Series: I Am a Church Member

(based on and adapted from Thom Rainer’s book by the same name)
“I WILL NOT LET MY CHURCH BE ABOUT MY PREFERENCES
AND DESIRES”
MARK 9:33-35; PHILIPPIANS 2:5-11

We are in the third week of our book study together. We’ve been studying
the material in Thom Rainer’s book I Am a Church Member. I pray that
you’ve found this material helpful and have been able to participate in our
Thursday Nights Bible Studies to discuss the study questions at the end of
each chapter. If for some reason you don’t have a book, we ordered more
copies and they are on the small table in both our side and front
entryways.
Our chapter for today is “I Will Not Let My Church Be about My
Preferences and Desires.” Let me be blunt on the get go: People who
always want their way are selfish. There is hardly ever any consideration
for the wants and needs of others.

The dictionary defines selfishness as being “concerned excessively or

exclusively with oneself; seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage,
pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.” People who generally
want their way will go to great lengths to get it and they don’t care
about how they treat others in the process.

They can act out in a variety of ways. They can stomp and yell. They can
become sullen and withdrawn. They can boohoo like nobody’s business.
And they can also resort to bullying other people to get what they want.
Here is a classic example.

(Video: Opie and the Spoiled Kid in 5 Mins.)

It’s sad to say but Christians can sometimes act just like demanding
children who want things their way. Temper tantrums in churches may not
include church members lying on the floor kicking and screaming, but I’ve
seen them come close.

We don’t live in Mayberry. Problems don’t usually resolve themselves.

It takes a lot of love, work, and patience to resolve most of the problems
within a church.
The strange thing about church membership is that you actually give up
your preferences when you join. Church membership is not all about
you. It’s about serving Christ and serving others.

There may be some things about our church that you might really like. But
you’re here to serve others. You’re here to give and not just receive.

How do we keep ourselves from being selfish? How do we follow the

example of Jesus who prayed in the garden the night before he went to the
cross: “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not
as I will, but as you will.” (Matt. 26:39)

The answer is simple. Instead of seeking to serve myself, I should seek to

serve others. Instead of trying to be first, I should strive to come last.
Instead of my motivation being to get my preferences moved to the top of
the list, I should seek to subordinate my wants to meet the needs of others.
That’s easy to say but difficult to do.

LET’S FOCUS FIRST ON OUR FIRST TEXT FOR THIS MORNING

1. THE SERVANT MOTIF

Mark 9:33-35 – They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he

asked them, “What were you arguing about on the road?” 34 But they kept
quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest. 35
Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be
first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”
Selfishness and pride does not just affect a few. It is something that
plagues all of us. Our sinful nature drives those desires. Even Jesus’ closest
followers were susceptible to the pull of selfishness and pride. This was not
just a onetime incident. There were several of them in the little over 3 years
they walked with Jesus.

I can just see the band of 13 traveling by foot on the way to Capernaum.
Jesus is in the lead and the others are quite a few steps behind. These
foolish disciples had forgotten that Jesus is God in the flesh and that he
knows everything. They think that by hanging back, they can debate the
most important things on their minds. Which one of us is the best disciple?
Who is the one closest to Jesus? When Jesus isn’t around, who is in charge?
Which one of us is top dog?
When they arrived at Capernaum, Jesus confronts them over their behavior
on the road. What could the disciples do? They knew they had no defense for
their behavior. They thought Jesus couldn’t possibly know what they’d been
doing.

Can you imagine how they felt when Jesus sat down and called them to
gather around? Teachers in the 1st century sat while they taught. Jesus had
taken the position of the teacher.

He spoke words that seem so at odds with what our human nature urges us
to do. He said if you really want to be the greatest, you have to be the
least. If you want the real position of honor, then you have to be a
servant.
The word “servant” occurs 57 times in the New Testament. The word
“serve” occurs 58 times in the New Testament. Jesus said that we must be
last of all and servant of all.

A SURVEY THAT SAID A LOT

Rainer cites a study done by his research team on churches that are
inwardly focused. They are only concerned with their preferences. They
want people to join their church but only if those people will comply with
what is already being done to benefit current members. There is no desire to
be outwardly focused – finding ways to reach those outside of the church
with the gospel of Jesus. These churches are largely self-serving.
Rainer gives ten dominant behavior patterns of members of inwardly
focused congregations. I will not go through them here, but you must read
the book and make sure YOU CHECK YOURSELF AGAINST ALL TEN.

I will highlight one that I think it is crucial for our church here in Converse:
Number ten is evangelistic apathy. Very few members share their faith on
a regular basis. They’re more concerned about their own personal desires,
preferences, and needs than they are about the eternal needs of the people
who live around them and who live across the world.

The problem with inwardly focused churches is summed up with three

words: I, me, and myself. I want the music my way. I want the building my
way. I’m upset because the leadership didn’t spend enough time with me.
They didn’t do things my way or make my preferences the highest priority.
There’s a very important principle in 1 Cor. 10:23-24 – “I have the right to
do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right
to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. 24 No one should seek
their own good, but the good of others. Church membership is about
putting church first and be a functioning member. Church membership
is about putting up with others and be a unifying member. AND church
membership is about putting others first and be a SERVANT
MEMBER.

