BE COMPLETELY HUMBLE

Ephesians 4:2 says, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one
another in love.” New International Version “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient
with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love.” New
Living Translation.
What is humility? According to Jeremy Taylor, one of the rules of humility is, having a
realistic opinion of yourself: to let God be God (Martin Luther).
“First, do not think better of yourself because of any outward circumstance that
happens to you. Remember that you are merely human and that you have nothing in
yourself that merits worth except your right choices. Second, humility does not consist
in criticizing/condemn yourself, or wearing ragged cloths or walking around
submissively wherever you go. Humility consists in a realistic opinion of yourself,
namely, that you are an unworthy/undeserving person (Amazing Grace...). Believe this
about yourself with the same certainty you believe that you are hungry when you have
gone without food.”
Unfortunately, such an attitude goes beyond our human nature. The outcome? We end
up having a distorted /twisted or false view of ourselves; we become self-deceived (Ngi
long kiba la shah shukor noh).
SELF-DECEPTION
Self-deception is the process where we look at ourselves with a distorted, false image.
We overestimate/overrate or underestimate ourselves. And this is how Satan wants us
to see ourselves.
Many scientific, empirical studies indicate human beings have an innate tendency to
deceive themselves about their strengths and weaknesses, goodness, sinfulness and
motivations. We fool ourselves about who is at fault when things go wrong. We also
claim exaggerated credit when things go right.
Research indicates that people tend to attribute positive behaviors to themselves and
negative behaviors to external factors. That is to say, human beings are most likely to
take credit for their good or praiseworthy actions and to deny responsibility for their
bad acts or failures. (cf. Bradley, “Self-Serving Biases in the Attribution Process: A Re-
examinations of the Fact or Fiction Question.”) Helmut Lamm and David Myers
observed that on a variety of dimensions, “most people see themselves as more ethical
than their peers and as less prejudiced than most in their communities.” (Myers, The
Inflated Self, 23; cf. Lamm and Myers, “Group-Induced Polarization of Attitudes and
Behavior.”)
The truth is: We are self-deceived. We think we are stronger than we really are. We
imagine we are better than we truly are. And even when confronted by our palpable
failures, we possess an innate ability to lie about the truth of the situation. We believe
we are humble when we are filled with pride. We think we are free from lust when we’re
actually consumed by it, and we tell ourselves that we are free from the love of money
and possessions, although we rarely if ever give anything away.
THE CRISIS OF SELF-DECEPTION:
The crisis of self-deception shows itself in several ways. The first is legalism. Legalism
bases our relationship with God on how well we are performing or progressing. From
legalisms, we move to externalism/outward appearance and judgmentalism, efforts to
judge others through the use of our own law. In these efforts, we consider who is
measuring up and who isn’t measuring up. (Matt. 7:1ff; Lk.12:14)

