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Eleanor and Park - Reading Guide 2021

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Eleanor and Park - Reading Guide 2021

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Abril 03
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1 Lengua I: Gramática – Cátedra: T7A – 3132

Prof. Titular: Francisco Zabala


Prof. Adjunto: Marcelo Videtta

Eleanor and Park

Literature
1. Paratext
a. Look at these two editions of the book cover. What predictions can
you make with regard to the content of the novel?
2. Author
a. Provide a brief profile of Rainbow Rowell. What kind of works has she
written?
b. When was the novel published? Does this date match the setting of
the novel? How can learning about the publication date help us read
between the lines?
3. Reader’s response:
a. How did you like the novel? Why?
b. What’s your favourite section in the novel? Why?
c. What’s parts did you find the least interesting? Why?
4. Describe the setting. What do you understand by the phrase “Middle
America”? (Omaha /ˈəʊməhɑː/)
5. Describe the main characters
6. Describe the themes/main ideas tackled in the novel
7. What are the narrative highlights in the novel?
8. Discuss the following ideas:
a) Rowell is unaware of her racism.
b) Who is othered in the narrative: Eleanor or Park?
c) Eleanor’s mother suspects that Richie’s aroused by her daughter.

Book Reviews & Interviews – Language Focus


Here’s a selection of some book reviews.

1. Read each text. Do you agree with these reviewers’ perceptions and opinions? Why?
2. Discuss the genre each of the reviews belongs to. What kind of authors do you have in mind?
3. Work on the words or sections I’ve highlighted. Look them up in the dictionary and/or have a look at their
structure.
2 Lengua I: Gramática – Cátedra: T7A – 3132
Prof. Titular: Francisco Zabala
Prof. Adjunto: Marcelo Videtta

Review 1:
https://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/10/books/review/eleanor-park-by-rainbow-rowell.html

Two Against the World


By John Green

March 8, 2013

When I began reading contemporary fiction in high school, I remember feeling that each book
was an absolute revelation. Whether I was reading Michael Crichton or Amy Tan or Tom
Robbins, there had never been anything like it before in my life. The novel’s novelty passes, of
course. I’m 35 now. I’ve read a dozen “we brought back the dinosaurs and they are mad” books.
I’ve seen the conventions, and I’ve seen them interrogated.

But I have never seen anything quite like “Eleanor & Park.” Rainbow Rowell’s first novel for
young adults is a beautiful, haunting love story — but I have seen those. It’s set in 1986, and God
knows I’ve seen that. There’s bullying, sibling rivalry, salvation through music and comics, a
monstrous stepparent — and I know, we’ve seen all this stuff. But you’ve never seen “Eleanor &
Park.” Its observational precision and richness make for very special reading.

Eleanor is a “big girl” with bright red hair (kids on the bus call her Big Red, and she describes
herself as resembling a barmaid) who has just returned to her home in Omaha, after being kicked
out for a year and forced to stay with acquaintances. Every moment Eleanor is home is terrifying
and claustrophobic — she shares a room with a mess of siblings and lives in constant fear of
offending her abusive alcoholic stepfather, Richie. She’s also poor — she cannot afford a
toothbrush or batteries for her Walkman. (Some readers may initially find this unrealistic, but
through the novel one comes to have a better understanding of how poverty interacts with abuse
to marginalize and oppress.)

Park is a half-Korean kid who’s passably popular but separated from the larger social order of his
school both by his race and by his passion for comic books and good music. On the first day of
school, Eleanor sits down next to him on the bus. Over time, she begins reading his comics over
his shoulder. Then he lends them to her. They bond over music. Eventually, they begin holding
hands on the rides to and from school.

The hand-holding, by the way, is intense. “Holding Eleanor’s hand was like holding a butterfly. Or
a heartbeat.” Evocative sensual descriptions are everywhere in this novel, but they always feel
true to the characters. Eleanor describes Park’s trench coat as smelling “like Irish Spring and a
little bit like potpourri and like something she couldn’t describe any other way than boy.” Park
watches Eleanor’s mouth so closely that he “could see that her lips had freckles, too.” After
Eleanor castigates him for saying she looks “nice,” Park thinks: “Eleanor was right: She never
looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make
you feel something.” And they are relentlessly, deliciously fascinated with the feel of each other’s
touch. Two-thirds of the way through the book, when Park realizes they’ve only touched north of
the chin and south of the wrists, I felt as flabbergasted as he does.

