise. These are
the residual doubts, beliefs and assumptions based on duality and
belief in separation. If we put these lenses back on by believing and
focusing on the thoughts and taking them to be real, we overlook the
clear seeing of what is. Once you get a sense of the clear
perspective and realize that the duality is driven by old, unexamined
concepts picked up in years of not knowing any better, a natural
intelligence arises that pulls the energy of belief out of the
conceptual mechanism.
Q: Yes. Unfortunately, the ‘I' appears to have returned this week, as
if a large and persistent cloud squatting on the horizon. I am
currently feeling something of a sense of loss for, ironically, ‘nothing‘.
The old pattern of trying to attain or grasp that which has been seen
to be unattainable and ungraspable by ‘me' has re-established itself!
What occurred is now something in memory. The treadmill of trying
to regain ‘it’ has heaved into motion with all its inherent friction and
utter pointlessness.
John: The best approach at this juncture is to clearly understand
what is happening. I was cycling through this kind of thing for years.
However, things cleared up quickly when I at last understood the
mechanism, so to speak, of what was occurring. Presence,
awareness, or whatever you want to call it, has not gone anywhere.
You are the same now as last week. Nothing has changed. The
experience of separation, individuality or ‘me’ and the attendant flow
of self-centered ideas and experiences is a chain of conceptual
thought based on an assumption of separation. Apart from those
thoughts, there is really nothing going on! You have not changed.
The nature of what is has not changed. All is as it was and has
always been. The erroneous thoughts are taken as true and some
focus goes into them. That is all.
At some point with this, there is a recognition that the ‘me’ and me-
related thoughts are simply creations in the mind. Being clearly
aware that the whole affair is a production in thought undercuts the
beliefs. Ultimately, the seeing dawns that all the thoughts are based
on the belief in a separate person. On investigation the separate
person is found to be absent. In other words, the whole
superstructure is based on an assumed person that was never there!
Yet presence is, awareness is, your true nature is—and this is
undeniable. These kinds of things are pointed out in various ways
and that natural intelligence in you resonates. You then have a look
and see it for yourself. There are many ways to phrase all this. It
gets down to seeing what is true about yourself along with, as
needed, questioning the false beliefs about ourselves that we have
taken as true.
Q: I am planning to attend the talks of a certain teacher. It is a four or
five hour drive from here, but reading about your own much longer
journey ‘down under‘, I sense that any apparent obstacles to the
journey are trivial in the extreme. This is especially clear when I
realize that I once again may see that any further journeys are
needless.
John: Remember, we are not talking about an event in the future.
You are present and aware now. All the concepts and beliefs based
on apparent dualism are arising right here and now in present
awareness. In no way are you ever separate or apart from presence,
even if the mind says otherwise. It is simply not true. This is not
about going anywhere or getting anything that is not already clearly
present.
 33
Self-Centered Stories
Question: I had a great experience on Saturday morning. Wrestling
with several emotional issues, I decided to be with the feelings in my
body. I happened to have a stomachache. All of a sudden, the
emotional-mental component vanished. I no longer had those issues.
My stomach immediately felt better. All I did was tune in to the body
with the intention of feeling my emotions.
John: Tuning into immediate sensations of the world or the body is a
useful way to take the exclusive focus out of conceptual thought.
This is another clue that getting focused in the mind leads us to
overlook problem-free, natural presence-awareness. Notice that
whether you are wrapped up in the mind or not, you still exist and
are clearly present and aware. Your natural identity is not related to
the contents of the mind. We get involved in thought because we
take it to either describe or contain our true nature. But it does
neither.
As this sinks in, the interest in the self-centered stories in the mind
wanes considerably, and the natural openness of presence-
awareness shines. Your true nature is natural, effortless presence,
which has no problems. It is innately free of psychological suffering.
It is not an emotional state. It is not something to wait for in the
future. It is the ever-present basis on which all sensations, thoughts
and feelings appear. How can there be anything at all without the
presence of awareness? This is shining at all times and cannot be
doubted.
 34
Emptiness and Nothingness
Question: You and others have written that the only thing we can
know for certain is that we exist. Yes, that makes sense! But I get
confused when I try to understand that the ego is a fiction. That
seems to suggest we do not exist, much less know anything for
certain.
John: We both exist and do not exist. We exist as that undeniable
and very clear presence of awareness. However, the image or mind-
created entity, which we have taken to be who we are, is not who we
actually are. In fact, there is nothing observable that is our essential
nature. We undoubtedly are something, but in terms of the
appearance, or objectively, we are not findable as any particular
thing. That is where the notion of emptiness or ‘nothingness’ comes
in. Your true nature is present and cognizant but utterly clear and
empty by nature. From another angle, everything that appears is not
separate from awareness, so you could say that the essence of
everything is your essence also. This naturally might lead you to say
‘I am everything that appears’, which is also true. But the separate
entity that we may have taken ourselves to be is not findable. It is
only a notion. It has only an assumed existence. If we think it is
present, did we ever actually find it?
Q: My second question is about suffering. There is the intensity of
life‘s apparent suffering, the ravages of cancer, the bloody carnage
of a fierce battle, sexual and physical abuse and so on.
John: What you are describing is pain, which is very different from
psychological suffering based on the belief in a limited entity. Be
clear on this point.
Q: Do those things create the sense of going ‘back and forth'
between awareness and the illusory me?
John: No. The appearances are not the determining factor in the
experience of suffering. Suffering is only an appearance in the mind.
The only thing that ever causes suffering is our own imagination, not
bare events.
Q: But if you have just had a minor argument with a friend, it seems
like it would be a lot easier to return to being conscious of awareness
than if you are going through massive physical pain. Does the pain
pull you into the ego‘s realm, or, just the opposite, does it act as a
beloved reminder? Maybe it depends on one‘s level of
understanding?
John: There is a confusion here. There is no returning to awareness
and no one to return to it. You are ever and always pure knowing
itself. This is the sword that cuts the Gordian knot of conceptual
confusion and doubt. Everything that appears, appears on the
support of presence-awareness. You are that presence-awareness.
The ego is imaginary. All the subsequent concepts are imagined.
There is no real ‘ego’s realm’. The mind is imagining separation and
bondage where there is none actually present.
 35
What You Are and What You Are Not
Question: I find it difficult to get beyond the concept that there is no
separate person. Naturally, I do not walk around saying the words ‘I
am a separate person' all the time.
John: Yes, and when you are not saying these words, you do not fall
apart. You do not lose your being. So those words are not what you
are.
Q: But the body that is with me everywhere, the separate thoughts
that relate to that body and the circumstances surrounding it make it
seem that there is a separateness that defines me.
John: First, the body aspect. In direct evidence the body is, like
everything, an appearance in awareness. The classic identification is
that ‘I am the body’. But this is a learned concept.
Q: If I look for the character Jane, I do not locate one.
John: Precisely.
Q: However, I do find a collection of thoughts and sensations that
seem unique to what I have called Jane for all these years. Is this
not a person?
John: The seeming person is a collection of memories and ideas, but
other than those, there is nothing substantial or enduring at all. It is
like the wrappings of a mummy. But in this case, you strip away the
bandages and there is nothing present at the center. All the thoughts
and identities are memories about someone. But other than the
ideas, there is really no one present, except as an assumption. So,
to your point, the apparent person is a collection of memories. But
there is no substantial entity or thing to whom they refer. It is a self-
referencing mechanism without any self. Seeing that is enough to
dismantle the whole conceptual façade. You are not really
contradicting what I am saying but rather confirming it!
 More importantly, even granting the existence of thoughts and
memories in the mind, are you a collection of ideas and memories?
Ideas, images and memories appear and disappear, but you are
none of those things. None of those are your abiding essence. They
are appearances to you. You are aware of those things. Sometimes
they are present in awareness, sometimes not. But there is an
undeniable sense of being or presence that is entirely unrelated to
specific ideas, identifications and memories.
Q: I can understand how this might be a habitual response that I fall
into because of years of misguided thinking, but it still feels real.
John: A mirage looks real. But it is an appearance. There is no
denying the appearance and the assumption that is real. But you can
investigate it to see if it is, in fact, real. Of course, we assume we are
separate persons. Of course, we assume that this perception is real.
Of course, we live under the belief that we are a limited, separate
being apart from the source. But this is precisely what is pointed out
as an illusion. A careful examination shows that all psychological
doubt and suffering is rooted in the assumed limited, defective self.
This is the core insight of many great spiritual traditions. Each of us,
in our own way, is called upon to verify whether these findings are
true or not. I would suggest that if this belief continues unquestioned,
suffering is the inevitable result.
Q: Trying to understand the absence of a ‘me' feels like a movement
of the mind, rather than a true understanding.
John: Good. This should not be a mental operation at all, so it is
good to see that. Otherwise, this all becomes dry words. That is why
the seeing of your true nature is a key part of this. Is your present
awareness a theory or a fact? This cannot be known in the mind. It is
completely non-conceptual and immediate understanding.
Q: There is also a feeling that I must do some sort of practice to let
this sink in. After all, there have been thirty-five years of seeking and
clinging on tenaciously to my identity!
John: Who is to do a practice? Practice is done by an assumed
someone trying to get somewhere. Once you launch off on that, the
very ideas you are trying to question are assumed to be real. Without
a belief in an ‘I’ that is separate and incomplete, there is no need for
any practice. That is why practices tend to reinforce the very thing
they are trying to expose. Practice does not get at the roots of the
issue. It does not address the fundamental cause. That is why after
years, we still cycle in this stuff. The root of the problem is a
conceptual error, a wrong belief, in other words, ignorance.
Ignorance is not eradicated through practice, but through knowledge.
At best, practices are a palliative that may suppress the symptoms of
ignorance but will definitely not yield a cure. That is why people
taking that route are often still suffering decades later.
Q: Sometimes I just sit and allow things to arise. But I find that the
thoughts take over, even if it is trying to control the thoughts through
meditation or concentration techniques.
John: Exactly. The proof is in the pudding. The roots of the whole
mechanism are still active and driving the conceptual framework,
along with the residual belief in it.
Q: Sometimes I ponder the pointers. If I am gentle, this can feel
okay. But doing nothing goes strongly against the grain of my intense
desire to be free.
John: I do not believe in ‘doing nothing’. This is not the message of
non-duality. Some people think so, but this is a mistaken view. I
advocate clear seeing. The non-dual pointers demand a very clear
and penetrating investigation of things. It is not intellectual
philosophy at all. It is a first-hand verification, based on one’s own
direct experience, to see what is true and undeniable about
ourselves. In conjunction with this is the exposing of false concepts,
which we have believed without proof. This often occurs in the
context of living dialogue. Book reading is rarely sufficient. Email is a
pale attempt to do this. Talking on the phone or in person is better for
most of us. For most of us, there is a strong habit to follow this stuff
in the mind. But experience shows the results are marginal. The
mind has very little value in all this. It is the wrong tool.
You know that you are. Thoughts, feelings and sensations come
and go. You remain. This is a fact. It is not a theory. The essential
pointing is directly to that undeniable presence of awareness that
you are. Make that the focus of your consideration and all the other
pointers make much more sense. If you overlook that, it all becomes
mental speculation and dry theory. Your existence is not a theory.
Verify these points to your full satisfaction. Do not take any of them
on blind faith.
 36
Recognizing Things in Awareness
Question: I read a few pages of your book every day to get the
pointers on a consistent basis. I noticed that in all the books on non
duality, few of them mention anything about vision. Last October I
experienced a day where I saw nature in such clearness and purity.
It came and went, but now it is very consistent in my everyday life. I
do not notice the clear vision much until I go outside and look at the
trees. Then I can see and feel their aliveness jump right out, as if
another dimension has been added. At other times I get carried
away by thought and dullness takes over. Has anybody ever
mentioned something like this to you? I figure this is one of the
byproducts of non-separation. Perhaps it is activated by a raise in
vibrational frequency?
John: When the focus drops out of exclusive identification with
conceptual thought there is more space available to recognize other
things going on in awareness. This includes sensing, noticing the
body, noticing people and things and so on. Often, what is being
perceived by the senses seems more clear and vivid. Awareness is
incredibly alive, bright, clear and intense by nature. It radiates its
living light on everything that appears within it. This becomes
apparent when there is less fixation on thinking.
 37
Flip-Flopping
Question: I still seem to be flip-flopping with all of this. The ups are
very up and the downs are very down. I feel very constricted and
frustrated. But it occurred to me today that the basis of the problem
is the feeling of being in something called a body that is in a
universe. This sense of containment is the cause of the feeling of
being limited and bound by time and space and a victim to events.
For most of my life this feeling of being inside a body in a universe
has perplexed and frustrated me. Today it became very clear. Life is
not the problem! But feeling as if I am inside life creates loads of
problems and frustrations. I have never been able to get my head
around the ‘fact’ of being in here! Assuming that I am in here has led
to all kinds of effort at developing, improving, progressing and so on.
Today it was clear that this conflict-filled life will never end as long
as I believe I am in something such as a body or a universe. In other
words, it seems that everything is fine just as long as I am not inside
of anything. Without that there is a lot of space and acceptance.
Does this make any sense? I hope so! I guess whatever the
thoughts may be, if they provide a feeling of peace they cannot be
bad!
John: As many people have pointed out over the ages, the thought ‘I
am this body’ is one of the main concepts at the root of suffering.
This could also be phrased as ‘I am in the body’. This notion is
uncomfortable and awkward because it is not true. Awareness, your
real nature, is not encased or cooped up in a body. Go by immediate
experience and see that the body and all else arise as appearances
within your nature of awareness. This brings things into clear view
right away, and the tension and conflict dissolve. The presence of
the body as such is not an issue. If you are not conceptualizing
about it, all is clear, peaceful and fine as is, body or no body. As
usual, it is the concept in the mind and the subsequent belief in it
that is the source of the conflict. Even the concept appearing in mind
is powerless. It is a mere thought passing through awareness.
Awareness does not change its nature. You are that awareness. It is
only the belief in the thought that is troublesome. The thought is
believed because it is assumed as true. However, questioning that
concept exposes its falseness. Then you no longer believe it. The
freedom is right there, immediately in that seeing.
 38
Pause Thought and Simply Be
Question: It occurred to me that knowing more or accumulating more
is going in the wrong direction. I reflected back to what you have
often said—that we really do not know much at all beyond our
natural state. Seeing the futility of trying to know things and then
giving up the knowing stops this sense of awkwardness and conflict,
right? I mean, our natural state of aliveness is not going anywhere.
What is coming and going are the ups and downs, the ‘now I get it’
and ‘now I don‘t‘. When things seem to make sense and feel nice
this is not any different from when things feel all wrong. Both states
are made of beliefs, either fitting together nicely or jarring with each
other. It is, as you say, all in the believing. Believing leads to holding
onto things and trying to maintain a fixed understanding. I guess it is
just seeing that believing in any statement is unnecessary, because
we already have what we need—our constant natural state.
John: Yes. It is not about getting or not getting anything. What is, is
undeniable present awareness. Everything appears within that. It is
all an expression within that. You are what you are. All ideas about
what we are, are only more ideas. To attempt to pin anything down in
the mind is futile. Your natural being is not contained or even known
by the mind. Basically, the answer is not in the mind. Seeing this,
you stop looking for an answer where it will not be found. You are
present and aware. Pause thought and simply be. Notice that there
is nothing wrong. There are no problems or suffering unless you are
thinking about them. So the mind is creating all problems. They are
all imaginary. Seeing this, you stop chasing thoughts and concepts in
the mind. You relax, knowing that you cannot be anything but that
presence-awareness. That is incredibly clear, vivid, alive and open.
What you are looking for is contained right in this immediate
awareness that you are. Everything appears and disappears in
present awareness. It has no independent existence apart from this.
So it must be, in the end, only that. That is non-duality. What is
wrong if you are not conceiving it to be wrong? All is that. You are
that. Everything else is an unfounded concept that falls to pieces
when you look at it.
 39
There Is No Realization
Question: Through reading various books I reached the conclusion
that observation without evaluation is key for realization.
John: First of all, there is no realization. Because there is no
realization, no technique or process is needed. There is only a
confusion because we do not see clearly what we are. This means
that we are already what we are. Nothing new is brought in. The key
is not some new attainment, but simply clarifying what our real
nature is. The mistaken identity is what is driving all the doubts and
confusion. From the position of imagined separation, the mind
generates a lot of dualistic, self-referencing concepts. Then we view
the world through those dualistic concepts, judgments and
evaluations. But these are the effects of the deeper cause. My
suggestion is to tackle the issue at the core.
There are many ways to talk about this. Pure seeing or knowing is
prior to the conceptual filters. Coming back to pure, non-conceptual
seeing or knowing reveals life outside of the conceptual boxes.
Experiencing life beyond belief in self-centered, dualistic thinking is
natural and effortless freedom. The truth is that your nature of
presence-awareness is already outside of concepts. In recognizing
that, you stand free of the assumed conceptual bondage.
Q: Until I read your books, I believed that I should recondition my
thoughts to be ‘non-evaluative‘. Now I am seeing that I may have
had the right idea but the wrong perspective.
John: Reconditioning the mind is much too involved in the
appearance. Nothing needs to change. Just see what is going on.
That seeing is enough to dismantle any residual belief in the
separate self and the concepts built on that notion.
Q: Perhaps observation without evaluation means observing the
conditioned thoughts that arise without becoming attached to those
thoughts?
John: The thoughts are not really where the problem lies. Why pay
so much attention to mere passing thoughts? This is about self-
knowledge, not studying the mind. Remember, the answer is not in
the mind. Who or what is aware of the mind? That is the essence.
There is an undeniable presence that is both existent and aware,
that is cognizing the mind and all else. That is what you are. That
has nothing to do with mind, body or world. All those come and go,
but you, as that presence-awareness, remain. This is not about
changing the mind. Simply see that the mind is an appearance, a
shadow subsisting on a deeper presence. Not noting this, we are
looking for answers in the content of the mind. Let the mind be. It is
fine for dealing with appearances. You are not an appearance, and
so the mind is not the right tool for self-knowledge.
Q: For those who have not realized their true nature as the
substratum of thoughts, feeling and memories—wouldn‘t it be better
to live with others who, though perhaps not fully realized, had at
least pacified their egos to a degree through reconditioning thought?
John: Do not build this up into some grand concept of people who
have ‘it’! There is only one true nature and it is shining right within
you. You are that. It does not reside ‘out there’, much less are there
special beings who have it, which always implies that we do not!
Recognize and abide as the true nature that you are. Get to know
yourself. Live with yourself. Do not follow thoughts and concepts in
the mind about a person, the seeming ‘you’, and attend to that while
overlooking your true nature. All anyone could possibly do by way of
help is to point you back to the fact that the one thing to know is your
own present awareness.
Q: Gandhi did not seem to me to have been enlightened, but through
strong convictions and will power he was able to act ‘as if‘.
John: Gandhi, like everyone and everything, is only that presence-
awareness, so why the need to act ‘as if ’? It is only one who
imagines himself to be separate who needs to act ‘as if ’. But tell me,
are you really a separate person apart from presence-awareness?
This is what needs to be verified. All the problems come from this
assumption.
Q: Please forgive me if these questions sound strange to you!
John: All questions are based on the assumption that we exist as
separate, limited beings apart from reality. That notion is what is
strange! All actions, questions, assertions and so on tend to miss the
essence until this core assumption is examined to see if it is even
true.
 40
Love, Joy, Peace and Happiness
Question: I have been interested in an energetic transmission called
‘deeksha‘. I have to admit that I am enjoying it. I try to look at it as an
interesting experience with no one claiming it. I experience it like I do
other emotions. It is just energy without a story of enlightenment or
awakening. It is an enjoyable experience!
John: Enjoy whatever comes up. There can be no deeksha apart
from presence-awareness. It is yet another passing experience. As it
comes, it goes. You remain. Love, joy, peace and happiness are
other terms for being and awareness. They are not separate
experiences. If happiness is imagined to be something apart from us,
then we will naturally be drawn to those sources we imagine
providing happiness. Clear seeing comes in and exposes this as
well. Then you see that happiness and joy never come from
experiences, but are an emanation of your true nature.
Happiness and joy are the feeling, so to speak, of presence-
awareness. From the position of the mind, your true nature looks like
awareness. From the position of changing appearances, it is the
sense of presence or existence. From the position of the heart or
feeling, it is love. All happiness, joy and love reside in you.
Metaphorically, this is termed your ‘heart’. Happiness is only ever felt
within you, not outside. There is really no joy or happiness in
experiences, objects or events. That is a total impossibility because
happiness is not an object. It is only ever felt within. There is only
one thing that is within, and that is your true nature. This is
existence, awareness and happiness or peace. Happiness is not
talked about much because it comes in automatically with the
recognition of you true nature of awareness. Just as awareness is
free and unbounded, so is love or happiness. It is a profound peace,
joy and happiness. That is why deeksha may lose its charm
ultimately. The joy promised cannot really compare to what is
recognized in the clear, immediate recognition of presence-
awareness. The joy obtained from those things is not even coming
from those things, but is only a reflection from the actual source
within ourselves.
 41
Your Awareness Is Not in a Book
Question: I bought your second book and was very surprised to read
in it that you feel reading books will not result in awakening. You
might have written this at the beginning of your first book. Then I
would have known not to bother buying it! This approach is hardly
helpful. I have only recently come across these pointers to
awareness, having reached the age of seventy-three and being a
Methodist preacher. I thought that at last I had found the answer.
Now I am not so sure.
John: The point is that your true nature is not contained in any book.
The books appear in your awareness. It is not saying that
understanding is not available, because it is most definitely so. But,
as you cannot drink water from the map of a lake, neither can you
recognize your true nature by reading about it in a book. The words
are pointers. Follow the pointers and recognize that what you are
seeking is your own nature. That is clear and present as the
undeniable sense of being and awareness that enables you to say ‘I
know I am’. The words ‘I know I am’ are not you. You are present as
that which is knowing the words and all else.
The point made in the book is that the answer is your own being.
Recognize that and all the answers are right there for you. The
purpose of my statements was to put the book into proper
perspective so you would observe or discover what the book is
pointing to. That is all. Of course reading books will not result in
knowing your true nature any more than reading a menu will fill your
belly with real food. The best pointer, in my view, is through living
contact. In absence of that, a book can be a resource. It can tell you
where to look, but you must do the looking.
[Follow up.]
Q: Thank you very much. Things are much clearer now!
John: I am glad to hear that that particular doubt is behind you! Let
my book and any other you might read simply be a reminder of that
clear and solid presence of awareness within you. Make that your
anchor and your foundation. Come back to a clear recognition of
who and what you are. What you are is the undeniable sense of
knowing presence that is aware of all thoughts, objects and
experiences. That is not a body, mind or object. It is the inner light or
spirit in you. The body constantly changes, but your being remains
clear and bright and has not changed throughout life. The body
appears and disappears in the light of your true nature. The universe
arises and sets in that awareness that you are. The awareness in
you is the light of the world, because it is only in the light of
presence-awareness that the world arises. Saints and sages
throughout history have found their true nature to be that one light.
You, too, are that light. You are not separate or different from those
beings, because the divine is one and shines alike in everyone as
their own true self.
 42
Life Flows Effortlessly
Question: I feel more at ease now with the pointers. We live in an
intelligent universe that responds fluidly in laying out our life. Only
the imaginary separate self hinders that by focusing on resistant
thoughts. Once the phantom self is seen for what it is, then life flows
effortlessly. Seeing this, it is good to be alive!
John: You have a good, solid resonance with the basics of this. Trust
in your own seeing of what you know to be true. The recognition of
presence-awareness is clear for you. Let that be your touchstone.
That is the undeniable and constant presence of your true nature.
Before the mind arises, you already are. The closest the mind can
come to this is the thought ‘I am’. Yet that thought is not what you
are, because you are there whether or not that thought is present. All
thoughts, feelings and objects appear in this that you are. Without
presence-awareness, nothing is. Presence-awareness is naturally
and effortlessly present as the pure sense of knowing that shines
constantly behind the thought ‘I am’. Everything else the mind says
about you is an erroneous concept, a false belief. See thoughts as
mere thoughts and there can be no suffering or bondage. Awareness
is ever-present and ever free.
 43
The Game Is Up
Question: There is now a frequent, spontaneous movement from
appearances back to awareness, to ‘no thing‘. There is an arising of
joy in that. It is uncaused joy, the joy of being, of recognizing my true
nature. Maybe it has something to do with the deeksha (energetic
transmission) I have received from a group I am involved with.
Perhaps it is happening on it is own and I give deeksha the credit.
There are other experiences, too. They are nothing particularly
amazing. I do not associate them with my true nature. I keep
remembering all the experiences Nisargadatta Maharaj said he had,
but he kept ignoring them and returning to the source of those
appearances. I try very hard not to lose sight of this.
I was corresponding with a teacher who pointed out that
awakening was not what I wanted it to be. At first I thought it was,
and then there was a strange dissociation with no joy. She
experienced that as well. That is when you have seen the emptiness
but not the fullness yet. She believes that there is awakening and
then in six months you finally see it. That is what happened with her
and some others. They all got a little crazy in between, and the
renewed suffering brought them back. The woman I am
corresponding with seems to have the same belief—that the final
seeing comes after the suffering reappears. I do not think there are
any rules to this. You tend to teach whatever your experience was.
That is not to say I will not go back into suffering, but it is not a
driving force at the moment. I guess there is nothing left to do but
stay focused on the source of all this and watch it play itself out.
What a crazy ride!
John: All of the talk of awakening, how it works, how it works for
some and so forth is more mind stuff to be seen through and
dropped. It keeps the conceptual mind on the boil looking for one
more event, one more confirmation, one more reason to stay
engaged in the drama! This is not a matter of beliefs and peoples’
experiences and how it worked for them, however great or famous
they may appear to the mind. At some point with all this, it will hit you
between the eyes—the game is up. There are no more reasons, no
more ‘what ifs’, no more dependencies, no more future time, no
more comparison with others, no more projections of happiness on
situations or circumstances. You are ever and always that presence-
awareness. Here and now it is totally full to the brim with all the
peace and uncaused joy you can ever want. Seeking joy in
circumstances and events is innocent enough, but it is due to
confusion—like seeing the moonlight and thinking the light comes
from the moon. That basic error keeps us on the move, chasing
experiences, emotional states, relationships that promise love and all
the rest. At some point we see that all the life, joy, light and love is
coming from the true nature itself.
A few of the false concepts that keep us stringing along are the
belief in a special awakening and the idea of getting some happiness
that we imagine is not present. Then there is the belief that special
ones ‘out there’ have ‘it’. If you look deeply into all these ideas, you
will see they are all flawed. However, they keep the mind on the hunt
looking for something new and different and thinking we are not
there. The truth is that ‘you’, under those conditions, will never, ever
get ‘there’. However, you will at some point question those beliefs
and they will lose their grip. Then you will realize that you, as a
separate one, are not even there, and that there is nowhere to go
and nothing to get.
You have already seen everything there is to see. However, there
is some doubt or lack of confidence in that seeing, so there is an
inclination to take a spin back into the mind in case there might be
something there! As long as the notion is present that happiness
derives from an experience, the mind is caught in a duality. Our
concept has been to separate happiness or joy from what we are.
Who would be interested in knowing their true nature if there were no
joy in it! Of course one goes off searching for experiences in that
case.
The idea that one recognizes one’s true nature but there is no
happiness in that recognition needs to come under some inspection.
We are so habituated to associating happiness with experiences that