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In his commentary on Romans, James Dunne noted that first-century rabbinic writing
focused on dietary law, circumcision, and Sabbath keeping. Why would the rabbis spend
so much time on these ancillary aspects of the faith?
Because all groups want to define who is in the group and who is out. Groups tend to
establish "boundary markers" to make this distinction. Sociologists define these
markers as highly visible, relatively superficial practices—like dietary laws and Sabbath
customs.
For most Christians today, having a "quiet time" can become a boundary marker, a
measure of spiritual growth. “If someone had asked me about my spiritual life, I would
immediately think, Have I been having regular and lengthy quiet time? My initial
thought was not, Am I growing more loving toward God and toward people?” (John
Ortberg)
Doctrine can also be a boundary marker. Dallas Willard said, "One of the hardest things
in the world is to be right and not to hurt anybody with it.”
Doctrine, behavioral standards, and even sanctified peculiarities may identify who's in
the club and who’s not.
All these characteristics result in spiritual competitiveness leading ultimately to the
final characteristic, PRIDE. And pride results in self-righteousness and an exaggerated
self-estimation/opinion/assessment.
Pride is an exaggerated estimation of oneself. It shows itself in boasting,
swaggering/overconfidence, arrogance, snobbery/self-importance, exclusiveness,
vainglory, impudence/rudeness/disrespect, pleasure in doing harm,
ostentation/display/showiness, self-elevation, patronizing or neglecting others.
In fact, we sometimes talk of pride as egotism, the valuing of everything in relation to
one’s personal interest, a self-centeredness accompanied by a denial of the relevance
and value of other people. According to Merriam Webster dictionary, egotism is, 1a:
excessive use of the first person singular personal pronoun. 1b: the practice of talking
about oneself too much. 2: an exaggerated sense of self-importance. The egotist feels
superior to others physically, intellectually or in some other way. (Egoism" is a
preoccupation with oneself, but not necessarily feeling superior to others.) Pride is a
type of narcissism, a complete self-absorption that turns away from others and enters
into the small world of oneself.
G. K. Chesterton once wrote, “The one spiritual disease is thinking that one is quite
well. If the Spirit of God has given you a vision of what you are apart from the grace of
God, you know that there is no criminal who is half so bad in actuality as you know
yourself to be in possibility.”
Of righteousness in Jesus’ days Ortberg says: The righteous were more damaged by
their righteousness than the sinners were by their sins.”
Francis de Sales speaks of the moral blindness of self-righteousness. Those who suffer
from this sin will be quick to spot the weaknesses of others. However, they fail to notice
their own shortcomings...everyone paints/pynwandur/airong devotion according to his
own passions/jingieit and fancies/jingmutdur. People who fast think of themselves as
being very devout if they fast, although their hearts might be filled with hatred. Much
concerned with sobriety/self-denial, they don’t care to wet their tongues with wine or
even water, but they won’t hesitate to drink deep of their neighbor’s blood by
detraction/slander/kren sniew and gossip/kren lorni. Other people think of themselves
as devout because they daily recite a vast number of prayers, but after saying them they
utter the most disagreeable, arrogant, and harmful words at home and among the
neighbors. Another person gladly takes a coin out of his purse and gives it to the poor,
but he cannot extract kindness/compassion/jingsngewsynei from his heart to forgive his
enemies. . . In the same manner, many persons clothe themselves with certain outward
actions connected with holy devotion, and the world believes that they are truly devout

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and spiritual whereas they are nothing but copies and phantoms/rngai of devotion.
(Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, quoted in Devotional Classics, 26-27)
According to St. John of the Cross, Spiritual pride, manifests itself in a number of
unpleasant ways:
* A tendency to become “too spiritual.” “They like to speak of ‘spiritual things’ all
the time.”
* Self-righteous condemnation of others. “They become content with their growth.
They would prefer to teach others rather than to be taught. They condemn others
who are not as spiritual as they are. They are like the Pharisee who boasted in
himself and despised the publican who was not as spiritual as he.” (Pride and
lovelessness always go together.) The pride of your heart has deceived you, you
who live in the clefts of the rocks and make your home on the heights, you who
say to yourself, ‘Who can bring me down to the ground?’ Obadiah 1:3
* A desire to be noticed by others. “. . . they begin to do spiritual exercises to be
esteemed by others. They want others to realize how spiritual they are.”
* An unwillingness to be honest about shortcomings. “They will also begin to fear
confession to another for it would ruin their image. So they soften their sins
when they make confession in order to make themselves appear less imperfect.”
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18
Let’s all admit that we have a pride problem. No one is immune. However, St. John has
offered a remedy: Remember that there is little we can do for God. Thank God for His
gifts but don’t broadcast your giftedness to others. “. . . .they will focus on how great
and how deserving God is and how little it is that they can do for him. The Spirit of God
dwells in such persons, urging them to keep their treasures secretly within themselves.”
(St. John of the Cross, The Dark Night of the Soul, quoted in Devotional Classics, 34)
EXERCISE: Prayerfully examine the following four areas and try to place yourself
honestly and accurately.

