Mindfulness

What is Mindfulness?

Have you ever been doing something, brushing your teeth, walking the dog, doing the washing up
etc., and suddenly realised that you have come to the end of what you were doing without really
noticing what has happened? If so you are not alone, this is something that we all do from time-to-time
as our minds wander off to thinking about other things and we switch onto “autopilot”.
Being on autopilot can be quite helpful at times, allowing us to problem solve, plan etc. while getting
on with the little things we need to do. However, there may be times when we experience unhelpful
thoughts (worries, doubts, self-criticism, painful memories) and painful feelings fighting for our
attention, making it hard to concentrate on what we are doing. At these times, we can feel
disconnected from life, rather than being an active participant. Another way of looking at this might be
we feel that we are watching a film of our life rather than starring in it. At these times, it can feel like
we are stuck on autopilot.
Mindfulness is the alternative to being on autopilot. Mindfulness involves paying attention to the
present moment; on purpose and without judgement (Kabat-Zinn, 1994). It is an approach by which
we may become more aware of our thoughts and feelings and more connected to our experiences.

Mindfulness can be practiced

The Practice of Mindfulness anytime, anywhere by noticing what
our mind is doing and gently
bringing ourselves back to the
present moment. It is very likely
that your mind will drift off
repeatedly. That is to be expected.
When you notice yourself drifting
off, merely bring yourself back to
focusing on whatever you were
focussing on - usually your breath.
You may have to bring yourself
back many times during
mindfulness practice. That’s ok. It
doesn't mean you are doing it
wrong. Our minds constantly pull us
out of the present moment. We are
gently practicing coming back to the
present whenever we notice we've
left it.
What are the benefits of practicing mindfulness?

There is a lot of evidence that mindfulness can help us to manage difficult thoughts and feelings. It
may also help us to improve our attention and concentration. It may help us to do this by:
 Helping to steady and ground us
 Enabling us to stay with our emotions until they disappear, so giving us a way of safely
managing them
 Giving us a “platform” from which to observe our thoughts and feelings – to allow us to see that
we are separate from our thoughts and feelings
 Helping us to become more aware of the times when our mind wanders off and better at bringing
it back to whatever we are doing
 To provide a tool for impulse control

Common Pitfalls
“It doesn't work for me!”

People often complain that mindfulness “doesn’t work for me”. This is usually because
they believe that mindfulness should make them feel a certain way. It is important to be
aware that mindfulness is not about “achieving a desired state”, it is simply about “being
with” our experiences.
You may notice yourself feeling relaxed. That's a nice by-product of mindfulness, but not
the goal. The goal is merely to be present as much as we can. And you may encounter
feelings - emotions, physical sensations - which you don't like. If that happens, see if you
can take an open and compassionate stance towards those feelings, without trying to
change them.

“But the problem hasn’t gone away!”

Another common complaint when people practice mindfulness is that it doesn’t solve the
problem. When people encounter difficult life events (e.g. exams, money worries, health
problems, relationship difficulties etc.) these often lead to painful thoughts and feelings.
People may turn to mindfulness at these times to try to cope, however become
frustrated when it doesn’t ‘fix’ the problem.
Mindfulness does not provide a way out of difficult life events, but may help the person
step back and observe their experiences. This may in turn give them the opportunity to
see things from a different perspective, or think about what else they might need to help
them through this time.

“I haven’t got time”

When people think of mindfulness their first thought is often about meditation and how
they might make time for this in their busy lives. However mindfulness, put simply, is
about paying attention. This is something we can do anytime, anywhere. There are a few
ideas below in the mindfulness exercises section about how you might be more mindful in
your day-to-day tasks.
Introducing Mindfulness to Children and Young People
First things first...
Establish your own practice. You would have trouble teaching your children to ride a bike if
you had never learned. To teach mindfulness to your children, you need to practice it yourself. There
are a few exercises below that might help you to begin to bring this into your life. Don't let this step
stop you, there are lots of simple ways to bring mindfulness into your life in small ways!
Keep it simple. Mindfulness is a big word for kids to understand. So perhaps introduce it as
paying attention: it is noticing our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and what is happening right
now.
Check your expectations. Are you expecting mindfulness to stop anger outbursts? To
eliminate worry? If so, you are likely to be disappointed. Remember that while feeling relaxed or
reducing anger might be nice side-effects of mindfulness, they
are not the ultimate goal. Mindfulness will not get rid of what is
normal child behaviour like tantrums, loudness, whining etc.
Don't force it. If your kids aren't interested drop it and
come back to it at another time.

Listen to the Bell

An easy way for children to practice mindfulness is to focus on paying attention to what they
can hear. You can use a bell, a set of chimes or a phone app that has sounds on it. Tell your
children that you will make the sound, and they should listen carefully until they can no
longer hear the sound (which is usually 30 seconds to a minute).