we overlook it outside of that context. This demands some deeper
inquiry and consideration. Most people associate happiness with
experiences and, of course, run after experiences in hopes of
attaining happiness. Like I said, that is like searching for light on the
moon. There is no light on the moon. The light is only a reflection of
the source. Until this is realized, the clear and steady recognition of
our true nature is not possible because we cannot sit still long
enough, so to speak, to recognize it. The mind will produce another
tantalizing thought and we are off to the races chasing the next book,
teacher, fad or whatever it is.
You have the means within yourself to see through this game of
the mind and understand that what you are seeking is what you
already are. Then the seeking ends and you remain as you are.
There is a clear knowing of that. It is not a grand realization or
awakening, just knowing and being what you are here and now. The
point is this. Cease to follow the thoughts and beliefs in the mind and
—here and now—you abide as that one true nature. It is full with
clarity and happiness beyond measure. No experience in the world
compares to the direct seeing and knowing of your true nature. It is
like the difference between a painted sun and the actual sun. You
are the sun of suns, pure presence-awareness itself.
 44
The End of the Story
Question: Another series of ‘looking elsewhere and into the future for
what I am' seizures have ended. That kind of activity can go on
forever, as you well know. I am fed up with that game. If that
conversation starts up in consciousness again, it is more endless
promises that will never pan out. What I am looking for is here now.
What is this ‘I' that is looking but another movement in
consciousness? I was reporting this to a friend last night and she
said it is a process for her. I saw that that word ‘process' is very
tricky. It seems like a process in time, but the mind can latch onto
that and run for months, years, lifetimes so that the sense of
separation has an excuse to continue. What is this ‘process'
happening in? This light of awareness. Then the mind can get
embarrassed about what a fool it has been. That is a good one. It is
only more fuel for continuing the search. Whatever is done, or not
done, is done in this presence. That is the end of the story. The
focus can return to what is already and always here. In realizing that,
whatever arises is seen from that ground of awareness, not from
what is changing or deepening. What is deepening is deepening in
what we are. And what we are has no future.
John: You are sharing some very clear insights here. I was chasing
the future and waiting for experiences for years, until it got pointed
out to me that time is a mental concept and no experience lasts. To
put it in other terms, there is no ‘enlightenment’ in the future. This is
one of those ‘full stop’ propositions that drops the mind dead in its
tracks. Even enlightenment itself is a concept because you are
walking around in full, present, alive presence-awareness all day
long. In no way can you seriously maintain you are separate from
this. That is the essence of it.
Then what happens? The whole house of cards simply collapses.
The bottom falls out because every concept in the mind is only an
idea arising in present awareness. They are all based on the idea
that you are not yet there. Who? Where? Exposing that false idea
immediately invalidates every other concept built upon it. You remain
marvelously present, aware, alive—and it is so effortless and natural.
When the focus goes out of the mind stuff, the ever-present clarity
and joy of life are there, like the sun peaking out from behind the
parting clouds. That clarity stays with you because it is your real
nature. You cannot get out of who and what you are, even if you try.
You cannot move away from what you are. How can you? At most,
the mind can say ‘I am not there’. But what is that except another
thought based on imagined separation? See it as a thought and the
ever-present presence is right there as plain as day.
 45
Awareness and Seeing
Question: This is a picayune mind question, but it seems to persist.
As I walk about during the day, there is a sporadic sense that
awareness is all there is, that there is this all-encompassing seeing
going on.
John: Keep it direct and simple. All throughout the day, awareness
is. All sensing, thinking, feeling, knowing and acting requires the
presence of awareness. It is not a mystic state, but a necessary fact.
Can you have any thought, perception or feeling without it being
registered in awareness? That is what this is pointing to. No shifts or
insights are needed.
Q: From time to time, thoughts come in.
John: In the awareness itself, correct?
Q: If I am gentle with the thoughts and do not take them seriously,
they usually fade in intensity.
John: In actual experience, thoughts only last for a split second and
disappear. That is why it is sometimes said that thoughts are self-
liberating. There is no need to do anything with them because they
do not last long enough for you to be able do anything with them.
Q: I think, however, that I have made the mistake of turning the
concept of seeing into something linked to visual phenomena.
Perhaps I have read passages depicting something taking it all in,
seeing everything even when the thoughts come in. When I close my
eyes, it seems impossible to have the same sense of awareness,
particularly of seeing. Intellectually, I grasp the idea that if awareness
is all there is, then seeing is still going on. But the concept does not
resonate. The mind cannot take it in. I imagine you responding
‘relax, the mind cannot and never will understand‘!
John: Do not link awareness only to seeing. That is too limiting. All
the senses, feelings and thoughts are registered or known due to the
fact that you are present and aware. Do not consider awareness to
be some special state of seeing. It is the everyday, ordinary sense of
awareness. That knowing presence is registering your thoughts,
feelings and sensations right now. That knowing presence is what
you are.
Q: I was hung up on the words ‘awareness' and ‘seeing‘. Do you
think substituting the word ‘all-ness' for ‘awareness' or asking myself
‘who is this that is trying so hard to figure it all out?' would be a better
way to approach it?
John: You are overcomplicating things. As I said, it is not a special
seeing at all. It is simply the fact of present awareness. You are
present and aware, aren’t you? That is what is being pointed to. We
imagine it must be some complicated experience or special seeing.
Let that concept go and realize that you are naturally and effortlessly
that which is present and aware. Thinking and searching leads back
into the mind and away from the simplicity of it.
 46
Without You, the Universe Is Not
Question: I have been doing a lot of looking. It has all been good. It
arises spontaneously, too. But I was associating it with having
recently received a deeksha initiation, rather than my own looking. I
can see the discrepancy. I recently read something interesting in a
spiritual book. It said, if anything you are doing gives you hope then
you are going down the mental rabbit trail, basically. I am quite
aware that ‘hope' has been a factor in my experiences lately, no
matter what my rationalizations were. I cannot really deny that.
John: Notice one simple thing. All that appears depends on your own
presence. Without awareness what can be? Energetic experiences
or anything else have relevance only because you are there to
perceive them. You may give those things all the worth, but without
you the universe cannot even appear! So do not imagine you are
separate and in need of something. The universe needs you in order
to appear. If this sounds far fetched, consider what the universe
would look like if there were no awareness! You are that awareness.
We often sell ourselves short and then suffer the pains of separation
and limitation. Basically, you are not a poor, limited seeker in need of
a fix. Present awareness is the only abiding reality, and you are that.
 47
Are You Free of the False Sense of
Self?
Question: Are you completely free from the identification with the ‘I'
entity? By ‘I‘, I mean the false sense of self.
John: This question is based on a misunderstanding. It is in
reference to a seeming ‘I’. A seeming ‘I’ cannot free itself from the
notion of a seeming ‘I’. It is circular and irresolvable at that level. One
is left trying to free a seeming self of a seeming ‘false’ self. However,
there can be a seeing that there is no ‘I’ present, except as a
concept. What we are is clearly not a thought. One cannot
meaningfully say ‘I am free of the “I”’ because that is still in reference
to an ‘I’!
Q: It is my understanding that the ‘I' thought is what obscures the
present moment awareness or takes us out of present moment
awareness like the clouds blocking the sun.
John: Present awareness is never obscured. You are present and
aware right now, correct? Is that obscured? You can never leave or
move away from your true nature. That is why when you begin to
approach this based on seeing the positive knowledge of what you
are, rather than trying to negate obstacles, it is usually more direct.
Q: Still, I am curious, how does one negate the ‘I‘?
John: The notion of the separate ‘I’ is only the assumption that we
exist as something separate and apart from presence-awareness.
The ‘I’ is not an entity with any substance. It is a wrong assumption.
With this assumption present we begin to look for this ‘I’ in the
appearance and mistake ourselves to be something we are not, for
example, the body, senses or mind. The so-called false ‘I’ is not an
actual entity to be negated. It is an assumption that is exposed as
false by seeing the true position. Everything that appears is only a
passing appearance. None of those things can possibly be the
essence of what you are. They are not ‘I’.
What thing is the ‘I’? No thing! There is no thing that is ‘I’. The idea
that something in the appearance is ‘I’ is false. In terms of the
appearance, I am ‘no thing’. This is why there is no objective ‘I’. Or,
in other words, there is no ‘I’. That means that nothing that I can
grasp hold of, perceive, sense or think about is who I am. But what
am I, given that I am most tangibly here in some sense? We saw this
before. I am the undeniable sense of presence or existence that is
knowing everything or lighting everything up. It is empty or void of
any form whatsoever, yet completely present and aware. This
presence-awareness is known immediately and directly. No
obstacles need to be removed.
Q: But can one actually negate the false ‘I' in practical experience?
John: See what I am pointing out here and this unwinds the
conceptual dilemma. The seeming false ‘I’ is not negated as some
action or endeavor. It is seen as false, as a mere assumption. That
seeing pulls out the belief in its reality. Before, during and after all
seeing, you remain as that clear, present awareness.
Q: Does simply noticing the appearance of the ‘I' really cause it to
disappear?
John: Yes, because it is not there. The false ‘I’ is false because it is
not a thing. It is an assumption. You do not negate an assumption,
you simply check to see if it is true. Finding that the assumption is
not true, you discover that the seeming ‘I’ was never present. Again,
it is not an actual thing to be negated, but an assumed presence that
is found, through clear seeing, to be totally absent.
Q: Is it useful for me to ask ‘Who is it that wants to know?‘?
John: Yes, that brings the assumed ‘I’ under scrutiny immediately.
Q: Are my questions coming from the fact that I have not let go of the
‘I‘, the self-centered, make-believe image I have of myself ?
John: They come from not seeing your identity with present
awareness and taking the assumed separation, the imagined
person, to be present and to be what you are. But it is all mind stuff
floating in present awareness! You are that and you are already free.
Just see the facts.
Q: Do I do anything at all?
John: There is no one present to do or not do. This question is
driven, again, by the assumed separate ‘I’! See if there is such a
thing. When you see that there is no such entity at all, the question
drops as irrelevant because it is based on a wrong premise. Clear
seeing cuts through the fog and exposes the true position. It is not
an entity or person doing the seeing, just pure knowing itself. It is not
a personalized action. However, practically speaking, activity goes
on quite well, but no longer in reference to an assumed self center.
Q: Thank you for your responses. After reading my original questions
several times, the answer I came to is—there is no ‘I' that does
anything.
John: You have gotten to the heart it.
Q: It would seem that I had intellectualized the whole process, like a
dog chasing its tail. What happens now?
John: Who wants to know? What ever happens now is just what
appears next in present awareness. There is no one present to take
delivery or worry about it. It is all a movement or display of pure
presence-awareness on presence-awareness. What remains is a
marvelous clarity beyond description—the truth of your own being.
 48
All Words Are Pointers
Question: Can the words ‘conscious-awareness' be substituted for
‘presence-awareness‘?
John: All words are only pointers. There are many good ones, and
they are all interchangeable. Realize that your natural sense of
knowing presence is what the words and thoughts appear in.
Q: Is being conscious of the body and sensations without thinking or
labeling the same as being in presence-awareness?
John: What I am pointing to is not a state or special sense of
knowing. It is that clear knowing presence in you right now that is
aware of the mind, sensations, feelings and all else. Thinking and
labeling are movements in thought. Those also arise in the knowing
presence. We are conditioned to focus on the mind, on the labels
and judgments it generates. In doing so, we overlook our real identity
as the knowing presence. Labeling and thinking must appear in the
awareness itself. Otherwise, how are they known? There is nothing
right or wrong about the mind appearing. It only needs to be seen in
the right perspective, that is, as an appearance in awareness. We
tend to overlook awareness and put all the focus on the mind. Once
this is pointed out, things come into balance, and we easily
recognize the fact of presence-awareness.
Q: Is it a case of consciousness being conscious of itself?
John: Try not to make things too complicated and miss the sheer
simplicity of this. You are effortlessly present and aware now. This is
not in the mind. It is not a product of thought. The mind appears in
that. Awareness is self-knowing in the sense that you know that you
are. This is beyond doubt. But the thought ‘I am’ is not the actual I
am that you are. You are present with or without that thought.
Consciousness is not conscious of itself as a separate object. It is a
singular presence of awareness. It is not known objectively because
it is not an object. However, it is not unknown either, for the same
reason—because it is not an object! Only an object can be known or
unknown. It is that undeniable presence of awareness that enables
you to say ‘I know I am’.
 49
Becoming More Present?
Question: I have noticed that as I have become more present I seem
to have become more in touch with my body.
John: Strictly speaking, you do not become ‘more present’. You are
presence itself. That presence is both existent and aware. That has
always been what it is, and you have always been that only. It is not
a deepening experience per se. It is the recognition of something
that is fully present although perhaps overlooked. You could say ‘as I
become more aware of presence’, but even that is a compromise.
That is not strictly accurate either. You do not become aware of
presence, for presence is awareness itself. You are that. You
recognize what you are. Or you see that you already are what you
are. It is the doubtless fact of being. All thought of separation from
your true nature is fallacious. That fallacy is exposed. Exposing the
false thought leaves you undeniably present and aware as what you
are. As less interest and focus gets tied up in conceptual thought,
there certainly can be a clearer recognition of experiences in
awareness. There are fewer filters in place. A natural seeing and
understanding comes up, even in relative life.
Q: My eating habits seem to have changed without my thinking
about changing them.
John: There may be changes. That is the natural intelligence
functioning.
Q: This seems to stem from a greater awareness about how my
body feels during and after a meal.
John: This can certainly happen. Why not?
Q: I have read many people who say ‘you are not the body‘. I
understand this to mean that who we are, or our true nature, is not
the body.
John: This is the gist of it. The body is an appearance or expression
within awareness. It need not be discounted at its own level.
Q: But is it possible that more presence or less thought brings more
awareness to some sense perceptions, even if they are not who you
truly are?
John: I do not have any reason to disagree with this. There is less
focus in conceptual thought. This is a natural byproduct of losing
interest in the apparent individual and all the false concepts based
on that belief. Awareness is always shining in and through all
thoughts, feelings and experiences. When attention comes out of the
conceptual process, other things registered in awareness can reveal
themselves more clearly.
 50
The Separate Self Is Removed from
the Equation
Question: On this Easter day I have been reading Chapter 27, ‘What
Are You Looking For?' in your book ‘Awakening to the Natural State‘.
It got me thinking as to how I should answer that question. I think
that it is to know the love of God so that I will be more loving. We
have a hymn in our Methodist hymn book that contains the line
‘when we can lose the love of self and find the love of God‘. So my
question is, is it an acceptable goal to want the love of God so that I
can be more loving? Reading your statement has made me realize
that rather than keep reading book after book, I need to know what I
am seeking.
John: In the end, all of the pointers get back to the same
fundamental understanding. You quoted the line ‘when we can lose
the love of self and find the love of God’. This is the essence of
everything. The belief or assumption that we stand separate and
apart from the one reality or ‘God’ is the beginning of all doubts,
fears and problems in life. To dissolve this belief is the essence of
the spiritual life. Because, in truth, all that exists is that one power.
That being so, where is the room for a separate individual, ego or
person? Such a being is a false assumption, not a reality.
Abandoning that wrong assumption leaves only the oneness as the
remainder. That oneness is love itself. Love is the nature of God.
Remember the statement of St. John, ‘God is love’.
You mention that you want to be more loving. That approach still
leaves the individual in the picture. When the emphasis is on the
supremacy of God alone, the individual is no longer emphasized.
God alone is. The creature is at best an instrument in his hands.
When God is recognized as the only real power, then that power
alone is, and that is love. Not ‘my’ love, but love itself. There is no
longer a reference to ‘I’ and ‘mine’. The concepts of ‘I’ and ‘mine’ are
the source of suffering and separation. Without ‘I’ and ‘mine’, the
cause for suffering is removed. Without suffering, what remains is
the pure presence of oneness, which is God, or love.
The aim is the dissolution of the separate seeker. This is realized
by inquiring if the separate seeker is even present, or else through
acknowledgement of the supremacy of the one power. Either way,
the separate self is removed from the equation. God or reality alone
remains, the one omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient source. That
is nothing but pure love itself. As St. Francis once said, ‘It is by self-
forgetting that one finds’. In your true essence, you are nothing but
pure love. You are not a separate person in need of attaining or
manifesting love. But in shedding the false notion of separation, your
real nature is revealed as love itself.
 51
The Separate ‘ I’ Is the Source of
Suffering
Question: As the realization that ‘I' do not exist sinks in, there is a
feeling of tremendous sadness. It seems like a great loss has
occurred. Everything that ever happened or will happen does not
exist either. There is no joy in knowing this. There is no one here
writing a letter to no one out there. Every thought, word and deed is
happening on its own. So much for the concept of free will or for any
other concept or belief! What possible good does it do to know this?
We are all imaginary puppets playing out a part in a make-believe
world. Sorry, I am venting! I do not have anyone here to talk to about
this. I think the sadness stems from the fact that once you see the
truth, you really cannot go back to the way things were. It is
checkmate. The game is over!
John: Sadness is a temporary mental reaction to all this. The
separate ‘I’ sense is the source of all misery and suffering. Its
removal is the end of separation and fear. What is left is not
emptiness, meaninglessness and so on. That is the mind’s
interpretation. What is actually left is pure presence, the universal
intelligence, the source of light and love, the oneness that was
before the conceptual mind artificially divided things into a seeming
self and other. The Hindus sages called it existence, awareness and
happiness.
Be aware that the judgments and evaluations of the mind are only
interpretations. They are categorically false, so do not fall for these
knee-jerk comments from the mind. Stay with the simple recognition
of your identity as that clear and doubtless presence. In it, you will
find a subtle joy, light and peace that is utterly beyond the mind’s
ken. Remember ‘the peace that passes all understanding’? It seems
subtle, so we are apt to overlook this—just as we previously
overlooked the principle of presence-awareness itself.
 The mind had built its security on the belief in a separate self and
on the assumption that the self was running the show. When this is
questioned, it may feel like the plug is being pulled. It is in a sense.
But the notion of the separate self was untenable anyway because it
was the source of all of our suffering. To have it removed is for the
best. The absence of separation reveals a marvelous new light and
clarity. The body, mind and world are appearing on an intelligent
source. Things unfold in marvelous ways previously unknown by the
mind. You start to recognize a wonderful clarity and ease permeating
your activities. Be willing to suspend premature mental opinions
while the new perspective reveals itself. The initial evaluations
coming from the mind are mistaken. See them for what they are—
mere mental judgments. Awareness knows the mind, but the mind
can never know awareness. All of the mind’s assumptions about the
nature of awareness are bound to be mistaken.
Q: What I have been experiencing must be what they mean by the
‘dark night of the soul‘.
John: Do not give that concept too much weight either! When we
emphasize doubts and worries in the mind, those appear to be what
is real. But that only lasts while they are taken as real. But those
thoughts and feelings are illumined by awareness, that is, your
nature of pure presence-awareness itself. There is no ‘dark night’ in
awareness. When the focus was on concepts and beliefs in the mind
that was the dark night of the soul! But now the reality of those
concepts has been challenged and the habitual mind has lost its
familiar support. Let your true nature be your support.
Q: I feel like I have seen the promised land but have not arrived
there yet.
John: Your present true nature is the promised land. Do not hold too
strongly to the belief that you are not there. It is better first to
investigate what your true nature is and what the so-called promised
land may be. Then you can decide where you stand.
Q: As far as the mind‘s concepts, opinions, beliefs, imaginings and
judgments are concerned, they usually can be eliminated by saying
‘That is B.S!' or ‘Prove it!’
John: Yes, a bit of questioning or examination exposes them straight
away.
Q: There is often just silence after that.
John: Get to know that silence. What is present in that pause? This
is what we have overlooked and need to become acquainted with.
What is in that silence is also in activity. Come back to the basics
and verify them for yourself. All doubt, suffering and problems are
created in thought due to not clearly recognizing our true nature.
They do not really exist apart from thoughts, and more importantly,
the belief in them. The natural state is overlooked. Questioning the
reality of those thoughts and looking deeply into your true nature
dissolves the belief in the mind’s assumptions. The natural
recognition of what is clear and present in yourself dawns.
 52
Objects Appear, But You Exist
Question: When you use the term ‘presence-awareness‘, I take it to
mean that which is aware right now. It is always aware, aware of
thoughts, feelings and sensations.
John: Yes, it is a pointer to your true nature. You are present and are
aware. Your presence is aware and your awareness is present. The
‘presence’ and ‘awareness’ pointers are unique because it is your
real nature alone that is present and aware. All other objects are
experiences or appearances known in awareness. Objects appear,
but you exist. You remain steady and present through the changing
thoughts, feelings and sensations. They appear as objects, but you
are aware of those objects. You are the subject or ultimate knower.
Q: That must be here, otherwise how would we have knowledge of
the existence of objects? Is my understanding correct?
John: Yes. That is simple and clear.
Q: My identity has not shifted to awareness yet.
John: Awareness is your identity right now. Look at the pointer and
consider whether or not it is true. The conditioned, habitual response
is to assume that we are something in the appearance, such as the
body or mind. But they are my objects. Can I really be an object or
appearance? In this way, you start to question the habitual
assumptions.
Q: I do have serious doubts about trusting my mind and placing my
identity with it.
John: Good. Now you are beginning to question the assumed
identity. The whole identity with the body and mind hangs on
unexamined beliefs. That leads us to take ourselves to be something
we are not. It is a case of mistaken identity. The essential point is to
clear up the false identity.
Q: Intellectually, it makes much more sense to identify with the
awareness than to identify with the mind. But the habit of mind
seems to be quite strong. It is as if, despite it not making sense, one
sticks to the belief anyway.
John: The conditioned habits of mind have been in place from early
childhood. The whole functioning of the mind is based on some of
these assumptions. Our habit is to return to these beliefs as the path
of least resistance. However, do not get the idea that the habits are
strong or have a lot of inertia and that you are going to have to work
on countering the habits and so on. They are basically a cognitive
error. The error can be dispelled through clear seeing. The habits are
only driven by belief. Once the true position is clarified, the beliefs
are undercut. Even if the habitual assumptions arise, you now know
the truth and the concepts are no longer believed to the same
degree.
Habits of mind may or may not arise. You do not really have any
control of that. However, such habits only appear in present
awareness anyway. That stands ever free and clear and untouched
by the appearances. If you try to get rid of the habits as a special
undertaking, it only emphasizes the mind. It is putting the focus on
the wrong side of the equation. If you settle in with the recognition of
your true nature, you easily step beyond the mind. Let the mind
appear or not. How can it affect you? This is what you see. Here and
now you are that presence of awareness that is already free of the
appearing thoughts. It is that which knows or illuminates them.
Q: I guess I have not yet quite seen it in a crystal clear way.
John: Come back and reconsider what is being pointed out here.
Recognizing your true nature is not difficult. In fact, due to the
simplicity of this, we are apt to overlook it.
Q: Identifying with awareness causes many annoying thoughts and
feelings to loose their bite. A certain stillness descends on me. But
there is no big ‘wow' to report.
John: Yes. Exactly. It is good to see this. Your true nature is already
present. It is not a new or unknown experience. Those would only be
passing occurrences. Most people are waiting for such things, but
that is looking in the wrong direction entirely. What you are seeing
now is precisely what this is about. It is recognizing the ever-present
true nature. As you turn to that, the concerns, worries, doubts and
problems in the mind are less bothersome. It is peace and clarity, not
fireworks!
Q: It is nothing really dramatic, just a kind of a pleasant quiet feeling.
John: As you settle in with that, you understand the profundity of
what the true nature really is. This is the ‘peace that passes all
understanding’. It is not being ‘blissed out’, but rather being
established in a profound depth of peace and serenity, utterly
unshakable by circumstances and thoughts. How do you find this?
By self-knowledge. It just takes getting acquainted with your real self.
This is what you are doing in your own way now.
Q: There is an absence of worry, though that can change in an
instant when the mind throws something nasty at me.
John: Now you are starting to see the source of the problem.
Knowing the cause puts the solution in your hands. Suffering is only
thoughts appearing in the mind. This is a profound insight.
Q: When you use the phrase ‘shining in plain view‘, do you mean it
metaphorically, in the sense that ‘this is so clear it cannot be missed
unless you are blind‘? Or are you referring to some kind of glowing
sensation?
John: The former. Your true nature is clear and present right now.
When you say ‘I know I am’ it is not a theory. You say it because
your own presence is self-evident. It is so evident that we overlook
the implication of it. All the sages say ‘know yourself ’. Your self is
that presence-awareness that is here now that allows you to say ‘I
know I am’.
Q: Many of the ‘enlightenment experiences' I have read about relate
a sensation of seeing a very bright light. I do not believe that is what
you are referring to, is it?
John: No. Awareness is simply a clear presence of, well, awareness!
For example, there may perceive light or dark, but you are aware of
both. You are present and aware in pitch darkness, just as you are in
brilliant light. Light seems to be a natural metaphor for this
awareness. It is the presence that ‘illumines’ objects or reveals them.
All the words are only pointers. Your true nature cannot be grasped
or pointed to directly, as it is always the non-objective knower.
 53
Ordinary, Present Awareness
Question: In an email to me you wrote, ‘All the senses, feelings,
thoughts—everything is registered or known due to the fact that you
are present and aware‘. Then you wrote, ‘It is everyday, ordinary
awareness‘. For me it is hard to reconcile the two sentences. The
concept of everything being registered (whether I am asleep,
distracted or whatever) does not seem ordinary but metaphysical. I
know it is supposed to be self evident, but not to me! Being present
and aware, on the other hand sounds more ordinary and self
evident.
John: There is no significant difference in what we are talking about.
Do not make this too difficult! Thoughts, feelings and experiences
appear in awareness or are known. How can we cognize them if
there is no awareness? Awareness is present constantly and
naturally through all of our experiences. That is all I am pointing to.
We are not looking for some abstract, unworldly, difficult or
transcendent principle, but ordinary, awareness. Everyone can easily
recognize the fact of being aware, but few really stop to consider
what that really is. It is so obvious that we take it for granted. We are
apt to ignore it, even though it is what allows everything to happen.
Imagine life without awareness. There is not much else you can
experience without it!
Q: Thoughts do not seem to last long. Sometimes, however, the
worried, anxious thoughts with their strong pull, seduce me. They
repeatedly return. I feel a deep attraction to the painful ones, such as
thinking about my wife‘s health or worrying about an unexpected bill.
John: Those are simply thoughts. They pass like all the others.
However, we invest them with a lot of value because we feel they
say something true about who we are and where our happiness lies.
In other words, it is our own interest in them that keeps our attention
on them. Ultimately, you see that all the thoughts of ‘me’ and ‘mine’
are based on an erroneous assumption. Then the fascination,
interest and belief in the mind withers away of its own accord. It is
important to see the mechanism of all this. The thoughts themselves
are inert and innocuous. After all, how much power or substance
does a thought really have? It is like a rumor. It has little power or
value unless believed in.
Q: When I ask who is having this thought, there is nobody there, just
as you describe it. But then the thought returns, though usually with
less of a charge.
John: This is a good insight. Thoughts are conditioned memories
and beliefs picked up over the years. They are based on certain
assumptions about who and what we are. They are often predicated
on the assumption that I am a separate, limited person. But direct
looking reveals no such person, as you have seen. With this seeing,
the whole production is exposed, and the belief drains out of the
mind and its stories. Without the self-centered beliefs, there is no
more cause for being fixated on thoughts. They move along
effortlessly.
Q: Am I not investigating deeply enough?
John: No, you are fine. See the truth of all this. The seeing is what
liberates, not some imagined goal or attainment. There is no such
thing, because you already are what you are seeking. Seeing
through the false assumptions leaves you as you already are—
present and aware. That presence-awareness is not a person, but
the ground or basis from which all things emerge, their true source.
Q: Sometimes I ask myself the old question, ‘Who was I before I was
born?' But my mind does not seem to resonate with that question.
The mind cannot entertain the ‘before birth' idea. I cannot help
wondering (yes, another mind rumination!) whether I need a more
incisive, deeply-inquiring mind? Despite my questions, I am not a
very curious person. I have rarely asked philosophical questions of
teachers until now.
