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Nonviolent Communication Speech Content

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Nonviolent Communication Speech Content

Uploaded by

tamanh210108
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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INTRODUCTION

Effective communication is a crucial aspect of human interaction. It is


through communication that we express our thoughts, feelings, and needs to
others. However, communication can sometimes result in conflict and violence,
which can damage relationships and cause harm. Nonviolent communication is an
approach that seeks to promote peaceful and respectful communication.

Below is the content to be covered during the Workshop “The art of non-
violent communication”

1. Explain the keywords - nonviolent communication


- What is nonviolent communication
+ a language of compassion
+ a tool for positive social change
+ a spiritual practice.
+ the tools and consciousness to understand what triggers us,
+ to take responsibility for our reactions
+ to deepen our connection with ourselves and others, thereby
transforming our habitual responses to life
- When do we use nonviolent communication?
+ Conflicts
+ Misunderstandings
+ Or just a message that we want to convey to someone

2. The purpose of nonviolent communication


- To connect us with others or even ourselves in a way that makes
compassionate given naturally.
- It is NOT about manipulating, or forcing people to do what you want but it
is all about the CONNECTION with others
- It is a way to resolve differences peacefully
+ Honest expressing
+ Empathetic listening
- It teaches us to UNDERSTAND and EXPRESS our feelings, + to hear OUR
NEEDS and the NEEDS OF OTHERS
- Prevent receiving criticism or blame
When we communicate without violence, we listen to others' perspectives without
judgment or criticism. This approach allows us to see things from different angles
and helps us understand others' needs and feelings. Nonviolent communication
also promotes peaceful conflict resolution. Instead of resorting to violence or
aggression, nonviolent communication encourages us to find peaceful solutions
that meet everyone's needs. In addition, nonviolent communication builds trust and
strengthens relationships. When we communicate with respect and empathy, we
create a safe and supportive environment where people feel heard and valued.

3. How to achieve nonviolent communication?


a) Prepare
- Make a time to talk and in the appropriate place
+ You may not need to instantaneously reply or solve a conflict or
misunderstanding, you can pause the conversation and response another time
when feeling prepared
+ Depending on the situation, the place you want to have the conversation
might need to be private, quiet,...
- Nonviolent communication evolves around 2 fundamental questions
+ What are you feeling?
+ What do you desire or want from the person you are talking to
-> Seems easy but it is NOT, expressing emotions and needs is not easy at all
-> Many of us never learned to acknowledge our feelings. There are several
reasons for this:
1) Because there are many many false stereotypes
- Eg. boys shouldn’t cry / girls should be girly and never get angry
=> We tend to hide how we actually feel, day after day -> we dont
ever really express how we feel inside (sometimes even from
ourselves)
-> In order to achieve nonviolent communication, we should learn to accept our
feelings no matter how bad or good they are, whether it is when you’re feeling
happy or when you feel like quitting. Feelings should be respected and accepted,
rather than being ignored.
2) We cannot identify the specific feeling that we feel
Eg. You can notice that you are happy or sad, angry or surprised, but you
may not be able to express that you are playful or optimistic, lonely, guilty
or depressed, frustrated or critical,...
→ By practice identify your feelings using the feelings wheel, you’ll
gradually be able to express the right one.

b) Time to communicate - The model for non-violent communication:


1) What I observe/experience/see/hear…
- Briefly state what has happened, observe the behaviour without evaluating
or judgiong (just say the truth)
- Examples:
+ “The last few times I initiated an activity, you said you didn’t want to do it.”
+ “XX didn’t ask for my opinion during the meeting.”

2) How I feel…
- Identify the feeling based on what you have observed/experienced
- Feelings never involve others. Emotions or sensation rather than thought.
- Examples:
- “I experience feeling x in myself.”
- “When x happens, I feel x”
- “I feel disappointed because you said you would do it and you didn’t.”

3) What I need, value, desire


- State your desire that causes the feelings.
- “...because I need/value/hope…”
- Examples:
+ “I am grateful that you offered to take the extra shift because I need to rest.”
+ “When you said you’d do it and then didn’t, I felt disappointed because I
want to be able to rely upon your words.”

4) Formulating a request
- Phrase a specific request positively, speaking kindly, but firmly and clearly,
without unnecessary emotion.
- “What I prefer…” “Would you be willing to X…?” “My request to you
is…”
- Examples:
+ “What I prefer is for you to tell me how you feel about what I did and what
you’d like me to do differently.”
+ “I’d like you to be on time when we have our weekly meetings.”

c) Obtaining feedback on everthing you have done so far


“Am I on the right track with this conversation?” or “Time out. How are we doing
resolving this issue?

Putting it all together:


The model: “When I see that _______ I feel __________ because my need for
______is not being met. Would you be willing to…?”

More examples:
“Felix, when I (1) see socks under the coffee table I (2) feel irritated because I am
needing (3) more order in the room that we share in common. (4) Would you be
willing to put your socks in your room or in the washing machine?

References:
- https://www.ucop.edu/ombuds/_files/nvc-model-requesting-change-
remove.pdf

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