HELPING YOU THROUGH PET LOSS

INTRODUCTION

Losing your pet is painful.

Grief is normal and natural, but society has taught
you that it is not acceptable to feel sad. Most people
consider their pet a part of the family, so losing your
pet can be traumaAc.
Because we live in a “feel good” society, we are raised
with misinformaAon about how to recover from pet
loss.
If you’ve tried to feel beHer, but sAll feel heartbroken
and alone, there is nothing wrong with you. It’s simply
a maHer of using the wrong tools. This eBook gives
you the right tools to start on the path to recovery
from the devastaAng loss of your pet.
 WHAT IS GRIEF?

• Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss,

including the loss of your pet.

• Grief is commonly associated with the death of a

person, but there are over 40 other types of loss,
including the loss of a pet.

• Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of, or

change in, a familiar pattern or habit.1 For example, if
you walk your dog every night at 5:00 pm you probably
miss that time together, but might also be relieved you
no longer have to rush home to walk him every night.

• Grief is the feeling of reaching out for your pet that has
always been there only to find that when you need him
again he is no longer there. This is especially true for
companion pets that afforded you love and friendship.
WHY AM I HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME?

Are you shocked at the intensity of your heartache?

You are not alone.
Humans have very unique relaAonships with their
pets. Pets love you uncondiAonally. They provide
company, joy and affecAon. They help you relax, offer
comfort when you’re lonely, and help you get
exercise! They love you when you’re in a good mood
and when you’re in a bad mood.
Owning a pet enhances your life, so it makes sense
that you’d be sad when you lose this special
companion. They are part of your family.
COMMON RESPONSES TO LOSING YOUR PET

• Hard Ame concentraAng

• Feeling numb
• Sleeping too much or not sleeping enough
• Hopelessness
• Looking around for your pet before realizing he is
gone
• Over eaAng or losing your appeAte
• Waves of emoAon
No two people grieve exactly the same, but these
reac7ons are common for many grievers going
through pet loss.
 HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE
GRIEVING THE LOSS OF YOUR PET

• Do you avoid thinking about your pet?

• Do you change the subject when people ask about
your pet?
• Do you talk for hours about your pet to anyone who
will listen?
• Do fond memories about your pet turn painful?
• Do you only remember good things about your pet?
• Do you only remember negaAve things about your
pet?
• Are you afraid to get a new pet?
• Did you get a new pet, but find it difficult to show it
the same kind of love as the one who died?
Unresolved grief is usually the cause of these feelings.
 GRIEVING THE LOSS OF YOUR
PET IS NORMAL AND NATURAL

Grief is usually mislabeled as ADHD, Depression,

PTSD, and other pathological condiAons.
Misdiagnoses means mistreatment.
Grief is not clinical depression, but the symptoms are
similar.
SomeAmes people who lose a pet are put on
medicaAon which could interfere with their ability to
recover from their broken hearts.
A study of almost 9000 paAents concluded that
people diagnosed as clinically depressed are actually
experiencing unresolved grief due to losses in their
past, including pet loss.2
 THERE ARE NO STAGES OF GRIEF

What people commonly refer to as stages of grief are

the stages a paAent goes through upon hearing they
have a terminal illness.

The concept of Stages of Grief came from Elizabeth

Kubler Ross’ work, “On Death and Dying”.3 The stages
are what a terminally ill paAent goes through when
they find out they are dying. Not what a griever
experiences following a loss.

Grief is individual and unique. Although many people

who lose a pet have similar emoAonal experiences
there are no set stages which they all experience.
 YOU ARE NOT ALONE

Over half the people in the United States own pets!

That’s over 162 million dogs, cats, fish, birds, repAles,
and other small animals.
Sadly the life expectancy of a pet is about 16 years,
which means almost all pet owners will experience
pet loss.
There are over 40 million pet losses around the world
each year.
There are 14 million cases of pet loss in the United
States alone.
On average, three people are affected by the loss of
each pet.
 MISINFORMATION YOU WERE
TAUGHT ABOUT GRIEF