Taylor offers a number of practical and potent antidotes for the poison of pride and self-
righteousness. These are:
1. Do your good works “in secret.” “Be content to go without praise, never being
troubled when someone has slighted or undervalued you.”
2. Avoid fishing for compliments. Taylor advises, “Never say anything, directly/kren beit
or indirectly/kren kyllain, that will provoke praise or elicit compliments from others . . .
Do not ask others to identify your faults if your intent or purpose is to have others tell

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you of your good qualities. Some people will speak lowly of themselves in order to make
others give an account of their goodness. They are merely fishing for compliments.
3. Consciously practice praise rather than disparagement/criticism. “Take an active part
in the praising of others, entertaining their good with delight. In no way should you give
in to the desire to disparage them, or lessen their praise, or make any objection. You
should never think that hearing the good report of another in any way lessens your
worth” [a healthy antidote to spiritual competitiveness]
4. Avoid spiritual competition and comparison. “Never compare yourself with others
unless/lait noh tang it be to advance your impression of them and lower your impression
of yourself.”/lait noh tang haba kata ka jingianujor jong phi ialade bad kiwei kan
pynlong ia phi ban iohi katno ki kham bha ban ia phi.
5. Identify/relate/pyniadei ban sngewthuh compassionately with the weaknesses of
others. “ . . . look with great forgiveness upon the weaknesses of others. The truly
humble person will try to see how the sinful deeds done by others were committed
because the person was unenlightened or misled, concluding that if the person had the
same benefits and helps that he had, they would not have committed any such evil, but
rather, would have done much good.” (Jeremy Taylor, The Rules and Exercises of Holy
Living, quoted in Devotional Classics, pp. 244-45)
6. A desire to forgive rather than to exact punishment. (An addl. point)
7. Ministry of the mundane. This ministry can happen at home in the middle of the night
when one of the children cries. I could fake being asleep and then, as my wife is leaving
the room, say a few words very groggily, as if I would have tended the child but I’m just
a heavier sleeper so it’s too late now. This way I get both the credit for wanting to help
and the luxury of staying in bed. Nobody is too good to perform the lowliest task.
8. The ministry of being interrupted. In this highly competitive world, we need to be
available to talk or pray with troubled people. Bonhoeffer wrote of this ministry of
“active helpfulness.” 9. Embracing our weaknesses and limitations.
10. The ministry of “holding your tongue.”We are in a meeting at work. As the
conversation unfolds , we suddenly become aware of a subtext: “Here is a chance to let
everybody discover how much I know. This is a chance to tell a story in a way that
subtly underscores my importance around here...”
Recently some staff were discussing a relatively minor decision and I found myself
sitting on the edge of my seat, gesturing animatedly, while a voice that sounded
suspiciously like mine kept rising higher and higher. I realized I wasn’t at all concerned
about this decision; instead I had locked myself into a contest to see whose decision was
going to prevail.
11. The ministry of bearing. We are called to bear each other’s burdens. It shouldn’t feel
burdensome. I need to “bear with” people until I learn to love them.
CONCLUSION
Colossians 3:8, 12-13 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice,
slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and
beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing
with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as
the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
The story of the human race is not just one of universal disappointment, but one of
inextinguishable hope. The possibility of transformation is the essence of hope. In the
Bible the word used is Morphoo which means, “The inward and real transformation of
the essential nature of a person.” It was the term used to describe the formation and
growth of an embryo in a mother’s body. Paul used this word in his letter to the
Galatians: “...until Christ is formed in you.” He agonized until Christ should be born
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in those people, until they should express his character and goodness in their whole
being.
“Jesus came with a radical message of love, equality, and honor of women and children.
He preached forgiveness, turning the other cheek, and going the second mile. He
focused attention on the sick, poor, oppressed, and outcast, while challenging the
powerful.” (J. Ortberg)
Ten Revolutionary Teachings of Jesus:
If any of you wants to be My follower, you must turn from your selfish
Embrace a ways, take up your cross daily, and follow Me. if you try to hang on to your
surrendered and life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for My sake, you will save it.
sacrificial life. — Luke 9:23-24

