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Aunt Sarah's: 50 Reasons Why Cats Are Better Than Men

This document lists 50 reasons why cats are better than men. Some of the key points include that cats are adorable, don't complain about your appearance, don't make major purchases without consulting you first, always want to cuddle, and will keep you company even if you spend all day crying in bed after a breakup. Overall, the document suggests cats make better companions than romantic partners because they are lower maintenance and more appreciative.

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Shea Cotton
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65 views

Aunt Sarah's: 50 Reasons Why Cats Are Better Than Men

This document lists 50 reasons why cats are better than men. Some of the key points include that cats are adorable, don't complain about your appearance, don't make major purchases without consulting you first, always want to cuddle, and will keep you company even if you spend all day crying in bed after a breakup. Overall, the document suggests cats make better companions than romantic partners because they are lower maintenance and more appreciative.

Uploaded by

Shea Cotton
Copyright
© Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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50 Reasons Why Cats Are Better Than Men

1. Cats bathe once a day at least!

Aunt Sarah s

2. Cats appreciate it when you fix them nice dinners. 3. A cat is always happy to see you. 4. Cats are adorable even in the morning! 5. A cat with a hairy back is cute. 6. Cats never hog the covers. 7. Cats don t try to fix household appliances and just make them worse. 8. Cats don t say things like, Have you put on weight? Cats just meow!

9. Cats never forget to leave the seat down, because they use a litter box. 10. Cats never make major purchases without consulting you because cats don t have credit cards! And motorcycles sounds scare them anyway!

11. Cats always listen to you, and never interrupt with their own stories. 12. Cats don t have in-laws! 13. Cats are never late for a meal. 14. Cats chase after a ball of string, not a TGIFriday s waitress. 15. Cats don t complain when you get a short haircut. 16. You can leave food out for a cat if you re gone overnight without the cat freaking out and calling you at your sister s house asking how long to nuke the leftover chicken. 17. Cats don t sweat buckets if it gets over 70 degrees out. 18. When a cat says Meow! he s being cute, not quoting an Austin Powers movie from, like, 20 years ago. 19. Cats actually mature as they get older. 20. Cats actually like to cuddle. 21. Cats don t burp, or if they do, they re not proud of it. 22. Cats have whiskers, but they don t call them flavor-savers! or offer the neighbor s wife a ride for five cents, even if it is a joke 23. Cats never accuse you of not having a sense of humor. 24. When cats withhold affection, you know it s only for a little while, not forever. 25. Cat breath smells like cat food, not cheap bourbon and Altoids.

26. If you don t want a cat sleeping all around the neighborhood, you can legally get it spayed or neutered! 27. A cat would remember to pay the mortgage, if you had both agreed it was the cat s job, and not try to blame the woman and say, Dammit, Sarah, you should have reminded me! 28. Cats don t wear their old high school letterman jackets even though they can t button it over their beer gut. 29. When you rub a cat s belly he doesn t immediately try to push your hand further south. 30. There s a musical called Cats! Nobody would go see a musical called, Neal, The Biggest Mistake Of My Life 31. Cats might bring home a dead mouse, but they don t bring home live crabs. 32. Come to think of it, even if it s a dead mouse, at least it s a present every once and a while.

33. Cats have nine lives. You only have one, Neal. Only one. 34. Cats don t blow things out of proportion and say you re making Death Threats . If I was making death threats, you d know it! 35. Cats don t dial 9-1-1. They can t hit the numbers with their big furry paws! 36. Cats don t want a trial separation. They want milk!

37.If a cat made an appointment for couples therapy, I bet the cat would show up! 38. Cats don t give up on 17 years of a marriage just because they re going through a rough patch. The average life for a cat is 14 years, so they couldn t even if they wanted to!

39.Cats don t run away. And if they do, they have tags so people can bring them back to you! 40. Cats don t judge you for eating a whole pint of ice cream and watching The Beach House. 41. If you don t have any Kleenex handy to wipe your tears, cat fur is just purr-fect! 42. Cats want to stay in bed all day, too! 43. Cats know people have needs! They don t say it, but, you can tell they know. 44. Cats are fine if you re spending more time on the internet chat rooms, and they won t tell anybody your real age. 45. Cats don t have shoulders - but you can still cry on them! 46. Cats would call me, if they left, and they could use the phone, even if they didn t want to come back. I bet they d call me, just to see how I m doing.

47. On a cold night, when your heat s been shut off, a cat will keep your feet warm. 48. You can never have too many cats! 49. If a cat were city health inspector, I bet the cat wouldn t say your home was a safety hazard due to feces and Toxoplasmosis! 50. Cats are the cutest!

CATS!!!!!

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