John: Do not make this too mental or speculative. Have a look and
understand the basic workings of the conceptual mind and how it
generates doubts and suffering based on unverified assumptions.
Also, see that your natural identity as present awareness is readily
known, even now. Do not imagine unnecessary obstacles or set up
extra requirements to pass.
Q: I love this non-dual philosophy. It seems to draw me, even if some
of it seems over my head. I first discovered the teachings of non-
duality years ago when I ran into a book by Nisargadatta Maharaj at
a bookstore in San Francisco. The simplicity and clarity of your
books have been invaluable in clarifying things.
John: My case was similar. Bob Adamson helped me cut through the
fog and get to the simplicity of all this. You are and you know you
are. Everything else is only a passing object in awareness.
Thoughts, too, arise and pass. But you are not a thought. Whatever
thought says about you is not true. The whole presumption that you
are a separate someone in need of help is discovered as erroneous.
Q: The other night some painful thoughts began to seduce me. Then
I read some words from ‘Sailor’ Bob Adamson. They reminded me
that all is well.
John: Good!
Q: There is only one way to get out of painful thoughts—full stop! In
that instant of stopping there is clarity. A second later it starts up
again.
John: All that is happening is that the mind throws up its old habits
and concepts about who we are. These are false ideas that we
picked up in the years of not knowing any better. What are these
thoughts appearing in? Present awareness! You are that present
awareness. Even now you are that. All the thoughts are false. They
are based on a seeming separate person that upon investigation
cannot be found. Continue to see this and the whole production
dissolves. It survives only due to not investigating it.
Q: If it sinks in often enough that there is nothing wrong unless I am
thinking about it, then even if the thinking is going on, I do not have
to take delivery of it. That is the cause of all my problems. So I can
let the mind go! It is that simple, so simple that we miss it. I can stay
with the subtleness, that silence and stillness.
John: Keep up this looking and seeing. Let these insights guide you
back to your own direct seeing and knowing.
 54
You Are Awareness
Question: I can be aware, and thoughts mean less than they used to.
I feel a sense of relief, but the awareness is too ordinary, it seems.
There is awareness. So what? There is no particular bliss or sublime
peace. I am a little stuck. Can you help?
John: It is not that ‘you’ can be aware. That divides something that
can not be divided. You are awareness. You are constantly that. That
is the necessary ground from which all arises. What can there be
without awareness? Everything arises and sets in awareness and
has no independent existence apart from it. That is the substance of
which everything is made, including you. It is you. That awareness is
pure peace and happiness because in it there is no separation, no
isolation, no fear, no past, no future, nothing to obtain and nothing to
lose. Separation, fear, suffering and problems arise in the mind due
to the notion of being a separate someone apart from the wholeness.
When that notion is examined, you find it is false. This seeing
undercuts all the erroneous dualistic thoughts in the mind, and you
return to the direct knowing of oneness or non-separation—not that
you ever left that, but the conceptual fog is removed.
The conceptual mind says that awareness is ordinary. That is
because the mind has no cognizance whatsoever about this. In
seeing all this, you discover—non-conceptually—that awareness is
the one and only reality. The non-conceptual understanding of your
real nature as present, clear awareness or pure non-conceptual
knowing is actually quite a marvelous and extraordinary thing. Be
willing to look and see what that might be. Do not judge too quickly.
Last time I checked, all the traditions that I am aware of had some
pretty good things to say about discovering your true nature!
 55
Doer-ship Arises in the Question
Question: I have a question for you regarding a statement in one of
your books. I have the impression that what is being stated is,
inherently, a message of ever-present awareness. I am puzzled,
though, as to how to interpret the introductory comment on page six
of ‘Shining in Plain View‘: ‘The reader will be delighted ... to see how
this understanding unfolds and becomes direct experience for those
who apply themselves with earnestness, follow the pointers …’. The
phrase, ‘for those who apply themselves' brings to mind ‘doer-ship’—
as if ‘a somebody' could exert effort in the interest of understanding
true nature and thereby make progress in realizing it. What was the
intention here?
John: All pointers are relative and to be dispensed with ultimately.
You cannot say in words or point without bringing in something
objective. You are right. The answer is ever-present awareness. If
that is clear for you, you do not need to consider other pointers. You
do not need anymore pointers or books. For those for whom this is
not clear, the suggestion is simply to consider this fact. That is all. No
doer-ship is implied. Have a look and see what is being pointed to.
There is no need to bring in a reference to a doer. Because, as you
are seeing, there is no such separate entity in the picture.
Right here and now, you are what you are seeking. Seeing this,
the search is done. Why search or ask questions when you are
already that? If this is clear, then the need for teachings and pointers
is finished. If it is not clear, questions are bound to arise and various
pointers are given to point you back to the essential nature. There is
nothing passive about this approach. The questions come up,
pointers are given, they are verified and the understanding arises. As
I always say, the approach that ‘all is oneness, so there is nothing to
do’ is a bit of a stretch because that is often an intellectual statement
for most people. However, on the chance that this is truly a lived
understanding, there is no real issue because then there are no
doubts, questions or problems, and there is no dilemma.
 You can try to steer clear of all apparent dualism in words, and
some try to, but it is completely hopeless because all language is in
the manifestation and dualistic by nature. Even a teacher like
Ramana Maharshi would say ‘hold on to yourself ’. Who, why, how if
you are that? Nisargadatta Maharaj would say ‘go in the direction of
the sense of I am’. Why, if I am that? Buddha said ‘work out your
salvation with diligence’. Why, if there is no one? However, these are
expedient pointers given in particular circumstances. Some say
everything is presence, but then talk of awakening and final
liberation. Why such talk if everything is already that? Others say all
is predetermined and enlightenment will or will not happen. Why,
when there is no one and everything is that? You see, all these
pointers lapse into contradictions. That is why they must be taken
very lightly. They are tools to be used and discarded.
The saving grace is that words are only words. They are symbols
not the things in themselves. There is no non-duality in language.
The moment you open your mouth, there is apparent duality.
Anyway, this is all words. You are present and aware and that is all
this points to. Everything else is a concept arising and setting in
clear, present awareness.
Q: The desire here is to craft language so that there is as little room
as possible for a ‘me' to grab onto.
John: Who has the worry or needs to craft anything to eliminate any
footholds for a ‘me’ if there is no such thing? See that there is no me
at all, then all is finished in that seeing.
Q: In this regard, I was not addressing ‘pointers' in general, but
rather a specific turn of phrase, that is, ‘those who apply themselves
with earnestness‘. As I perhaps did not state clearly, this sounds to
me like a ‘directive' or ‘prescription' aimed at achieving a result. This
phrase is received as a support for ‘I' identification, rather than an
undermining of it. Does this make sense?
John: No. In practice, people seek teachings to resolve doubts and
questions, are given pointers, consider them and see the true
position. Seeing that all is one and there is no separation, all the
doubts are resolved. It works like a charm and is perfectly successful
in actual experience, and has been for thousands of years of
apparent time. Ramana Maharshi gave his teachings to inquire into
the Self. Nisargadatta Maharaj gave his teachings and advice, much
of it in the form of directives to look, understand and question. This is
because the trouble or suffering arises from a cognitive error, a lack
of clear seeing of the true situation. Advising someone to look,
question, inquire or consider the facts is simply encouragement to
question the cognitive error that is being believed in. In a nutshell,
the seeming someone is encouraged to look and see if the seeming
someone is real and if any separation from source is true. So what if
it is given in the form of a directive! That is encouraging us to have a
look and see the true position. If the pointer is followed, the truth of it
is realized and the interplay between the seeming speaker and
listener is over with.
The real issue here is—are these basic pointers clear for you? If
so, then the doubts, worries, concerns and sufferings based on
imagined separation are no more. That is something you must look
into yourself and acknowledge one way or another. For myself, I was
familiar with the theory of this for many years. Yet the personal
suffering and sense of being a seeker was still in force. This was
resolved through personal contact and interchange with someone
who knew for certain his true nature. Many directives, suggestions
and encouragement were given, which I gladly followed, based on
reason, faith and direct experience. The result was dissolution of the
belief in separate individuality and the undeniable recognition of the
fact of our nature as non-dual awareness.
It is good to be precise in language, but also make sure that the
essential points are thoroughly understood so they are your direct
experience. Real understanding does not occur at the level of
language. Language is in the mind. Your true nature is utterly
beyond the grasp of thought. The answer is not in the mind.
Q: I guess it boils down to an issue of semantics—and yet, this
personality is keen on that!
John: Forget the personality! Words or no words, you are. That ‘you
are’ is the key.
 56
Residual Doubts
Question: John, I cannot help sending you thank you notes. There is
a deep sense of gratitude here. Thank you for all your support.
Getting direct feedback is very effective. I feel very lucky. Were it not
for you, I would have written the whole thing off as insignificant and
just continued to search. On top of all the other feelings, there is
some confusion such as ‘What is going on?’ ‘Can this be true?’ ‘Am I
kidding myself?' All of these are not a real problem, though. I also
noticed some subtle arrogance developing. Yesterday, at the
meeting, I pooh-poohed another participant‘s questions, writing them
off as merely an attempt of the mind to stand in the way of
understanding. While this may be so, my behavior was somewhat
insensitive. Whether it was productive or not, I do not know. It may
be that I need to keep these things to myself for a while until I get a
better handle on things. I need absolute clarity, not merely sparks of
understanding supported by your communications.
John: The mind is bound to throw up residual doubts and questions.
This is par for the course. After all the years of living from those
perspectives, they surface from time to time. There is nothing wrong
with that. After all, the appearances in the mind do not disturb the
fact of your existence. What are all these questions arising in
anyway? Can they be there without your own nature, your own
sense of existence and awareness? Seeing this, you can relax with
things and go with the flow of whatever happens to appear. No harm
done!
Arrogance is comprised of thoughts and feelings driven by old
beliefs and concepts in the mind. So, exactly as it is happening,
those are seen and questioned. They are naturally discarded if they
do not serve any particular value. If something needs to be seen or
re-evaluated that will come up. There is a natural and innate
intelligence within us. That has brought us along quite well so far and
will continue to reveal whatever is needed.
 The result of seeing what is clear and present within us is that the
belief in separation and the attendant concepts and beliefs lose their
charge and unwind naturally. It is not really a goal, but a side effect
of seeing the true state of affairs. There is no real benefit in turning it
into a goal, because you are already your true nature. It is a settling
in, so to speak, with something that was here all along but
overlooked. Even that is a way of speaking. It is a pointer. The
recognition of all this starts to dawn and you know it for yourself. Part
of it is, I would say, coming to trust your own experience and direct
knowing. When you let go the focus on conceptual thought, a natural
peace and clarity is there. This is not a theory but known by
immediate experience.
 57
I Am Already Here
Question: A few weeks back, I was hit by the realization that this is
what I have always been looking for. It has always been here. It was
fantastic. But as thought gets involved and you start thinking about it,
you lose sight of it, or so it seems.
John: Now you are seeing the essence of it. That is the beginning of
the end of being taken in by the mind. Your true nature is always
present and clear as the doubtless sense of being that allows you to
say ‘I know I am’. Thoughts come and go, but only because they
shine in the presence of the one awareness that you are. The
fascination with thoughts keeps us—for a time—looking away from
the obvious presence of awareness. Once you begin to question the
mind, you easily step outside of it and take up your stand as your
true nature beyond the mind.
Q: I have been questioning the ‘I‘, as you and others advise.
Although I could not see it before, it all unfolds by itself. What else
can it do? Ha ha! I find, when I look, that what is right here and now
is awareness. Of course. I am already here.
John: Excellent!
Q: It seems difficult, though …
John: But is your actual presence or the fact of being aware difficult?
Not at all! Do not get the idea that this is difficult, because is not. It is
so easy that we overlook it.
Q: The difficulty seems to arise because the mind is still trying to
grasp it, but there is not anything to grasp. There is no reference
point, nothing to hold onto. The mind tries to step in and take charge.
John: Yes, but this doesn’t have anything to do with the mind. The
mind appears in awareness but cannot know awareness. It is the
wrong tool. Give up looking in the mind or relying on the mind. Set
that aside. You are and you know that you are. This is not
recognized in the mind at all. It is a non-conceptual, direct knowing.
It is very, very easy indeed.
Q: In the empty stillness, there is nowhere for the mind to stand. It
has a real problem with that. But then you let go, the mind sort of
shuts up and goes off and sits in its corner.
John: Once you see that your real nature of presence-awareness is
not even in the mind, you stop looking there. The whole relationship
with the mind relaxes and you let it do what it is good for—handling
relative affairs. It is almost totally useless for knowing your real
nature. See this and you will naturally and effortlessly stop relying on
the mind.
Q: But there is still the apparent problem of it all being so elusive. It
is difficult to relax into this, when there is nothing to relax into! I could
go on and on in linguistic circles, but I am sure you can see where I
am. You have probably been there yourself once upon a time. It is all
so funny and ridiculous. I have got it, but haven‘t. I feel so close, but
so frustrated. Do you have any comments on any of this?
John: Your own being or awareness is clearly, easily and naturally
evident. It is not an attainment or acquisition. It is not even
something to relax into. All those are misconceiving the matter. You
are present and aware, correct? You know that, correct? That is it.
That is what you are. Frustration comes in because we think this is
something that we do not have.
But this is wrong. See this error and the frustration drops. You are
what you are seeking. Everything else is a passing concept or
thought arising right in this present awareness. It is that simple. If
you continue to turn back to the mind for confirmation or direction,
you will seem to move away from the simplicity of this.
Q: There is another problem I am concerned about. Some people
have a problem with their kids or family and how this will affect their
life and so on. For quite a few years now, I have been interested in
and involved with the Western mystical tradition, which involves
magic and mysticism.
John: This stuff is mostly at the dualistic level. Much of it is based on
the subtle belief in the reality of appearances, time, individuality,
superior powers and so on. In its higher forms it points toward non-
duality to some extent. But why not go right for the recognition of
oneness and avoid detours?
Q: I still have many goals and desires for my development along
these lines, various psychic or metaphysical abilities and so on.
There are many things I want to work on. I found my way to non-
duality through its mystical side. I first found Wei Wu Wei‘s books,
then Zen, then various contemporary authors. But I am afraid that
any desires or goals in pursuing magic, studying it, enjoying it, will
disappear.
John: They may or may not disappear. But who is there to care when
the individual dissolves and all there is oneness and peace? You
also see that the appearance is only that—a mere appearance
arising in consciousness. At best it is a manifestation of
consciousness. But, more accurately, it is really non-existent
because all there is is consciousness. There is nothing to seek,
attain or develop. Magic, occultism, powers and so on are all
founded on the belief in the reality of the appearance and one’s
existence as a separate entity. They tend to inflate the belief in these
things, rather than diminish it. The vast majority of followers of these
approaches get stuck at the dualistic level and never get around to
realizing their true nature. At some point, you may want to consider
whether you are pursuing powers and abilities, which are only
relevant to an individual wielding them—or if you are pursuing the
approach whose sole aim is to utterly dissolve the separate seeker.
As you can see, they are founded on almost contradictory premises.
Q: You are clearing up some things. Some of it I had seen already,
though I got diverted. You said some things about magic I hoped you
wouldn‘t! But I know much of what you say is true. But what if, for
example, aspects of it are considered as hobbies or interests? What
if they are enjoyed for their own sake, like any other interests?
Couldn‘t such thing continue as interests after the ‘me' has gone, just
as other aspects of one‘s life can go on unchanged? I am coming
from the point of view of sheer curiosity and delight in the whole
thing itself. Also it wouldn‘t hurt to be able to nudge things to my
advantage if possible! A lot of this is from a non-power position. But
if I said there was not any idea of power in it, then I would be kidding,
too.
John: There is no prohibition on doing anything. Who is there doing it
anyway? I am only pointing to some possible pitfalls to consider.
Your own native intelligence will guide you. It is all the one power
anyway. Stick to the basics and let the appearance unfold however it
will.
 58
There Is No Need to Fix Yourself
Question: Thank you for the consultation. As I was driving to work
the next day, I realized how easy it would be for someone to think
that they exist and that they are aware. I had said this myself for
years. As I was sitting at the beach pondering our session, I realized
how many suggestions came out about how to see my emotions.
That has actually lifted a lot of pressure I felt in dealing with them. I
had not really been aware I was carrying that around. There is a
greater sense of freedom now.
John: The belief in the need to ‘deal’ with emotions brings in the
involvement and ownership of them, which is a needless burden. It is
much more effective and effortless to simply see them for what they
are—passing appearances in clear, present awareness. The need to
manage them or fix them comes in from the residual belief in
separation, that one is separate and defective in some sense and
that one needs to do something to be all right. But none of this is
true. It comes in from a mistaken belief in a false identity. By letting
your identity return to the perfection that you already are—pure
presence-awareness beyond the body and mind—the belief is
undercut at the root and there is no need to fix yourself. This seeing
undermines the conceptual house of cards and the emotions come
into a natural sense of harmony and appropriateness.
 59
Do Not Turn This Into a Project
Question: When thoughts appear relating to the ‘I' sense, I
investigate them. Of course no ‘me' is found. I place attention on the
feeling of ‘I am‘, but sometimes this feels like an effort, which I feel is
in contradiction to being natural. I feel a conflict between witnessing
thoughts, staying with ‘I am' and the fact that it is not relevant if the
mind is busy or not. I realize that presence-awareness is something
always there, not something to be achieved. I feel I am over-
complicating things for myself. Can you clarify this for me by pointing
out how staying with ‘I am-ness' should be done?
John: You say that you see that there is no ‘me’ to be found. Good.
Then you go on to say that you subsequently place attention on the ‘I
am’. This is where you take a wrong turn. Who is doing this and
why? This is going back into conceptual thought, based on the idea
that I am separate and need to do something. Why pick up this
thought? Seeing there is no ‘me’ is the end of the line. If there is no
‘me’, then who is separate, who has a problem and who needs to do
anything? Picking up those concepts only troubles the mind with
needless seeking. If there is no ‘me’, then all you are is that present
awareness itself. That cannot be denied, ‘me’ or no ‘me’.
At some point, you see that it is needless to return to the mental
reference points. You are present awareness. It is clear, open,
natural and effortlessly present. Be what you are, and forget the
mind. You have seen there is no separate ‘me’. Stop there. Do not
step back into imagined separation and give credence to thought
based on the imagined ‘I’. If you take this to heart and see the point
of it, you can ‘throw in the towel’. You are what you are seeking and
no separation has occurred.
The pointers are only to verify this. Do not practice it. See the truth of
it.
One other point. Do not struggle with the mind. The mind is only
passing thoughts. These are only waves or emanations of
awareness itself. It is only awareness appearing as thoughts, so
nothing is disturbed or lost. The coming and going of thoughts does
not disturb your nature as awareness in the least. Everything that
appears arises from and returns to this. Everything is only the
fundamental awareness itself appearing in the form of seeming
objects. Things cannot exist as independent entities apart from
awareness, so they must be that in essence. So all there is, is one
awareness shining in all directions and at all times. Here and now,
you are already that. See this and be at peace.
Q: Your answer made it clear to me where I was taking a wrong turn.
I was going back into assumed separation after seeing that there
was no ‘me‘. I was attempting to turn abiding in the natural state into
a practice! Thank you for pointing out my misunderstanding.
John: You are seeing this now. Do not turn the natural state into a
practice or a maintenance state. All that might happen from now on
is that the mind occasionally produces self-centered concepts out of
habit. No harm. Let a gentle seeing expose that. Return to the simple
and direct knowing that you already are what you seek. Nothing can
be simpler than being what you are. From here you will see all
attempts to know, stabilize and pursue are still driven by assumed
separation. In that seeing, any remaining belief in the notion of
assumed separation is resolved conclusively.
 60
Awareness Is Always ‘ On’
Question: There is a recognition of the constant presence, which is
always ‘on‘, so to speak. There is no need to look for it. It is all
effortless. Thoughts may arise and start telling the story in this
presence, but they subside gently without bothering anyone (who?).
All objects, including thoughts and the body, are seen as
perceptions. Sometimes the upper part of the body disappears. In
this presence, the so-called ‘I' comes up. When looked for, this
elusive ‘I' associates itself with certain body sensations, such as
inside the head or in the throat, trying to make believe that it is
something existing inside what we call the body. It is like chasing a
phantom.
John: I am happy to hear that the basic understanding is settling in.
You now see what you are—effortless, ever-present presence-
awareness. You are right. That is always ‘on’. We have been living in
that, as that, from day one. We’ve only overlooked it. Everything else
is an object appearing in this. There is no separate ‘I’ as such. It is
only a notion. That notion appears to survive by associating itself
with various appearances—body, mind, personality traits or
whatever. The very fact that the ‘I’ sense constantly shifts from one
thing to another proves it has no real basis. It is like a ghost with no
body of it own. When inquired into, you see that there is no such
entity. You are not a separate, limited entity. You are pure awareness
itself. This is utterly free and unconditioned by the body, sense and
mind. However, those continue to act quite well in response to
circumstances.
 61
The ‘ Me’ Is the First Illusion
Question: Following our correspondence, I was in a mindset of
thinking that the recognition had happened and then somehow
disappeared. This was because thoughts and feelings came in. It
was dramatic, and I seemed to get lost in the dream, forgetting what
I am. You clearly pointed out that these were only habits. The
momentum perpetuates for awhile, but at no time am I not ‘that’
while all this is happening.
John: Yes, that is the gist of it!
Q: I really get that now. I see that no matter what seems to be
appearing I am always the same—this presence-awareness. I now
understand your direction to me to just be and not to try to think
about it.
John: Good! You are understanding the fundamental point!
Q: I am seeing that there is no person here, no ‘I‘.
John: This is the clincher. If there is no ‘I’, there is no one left. All
problems and doubts hang on the assumption of a separate
someone.
Q: Without getting long winded, there seems to be a deepening of
the understanding, even as I know that that is not possible. It can
only be here and now. And it is. It is! The sensation that seems to go
with this I would have to describe as gratitude, a subtle vibration of
joy, for no reason. These are labels and cannot really describe
reality. What word or concept could possibly describe this?
John: There is no need to describe it. But I understand!
Q: I now see that it is the ‘me' that is the illusion in the first place!
John: This is such a key insight. It unwinds the entire basis of all
misunderstanding, doubt and suffering. I am glad that has become
clear for you.
Q: It is amazing to me that throughout our entire lives, we have
never questioned our identity. We only took the false as true.
John: It is very good to see this.
Q: Questioning the reality of the ‘I' seems a radical thing to do, and
yet it happens. Then this seeing or understanding comes to the
forefront. It was always there, but unrecognized. What a wonderful
happening, this aliveness, this presence, whether it is recognized or
not !
John: Beautiful. This insight leaves you with the clear and vivid
sense of your true nature, whatever you want to call it—life, light,
clarity, joy, presence.
 62
Books Come and Go in Awareness
Question: I have been nose deep in your books. I could teach it by
rote memory at this point. There are more insights, more joy, more
glimpses of no-self. It feels like there are no escape routes at the
moment.
John: Books come and go in awareness. Without awareness, how
many books can you read? The essence is already clear for you. No
amount of reading will make this any clearer. Question the idea that
you are not there yet, that there is something to get or understand,
that someone has something or some knowledge that you do not.
You have the full and complete understanding of this already, no
doubt about it. You know everything that anyone else knows. Trust
me. Trust yourself.
All you are dealing with is a few residual ideas like ‘I am not there
yet’, ‘In the future I will stabilize’, ‘I am something other than present
awareness’, ‘Someone else has it’ and so on. Resolve this once and
for all. Ask yourself, ‘Here and now, am I anything apart from pure
presence-awareness?’ If you are not, then what type of realization or
understanding do you need? In truth, you need absolutely nothing—
no understanding, no realization, no deepening, no final
understanding. Those are all concepts that have outlived there
usefulness. You are already what you are seeking. Present
awareness is all there is and you are that. The idea that you are
apart from that is only an idea. That single, unassuming idea triggers
all the seeking and suffering. No amount of experiences or reading
will ever resolve that. Those are all looking in the wrong direction.
Simply look and question that assumption. If you are not separate
from presence-awareness, which is the one and only reality, then
what could you possibly need to do, understand or acquire? This is
only a restatement of the basics that are already clear for you.
Q: I must be comparing my current state with my previous state
without realizing it.
John: Consider the following points. You are present and aware. All
that can possibly appear is an arising right in this that you are.
Without that presence of awareness, nothing can be. It is the ground
and source of everything. As things arise and pass, you remain as
the changeless sense of knowing presence. That is your real nature.
Look and see that you cannot possibly say that you are separate
from that. The conceptual mind is predicated on the notion that I am
a separate individual entity. All desires, seeking, suffering, judgments
and evaluations of who and what we are, are predicated on that
notion. But there is no separation from the source, as you have
seen. There is nothing beyond awareness, because all experiences,
attainments and states only exist because they appear in
awareness. Look into this until it is clear that you are not a separate,
limited entity at all, but the space of knowing presence from which
everything arises. Jane, the one who did this and that, went here and
there, needed this and that was only a fictional character in a story
imagined in the mind. There never was such a one, nor can she be
found now.
 63
There Is No Expansion into
Awareness
Question: The following quote seems to sum up what is key for me
right now: ‘Avoid forming any more opinions about this. Simply see
and know‘. That is from Gilbert Schultz‘s writing, but I am sure you
have said the same thing many times. When I spoke with a friend on
the phone this morning, she was stating something about feeling into
awareness because then it expands and so on. I am seeing for
myself that that is a subtle carrot.
John: There is no expansion into awareness. Awareness is fully
present and clear. Your identity as that is not approached or
deepened into. It is only confirmed as fact. All those gradual
approaches are founded on a presumed separation from awareness,
as if it were some type of goal that is not present. Those concepts
are fallacious. They can be dispensed with by reviewing the basic
pointers and confirming them in your own experience.
The only seeming separation is the mind’s unfounded concept that
we are apart from that. But how can anyone be apart from their own
existence? Seeing this, all the remaining concepts are seen through
and naturally discarded. Nothing is added or gained in the process.
There is only seeing what is clear and present but may have been
overlooked.
All seeking, getting, stabilizing, studying and approaching is based
on the belief that I am separate from that, that I exist as some kind of
concrete substantial, limited entity apart from presence-awareness.
In direct looking—here and now—no such entity can be found, much
less your identity as such a thing. So it is all an unfounded, illusory
conceptual position formulated in thought. Where is that thought
arising? Right in your present awareness. Recognize your
inescapable identity as that. Just look at and discard any contrary
concepts. The seeing undercuts any residual interest in the
conceptual mind and leaves you as you always are—clearly present
and aware and non-separate from the one presence that is the basis
of everything.
You do not deepen into what you are. You are what you are. The
person created by the mind and all of its beliefs and attributes are
not your actual identity. You are not a thought, a person or an entity.
You are the empty space or clear, knowing presence in which all
appearances and possibilities arise. This is ‘no thing’ to the mind,
because it is not a tangible, objective thing that it can grasp. Yet it is
clear and present as that which enables you to say ‘I know I am’. It is
doubtless presence and awareness.
 64
Start from the Position that You Are
Already Free
Question: I have to admit that the frustration is great. I do not know
what to say even. I know I have to stop, but it feels like if I stop I will
go back to business as usual.
John: Why not take a step back and look again at the big picture?
There is one and only one source, one reality, one essence. Its
nature is presence and awareness. These are not distant,
metaphysical entities floating ‘out there’, but reside within you as the
undeniable sense of knowing presence that allows you to know
clearly and beyond doubt that ‘you are’. That is constantly present as
the background of all knowing, feeling, sensing and perceiving. It is
not to be grasped, attained, understood, approached or stabilized
into. Those are all imagined, based on the assumption that you are
separate and apart from that presence-awareness. Thoughts and
feelings of frustration, of imagining that ‘I’ have to stop, and doubts
about what will happen in some imaginary future are based on
notions such as:

