A Path to Spiritual freedom

Ralph Waldo Emerson once insightfully remarked, "To be yourself in a world that is constantly
trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." This declaration of
individuality amidst societal pressures serves as a poignant backdrop to my own introspective
voyage. During a recent journey within, I chanced upon a beacon of wisdom — "The Four
Agreements." While this literary gem has touched many, my connection was more profound
than a mere reading exercise. The ideas resonated deeply, echoing Emerson's sentiments on
self-authenticity, prompting me to expand upon them in my own reflections. What follows is not
a mere summary or review, but an intimate exploration into these agreements leading to a path
towards spiritual freedom.

I simply hope to share some insights that have been valuable to me, in the hopes that they may
also bring value to others. Dive in, not as into a book's pages, but into the very essence of
human belief and let the core message, not just the words, resonate with you.

Preface

Have you ever considered that our lives might just be dreams shaped by societal norms and
expectations?

From our earliest memories, the very foundation of our learning is steeped in the system of
rewards and punishments. As children, we look up to the adults around us as we
wholeheartedly imbibe the beliefs they feed us, letting these beliefs shape our worldviews. We
didn’t even choose our names.

Our intrinsic desire to be acknowledged and validated becomes the compass guiding our every
move. We mold ourselves, often at the cost of our true identities, just to fit into societal
expectations. This transformation is driven by the dread of rejection and the insatiable longing
for affirmation. As we grow, this fear transforms into an internal whisper constantly asking: "Am I
good enough?" This question, initially posed by external voices — our parents, teachers, peers
— slowly becomes a crippling self-interrogation. The benchmarks set by them become our own,
and soon, the standards we set for ourselves seem almost unattainable.

We sculpt an image of perfection, one that is socially acceptable and garners appreciation
through rewards and punishments. But in doing so, we become ensnared in a cycle of self-
deprecation. Every time we fall short of this ideal image, it translates to a failure in our eyes.
This dynamic is what the book describes as the 'domestication of humans' referring to the
process by which individuals are conditioned from childhood by society's beliefs, norms, and
expectations, much like how animals are trained. This domestication shapes our self-worth,
behaviors, and reactions, often leading to self-limiting beliefs and inhibiting our true potential.
Even when we've shed all the layers and voices of external expectations, we find ourselves
haunted by our own demands, always falling short, always desiring more, and perpetually failing
to match up to our own ideals of perfection. It's a relentless pursuit, one where the finish line
keeps shifting, and the race, seemingly, never ends.

The voice of the inner 'Judge' relentlessly pointing out flaws, and the inner 'Victim' weighed
down by self-imposed expectations. Such moments made me realize that the harshest critic I
ever faced was none other than myself. It's in these moments of vulnerability that we must
remember that our worth isn't determined by how closely we align with societal molds.

Maybe you've found self-love elusive, not for lack of understanding, but from a genuine struggle
to attain it. Yet, what if there's a way out of this maze of societal constructs and self-criticism? A
path that leads us to genuine self-compassion and allows us to see the world through a lens of
love rather than judgment. Enter the Four Agreements.

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORDS

"Give me the right word and the right accent and I will move the world." — Joseph Conrad

A word, in isolation, is empty. It's the intention behind it, the emotion it carries, and the actions it
catalyzes that give it genuine power.

The word is so powerful that one word can change a life or destroy the lives of millions of
people. The book considers the example of Hitler's manipulation of an entire nation through his
rhetoric. His words were undoubtedly influential, but attributing the entirety of the World War to
just words might be an oversimplification. Nonetheless all this would not have been possible
without the power of language and its ability to sway, inspire, and incite.

To be impeccable with your word means not using words in a way that harms yourself. Take this
simple example for instance, if I label you as 'stupid' on the street, it may seem like I'm directing
negativity towards you. Yet, in reality, I'm causing harm to myself because such an action
invites animosity from you. This points the idea that when we cultivate negativity in others, it
rebounds on us and that cultivating negative feelings in others is ultimately self-destructive.