Every romance has its obstacle: I have another boyfriend; my parents say we can’t; you’re a
vampire and I’m not; etc. But the obstacle in “Eleanor & Park” is simply the world. The world
cannot stomach a relationship between a good-looking Korean kid and Big Red. The world cannot
allow Eleanor a boyfriend of any kind, because she’s poor and fat and dresses funny. The world
3 Lengua I: Gramática – Cátedra: T7A – 3132
Prof. Titular: Francisco Zabala
Prof. Adjunto: Marcelo Videtta

cannot allow Park a girlfriend because he likes wearing eyeliner, and everyone knows that’s gay.
The world is the obstacle, as it always is when you’re 16 and truly in love. Park’s parents — two of
the best-drawn adults I can remember in a young adult novel — serve as evidence that sometimes
love conquers the world, and Eleanor’s family is a reminder that sometimes it doesn’t. As for
Eleanor and Park . . . well, I won’t spoil it.

Early in the novel, Park’s English teacher asks him why “Romeo and Juliet” has survived 400
years. With Eleanor looking on, Park says: “Because people want to remember what it’s like to be
young? And in love?” After a moment, he adds, “Is that right?”

It is. “Eleanor & Park” reminded me not just what it’s like to be young and in love with a girl, but
also what it’s like to be young and in love with a book.

ELEANOR & PARK


By Rainbow Rowell
325 pp. St. Martin’s Griffin. $18.99. (Young adult; ages 14 to 18)

John Green is the author of “The Fault in Our Stars,” “Paper Towns,” “Looking for Alaska” and “An Abundance of
Katherines.”

Review 2:
https://www.nupoliticalreview.com/2018/10/31/the-problem-with-eleanor-park/

The Problem with Eleanor & Park


by CHANTAL CHEUNG, POLITICAL SCIENCE & ECONOMICS 2021

October 31, 2018

I initially began reading Eleanor & Park because it features an Asian-American protagonist who
doubles as the main love interest—a rare occurrence in popular contemporary American
literature. Upon being published in 2012, the young adult novel by Rainbow Rowell received
favorable reviews; it made NPR’s list of Best Books of 2013, won the 2013 Boston Globe-Horn
Book Award for Fiction, and in 2014 was awarded the Michael L. Printz Award for Excellence in
Young Adult Literature.[1][2]

If it’s such a great romance novel that features the rare Asian-American protagonist, why didn’t
I love it?

The young love story takes place in the late 1980s, in Omaha, Nebraska. Park Sheridan is a
half-Korean, half-white high school student from an upper-middle class family. He enjoys
spending his time listening to music and reading comic books, and is also deeply insecure
about his Korean identity. Eleanor is described as an overweight redhead who comes from a
poor, abusive household. She often comes off as closed-off, snarky, and insecure, although
readers get a better glimpse into her mind when the perspective switches from Park’s to
hers. Eleanor & Park is essentially a high school love story that tries to grapple with issues of
poverty, domestic abuse, racism, and so on—but ultimately falls short.
4 Lengua I: Gramática – Cátedra: T7A – 3132
Prof. Titular: Francisco Zabala
Prof. Adjunto: Marcelo Videtta

As this article is a response to a particular book’s portrayal of an East Asian character, the
analysis will consequently be on representation and implications regarding East Asians in
America. This is an important distinction to make, as non-East Asians are often grouped and
erased under typical Asian stereotypes that predominantly apply to Asians who gain privilege
from their proximity to whiteness. The erasure of non-East Asians must be recognized as an
important issue in broader discussions of Asian representation, and how “Asian American” is a
politically created identity that effectively ignores diversity among Asians living in America.[3]

Eleanor & Park perpetuates stereotypes and contributes to the fetishization of East Asians, as
well as depicts a toxic power dynamic between an interracial couple as an example of romance.
The book does more harm than good in terms of East Asian representation in popular media.
Problematic representation can have harmful implications for those being misrepresented,
particularly when it is marketed as a cute love story towards a young and impressionable
audience.

