Characteristics of a counselor

There are six personal characteristics that are critical for good counselors and should
be improved upon continually. These include having good interpersonal skills and being
trustworthy, flexible, hopeful/ optimistic, culturally sensitive, and self-aware.

The Meaning of Hope and Optimism

Hope and optimism are often used interchangeably. “I’m hopeful about my prospects”
or “I’m optimistic about the future.” But hope and optimism are two different concepts.

Hope is the belief that your future will be better than the present and that you have the
ability to make it happen. It involves both optimism and a can-do attitude. This definition of
hope is based on “Hope Theory,” a positive psychology concept developed by American
psychologist Charles Snyder.

Optimism is an attitude characterized by hope, according to the American

Psychological Association (APA). When you are optimistic, you feel like positive things will
happen and that things can change for the better.

First, let’s understand what hope is. Many people confuse optimism with hope.

Charles R. Snyder, author of “The Psychology of Hope,” defined hope as the

tendency to see desired goals as possible, and to approach those goals with “agency
thinking,” a belief that you or others have the ability to achieve the goals. He also defined
hope as “pathways thinking,” a focus on mapping routes and plans to achieve those goals.

Optimism is different. Psychologist Charles Carver defines optimism as a general

expectation that good things will happen in the future. Optimists tend to seek out the positive
and, at times, deny or avoid negative information. In sum, optimism is about expecting good
things; hope is about how we plan and act to achieve what we want.

How to develop “Hope and Opitimism”

Here are five key strategies to cultivate hope in these trying times:

1. Do something – start with goals

Hopeful people do not wish – they imagine and act. They establish clear, achievable
goals and make a clear plan. They believe in their agency – that is, their capacity to achieve
the outcomes. They recognize that their path will be marked by stresses, roadblocks and
failure. According to psychologists such as Snyder and others, people who are hopeful are
able to “anticipate these barriers” and they “choose” the right “pathways.”

Further, hopeful people adapt. When their hopes are thwarted, they tend to become
more focused on doing things to achieve their goals.

As psychologist Eddie Tong writes, “hopeful people tend to think that desired goals
are attainable even if personal resources are exhausted.” In other words, people of hope
persist even when prospects may not be so favorable.
 Importantly, evidence suggests that the belief that one is capable of achieving one’s
goals may be more important for hope than knowing how to achieve those goals.

2. Harness the power of uncertainty

Several researchers have argued that, for hope to arise, individuals need to be able to
perceive the “possibility of success.”

Research shows that many of life’s uncertainties could help people cultivate hope in
difficult times. For example, a 2017 study showed that parents of children diagnosed with
multiple sclerosis used the fact that so little is known about the condition in childhood to fuel
and sustain their sense of hope. Parents reasoned that since it is so hard to accurately
diagnose childhood multiple sclerosis and prognosis is so varied, there was a chance that their
children were misdiagnosed and they could recover and live normal lives.

In sum, a future that is uncertain holds lots of possibilities. As such, uncertainty is not
reason for paralysis – it is a reason to hope.

3. Manage your attention

Hopeful and optimistic people show similarities and differences in the kinds of
emotional stimuli they pay attention to in the world.

For example, psychologist Lucas Kelberer and his colleagues found that optimists
tended to seek out positive images, such as that of happy people, and avoid images of people
who seem depressed.

Hopeful people did not necessarily seek out emotionally positive information.
However, people high on hope spent less time paying attention to emotionally sad or
threatening information.

In a world in which we are overwhelmed with options for what we read, watch and
listen to, maintaining hope may not require us to go after positive information, but it does
require that we avoid negative images and messages.

4. Seek community. Don’t go it alone

Hope is hard to sustain in isolation. Research demonstrates that for people working to
bring social change, particularly anti-poverty activists, relationships and community provided
the reason for hope and ignited their conviction to keep fighting. Connection to others
allowed activists to feel a sense of accountability, to recognize that their work mattered and
that they were part of something bigger than themselves.

Relationships are important, but health research also suggests that sustaining hope
depends, in part, on the particular company we keep. For example, parents of chronically ill
children often maintained hope by withdrawing from or avoiding interactions with negative
people who challenged their efforts to seek positive ends. We can stay hopeful if we connect
with others who hold us accountable and remind us of why our struggles matter.

5. Look at the evidence

 Hope also requires trust. Hopeful people stake their trust in data, particularly in
the evidence of history. Research demonstrates, for example, that anti-poverty activists drew
hope from knowing that, historically, when people joined together in resistance they were
able to create change.

Cultivating and sustaining hope, then, requires that we gather evidence from our own
lives, history and the world at large and use that evidence to guide our plans, pathways and
actions.

Hope also requires that we learn to use this data to effectively calibrate progress – no
matter how small.

Here are some things to try to develop optimism

 Notice good things as they happen. At the end of the day, take 10 minutes to run
through your day and come up with things that you're grateful for. Write them down
in a journal or keep track using a motivational app on your phone or tablet.
 Train your mind to believe you can make good things happen in your life. Get in
a habit of telling yourself specific things you can do to succeed. For example: "If I
study, I can get a better grade." "If I practice, I'll perform well at the audition." "If I go
on that volunteer trip, I'll meet new friends."
 Don't blame yourself when things go wrong. What does your inner voice say when
things don't go as planned? Instead of thinking, "I failed that math test because I'm
terrible at math," tell yourself: "I failed that test because I didn't study enough. I won't
let that happen next time!" Instead of saying, "Grace broke up with me because I'm
such a loser," think: "Now I know why people say breakups are so painful, but
hanging out with my friends will help me feel better again."
 When something good happens, give yourself credit. Think of what you did to
make a good outcome possible. Did you prepare for the test? Practice with
dedication? Think of the strengths you used and how they helped you succeed.
 Remind yourself that setbacks are temporary. As soon as something goes wrong,
remind yourself that it will pass — and come up with a plan for making that happen.
For example: "My SAT results aren't what I hoped, but I can study more and take the
test again."
 Notice how other people talk about themselves. Are friends and family members
optimistic or pessimistic? For example, does your dad say, "I burned the hot dogs, I'm
just a terrible cook!"? Or does he say: "I burned the hot dogs because I got distracted
watching the dog chase a squirrel around the backyard!"?

Optimism is a thinking style that can be learned, which means that pessimism can be
unlearned! It can take a little while, so don't feel discouraged. Becoming more aware of the
two styles can gradually help you start noticing more ways to be optimistic. Just keep telling
yourself, "I can be more optimistic and I'm going to keep practicing!"

Mg Kyaw Myint Htay

၁ မဟ/ပည (စိတ်) - ၅

GC – 611`