Skills 360 – Meeting New People (Part 1)

Discussion Questions

1. How do you feel about talking to new people at events or gatherings?

2. How do you feel when people ask you questions about yourself in conversation?
3. What topics do you generally feel quite comfortable and confident talking about?

Vocabulary

Awkward: socially uncomfortable; “As the new guy in the office, my first few days
were kind of awkward, but I eventually felt comfortable.”

Intimidating: making you feel nervous or scared; “The CEO was intimidating at first,
but he really tried to make me feel relaxed by asking me personal questions.”

To strike up a conversation: to begin a conversation with someone you don’t know;

“Do you want me to introduce you to Roger, or are you comfortable striking up a
conversation with him on your own?”

Some sort of normalcy: a situation that feels mostly normal; “After so long dealing with
office renovations, I’m glad it’s done and we’ve returned to some sort of normalcy.”

To beef up: to enhance or make something stronger; “Doing volunteer work in the
community is a great way to beef up your resume.”

A bit of: a small amount; “I have a bit of time if you just need me to review the
document, but if you need more help you’ll have to ask Dave.”

To go a long way: to be useful or helpful for a long time; “Just a little bit of training
on spreadsheets can go a long way for any professional worker.”

Set-up: how a space is organized or arranged; “Let me know the set-up for the
meeting and I can make sure we get the right tables and chairs.”

To process something: to think about and understand information; “The whole

marketing team is still trying to process the sudden departure of their manager.”

To schmooze: to chat informally, especially for business purposes; “I can only

handle a couple hours of schmoozing at the bar before I need to be and relax.”

Fake: not real or authentic; “Everyone seems to think Tara’s really nice, but I find
her smile and whole personality kind of fake.”

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Small talk: casual conversation about unimportant topics; “A bit of small talk at the
start of a meeting is okay, but don’t let it take over the agenda.”

To put up with: to tolerate or accept something you don’t like; “We’ve been putting
up with these old laptops for too long now. Can’t we invest in some new ones?”

To change your mindset: to change your basic approach or way of thinking; “Listen
Ben, if you want to be successful you need to change your mindset and think more
positively.”

To match: to do or say something that is as good or better than something else; “I

don’t think I’ll be able to match Daniel’s sales last month, so I’m happy being the
second best salesperson for now.”

Honored: proud that you have been given special respect; “Let me begin my talk by
saying that I’m truly honored to invited to give a presentation at your conference.”

To look out for: watch for or pay attention for something in particular; “When
reading through this report, please look out for any grammar or spelling mistakes.”

Follow-up questions: extra questions you ask about a topic in conversation; “You can
prepare answers to common interview questions, but don’t be surprised if the
interviewer asks some follow-up questions as well.”

To stick to: to continue on one path, topic, or activity to be safe; “At this meeting,
I’d like to stick to our policy discussions, and if anything else comes up we can deal
with it at our staff meeting tomorrow.”

To delve into: to explore a topic in depth; “Before we delve into the budget, why
don’t we do a quick round of check-ins.”

Judgment call: a difficult decision that depends on the exact circumstances; “Yeah, I
know some people were upset by my hiring decision, but it was a tough judgment call.”

One-sided: only true about or happening in one side of a two-sided situation; “I feel
like my conversations with Ryan are really one-sided. I mean, he doesn’t really let
me speak.”

The sweet spot: just the right amount; “The sweet spot on a team like this is four
people. Any more and things go much too slow.”

To do something for a living: to be employed in a certain profession; “I used to

develop software for a living, but now I work as a lawyer.”

To handle: to deal with or be responsible for; “I’m supposed to be doing client

engagement, but most of the time I feel like I’m just handling complaints.”

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Business development: the activity of increasing a business’s network of potential
partners and clients; “The sales team hopes that a renewed focus on business
development will turn around the declining numbers.”

Corporate sales: sales from one company to another company; “Working in

corporate sales is much different than trying to sell to individual consumers.”

Nugget: a piece of very useful information or advice; “It’s a good idea after every
training session to write down a few nuggets that were especially powerful for you.”

Back and forth: discussion, exchange of ideas; “After a lot of back and forth we
finally decided to buy an eclectic vehicle for deliveries.”

On the lookout: watching out for something in particular; “As a growing company,
we’re always on the lookout for new young talent.”

Biotech: technology based on or designed from biology and living things or

creatures; “Advances in biotechnology have helped farmers increase their crop yields
and quality of their produce.”

To run with something: to embrace and continue dealing with a topic or activity;
“Okay, if everyone wants to talk about the budget cuts, then let’s run with it. Let’s
deal with all your questions.”

To struggle: to have difficulties with something; “I like working here overall, but I
struggle with the lack of clarity around roles and responsibilities.”

To flow: to move smoothly and continuously; “We need to organize the factor better
so the work flows more smoothly and we don’t get delays.”

Authentic: true to a person’s own personality or character; “In a job interview, you
want to make yourself look good, but you need to be authentic and not lie.”

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Transcript

Hello and welcome back to the Skills 360 podcast. I’m your host, Tim Simmons, and
today I want to talk about socializing and meeting new people.

