Module 1: Communication across cultures

Content Page

Lesson 1: Verbal Communication Across Cultures………………………………………. 2

Lesson 2: Nonverbal Communication Across Cultures………………………………….6
Lesson 3: Explicit and Implicit Communication…………………………………………..10
Lesson 4: Silence Across Cultures……………………………………………………………….15
Lesson 5: Seeking Versus Avoiding Confrontations…………………………………….19
Lesson 6: Cultural Misunderstandings………………………………………………………..22
Lesson 7: Cultural Compromise and Reconciliation…………………………………….28

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Lesson 1: Verbal Communication across Cultures
Hallo und Willkommen zur Lektion 1! Hello and welcome to lesson 1 of the module about
communication differences between cultures. In this lesson, I will talk about cultural differences
in the way we communicate. All managerial activity involves some form of communication. You
communicate when you write e-mails, when you negotiate with representatives of other
companies, or when you make decisions in your team. Hence, it’s important to know how
communication customs differ across countries so that you can avoid miscommunication as
much as possible.
This video presents examples of differences in verbal communication between cultures. The list
of examples is by no means comprehensive, but it will give you an overview of differences that
are helpful to keep in mind.
I want to mention here that countries also differ in their communication STYLES. Differences in
communication style are differences at deeper levels of culture. I will cover those differences in
another video.

Let me start with defining communication. Communication is the exchange of meanings. Each
communication involves a sender and a receiver. When people communicate, senders translate
their intended meanings into words and body language such as facial expressions, eye contact
and gestures. Language and body language transmit the meaning to receivers. Receivers take in
the messages through their senses. They hear the words; they see the facial expressions and
gestures.
Receivers then interpret what the words mean, what the facial expressions mean and what the
gestures mean.

What is Communication?
Communication is the exchange of meanings.

Verbal messages

Nonverbal messages

A Sender translates his/her intended

meanings into words and body
language.

Cultural A Receiver receives the messages

Cultural
through his/her senses and
Background interprets them. Background

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Senders and receivers both have certain cultural backgrounds. If they come from the same or a
similar background, then communication is smooth and uninterrupted, and the receivers get
exactly the meaning that the senders intended to transmit. If senders and receivers come from
culturally different backgrounds, the message transmission can be interrupted. Senders can
unwillingly send the wrong message, or receivers can misperceive and misinterpret the
message.

What is Miscommunication?

Sender Communication within cultures

Receiver

Communication across cultures

The sender can The receiver can

unwillingly send the misperceive and
wrong message. misinterpret the
message.

The following example illustrates how you can unwillingly send the wrong message. Imagine a
German and an American parent having a conversation about their children in kindergarten.
The word Kindergarden means something different even though it sounds the same in both
languages. In the US, kindergarden is the first grade of elementary school, children in a
kindergarden class are 5 years old. In Germany, a kindergarden is a pre-school like institution.
Children in kindergarden are 3 to 5 years old. The German parent could talk about a 3 year old
and the American about a 5 year old.

Most misunderstandings happen when receivers unwillingly mis-PERCEIVE and mis-INTERPRET a

message. If Americans come to Germany and look at unfriendly faces at the Berlin airport, they
might misinterpret this as sign of how Berliners are unhappy. However, Germans are not
unhappier than Americans; we just preserve friendly smiles for people we know. Smiling at
strangers feels dishonest to Germans.

I will now give several examples of differences in verbal communication.

The most visible difference which we all expect when we move abroad is the foreign language.
We can learn another language or use a translator. Sometimes, we make translation mistakes.
The internet is full of funny mistakes.

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We often have team members or business partners with different levels of English
comprehension and understanding. This matters in cases when English is the lingua franca. A
lingua franca is a bridge or trade language that people with different native languages use to
communicate with each other. Team members who are less proficient in English might not dare
to speak up at all, or if they speak, they might slow the communication down. To handle
different English levels in a team, team members with good English need to speak more slowly
and avoid using slang or English sayings. Another way to support non-native English speakers is
to give them more time. A team leader might ask team members to prepare their contributions
before the meeting so that they feel more confident contributing their ideas during the
meeting.

Cultures also differ in their essay writing style. American middle schoolers learn that a good
essay has the main point – the so called thesis-- in the introduction, even in the first paragraph.
They also learn that the thesis needs to be clear and outline the main points of the essay.
In German and French essays, the thesis is not in the introduction. German and French students
learn that good essays build up the argument in the body and then summarize the main thesis
in the conclusion.
A good French essay differs additionally even in the structure of the essay body. American and
German middle schoolers learn that the body of an essay is composed of 3-4 arguments with
evidence and examples supporting the thesis. French students learn that a good essay must
include not only arguments but also counterarguments. Counterarguments should help the
thesis to appear stronger.
Chinese students learn to examine a problem broadly from multiple perspectives so that
readers can form their own conclusion. American students focus on one point thoroughly and
explore that point into depth.

Another language related difference is how people write – from left to right, from right to left,
or from top to bottom. Some languages such as Arabic, Hebrew, the Syrian and the Tuareg
language write from right to left. Japanese, Korean, and Chinese can be written from left to
right (like English or German), but also in columns from top to bottom. Usually, a major
difference like this is well known and you would be made aware of it right away when you are
about to communicate in the new culture. Yet, it sometimes still can lead to misunderstandings.

What are the key learnings? The lesson is about cultural differences in verbal communication.
The lesson mentions:
Different languages – which might lead to translation mistakes.
Different levels of English comprehension and understanding which might slow down
communication.
Different essay writing styles.
And the fact that some cultures write from left to right, some from right to left, or from top to
bottom.

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Key Learnings
Cultures differ in their verbal and nonverbal communication.

Differences in verbal communication that might lead to misunderstandings:

different languages (translation mistakes)

different levels of English comprehension and understanding
different essay writing styles
writing from left to right, from right to left, or from top to bottom

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Lesson 2: Nonverbal Communication across Cultures
Hallo und Willkommen zur Lektion 2! Hello and welcome to lesson 2 of the module about
communication differences between cultures. In this lesson, I will talk about difference in
nonverbal communication or body language.
Next to verbal communication or language, we communicate a large part of our messages
through our body language. Some authors argue that we transmit up to two thirds of
information through body language. We only transmit one third with words.
Cultures have developed different gestures, different rules for facial expressions, eye contact,
and personal space.
In the field of facial expressions, Paul Ekman – an American psychologist – is a famous name. He
showed pictures of facial expressions to people in the U.S., Japan, Argentina, Chile and Brazil
and found that people could recognize the emotions correctly no matter what country or
culture they were from. Cultures express the seven basic emotions -- happiness, surprise,
contempt, sadness, anger, disgust, and fear -- in the same way, but they differ in their rules
when it is okay to express the emotions and how strong they can be expressed – which are the
so-called display rules.