You have heard people say, “Love your neighbors and hate your enemies.”
Love your But I tell you to love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you.
enemies. — Matthew 5:43-44
You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury:
‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say, do not resist an evil
person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also.
Do not take
— Matthew 5:38-39
revenge; turn the
other cheek. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the
servant life. no more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously. — Matthew 5:42
MSG
Forgive, and you will be forgiven. — Luke 6:37
Forgive —
Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come
without ceasing.
back to you saying “I repent,” you must forgive them. — Luke 17:4
Share the best of
who you When you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind,
are and what you and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid
have with those at the resurrection of the righteous. — Luke 14:13-14
who can’t
reciprocate.
I tell you not to worry about your life…. Can worry make you live longer? —
Matthew 6:25, Matthew 6:27
Do not worry. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get
worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. — Matthew 6:34
MSG
Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should
wash one another’s feet. — John 13:14
Practice
servanthood — it Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and
is the path to whoever wants to be first must be your slave — just as the Son of Man did
greatness. not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for
many. — Matthew 20:26-28
Take care! Protect yourself against the least bit of greed. Life is not
defined by what you have, even when you have a lot. — Luke 12:15 MSG
Protect yourself
Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust
from greed.
destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal… You cannot serve
both God and money. — Matthew 6:19, Matthew 6:24

Do not judge or Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not
condemn. be condemned. — Luke 6:37
God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth. —
Matthew 5:5
Humble yourself.
If you put yourself above others, you will be put down. But if you humble
yourself, you will be honored. — Luke 14:11

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Spiritual transformation is a long-term endeavor. It involves both God and us. I liken it
to crossing an ocean. Some people try, day after day, to be good, to become spiritually
mature. That's like taking a rowboat across the ocean. It's exhausting and usually
unsuccessful.
Others have given up trying and throw themselves entirely on "relying on God's grace."
They're like drifters on a raft. They do nothing but hang on and hope God gets them
there.
Neither trying nor drifting are very effective in bringing about spiritual transformation.
A better image the sailboat, in which if it moves at all, it's a gift of the wind. We can't
control the wind, but a good sailor discerns where the wind is blowing and adjusts the
sails accordingly.
Working with the Holy Spirit, which Jesus likened to the wind in John 3, means we have
a part in discerning the winds, in knowing the direction we need to go, and in training
our sails to catch the breezes that God provides .. until the image of Christ in us is
exactly like the original. THAT'S TRUE TRANSFORMATION.
Your story can be the story of transformation.

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BE COMPLETELY GENTLE/kind/temperate/calm self-controlled:
"In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the
devil a foothold.” We all know the opposite of anger is gentleness. In 1Tim 3:3 Paul says, “He must
not be a heavy drinker or be violent. He must be gentle, not quarrelsome, and not love money....”
(NLT)
Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV : “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away
from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as
God in Christ forgave you.
Anger: 1. a feeling of great annoyance/ /irritation/frustration/ thut or antagonism/hatred as the
result of some real or supposed grievance/ill-treatment/shah leh bymdei/bymhok; rage; wrath
2. The strong feeling you get when you think someone has treated you badly/leh sniew or
unfairly/leh bymdei, that makes you want to hurt them or shout at them
Everyone experiences anger, and it can be healthy. It can motivate us to stand up for ourselves and
correct injustices. When we manage anger well, it prompts us to make positive changes in our lives
and situations.
Mismanaged anger/jingbymlah ban synshar, on the other hand, is counterproductive and can be
unhealthy. When anger is too intense, out of control, misdirected, and overly aggressive, it can lead
to poor decision making/shim ki jingrai tang ban babe hadien and problem solving, create problems
with relationships and at work, and can even affect your health. Left unresolved, anger creates an
intense desire to destroy something. (Sources: Anger Research Consortium; American Psychological
Association)
3. Strong emotional reaction of displeasure/discontent, often leading to plans for revenge or
punishment. There are many words for anger in Hebrew; in Greek orge and thumos are used more
or less interchangeably. (Easton's Bible Dictionary)