For some, meeting new people seems to come very naturally. But for most of us, it
can be a bit awkward, or intimidating, to walk into a room full of strangers and try to
strike up a conversation. Knowing that it’s important to network doesn’t make it
easy. And with the return to some sort of normalcy in many countries, there’s even
more pressure to beef up our social skills. So where to start?

Well, a bit of preparation goes a long way. If you’re attending an event, find out
what the set-up is and what kind of people will be there. The more you know
beforehand, the less you need to process once you’re there. Then you can focus on
meeting new people.

One thing I want to emphasize here is that meeting new people doesn’t have to
look, or feel, like schmoozing. You don’t need to be fake to meet new people. Rather
than seeing small talk as something you have to put up with, look at meeting new
people as an opportunity.

And one way to embrace this opportunity and change your mindset is to focus on
learning. Learning comes from asking questions. So, instead of “hi, I’m Charlie and I
work for XL Logistics,” try “hi, I’m curious about that pin you’re wearing.” If
someone mentions a funny experience, you can ask more about it rather than
feeling you need to match it with a story of your own.

In fact, asking good questions is a really powerful way to build relationships. People
feel honored when they are asked questions. They feel interested in the conversation
when it relates to them. They feel someone is paying attention to them. And that
feels good.

So, look out for things you might ask follow-up questions about. If someone says
“my son and I went to Spain last year,” you’ve got two things to follow up on: the
son, and Spain. So you might ask “oh, and how old is your son?” or “which part of
Spain did you go to?”

If someone says “I work as a communications manager for Arcadia Forest Products,”

you might say “oh, how long have you been there?” Or you might say “Forest
products… so are you folks in the lumber business, or land management?” Note that
if someone talks mostly about work, then the safest approach is to stick to
professional topics. If they mention anything personal, then you can delve into more
personal topics. That’s a judgment call you’ll have to make within the conversation.

Now, questions are great, but conversations shouldn’t be one-sided. The person you
meet might be asking you questions. So you need to be prepared to give good
answers. And the trick here, when you’re meeting new people, is to hit the sweet

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spot in terms of length. Not too long, not too short. And don’t forget to add a “how
about you” to the end of your answer and help keep the conversation going.

Imagine someone has just told you what they do for a living, and they’ve turned the
conversation back to you and asked about your job. You might try something like
this: “Well, I’m director of partnerships at Atlas Banking. Basically, I handle business
development and corporate sales. Been there about 10 years. Great place to work.”
That provides just enough information and a few nuggets for the other person to ask
follow-up questions on.

In all of this back and forth of asking and answering questions, you should be on the
lookout for common interests or experiences. If you’re passionate about baseball, or
baking or biotech, and someone mentions this topic, run with it. People with
common interests don’t have to struggle to make conversation. When you find that
thing you both share, conversation will flow more easily.

So relax, and look for those people you can connect with naturally. I want to
emphasize again that meeting new people doesn’t have to mean becoming a new
person. You’ll connect better with others, and with the right people, if you just be
your authentic self.

That’s all for today. If you’d like to test yourself on what we’ve just covered, have a
look at the BusinessEnglishPod.com website. There you’ll find a quiz about today’s
show as well as a complete transcript.

So long. And see you again soon.

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Review

1. Why is it a good idea to prepare before you attend a networking event?

A Because it makes you look more professional.
B So that you can focus on new people, not understanding the situation.
C So that you know exactly who you want to talk to.
D Because events are less common than they used to be.

2. It’s a good idea to think of meeting new people as…

A … something you have to put up with.
B … a necessary unpleasant activity.
C … a chance to schmooze.
D … an opportunity.

3. Which of the following conversation-starters would show a learning mindset?

[choose 2]
A Well, I really find these events interesting for so many reasons.
B Hi, I’m Jacob, and I’m in marketing with a pharmaceutical company.
C You wouldn’t believe what happened to me on my way here.
D That’s an interesting tie. Is there a story behind it?

4. Why is asking questions a good way to build relationships? [choose 2]

A It makes people feel you’re paying attention to them.
B It keeps the focus off your personal problems.
C It gives you information you can use to your advantage.
D People like talking about themselves.

5. Which of the following is true about conversation with new people? [choose all
that apply]
A It should be one-sided.
B People often turn a topic back to the other person.
C We should aim to be as brief as possible when answering questions.
D We should ask follow-up questions based on what people say.
E We should never discuss personal topics.
F People generally feel good when you show interest.

6. The key to having a conversation that flows and feels easy is to…
A … control the topics of discussion.
B … find shared interests or experience.
C … avoid talking about yourself.
D … fill gaps in conversation with interesting stories.

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Review Answers

1. Why is it a good idea to prepare before you attend a networking event?

B So that you can focus on new people, not understanding the
situation.

2. It’s a good idea to think of meeting new people as…

D … an opportunity.

3. Which of the following conversation-starters would show a learning mindset?

D That’s an interesting tie. Is there a story behind it?

4. Why is asking questions a good way to build relationships? [choose 2]

A It makes people feel you’re paying attention to them.
D People like talking about themselves.

5. Which of the following is true about conversation with new people? [choose all
that apply]
B People often turn a topic back to the other person.
D We should ask follow-up questions based on what people say.
G People generally feel good when you show interest.

6. The key to having a conversation that flows and feels easy is to…
B … find shared interests or experience.

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