David Matsumoto compared display rules between Japan and the US. He found that in Japan
the display of negative emotions is discouraged. Japanese should not show anger, disgust,
contempt, and fear in the presence of other people because they should not make others feel
uncomfortable. If they are angry or fearful, for example, they should control how much of it
they show on their face. This matters even more for Japanese men than for Japanese women.
Next to facial expressions, eye contact is also an important part of body language. Eye contact is
about looking someone directly in the eyes or avoiding direct eye contact, and about how long
do we look. Eye contact conveys a lot of information.

Direct eye contact is often seen as sign that someone is honest and trustworthy. In France, you
may have prolonged eye contact, in the US that would be seen intrusive. In job interviews,
frequent direct eye contact is seen as sign of self-confidence. In cultures where this is the case,
you appear shy or unconfident if you avoid eye contact. But frequent direct eye contact is not a
sign of self-confidence in all cultures.
In many Asian countries, for example in Korea, Japan, and Vietnam, it is considered rude or at
least odd to look directly into the eyes of another person if the person is higher in the social
hierarchy. Direct eye contact is seen as somewhat disrespectful; it can even be seen as
aggressive. You look in the general direction of the other but speak with your head bowed and
your eyes lowered.
In Korea, you bow your head when you greet someone. While bowing your head, you close
your eyes or keep them downcast. You also avoid direct eye contact with someone older or in
position of authority. Direct eye contact would seem as though you are questioning their
authority or status. Traditionally, Korean men used to also avoid direct eye contact with
women.

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This body language can easily be misunderstood. American or German managers, for example,
could feel neglected or disrespected when Korean team members look away when they greet
them.

Personal space is another aspect of body language that differs a lot across cultures. Personal
space is the space around you which you feel is your own space. Most people feel discomfort,
or even anger if someone intrudes in their personal space. In the US, children learn at school
that personal space is the space until the end of your arm length. For me as German, this seems
an overly large personal space, we have a smaller personal space than Americans. Cultures vary
largely in what they regard as their personal space. I once had a colleague from Morocco who
explained to me, that Moroccans like to smell someone to decide if they can trust them; hence,
they need to come physically much closer to each other, so close that they can smell the other
person.
In general, we can say that Northern European countries and the US prefer larger personal
space. This has something to do with their lower population density. Arab countries prefer
smaller personal space.

Personal Space
Personal space is the region surrounding a person that
they guard towards intrusion.

Most people value their personal space and feel

discomfort, or anger if someone intrudes into their
space.

Small personal space Large personal space

Arab India and Southern South Asia Northern

Countries Pakistan Europe America Europe and
America

Gestures also differ between cultures. Gestures are movements that you make with your hand,
your head or other parts of your body. There are many culturally diverse gestures. Gestures
that look the same but have different meanings can also lead to misunderstandings. Hence, we
also need to keep gestures in mind when we interact with people across the world. I generally
advise my students to not use gestures when they are abroad just to avoid misunderstandings.

Thumbs up means in most cultures “well done” or “perfect”. In Iraq it is an insult similar to the
middle finger.

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This is the equivalent sign for the American middle finger in China.

Another gesture that is different in China, is, you tap your nose when you mean to say “I”
whereas in the US it means: “I am thinking”.

Handshakes can be different across cultures. In many cultures, handshakes between business
partners are strong to signal confidence and seriousness, and they are short. You take the hand,
shake it briefly and let go while saying hello or goodbye. In many African countries, such as for
example in Nigeria, the handshake is soft, and your hand is held for a long time.

The V sign is known as meaning victory or peace.

But if you hold the hand like this, it means a serious insult in the UK, Australia, South Africa,
India, Pakistan, and New Zealand.

There are gestures to say “no”. In most countries you shake your head to say “no”
In Greece and parts of Bulgaria, you toss the head up to say “no”
In Japan, you can also shake your hand in front of the nose to indicate a “no” (like it’s stinky).

Pointing with a finger is rude in almost every country. It’s ok to use your whole hand.
In Philippines and in many indigenous cultures, you can point with the mouth as well.

This finger gesture means - A – okay in the US and China. But it means the opposite in France,
where it is the sign for the number zero meaning something is very bad.

How did our body language develop? Gestures developed based on biological factors AND also
social factors. The development of the handshake is a good example to illustrate the
combination of social and biological factors. One hypothesis for why we shake hands says that
in ancient war times, when people met one another, they showed to each other an empty right
hand to signal that they had no weapon. This hypothesis is favored by Western archeologists,

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who believe that the handshake developed in ancient Greece as a symbol of peace. The
handshake made sense for social reasons.

But another hypothesis for the handshake says there are also biological reasons. The hypothesis
says that we humans can use bodily scent to get information about another person. We might
have developed handshakes to get the smell of another person on our hands. Scientists secretly
filmed people and saw them briefly smelling their hands after shaking hands with another
person, and more so when shaking hands with another person of the same sex.

What are the key learnings?

The lesson illustrates cultural differences in nonverbal communication. For example, cultures
express the seven basic emotions in the same way but differ in the display rules that tell you
when it is okay to look upset or angry and how much. Other examples included were: Direct eye
contact – looking straight into someone’s eyes. This is considered rude and disrespectful in
many Asian countries. Personal space – how much far away people stand. Northern European
countries and the US prefer larger personal spaces than other cultures. How to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’
without words. In most countries you shake your head to say “no” In Greece and parts of
Bulgaria, you toss the head up; in Japan, you can also shake your hand in front of the nose.
Finally, I touched upon ideas about how our body language developed. We assume that
gestures developed based on biological factors AND also on social factors.

Key Learnings
Cultures differ in their verbal and nonverbal communication.

Examples of differences in body language that might lead to misunderstandings:

Cultures differ in the rules regarding emotion display

Direct eye contact is considered rude and disrespectful in many Asian countries
Northern European countries and the US prefer a large personal space
In most countries you shake your head to say “no” In Greece and parts of
Bulgaria, you toss the head up
We assume that gestures developed based on biological factors and on social factors.

