MAN

Tom - Three Years From Thirty - Mike O'Malley

No, you've changed and I've changed, and everything's changing, everything's changed.
This wasn't all your fault. I made plans without consulting you, I held you back, I didn't listen.
I was so dead set on some hero man bread-winner bullshit that doesn't have any validity
when two people and two lives and two hearts and two souls are trying to find parallel roads
to carry their dreams together. And this year I've ripped apart my life, my friendships, my
self-esteem and my dreams because I was so proud, so hung up on my own devastation.
Diggin myself a pathetic self pitying ostrich hole, and that's nobody's fault but my own. I
know what you want Jessica. I want the same thing. But the only thing I need more than
being with you is being who I once thought I could be first.

MAN

Paul - A Chorus Line - James Kirkwood

Somebody told me they were looking for male dancers for the Jewel Box Revue, you know,
the drag show. So, I go down to audition. Now, from all those years of pretending I was Cyd
Charisse, I had this fabulous extension. I mean I could turn ... anything my first audition. And
they said to me : "You're too short to be a boy, would you like to be a pony?"; And I said :
"What's that?"; And they said : "A girl."; "What do I have to do?"; "Show us your legs." So I
went and they hiked up my dungarees and they put on a pair of nylon stockings and high
heels. It was freaky. It was incredible. And then they brought me back downstairs and they
said: "Oh, you have wonderful legs." I said:"Really?...Terrific..."

It's so strange thinking about this. It was a whole lifetime ago. I was just past sixteen.
Anyway, then there was this thing of me trying to hide it from my parents. That was
something. 'Cause I had to buy all this stuff. Like, ah, shoes to rehearse in, earrings, make-
up. And I would hide it all and my mother would find it. I told her there was this girl in the
show and she didn't want her mother to know what she was doing and I was holding this
stuff for her. She believed me.

Well, I was finally in show business. It was the asshole of show business - but it was a job...

MAN

Michael - Key Exchange - Kevin Wade

Panties. See, when I was single, and seeing different women all the time, I got a real charge
thinking about, looking forward to what sort of panties the woman would be wearing, and
what she was going to look like in them. Will they be hot little black ones, or innocent cotton
white ones, or old ones she's had since high school where the elastic is shot and she doesn't
really care if you just rip them right off, and will they ride up in the rear, or do that little droop,
or serve more like a Band-Aid, or what. So there I was, exchanging rings and I-dos and I
catch the lineup of bridesmaids, and it occurs to me that hey, I'm also vowing here that for
the rest of my life, 'til death do me part, I'm going to be intimate with just one woman's
arsenal of underwear, and I've already lived with her for a year and a half and know them all
by heart anyway.
MAN

KONSTANTIN TREPLEV - The Seagull - Anton Chekhov

(Pulling petals off a flower)

She loves me - she loves me not - She loves me - she loves me not - Loves me, loves me
not.

(Laughs)

There you are, she doesn’t love me. Well, of course she doesn’t. She wants to live and love
and dress in light colours, and there am I, twenty-five years old, perpetually reminding her
that she’s stopped being young. When I’m not thereshe’s thirty-two - when I am she’s forty-
three; and that’s why she hates me. Then again I don’t acknowledge the theatre. She loves
the theatre she thinks, she’s serving humanity and the sacred cause of art, whereas in my
view themodern theatre is an anthology of stereotypes and received ideas. When the curtain
goes up, and there, in a room with three walls lit by artificial lighting because it’s always
evening, these great artists, these high priests in the templeof art, demonstrate how people
eat and drink, how they love and walk about and wear their suits; when out of these banal
scenes and trite words they attempt to extract a moral - some small and simple moral with a
hundred householduses; when under a thousand different disguises they keep serving me
up the same old thing, the same old thing, the same old thing - then I run and don’t stop
running, just as Maupassant ran from the sight of the Eiffel Tower, that weighed on his brain
with its sheer vulgarity. What we need are new artistic forms. And if we don’t get new forms it
would be better if we had nothing at all.

MAN

BLAKE - Glengarry Glen Ross Screenplay - David Mamet

Let me have your attention for a moment! So you're talking about what? You're talking about,
bitching about that sale you shot, some son of a bitch that doesn't want what you're selling,
some broad you're trying to screw and so forth. Let's talk about something important. Put
that coffee down! Coffee's for closers only. Do you think I'm fucking with you? I am not
fucking with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here from Mitch and Murray. And I'm here on
a mission of mercy. Your name's Levene? You call yourself a salesman, you son of a bitch?
You don't wanna listen to this? You certainly don't pal. 'Cause the good news is - you're
fired. The bad news is you've got, all you got, just one week to regain your jobs, starting
tonight. Starting with tonight's sit. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause
we'readding a little something to this month’s sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a
Cadillac Eldorado. Anyone want to see second prize? Second prize's a set of steak knives.
Third prize is you're fired. You get the picture? You're laughing now? You got leads. Mitch
and Murray pay good money. Get their names to sell them! You can't close the leads you're
given, you can't close shit, you ARE shit, hit the bricks pal and beat it 'cause you are going
out!! (Hears something) 'The leads are weak.' Fucking leads are weak? You're weak. I've
been in this business fifteen years. (And something else) What's my name? FUCK YOU,
that's my name!!! You know why, Mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I
drove a eighty thousand dollar BMW. That's my name!! And your name is "you're waiting."
And you can't play in a man's game. You can't close them. And you go home and tell your
wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life! Get them to sign on the line
which is dotted! You hear me, you fucking faggots?
MAN