When faced with a new experience, such as the beginning of a class for example. Envision your
mind as freshly tilled soil, eager and ready for planting. The initial seeds of optimism are sown
by your anticipation, symbolizing a positive experience. But what if you cross paths with the
individual harboring a negative view of the instructor, saying, “Oh that instructor was such a
pompous jerk! He didn’t know what he was talking about, and he was a pervert too, so watch
out”. They present you with an alternative seed – one teeming with doubt, suspicion, and
negativity.

But here lies the crux of our personal power, which is our choice: you are the farmer that
chooses which seeds to plant in the fertile ground of your mind. Words, or seeds in our analogy,
can be chosen based on their merit and origin. When faced with the gossip about the instructor,
you have the power to decide whether this negative seed finds a place in your soil or is cast
aside, recognizing it as potentially harmful or ill-informed.

If you choose to plant and nurture this seed of doubt, your experience in the class might be
colored by growing skepticism. The once-healthy garden of your enthusiasm could be
overshadowed by this invasive thought and so if you believe the individual who harbored a
negative view of the instructor even slightly or unconsciously, naturally you will see the
instructor through those lenses. However, if you decide to discard this negative seed, favoring
your initial excitement and giving the teacher a chance, you're opting to maintain a garden that
thrives on openness and optimism. Sure, the instructor could be just like the person described,
but the point is to be aware of how others' words can affect and skew our perception and
mindset.

Seeds have a way of spreading, and as you discuss your views with peers, the seeds you've
chosen to cultivate – be they positive or negative – might find their way into others' gardens as
well. This ripple effect showcases the potent influence of words and choices. Ultimately you are
the one to create your own garden with the soil that is receptive to the seeds you choose and
deliver onto others and yourself.

We constantly talk to ourselves, sometimes negatively, criticizing our appearance or abilities.

This reflects how we've internalized others' words over the years, turning them against
ourselves. Due to our domestication; we internalize these messages and form "agreements”
with ourselves. You’re telling yourself a story, but is it the truth? If you’re using the word to
create a story with self-judgment and self-rejection, then you’re using the word against yourself,
and you’re not being impeccable. When you’re impeccable, you don’t label yourself as someone
'who always messes up when it matters, who can't be trusted with responsibilities, who isn't
meant for bigger things, or who daydreams too much without achieving.' These narratives are
often shaped by fleeting moments and not by the entirety of our experiences. Before
internalizing them, pause and question their authenticity and if they genuinely resonate with who
you are. As children, we were more susceptible, often accepting these imposed beliefs without
question. However, as adults, we have the power to choose the seeds we internalize and
nurture. Use the word to share your love, beginning with yourself. Tell yourself how wonderful
you are, how great you are. Use the word to break all those agreements that make you suffer.
Prepare the soil in your mind so that it will only cultivate and be receptive to those seeds of
positivity and compassion, only then will the world begin to change as you start attracting those
with the same energy.

Don’t take anything personally

In the words of the Stoics, "We have the power to hold no opinion about a thing and to not let it
upset our state of mind—for things have no natural power to shape our judgments." – Marcus
Aurelius
From the foundation of the first agreement emerges the essence of the next three. The second
pivotal agreement is both straightforward and profound: "Don't take anything personally."

Picture a scenario where someone offends you. Though many of us make sincere efforts to
understand and empathize with others' perspectives, there are moments when the sting of
offense is too sharp to ignore. Even as we consistently endeavor to see situations through
another's lens, it's inevitable to have instances where our emotional responses overshadow our
empathy. Your initial impulse might be to defend your convictions. In these moments, we often
magnify trivial matters, propelled by a fervent need to be right.

But a deeper understanding reveals that most reactions, yours included, are borne from
personal experiences and internal agreements. The beliefs you maintain, the words you utter,
and the decisions you make are anchored in these inner accords. And here's a pivotal insight:
these projections often reflect more about the person projecting than about their target.