It’s important to begin by recognizing the potential problems with writing authentic characters
with identities removed from the author. Rainbow Rowell is a white American woman who grew
up in Omaha, the predominantly white city in which the story takes place. Non-hispanic whites
make up 67.2% of the population, while Asians and Asian Americans make up only 3.3%.[4]
Rowell has shared that she grew up in a “really poor, really white” neighborhood, and that her
junior high school had very few Asian people.[5] Consequently, she had little exposure to what
it was like to be an Asian American in that context. So why did Rowell choose to write a Korean
protagonist? Rowell herself has admitted that the first time she was asked this question, she
shrugged: “I write [characters] the way I see them, and usually never come back to think about
why.”[6] She admits that little conscious thought was initially given to Park’s identity, as well as
to all of the potential implications attached to writing him. She only later addressed the
importance of diversity in literature after being pushed by fans to address it.

If authors don’t have their own experiences on which to base their writing, they must do
thorough research to ensure that their fictional depiction is respectful and genuine. That kind
of meticulous and empathetic research takes time and effort. As I read Eleanor & Park, it
increasingly became clear to me that Rowell did very little, if any, research on what it is like to
be an East Asian American. Or, if she did, she chose not to include it.

The first issue that stood out to me is that “Park” is a common Korean last name. At first, I
thought that it was his last name, and that he was using it as his first name as a form of
reclaiming his Korean heritage. However, it was revealed that his full name is Park Sheridan. It
is a similar case to J.K. Rowling’s Cho Chang; a quick Google search reveals that the so-called
first name of an Asian character is actually a common last name. Although in Eleanor &
Park, one could argue that it was Park’s parents’ way of keeping him connected to his Korean
culture, it is unlikely given the fact that his mother changed her name to Mindy when she
moved to America, in order to better assimilate. Rowell likely chose the name as a means of
reinforcing Park’s Asianness, and by extension his otherness, in contrast to Eleanor.

Throughout the book, there is constant focus on Park’s otherness. His mixed-race identity is
often reduced down to a plot device for the white protagonist to fetishize and project upon. The
frequent mention of Park’s green eyes does less to contribute to his character, and more to
emphasize how “exotic” he seems to Eleanor. Throughout the book, Eleanor repeatedly
mentions the phrase, “stupid, Asian kid,” when referring to Park. The phrase sprung from her
negative first impression of Park, but eventually becomes a phrase of endearment.[7] She is
fixated on the very fact that Park is Korean: “Maybe I’m attracted to Korean guys… and I don’t
even know it.”[8]
5 Lengua I: Gramática – Cátedra: T7A – 3132
Prof. Titular: Francisco Zabala
Prof. Adjunto: Marcelo Videtta

Park himself embodies many common East Asian stereotypes. He does taekwondo, excels in
math, struggles in English, and is often described as small and feminine-looking. He is
described as likely never getting any taller than five-foot-four, taking after his mother’s slender
build, in contrast to his macho father and younger brother. In fact, “all the women in his family
were tiny, and all the men were huge,” while “only Park’s DNA had missed the memo.”[9] Even
Park’s younger brother “looked like a big German or Polish kid.”[10] This further reinforces the
stereotype that East Asians are small, and emphasizes Park’s differences in relation to the
white and more white-passing characters.

Not only does Park embody many East Asian stereotypes, but he also harbors severe
internalized racism. He has low self-esteem because he is smaller than his younger brother,
and also looks more Asian. He once admits to Eleanor that he thinks nobody finds Asian boys
attractive. Park believes that it’s different for Asian girls because society, particularly white
men, views them as exotic, and that “everything that makes Asian girls seem exotic makes
Asian guys seem like girls.”[11]

Rowell also perpetuates stereotypes through Park’s mother. There is focus on how Park’s
mother is petite and slender, a common stereotype about East Asian women. Eleanor in
particular focuses a lot on Park’s mother’s appearance: “His mom looked exactly like a
doll…tiny and perfect…Eleanor imagined Park’s dad, Tom Selleck, tucking his Dainty China
person into his flak jacket and sneaking her out of Korea.”[12] The comparison is supposed to
be a compliment on how delicate and “perfect” Park’s mother is; however this comparison is
insulting and inaccurate, as Eleanor calls a Korean woman a “Dainty China person.” It serves
to further the fetishization of Asian women by non-Asians, as well as uphold the view that
Asians as a group are monolithic.