There is something I do not have.

That the answer is something apart from what I am.
That I am a limited, separate person.
That there is a future time in which I can attain some thing I do
not have.

But the facts are actually:

There is no reality ‘out there’ apart from you.

You are what you are seeking.
You are not a limited, separate being at all.
 Presence-awareness is what is real, and you are not separate
from that.
The future is purely imagined in present thought. It does not
exist as such.

The mind is generating some thoughts and concepts and a bit of

credence is given to them. In short, they are believed. That is like
putting a ball and chain on your leg then trying to walk. This is not
about stopping anything. That is dualistic and emphasizes the
imagined separation. This is about seeing the true position, seeing
what is going on. You are feeling hamstrung by residual concepts
and suffering over them. But you are continuing to hold onto them
and give them value. You cannot stop the beliefs by some act of will.
Who wants to anyway? That is more mind stuff! That is the mind
falling back into the same games about a poor, separate person who
is in need of some thing that is assumed as missing.
This is not about a great enlightenment, a mystical experience that
happens. Not at all. It is not about getting something or stopping
something by an act of will. It is seeing a few basic facts and
questioning residual beliefs and concepts that generate dualistic
thinking. The sense of frustration is only showing that the separation
from presence is still assumed as true. Can you see that?
See the thoughts and assumptions in the mind and get them out
for inspection. You have already seen what your true nature is, but
you are stepping back into the mind and trying to find some more
answers. Why not put your energy into seeing, really seeing, how the
mind is generating dubious and fallacious concepts and some
lingering belief is going into them. The net result is that thoughts are
given more attention than the clear, shining presence of your true
nature. There is no answer in that approach. It is an endless cycle of
trying to find answers based on the mind’s false premises. See this
and the whole mechanism stands out as clear as day. Start from the
position that you are already free. If you look at the mind from that
position, the belief in thoughts cannot be sustained. They are all
based on the opposite, erroneous premise. In truth, the basics are
clear for you in a very profound sense already, but it helps to get
reminded and thrown back into the lived recognition of this until it is
inescapable. Then any remaining doubts or conceptual positions are
exposed once and for all.
 65
Dealing with Practical Matters
Question: I thought I was doing very well here of late until the last
two weeks. I dealt with the break up of a long-term relationship and
worked through it pretty well. Seeing it as a movie on the screen of
awareness has been helpful and, of course, trying not to identify with
this ‘self' I perceive me to be. I received a letter from the tax revenue
service wanting to do an audit on my taxes for the year 2001. All that
would not be so bad, except for the fact that I have lost my records! I
am experiencing a great deal of fear. Nothing seems to help. I am
trying to just be with it, see it, notice it and so on. It is more than
unsettling. It is really getting to me. Any advice would be greatly
appreciated.
John: Have you talked to a good tax person to see what your options
are? In a situation like this, the mind can generate reactions due to
not having a clear sense of the options available. If you talk to a
competent tax person they may be able to alleviate your doubts and
concerns and point to some reasonable options. If you and your tax
person come up with a reasonable strategy, the mind will likely settle
down around this issue. This answer is not too flashy, I admit! I am
an advocate of taking appropriate relative steps. The same goes with
medical issues, job issues and so on.
In terms of dealing with it from a spiritual perspective, you mention
being with the feelings, seeing them, noticing them and so on. It is
interesting that you have discovered those approaches do not work
very well, if at all. That is a good lesson. One thing you did not
mention was understanding them. Why are they arising? What are
the assumptions they are based on? What is the mind imagining
might happen? What is the mind saying about you? How does all
this tie back into the mind’s definition of who and what you are?
What is the image of yourself in play here?
Situations are impersonal. They cannot generate fear of
themselves. However, the mind may find in them an excuse to throw
up its conceptual ideas of who and what we are. It is those self
images that are the real source of the trouble because we take them
as true even though they are counter to what we really are. Those
ideas can be seen and understood to the roots. You will find that in
all suffering states, there are some core notions or ideas about our
identity at work below the surface.
 66
Simply Being What You Are
Question: It is like I never looked at any of this. There is not any
particular point that I do not get or do get. I do not see the big deal,
especially with the giddiness some people express.
John: In some sense, it is no big deal at all. It is simply being what
you are, and realizing that things are simply as they are. The
suffering, seeking, doubts and problems in life are unnecessary,
because they are based on a cause which can be cleared up
through understanding. Perhaps there is uncertainty or doubt about
ourselves and the nature of the world. Those too can be effectively
resolved through understanding. Sometimes these issues never
even come up for consideration, or there is simply no interest in
them. Then, there is no real point in looking into it. There is nothing
particularly flashy or exciting about this. It is more of a calm, clear
and simple consideration of the facts of who and what we are. The
result is clarity, simplicity and peace. This is the residue left when the
mind is no longer spinning in doubts, fears, questions and seeking. I
like Nisargadatta Maharaj’s statement: ‘There is nothing wrong
anymore’. No giddiness is implied in that, as far as I can see.
 67
No Awakening Is Needed
Question: The clouds already broke up long ago and the sun shone
clearly for no one. Awaiting awakening is simply a lingering
confusion in the mind. There will never be an awakening. It is the
concept ‘me' who thinks the conceptualized oneness will awaken.
What a fine concept! The ‘awakening' already happened! To no one.
It appears now as an event but only from the mind‘s standpoint.
John: All sounds good. The basics are there for you and clearly
known. All is seen, known, understood and expressed from the clear,
knowing presence that you are. ‘Me’ and ‘awakening’ are only words!
The ‘me’ is not. Awareness is. No awakening is needed because
there is no ‘me’ present who can awaken and your essential nature
of aware presence is the very space that all happenings appear in.
Presence-awareness is not an event. You cannot even say there
was a moment when it became known. Only objects can become
known. Awareness is not an object. It is the ground from which all
knowing arises. You cannot say it is unknown because only things
are known or unknown. It is simply the undeniable fact of pure being,
ever present and ever aware. Looking reveals that you have never
been separate from this. It is not an attainment, but a recognition of a
timeless fact.
Q: Some things are still a mystery, such as whether awareness is
still intact in deep sleep or under anesthetics. All I can say now is
that all, including any sense of existence, disappears in those
conditions. So, it seems my feet are still tangled in some concepts
which support doubt.
John: Every doubt or question, as you know, is a ripple in thought,
which itself stands illuminated in clear, knowing presence. If such a
thought troubles anything, it troubles only another thought. One
thought may link to another and another, but they are all motions in
the space of knowing presence. That cannot be lost due to the play
of thoughts. How could it be, when those passing thoughts
themselves depend on your true nature, awareness itself, even to
manifest? Awareness remains untouched, untroubled and
uncompromised at all times, regardless of thoughts.
Waking, dreaming and sleeping do not disturb your essential
nature. There is no troubled mind in deep sleep, only peace and
refreshment. There is no question raised from that state. The
thinking process is in abeyance in sleep. It only evaluates that state
of sleep later, but not from the sleep itself. The mind is not qualified
to raise doubts and questions about sleep, because it was not
present there to gather any information! All the conclusions it comes
to regarding that state are hypothetical. The doubts and concerns
are simply present thoughts. In the moment of their occurrence, we
can attend to the thoughts or simply notice the clear presence of
awareness shining here and now. Then present thoughts cease to
disturb us because their impact fades in the light of awareness.
Sleep is peace and rest and needs no comment. Why stir the pot
and create a problem where there is none? That is typical of the
conceptual mind—to generate a problem where none existed
previously and then take the problem as something significant and
worthy of attention! The same old story!
Q: I seem to be waiting for the next bout of doubt and unbearable
suffering.
John: Know that whatever may come can only be a few thoughts and
ideas. From the position of present awareness these are never a real
disturbance. They are only ripples passing through the clarity that
you are. So there can be no disturbance, unless we overlook what is
clear and true and give all the belief to passing concepts. Seeing all
this, the potential to suffer diminishes and becomes impossible. The
key is to focus not on the thoughts or possible thoughts, which are
insubstantial, but on the clear presence of awareness itself. The sun
does not care what passes through the sky. Awareness does not
care what appears within it.
Q: The paradox that arises in the condition of the suffering ‘me' is
this. When I stand as awareness, there is no room for psychological
suffering. While, when there is psychological suffering, awareness is
supposed to be untouched and free.
John: Continue to dismantle any lingering separation between ‘I’ and
awareness. A separation is introduced where there is none in reality.
Continue to recognize that in all states, all thoughts and all feelings,
awareness, your real nature, remains present and undisturbed. It is
not ‘supposed’ to be free and unaffected. It is. How many thoughts,
even suffering thoughts, can you have apart from awareness? None.
Awareness does not disappear or waver. We think it does, but this is
an illusion. All the focus goes on thought and the ever-present
awareness and our identity as that appears to be overlooked.
However, looking into this clearly reveals the true position.
At this point you can dispense with making a division between
thoughts and awareness. That is good in the beginning as a means
to make awareness evident. However, from another angle, thoughts,
feelings and perceptions arise from, exist upon and subside into
awareness. They have no real substantial or independent existence
apart from awareness. So they are only awareness appearing as
those forms, like waves emerging from the sea. It is all one
substance. There is only one awareness, one presence. There is no
separation possible, because there is no division in reality. There are
no objects in ultimate truth, only awareness. There is no one
standing apart from that. Everything that seems to appear is only
that. All thoughts and feelings are only that. All is that. You are that.
So what can you gain or lose at any time?
Q: Those doubts I mentioned are mind-boggling! Again, this thought
is probably more than a little twisted!
John: It is only a passing wave arising and setting in clear
awareness. Nothing is gained or lost.
Q: In general, there are no problems right now. There may be a few
clouds here and there.
John: The separate self has never been. You, as clear, spacelike,
empty awareness are totally, completely free and have never, ever
been in bondage!
 68
The Simplicity of Presence-Awareness
Question: Today was very busy. There was some frustration over
dealing with practicalities, but it did not take me into suffering.
However, there are some doubts. I no longer think things should be
different. I have seen through that one. Maybe all doubts fall into that
category, ultimately. But it seems like I am doing fine and then slowly
I slip into mind traps before I even know what has happened. On the
other hand, I feel like the seeking has stopped for good. I absolutely
see that it is nothing more than this simplicity. I do not think I can
lose that.
John: The habit is to attend to thought, as if that is the way to peace.
Well, check it out! Does it work? Keep your eye on the fact of being,
the awareness. That is where the sweetness lies. It is in the utter
simplicity of pure, doubtless presence itself. Eventually we get the
simple point. Following the mind leads to confusion, problems and
doubt. Remaining with pure awareness, the sweet sense of ‘I am’
without words, drops us right into peace itself. Touching that peace,
all the concepts, even spiritual ones, turn to ashes. Peace does not
need experiences, understandings or awakenings. Those are like
soggy socks served for a Thanksgiving meal. Stay with simple peace
and presence. It is not an attainment. It is in the simplicity of here
and now. You need nothing because you are that.
Q: I see the simplicity. That is so clear. In the middle of all this ‘stuff'
there has been simplicity and peace. And boy, it is nice. Going with
the mind is not peace. There is no controller, no decision maker.
That arises with the mind, but disappears in simplicity.
John: You are seeing this clearly. Continue to be with what you know,
with what is simple and certain. All the awakenings, investigations,
readings, comparisons, getting it and all such things will lead you
back into concepts. Everything the mind tends to say is based on ‘I
am not there’. The reason is that the mind has no cognizance of
simple presence and peace. It is like taking for your tour guide a self-
styled expert who has never even visited the location in question!
The real destination is always in the here-and-now. This does not
mean in the mind or objects, which, after all, are only passing
appearances. It is in the simplicity of pure presence, pure being, the
knowing presence behind the thought ‘I am’.
What is it that enables you to say ‘I know I am’? That is the
wordless knowing of simple presence. Settle into this. It is the real
source of peace and joy. It is never found as an attainment,
experience or future state. Fall back, recede, merge into simple
being, pure presence-awareness. No thinking or special spiritual
acrobatics are required to be. It is there in every moment as the
constant presence in and behind all appearances. The mind cannot
know this, but you can because you are not in the mind. What you
are knowing is what you are.
Do not think, study or fret about this! Easy does it is the way! Go
about your life in a natural and normal way. If it is a help, simply
notice the fact of being. Take some time to notice what is present
and aware. Get to know that, make friends with that. We have been
giving all the attention to the mind. Our own nature deserves a bit of
attention, too! When the focus falls away from the mind, the clarity
and certainty of this is known, wordlessly and non-conceptually. It is
only simple being. The awareness of being is peace or happiness.
 69
Doubts Are Thoughts in the Mind
Question: I have written to you before about my doubts.
John: Doubts are thoughts in the mind. They come and go, but you
remain. Why attend to doubts, when your own nature is clearly in
view?
Q: I have been focusing on the sense of self.
John: This is a way of speaking. You and the ‘self ’ are not two
things, one to focus on the other. You are that self itself. Just take
note of this fact.
Q: I know that the body, feelings and thoughts are manifestations of
the whole, but the presence is still there. The presence is required to
see the manifestations.
John: Correct.
Q: I have become a little distant from my desires and wants.
John: This is fine because they are only appearances. They do not
affect your true nature. As you settle in with the clear knowing of
what you are, the interest naturally falls off of passing content in the
mind.
Q: There is a little detachment. I have become disinterested in most
of the things. I have stopped reading books or buying toys and
gadgets, which I used to enjoy. I find emptiness in all of these things.
For example, I had always wanted to travel abroad, but now I find
that to be useless and just a lie generated by the mind. I know that
even after buying the gadgets or toys or going for a world tour I will
remain the same and the happiness derived from these things will
not last more than a few days.
John: The clear perspective makes itself known. There is not and
never was any genuine happiness in those things. We thought there
was! This does not imply scorning or abandoning appearances at
their own level. That would be overlaying a negative judgment from
the mind. Appearances are meaningful at the level at which they
appear. Engage in them and make use of them at the appropriate
level. There can still be a relative enjoyment and interest in things.
Why not? Nothing is lost or gained.
Q: The problem is that I am still frustrated that I am not getting it. I
know that this frustration is also an appearance in the awareness.
John: It is based on a misunderstanding. The answer is your own
true nature. It is here and now. Why the frustration that you not
‘getting it’? It is based on a misunderstanding of what ‘it’ is. So have
another look and probe a bit deeper. Frustration arises in the mind
when we think there is something we do not have. How does this
apply in the case of being yourself?
Q: I read that I can only get this understanding if I meet a live
teacher. Otherwise not. Is it true that a live teacher is required to get
this understanding and that books do not help? Can people keep
struggling for years and not get it if they do not meet a live teacher? I
hope that this is not true!
John: You are what you are seeking. There is a residual concept in
play that there is something to get ‘out there’ or that there is some
special future understanding. Neither of these are true. Seeing this,
the problems drop away. They are based on a misconception.
Q: I have read about everything being impersonal. My seeking,
doubting and frustration are all impersonal. The seeking is
happening, the doubting and frustration are happening, but no one is
doing it. It is happening to no one.
John: This is all right as far as it goes. It is a popular catch phrase.
But it is an approximation of the true state of affairs. All those things
are arising due to the assumption of a separate one, that is, that you
exist apart from the oneness. They go on as long as that position is
believed. If you accept those experiences as true, the underlying root
cause is still present. Get to the root concepts. That is the most
effective way.
Q: I have heard it said that when someone gets the understanding
that it is also just happening, and it is not happening to any one.
John: This shows how convoluted people can make this when the
basics are not clear! No one gets any understanding. That is still
based on the assumptions that there is a separate self and that there
is something apart from us that we do not have. Both concepts are
false. Scrutinize the premises and come to a clear view. Then the
whole problem resolves quite nicely. The seeming problems are
driven by false premises and cannot be resolved as long as those
premises are assumed as valid. It is subtle, but really very simple.
Can you get a sense of what I am pointing to here?
Q: How do I see the truth and get the understanding?
John: See that the truth being pointed to is the fact of your own
being. It is not an attainment or understanding in the future at all.
See thoughts as thoughts and relax the focus on them, since they
are incapable of yielding any peace. Be what you are. A simple,
natural and clear peace emerges as you recognize your present
identity as being and awareness. Being is effortless. Notice what is
present and let go the concepts of attaining and getting. Once you
see this, it becomes much simpler. Your own present being is the
source of all understanding and peace. You have everything you
need right within you. No further understandings are needed or
required.
 70
What Good Does This Do Me?
Question: You point to the sense of existence. But what good does
that do me?
John: It is a pointer to be followed, investigated, explored— not
something to stand back in judgment of. That would be like standing
on the shore of a lake on a hot day and saying the waters are
refreshing—but never diving in.
Q: I know that I exist. But it seems so useless.
John: This is a prejudgment, rather than a direct experience. The
trouble is that we have been conditioned to put our trust in the
conceptual mind. We are inclined to put all of our faith in its
conclusions. But the mind is completely incapable of understanding
or recognizing the significance of the non-conceptual recognition of
being or awareness. What does the mind know anyway? Why put so
much emphasis on these ephemeral conclusions from a witness who
has no experience of what it is talking about?
Q: I intellectually know this is the key to unraveling the false ideas of
the ‘I‘, which is the source of suffering.
John: That is a start. It is like saying, ‘I intellectually know the path to
the well, but for some reason I am still thirsty’. You need to see the
truth for yourself. This is not an intellectual endeavor at all. Using the
mind may be a start, but the refreshing water is not in the mind at all.
Q: But the ideas do not unravel!
John: Because you are not actually looking. There is a lot of thinking,
but not much application! When the implications of what is being
pointed to are really understood the motivation to look is there. This
may also arise when the suffering and doubts are no longer
acceptable.
Q: Because I know suffering and problems have a stop, and
because I consult my feelings and do not feel that they have
stopped, I hope and expect for something in the future.
John: There is nothing in the future because the future is an
imaginary concept, not a reality. You do not find yourself by looking
in the future. You find yourself by looking away from the things you
wrongly take to be yourself. You look for that which stays clear and
present in all times and states—your own sense of being and
awareness, which cannot be denied under any circumstances.
Q: The thought comes that I should practice self-inquiry.
John: This sounds good, but it is misconceived. This is not a practice
at all, which is only a superficial regimen conducted by the mind.
That is like a man holding a red hot iron poker saying he should
practice dropping it. This whole topic should grab you full force by
the throat because you realize that it holds the key to your suffering
—and happiness.
Q: But the sense of pure presence-awareness is so ephemeral
John: This statement is the complete reversal of the facts. Your
presence-awareness is the one rock-solid and clear factor in all your
experiences, feelings and thoughts. How many of those can you
have if you are not present and aware? All of those arise within and
depend upon your presence. Everyone knows ‘I am’—no one can
doubt it. Yet we assume that our own being is somehow absent.
Wonder of wonders! All of the doubts are based on the seeming non-
existence of awareness, yet those same thoughts cannot even arise
without awareness. They are utterly dependent on it for their very
presence.
Q: Thoughts very quickly hijack the investigation.
John: So it seems, but that is where the clear understanding and
recognition of the origin, sustenance and workings of the mind are
immensely helpful. There are several ways to tackle the mind and its
distracting thoughts:
 See yourself as the witnessing presence of the mind.
See that thoughts point to the fact of the consciousness in which
