Self Esteem

Self-esteem refers to a person’s overall sense of his or her value or worth. It can be
considered a sort of measure of how much a person “values, approves of, appreciates, prizes,
or likes him or herself” (Adler & Stewart, 2004).
According to self-esteem expert Morris Rosenberg, self-esteem is quite simply one’s attitude
toward oneself (1965). He described it as a “favourable or unfavourable attitude toward the
self”.
Various factors believed to influence our self-esteem include:
Genetics
Personality
Life experiences
Age
Health
Thoughts
Social circumstances
The reactions of others
Comparing the self to others
Characteristics of High Self Esteem People:

● being open to criticism, acknowledging mistakes, being comfortable with giving and
receiving compliments, and displaying a harmony between what one says, does,
looks, sounds, and moves.
● People with high self-esteem are unafraid to show their curiosity, discuss their
experiences, ideas, and opportunities. They can also enjoy the humorous aspects of
their lives and are comfortable with social or personal assertiveness (Branden, 1992).
● Appreciate themselves and other people.

● Enjoy growing as a person and finding fulfillment and meaning in their lives.

● Are able to dig deep within themselves and be creative.

● Make their own decisions and conform to what others tell them to be and do only
when they agree.
● See the word in realistic terms, accepting other people the way they are while pushing
them toward greater confidence and a more positive direction.
● Can easily concentrate on solving problems in their lives.
 ● Have loving and respectful relationships.

● Know what their values are and live their lives accordingly.

● Speak up and tell others their opinions, calmly and kindly, and share their wants and
needs with others.
● Endeavor to make a constructive difference in other people’s lives (Smith & Harte,
n.d.).
There are some simple ways to tell if you have high self-esteem. For example, you likely
have high self-esteem if you:
Act assertively without experiencing any guilt, and feel at ease communicating with others.
Avoid dwelling on the past and focus on the present moment.
Believe you are equal to everyone else, no better and no worse.
Reject the attempts of others to manipulate you.
Recognize and accept a wide range of feelings, both positive and negative, and share them
within your healthy relationships.
Enjoy a healthy balance of work, play, and relaxation.
Accept challenges and take risks in order to grow, and learn from your mistakes when you
fail.
Handle criticism without taking it personally, with the knowledge that you are learning and
growing and that your worth is not dependent on the opinions of others.
Value yourself and communicate well with others, without fear of expressing your likes,
dislikes, and feelings.
Value others and accept them as they are without trying to change them (Self Esteem
Awareness, n.d.).
Characteristics of Low Self Esteem People:
You people please
You’re easily angered or irritated
You feel your opinion isn’t important
You hate you
What you do is never good enough
You’re highly sensitive to others opinions
The world doesn’t feel safe
You doubt every decision
You regularly experience the emotions of sadness and worthlessness
You find it hard keeping relationships
You avoid taking risks or trying new things
You engage in addictive avoidance behaviors
You struggle with confidence
You find it difficult creating boundaries
You give more attention to your weaknesses
You are often unsure of who you are
You feel negative experiences are all consuming
You struggle to say no
You find it difficult asking for your needs to be met
You hold a pessimistic or negative outlook on life
You doubt your abilities or chances of success
You frequently experience negative emotions, such as fear, anxiety or depression
You compare yourself with others and often you come in second best
How Self Esteem can be Enhanced:
1. Take a self-esteem inventory to give yourself a baseline.
It can be as simple as writing down 10 of your strengths and 10 of your weaknesses. This will
help you to begin developing an honest and realistic conception of yourself.
2. Set realistic expectations.
It’s important to set small, reachable goals that are within your power. For example, setting
an extremely high expectation or an expectation that someone else will change their behavior
is virtually guaranteed to make you feel like a failure, through no fault of your own.
3. Stop being a perfectionist.
Acknowledge both your accomplishments and mistakes. Nobody is perfect, and trying to be
will only lead to disappointment. Acknowledging your accomplishments and recognizing
your mistakes is the way to keep a positive outlook while learning and growing from your
mistakes.
4. Explore yourself.
The importance of knowing yourself and being at peace with who you are cannot be
overstated. This can take some trial and error, and you will constantly learn new things about
yourself, but it is a journey that should be undertaken with purpose and zeal.
5. Be willing to adjust your self-image.
We all change as we age and grow, and we must keep up with our ever-changing selves if we
want to set and achieve meaningful goals.
6. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Comparing ourselves to others is a trap that is extremely easy to fall into, especially today
with social media and the ability to project a polished, perfected appearance. The only person
you should compare yourself to is you (Grohol, 2011).

some helpful tips on enhancing your self-esteem, including:

Say “stop” to your inner critic.
Use healthier motivation habits.
Take a 2-minute self-appreciation break.
Write down 3 things in the evening that you can appreciate about yourself.
Do the right thing.
Replace the perfectionism.
Handle mistakes and failures in a more positive way.
Be kinder towards other people.
Try something new.
Stop falling into the comparison trap.
Spend more time with supportive people (and less time with destructive people).
Remember the “whys” of high self-esteem (Edberg, 2017).
Use distancing pronouns. When you are experiencing stress or negative self-talk, try putting
it in more distant terms (e.g., instead of saying “I am feeling ashamed,” try saying “Courtney
is feeling ashamed.”). This can help you to see the situation as a challenge rather than a
threat.
Remind yourself of your achievements. The best way to overcome imposter syndrome—the
belief that, despite all of your accomplishments, you are a failure and a fraud—is to list all of
your personal successes. You might be able to explain a couple of them away as a chance, but
they can’t all be due to luck!
Move more! This can be as simple as a short walk or as intense as a several-mile run, as
quick as striking a “power pose” or as long as a two-hour yoga session; it doesn’t matter
exactly what you do, just that you get more in touch with your body and improve both your
health and your confidence.
Use the “five-second” rule. No, not the one about food that is dropped on the ground! This
five-second rule is about following up good thoughts and inspiring ideas with action. Do
something to make that great idea happen within five seconds.
Practice visualizing your success. Close your eyes and take a few minutes to imagine the
scenario in which you have reached your goals, using all five senses and paying attention to
the details.
Be prepared—for whatever situation you are about to encounter. If you are going into a job
interview, make sure you have practiced, know about the company, and have some good
questions ready to ask. If you are going on a date, take some time to boost your confidence,
dress well, and have a plan A and a plan B (and maybe even a plan C!) to make sure it goes
well.
Limit your usage of social media. Spend less time looking at a screen and more time
experiencing the world around you.
Meditate. Establish a regular meditation practice to inspect your thoughts, observe them, and
separate yourself from them. Cultivating a sense of inner peace will go a long way towards
developing healthy self-esteem.
Keep your goals a secret. You don’t need to keep all of your hopes and dreams to yourself,
but make sure you save some of your goal striving and success for just you—it can make you
more likely to meet them and also more satisfied when you do.
Practice affirmations (like the ones listed later in this piece). Make time to regularly say
positive things about yourself and situations in which you often feel uncertain.
Build your confidence through failure. Use failure as an opportunity to learn and grow, and
seek out failure by trying new things and taking calculated risks (Laurinavicius, 2017).