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Rewrite Test 4-Done

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Hiền Cao Minh
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63 views

Rewrite Test 4-Done

Uploaded by

Hiền Cao Minh
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Some people think watching TV is bad for children, while others think that watching TV has

more beneficial effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Thanks to the industrial revolution, children have soon gained more opportunities to access to
various cutting-edge technical devices, typically television. While some people hold the belief
that it is advantageous for kids to watch TV on account of its educational programs, I support Commented [NH1]: Inappropriate. On account of =
that watching telly leads to health problems and misleading images and behaviors for children. because of but you mentioned educational programs, not
relevant
Commented [NH2]: Quite informal, should be avoided

On the one hand, there is no doubt to say that watching television acts as an teaching method for
young viewers. This is because there is a majority of educational programs and channels in every Commented [NH3]: Incorrect word choice --> a number of
sector, which can facilitate more scopes for them to acquire and comprehend useful information.
For instnace, some programs like “Planet Earth” or “Discovery Channel” do not only take Commented [NH4]: spelling
children into unknow natural habitats which are home to various plants and animals, but also
educate them about the importance of preserving the wonders of the Earth. Such the practical and
handy knowledge, they do not just enhance their academic performance but also bahave well in Commented [NH5]: spelling
some particular daily situations. Commented [NH6]: Chương trình dạy về preserving the
wonders of the Earth thì liên quan gì đến daily situations e?

On the other hand, I believe that there are numerous drawbacks of viewing TV for kids. Firstly,
sitting in front of TV screens for too long can foster the increase in health problems. Many Commented [NH7]: Inappropriate word choice
children have to suffer from various well-being issues like obesity, eye strain or fatigue due to Commented [NH8]: an
watching too much TV. Thus, they have to confront with major obstacles in every daily activity
from healthcare to studying. Secondly, watching telly also results to misleading thoughts for Commented [NH9]: Đang nói về health rồi lại studying là
young views. In fact, many TV programs contain violent content and sexual images which are sao???

not appropriate for them to watch. Such heavy exposure to violent or sexual movies can put a Commented [NH10]: in
child at a higher risk of unexpectedly negative behaviors, which could ruin their future and create
a long-hold obsession later.

In conclusion, notwithstanding some educational contents which are suitable and useful for kids Commented [NH11]: No “s” when you are referring to
on TV, I confirm that there are more detrimental impacts of viewing telly for them. It is advised what the program is about, content with an “s” refers to
what’s inside a box, bag, room etc
that parents should partners who are selective and careful in opting for the most high-quality and
Commented [NH12]: Should partners???
suitable for their offspring.

Try to include more relevant examples in your body paragraph!


Be careful with basic aspects such as prepositions after verbs, spelling etc.

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