Whatever others perceive or feel is their reality, not yours. Their viewpoints are colored by their
unique life experiences. If they say, “What you're telling me hurts,” it's not your words causing
the pain but their internal wounds resonating with what you've expressed. They're grappling with
their emotions, not with you. Everyone creates their narrative, starring as the main protagonist.
In this narrative, their perceptions, even of themselves, are shaped by their personal lens, which
might not always reflect objective truth. Even yourself. So, the next time doubt creeps into your
mind, remember to evaluate its source before internalizing it.

Add determinism

Choosing not to take things personally bestows you with a profound emotional freedom. It's a
commitment to traversing life with an open heart, resilient to hurtful words or actions. You
become empowered to express love, communicate your needs, and make decisions without the
weight of guilt or self-judgment.

Don't make any Assumptions

"Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make — bombs,
for instance, or strawberry shortcake — if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find
yourself in terrible trouble." These wise words by Winston Churchill resonate with a significant
period in history. During the Cold War, assumptions played a perilous game of chess between
superpowers. Figures like J. Robert Oppenheimer were driven by the belief that if the U.S. didn't
push forward with the development of the atomic bomb, the Soviet Union would inevitably fill
that void. The weight of such assumptions shaped global politics for decades with the hydrogen
bomb that ensued.

Much of our emotional turmoil we have lived in our life was rooted in making assumptions and
taking things personally. Every system of thought, whether it's science, religion, or day-to-day
beliefs, starts with certain assumptions or axioms. These are foundational beliefs that we take to
be true without direct evidence.

Assumptions often lead us to create narratives in our minds. In relationships, for example, we
might occasionally believe that our loved ones understand our needs and desires without verbal
communication. It's comforting to think, 'They know me so well, they'll understand.' But if they
act contrary to our expectations, we may feel disappointed or wonder, 'Why didn’t they realize?'
At the core, we assume that they see life through our lens. A whole drama is created because
we make this assumption and then put more assumptions on top of it. We sometimes assume
that everyone sees life the way we do. Because we judge and make assumptions, we also
inherently believe others do the same. It's this mirror effect, reflecting our own tendencies onto
others, that engenders fear. We think everyone else will judge us, victimize us, abuse us, and
blame us as we do ourselves, so even before others have a chance to reject us, we have
already rejected ourselves. We also make assumptions about ourselves, and this creates a lot
of inner conflict. “I think I am able to do this.” You make this assumption, for instance, then you
discover you can’t do it. We create a lot of emotional poison just by making assumptions and
taking it personally, this becomes apparent when we start gossiping about our assumptions.
Without making assumptions your word will start to become impeccable and the unwanted
emotions will start to fade.

Consider the following story, which exemplifies the pointlessness of unchecked assumptions:

The subway in New York was enveloped in a comforting hush one Sunday morning. Soft beams
of sunlight broke through the windows, casting golden hues on the passengers. Some were
deeply engrossed in their newspapers, their eyes skimming through lines of ink, while others
drifted in and out of sleep, their rhythmic breathing adding to the quiet ambiance.

However, this quietude was soon shattered. A man and his children burst into the car. The
children, with energy that seemed out of place in such a tranquil setting, shouted, laughed, and
played, their actions echoing loudly. Their father, seemingly lost in a world of his own, sat
beside me, his gaze distant and heavy with a sorrow I couldn't quite place.

It was easy to jump to conclusions. At that moment, irritation bubbled among the passengers.
Why wouldn't he control his children? Taking a deep breath, I finally voiced what many were
undoubtedly feeling. "Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. Could you maybe
control them a bit?"

His response was a punch to the gut. "We just came from the hospital," he shared softly, his
voice breaking, "Their mother passed away an hour ago." The weight of that truth hung in the
air. Suddenly, the loudness of the children seemed to be not just of play, but of pain, of
confusion, of loss.

Often, we perceive a scene, craft a narrative, and react, all without truly understanding the
layers beneath. Yes, you could argue that it is more likely than not that this is just another
irresponsible parent. But the point is to question if there is any value in making assumptions and
feeling the negativity without all the facts. Making assumptions on things out of our control not
only distances us from truth but also from genuine human connection. By choosing to see
beyond our immediate perceptions, we open ourselves up to a world of empathy and
understanding.