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Lesson 3: Explicit versus Implicit Communication
Hallo und willkommen zur Lektion 3. In English: Hello and welcome to lesson 3. This lesson is
about explicit versus implicit communication. Explicit versus implicit communication refers to
several communication behaviors that all have to do with how clear and simple or how
sophisticated and indirect you express your thoughts. These communication behaviors together
constitute a style.
“Explicit communication” and “Implicit communication” are two ends of a continuum that
describes how direct or indirect we communicate; cultures or countries are positioned
somewhere on the continuum between the two ends; they either prefer more explicit
communication or they prefer more implicit communication.
Explicit communication means, that thoughts and plans are conveyed straightforwardly.
Senders must send messages as simple and clear as possible. Senders must make sure they are
understood. If receivers don’t understand the message, it’s the senders that are blamed.
Children in cultures that prefer explicit communication learn in school that good
communication is clear communication. American children, for example, hear from their
teachers: “Say what you mean and mean what you say”. Explicit communication is also labeled
low-context communication because one needs very little context to understand the meaning
of the communication. It is very clear. The message’s meaning is mostly transported with
words. The context is less important. The distinction of cultures into cultures with a preference
for low-context or explicit communication and a preference for high context or implicit
communication goes back to research of Edward Hall, a famous American anthropologist who
already published a book about it in the 1960s.
Countries that strongly prefer explicit communication are the United States, Australia, the
Netherlands, Germany, Finland, Denmark, and the UK. The image shows the continuum and the
positions of several countries. This illustration is taken from Erin Meyer’s book “The Culture
Map” which she published in 2015. She based the positioning of the countries along the
continuum between explicit and implicit communication on her personal observations of
international managers in consulting projects she has been involved with.

Implicit communication means feelings and thoughts are expressed between the lines.
Messages are sent implicitly. Receivers must read between the lines. Good communication is
subtle. If receivers do not understand a message, the receivers—and not the senders—are to
be blamed. To a large extent, meaning is implied in the body language, and other contextual
clues. Additionally, writing is less clear and simple. Implicit communication is also labeled high-
context communication because you need lots of context to understand the meaning. The
implicit message can not be understood by outsiders who have not learnt to decipher the
context. Japanese describe someone who is good in correctly detecting the meaning of implicit
communication as “one who can read the air”. Children learn at home and in school, how to
read the subtle messages of the body language and the context. They learn to figure out what
senders mean instead of trusting just their words. They learn how to use the context when
interpreting a message.
People in cultures with implicit communication know how to detect the hidden meaning.

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Interestingly, people still make mistakes. Because reading between the lines is not easy. They
might come to different results when they attempt to detect the meaning. But this is not a big
concern to people in cultures with implicit communication. People keep this in mind, that it
could be misunderstood what they say.

While countries in general prefer either implicit or explicit communication, people in countries
with explicit communication also sometimes communicate indirectly. For example, friends
whose friendship goes way back, and family members can use implicit communication. They
can just hint at stories or just say some words and the other immediately knows what you are
referring to. And also in cultures with implicit communication, people sometimes communicate
clearly. In certain situations, clear explicit communication is preferred. For example, in the
medical profession, or in dangerous situations.
Implicit communication also serves a purpose in cultures with authoritarian government.
People in those countries need implicit communication to circumvent censorship. I grew up in
socialist East-Germany which was an authoritarian state without free speech. We learned in our
families and schools how to implicitly communicate politically diverging opinions and where it
would be okay to implicitly communicate them. For instance, in theaters, progressive
ensembles and directors prepared plays that made fun of life in socialism and provoked critical
thinking. But the plays had to be creative in finding ways to be critical that would pass the
censorship. Plays were censored before they were put on stage. I remember once watching the
play “Wilhelm Tell”, it’s about a Swiss marksman named William Tell who killed a tyrannic
governor in the early 14th century. The story of William Tell (or as we say in German “Wilhelm
Tell”) is a well-known legend. The governor in the play wants his people to bow in front of a
pole with his hat on it. The director of the play used a hat that looked exactly like the hat that

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the chairman of our East-German socialist party wore. This allowed us to think that there was a
resemblance between the tyrannic governor of the play and our chairman. Everyone in the
audience then could detect that—only on the surface—the play was a well-known play about a
historical event of the 1400s. The play passed the censorship. But the play’s hidden meaning
was to liken our government to a tyrannic governor who degrades his subordinates. Applause
erupted as soon as the pole with the hat appeared on stage and the audience gave minute long
standing ovations after the end.

France also prefers implicit communication. In France, you can argue with each other about
pretty much every topic, but you use indirect or implicit communication for delicate issues such
as criticism of a superior or friend. This is considered to be sophisticated. Children learn to
communicate delicate information indirectly, to hide an important sensitive information behind
the words that are spoken out loud. The hidden message is the so-called “message of the
second degree” and the plain, spoken message the so-called “message of the first degree”.
Being a good communicator in France means being a sophisticated communicator who can hide
delicate messages.
Many implicit-communication cultures also have high-context languages where many words
can be interpreted in different ways, and you need the context to correctly understand their
meaning. The Chinese language is such an example. In Chinese, many words can have multiple
meanings. In English, there are only some words that can have multiple meanings. Like, for
example, the word “date”.
Implicit communication is an important factor to remember when doing business. If you ask
your suppliers in a culture with implicit communication, if they can deliver by next week, and
they cannot deliver by next week, you might get an indirect answer such as “It will be difficult”
or “We will think about it”. Both answers mean “No, we are not able to deliver but we want to
spare both of us the embarrassment to say it out loud.”
In Japan, business partners might invite you to informal meetings when they are afraid that you
disagree with their proposal or if they disagree. You are in a social environment and have some
drinks together, which makes it easier to mention objections. Your Japanese business partners
where still might be very indirect and only hint at disagreements like: “I may be making this
comment based on my limited experience and I may be wrong…”. One can then look at
nonverbal cues to how this point is received by the others and maybe further weaken the
argument. Countries, where communication happens indirectly are for example, Korea, Japan,
Indonesia, China, Kenya, France, Singapore, Russia. Mexico, Peru, Spain, and Argentina are in
the middle of this dimension.

We can find implicit communication also in the use of emojis. My students told me that several
emojis used in the Chinese App Wechat do not mean what you see on the surface. Thus, they
have implicit meanings differing from what we see on first sight. The smiley on top means that
even though you smile you think rather harsh things, like “please end this conversation” or
“your stupidity makes me speechless”.
The smiley with the waving hands looks like a friendly good-bye but can also mean something
like “I despise you and really don’t want to talk to you. Please go away.” The watermelon eating

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face means that you are watching a situation, you watch a drama between people as it
happens, or you want to express that you do not care about a conflict and just watch.

