PARENTING

TERRIFIC TEENAGERS
 CONTENT
• Celebrating change
• Preparing for adolescence
• What parents can give
• Teens talk
• What parents can do
• The scariest part of raising teenagers is
remembering the stupid things you did
as a teenager before you became a parent

Parenting by Patrick Kizito

 • Parents still struggle with
the generation gap. They
struggle with stereotypes.
• They are seen as
irrelevant, old fashioned
and out of touch. These
stereotypes are un-
helpful.
Parenting by Patrick Kizito
 Preparations

• The key to preparation and enjoying young people is

preparation and its never too late.
• From infancy, parents are helping to build an adult.
Laying a solid foundation of love and respect, of prayer
and worship, of togetherness helping our children to
form and hold onto right values
Parenting by Patrick Kizito
• If you want your children to
base their lives on biblical
values during their teenage age,
then you need to teach and live
out God’s teaching clearly
before they begin to own those
values for themselves.

Parenting by Patrick Kizito

• As children grow up, they begin to think for themselves and
less for our influence.
• By the time they are teens, much of our parenting is almost
complete.
• Certainly, the may need guidance and support but by this
time, much of their basic beliefs are already in place.

Parenting by Patrick Kizito

• Whatever standards and
practices they have
grown up with, these
become the lens
through which children
view the world.

Parenting by Patrick Kizito

 Milestone

• Becoming a teen is an important

milestone—celebrate it.
• In many cultures, there is a planned time
away with teens to prepare them for life
Parenting by Patrick Kizito

ahead.
 Milestone

• As your kids reach adolescence, they

need more than ever before to watch over
them. Adolescence is not about letting
Parenting by Patrick Kizito
go. It’s about hanging on during a very
bumpy ride.—Ron Taffel --
• Having a front-row seat in our teen
lives is a far better place to be than
sitting on any high table in life.
Parenting by Patrick Kizito
 • Teenage stage is a
crisis stage. Its
like being on a
slope with your
bike and all of a
sudden lose the
breaks.
Patrick A. Kizito --Parenting sessions
 • Teenagers have
energy and lots of it.
It is the time for
fresh ideas, new
projects, and
exciting
experiments.
Patrick A. Kizito --Parenting sessions
 • Teenagers have reached
their exciting stage in
their development, but
there still a long way to
grow. The goal is still
maturity and responsible
adulthood.
• It is our task to help
them prepare for the
next stage in life.
Patrick A. Kizito --Parenting sessions
• Parents often feel uncomfortable about discussing sexual
behavior. You may also feel that talking to your children about
sex is just not part of African culture. The strange thing it
doesn’t seem to be part of any culture.
• In most countries parents struggle over this issue and many
rely on someone else to do it. Relatives, teachers, or the church.

Parenting by Patrick Kizito

 • The teenage years
can be a stressful
period of one crisis
after another. The
pace of change
leaves the whole
family bewildered
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and bruised.
 IMAGINE THESE TO BE YOUR TEENAGERS!!!

Patrick A. Kizito --Parenting sessions

 • They are still working
out their own identity
and developing
emotionally.

• However we ought to
adjust our thinking and
welcome our maturing
children as friends and
companions.

Patrick A. Kizito --Parenting sessions

 • Teenagers are
acutely fragile.
• They are vulnerable
to practically
everything:
• Failure
• Criticism
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• Embracement
 • They are frequently plagued
by self-doubt and are of
inferiority , which can reach
an bearable levels at times.
• They might be dissatisfied
with their looks, their
intelligence or their abilities.
• They might feel hopeless and
helpless and if they are
ridiculed their self esteem
plummets.
Patrick A. Kizito --Parenting sessions
 • They don’t like to obey blindly,
they ask questions and demand
that adults give explanations.
• This can be a difficult time for
parents, but it will not hurt us if
we are ready for them and
sometimes admit that we don’t
know

Patrick A. Kizito --Parenting sessions

 Teenage changes
• Encourage your children to face
their teenage years with
confidence. Draw a parallel
between the time of their birth
– moving from the security of
their mother's womb into the
unfamiliar but much richer
world outside- and the new
opportunities now await them.

Parenting by Patrick Kizito

• Sometimes you may stand back because you want your
children to discover that they can manage something new
on their own. They may even think that you have
deserted them.
• At other times you may seem to interfere unnecessarily
because you want the best for them.

Parenting by Patrick Kizito

• Early pregnancy in girls can result in physical
complications as well as social and emotional
implications.
• Young people sometimes tell each other that
waiting for sex will harm them, this is not true,
in God’s plan sexual intercourse is reserved for
marriage.

Parenting by Patrick Kizito

• Your teenager will already have friends who are sexual immorality
to this and help them to cope with the pressure this helps
encourage your children to redirect their energy into other useful
pursuits e.g. sports, study, and hobbies.
• This is the best way to prepare for adult life and parents can guide
their children

Parenting by Patrick Kizito

 Teenage challenges
• Teenagers are faced with many
challenges as well as changes. They
begin to examine their self-esteem,
their values, aim and attitudes.
• Here are three common questions
they may face.

Parenting by Patrick Kizito

 • Teenage stage is a time when
children’s esteem is tied to
their mirror image.
• They ask, Identity,
• “Who am I?”
The second is importance:
“Do I matter?”
The third is impact:
“What is my place in life?

Patrick A. Kizito --Parenting sessions

 Teenage scenes
• As young people meet changes and new challenges, they
struggle to establish their own independence.
• This often leads to confrontations with parents who do not
know how to cope up with demands for teenagers make.
• Many parents feel that they need to draw up stricter rules
and try to control behavior with firm discipline.

Parenting by Patrick Kizito

• Some parents do not care
what their children do, they
can sneak out go to parties
or get drunk and the parents
do not care.

Parenting by Patrick Kizito

• Teenagers can be trapped in
addictions. You will teach
them to fly but they will not
fly your heights. You will
teach them to dream but they
will not dream your dreams.
Nevertheless, in every flight,
in every dream, the print of
the way you taught will
remain.
Parenting by Patrick Kizito
 Addictions
• All addictions have one thing in
common. They function as an
emotional an aesthetic. They serve
to kill the pain of unpleasant
emotions or experiences.
• Teens resort to addictions to numb
their pain or escape from life’s
responsibilities.
Parenting by Patrick Kizito
 • As parents we have a
responsibility to prepare
them for this time and
help to learn how to
cope with the pressures
from peers.
• We also need to teach
them how to care for
their minds and
Patrick A. Kizito --Parenting sessions emotions.
 • Sit down and allow
your teenager talk all
the little things they
have so that when they
are grown up, they will
sit and talk all the big
things with you

Patrick A. Kizito --Parenting sessions

 • Arguing is almost completely
ineffective in getting young people
to change.
• Face up to problems-when parents
avoid issues they neglect their
responsibilities.
• Refuse to take the bait when your
teenager is angry or demanding.
• Create the right time to talk openly
and honestly.
Patrick A. Kizito --Parenting sessions
• Encourage them to talk first.
 • Being a parent of a teenager
means a lot of forgiveness, a
lot of grace, a lot of
endurance and love.
• Remember teenager years are
shaped by the kind of friends
a teenager keeps and heeding
to the advice of parents

Patrick A. Kizito --Parenting sessions

 • Successful parents are
not those who never
struggled but those who
kept moving and kept
going despite the
struggle.

Patrick A. Kizito --Parenting sessions