Deisy Garcia

Professor Dickey

EC3D Lec 9

16 May 2023

Mixed Faces

Topic: Writing Project 2

Being Mexican, yet appearing White inflicts a lot of dissonance for other people and

intrapersonal conflict for myself. I recognize my White and Indigenous roots, but I feel separated

from both of these identities, so I choose to consistently grasp on to the label ‘Mexican’. Many

others like myself identify with the label 'Mexican' because of our disconnect from our White

and Indigenous backgrounds. There is a lack of accurate representation, and the media

additionally generates a lot of confusion due to its mixed portrayals of what a “true” Latino looks

like. My single story is a direct consequence of the media’s misrepresentation; I believe that

these portrayals have influenced the public's perception and biases that lead to the dissonance

they experience with my racial identity.

I am a Mestiza daughter of Mestizo parents; however, my mother is very White passing

and I stole my mother’s face. Her light eyes, porcelain skin, sharp nose, and facial structure are

all features I have stolen from her. My mother and I both grew up with similar privileges as a

result of our fair complexion. My mother only spoke to me in Spanish as a child, I didn’t learn

English until she sent me to school. Our thick accents oozed from our mouths revealing our

roots. In school, my thick accent was masked by my pale skin. Nevertheless, my complexion

seemed to be louder than any word I could speak.

 The summer before my first quarter at UCLA, I participated in the Freshman Summer

Program (FSP): a rigorous six-week program that helps students of low socioeconomic

backgrounds better prepare for higher education. When I was offered this opportunity in high

school, my counselor instantly told me to accept it. “It’s a great opportunity. You won’t regret it,”

he said. Yet, the thought of coming to UCLA made me sick to my stomach. I knew I got into this

school for a reason, but I couldn’t help but feel unqualified. My heart sank lower and lower in

my chest as I counted down the days for FSP to start. Coming to such a large school was an

extremely daunting transition especially as a first-generation student. I carried all the suffering

and sacrifice of my parents on my shoulders. I wasn’t going to let their sacrifices be in vain.

Engaging with strangers is very challenging for me, so when a person comes along

curious to get to know me, I try my best to match their efforts. During the second week of FSP a

fellow peer approached me. He seemed to be an Indigenous individual, tan skin, dark eyes, black

hair, strong facial structure and short in stature. I knew he was Latino before he even said a

single word because he looked like all the other Latinos I grew up around.

“Hey! I’ve seen you around a lot lately, but I never got the chance to introduce myself.

My name is Joaquin, what’s yours?”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you. My name is Deisy,” I replied.

“That’s a pretty name. You know when I first saw you, I thought you were White, but

looking at you now I don’t think so. What’s your ethnicity?”

“I’m Mexican,” I replied with a small smile.

“That’s hella cool. My family is Mexican, too!”

His family was from Puebla and mine was from Aguascalientes. He elaborated:
 “My friends thought that you were White since your skin is so pale, but I was thinking

maybe you aren’t because your hair is very curly and it doesn’t look White. You also have a little

accent, and you actually have lips unlike a lot of other White people”.

The lips part made me laugh a little. He was brutally honest and seemed to have no filter.

With time I learned that’s just the way he is. My interaction with Joaquin isn’t the first I’ve had

of that nature. I’ve had White people approach me with similar questions. Upon learning that I

am not the same “White'' as them, they usually stray away. Although Joaquin had no malevolent

intent, our interaction highlights my inability to escape conversations concerning my race and

ethnicity. Throughout the rest of my time in FSP, I endured many similar interactions concerning

my race and ethnicity. While these conversations were emotionally taxing in an already difficult

transition period, those that did not talk to me made assumptions anyways. Ultimately, I made an

effort to continue the program in silence–my safe space. I am tired of having to constantly prove

myself and my identity to other people because I do not fit their box of what a Mexican should

be. I cannot blame them, though. Their thoughts are influenced by so many other social

mechanisms that I, too, have fallen victim to.

I selfishly resent the social construct of race–my invisible tormentor. In all sectors of my

identity, I am excluded. By my people, strangers, and even on paper.

“Mamá no hay opción de Latino, ¿qué pongo?”

“Mama there’s no Latino option. What should I bubble in?”

“Pon ‘other’, mija.”

“Put ‘other’, my daughter.”