According to Meyer, the more heterogeneous a culture is, the more explicit is their
communication. People in a very heterogeneous culture do not all share the same context. The
United States, for example, has a very heterogeneous population. With immigrants from many
diverse cultures, the first settlers learned that their communications had to be as simple and
clear as possible if they wanted to be understood. Homogeneous cultures on the other hand
had a long time to develop shared contexts that the members of the culture all understand and
can interpret correctly.
How do we best handle situations when people with different preferences meet, when people
using implicit communication meet with people using explicit communication? Such a situation
can lead to misunderstandings. For example, when team members who communicate explicitly
send out a memo after a meeting where they summarize the discussion. Members from
cultures with implicit communication might think: “Why do they feel the need to summarize
the meeting? Do they think we are too dumb to understand?”
Team members who communicate implicitly can also be misunderstood. Team members that
are used to explicit communication might think: “Why do they not clearly say what they think?
Do they want to hide their real intentions? Are they even dishonest?”
What is easier to learn, implicit or explicit communication? It’s easier for managers from
implicit-communication cultures to adapt to explicit communication than the other way
around. Implicit communication requires learning the context and the shared meanings and
that takes time. Therefore, in multicultural teams with members from both types of cultures,
the choice must be to communicate explicitly. Even in a team composed of members from two
different countries that both communicate implicitly, the team should still change to explicit

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communication. Having grown up in one type of context does not prepare you to correctly
interpret a different type of context.

What are the key learnings from this lesson?

Some cultures such as the US, Australia, Canada, Germany, and the Netherlands prefer explicit
communication. Explicit communication means that thoughts and plans are conveyed
straightforwardly.
Senders must send messages as simple and clear as possible.
Good communication is clear communication. In the United States, children learn early to “Say
what you mean and mean what you say”.
Other cultures, such as China, Japan, Indonesia, Korea prefer implicit communication. Implicit
communication means that feelings and thoughts are expressed between the lines.
Receivers must read between the lines. For example, Japanese say they must “read the air”.
Business partners hint at disagreements; they do not directly say ‘no’. This difference is
important when you deal with business partners. You might get a “maybe” “Maybe we can
deliver” or “We need to think about it” – which could mean “no, no we cannot deliver”. It
would be good to have this in mind when you think about the outcome of the business
meeting.

Key Learnings
Explicit communication means:

Thoughts and plans are conveyed straightforwardly.

Senders must send messages as simple and clear as possible

Good communication is clear communication, e.g., “Say what you mean and mean what you
say”.

Implicit communication means:

Feelings and thoughts are expressed between the lines

Receivers must read between the lines, e.g., “read the air”

Business partners hint at disagreements; they do not directly say “no”

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Lesson 4: Silence across Cultures

Hallo und Willkommen zur Lektion 4. Welcome to lesson 4. This lesson is about an aspect of
communication, the aspect of silence. Silence is not the first thing that comes to mind, when
we think about communication, but silence and more specifically the question “How long do we
tolerate pauses in conversations?” is an important aspect of communication. Cultures differ in
their tolerance for silence.
What do we mean when we talk about silence?
We talk about two types of silence, social silence, and conversational pauses.

Social silence refers to social situations where some people choose to be silent even though
they could talk with each other. Such situations occur, for example, when you are waiting with
others in the baggage claim area at an airport. What do you do? Are you silently waiting, or do
you approach others with small talk? Americans, but also people from New Zealand, or
Australia use small talk to fill the silence, to connect with others, and to cover the waiting time.
Germans (also Russians and Scandinavians) don’t use small talk and prefer to be silent. We also
witness social silence when conversations die down at parties. Everyone becomes silent for a
moment; people are processing their thoughts or think about new topics of conversation. The
silence will end if someone starts a new topic. How long do those moments of silence last
before people feel uncomfortable? Social silence can last seconds to minutes.
Pauses in a conversation – the time between two people speaking -- are much shorter; they can
last just milliseconds and be as long as 2 seconds. There are two types of conversational pauses:
inter-turn silences and times before answering a question. An inter-turn silence is the time
between two people’s turns in a conversation. People have different social rules regarding
when to speak. Do I start speaking before the current speaker is done? Or, do I start speaking
after the current speaker is done? Deborah Tannen the author who also wrote the Men are
from mars and women are from venus book, described a dinner conversation between three
New Yorkers, two Californians and a British person. The New Yorkers jumped right into a pause
that was so short that the Californians and the British did not even realize that there was a
pause. The Californians and the British person kept waiting for a pause long enough to signal to
them it was okay to speak. But it never came. As a result, the Californians and the British felt
that they had been left out of the conversation.
A pause can also be the time you take before answering a question. The average time that
people take to respond to a yes or no question is about the same time that it takes to blink an
eye: 200 milliseconds. Generally, Japanese answer the fastest with a lag of 7 milliseconds, the
Danish the slowest with a lag of close to half a second. English speakers fall somewhat in the
middle with a response time of 236 milliseconds. It's important to note that cultural differences
in conversational pauses are very small; it’s a question of milliseconds. However, the
differences are subjectively felt much longer. Enfield claims in his book “How we talk. The
workings of conversations” that that our brains are hypersensitive to speech delays. Due to this
hypersensitivity, we wrongly perceive pauses as long, when they are only half a second longer
than what we are used to. Based on this, we then judge people using longer pauses as slow,
silent, or taciturn.

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We can distinguish two types of cultures with respect to silence. In some cultures, people feel
comfortable to be silent and conversational pauses can be slightly longer. These cultures have a
high tolerance for silence. In other cultures, people feel uncomfortable to be silent in the
presence of other people. These cultures have a low tolerance for silence. In cultures with a low
tolerance for silence, silences are felt as a break in the communication and make people
uncomfortable. People feel the need to fill those silences quickly. Tolerance for silence is a
continuum with two ends, high tolerance marking one end and low tolerance the other.
Countries are positioned somewhere along the continuum.

In cultures with a high tolerance for silence, people tolerate silence and view silence as a
positive aspect of communication and even as necessary to keep the conversation flowing.
People believe that you need to be silent to think and gather information.
Being silent is socially acceptable. Being together without talking is felt harmonious and not
stressful. People feel it’s polite to leave others in peace.
Too much talk is viewed negatively. You might be seen as being superficial if you do not give
others enough time to be quiet and think. You might even be seen as selfish because you
seemingly want to dominate the conversation with your ideas and thoughts. In some cultures, it
is considered polite to pause for a few seconds before answering a question to demonstrate
that you carefully thought about your response.
In cultures with high tolerance for silence, being silent is linked to values such as reticence,
patience, harmony, thoroughness. In Germany, there is an old saying “talking is silver and
silence is golden”. Some German regions – regions in the very North -- have a high tolerance for
silence and other regions – regions in the South-- have a low tolerance for silence. Northern
Germans are known for their reticence. The new chancellor of Germany comes from the North,

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which is reflected in his communication style. The German news media sometimes criticize him
for not communicating enough.
In cultures with high tolerance for silence, silence is also used to intentionally convey meanings.
Silence can be used to convey that one is currently thinking; silence can convey agreement, and
it can also convey disagreement. Observers must decode the meaning using the context and
the body-language of others in the room. Hence, we often associate countries with high
tolerance for silence with countries that also prefer high-context or implicit communication.
Which is true for Asian cultures and indigenous cultures such as indigenous American cultures.
However, Northern European cultures such as Sweden and Finland, that have a high tolerance
for silence prefer explicit communication.