There is also a strange predator-prey dynamic between Eleanor and Park. Eleanor often uses
food metaphors when describing Park, and sometimes alludes to the fact that she wants to eat
him. At one point, Eleanor bluntly tells Park he makes her feel like a cannibal.[13] When
Eleanor describes her feeling of wanting Park to touch her again, she refers to herself as “one of
those dogs who’ve tasted human blood and can’t stop biting. A walrus who’s tasted human
blood.”[14] In this sense, Eleanor is the predator and Park is the prey, and an uncomfortable
power dynamic between the two is established by the dominance Eleanor has over Park.

So why does any of this matter? Diverse and authentic representation in popular culture is
important because our culture shapes how we expect people who look a certain way to act,
what their personality and temperament should be, what sort of job they likely have, and so
on.[15] The problem with American media like Eleanor & Park perpetuating such stereotypes,
even the “positive” ones, is that it reinforces a very narrow definition of how Asian people
should look and act. Stereotypes attempt to establish what is “normal” for a marginalized
group—even though in the case of Asian Americans, the broad stereotype is only meant to
apply to a fraction of the community. East Asian men are often emasculated in Western media,
as is the case with Eleanor & Park, and that can negatively impact how East Asian men
growing up in the U.S. view themselves.[16] If East Asian men are strictly portrayed as short,
good at math, bad at English, and knowing some form of martial arts, what does that say about
those who don’t fit the bill?

The stereotype that East Asian women are slender, petite, and dainty is also harmful; women
who don’t fit into this narrow stereotype are underrepresented in media and thus can have a
negative view of themselves.[17] Furthermore, this description feeds into the racist stereotype
that “Asian women are seen as naturally inclined to serve men sexually and are also thought of
as slim, light-skinned and small, in adherence to Western norms of femininity.”[18] This limited
portrayal is overwhelmingly seen as something positive in Western media, despite the
6 Lengua I: Gramática – Cátedra: T7A – 3132
Prof. Titular: Francisco Zabala
Prof. Adjunto: Marcelo Videtta

stereotype having troubling roots from America’s postwar military incursions in East Asia. In
South Korea alone, an “estimated 300,000 women were working in the sex trade by 1958 [after
the end of the Korean War], with more than half employed in the ‘camptowns’ around the
American bases.”[19] Therefore, it’s even more shocking that when Rowell describes Park’s
mother as “a dainty China doll” that his white father brought back from Korea, she does so with
implicit intent. Rowell claims that she was influenced by her father’s service in South Korea,
and the fact that he always carried a picture of an unnamed Korean girl with him; Rowell
suspected that her father had always been in love with the girl.[20] Through Eleanor, who may
have had good intentions but was nevertheless ignorant, Rowell romanticizes the
dehumanization of East Asian women as objects for white men to bring home.

As previously mentioned, even seemingly “positive” stereotypes are harmful. Accepting


stereotypes is harmful because it’s based on the idea that “we can know things about people
based on what we know about their group.”[21] Positive stereotypes are complex and often
inextricable from negative ones, such as the model minority myth. When some Asians are
designated as the model minority, all Asians are mistakenly believed to have overcome racial
discrimination. It’s important here to recognize that the model minority myth applies
predominantly to newly immigrated Indian and East Asians. By failing to make this distinction,
disparities and diversity amongst Asian populations are erased. Bhutanese-Americans, for
example, have “far higher rates of poverty than other Asian populations, like Japanese-
Americans.”[22] When people don’t live up to stereotypes, however positive they may seem, they
can “feel like failures,” such as Asians who are not good at math.[23] When they do uphold
stereotypes, their hard work and effort are invalidated with comments such as, “you’re good at
math because you’re Asian.” By accepting stereotypes that become mainstream, the factors that
led to those stereotypes are forgotten or ignored.