I just grew up Mexican. I didn’t feel like I met the qualifications to bubble in “American

Native” or “White”.
 I abhor the fact that we can’t walk around and just see human beings. I abhor the fact that

I can’t walk around and just see human beings. What Joaquin did to me, I did to him. Upon first

glance, I put him in a box given my context growing up in a predominantly Latino community.

Finding out I was correct was bittersweet because it validates, and therefore encourages, me to

continue this malpractice. The reinforcement of labeling is what makes it so inescapable in

today's society, but I am trying to change it for myself. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s “The

Danger of a Single Story” was a much-needed wake-up call for me. When she spoke about her

experience in Guadalajara seeing Mexicans as humans with laughter, joy, and social lives, not

just immigrants at the border, I was struck with sadness for my people, whose lives are

minimized to American media headlines. Upon watching Adichie’s TedTalk, I came to the

realization that I was imposing my own single stories on others–and I made Joaquin one of my

victims.

The single story of Latinos in the United States deeply minimizes our lived experiences

and subjects us to a struggle inflicted by the U.S. We are more than our suffering and more than

what we are portrayed in the media. Our stories are important and unique. The single story of

Latinos devalues my mother’s struggles to get to this country and provide the life that I live now.

These single stories devalue the hard work of our field workers and essential workers that live

honorable lives. The misconception of gangs and violence are really just a cry for help masked

by a defense mechanism to protect ourselves from our hardships. Single stories remove this

context from the Latino image. The story doesn’t always truly start from the “beginning,” it starts

from the worst parts or the parts that relate to the “elite”. The fruitful story of Latin America is

reduced to a single story told by the wrong people.

 Sharing my story was imperative for me because I inflict dissonance to the greater

majority. Although I experience conflict in my identity, the interaction I had with Joaquin opens

up the door to have conversations about the categories that have been socialized in people’s

minds that aren’t openly discussed. My experience as a Latina is different from what is expected,

but everyone’s experience is distinct. My people are more than what is portrayed of us. Our

existences are novels, poetry, and art, not just a single story.

The problem however, is that the media creates a stereotype of who we are and reinforces

that through movies, novels, and television. The media idealizes and glorifies European features.

Since I fit into the “standard” of this, I can see why it is easy to be automatically associated as

just White. This idealization further removes me from conventional ‘Mexicanness’. Mexicans

come in all shapes, sizes, and skin tones, the absence of conversations regarding the diversity of

my people is what solicits single stories to persist in and out of the community. In our daily lives,

films and media make a huge impact on what information we are consuming. Whether it’s the

newest movie, the newest iPhone, or some celebrity drama, there is always something going viral

on the internet. We are constantly filling our brains with information, news, and opinions.

Opinions birth biases or reveal our previous ones. We create opinions on music, movies, TV

shows, and from there we decide what we deem appropriate, entertaining, normal, or accurate

per our standards. We internalize these biases, and they reappear in other aspects of our lives.

In the case of my single story, it is very much possible that Joaquin’s confusion

regarding my racial and ethnic identity could have stemmed from what he saw portrayed as

“Latino” in the media. My typical behaviors don’t depict one of a stereotypical Latina woman,

which reinforces the belief that I am White. I am a timid and soft-spoken person. I hate conflict,

arguing, and confrontation. I wouldn’t consider myself bold or manipulative and I don’t scream
Latina by the way I carry myself. To support my argument, I will use the movie Scarface. The

film Scarface (1983) is directed by Brian de Palma and stars Al Pacino as Tony Montana.

Scarface happens to be one of the films that has been engraved in my mind since the first time I

watched it 5 years ago. I had multiple questions but one of my biggest ones was: ‘Why was Al

Pacino chosen to play Tony Montana?’ Al Pacino is of Italian descent, he is a White man. In this

film, Tony Montana is a Cuban immigrant, a Latino man. Why would they have an Italian man

play a Cuban character? Well, I believe it’s because Al Pacino was able to “pass” as a Latino

man. He could look “Latino enough” even if he is Italian. European features are idealized in

Latin cinema. Al Pacino has European features, but in this movie his skin is tan which makes

him capable to fit into this role quite nicely per the standard. He plays your typical angry Latino

man. It is not uncommon for Latino men with authority to be portrayed in films as angry,

ambitious, misogynistic, “macho” men. Multiple times in the film Tony exclaims how in this life,

all he has are “his balls and his word” he fears no one (Scarface, 1:06:57-1:07:05). He claims he

never needs anyone either. His behavior reflects a stereotypical Latino man in my culture, and it

is unsettling to see because these behaviors are looked down upon by many, but are still

promoted in films like Scarface. Unfortunately, it shows the reality of things. Tony Montana’s

behavior, although stereotypical, applies to the reality of the lived behaviors of many Latino

men.