Cultures with low tolerance for silence can be found in Northern and Southern America, and
Central and Southern Europe. Here, being talkative is viewed positively and long silence is
viewed negatively. Pauses are viewed as waste of time. Pauses of a certain length are seen as
interruptions of the conversation flow. Canadians perceive pauses that are longer than 1.5
seconds as interruptions of the conversation flow. It means that people’s attention switches
from the content of the conversation to the pause. They become aware of the pause and think:
“What’s going on? What made us pause?”
In cultures with low tolerance for silence, silence makes people uncomfortable. Silence is felt as
void that must be filled. People assume that everyone feels uncomfortable with a break in the
conversation. Therefore, they quickly jump to a new topic when a brief silence occurs feeling
personally responsible to end the discomfort. In cultures with low tolerance for silence, one
must notify others of needing a pause saying something like: “hold your thought” or “wait a
minute”. In cultures with high tolerance for silence, that is unnecessary.

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Like all cultural differences, the different cultural habits regarding silence in communication can
also lead to cultural misinterpretations when we wrongly assume that others are like us and
judge them based on our own cultural norms.
If someone pauses before answering a question, someone from a low-tolerance culture might
wrongly assume, they do not know the answer. People who are attentively listening and
thoughtfully processing what was said, might be wrongly seen as being bored.
Finnish people’s silence has been misinterpreted as indifference, sullenness, or hostility, even
though the Finnish themselves consider it as polite and considerate to leave other people in
peace.
On the other hand, people from high-tolerance-for-silence-cultures, might misperceive the
others as being too talkative, hectic, and superficial, because they do not take the time to think.

What are the key learnings of this lesson? Cultures have a different tolerance for silence.
Cultures with high tolerance for silence view silence positively and do not use small-talk with
strangers. They have slightly longer conversational pauses which are on average still just
milliseconds to seconds. Examples of cultures with high tolerance for silence are Asian cultures,
indigenous cultures, Finland, Sweden, Norway, and Northern Germany.
Cultures with low tolerance for silence view being talkative positively and view pauses as waste
of time. Silence makes people uncomfortable. People fill silence with strangers with small-talk.
Conversational pauses are very short; they are sometimes imperceptible to people from other
cultures. Examples of cultures with a generally low tolerance for silence are Northern and
Southern American, and Central and Southern European cultures.

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Lesson 5: Seeking Versus Avoiding Confrontation

Hallo und Willkommen zur Lektion 5. Hello and welcome to lesson 5 of the module about
communication differences across cultures. This lesson is about a communication style with
respect to Disagreements. Erin Meyer described this style in her book “The culture map”.
Working internationally as consultant, she observed that some cultures were much more
comfortable with disagreements than others. Just as the style “Explicit versus implicit
communication”, this communication-style is a continuum where countries have a place
between the ends of either “Seeking confrontation” or “Avoiding confrontation”.
Cultures who are closer to the end of “Seeking confrontation” are fine with confrontations and
view disagreement and debate positive. Disagreements are seen as intellectual stimulation.
Ideas need to be challenged to ensure their substance. People in cultures that seek
disagreements think that you can openly criticize another person’s opinions and ideas and that
this will not necessarily affect the relationship. Israel, France, and the Netherlands are
prominent examples of this end of the communication dimension. You may have heard of the
French love for debates. Foreigners are often amazed when they are invited at a French dinner
and the dinner guests are having an animated conversation where they take extreme points
and are not looking for a compromise, instead harshly criticize one another. When you then
think, that at least one of them will now leave and not come back, they hug each other and are
still best friends having enjoyed a great night.
Expressing disapproval or disagreement is regarded as polite in Israel because this reflects the
speaker’s sincerity; it is considered better to be straightforward with criticism than hiding it.
Germans would be a bit more cautious in expressing disagreement, but similarly value being
straightforward with criticism.
Cultures on the “seeking confrontations” end of the continuum perceive confrontation as
intellectually stimulating. If you present your ideas at a meeting in such a culture, you need to
prepare yourself to have your presentation heavily challenged. I have seen American professors
in the Netherlands become dispirited when students would constantly question their
viewpoints and even disturb the classroom atmosphere in an attempt to challenge the
teacher’s authority. In Dutch classrooms, it’s viewed as acceptable behavior to chat during a
lecture and if a teacher reprimands the noisy students, the other students in the lecture hall
watch curiously to see whether the teacher is successful in calming the classroom. Only a
teacher unfaced by those disturbances would earn the students’ respect. Such behavior
appears rude and disrespectful in the eyes of Americans. As you can see in the picture that
shows where Erin Meyer in her book “The Culture Map” places countries on this continuum,
the US is right in the middle between the two ends of Seeking and Avoiding confrontation. To
be more precise, I would place the American East-Coast closer to the “Seeking confrontation”
end of the continuum and the American Midwest and the West Coast closer to the “Avoiding
confrontations” end. My husband is born in Boston and enjoys a confrontational discussion just
like the French people do, whereas my children who grew up in the Midwest would rather
avoid confrontational discussions.

I’d like to add as a side note that the communication style of “seeking versus avoiding
confrontations” does not necessarily mean being loud and presenting your emotions. People

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from Germany, Denmark, and the Netherlands disagree and debate calmly and subpress their
emotions, while people from Israel, France, Russia, Spain, and Italy are emotionally expressive
when engaging in a debate. All these countries are at the “seeking confrontation” end of the
continuum.
In cultures that avoid confrontation, disagreement and debate are viewed as negative and open
confrontation is avoided because it hurts people’s feelings. If you confront someone openly, it
will impact the relationship. Hence, you avoid confrontations. Instead, you hope that problems
will sort themselves out. You avoid topics like politics and religion at dinner parties. Bringing up
confrontational topics is seen as social blunder.

Misunderstandings can occur if you are unaware of the communication style of your own
culture and that of your communication partner. Imagine you come from a culture like France,
Israel, the Netherlands, or Germany, and you are used to confrontational communication. You
might find dinner parties that avoid confrontational topics rather boring and maybe even doubt
that your dinner guests have sufficient intellectual abilities to be able to carry a stimulating
conversation. Or you might unintentionally offend your communication partners when you
challenge their opinions if they prefer avoiding confrontations.
If you come from Indonesia, Sweden, Ghana, or China, and you are used to avoid
confrontations, you might feel the critical comments of your French or German colleagues after
your presentation overly critical and even offensive. Your French and German colleagues
intended to constructively challenge you. But it rather feels like an attack on your professional
credibility and your self-image as confident employee might be damaged.