they appear.
See that they arise and set in awareness and are made of
awareness, like waves are made of water.

My sense is that the mind has been your main tool for navigating the
seas of life. It is what you are mainly turning to for your
understanding of things. You must clearly understand the limited role
the mind plays in self-knowledge. The right tool is presence-
awareness itself because that is the only thing in our experience that
stands beyond the mind.
 71
Drop the Analysis of It
Question: Am I aware? Yes. When I answer this question I notice
that there is a looking to objects for verification. The objects point to
the fact of awareness-of-objects. Perhaps this is what Franklin
Merrell-Wolff meant by consciousness-of-objects? Do I exist? Yes.
When I answer this question, I do not refer to any objects or
thoughts. So there is knowledge-of-existence. We could also use the
term ‘awareness-of-existence‘. Perhaps this is what Merrell-Wolff
meant by ‘consciousness-without-an-object‘? Awareness-of-objects
is fairly easy to grasp because objects point to it. Awareness-of-
existence is immediate, but then the mind begins to question it,
presumably because it is beyond the mind. Mind is an object in
awareness-of-objects. When you said this is what Nisargadatta
Maharaj was pointing to, did you mean awareness-of-objects or
awareness-of-existence, or is this a false distinction created by my
overactive intellect?
John: As I see it, your nature can be pointed to as either existence or
awareness. Both mean the same thing. That is not an object at all.
Yet it cannot be denied, because everyone knows ‘I am’. I am not
talking about awareness of objects. For lack of a better term, we are
talking about awareness of awareness, or in your terms awareness-
of-existence. It is the same pointer. It is that in you which allows you
to say ‘I know I am’. In spite of its seeming intangibility, it is the most
solid and clear factor in your experience because that must be there
for anything else to appear. Without you, nothing else can be. Drop
the analysis of it and recognize in immediate, non-conceptual
experience the fact of pure presence-awareness. It is not difficult. It
is so simple that we discount it. Besides, the mind has no
cognizance of what we are talking about anyway.
 72
When the ‘ I’ Is Not, There Are No
More Troubles
Question: I went inside and tried to find ‘Mary‘. It was so clear to me
that there is no one in there. That feeling is clear to this day. Anger
comes up but it just floats through for a while and drifts away. This
morning hurt feelings came up. They also floated away. I remind
myself that I exist right now. This part of the understanding is not as
easy as knowing for sure that there is no ‘Mary' in there. Right now
there is the frustration of not seeing what is so simple. I would
appreciate your input on this.
John: You see that there is no one there. What is present and
knowing that understanding? That itself is the pure presence or
being itself. You know you are present and aware. It is simple and
much easier than we think. It is the simple knowing that you are. You
can see this immediately. That simple sense of knowing is all that is
being pointed to. Do not make this too difficult. There is nothing more
you need to know, attain or understand. Relax and be what you are.
It is natural and effortless. When the ‘I’ is not, there are no more
troubles, so do not drum up any unnecessary ones!
 73
The Suffering of Others
Question: Thank you for your books. I come to these after some
years in the Dzogchen teachings, as well as those of Nisargadatta
Maharaj, and having spent time in the essence of mind.
Experientially, that is as incontestable and undeniable as you and all
my teachers have said. When I read your books, as with
Nisargadatta Maharaj or the Dzogchen texts, I can bask in the
resonance. My use of the word ‘I' is for convenience only. I do not
mean to suggest an independent entity. There has been something
bugging me for a few weeks. I do not know if you saw the
Greenpeace report last week? Deaths from the Chernobyl disaster
were more likely to be 93,000 than the official estimate of 4,000. I
have a friend and colleague in whom one can palpate the radio-
activity when he is suffering from radiation sickness. There are
photos of all this on the Internet. They are utterly horrific.
John: Every living form that comes forth in the world of appearances
will perish eventually. This is an inexorable law. That demise may be
through old age, disease, accident or any other cause. In some
cases, some bodies are instrumental in the demise of other bodies,
either accidentally or intentionally. Intentional destruction of living
beings may be done due to ignorant and ignoble intentions or,
sometimes, wise and noble intentions. It is hard to argue with any of
this, given that this is what actually occurs. I am not condoning or
evaluating any of this, but stating things as they are. As you know, I
distinguish between pain and suffering, pain being a bodily or
organic reaction to some stimulus. In short, bodies feel painful and
pleasurable sensations as part of their functioning capacity. None of
this implies suffering, as I use the term.
By suffering, I refer to interior doubts, problems, worries, concerns,
fears and conflicts arising in the mind due to false causes. In this
context, I am referring to those causes rooted in the mistaken sense
of identity, specifically, taking oneself to be a limited separate self.
This type of suffering can be eradicated through clear understanding,
which removes the root cause of ignorance of who and what we are.
That is to set the stage for how I would approach this.
Q: My doubt is about the fact that my being in the natural state does
not change any one else‘s pain or suffering.
John: This brings in a false duality. You are not a being who is in the
natural state. You are not a being, a person, an entity at all. This is,
in fact, the root confusion. Nor are there other separate selves,
ultimately. That again goes against the basic point. Of course, I
understand what you are saying practically, but you must understand
that by inadvertently letting in the assumed separation between self
and others, the root cause of suffering is maintained, though under
an altruistic guise. Suffering, anxiety and problems are inevitable in
that conceptual framework. The suffering or doubt is not ‘out there’ in
the experience of supposedly other beings, but ‘in here’ in the very
mind raising the doubts.
Q: I do understand that as far as ‘my' involvement in this goes, there
is not a ‘me' to suffer or agonize over the sufferings of ‘others‘.
John: Yes, true. But do not leave this theoretical. Are you saying that
the seeking and suffering are over in fact, or only as a possibility?
Q: It goes right back to the Boddhisattva question. How can you be
happy in nirvana when other beings are suffering?
John: First, there is no ‘you’ to be happy in ‘nirvana’ (assuming
nirvana to mean peace or freedom). This would be a
misinterpretation, in my view. The understanding is that the ‘me’
does not exist, so there is no one in ‘nirvana’. Then the sense of
‘others’ is also seen as a concept. All apparent others are only
appearances arising in your mind, not actual independent and
substantial beings at all. Even if they appear to suffer, it would be for
the same reason that ‘you’ appeared to suffer—the false belief in
being a separate self. As your suffering is not ultimately real, but
based on a misperception, neither is theirs. What is the
compassionate and clear response? To point to the root of suffering
and its resolution. You cannot do this unless you have experienced it
yourself. Otherwise, it is the blind leading the blind. In other words,
as Nisargadatta Maharaj said, you yourself must be beyond the need
of further help to put others beyond the need of further help.
In seeing the basics for yourself, the self concept is removed, and
you no longer make a distinction between self and others. In
practical experience, there is simply a movement to alleviate
suffering out of natural compassion when possible to do so, without
any calculated program or viewing oneself as distinct from others.
Keep in mind, as mentioned above, the whole world is an
appearance in your own consciousness anyway. What plan do you
have for eliminating suffering of those beings perceived in your
dreams? Ultimately, this is what it gets down to.
Q: All the traditions confront the issue of evil at some point, either by
saying the person affected brought it on themselves by sin, karma or
even evolutionary choice, or that the evil and the suffering are both
illusions. I understand that these are only concepts, but they sure do
not help very much. I would not wish that kind of suffering for those
infants and their families.
John: So-called evil derives from not knowing your true nature. All
suffering and doubt comes from this.
Q: From the Buddhist perspective of interdependent origination and
non-dual vision, I see that I am part of this situation, and I am also
not separate from the people and the activities that created this.
John: Yes, but not as a separate entity. When the separate entity is
questioned and dispensed with, there is no basis for separation. All
is seen as it is—an arising in the one awareness that you are. You
are not one with those things, but they (as pure awareness) are
identical to what you are in essence.
Q: That is comforting as well as sobering. I can also see that
whatever I choose to do about this or any other source of pain and
suffering is fine as long as I do it from the natural state of presence
awareness.
John: No, you are missing the point. You do not exist. You as a
seeming separate person, doer, entity or agent are not and have
never been. You are not. That is why without this being seen, there
will always be insoluble riddles and thorny issues. The fundamental
premise is erroneous.
Q: You partly answered this in your book, by pointing to the fallacy of
object as well as subject. That is also undeniably accurate. But it still,
well, sucks!
John: This is a judgment coming in from the mind and not a clear
view. Ultimately, there is no independent appearance at all, no
separate beings, no real basis for suffering. To quote: ‘All there is is
non-conceptual, self-shining, ever-fresh, presence-awareness—just
this and nothing else. There is nothing other than this’. In this, there
is nothing wrong at all. Belief in the solidity of the appearance,
separate beings, suffering and all dualistic concepts emerges from
an unexamined or incomplete view of things.
Q: My question, though, is—is there any point, value or merit in the
presence of awareness while this is going on?
John: Yes, without this understanding, there is the appearance of
endless doubt, suffering and separation. Buddha called it the
endless cycle of birth and death. Presence-awareness is the nature
of reality. Your nature of presence-awareness is freedom itself—the
ultimate truth of emptiness and awareness that is the heart of all
non-dualistic teachings.
Practically speaking, realize your own true nature first. Without
this, it is all speculation, however noble. Then you will be in the best
position to help others out of their own suffering. But then you will
have a much deeper understanding of others and their suffering.
There is no denying the appearances at a practical level. This is not
nihilism. Do what you can to help as the opportunity presents itself.
The best help is your own realization of your true nature. Without
that, it is all half measures.
 74
Something Clicked
Question: Something ‘clicked' for me. I saw that awareness is not a
mental construct, and for this reason it is trustworthy. Understanding
that awareness is not a mind function has made a difference. Thank
you for hanging in there with me on that one! I also noticed how I
was holding onto some assumptions about the descriptions of
awakeness by other teachers. Those concepts appear to have fallen
away into a greater, yet no less discriminating, openness. Does this
make sense? I find it valuable to hang out with apparent persons
who do not reinforce the idea of separateness. I am very grateful for
your generosity.
John: I am glad something clicked in for you. We often overlook the
very basic and core point of all this. There is a principle that stands
free of the mental constructs and projections of the mind. It is the
essential reality of what we are. Looking from the mental constructs,
we overlook this. From that position, we can never recognize who
and what we are. Taking a fresh look, we can recognize present
awareness or the fact of being itself. This is clearly evident and yet
often unnoticed.
Let the focus fall from the identity posited in the thinking mind and
return to the fact of your actual presence and all of this becomes
immediately clear. This also undercuts the root of all suffering,
seeking and doubts. These are always traceable to a confusion
about our real identity. That is the essence of it in a nutshell.
 75
Materialism, a Faith-Based Religion
Question: You have talked about present awareness a lot in your
books and the falseness of any spiritual search.
John: Yes, because the goal is your own nature. How far do you
have to go to get there?
Q: My question is a very silly one but one that has bothered me for
sometime, since I am a materialist.
John: I am not sure what you mean by materialism, but if it is that
matter alone is real and there is nothing beyond that, how does one
absolutely know? There is always a possibility that new evidence
may be uncovered, so the position is more of a hypothesis, really.
But then, so is religion, idealism or any other ‘ism’. Like all the other
‘isms’, materialism is a faith-based religion! As far as I am
concerned, they are all on equal footing. Each one takes a partially
verified belief system and states it as absolute truth! However, there
is another approach, which does not rely on unverified assumptions.
It moves by directly verifiable experience. Neither believers nor
materialists actually do this, because at some point they end up
asserting a belief as incontrovertible truth.
Materialism as a metaphysical position is far from bullet proof. Like
any other metaphysical system, it has its strengths and weaknesses.
But they all do. That is why there is no finality in metaphysical
speculation. It is always subject to doubt. That is why Buddha and
others would hardly even talk about metaphysics. It is all conceptual
and open to revision. It is often pointed out that the answer is not in
the mind. Once you understand this point, all interest in metaphysical
systems fades, because they are creations in the mind and have no
real substance. You say that you are a materialist. This happens to
be a point of view you adhere to at the moment. You are something
quite different from a belief system in the mind!
Q: How do you know that your present awareness is not merely a
deep metamorphosis in perception or even a physical or biological
change?
John: Awareness is not concerned with appearances and changes,
be it body or mind states. All thoughts, emotions, states and objects
appear in awareness. This is not speculation, but seen in direct
experience. However, it is not to deny that there is not a deep shift of
understanding or perspective involved in this. Of course there is! The
whole problem is based on a cognitive error of believing ourselves to
be something we are not. That is clearly an erroneous belief resident
in the mind. This belief is uprooted through investigation and clear
seeing. However, the principle of awareness itself shines clear
before, during and after such investigation.
Q: I was bothered by the fact that there seem to be genuine teachers
who had Alzheimer‘s disease or senility in their old age. I would not
be worried about cancer as it is a physical illness. However, the
losing of one‘s mind to senility or Alzheimer‘s, despite deep
realizations, is deeply disturbing to me.
John: Why on earth would this be disturbing? Diseases and
disabilities strike the body, brain and other organs. The functioning is
impaired. What of it? Senility or Alzheimer’s are debilitations of the
brain and nervous system, as far as I am aware.
Q: It indicates that all the realizations are in one‘s physical brain
rather than a direct perception of reality, because there are teachers
who literally became idiots in their old age.
John: Not at all. It only demonstrates the failing of the instrument of
expression. If your hands are crushed, you cannot do much with
them, can you? You do not say ‘I am my hands; therefore if my
hands are severed, I cease to exist’.
Q: As a scientist, I really cannot come to terms with the radical
realizations.
John: Why are you so concerned with radical realizations? Nothing
of the sort is needed. All such realizations are only passing, transient
experiences. You will make more headway if you forget about such
things.
Q: Whatever they are, such realizations seem to be some sort of
perceptual or physical change, rather than a direct insight into the
nature of reality.
John: There is only one thing pointed to as reality, and that is your
own real nature. Is that anything physical or mental at all?
Awareness is a fact. Every object of knowledge or experience
demands the presence of awareness to be known. Awareness
knows thought, but thought cannot know awareness, being an
appearance in it. The lesser cannot know the greater. The bottom
line is that the body, senses and mind are not the right tools for
approaching this. If you always rely on those, you cannot get to the
heart of the matter. At some point, you must leave the mind behind.
It is useless for the non-conceptual realization of awareness.
You cannot deny the principle of awareness. It is self-established
and needs no proof. It must be present for any proposition to be
made. You can debate and talk about awareness for eons from the
mind level, yet the living experience of this will appear distant. All
speculation is futile. To approach this, you must relax the focus on
the mind and its endless insoluble riddles and puzzles. Those only
generate doubt and anxiety. Immediately, you will notice a certain
lightness, ease and joy emerge. There is no need to speculate about
this and attach to it any metaphysical position at all. Such will be
more mind stuff. This is the direct acquaintance with your actual
present nature. As you get acquainted with this, you will see that the
state of pure being or knowing remains constant in all states and
experiences. This is entirely beyond the mind and must be
approached non-conceptually and immediately. Then all the pointers
will become clear in direct knowing, not as speculation.
 76
Presence-Awareness and Perceptions
Question: I want to clearly distinguish between presence-awareness
and what are merely sense perceptions.
John: These are quite different. Sense perceptions arise and set.
They come and go. They are known by you. You are that presence
or awareness knowing them. Even when sense perception is not
happening or not noticed, you do not disappear. There is quite a
difference, really. On the other hand, sense perceptions cannot exist
apart from awareness. How many sensations have you had without
awareness? None! Sense perceptions never exist apart from
awareness. They cannot be anything other than that. Keep in mind
that sensations are only an expression on awareness, like waves on
the sea. The sea continues whether there are waves arising in it or
not.
Q: In one of your books you wrote ‘It is easy to distinguish between
awareness and ideas ... see that awareness is clear, vivid, alive …. It
is the continuous sense of registering or knowing of all that appears.
Ideas are only images, ideas or words arising in awareness‘. Here is
the part that is not clear for me. The registering of all that appears
seems to show up in terms of sense impressions—colors, sounds,
images and so on. These sense impressions seem to be
immediately translated into ideas (for example, ‘the ocean is
beautiful‘).
John: Yes, but only when the conceptual process starts. That is an
overlay on pure perception. All the ‘trouble’ starts in the
conceptualization process. In pure perception, there are no
problems, no concepts, no separation and no duality at all.
Q: Presence-awareness feels like it is inextricably linked to these
sense impressions—as if it is the same as them.
John: You are, whether sensations appear or not. This is undeniable.
Your true nature is not a sense impression. They arise to you.
Q: It is as if presence-awareness is being mistaken for all of these
sensory impressions! It feels like I am getting caught in an illusion
here. Is there anything you can say to offer some clarity?
John: It is only sensations appearing and disappearing in present
awareness. Who is caught? What is the problem? Do clouds disturb
the sky? Leave them alone and they pass right through every time!
Q: I want to move on to the issue of self-identity. It is quite clear
intellectually that there is no separate self. Yet, when the body hurts,
immediately the identification seems to draw itself back into the
body-mind—as if ‘I' am the same as this body-mind that is
experiencing pain.
John: It is only sensations arising. Why refer them to a ‘me’? And
where is such a ‘me’ anyway? Did you ever find one? The body
appears and disappears in awareness. It is an appearance like any
other. Calling it ‘me’ is only possible after the conceptual process
starts. Otherwise, how do we know it is ‘me’? But you are there
before the conceptual process starts or even before the body as
such is perceived.
 77
You Are the Answer
Question: At last there is difficulty in continuing to read your words!
The words you have shared through books and your web site have
been the final answer leading to the elimination of the need for more
and more answers. There is now an understanding beyond the need
for words, an understanding that silently describes the truth.
At forty-three I am feeling the wonder of life as a child again. But
now whenever the childlike question ‘why?' arises, the answer
always comes from knowing rather than thinking. There is a
realization that all of the questions and answers are simply contained
in the play of presence-awareness.
The ‘why?' requires no answer now. There is simply a sense of
relaxation into the simplicity and awe of being. There is no more
need to be impoverished by grasping onto the idea of a tiny false self
when the infinite is our true inheritance. There is a realization that
this treasure is our natural birthright. It can only be grasped with
open hands because we already are the wealth we seek. Thank you
for sharing so many clear pointers to the truth.
John: I am pleased to hear that you are having difficulty reading my
words! At some point along the way, the pointers must be left behind,
just as one must set aside the menu and eat the meal. The pointers
in books and on websites are a double-edge sword. Being words,
they can lead one right back into the mind. However, if your intent is
freedom and you have the willingness to look beyond the words,
then they can give us a bit of a nudge.
Your words ring true and show me that your own understanding of
this is alive. You know where the answer is. You are that answer.
Ultimately, there is no other answer beyond seeing that what you are
seeking is what you are. The separation from source never occurred
because you are that source. The separate self, the root of all
suffering and doubt, is a myth. It is a conceptual error that is directly
resolved by clear seeing. This you have done. Now the direct,
immediate knowing is awake in your heart.
 From here, personal suffering and problems lose all their hold.
Nothing can touch the empty yet vividly present ‘no thing’ that you
are. Do not hesitate to pass along the pointers as the opportunity
arises. This is one thing that you can share with full knowledge and
confidence—because what you are sharing is what you are.
Pointers
 Pointers
Our true nature is not a new state or experience that will arrive in the
future. It is already present, though we may have overlooked it. It
has been called awareness, existence, spirit, essence or the heart. It
is simply what you are, that knowing presence that is the basis and
support of all thoughts, feelings and experiences and their manifold
expressions. We have been looking elsewhere for the answer, yet it
has been right with us all along as our own true nature.