Negative and narrow representation causes real harm to under- and misrepresented groups,
through both pressure and erasure. It negatively impacts the way groups view themselves, as
well as the way they are viewed by others.[24] Seeing accurate and diverse representation in
media is crucial because it allows people to feel culturally accepted and validated as part of a
larger society, and it allows others to view people from marginalized groups as individuals.[25]
Some may argue that one book with a poorly-written East Asian-American character isn’t going
to harm the Asian-American community as a whole. And they’re probably right; one book alone
won’t have a huge impact on how Asian Americans view themselves and how others view them.
However, this one book is representative of a much larger issue that affects Asians in America
daily, and a critical perspective is long overdue.

SOURCES:
[1] Bowers, Jeremy, Nicole Cohen, Danny DeBelius, Camila Domonoske, Rose Friedman, Christopher Groskopf,
Petra Mayer, Beth Novey and Shelly Tan. “NPR’s Book Concierge: Our Guide To 2013’s Great Reads.” NPR. Accessed
October 8, 2018. http://apps.npr.org/best-books-2013/
[2] Rowell, Rainbow. “ELEANOR & PARK.” Rainbowrowell.com. Accessed October 8,
2018. http://www.rainbowrowell.com/eleanor-park/
[3] Ukani, Alisha. “Finding the ‘Asian’ in ‘South Asian.’” Harvard Political Review. July 12,
2017. http://harvardpolitics.com/culture/finding-the-asian-in-south-asian/
[4] U.S. Census Bureau. “Omaha City, Nebraska.”
2010. https://www.census.gov/quickfacts/fact/table/omahacitynebraska/PST045217
[5] Rowell, Rainbow. “Why is Park Korean?” Rainbowrowell.com. April 28,
2013. http://www.rainbowrowell.com/news/2015/4/7/why-is-park-korean
[6] Ibid.
[7] Rowell, Rainbow. Eleanor & Park. New York: St. Martin’s, 2013. Page 12.
[8] Ibid. Page 273.
[9] Ibid. Page 117.
[10] Ibid.
[11] Ibid. Page 272.
[12] Ibid. Page 126.
[13] Ibid. Page 113.
[14] Ibid. Page 234.
7 Lengua I: Gramática – Cátedra: T7A – 3132
Prof. Titular: Francisco Zabala
Prof. Adjunto: Marcelo Videtta

[15] Boboltz, Sarah, and Kimberly Yam. “Why On-Screen Representation Actually Matters.” Huffington Post.
February 24, 2017. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-on-screen-representation-
matters_us_58aeae96e4b01406012fe49d
[16] Chiu, Allyson. “‘Asian, ew gross’: How the ‘Crazy Rich Asians’ movie could help change stereotypes about Asian
men.” The Washington Post,. August 3, 2018.https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-
mix/wp/2018/08/03/asian-ew-gross-how-the-crazy-rich-asians-movie-could-help-change-stereotypes-about-asian-
men/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.d6f1363da186
[17] Prois, Jessica, and Gabriela Landazuri Saltos. “Asian Bodies That Proudly Defy An Archetype.” Huffington Post.
May 8, 2018. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/asian-american-body-image_us_5aea06bfe4b06748dc8effe7
[18] Lim, Audrea. “The Alt-Right’s Asian Fetish.” New York Times. January 06,
2018.https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/06/opinion/sunday/alt-right-asian-fetish.html
[19] Ibid.
[20] Rowell, Rainbow. “Why is Park Korean?”
[21] Devarajan, Kumari. “’Strong’ Black Woman? ‘Smart’ Asian Man? The Downside To Positive Stereotypes.” NPR.
February 17, 2018. https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2018/02/17/586181350/strong-black-woman-
smart-asian-man-the-downside-to-positive-stereotypes
[22] Chow, Kat. “’Model Minority’ Myth Again Used As A Racial Wedge Between Asians And Blacks.” NPR. April 19,
2017. https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2017/04/19/524571669/model-minority-myth-again-used-as-a-
racial-wedge-between-asians-and-blacks
[23] Devarajan, Kumari. “’Strong’ Black Woman? ‘Smart’ Asian Man? The Downside To Positive Stereotypes.”
[24] Ibid.
[25] Truong, Kimberly. “Asian Representation In Film Is Getting Better — Here’s Why That Matters.” Refinery29.
January 19, 2018. https://www.refinery29.com/2018/01/187984/asian-actress-representation-kelly-marie-tran