In summary, what should you take away from this lesson? What are the key learnings?
Countries differ in their preferences regarding disagreements.

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Some cultures such as Israel, France, Germany, and Russia tolerate or even seek disagreements.
This means that people view disagreement and debate positively. Openly criticizing another
person’s opinions and ideas will not affect the relationship. It’s okay to talk about divisive topics
like politics and religion at dinner parties, people are not afraid that such discussions will end
up in a fight, they enjoy an emotional debate.
Other cultures, such as Indonesia, Thailand, Japan, and Ghana, rather avoid disagreements
which means that people in these cultures view disagreement and debate negatively because
they hurt people’s feelings. Confronting someone openly will impact the relationship. People
avoid divisive topics like politics and religion at dinner parties.
Knowing about this difference is helpful, when you are invited to a Russian business dinner and
heavily challenged. You might think that the Russians have already decided that they are not
interested in a deal, but instead they challenge you to see if you are intellectually capable to
withstand confrontation which means they can trust you.

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Lesson 6: Cultural Misunderstandings
Hallo und Willkommen zu Lektion 6. Hello and welcome to lesson 6 of the module about
communication differences across cultures. This lesson is about cultural misunderstandings. I
will be talking about what happens when people from different cultures misunderstand each
other and why do they misunderstand each other. More specifically, I will talk about the
different mental processes leading to cultural misunderstandings.
When people communicate, senders translate their intended meanings into words and body
language such as facial expressions, eye contact and gestures. Language and body language
transmit the meaning to receivers. This can go wrong if the sender speaks a different language
than the receiver, is less or more proficient in English than the receiver or uses body-language
that the receiver misunderstands. The meaning transfer can also go wrong on the side of the
receiver. This lesson focuses on the mental processes of receivers. What is going on when
receivers misperceive and misinterpret the senders’ messages?
When receivers perceive the messages, they take in the messages through their senses. They
hear the words; they see the facial expressions and gestures. Receivers then interpret what the
words mean, what the facial expressions mean and what the gestures mean, sometimes also
using information of the situational context. If senders and receivers come from culturally
different backgrounds, it’s more likely that the message transmission can be interrupted, and
receivers can MISperceive and MISinterpret the message.

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As you can see in the image, I will discuss four mental processes leading to cultural
misunderstandings: selective perception, assumed similarity, attribution errors, and
ethnocentrism.
The first mental process that causes misperceptions is called Selective Perception. We always
cope with an information overload. Our brain is not able to process all the information coming
into us through our senses, like eyes, ears, nose, touch. We only selectively perceive our
surroundings. Selective Perception means that we systematically screen out the information
overload.
To do so, we use screening patterns. A stereotype is a perceptual screening pattern that
organizes our experience and guides our behavior toward various groups. It represents an
oversimplified opinion of another cultural group, but it is not per definition negative. A
stereotype will have a negative effect if it we use it to judge others. Then it becomes a
prejudice. A prejudice is a mostly negative judgment that one has conceived before real
experience with an individual, a group, a race. A prejudice can be related to a stereotype but
does not have to be.
Imagine, you visit your German colleague’s family for the first time. You have heard of the
stereotype that Germans are very punctual and, therefore, you put more effort into being on
time. In this case, the stereotype would help you. The Germans would have a good first
impression of you. Another widespread stereotype about Germans is that they are hierarchical.
This stereotype might become a prejudice if you expect Germans to always be hierarchical. It
would be incorrect because, in the realm of decision-making, Germans are less hierarchical than
Americans. They spend much more time to come to a consensus on decisions than Americans
would typically do.
I would like to add here a side note about stereotypes and prejudices - it might be interesting to
know that stereotypes and prejudices develop when people create a social identity. That has
been shown by Muzafer Sherif, (1954) in the Robbers Cave field experiments. 11 year-old boys
boys were divided up into 2 groups. During the first week they just spent time with their group
and developed positive attitudes about their own group. Once, they started competing against
the boys of the other group, the two groups developed negative stereotypes and prejudices
about each other which went as far as physical fights. Surprisingly, the negative stereotypes did
not disappear when the competitions ended, and the two groups were brought together for
shared activities like meals. Instead, the negativity even increased because the boys would look
for behavior in the members of the other group, that confirmed their stereotypes. The
stereotypes were used as screening patterns. The negative stereotypes only disappeared when
both teams needed to work together towards superordinate goals, for example, working
together to fill the camp’s water tank.
Besides selective perception, another mental process leading to misunderstandings is
“Assumed Similarity”. We assume that other people possess the same qualities and
characteristics as we have. We assume, that other people are more like us than they actually
are, or that another person’s situation is more like our own situation than it actually is. We also
assume that our judgments about similar others are more accurate than they actually are.
Let me illustrate this mental process of assumed similarity based on an example. It was
described by another famous UofI psychologist, Harry Triandis.

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In 1991, U.S. Secretary of State James Baker met Iraq’s foreign minister, Tariq Aziz. Baker calmly
told Aziz that the U.S. would attack Iraq if Iraqi forces did not leave Kuwait.
Also present in the room was the half-brother of Saddam Hussein, who called Hussein with
updates on the talks. He told Saddam Hussein that the U.S. would not attack: “The Americans
will not attack. They are weak. They are calm. They are not angry. They are only talking.” Six
days later, the US invaded Iraq. How could Hussein’s half-brother misunderstand James Baker
and believe the US would not attack? If an Iraqi wants to threaten you and is angry, you would
be able to tell. The anger would be visible. According to Triandis, an Iraqi might even hit the
table with his fist. How did the mental process of assumed similarity come into play? The half-
brother of Saddam Hussein assumed that Americans behave similar to Iraqis when they want to
threaten someone. He assumed that Americans just like Iraqis become loud and very visibly
angry. He then also tried to reason about their intentions: Being calm and collected can only
mean you are not really angry. Hence, he was sure, the Americans will not attack. He was very
wrong.
The third mental process leading to misunderstandings is called Cultural Attribution Error.
Cultural Attribution Error means that you make mistakes in interpreting others’ behavior; you
use your own cultural background to interpret their behavior. We always interpret why other
people behave a certain way. That means, we assign causes to their behavior. Assigning causes
to a behavior is called Attribution. Assigning a wrong cause is called Attribution Error. Assigning
a wrong cultural cause, is called cultural attribution error. Thus, you use your own cultural
background to interpret a behavior from a culturally different person.
Imagine the following example: A French businessman comes several minutes late to a business
meeting and does not apologize because in France, being on time does not mean being there
the exact minute. Up until 5-6 min late is still acceptable. First, the German businesswoman
assumes that the Frenchman has the same standards regarding punctuality as she has, namely
you come exactly on time, or you even come early. That is the Assumed Similarity. Then, the
German businesswoman continues to attribute a cause to the Frenchman’s behavior. Why
could he be late? She makes a cultural attribution error if she concludes that the Frenchman is
not really interested in the deal.
Please note, that misunderstandings develop even in the same national culture. For example,
when men and women communicate.
Selective perception and assumed similarity create misinterpretations. If these
misinterpretations form the basis of our judgment, the judgments become MISjudgments.
You wrongly judge the intentions, attitudes or even character traits of another person.
Hussein’s brother wrongly thought the Americans bluff and are weak. Misjudgments become
even more enhanced if we are ethnocentric. Ethnocentrism is the belief that one can judge
other cultures based on the values, attitudes, and beliefs of one’s own culture. You put your
own culture in the center of evaluation. Since we oftentimes also believe that our own cultural
values, attitudes, and beliefs are better than others, we judge other cultures negatively.
That leads me to my final point of this lesson: Are there ways to prevent cultural
misunderstandings?
Yes, and the trick to prevent cultural misunderstandings is MINDFULNESS.