There is a double standard to this, Latina women are portrayed as sexy, spicy, sassy,

toxic, and snappy. Another example is the telenovela Teresa (2010), directed by Alejandro

Gamboa, starring Angelique Boyer as Teresa. Angelique Boyer is of Spanish and French descent.

She is not from Latin America. I always thought she was Latina but she isn’t. The reason why I

bring Angelique Boyer into this is because although she is Latina-passing, she is Caucasian just
like Al Pacino. You may be asking, “Well what does Boyer have that you don’t? You also have

light skin, light eyes, and European features. What’s the issue?” Well, Angelique Boyer perfectly

played a stereotypical toxic Latina. In Teresa, Teresa is mean, loud, sassy, and manipulative. She

uses her beauty to get what she wants at whatever cost, and she gets it. She is perpetuating

stereotypical Latina behaviors and it's harmful because it reinforces our internalized ideas. Going

back to Scarface, Tony is also bold, manipulative, and ambitious. If he wants it, he gets it, and in

this film, he does multiple times. He steals his boss’s wife Elvira (Michelle Pfiffer), who is

displayed as one of the most beautiful women in the film. She is a tall White woman, with

blonde hair, colored eyes, and pale skin. From the first time Tony lays eyes on her, she is

romanticized in a light that makes her appear irresistible and desirable to all (Scarface,

0:33:53-0:34:38).Tony never takes his eyes off of her. Tony also manages to become “Top Dog ''

in the cocaine business which became huge in Miami in the 80’s. He climbed up the ladder fast

and he went from a poor Cuban refugee escaping Castro, to becoming one of the richest men in

Miami. These two White actors, Al Pacino and Angelique Boyer, portray Latino stereotypes

phenomenally. I can’t argue they aren’t good actors, they are great, but they’re the reason why us

viewers get confused. These actors who aren’t Latinos portray Latinos and the behaviors they

depict reinforce behaviors that “all” Latinos should do. So if you fit into what is typically seen as

“Latino behavior” then maybe you will be able to be recognized as Latino.

The media, as much as I may want to blame it for the issue of stereotypes, isn’t the

creator of stereotypes, it is the reinforcer. The media has the power to amplify the stereotypes

that WE the consumers post, share, and comment on. If we look at our world today we often see

people targeted for the way they look and are perceived. Take Donald Trump for example, he has

a huge forum and audience that consumes his content. With his platform he has been able to
spread hate targeting minorities, especially the Latino community. Growing up in LA, I’ve seen

law enforcement officers stop civilians because they look “suspicious” or “secretive”. The

reality is, they target people of color because of what is portrayed of them and the implicit biases

they have towards a certain group of people. Many of these biases and stereotypes have been

amplified by people in high authority positions just like the ex-President, Donald Trump.

The media has granted us a forum to consume all this information for free most of the

time. Television channels such as Telemundo and Univision are dominantly viewed by the Latino

population in Los Angeles. My family and I are active consumers of what is shown on these

channels. There is a great possibility that Joaquin’s single story of me could have been

influenced from what he sees on TV, in movies, and on social media as well. Would he have been

less confused if I had looked or behaved more like a stereotypical Latina? Loud? Bold? Sexy?

Darker skin? Darker eyes? Maybe. Maybe I was a reminder to him that all Latinos come in

different shapes, sizes, skin colors, behaviors, and personalities. Although many Latino films like

Scarface depict characters who look like me, the inconsistency in behaviors causes turmoil on

what behaviors make someone a “true” Latino. My single story is a direct consequence of

behavioral misrepresentation; I believe that the portrayals of films like Scarface have influenced

the public's perception and biases that lead to the confusion they experience with my identity.
Works Cited:

Scarface. Directed by Brian de Palma, performances by Al Pacino, Michelle Pfieffer, Steven

Bauer, and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Universal Pictures, 1983.

Teresa. Directed by Alejandro Gamboa and Monica Miguel, performances by Angelique Boyer,

Sebastian Rulli, Ana Brenda Contreras, and Aaron Díaz, Canal de Las Estrellas, 2010.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's: The Danger of a Single Story." Youtube, uploaded by TED, 7 Oct.

2009, www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9Ihs241zeg.