Practice with a Breathing Buddy

For young children, an instruction to simply "pay attention to the breath" can be hard to fol-
low. One way to make this easier may be to practice with a breathing buddy. Ask your child
to lie down and place a stuffed toy (their buddy) on their belly. They focus their attention on
the rise and fall of the stuffed animal as they breathe in and out.

Make your Walks Mindful – Go for a “Noticing Walk”

Take your child out for a walk and ask them to notice things that they haven’t seen before.
You might choose part of the walk to be completely silent and notice all the different sounds
you can hear, or a part to walk slowly and notice all the things that happen in our bodies
when we walk.
Establish a Gratitude Practice

Gratitude is a fundamental component of mindfulness and it is important to teach children to

appreciate the little things in their lives, as opposed to focusing on all the toys and goodies
that they crave. You might introduce this by having a time each day/week to share the things
you are thankful for (e.g. over dinner, just before bed).

Try the Spider Man Meditation!

For children that are obsessed with all

things superheroes, this can be really
effective. Ask them to activate their “spidey-
senses” and to notice everything they can
smell, taste, hear in the present moment.

Check your Personal Weather Report

In Sitting Still Like a Frog, Eline Snel encourages children to "summon the weather report
that best describes [their] feelings at the moment." Sunny, rainy, stormy, calm, windy, tsuna-
mi? This activity allows children to observe their present state without overly identifying with
their emotions. They can't change the weather outside, and we can't change our emotions
or feelings either. All we can change is how we relate to them. It allows children to notice
also that they are not their emotions. As Snel describes it, children can recognize, "I am not
the downpour, but I notice that it is raining”.

Make a Mind Jar

A mind jar is a bit like a snow globe - shake it up and watch the storm! But soon, if we sit and
breathe and simply watch the disturbance, it settles. As do our minds.

A version of this post first appeared on Sarah's blog Left Brain Buddha. You can follow Sarah on Facebook,
Pinterest, and Twitter. Follow Sarah Rudell Beach on Twitter: www.twitter.com/leftbrainbuddha
 Mindfulness Exercises for
Mindfulness in Your Morning Routine Busy Lives
Pick an activity that is part of your daily morning
routine, such as brushing your teeth, or having a
shower. When you do it, totally focus on what you are
doing: the body movements, the taste, the touch, the
smell, the sight, the sound etc.
For example, when you’re in the shower, notice the
sounds of the water as it sprays out of the nozzle, as it
hits your body and as it gurgles down the hole. Notice
the temperature of the water and the feel of it in your
hair and on your shoulders and running down our legs.
Notice the smell of the soap and shampoo and the feel
of them against your skin. Notice the sight of the water
droplets on the walls or shower screen, the water
dripping down your body and the steam rising
upwards. Notice the movements of your arms as you
wash or scrub or shampoo.
When thoughts arise, acknowledge them, let them be
and bring your attention back to the shower. Again and
again, your attention will wander. As soon as you
realize this has happened, gently acknowledge it, note
what distracted you, and bring your attention back to
the shower.

Take Ten Breaths

 Throughout the day, pause for a moment and take ten slow, deep breaths. Focus on
breathing out as slowly as possible, until the lungs are completely empty and breathing in
using your diaphragm.

 Notice the sensations of your lungs emptying and your ribcage falling as you breathe out.
Notice the rising and falling of your abdomen.

 Notice what thoughts are passing through your mind. Notice what feelings are passing
through your body.

 Observe those thoughts and feelings without judging them as good or bad and without
trying to change them, avoid them, or hold onto them. Simply observe them.
 Notice Five Things

This is a simple exercise to centre yourself and connect with your environment. Practice it
throughout the day, especially any time you find yourself getting caught up in your
thoughts and feelings.
 Pause for a moment

 Look around and notice five things you can see.

 Listen carefully and notice five things you can hear.

 Notice five things you can feel in contact with your body (E.g. Your watch against
your wrist, your trousers against your legs, the air upon your face, your feet upon the
floor, your back against the chair etc.).

Mindful Eating

How often do you get to the end of a meal without really noticing what you have eaten?
Mindful eating encourages us to slow down and to really pay attention to the experience of
eating; what does the food look like? What does it smell like? What do you notice about the
texture and taste? How do you know when you are full?

Helpful Links and Resources

https://www.headspace.com/
Head space is mindfulness made simple. There is an app which can be
downloaded to support mindfulness practice.

http://www.freemindfulness.org/download
This site provides a range of free audio downloads that can be used to support
mindfulness practice.

Books:
John Kabat-Zinn (2012). Mindfulness for Beginners: Reclaiming the Present
Moment-and Your Life.
Eline Snel (2014). Sitting still like a frog: mindfulness exercises for kids (and their
parents).

Alisa Reddy (2014). The art of mindfulness for children: mindfulness exercises that
will raise happier, confident, compassionate and calmer children.