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We usually in our daily interactions operate in a state of cultural cruise control. Our perception
and interpretation happen automatically. We know how to behave appropriately and assume
others do the same.
However, in cross-cultural situations, we need to be in a state of mindfulness.

Which means to do four things:

Cultural mindfulness means “actively paying attention”.
Cultural mindfulness means being aware of when things go wrong. Try to become aware of
ripples in the flow of conversation when your conversation partner’s answer does not match
the flow of conversation. Try to become aware of awkward moments. These moments might
signal cross-cultural misunderstandings.
Cultural mindfulness finally means to monitor your own behavior: do not show discomfort. This
means that you do not show your anger or frustration if you are not sure whether those
feelings are justified. Once, you think you’ve detected a potential misunderstanding you pause
the conversation and ask for clarification.
I will illustrate how to operate mindfully with an example of a conversation. A Spanish
executive who worked in China for a Chinese textile company talks to his Chinese colleague
about the need to work on Sunday.
While I read out the conversation as it happened, try to detect ripples in the flow of
conversation, moments that seem slightly awkward, when the answer or question did not
match which what was said before.
Mr. Diaz: It looks like some of us are going to have to be here on Sunday to host
the client visit.
Mr. Chen: I see.
Mr. Diaz: Can you join us on Sunday?

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Mr. Chen: Yes, I think so.
Mr. Diaz: That would be a great help.
Mr. Chen: Yes. Sunday is an important day.
Mr. Diaz: In what way?
Mr. Chen: It’s my daughter’s birthday.
Mr. Diaz: How nice. I hope you enjoy it.
Mr. Chen: Thank you for your understanding.
To Mr. Diaz big surprise, Mr. Chen did not show up on Sunday.
When could have Mr. Diaz have realized that things went wrong?
There were two ripples in the flow of conversation.
The first moment was, when Mr. Diaz said, “that would be a great help” and Mr. Chen answers
“Yes, Sunday is an important day.” – Mr. Chen’s answer is slightly disconnected to what was
said before. The second moment of disconnect was when Mr. Chen answers to “How nice, I
hope you enjoy it.” “Thank you for your understanding.” Why would he say that? Again, there is
a disconnect to what has been said out loud before.
What was the cultural misunderstanding? It was caused by implicit communication; Mr. Chen
communicated his message in a hidden manner. Chinese communicate very implicitly, whereas
Spaniards communicate a bit more explicitly. Mr. Diaz took everything what Mr. Chen said
literally without looking for a hidden meaning. When Mr. Chen answered the question if he
could work on Sunday with “Yes, I think so.” – Mr. Diaz believed that he would show up on
Sunday to host the client visit. Mr. Chen on the other side tried to hint that he would rather
spend the Sunday home with his family by steering the conversation to this information;
“Sunday is an important day. It’s my daughter’s birthday.” He believed that Mr. Diaz meant he
could stay home for his daughter’s birthday when Mr. Diaz said: “How nice. I hope you enjoy
it.”
If Mr. Diaz would have been aware of ripples in the communication flow, he could go back and
ask for clarification. He could have said: “Oh, I am not sure if I understood you right. Did you
mean, you come on Sunday?” This could be a bit awkward and requires some practice, but the
more often you do this the more comfortable you’ll feel communicating like this. Oftentimes,
you might not realize that something was not quite right in the moment itself, but at a later
point in time, after the meeting has ended. Then you could go back and ask for clarification.

Now, let me now summarize this lesson. What are the key learnings?
The lesson illustrated the four mental processes that lead to cultural misunderstandings. These
processes are:
One, Selective Perception: We systematically screen out the information overload. We use
screening patterns.
The second process is Assumed Similarity: We assume, that other people are like us or that
another person’s situation is like our own situation.
The third process is Cultural Attribution Error: you use your own cultural background to
interpret others’ behavior.
To prevent cultural misunderstandings, we must leave the mode of cultural cruise-control
where we perceive and interpret others automatically. We need to become mindful and pay

26
attention to ripples in the conversation flow and awkward moments. We then can pause the
interaction or conversation and can ask for clarification.

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Lesson 7: Cultural Compromise and Reconciliation
Hallo und Willkommen zu Lektion 7. Hello and welcome to lesson 7. This lesson is about
creating a compromise in situations in which you must deal with conflicting cultural norms.
How do you move forward if you are in a situation in which one person follows one cultural
norm, another person follows another cultural norm and these norms conflict with each other?
Imagine a situation, for example, in which one person seeks confrontation and another person
avoids confrontations.

In some situations, that involve conflicting cultural norms, you might want to choose one side
over the other. If you are abroad, you mostly adapt to the other culture. We label this path
“When in Rome do as the Romans do”. If you migrate to another culture, you must adapt.
Usually, you first adapt in the so-called utilitarian domains of culture, such as school and work,
health care, and political systems. These are domains you need to be able to function well in
the new country. You can keep your cultural habits in personal life domains such as food
preferences and religion.
In my work as a teacher at an American university, I must adapt to the American teaching
approach. It would be unfair to keep a German teaching approach and make American students
adapt to me since German university practices are quite different from American practices. For
example, in German universities, there are no tests and quizzes during the semester. Students
get no grades before the final exam. The German approach has the advantage that students are
rather “free” during the semester. They have no homework. They just need to attend lectures.
Students can party every night of the week, they have time to work and earn a salary. But they
are more stressed about the final exam because that carries all the weight of the grade. To be
fair to my American students, I must adapt to the American approach and offer homework,
quizzes, papers, and a grade for class participation in addition to the final exam grade.