There are two major bodies of water in the land where Jesus walked.
One is the Sea of Galilee, a beautiful lake 13 miles long and 7 miles wide
filled with fish and surrounded by lush foliage.
The other body of water is the Dead Sea, 50 miles long and 11 miles
wide. Its shoreline is 1300 feet below sea level. Seven million tons of
water evaporates from the Dead Sea every day. The saline or salt
content of the water ranges from 26-35%, making it 10 times saltier
than the oceans of the world. There’s no seaweed or plants of any kind
in or around the water. There are no fish or any kind of swimming,
squirming creatures living in or near the water.

As a matter of fact, what you’ll see on the shores of the Sea is white,
crystals of salt covering EVERYTHING.

According to extremescience.com, fish accidentally swimming into the

waters from one of the several freshwater streams that feed the Sea are
killed instantly, their bodies quickly coated with a preserving layer of
salt crystals and then tossed onto shore by the wind and waves.

Both the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea are fed by the Jordan River.
There is only one difference between these two bodies of water, only one
thing that causes the Sea of Galilee to be beautiful and alive while the
Dead Sea is barren and lifeless. The Sea of Galilee has an outlet; the
Dead Sea does not! Water flows through the Sea of Galilee. It comes in and
then goes out. Water flows into the Dead Sea but not out. If we’re only
receiving and not giving, we become stagnant, lifeless, bitter, and
caustic.

NOW LET’S FOCUS FIRST ON OUR SECOND TEXT FOR THIS

MORNING
THE MIND OF CHRIST

At the church at Philippi, there was a problem. There was disagreement and
disunity because two members of that congregation – two ladies named
Euodia and Synteche – were at odds with each other. These two ladies had
at one time worked together with each other and with the apostle Paul in
furthering the work of the gospel but something had happened and they were
having contention with each other.

As is usually the case in any congregation, I’m pretty sure that there were
others in the Philippian congregation who sided with one or the other of the
ladies. Along with the two chosen sides are usually those people who are
just generally disturbed that there is dissension. It can divide a
congregation.
Paul writes this advice to this church in Phil. 2:1-4 – Therefore if you have
any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his
love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and
compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the
same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish
ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above
yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the
interests of the others.

I think those are wise words for any congregation. Instead of fighting for
my preferences, I should be humble, valuing others above myself. I
shouldn’t be just concerned with my interests but with the interests of
others within the congregation.
Paul then illustrates this idea by the example of Jesus Christ. Phil 2:5-11 – 5
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ
Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God
something to be used to his own advantage; 7 rather, he made himself
nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human
likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross! 9 Therefore God
exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every
name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and
on earth and under the earth,11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus
Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

What marks the example of Jesus?

1. He did not consider equality with God as something to be used for His
own advantage.

2. He emptied Himself by taking on the form of a slave.

3. He humbled Himself.

4. He became obedient to the point of death – even death on a cross.

If we approach church membership from the perspective of entitlement,

we have it upside down. We’re to be servants. We’re to be obedient to
Christ. We do whatever it takes to keep the unity in our church without
compromising the principles of the word of God.
On January 21, 1961, John F. Kennedy delivered his inaugural address
when he was sworn in as President of the United States. In his closing
statement he spoke these famous words: “Ask not what your country
can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.”

We could state today’s message in a simple idea: I should not be asking

what my church can do for me. I should be asking, “What can I be doing
for my church?”

The church is the body of Christ. He is the head of the church. When we
serve the body, we serve the head. The body is comprised of its members. I
serve the members, I serve the church. I serve the church, I serve its head –
Jesus Christ. When we put Christ and others first, we find the joy that
comes with being last. To sum it all up, it’s not about what I get but
about what I give.

IT’S TIME TO TAKE THE THIRD PLEDGE.

I need to give you a warning before you take this pledge. It won’t be very
long after you commit to these words that you will encounter a church
member whose attitude is not the attitude of Christ.

It will be tempting to give that person a piece of your mind. It will make you
feel superior when you chew them out and tell them to lose their lousy
attitude. Guess who would then have a lousy attitude? While a gentle rebuke
may be in order, you need to remember something about your commitment.
This OBNOXIOUS and DEMANDING church member is one of those
whom you have pledged to serve.
 The Third Pledge:

I am a church member. I will not let my church be about my preferences

and desires. That is self-serving. I am a member in this church to serve
others and to serve Christ. My Savior went to a cross for me. I can deal
with any inconveniences and matters that just aren’t my preferences or
style.

If you have made that commitment today, please sign the corresponding page
in your book.

These commitments are not easy. Without God’s help they are nigh unto
impossible to keep.. Continue to pray for strength and wisdom. When you
think you’ve had it with making sacrifices for others, remember the
cross. As you’re overwhelmed by Jesus’ undeserved love for you, that
caused Him to sacrifice everything—including His preferences—then you
will be able to do the same for others. Christ’s sacrifice puts it all into
perspective.

Mk. 10:43-45 – “Whoever wants to become great among you must be

your servant, 44 and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. 45
For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to
give his life as a ransom for many.”