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The Bible describes anger as a sin - a sin of mental attitude. As a sin, anger expresses antagonism,
exasperation/vexation, indignation, resentment, outrage. Anger usually produces an emotional
feeling, but the feeling is not the anger. The thought pattern which produced the feeling is the sinful
anger.
Anger is a feeling that results from being injured, mistreated/ignored or opposed. Rage is a violent
outburst of anger in which self-control is lost. Fury is an overwhelming rage of such a frenzy that it
borders on a sort of madness. Indignation is righteous anger aroused by what is unjust. Wrath is
deep indignation with the desire to punish or get revenge.
Examples of Righteous Anger
Psalms 7:11 (KJV) God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry with the wicked every day.
1 Kings 11:9,10 And the LORD was angry with Solomon, because his heart had turned away from the
LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice and had commanded him concerning this
thing, that he should not go after other gods. But he did not keep what the LORD commanded.
2 Kings 17:18 Therefore the LORD was very angry with Israel and removed them out of his sight.
None was left but the tribe of Judah only.
Mark 3:4,5 And he [Jesus] said to them, “Is it lawful on the Sabbath to do good or to do harm, to
save life or to kill?” But they were silent. And he looked around at them with anger, grieved at their
hardness of heart, and said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand
was restored.
John 2:13-16 The Passover of the Jews was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple
he found those who were selling oxen and sheep and pigeons, and the money-changers sitting there.
And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen. And he
poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. And he told those who
sold the pigeons, “Take these things away; do not make my Father’s house a house of trade.”
Results of Unrighteous Anger
Genesis 4:5-8 but for Cain and his offering he [the LORD] had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and
his face fell. The LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do
well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for
you, but you must rule over it.” Cain spoke to Abel his brother. And when they were in the field, Cain
rose up against his brother Abel and killed him.
Psalms 37:8 Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.
Proverbs 15:18 A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.
Proverbs 29:22 A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.
Proverbs 30:33 For pressing milk produces curds, pressing the nose produces blood, and pressing
anger produces strife.
James 1:19,20 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak,
slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Put Off Sinful Anger:
Galatians 5:19-21 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,
idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy,

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drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do
such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Galatians 5:22-25 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to
Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also
walk by the Spirit.
Ephesians 4:26-28 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no
opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work
with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.
Some of us have claimed this as our life verse. But you can’t do that; you must read in context. Paul,
by command, says be angry, but then he warns not to sin so in doing. Satan looks for opportunities
to turn supposedly “justifiable” anger into sin. The Bible- and our newspapers-are filled with
illustrations of this.
As we search the Scriptures, we find that righteous anger can only have one motive – an
affront/offend/insult/disrespect to God.
Anger is never a right response when someone has wronged you personally. Matthew 18:15 lays out
the proper response. If someone sins against you, go to that person and lovingly tell him or her of
the wrong. The text says, “If he listens to you, you have won your brother.”
Physicians tell us that many diseases of the body can be aggravated by this emotion. Just a few
seconds of anger can leave you drained, shaken or ruined for the rest of the day.
There was a man at a certain workplace who was a pretty placid, easy-going guy. But he came to a
point in life where sometimes his experience didn’t match expectations. He thought he should have
been promoted; instead some of his fellow employees were promoted beyond him. His wife said at
that moment he became a changed man.
He was angry. That anger festered inside for two and a half years, until he was completely poisoned.
One day, Mr. Nice Guy walked into his workplace with a shotgun; he killed four employees and
permanently paralyzed another. Now the man lives with the remorse of guilt under a lifetime
sentence in prison.
Anger is one of the most common and destructive sentiments in the modern world. “Of all the things
in the human heart, anger can be one of the most intense/khlain, destructive/pynjot, and
unhealthy/pynsniew emotions that we can experience.”
Self-destructive anger is especially dangerous, where the wish is to hurt oneself. Anger blames. It
awakens the powers of the self to mobilize for battle. It longs to vent, to spew words meant to
wound in revenge for the pain it has felt. Children blame parents and parents blame children.
Colleagues feel their person and rights are not adequately recognized and they seethe with
resentment. Anger shouts/pyrta eh when we’ve been betrayed/leh bymdei just as irritation/jingthut
grumbles/khnium when someone butts in line ahead of us. We are angry and live in an anger-filled
world.
Even when we are angry for the right reasons about the right things, we may engage in sinful
actions. Given our tendency to self-deception and rationalization, a fine line exists between justified
and unjustified anger. We are often unaware of anger’s true motives. Once aroused, anger spins out
of control.