In other situations, that involve conflicting cultural norms, you might ask people to adapt to
your cultural norm. One could call this path “when in Rome ask the Romans to do like you”. This
is much rarer, but not impossible. When Carlos Goshn (the former CEO of the Renault-Nissan
alliance) came to Japan in the 1990s to turn Nissan around from bankruptcy, he adapted to the
Japanese culture in terms of how to communicate, but he asked Nissan to give up several
Japanese business customs. For his Nissan-revival plan he asked Nissan to give up seniority-
based promotion, lifetime-employment guarantee, and the so-called keiretsu system which is
network of suppliers with cross-holdings in Nissan. Japanese employees traditionally join
companies for a lifetime and view their company like family. Goshn needed to change life-time
tenure at Nissan, he needed to close plants, so that he could cut costs and downsize the
workforce to get Nissan profitable again. This worked well and Nissan became profitable again
after just one year of his 3-year revival plan. Even though he received death threats and needed
body-guards at first, he later was admired in Japan. However, as you probably know this
changed again. In November of 2018, he was arrested in Japan for underreporting his
compensation and gross misuse of company assets, fled Japan, and is now in hiding.

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A third way of how to handle conflicting cultural norms is cultural compromise.
WHAT IS A CULTURAL COMPROMISE? A cultural compromise is a solution to a cultural problem
that accepts both cultural norms as equally relevant. How can we create a compromise?
Sometimes, a compromise is easy to create. For example, if you are German and greet by
shaking hands and meet a Dutch person who greets by kissing the cheeks, you can combine
both ways of greeting and shake hands AND kiss the cheek at the same time. Which can be a bit
awkward – especially when done at the same time, but it’s possible. It many cross-cultural
situations, compromises are not so easily created, for example, in situations when the cultural
custom is strongly connected to a cultural value. If you prefer explicit communication, you will
find implicit communication unnecessarily complicated and confusing. If you prefer implicit
communication, you might find explicit communication unnecessarily cumbersome to achieve.
Making a memo clear and simple might take you much longer than leaving it somewhat vague.
Or, imagine the following cross-cultural problem: A serious, costly error had been made by a
Thai worker of an assembly team. The American supervisor wants to prevent the error from
happening again. She believes that to do so, the individual making the error needs to be
identified and punished. This is in line with the American value of individual accountability.
However, the Thai team leader does not give her the name of the individual who made the
error. He tells the American supervisor, that the whole team accepts responsibility. The Thai
team wants nobody to be singled out and lose face. Saving face is an important value in Thai
society. How could the American supervisor create a compromise?
For situations like this, situations that are a bit more complex, you can use a reconciliation
technique. This technique helps finding a solution for those situations.

How does this work? You identify the relevant cultural differences and find a solution in the
middle ground combining both cultural norms. The Reconciliation Technique consists of 2
Steps. In step one, you detect the relevant differences. That is the most important step,
because you need to analyze the cultural problem and get to the essence of the cultural issue.
Usually, a cultural problem involves several conflicting norms. And to solve it, you need to
identify the most relevant norms and values.

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If we go back to the example of the costly error made by a Thai worker in an assembly team, we
can identify the following American and Thai values.
The American supervisor cares about individual accountability. It is supposed to help employees
to feel part of the larger organization. The American supervisor also believes in deterrence,
which means she believes in punishment to deter others from making similar errors.
In Thailand’s culture, saving face is important. The Thai team wants nobody to be singled out
and lose face. Saving face means behaving in such a way that you avoid humiliation or
embarrassment and that you maintain dignity or preserve reputation. You can lose your “face”
when you do something that makes the other think poorly of you. Being singled out for a
mistake and then punished causes a serious loss of face. The worker feels so much shame after
making a costly error that no other punishment is needed. The American culture is
individualistic; individual accountability is important, and making mistakes is acceptable. An
individual would not lose face after making an error and therefore would be willing to accept
responsibility. Making the whole team taking responsibility would seem unfair.
After having identified the relevant norms, you can ask a ‘Reconciling Question’. That’s the
second step. The reconciling question is about how to combine both cultural norms. How can
we follow my cultural norm and at the same time your cultural norm? Both norms and/or
values are equally valid.
The American supervisor of the assembly line could ask: “How can we deter others from making
similar mistakes and at the same time make sure that we do not cause anyone to lose face?”
This question opens space for finding a compromise. Usually, it opens space for several
compromise solutions, not just one. Which solutions could be possible for the American
supervisor and her Thai team? The American supervisor could let the team take responsibility.
And then discuss with the team what they could do to prevent the error from happening again.

30
She could also punish the whole team for deterrence effects. She also could also offer
additional training for all team members to improve their assembly skills so that mistakes
become less likely.

Let us look at an example.

The example is about a cultural problem that happened in Egypt when an Egyptian
businessman had spent all day talking with his Canadian guests about a new business venture
together. At the end of the day, the Egyptian executive offered his Canadian guests a
partnership. The Canadians gladly agreed and then suggested that they meet again next
morning with their respective lawyers to finalize the details. However, the Canadians were very
surprised when the Egyptian businessman never showed up and they asked themselves, what
happened?
Step 1 of the finding a compromise is to detect the underlying culturally different norms. In
Egypt, a verbal offer to engage in business means much more than in Canada. Giving your word
means a binding commitment. The Egyptian thought that the Canadians did not trust his word
and felt offended when they suggested to bring in lawyers. He thought after spending the day
together they were already committed to each other, like partners.
The reconciling question in this case would be “How can we finalize our negotiation with
lawyers and at the same time show that we trust the verbal commitment?” It is important that
one focuses on the essential cultural difference at play and that one finds non-judgmental
wording for the cultural differences.
The ‘Reconciling Question’ combines both sides without offering a solution. It creates the space
for solutions and allows a conversation about solutions. One potential solution for this case
could be to invite the Egyptians to a lavish dinner. There, one could celebrate the agreement
demonstrating that one trusts the verbal commitment. Then one could use the dinner to
explain with careful words that the Canadian norms are different and require legal documents
but that bringing in lawyers does not mean distrust in the verbal commitment.

What are the key learnings of this lesson?

You have three options in situations that involve conflicting cultural norms. You can adapt, ask
others to adapt to you, or create a cultural compromise. To create a cultural compromise, you
can use a reconciliation technique. This technique consists of two steps. In step 1, you detect
the relevant cultural norms and in step 2, you ask a reconciling question: How can we follow
one cultural norm, and at the same time also follow this other cultural norm? This question
opens space for discussion and creative solutions that regard both cultural norms as equally
valid.

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