Review 3:
https://www.theguardian.com/childrens-books-site/2014/aug/15/review-eleanor-and-park-rainbow-
rowell#:~:text=After%20I%20finished%20it%20I,her%20best%20writing%20so%20far.

Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell - review

'Rainbow Rowell has truly outdone herself and in my opinion this is her
best writing so far'
Summer Aurora

August 15, 2014

Eleanor and Park is defiantly not the typical high school romance. Eleanor is the new girl, the
girl with the crazy red hair and the strange clothes. Park is the quiet Asian boy who does
everything in his power to avoid bringing attention to himself: until Eleanor walks onto the bus.
The two awkwardly sit together never speaking, until they come to the conclusion that they
share a common interest in comics and good music. Once their barrier of silence is broken they
are propelled into a whirlwind of first love. And while neither has a perfect life they manage to
find solace with each other.
I just have to start with the fact that this book just blew me away. After I finished it I genuinely
contemplated re-reading it straight away. I couldn't pick up another book for three days, I was
dazed.

Eleanor and Park is a beautifully crafted masterpiece of a book. Rainbow Rowell has truly
outdone herself and in my opinion this is her best writing so far.
From the very first page I knew I would enjoy this book, even at this early stage the characters
appeared perfectly cast and I could immediately identify with them. Shortly following, it
appeared that Rowell had structured this book to be in both Eleanor's and Park's point of view.
A better decision has never been made. Having the ability to switch between what both
8 Lengua I: Gramática – Cátedra: T7A – 3132
Prof. Titular: Francisco Zabala
Prof. Adjunto: Marcelo Videtta

characters were feeling and their backgrounds made this book whole. Some romances can be
very one sided and you read through it constantly having to guess about the secondary
character; thus not developing as much a connection with them. However both characters
where so unique and well written that I felt personally intertwined between their story. Eleanor
comes from a very dysfunctional family. After Eleanor's father left them, Eleanor and her four
siblings are forces to move into a tiny shack of a houses as their mother remarries. They have
so little money that toothbrushes have become a luxury and all five sleep in one cramped room.
To top this off their new stepfather is a beast who will stop at nothing to get rid of them one by
one. Eleanor's family life causes her to become somewhat of an introvert but her true character
always shines through. She is made to have quite a sceptical personality but deep down she
knows what she wants and that she does truly love Park.

While Park has a much more stable family life he constantly struggles for the approval of his
father. However, after years of trying Park eventually just comes into himself whether his father
likes it or not. This persistence speaks volumes about his personality. While Eleanor has her
doubts Park makes them work. Their relationship is realistic and it is obvious that they were
meant to find each other. His devotion saves Eleanor in every way it possibly can. He is truly a
hero.

All in all while the two fell in love with each other I simultaneously fell in love with them.
Not only can Rowell write a kick-ass plot and characters, her actual writing was frankly some of
the best I have read in a long time. Whatever came out of either characters mouth was silky
and beautiful. Any page can be opened and a quote will be there, good enough to memorise.
The way they speak, to, and about, each other makes me renew my faith in humanity. One of
my favorites: "Eleanor was right. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't
supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something." How can you not fall in
love with this? There is just such an overwhelming power to this book that will swallow you and
not leave. Rowell encaptures everything that a good romance should be, together with so much
more. Everything is unwrapped from the awkwardness to the love. The ending left me craving
so much more of it. The last page left me confused and a complete wreck. Honestly, it hurt, and
I was left hoping that there was an epilogue that had gotten secretly ripped out of my copy…
Overall this is quite a perfect book and I recommend it to everyone over the age of thirteen. I
don't believe I have conveyed even a fraction of how utterly fantastic it was and all I can do is
prompt you to grab a copy and brace yourself.

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