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We live in a culture that encourages anger by espousing pride, instilling competitiveness and
speaking long and loud about our rights. We are pampered and told to stand up for our rights. When
things don’t go right, we are taught to fix the blame on someone or some system. Warfare is often
an expression of anger.
To oppose anger, the classic writers speak of love, humility, patience, forgiveness, compassion,
empathy, tranquility, non-violence and showing mercy. The tendency to anger is countered by
dispositions of an even temperament, humor, aversion to cruelty, self-criticism and self-control. The
next step to counter anger is to create habit patterns that make anger less and less likely as a
response to injury.
Scripture gives a solution: be angry but DO NOT SIN. However, taking wise action while you are angry
is exceedingly difficult. As the arousal level goes up, you suffer from what therapists sometimes call
‘cognitive incapacitation.’” Ortberg suggests stopping and asking “two key questions. (…) The first
key question is, ‘Why am I angry?’ The second question to ask is, ‘What do I want?’ What would I
like the outcome of this situation to be? (…) When we get angry, we start thinking about what we
can say that will win the argument or inflict pain. (…) [A]nger makes us feel that we are absolutely
in the right and are justified to do anything to hurt the other person. So a very good thing for people
with anger issues to say is, ‘I could be wrong.’” It need not even be an urge to hurt and would – I
much more frequently see my anger leading to defensive justification. And justifying myself doesn’t
encourage the other person to open up to me.
Carol Tarvis, a social psychologist writes, “The research on the subject indicates that expressing
anger has no intrinsic value. In fact, ventilating anger doesn’t rid of the feelings behind it. Anger
breeds more anger!”:
“The litmus test of spirituality is not the absence of conflict; conflict will not disappear until we die.
The litmus test is how we handle it.” “[I]f you’re going to involve a third party, you should do it with
the goal of finding reconciliation.” “[The] need for sensitivity is one of the most important – and
often misunderstood – aspects of healthy anger management. (…) Three major reviews, covering
dozens of studies over several decades, did not find a single study that demonstrates that catharsis –
letting anger fly – is an effective way to manage anger. It just creates more anger.”
Remember, anger, just like forgiveness, is a choice. It will not disappear immediately. Be willing and
eager to change. By God’s grace He’ll give us the needed forward motion.
Sometimes we get deep scars and wounds from people. Then we need something more than anger
management. We need a miracle.” The miracle, Ortberg writes, is forgiveness.
Forgiveness is what is required precisely when there is no good rationale to explain away why
someone did what they [sic] did. (…) When an action is excusable, it doesn’t require forgiveness.
(…) Forgiving is what’s required precisely when we can’t forget. (…) Forgiveness takes place within
the heart of one human being. It can be granted even if the other person does not ask for it or
deserve it.”
“As a general rule, where there is hurt, I am both the victim of and the agent of wrongdoing. In most
relationships where deep pain is involved, I must both forgive and seek forgiveness. (…) God
commands us to forgive whenever we’re hurt, and reconcile whenever we can, because life is too
short not to do so. (…)
Colossians 3:8, 12-13 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and
obscene talk from your mouth. Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate
hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a

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complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must
forgive.

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