Time heals all wounds. If Ame heals all wounds, how

much Ame does it take? Some people have waited
over 10 years to feel beHer. Many people sAll miss
their pets from childhood. Time doesn’t heal. It’s
what you do within that Ame that does.
Grieve alone. Did people avoid you aher your pet
died? Did they quickly change the subject when you
tried to talk about it? Did they later call you and say, “I
wanted to call, but figured you wanted space”. This
sends a clear message that you’re supposed to grieve
alone, when most grievers simply want to be listened
to with dignity and respect.
Don’t feel bad. Aher losing a pet it’s normal to feel
bad. When someone tells you not to feel bad it puts
you at odds with your nature.
Replace the loss. “This weekend we’ll get you a new
dog” is one of the most common suggesAons people
hear aher losing a pet. If you can’t replace a human,
you can’t replace a pet.
 MOVING PET LOSS FROM
THE HEAD TO THE HEART

All of the misinformaAon about recovering from pet

loss is well intenAoned, but it’s intellectual. We grieve
from our hearts, not our heads.
For example, if you put your sick dog to sleep, you
might feel happy that he is no longer suffering, but
you might also miss how he greeted you when you
walked through the door.
 WHAT’S SO BAD ABOUT
UNRESOLVED GRIEF?

Unresolved grief from pet loss limits your capacity for

happiness in your relaAonships with people and other
pets.
It doesn’t feel good.
It affects the quality of your life.
Unsolved grief causes you to alter your future choices
out of fear of being hurt again.
For example: many people won’t get a pet a@er
losing one because they don’t want their heart broken
again. They might be protec7ng their heart, but they
won’t feel the uncondi7onal love of having another
pet.
UNHELPFUL COMMENTS PEOPLE SAY

Did you know out of the 141 comments people hear

following a pet loss only 19 are helpful?

Have you heard any of these unhelpful comments

since losing your pet?
• You’ll feel beHer about your pet soon. It just takes
Ame.
• I know how you feel. My pet died last year.
• You should be grateful you had your dog for so long.

• Your cat is in a beHer place.

• Don’t feel bad, your horse was sick, but now he’s no
longer in pain.
• Look on the bright side, at least you had your dog
for ten years.
• You can always get another pet.

• Why are you so sad? It wasn’t a person,

It’s just a pet.
HELPFUL WAYS TO EXPRESS YOUR GRIEF

Speak with your heart not your head.

Go easy on yourself. Express your emoAons without
judgment, criAcism, or analysis.
Reach out for help even when you feel isolated.
Remember that every relaAonship is unique, so every
griever is unique. What you are going through might
be completely different from what your spouse is
going through, even though you lost the same pet.
Never say “I know how you feel” Instead, try “I can’t
imagine how you feel”.
WILL I EVER FEEL BETTER?

Grief Recovery means feeling beHer!

Recovery means you’ll be able to get a new pet and
love it with your whole heart.
Recovery means you can choose not to get a new pet
and the decision won’t be based on fear of losing it.
Recovery means you will be able to have fond
memories of your pet without having them turning
painful.
Recovery means you might miss your pet someAmes,
but you know it’s okay to talk about your feelings.
Recovery means feeling beHer without being afraid
you will forget your pet.
Recovery means gaining new skills that you should
have been taught as a child, and using those skills to
deal with your loss.
WHEN CAN I GET A NEW PET?

Time doesn’t heal, actions do. So the question is not how

much time should pass, but what work you have done to
become emotionally complete with the pet that died.

The Grief Recovery Method will give you the tools

to recover from the loss of your pet, so you are able
to make the legitimate choice of getting a new pet,
and be able to devote your heart to the new pet
and its unique persona.
You’ll recover from pet loss by making a series of small and correct choices.
Your first small and correct choice was downloading this eBook.

Recovery from pet loss isn’t easy.

Taking the actions that lead to recovery will require being
open-minded, willing and courageous.

If you’re ready to feel better please contact The Grief Recovery Method here…

www.GriefRecoveryMethod.com
Reference:

1 James, John W. and Friedman, Russell P. The Grief Recovery

Handbook, 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition. New York: Harper-
Collins, 2009.

2 Wakefield, Jerome C., PhD, DSW; Schmitz, Mark F., PhD; First,
Michael B. MD; Horwitz, Allan V., PhD. “Extending the Bereavement
Exclusion for Major Depression to Other Losses: Evidence from the
National Comorbidity Survey.” Arch Gen Psychiatry 64.4 (2007):
433-440.

3 Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, On Death and Dying. New York: Scribner,

1969.

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