What could be simpler than being present and aware? It is totally

effortless. The fact of our being and its nature of awareness cannot
be doubted. Try it! Even such a doubt appears right here in clear,
doubtless awareness itself. Acknowledging our identity as this
presence of awareness, a clarity and joy naturally reveals itself.
From here, life unfolds as a spontaneous expression, without
reference to a limited, separate person. It is the natural state.

In the end you see that the mind’s questions are based on imaginary
problems. Even the question ‘Why did ignorance ever arise in the
first place?’ is a last attempt by the mind to grasp onto a doubt,
rather than simply acknowledging the clear and certain presence of
the heart. No harm. Nothing is lost or out of place. The questions
come up, but they must all dissolve back into this undeniable clear
light of knowing and being. You are what you are. This cannot be
doubted. Being is. Awareness is. You are that and nothing but that.
Not in the future, but now. It is simpler than we ever imagined. Know
this and live in the peace and joy that are your natural birthright.
Awareness is undeniable. Otherwise, you would have no cognizance
of anything. In your direct experience can you find any separation
between yourself and this undeniable awareness? For example, is
awareness an object appearing to you? You will see that you cannot
possibly see yourself as something apart from awareness. So
awareness is a characteristic of your fundamental nature. The
characteristics of your true nature are existence (or presence) and
awareness. Your being or presence is aware and awareness exists
—it is. In direct looking, you do not stand apart from this. Further
looking shows that awareness is ‘no thing’. This means that it is
nothing that can be perceived by the senses or thought of by the
mind. It is that to which those appear. So awareness is no thing or
empty by nature (in relation to appearances). Looking like this clearly
shows that your fundamental nature is presence, awareness and
emptiness—simultaneously. These are not different things, but only
different ways of framing in words the same basic experience—the
fact of your true nature. Furthermore, it is not something distant. It is
vividly present and clear. It is unchanging through all passing
experiences. Verify this through direct looking—right now. In your
true nature, there is no suffering, doubts or problems whatsoever.
Those, should they happen to arise, are characteristics of objects,
such as body, senses or mind. But they are not characteristics of
awareness itself, which is what you are inherently. So your true
nature is peace itself, oneness itself. It is whole and complete as is.
In itself, it is ever-present, unbroken clarity and joy. It is a constant
radiation of clear presence, vivid cognizance and unbroken peace.
Look deeply into what is being pointed to and verify it for yourself.

Before the next thought, feeling or perception arises, you are. That
‘you are’ is what this is about. It is your true nature. Look directly into
this and see what you discover. What can you say about it? First, it
must necessarily exist because you are undoubtedly here as the one
to whom thoughts, feelings and perceptions appear. And you are
aware. Right now, this aware presence must be what you are.
Experiences come and go, but this true nature remains constantly
present and completely untouched. It has no observable beginning
or end—therefore, it is beyond time. It has no edges or borders—
therefore, it is beyond space. It has no form or shape—therefore, it is
beyond birth, growth and death. It has no doubts, questions, fears or
problems—therefore, it is beyond suffering. Your true nature shines
throughout all states and circumstances. It is present in waking,
dream and sleep, without any break or change. The world, body and
mind appear in it like clouds passing beneath the sun. It is a solid
mass of pure, radiant presence-awareness that is ever-present and
completely undeniable. You have been fully one with this from the
start. Since you are not separate from this, it need not be
approached, grasped or attained in any way whatsoever. It is. No
practices, techniques or time are required to see this. There is
absolutely no need to deepen, stabilize or embody the recognition.
Those are redundant concepts, since you are already completely
one with your true nature right now. All is full and complete.

The past is gone, the future has not yet appeared—both are
completely non-existent. The external world of forms and objects is
only assumed. All we can say for certain is that we are aware of
sense perceptions. But these are experiences arising in the mind.
On present evidence, there are only thoughts, feelings and
perceptions passing through awareness. Only one thought appears
at a time. There is ever only awareness and one thought. What is the
nature of a thought? It is fleeting, insubstantial, ephemeral,
weightless, hardly present at all. It is a ripple, a movement, a
vibration passing through awareness. What is it made of ? Since it
arises from and subsides into awareness, it is nothing but awareness
appearing in that momentary form. Try to grasp hold of a thought and
you come up with nothing substantial. Attempt to look at it and it
vanishes in the very act of cognizing it. So there has never been an
actual thought present. No thought has ever existed. There is
awareness alone—nothing else. The world, the body, the mind, the
assumed individual and his suffering are appearances in thought.
But thought does not exist. It has no substance or independent
nature at all. So there has never been any bondage whatsoever. All
there is, is undeniable presence-awareness. Right here, right now,
you are that.

Under no circumstances can you deny the fact of your being.

Thoughts and experiences come and go, but you—as that presence
of awareness—remain. Thought does not create you or define you in
anyway. Your own presence is what all the thoughts appear within or
upon. No attainment or special state is required. It is noticing
something so clear and evident that we may have overlooked or
discounted it. The simplicity is the key, really. Be as you are and let
the thoughts and feelings flow freely. Do not grasp them or push
them away. Your true nature cannot be denied. It is effortless
presence-awareness. That is shining in plain view at all times.

Your true nature is the undeniable ground of all appearances. It is

not something to seek or achieve. No change in the content of the
appearance (thoughts, feelings, experiences) is necessary to
recognize what you are. It is that bare sense of pure presence or
being itself. It is not inert and lifeless. It is alive, aware, cognizant.
Being is aware, and awareness obviously exists. Being and
awareness are two terms for the same thing, your true nature. And
that is ‘no thing’, because it cannot be grasped or objectified by the
mind or senses. Yet your true nature is clearly present because you
can never say ‘I do not exist’ or ‘I am not aware’.
If you can say ‘I exist, I am aware’, then you definitely recognize
present awareness. Have a look and notice that your own direct
experience of being present and aware is utterly beyond doubt.
Simply pause and be. Any expectation, evaluation, judgment,
comparison or analysis will be stepping back into the mind—a subtle
moving away from present awareness. See that this movement is
never conclusive because you are trying to find an answer or
confirmation in the mind. But the answer is not in the mind. As long
as there is interest in the thoughts and stories of the mind, the
interest goes there and the natural peace is overlooked.

The external events of life cannot touch your true nature, just as
clouds in the sky do not touch the sun. The sun stands ever free and
untouched, no matter what goes on below. In exactly the same way,
all thoughts, feelings, events and situations appear and subside right
in present awareness. That is what you are. That is never lost,
clouded over or compromised at any time. How can it be, when it is
that very presence of awareness that is knowing all of the thoughts,
feelings and experiences?

Awareness is. That is what you are. It is neither dualistic nor non
dualistic, those being further divisions in the conceptual mind. All
teachings, concepts, objects, bodies, thoughts, states, feelings and
so on are only momentary appearances in awareness. Any label
applied to awareness is simply another appearance in awareness
itself. All objects rise and set in awareness. They have no
independent existence apart from that. Because they are never
experienced apart from awareness, they must be awareness. So all
there is, is awareness. Nothing else, in truth, is. There is no
separate, independent self at all. That is purely imagined. And from
that concept comes all suffering, doubt, seeking and problems in life.

All doubts, worries, concerns and problems arise in the mind and
only exist when they are being thought about. One solution to this is
to try to silence the mind, but the very attempt is another activity of
the mind and creates more mental turmoil. Even if the mind is
temporarily suppressed or absorbed in some state or experience, it
is bound to give trouble when it activates again. In response to
suffering, most of us either seek happiness in experiences or attempt
to silence the mind. Experience proves that neither of these
approaches yields lasting satisfaction and peace. So the answer
must lie in another direction.

The most important point is the fact that you are. Being is. And being
is not only present but brightly aware. It is that presence that allows
you to say ‘I know I am’. That is the positive knowledge of your true
nature. From there, you can see that you do not stand separate and
independent from that at any time. So the separate, independent
person is only assumed, but not actually present. We miss this, not
because it is difficult but because it is too simple. Rather than
grasping the simplicity of it, we tend to go back into the mind looking
for complications and more work to do. The mind thrives on time,
distant goals, difficult accomplishments and drama. Remember, this
is about the natural state that is shining in plain view. Right here,
right now, it is the seeing of your true nature as present awareness.
Enlightenment, awakening, self-realization and so forth are all empty
concepts. Speaking of such things keeps us seeking for something
we think we are missing. Presence-awareness is here and now. It is
clearly in view for everyone, though perhaps overlooked. There is no
deepening or future expression. Such notions keep the assumed
separate entity in full swing. There is no before and after awakening,
because there is no awakening, no entity and no time. These are all
concepts. There is only what is, here and now, and you are that and
nothing else. From here, all attainments, stages, levels or
deepenings simply evaporate into thin air or, rather, into ever-present
awareness.

Silence and activity are two sides of a dualism. They are both simply
expressions in the appearance. Your true nature of awareness,
being or presence shines out full and clear in both silence and
activity. It is as much present in the thick of activity as in moments of
silence. Do you not exist in both states? If this point is not clear, we
may mistakenly seek quietude, assuming it to be a more ‘spiritual’
state.

Waiting for the ‘I’ to drop away is a delusion. There is no ‘I’, so how
can it drop away? There is only a simple noticing that what is here is
only presence-awareness and that there is no separate one apart
from this. Seeing this, the belief in the existence of the independent
‘I’ is cancelled.
All suffering, doubts, questions and problems are appearances in the
mind. They are simply thoughts and feelings about a seemingly
limited, deficient, separate self. The belief in the existence of this
separate self and the subsequent identification with this concept is
the root of all of the self-centered thoughts and feelings. The concept
of the separate self is the cause, and the self-centered thoughts are
the effects. When you investigate the separate self, you discover it is
absent. The plain truth is that the cause of suffering does not exist.
We have been suffering, seeking, doubting and questioning due to
an unexamined concept, a false belief, a conceptual error. Resolving
this error through clear seeing brings freedom from the suffering,
seeking, doubts and problems of the separate self.

Awareness is not an attainment. It is what you are. Meditation or any

other practice cannot bring you to awareness. You are already
present and aware, even before you have any thought or intention to
do anything. Awareness is not a personal state that comes and
goes. The notion of being a person is what comes and goes. It arises
and sets as a flow of conceptual thinking within awareness. The
notion that awareness is a transient personal state that arises and
passes away is false. Awareness, your natural presence or being, is
present before, during and after any and all states or activities.
Awareness is perpetually and effortlessly ‘attained’ for everyone at
all times.

If you try to think about your true nature or grasp it as an experience,

it appears to slip through your fingers. All it is, is the simple, clear
and undeniable sense of being present and aware. It is the sense
within you that allows you to say ‘I know I am’—nothing else. Though
it is not an object or experience, it is undeniably here. If you doubt it,
then look right now and see that your true nature is here. It must be
here. Any residual interest in the self-centered stories in the mind
keeps us looking away from the sheer clarity and immediacy of
presence-awareness. Always come back to the fact that you already
are what you are seeking.

With the belief in the existence of the seeker exposed, what remains
is peace, which is synonymous with happiness or the end of
suffering. Snapping the belief in an entity that was never present is
the end of suffering because the cause of suffering is the belief in the
separate ‘I’. Like awareness and being, peace, or the freedom from
suffering, is not an attainment or goal. It is the natural condition of
what is.

‘Enlightened beings’ are fine as far as they go, but they are still
appearances that come and go in the only real light there is—your
own awareness. People search for enlightened ones, not realizing
that they could not even appear without one’s own being. So being is
the source. It is like speaking of the radiance of the moon and not
realizing that the moon has no actual light. In this case, those
speaking fail to realize that they themselves are the light that is
illuminating all experiences. Imagine the sun, the only source of light,
speaking of the radiant moon! You are that unwavering ‘I am’ at the
root of all thoughts, feelings and experiences. All else is a passing
experience, which cannot be there without your presence.

Thoughts, feelings and experiences appear and disappear before

you. But you never disappear. Your true nature remains as the
knowing space containing all appearances. What is the nature of that
presence? It obviously exists, for you are present. It is also aware,
for you know all that appears and disappears. Your true nature has
no problems, worries or suffering, so it is peace or happiness itself.
Recognize the immediate and wordless presence of your true nature
in direct, non-conceptual knowing. With this seeing, it is evident that
the limited person you took yourself to be does not exist, except as
an assumption. When this is understood, suffering, doubt, seeking
and personal problems vanish entirely. They only survive as long as
we believe ourselves to be a separate, limited self. But there is not
and has never ever been any such thing as a separate self or person
at all.

Your natural being is not contained in or even known by the mind.

Seeing this, you stop looking for an answer where it cannot be
found. You are present and aware now. Pause thought and simply
be. Notice that there are no doubts, problems or suffering unless you
are thinking about them. Seeing this, you stop chasing thoughts and
concepts in the mind. You simply relax, knowing that you cannot be
anything but that presence-awareness itself. That is incredibly clear,
vivid, alive and open. See it for yourself.

Clarity and joy do not actually come and go. Erroneous conceptions
based on an assumed separate self arise in thought and the
attention goes to the thoughts. Because of this interest or belief in
thoughts, we overlook the present and clear nature within us.
Your nature is the knowing space containing all appearances. What
is the nature of that presence? It obviously exists, for you are
present. It is also aware, for you know all that appears and
disappears. Your true nature has no problems, worries or suffering,
so it is peace or happiness itself. Recognize the immediate and
wordless presence of your true nature in direct, non-conceptual
knowing. With this seeing, it is evident that the limited person you
have taken yourself to be has never existed, except as an
assumption. When this is understood, suffering, doubt, seeking and
personal problems vanish entirely.

Your true nature is not an object. That is why it is sometimes referred

to as emptiness or ‘no thing’. But that emptiness is not a void or
absence. It is brightly cognizant and aware. It is the space in which
everything else comes and goes. It is there even in deep sleep, for if
dreams or other experiences appear, they are immediately cognized
—where?—in awareness. Even samadhi or other ‘formless states’
are registered in awareness. Otherwise, how could we know them or
speak of them afterwards?

When the mind is not fixated on conceptual images of who and what
we are, the state of being present and aware is suffused with a
natural peace and a complete absence of suffering. It is not a
neutral, blank state at all. We overlook it for a time because we are
habituated to looking for gross sensations of bodily pleasure or
mental stimulation. The real peace and joy is that ‘peace that passes
all understanding’, meaning it is not graspable by the mind. The
Hindu sages pointed to our true nature using the terms being,
awareness and happiness. See the truth of who you are and this
becomes immediately clear.
There is no awakened teacher, no teaching, no dharma, no
transmission. There is no seeker, no bondage, no conditioning, no
practice, no meditation, no path, no goal, no attainment, no
stabilizing, no deepening, no embodying, no transformation, no
purification, no growth, no development, no awakening, no
realization, no liberation. There is nothing to obtain from books,
retreats or satsangs. There is nothing to gain by meditation, stillness,
silence, renunciation, loving kindness, selfless service or good
works. There is no intrinsic value in visions, mystical experiences,
supernatural powers, manifesting abundance, receiving divine
favors, initiations and the like. There is no karma, no sin, no merit, no
virtue, no destiny, no duty. There is no past, no present, no future, no
time, no space, no causality, no world, no body, no mind, no soul, no
individual, no person, no you, no I. None of these things have the
slightest reality or substance whatsoever. They are purely
conceptual, mere appearances in imagination. Imagination itself is
completely insubstantial! Look within—there is only presence-
awareness. Look without— there is only the same presence-
awareness. It is unchanging, undivided, whole, sufficient, full,
complete, ever-fresh and ever-present. You are that and nothing but
that.