DOWNS - The Libertine - Stephen Jeffreys

To become a wit, a blade, a spark. The very word, spark, hot slinter of fashion to scorch the
town and burn it to the ground. There was never another way for me. I live for the cocky
swagger: toss the head, grind the loins and gob the pavings. What though they had kept me
two years at my Cambridge Latin, learning to parse and wrangle, I came to London bent on
cutting a figure with the hot boys. A lecherous leer to the traffic and a stamp of the boot on
the alehouse floor: I lived for these Friday night gestures and thought they would satisfy until
till I was twenty - five and in my grave. But to be part of the merry gang, for Billy Downs to
hang on the coats-tails of my Lord Rochester and the Earl of Dorset, such a thing stood
several leagues beyond my dreams and cling to their companionship like an oldtoper to his
pottle. My mother writes to me, asks what I am doing in this dreadful town. I cannot reply, for
there is no setting down with ink and paper that I drink till I’m sick, mump and quarrel till I
duel and wench till I am slapped orsatisfied. I am the youngest of three brothers. The eldest
has the estate and the second is a canting priest. Between them they have done me out of
wealth and piety. There is nothing left to me but spark, so spark I shall. Today we jolly forth
to the Epsom races, and though my jerkin has not the force of my companions’ top coats, yet
I keep my end up with a clutch of lively sallies and modern curses that fan the fading embers
of their youth.

MAN

Edmund - King Lear - William Shakespeare

EDMUND

Thou, nature, art my goddess; to thy law

My services are bound. Wherefore should I
Stand in the plague of custom, and permit
The curiosity of nations to deprive me,
For that I am some twelve or fourteen moon-shines
Lag of a brother? Why bastard? wherefore base?
When my dimensions are as well compact,
My mind as generous, and my shape as true,
As honest madam's issue? Why brand they us
With base? with baseness? bastardy? base, base?
Who, in the lusty stealth of nature, take
More composition and fierce quality
Than doth, within a dull, stale, tired bed,
Go to the creating a whole tribe of fops,
Got 'tween asleep and wake? Well, then,
Legitimate Edgar, I must have your land:
Our father's love is to the bastard Edmund
As to the legitimate: fine word,--legitimate!
Well, my legitimate, if this letter speed,
And my invention thrive, Edmund the base
Shall top the legitimate. I grow; I prosper:
Now, gods, stand up for bastards!
MAN

Romeo - Romeo and Juliet - William Shakespeare

'Tis torture, and not mercy: heaven is here,

Where Juliet lives; and every cat and dog
And little mouse, every unworthy thing,
Live here in heaven and may look on her;
But Romeo may not: more validity,
More honourable state, more courtship lives
In carrion-flies than Romeo: they my seize
On the white wonder of dear Juliet's hand
And steal immortal blessing from her lips,
Who even in pure and vestal modesty,
Still blush, as thinking their own kisses sin;
But Romeo may not; he is banished:
Flies may do this, but I from this must fly:
They are free men, but I am banished.
And say'st thou yet that exile is not death?
Hadst thou no poison mix'd, no sharp-ground knife,
No sudden mean of death, though ne'er so mean,
But 'banished' to kill me?.'banished'?
O friar, the damned use that word in hell;
Howlings attend it: how hast thou the heart,
Being a divine, a ghostly confessor,
A sin-absolver, and my friend profess'd,
To mangle me with that word 'banished'?

MAN

DAD - The Dreamer Examines His Pillow - John Patrick Shanley

You see, I got to the point, I lost the women who were keepin me from askin the question,
Why live? That’s a long way off from you yet. That may never happen to you at all. When
you find yourself alone and when you ask that question of yourself alone, separate from
everybody else’s needs, it’s like pullin the plug on your power, man. It’s like lookin into the
hole where your art your strength your black water was, an there’s nothing there but a dry
black dent in a pillow past broken in, past broken down. Cause there is no answer to that
question for a man alone. But then Donna came to me today, and she needed somethin
from me, somethin that belonged ta her. And she reminded me that she’s connected ta me.
That things in me belong to other people. That I’m connected. That like it or not I’m not alone
and it’s not over till it’s over. Why Live? Cause it’s not neat and the individual like is
deceptive and a dream. We spill over into each other, man. We spill blood and breath and
come an time over inta each other like shelves inna water wheel.
MICHAEL

God of Carnage- Male Monologue

Yes. This hamster makes the most godawful racket all night, then spends the whole day fast
asleep! Henry was in a lot of pain last night; he was being driven crazy by the noise that the
hamster was making. And, to tell you the truth, I've been wanting to get rid of it for a long
time, so I said to myself, OK, that's it, I took it and put it in the street. I thought they loved
drains and gutters and all that, but I guess not, it just sat there paralyzed on the sidewalk.
Well, they're not domestic animals, they're not wild animals, I don't really know where their
natural habitat is. Dump them in the woods, they're probably just as unhappy, so I don't
know where you're supposed to put them.