Your true nature is completely clear and present right now. When you
say ‘I know I am’ it is not a theory. You can say this with total
conviction because your own presence is self-evident. It is so
evident that we overlook the implication of it. The essence of all
teachings is: ‘know yourself ’. Your self is already present and
known. Otherwise, how can you say ‘I know I am’? All descriptions of
reality are only about this true nature that is present right now.
The ‘I’ who is aware is presence-awareness. That does not
disappear. The belief in the separate ‘I’ or entity standing apart from
awareness is only an assumption, a concept. The appearance or
disappearance of that concept makes no difference to awareness.
There never has been a separate ‘I’. It is only assumed to exist.
Seeing through that notion, that is, seeing it as false, snaps the belief
in its reality. There is no basic change. But all the ideas and
identifications based on that belief are no longer believed. Hence the
personal doubts and suffering are resolved.
 Addendum
Clarifying One’s Essential Identity
~ an Interview with John Wheeler

Question: I have been studying Dzogchen for the past fifteen years
or so. In your book you say that you spent enough time with “Sailor”
Bob Adamson such that he was able to bring it all to a direct stop.
John: Yes, you could say that.
Q: I have prepared a few questions. Some of them have been
answered since reading your book “Shining in Plain View.” In reading
your book it came together more solidly for once. I became really
suspicious about the thoughts. My sense is that as long as there is a
sense of a perceiver—and until the perceiver dissolves—one is still
going to conclude that the false “I” is real. You say that you have to
come to a direct realization that the “I” does not exist. That really
resonates. But you say that there is a sense of being, a sense of
watching. I have all of that happening also, but I tend to call all of
that the “I.”
John: Hmmm.
Q: I wonder how much of my confusion is due to semantics based on
different traditions.
John: I was acquainted with various non-duality teachings for fifteen
or twenty years, primarily through reading and meeting a few
Western teachers. When I met “Sailor” Bob I met somebody who had
a living teacher, Nisargadatta Maharaj. Nisargadatta was a highly
regarded and acclaimed teacher in the Navnath Sampradaya
tradition in Western India. That tradition traces its roots back through
nine main teachers to about the 11th century and then all the way
back to the mythical guru Dattatreya. Anyway, after a period of years
of searching and trying various spiritual approaches, “Sailor” Bob got
his questions answered when he met Nisargadatta Maharaj.
 For me, meeting “Sailor” Bob was very different from my previous
experiences. Sitting down and talking with him really clarified things
for me. As a result, I am a firm believer of the importance of such
contact. All the traditions say that the essential understanding is not
conceptual. It is not mental. It is not an object to be grasped. It is not
something that the mind works out. When we read about these
pointers in books, it almost invariably gets reformulated back into a
concept and turned into something objective. As a result, we tend to
miss the essential point. So what Bob’s teacher did for him, and what
Bob did for me, was to point out the basics, keeping things very
simple, direct and clear. And, of course, this was done in the context
of his own direct experience of what he was talking about. This is
what I try to do through sharing this also.
Now in Tibetan Buddhism, as far as I am aware, they are always
talking about something called intrinsic awareness. That, in my view,
is the “whole enchilada,” so to speak. It is the core. In Advaita
Vedanta, they have a very similar thing. They refer to it as
consciousness or awareness. It gets discussed with its own set of
terms. So in trying to appreciate these teachings, the most important
thing is to clarify precisely what they are talking about. What are they
pointing out for us to understand? These traditions often say that to
recognize our nature as this essential awareness is synonymous
with freedom. And, conversely, not to be aware of this is the
definition of a suffering being under the sway of ignorance. You have
been acquainted with these teachings for many years now. Is this
part of it clear? Do you understand what is being pointed to by the
words awareness, consciousness and so forth?
Q: Yes, what you say is clear. The only difference for me is that
when awareness is viewed through the lens of the ego, it becomes
consciousness.
John: You could say that. That is very similar to a distinction that
Nisargadatta often made. In his dialogues he makes a distinction
between consciousness and awareness.
Q: Yes. There is a big difference.
John: Well, it is all words. It depends on what you mean by those.
Consciousness, as Nisargadatta uses the term, is a material product
that arises when the body is conceived and subsequently dissolves
at death. This consciousness (or what we might loosely call “mind”)
allows us to conceive thoughts and generate the sense “I am” as a
thought or experience. This “I am” sense is dependent on the
consciousness/mind, which in turn is dependent on the body. So
even the “I am” sense is impermanent. But as Nisargadatta goes on
to say, you are still present as that pure awareness that is knowing
the arising and setting of that (relative) consciousness. He
sometimes asked, “What were you eight days prior to conception?”
The questioner might say, “I don’t know.” The reason for this is that
the body and the consciousness were not present. There was no
instrument to register anything or say anything. Nisargadatta would
say, “That in you to which that thought ‘I don’t know’ arises was
there. That is what you are.” He sometimes referred to that as pure
awareness or pure being. Since it is not an object, it cannot be
known objectively. However, it is self-knowing or self-cognizing. You
cannot know it as an object, but neither can you deny it because its
presence is self-evident. It is the undeniable presence registering
even the sense “I am.” You could say it is the pure, wordless
presence beyond the sense of “I am.”
Q: One other thing! Clarity is defined very specifically in Dzogchen
as “no perceiver.” It is also said that awareness is aware of itself.
John: OK.
Q: However, first consciousness enters rigpa (intrinsic awareness).
When consciousness turns into rigpa, the belief in self falls apart. But
the perceiver dissolves into vast open expanse, as described by
Longchenpa (the thirteenth century Dzogchen master). Then you are
simply being in this moment, which is ineffable, undefinable, totally
radiant, expansive, luminous—all those things. And there is no
sense of a “me.” Longchenpa says, “Rest without reifying an external
object, without reifying an internal self.” We are not turning this
[pointing to the glass on the table] into a “glass” by defining it
conceptually, and we are not turning this [pointing to the heart] into a
“perceiver.” These are things that feel intrinsically true about the
whole process. However, at this point there is still “me” trying to see
it! When I read your book, there was a moment when this
conceptualizing all stopped. But then it came back in again.
John: I will just talk about it in my terms. It will be much simpler than
the traditional approach. You can approach this from the perspective
of philosophical speculation and make a lot of subtle distinctions
about things. It is an attempt to articulate what is happening at a
very, very subtle level of experience and language. That is all fine. I
enjoy that stuff myself to a certain extent. But in terms of getting to
the essential point of recognizing who we are and stepping free of
suffering, it is actually quite a bit simpler. So let me try to present it
as I present it.
Q: OK.
John: All the teachings of non-duality are basically pointing to the
presence of something in us to be recognized as our essential
nature. So the question—and real point of it all–is: what is this
essential nature? The interesting point here is that we are not
looking for something that is not present. We are not looking for
something in the future. We are not looking for something that is a
different state or experience. Not at all. We are starting from the
perspective that our true intrinsic nature is already present and
always has been. It must be fully present now. To have a clear
recognition of this is the heart of everything.
Conversely, to be unclear about our true nature, to be mistaken
about what this is and to misconceive who we are is the basic
ignorance or misunderstanding. This non-recognition becomes the
cause of the subsequent misunderstandings, attachments and
confusions. So, I often talk about two aspects. One is pointing out
the positive truth of who you are. The other is dissolving the
mistaken idea of what you wrongly take yourself to be. These are
really the same thing. It is just saying it in two different ways. As
Nisargadatta once said, you can push the cart or pull the cart. It does
not matter as long as you keep it rolling! As you relinquish the
mistaken belief of who you are, what is left remaining is your real
nature. On the other hand, if you clarify the truth of who you are,
then that understanding dissolves the mistaken ideas. It is just a
matter of clarifying one’s essential identity. That is how I view it.
Our true nature is often pointed out as intrinsic or innate
awareness. The question is—do we recognize that? Do we see it for
ourselves? Do we know ourselves to be that? Let us bring this into
the present moment and make this simpler. Right here, right now, as
we sit here tonight, can we recognize and acknowledge our essential
being and its nature of awareness? Is it emphatically clear, without
any doubt at all? If this is unclear, then we are going to misperceive
who or what we are. And there will arise a mistaken view of
ourselves. We will grasp onto something else—a mistaken sense of
“I.”
Right now, in our direct experience, this intrinsic nature must be
present. Can we recognize it? Do we know it clearly? It must be here
because we are here, our being is present. The way this got pointed
out to me was as follows. “Sailor” Bob Adamson had me pause and
recognize a couple of things. One was what he called presence, or
the sense of being, this simple sense of “I am,” the recognition that
you are. He asked me, “Can you sense or do you know that you are
present? Is there a sense of being?” Of course, this is undeniable!
And he pointed out this sense of awareness by asking, “Are you
aware? Are you aware right now of thoughts, feelings and
perceptions happening?” This was something that I could recognize.
I think that anybody can. Basically, we know as clear as day that we
are here and there is awareness present. So the way he introduced
this was to point out this undeniable sense of presence-awareness
and get us to look at that.
This is really the essence of it. This is what it gets to—to recognize
this presence of awareness that is with us right now. This is
important because we are often under the impression that this is
something very subtle. We imagine that it is hard to see or that
something extraordinary has to happen before it will be revealed.
What is very interesting about this approach is how simple it is. The
presence of awareness is really what these traditions are pointing to
as our identity. It is already here. It is very simply evident and known.
When you pause and reflect on the fact that you are, you notice that
this sense of being is not inert. It is quite vivid. It is quite aware. So
this aware presence or presence-awareness, or whatever you want
to call it, is crystal clear and completely available. It is very, very
simple. The fact that we have not recognized it is where the
mistaken identity or false sense of “me” comes from. The point I am
making is that, as we sit here, what we truly are is this bare or simple
sense of being present and aware. It is nothing more than that.
Now another way to approach this is through discarding all things
that I am not. For example, right now we can see thoughts coming
up and passing away. We can observe feelings coming up and
passing away. It is the same with sensations and perceptions. These
different objects just come and go. They are transitory. They do not
remain with us for any length of time. So they are not going to be the
essence of who we are. If you set those aside and you look to see
what is here apart from those things, you find that there is still
something present. You still are, and you know that you are. Your
presence continues, in spite of the changing appearances. As the
thoughts come in and out, there is an awareness of them. When they
are there you are aware of them. When they disappear, you are quite
aware that they are not there. So that presence of awareness still
remains.
The key to recognizing our true nature is to realize that it is one
hundred percent absolutely present. The truth is that we can actually
recognize it quite easily. The thing that tends to happen is that we
have a hard time believing that it is this simple. We think, “This
cannot be who we are. This is so obvious. This is too simple. This
cannot possibly be what they are talking about.”
Things drastically changed for me through the confirmation from
“Sailor” Bob, based on his experience with his teacher and his own
lived understanding, that it is that simple. When we pause and
recognize the pure sense of being and awareness, this is the direct,
absolute, clear, recognition of our intrinsic true nature. This is not a
partial, momentary, vague recognition. We are coming face to face
with what the non-dual traditions have been pointing out all along. It
is very rare that we would ever hear about this or get this pointed
out, much less spend any time probing into the meaning of it.
Because of the way that we have been conditioned to view things,
we typically think “I am this. I am that. I am a body. I am a thought. I
am a person. I have certain attributes.” But all of those things are
concepts. This immediate awareness that we actually are is not a
concept at all. It is not in the mind. You start to see the difference
between the idea of what we think ourselves to be and the non-
conceptual presence of who we truly are.
The non-dual teachings have been saying all along that we are not
in the mind, we are not an image, we are not a construction in
thought, we are not something objective. As you start to lock in on
that, you start to realize that this is what it has always been about. All
of the traditions are basically saying that our true nature is what is
real. To recognize this is the whole essence of it. Then one’s view
radically changes. It certainly changed for me when I realized that
we are not looking for anything that is distant, complicated or hard to
understand. Once you get a basic sense of this, you discover some
very incredible things about this basic aware presence. There is
nothing mundane about it at all.
So recognize for yourself your true nature as that undeniable
sense of being, which is both present and aware. Notice that as
various thoughts, feelings and perceptions arise and pass your
presence does not change. Does this sense of being alter in the
slightest? Does it go anywhere? Does it have any variation? Does it
come or go? Do you lose it? Understand that in this looking, we are
not bringing anything new into the picture at all. We could have
looked at this years ago, but we just simply never considered it!
It is important that this recognition of our essential nature is very
clear and solid. If this is not clear, the mind will constantly jump back
into the conceptualization process, with all of the doubts and
questions. This is because the mind is searching to know what is
true about ourselves. If the truth of who we are is not clear, it leaves
the mind trying to answer those questions by going back into the
only place it is familiar with—which is the conceptual process. So it is
essential to recognize what we are and allow that to become very,
very clear. We have seen our true nature to be that sense of being-
awareness. It is already here. It is easily recognized. It is constantly
with us and unchanged by appearances.
Q: In deep sleep, I do not have that sense.
John: I suggest becoming familiar with this presently in the waking
state. Then the issue of deep sleep will take care of itself. But often
what happens is that before we allow ourselves to get familiar with
what is being pointed out, we stop the looking by jumping to these
edge cases and getting sidetracked in speculation. There is a lot you
can see right now. We have only touched the tip of the iceberg! Let’s
continue to look into our present true nature. It seems simple but is
actually very profound. There is a lot of depth to it.
Do you need to wait for the future to recognize what you are? How
many of us have been waiting for something to happen in the future,
assuming that somehow the answer lies there? When you realize
that this is about your present nature, then you see you do not have
to wait for the future. You set aside that concept.
Does this recognition involve a path, a practice, a technique or
process?
Q: No.
John: It is important to see that. Is there any effort at all involved in
being what you are?
Q: Only if you are in a state of fear or suffering.
John: Well, I am asking you right now! Are you making any effort to
recognize that you are?
Q: Well, no. But I brought that up because that is one of my main
issues.
John: Yet you find that in your direct experience, natural awareness
is already present. It is naturally and effortlessly present. It is not a
maintenance state. It is not something that you manufacture. It is not
something you have to get to or achieve. We often make those
assumptions. But when you look in present experience, the
assumptions are not valid.
Let us continue with a bit more investigation. Is this innate
awareness an object that you see as something apart from yourself
? In other words, in recognizing presence-awareness is it something
over there, while you are here? Do you say, “There it is, and here I
am”? Is that what you actually see in your experience? Is this innate
presence of awareness anything objective at all? Look for yourself.
We know it is here. We know we are. We know we are aware. In the
recognition of this, is it something that stands apart with
characteristics that you can grasp objectively? Is your being a thing?
Is it a thought? Is it a particular perception?
Q: I do not experience it as a totality yet. I experience everything in
it. But what appears seems to be separate. So I am stuck right there.
John: Let’s not lose the thread of what we are seeing here. We are
seeing the fact that, as far as we can tell, presence, which means
the sense of being-awareness, is not a thought, experience or object
that you grasp hold of. It is not an object and yet, it is undeniably,
irrefutably present. It is a very interesting thing, really.
There are a couple more points to consider to drive home the
basic recognition of things. Is it that you are one thing and
awareness is another thing? Or is it that you are that which is
present and aware? Can you make any distinction between
awareness and your own presence? We already saw that awareness
is not an object. What this really means is that there is actually no
separation between our own nature and that which is aware. This
point has profound implications, immense implications. The non-dual
teachings are saying the nature of reality is this ineffable awareness-
presence. And in our immediate experience we discover that this
awareness is our identity. It is what we are. We cannot find a
separation between ourselves and awareness. It is not that there is
you and there is awareness. You find that you ARE that which is
aware. You are presence-awareness itself.
Finally, there is one other aspect to mention. The body feels
experiences, or the mind has various thoughts and feelings. So
naturally the mind might have questions, problems or worries. Those
are clearly something that is occurring in the mind. They are
thoughts. Or the body might be feeling a pain or some other
sensation. But does the presence of awareness actually have those
things? Is the awareness itself subject or victim to those
appearances? If we grant that psychological suffering is a product of
or an appearance in the mind, can we say that the actual awareness
itself has any suffering or problems? If you grant that is only the mind
that has thoughts and feelings, you can start to recognize something
quite interesting. Awareness, which we have seen is what we
actually are, has no suffering. It is not limited by it. It is not subject to
the states of the body and mind. That leads us to the recognition that
intrinsic, innate presence is completely free of any limitation or
suffering at all.
Let us review what we have covered so far. We see that that our
nature is the simple sense of presence-awareness. It is here,
effortlessly recognized. It is not in the future. It is not something we
need to produce or maintain. It is not a practice. It is not something
objective that we can grasp a hold of. Yet it is utterly undeniable. We
can find no separation between ourselves and what is present and
aware. Essentially, we are that. While the body and mind experience
various states and conditions, awareness itself is innately free.
Because this awareness is not objective, it is not in the flow of time.
We cannot say it begins, changes or ends. How can something that
is not an object be subject to time or change?
You begin to realize an incredible possibility that has always been
totally present but just overlooked. There is nothing being pointed
out that is foreign or difficult to comprehend. It is so innate and
present that there is no need to even bring in concepts such as
enlightenment, awakening, liberation or any such thing. Those are
too crude, too objective. When those concepts are emphasized,
people start to think, “When awakening happens, then I will be there.
Then I will see this. Then I will know what this is about.” It turns out
that to know who you are, you do not need any of that at all. They
are useless concepts. They keep people looking away from the
simplicity—and profundity—of things. If we were not precisely clear
what some of these great traditions were pointing to as our true
nature, it is very, very important to hear this and recognize this for
yourself.
Now what I find, though, is that many of us have heard stuff like
this for a long time. We may have heard about it through books or
popular teachers. It was not foreign to me, and I am sure it is not
foreign to you either. But the change that occurred for me through
my contact with “Sailor” Bob was the vivid recognition of how close,
near and available this is. That was not clear to me till then. What I
missed was the fact that what is being pointed to is already present
in my experience. All the teachers I had met up till then lacked a
clear understanding of things because they were overtly or subtly
implying that full recognition of who we are is not immediately
present. They were not able to point that out. However, that can and
will get pointed out directly by someone with a clear and direct
understanding. This is what the teachers coming from the non-dual
traditions have confirmed from their experience. And you will find
that there is nothing beyond this.
At one point, I viewed myself as a seeker who was basically on the
hunt for enlightenment, the great future attainment. It got pointed out
very quickly that this was all just a concept, that I was looking in the
wrong direction. While we are pursuing the state of enlightenment,
we are overlooking the fact that everything that is being pointed to is
actually already here. In seeing this, we can let that concept go. We
can appreciate and relax with an acknowledgement of this already
present fact of what we are. “Sailor” Bob was suggesting that we
start from the position or the recognition that we already are that.
You already know that. It is already attained. Why not begin with this
as your baseline, instead of saying, “Where is it? How am I going to
get there? I cannot see it. I need to get enlightened.” For most
people, this is a radical change of perspective.
Looking in this way allows you to dismantle many other
unnecessary concepts. For example, a common notion is that it is a
matter of relaxing into our true nature over and over again. We think
that somehow this will enable us to get more and more stabilized or
closer to it. But even that is a conceptual overlay. It is not necessary.
Q: It is still a perceiver.
John: Yes. We have already seen that it is not that there is you as a
separate entity and another thing called presence-awareness. It is
nothing like that. We saw that this is what you are. So if you are this
awareness and you cannot find a separation, then the notion that I
am going to relax into it is purely conceptual. If it is what you are,
how can you get out of it? It is totally effortless to be what you
already are. Who is going to relax into it? These beliefs and
assumptions begin to stand out as conceptual constructs. So talking
about relaxing into presence implies that we are not this. But we are
this. We should recognize the truth of what we already are.
Once you get this basic thing pointed out, that what we have been
seeking is what we already are, you see that there is nothing you are
going to do to achieve that or enhance it. Where can you go from
there? That is the whole ball game. It is like searching for the North
Pole. Once you arrive there, where can you go? Any way you move,
you start heading south again. So, full stop! Seeing your actual
position, you are not going to move anywhere because that will not
get you any closer. Anywhere you try to move is going to be a fall
away from that.
From this recognition, you start to realize that what has been
hanging us up are the concepts, the mistaken beliefs about who we
are. Let us say that I still believe the notion that the goal is distant
from me and I need to do something to get there. That is a belief.
Based on that, I will assume that I am a separate being, that the true
nature is apart from me and that I am progressing towards it. So that
“I” thought, which is the notion that I stand as something apart from
the intrinsic reality, becomes a solid belief. It gets taken as real.
However, the whole conceptual framework is just an appearance of
thought arising and setting right in this present awareness. That
awareness is already at the goal, and you already are that.
So the whole conceptual framework is misconceived. Yet it will
cause suffering. Instead realizing the already present freedom, the
mind conceives of a separation. We believe that we are something
separate. The sense of limitation comes in and the mind begins to
construct a framework of how it is going to achieve oneness. But it is
invalid because you are not separate. As these concepts get pointed
out, they can be seen and discarded. A weight falls off. Every time
you bring up one of these conceptual frameworks, you spot it and
the belief drops out of it. The suffering and the bondage wrapped up
into that falls off your shoulders.
It is important to understand where the concepts come from, what
they are rooted in, and how that mechanism works. Once you see
that the concept of a separate self and all the notions that go with it
are not valid, you no longer believe them. In not grasping hold of
them, where does it leave you? It leaves you naturally and
effortlessly in the true nature that you are with no suffering due to
belief in false concepts. You are not really gaining anything, but you
are simply discarding the concepts that were generating
unnecessary, conceptually-based suffering.
In my experience of this, what happened was that the true nature
was pointed out and recognized very clearly. But then my doubts,
fears and beliefs from the past would arise in the middle of this clear
knowing of my identity as awareness. This was distracting and
triggered suffering. But then I started to see what was happening.
Erroneous concepts based on the view of a limited self, which the
mind had picked up from in the past, were appearing, and the energy
of belief was going into them. I was assuming those thoughts to be
valid statements of myself and taking them seriously. The clear and
simple truth of who I am was being overlooked. It was nothing more
complicated than this, but in all the years of seeking I had missed
this basic point.
The vast majority of seekers out there are not clear on the basic
recognition of their true nature. They simply are not. And this even
applies to those interested in Buddhism, Zen, Dzogchen, Advaita
Vedanta or other modern derivatives of these traditions.
Q: The essential teachings are seldom ever given, even in the
Dzogchen community. So most practitioners lack a basic recognition.
John: In my view there are not that many people out there that
talking about this in a direct way without mixing in unnecessary
concepts. “Sailor” Bob does it. Perhaps there are a few others. The
basic points are embedded in the traditions obviously, but when you
go out in the current spiritual marketplace, you rarely see this
presented clearly.
It is very, very important to have a direct pointing out of your true
nature. It is often best to have this pointed out in a face-to-face, live
conversation, so that you can hear it, resonate with it, ask questions,
and allow it to sink in as your direct experience. It is hard, if not
impossible, to read about what I am talking about and make much
sense out of it. It is entirely non-conceptual. So if you read a book
about presence-awareness, you can come away thinking, “That is an
interesting idea. That sounds really incredible. I wish I understood it.”
But when the basic point of this clicks in your direct experience and
you have a taste of that for yourself, it is a significant turning point.
You then know that what is being pointed to is not in books. It is not
something special that teachers have. It is not something distant at
all. You know that wherever you go, that all that was ever being
pointed to is shining in your direct experience as the undeniable
sense of being-awareness that is already here. That is what they
were always talking about. Now you know! This became clear to me
after talking with “Sailor” Bob. Suddenly, the point of it all dawned.
After all those years, I knew what they were talking about. It became
clear to me what this actually is.
I saw that my doubts, fears, worries and problems would erupt into
this recognition of who I am. I did not yet know what was going on.
So my sense of suffering was still active. I talked about this with
“Sailor” Bob for two or three days. I would be feeling really clear, with
a sense that “this is so obvious.” Then something would come up in
my mind about work or health. I would get wrapped up in a personal
issue or some spiritual concept. Suddenly I would be back into the
suffering. That was puzzling for me. Fortunately, I was able to go
back and talk about this stuff and get it resolved.
Just as you understand the truth of what you are, you can also
understand suffering. You can understand what it is, where it comes
from and how it can be resolved. I know very, very few people out
there who are clear on this aspect. You meet a lot of people who will
tell you, “I know who I am. I am awakened. I know I am
consciousness. I am awareness.” And then they say, “But the
conditioning and the suffering keeps coming up.” If you ask them
what they are going to do about it, they do not have a real answer!
They do not know where suffering comes from. They do not know
why it arises. We think, “I hope someday its going to work itself out
then I will be free.” But that is not really an answer at all. I started to
see this in the contemporary spiritual scene. People I had known
who had been at it for years and years were still subject to doubts
and suffering, even after going to countless satsangs, retreats and
so-called “awakened” teachers.
The real answer comes through a clear understanding. Passively
waiting for suffering to depart is not sufficient in my view. When I talk
about suffering, I refer to the emotional turbulence, doubts, worries,
fears, concerns about myself, what people think of me, the feeling of
being a separate individual, whatever you can think of that is
contrary to this innate sense of peace. I am not referring to bodily
pain. That is part of the natural organic intelligence of things. So
what we are really dealing with is how to understand and resolve the
psychological suffering that is generated by false concepts of who
we are. Then you are not going to be a victim of doubts, suffering
and worries. You are not going to feel like you are a separate seeker.
You are not going to feel that other people know things that you do
not know. You are not going to feel that you are missing something.
You are not going to be engulfed in black, dark moods any longer. All
these kinds of things come from causes which can be addressed.
They come from a mistaken view of ourselves, and they can be
resolved.
This is done in conjunction with the recognition of the truth of who
you are. As that recognition comes to the forefront, it contradicts or
eliminates the root cause, that basic mistaken identity. This is
completely workable. It absolutely, emphatically gets to the root of it
once and for all. Those who say suffering is inevitable or an inherent
part of the nature of things are entirely mistaken.
Q: I have been dealing with some physical pain issues.
John: I have dealt with that myself, too.
Q: It appears for you that there is no longer any doubt that there is
no separate “I.” Is that true?
John: Yes.
Q: Then when physical pain arises in a real level of intensity, does
the awareness stay for you?
John: Definitely, yes. And the reason is very simple. The pain is
arising and registered in the awareness, so the awareness does not
go anywhere. We already determined that perceptions, feelings and
thoughts going through do not disturb, contradict or eliminate the
basic presence of awareness. We may not recognize that or note
that at some stage because all of our focus and emotional energy
goes so much onto the experience. But it does not mean that the
being or the awareness literally goes anywhere. The fact of it is that
you cannot have those experiences without awareness. They are still
occurring as experiences in awareness, aren’t they?
Q: But take the case of someone like Ramana Maharshi. He had
cancer in the upper arm which basically ate him until he died. He
acknowledged there was great pain, but he also acknowledged that
there was no doubt, that the awareness was not affected at all.
Right?
John: It was the same with Nisargadatta, “Sailor” Bob’s teacher. He
died of a throat cancer that took his life after about three years. He
kept teaching and talking right to the very last day. He could hardly
talk, and he was still communicating this message right until the last
moments of his life. So somehow he was able to go through these
experiences.
Q: It appears that he was able to sit there as awareness and simply
let things arise in spite of the physical experiences, right?
John: That appeared to be the case.
Q: And it was the same with Ramana Maharshi, right?
John: And it will be the same for you, too! Because the truth of it is
that when things come up, whatever they happen to be, you will still
be there as that awareness. This we have already seen.
Q: For me right now the pain seems to drive me to such distraction
that I stop knowing my nature as awareness.
John: Apparently! But do not bring back in the notion that your nature
is something to be perceived as an object that you can gain and
lose. You are not a separate entity apart from that awareness and
you never will be. So the whole notion that you cannot get back to
the awareness or you cannot see it is based on a false assumption.
It does not matter what you think. You are that awareness. You will
always be that. There is nothing you can do to get away from it. It is
not a matter of relaxing into it, focusing on it or obtaining it. That is all
conceptual. It is much more basic than that. It is what you are
innately and always will be.
So when you really start to get that point, you realize that the idea
that you have to get to your true nature is fallacious. The notion that
you have to focus, hold your mind in a certain way or pay attention,
has nothing to do with this. It is much more basic. All the thoughts,
distractions, efforts or any other experiences always appear in this
ever-present awareness, which is naturally present with no effort.
Q: Awareness, if free, is free to not even look at the pain. Is this so?
John: Well, there is no need for that. Who we are is not really subject
or victim to those experiences. There is no need to maneuver away
from it, to embrace it, push it away or anything of the sort. Typically,
when we are experiencing pain we think, “This should not be
happening to me. I would like to get away from this. This isn’t right.”
That kind of relationship with what is appearing starts to fall away. If
you are having pain in the body, you are probably going to do
something to address it. That is fine at a relative level. But when you
look a bit more deeply, you see that there is simply awareness in
which things are happening, even a pain in my leg or whatever. The
awareness is one thing, the pain is something else. It is an
experience.
The other layer that gets in there that confuses things is the
conceptual process, the mind’s interpretation of what is going on. It
adds unnecessary conceptualizing onto the experience. For
example, you think, “I am here feeling pain. This is happening to me.
This is not good. It should not be happening. I wish this would stop.”
All of that is simply being spun up in the thought process. The
awareness does not have those opinions. It is just registering what
is. And the pain is just happening. It is an impersonal happening. So
this layer of conceptualization is where the problem creeps in. Why?
Because your nature of awareness is already free and has no
problems. The thoughts, feeling and perceptions that come up are
just transitory things that move through this awareness. They do not
have any opinion about whether they should be there or not. They
are just happening, just doing their thing. So where is the problem?
So why introduce a third entity into the equation? Why not be with
what is and not identify it as some experience for a self which is not
even there! If you do not interpret something through that reference
point, then there is not a conceptual position. Everything may appear
just like it always has from an outside viewpoint. But with an
understanding of the conceptual nature of suffering, the suffering is
no longer taken as real. There is no need to introduce that third
component in there.
Q: So in your own case I understand that you have had some
physical health issues.
John: Yes.
Q: So in that situation, worry does not come up and get you
spinning? You do not buy it when it comes up?
John: Mostly it does not come up because I have seen through that.
You can see that too. Once you understand that all this suffering,
worry and turbulence is being generated at a conceptual level in the
mind based on a misunderstanding and that what it is based on is
not real, you are done with it. It is all thought based. It depends on
giving those beliefs and concepts reality. For example, here is an
exaggerated case so you can get a feel for this. If I suddenly realize
that this body is deathly ill and is on its way out, and I am told by
doctors, “We do not know if you are going to make it or not.” There
are a couple of ways of responding to this. The objective fact is that
the body is just a mortal creature. It was born and it will eventually
pass. This is an objective fact. And the awareness simply registers
what appears. It could be a healthy body, a sick body, a young body,
an old body or a dying body. From the perspective of awareness it
does not have any preference. It does not have a value judgment. It
does not say, “Oh, when I look out this should be a young person or
a healthy person. It just registers whatever is there. And until there is
conceptualization, there is no suffering in any of that. However,
imagine I were to say, “I am dying. I am sick. This is happening to
me.” Then this would start to bring in this sense of self, the notion
that my being or my identity is getting wrapped up with the events.
This would be mistaking the true awareness that I am with this
conceptualizing process, which we have already decided is not who I
am. The mind is creating a confusion by melding together the sense
of our true nature and this conceptual identity. Then you come out
with the statement, “Here I am. I am dying.” And suffering arises with
that belief. The mind goes into a panic. There is the notion that my
being or my identity is ending or that something traumatic is
happening to me. The truth is that this is completely erroneous.
This is where you start to see where suffering comes in. Suffering
is not given, and it is not natural. It is not part of what is really
present, in fact. It is a very specifically constructed mental framework
based on an erroneous view of things. So if the mind constructs the
notion “I am dying” and believes it, then a certain amount of energy
goes into that belief. That is when I start to have psychological
suffering. Then the mind will jump to additional concepts, such as
“What do I do now? This should not be happening. I have got to
change this. Oh my God, I do not want to die. There are so many
things I want to do.” At that point you are in a whole cloud of
concepts and taking it as quite real. But it is all thought based. It is all
springing from the mistaken identification. So this starts to show
where suffering comes in.
You start to realize that suffering, as I am defining it, is a creation
of the thought process. So “Sailor” Bob makes the comment, “What’s
wrong if you are not thinking about it?” It is a way he sums up this
whole thing. From this, you start to see some interesting things. For
example, a question is a thought. A worry is a thought. A sense of a
problem is a thought. Concern about what others are thinking about
me is a thought. Worry about what I should do is a thought. Your
beliefs and sense of who you are is a collection of thoughts. You
suddenly realize that all of these things are created by the
conceptual mind. If someone were to come in and wipe all of those
thoughts aside, what would be left? Only presence-awareness and
possibly some feelings and perceptions passing through, but no
personal suffering or conceptualization based on the separate “me”
idea. So—aha! The resolution presents itself.
Q: In this case there is just awareness and physical pain. You might
not define it as physical pain?
John: Yes, you might not even do that. Even labeling it as physical
pain is actually a thought construct. You may find that the actual
physical pain is not quite as intense as the mind makes it up to be.
You can see this for example in the case of an injury or accident. For
the most part, the body usually deals with it. If the mind jumps on it
and really starts amplifying it, building it up and expanding it, then
the psychological trouble is often more traumatic than the physical
situation.
What we are getting to here is the understanding of where
suffering comes from. To see that suffering is a creation of thought is
very important because if you are going to get to the cause, you
have to understand how it works. A lot of people think that suffering
is based on external events. But they are entirely misperceiving
where it is coming from. So how can they ever really get to the root
of it?
So suffering is a product of thought for the most part. When you
look closely at those thoughts, you notice that the ones that really
grab us are the ones that are talking about our sense of self or
personal identity. If I am sitting here and I am thinking any random
thought, such as “The moon is shining tonight.” Well, for most of us,
so what? There is not much of a reaction. It is just a passing thought.
But if a thought comes in that says, “I am no good” or “Somebody
does not like me” or “I am going to die” or whatever it might be, then
things get stickier. What is actually happening when such thoughts
come up is that they start to define me. They say something about
me and who I am. Looking in this way gives us a more accurate view
of what this suffering really is. “Sailor” Bob pointed this out to me
once. He defined suffering as self-centered thinking. In other words,
the thoughts concerning my identity or sense of “me” are the ones
that really get us stuck.
 If you tell me you think there is something wrong with you, there is
not much of a reaction here. But if I think there is something wrong
with me, then …. “Wait, wait, wait a minute!” (laughing). I do not like
that at all! Why don’t I like that? Because it is an incorrect statement
of who I truly am. So when you trace the suffering down to the next
level, you see these thoughts are about the self. If you are
observant, you start to see a pattern to all of this. It is not that there
is just “a” pain in the body. Rather, it is that “I” am in pain, or “I” have
got this pain, or “I” do not like this pain. So these thoughts get
referenced to a sense of self, an idea of self. You realize it is not just
the thoughts that are the problem. It is the way that they reference
the sense of “I.” This root notion of “I” is described in different ways,
either as the ego sense, the separate self, the “I”-thought or the
separate person. However you wish to describe it, it is the core of
this whole mechanism. It is what all the self-centered concepts seem
to be referring to.
All of the identifications attach to this core belief. The reason they
are troublesome is because that core belief is taken as valid, when in
fact it is completely erroneous.
If you tell me, “John, you are a blue elephant.” I would not believe
that for a second. I would not take that seriously. I do not associate
that concept as who I am. That notion is very patently false. I do not
believe it or identify with it at all. And, as a consequence, it does not
trouble me in the least. A concept only troubles you when you take it
on board and believe it. Without believing it, it is powerless. So in
order to believe and suffer under a concept, such as “I am not
enlightened,” you must have the intermediate step of taking the “I”-
thought as valid. You have to have the “I” that is not enlightened or
whatever the identification happens to be. This understanding allows
us to get to the roots of this very directly. Instead of picking off all the
possible thoughts and beliefs that we have picked up over the years,
we can take this to the core and realize that there is a lynch pin
holding all of this together. If you knock out the root cause, the belief
in the “I,” then there is nowhere for any other identifications to take
hold. Nothing attaches anymore. This shows that it is possible to
expose the core of the belief and resolve the whole network of
suffering conclusively.
It is important to see where all the concepts and beliefs came
from. It is all just stuff that we picked up over the years because we
did not know any better. The notion of being a limited, separate “I”
gets picked up in the mind at a young age. It is not questioned. It is
assumed to be real. From there, we start believing in a lot of things
that are attached to the sense of self. People tell us a lot of things.
“You are a body. You are a good boy. You are a student. You are this,
that and the other.” All these things are basically just conceptual
definitions, right? When we become spiritual seekers we start
identifying with a lot of spiritual beliefs, such as “I am a spiritual
person. I am a Buddhist. I am on the path to enlightenment.” But the
truth is that you are not on a path at all. That is a total construct. It is
all still definitions of a seemingly separate entity. Only now you have
a new set of definitions. You are a seeker after enlightenment. Those
notions generate just as much suffering as experienced by any so-
called non-spiritual person. At the core of it is the notion that I am not
whole and complete. I am separate. There is something apart from
me. I am not there yet. I am not good enough. Hopefully something
is going to fix me. You are still completely locked into this conceptual
framework. Spiritual seekers may or may not be ready to question
some of these spiritual concepts. But they are still part of the same
mechanism. Your nature of innate awareness is not a Buddhist or a
Dzogchen practitioner!
So how do you take care of this whole thing and wrap up the
show? The central proposition is that the reason we suffer is due to a
residual belief in the reality of this core concept. That belief fuels the
rest of these habitual thoughts and keeps us focused on the mind.
We assume that the central “I” is valid. I had heard about this as a
concept for many years before meeting “Sailor” Bob. I remember
reading some Buddhist teachings that described the root of all
suffering was the belief in a sense of separate self. I suppose every
good Buddhist knows that! But what I did not realize was how to
apply that and what it really meant. Even though I had been exposed
to that pointer years ago, I was clearly still functioning from a sense
that I was a separate self.
 For example, when I went to Australia to see “Sailor” Bob, I was
thinking, “I am going to Australia. I need to get answers. I need to
find enlightenment. Perhaps he can help me. I am going to get
something that I a missing.” It was not clear to me that this whole
mindset was a complete belief system centered upon a seemingly
separate self. As that intrinsic presence of awareness which we truly
are, I did not have any need to go to Australia! I did not need to get
anything. There was nothing he could give me, in an absolute sense.
I even recall e-mailing him at one point about the desire to see him
and he said there was no need to come! He pointed out that I had
everything I needed already. But I was still operating under the false
belief in the separate “I.” And it turns out that there was something
that he helped me with, which was simply to show me what was
happening and to expose the false belief in who I thought I was so
that it could fall away in that seeing. Even though I got nothing from
“Sailor” Bob, I will be forever grateful for that nothing!
So the “I” thought is a total illusion. It is not even there. It is a
complete assumption. There is no evidence that it even exists. It is a
concept that has no real existence at all, except as an assumption.
When you really have a good look, you discover that the separate
person that we have taken ourself to be is an illusion. To be even
more emphatic, it does not even exist. It is not present. There is no
evidence of a limited separate self. When that is seen, when you
truly recognize this point, what happens is that this knocks the belief
out of the whole structure. So you have a look and realized there is
no separate “I.” I am not a deficient separate “I.” I am not a person. I
am not an entity like that at all. If someone comes along and says,
“Poor John is not enlightened” then who is that referring to? Once
that central lynch pin is questioned, all possible self-centered
thoughts are invalidated. The point “Sailor” Bob made to me was that
when you see that the “I” is not present, then all of your suffering,
seeking, doubts and problems are resolved. There is a cause and
effect to it. The central “I” thought is the cause, and the other beliefs
and concepts depend on that. So without the cause, can there be
any effects? This was the point he made.
This brings it all back home for us. Assuming we understand what
is being pointed out, then the question is—have we seen for
ourselves that the separate self is not present? I certainly did not see
it at first. If the mind throws up these identifications, such as “I am
this, I am that” and they are given reality or belief and taken as real,
then in spite of whatever theoretical understanding we have, we still
have not seen that the “I” is an invalid reference point. What was
strange for me was that I had been quite familiar with Ramana
Maharshi’s teachings. I was very aware of his teaching of “self
enquiry,” which was an analysis of the mind to see if the root “I”-
thought, as he called it, was there or not. He talked about this a lot
and it seemed to form the cornerstone of much of his teaching. So
when people approached him and said they were not yet free, he
kept saying things like, “Well, who are you talking about? Have a
look? What is that ‘I’ that is in bondage?” So I had heard something
along these lines, but it was not clear to me what was actually being
advised. I had met several Western teachers who were trying to
present Ramana’s teachings, although they had never met him. That
was a red flag in itself. Looking back, I see their understanding of
this was very unclear and confusing. As a result they have never
really helped anyone as far as I can see. “Sailor” Bob was able to
make this all very clear for me.
Let’s try to tie it all together now. You are already totally free.
There is nothing wrong with you. You already are that intrinsic reality
and always will be. There is not a damn thing wrong with you. There
is nothing you need to do. You can walk out this door at any time and
you are never anything except that pure freedom. Your nature is
simple, undeniable presence-awareness. It is not a separate person.
The separate person is born in thought as a concept. Then we see
that all that suffering is, is simply concepts about a fictitious self. It
survives through belief. It depends upon the notion that there is a
distinct separate self in our experience. That is all that is happening.
Then you take a step back and realize that it is all a conceptual
construct based on an erroneous view, a mistaken idea. What gets
pointed out is that there is no evidence that you stand as a separate
being apart from present awareness. You cannot find a separate “I”
in the picture at all.
No matter how hard you look, no matter where you look, no matter
how much you explore and examine, if you try to trace back and
locate this seemingly separate self, there is no evidence for it. You
will never find it. You cannot find it. There is nothing there. To see
this takes the belief out of the whole conceptual structure. There is
nothing theoretical about it. It is not even a practice. It is not
something that is “maybe, maybe not.” It is a very clearly
experienced thing, just as clear as if you thought that there was a
snake on the table and then you looked and realized there is no
snake here. There is nothing theoretical about that. You would no
longer be suffering under that belief.
So we need to have a look and examine to see where is this “I”
that is the root of all our troubles. What I like to say is that suffering
has a cause, but when you search for the cause you find that it does
not exist! In the recognition that the cause is non-existent the trouble
of suffering is resolved. So once we have heard all of this, we can
embrace this and recognize the truth of it for ourselves. There is
nothing difficult about it once we get the essentials clarified. There is
no need to wait around for years, practicing, waiting, hoping, doing
this, doing that. In all of that you can easily miss the root of it. And
the results of this understanding are immediately evident. When
suffering arises in our experience, it is now recognized as thoughts.
They are clearly seen to be about a separate self. Right out of the
gate, you are able to recognize and appreciate that the very root of
the mechanism is not valid. Is there any evidence of a separate self
? If so where is it? Did you ever find it? All these things are there for
you to see for yourself.
At one point it just dawned on me. I thought, “Here I am present
and aware. There is no doubt about it.” “There is no way I am
separate from that awareness.” I could see that as clear as day. I
would see some thoughts, feelings and perceptions go through. That
is all that I could see. I was looking at all this and thinking to myself,
“So, where is the separate self ?
Where is John Wheeler, the entity, the one who has all the problems
and doubts? I see thoughts come and go, but I do not see any
evidence that those thoughts are who I am. It is the same with the
feelings and sensations.” As you look in your direct experience, all
that you see are some thoughts, feelings and sensations going
through. So this person that we have taken ourselves to be is not
really present in direct experience. It is only an assumption. The
mind has created this notion, but there is nothing to substantiate it.
We cannot discover any particular thing that is the separate self. You
could say that the thought “I” is present as a thought. But that is a
thought. It is not who you are. You are the awareness that knows
that thought. The thought comes and goes. Even if you are not
thinking that thought, you are perfectly fine.
These are the things that become clear. Nisargadatta Maharaj
once said, “All suffering is based on the belief in a person, and there
is no person.” And that is the essence of it! That is what was pointed
out to me, and I found it was enough. You do not need anything
more. To see the truth of who you are and dispel the illusion of what
you are not is more than enough. My years of seeking, searching,
suffering, feeling limited, assuming I was a defective person—all that
just ended. And as we sit here right now, all there is, is this presence
of awareness. There may be a few things appearing in that, but none
of it is separate from awareness. The root of all suffering is the
notion that I stand apart from the intrinsic awareness. That belief in
separation feels limited. It creates a sense of being incomplete. It
fuels the search to define what that assumed person might be. But
come back to present experience, and you will see that you have
never been a separate being. You are being itself. You have never
stood apart. Therefore, the basis of all the conceptual suffering is
just simply invalid.
To view things from this perspective basically takes care of the
root of the problem. What can happen then? All that can possibly
ever happen to you is that the mind can generate residual habits
from the past. They used to come up a lot, so they might resurface in
the mind. But they do not touch awareness. They do not knock you
out of what you are. They do not refer to a real person because there
is nobody there. They are just like husks or lifeless things that show
up on the screen, but they are no longer believed. They float through
and leave you as you are. They do not mean anything about you.
They are just a mechanical, residual effect, like a spinning potter’s
wheel once the power is shut off. It is just an impersonal happening.
And chances are that, because there is less and less belief in them,
they will resolve and take care of themselves. They will be less and
less present to worry about. People sometimes feel that only when
thought activity stops happening and they do not have any self-
centered concepts coming up, that they will be free. Well, that is
falling back into another self-centered story! The thoughts are
impersonal. They do not even belong to awareness. They belong to
an image of an entity that died along the way because it is not real.
Who we thought we were is like an old, dead dream with no
substance.
After I met “Sailor” Bob, I was thinking, “When am I going to get
wrapped up in the seeking and doubts again? When are the
problems going to come back? It cannot be this simple!” Yet I
actually found that everything was perfectly resolved. I did not need
to work on it, perfect it, go back to “Sailor” Bob for a tune up or
anything like that. He just laid it all out on the table. I never heard it
so clearly from anybody. A lot of teachings hint about self-knowledge
and the truth of who we are, but then they push you right back into
the practices, the techniques, the gurus, the future attainments and
so on. So they have got you back in the mind again, thinking you are
not yet whole and complete. “Sailor” Bob was one of the few that
would say, “This is what it is. There is nothing else!” Or he used to
say, “There is nothing beyond ‘no thing.”You see this for yourself and
you are basically done with it. You are not going to get a practice or
a promise of enlightenment in the future. Who needs that when you
already are what you are seeking? I can say with full confidence that
this way of looking was absolutely able to resolve all my remaining
doubts. There is no doubt about it!
Things like karma or rebirth—all the traditional, doctrinal concepts
—are still in reference to the imagined entity. The clear view of things
knocks out the interest in a lot of that stuff. If you think, “I have still
got to do this. I have to do that”—well, that only applies if you are a
separate “I.” If you are pure awareness, which is intrinsically free by
nature, then you do not have any need to do anything at all. Who is
there to do anything if there is no person present? So all of the
spiritual concepts come tumbling down. It is all based on speaking to
the assumed entity. In Tibetan Buddhism it is said that Buddha’s
highest and most profound teaching was a direct pointing to our
innate nature of intrinsic awareness. But if people did not embrace
this view, then Buddha gave out various relative teachings. Why? To
address the conceptual position that people imagined themselves to
be in. But the highest teachings say very clearly that those relative
teachings are incapable of yielding lasting freedom. The reason is
that they are all based on a false premise. They are only given as a
stepping stone for someone who is totally committed to the idea that
they are some kind of entity. But those relative doctrines are not the
highest teaching. They are not the central teaching. They are not
capable of revealing our innate and ever-present freedom. For that,
you must relinquish all concepts, paths and approaches and see that
here and now you are free, because you have never for a moment
been anything other than that pure presence-awareness itself.
Further Titles from Non-Duality
Press
What’s Wrong with Right Now?, ‘Sailor’ Bob Adamson

Presence-Awareness,’ Sailor’ Bob Adamson

Awakening to the Dream, Leo Hartong

From Self to Self, Leo Hartong

Already Awake, Nathan Gill

Being: the bottom line, Nathan Gill

Awakening to the Natural State, John Wheeler

Shining in Plain View, John Wheeler

Right Here, Right Now, John Wheeler

This is Unimaginable & Unavoidable, Guy Smith

Perfect Brilliant Stillness, David Carse

Oneness, John Greven

I Hope You Die Soon, Richard Sylvester

Awake in the Heartland, Joan Tollifson

Be Who You Are, Jean Klein

Who Am I?, Jean Klein

I Am, Jean Klein

Beyond Knowledge, Jean Klein

Living Truth, Jean Klein

Life Without a Center, Jeff Foster