Always Do Your Best

While it might appear to be an overused adage, the final agreement emphasizes the importance
of always doing one's best. At its core, this agreement isn't about striving for perfection, but
rather about committing to genuine effort in all that we undertake. Recognizing our own
limitations, it's essential to understand that "our best" can vary from day to day. Some days we
might be bursting with energy and motivation, while on others we may feel drained or dispirited.
However, what remains consistent is the integrity of our attempt. Doing our best doesn't mean
pushing ourselves to the brink, but rather understanding our capacities and working within them
with diligence and dedication. Accepting that we won't always operate at 100% is not a sign of
weakness, but a testament to our human experience – and that is both valid and commendable.

The Roots of Internal Agreements and the Journey to Discard Them

Words are powerful, shaping our beliefs from a young age as we often accept others' opinions
without question. These ingrained agreements, whether beneficial or not, stem from our
upbringing and domestication. As we grow, we gain the ability to choose our beliefs and
challenge those deep-seated agreements. As children, we're influenced heavily by the beliefs of
those around us. While symbols are an incredible invention, we're introduced to them laden with
pre-existing opinions. By the time we fully grasp a language, these symbols carry the weight of
our beliefs. This process is neither good nor bad, right nor wrong; it's simply how we assimilate
into our society.

Consider this story: In our tender years, when belief comes naturally and every story feels
genuine, parents lovingly pass down this enchanting narrative. Songs reinforce the tale, singing
praises of a Santa who "sees you when you're sleeping, knows when you're awake. Who knows
if you’ve been bad or good"

However, the magic of Christmas doesn't touch every doorstep equally. Envision a year spent
longing for a gleaming bicycle, a symbol of earned goodness. Yet, Christmas morning arrives,
and despite the warmth and love in your home, the constraints of financial hardship felt by your
parents prevent the dream bicycle from being under the tree. Your heart sinks as you find no
trace of the gift. A glance outside, and there’s the neighborhood’s notorious troublemaker,
gleaming with his brand-new bicycle. "Why him and not me? Was I not good enough? Maybe I
should be more like him... or perhaps, I was a bad child after all." A whisper of injustice tugs at
your heart, with each of his triumphant rides amplifying your dismay.
Our childhood, a time when tales become truths, led us to believe without doubt. And in this
pure belief, the sense of betrayal feels profound. You might have found yourself thinking,
“Maybe I should be more like him.” Eventually, the mist around the legend of Santa clears,
revealing a heartfelt fiction. Yet, the scars remain in the form of an agreement.

This is just one example of how societal narratives, even well-intentioned ones, can create
powerful internal agreements that guide our actions.

In these agreements you tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe, and how to
behave. You say, “This is what I am. This is what I believe. I can do certain things, and some
things I cannot do. This is possible, that is impossible.

One single agreement is not such a problem, but we have many agreements that make us
suffer, that make us fail in life. Every agreement is like a parasite; it has its own personality and
its own voice. There are conflicting agreements that go against other agreements and on and on
until it becomes a big war in the mind. This is the reason humans hardly know what they want or
how they want it. If you want to live a life of joy and fulfillment, you must find the courage to
break those agreements that are fear-based and claim your personal power.

Take a moment to think about the personal beliefs you've internalized, especially those that
burden you. Breaking away from these long-held convictions is challenging. However,
understand that many of the teachings you've absorbed throughout your life, even as you listen
to me now, are shaped by societal norms. Once you grasp that you've constructed an entire
system of symbols to communicate with others, it becomes clear that these symbols aren't
inherently good, bad, right, or wrong. Your beliefs assign these values.

Navigating through the complex tapestry of societal beliefs, one comes to realize that many of
our convictions, even those as deeply ingrained as the notion that 'murder is bad,' stem from
collective agreements within society. It's society's consensus that designates certain acts as
immoral or unacceptable. But consider a hypothetical scenario: if one were to believe that
everyone ascends to paradise after death, would that then make the act of murder justifiable?
This is not to trivialize the severity of such actions, but rather to highlight the intricate
relationship between societal norms and personal beliefs. Once you see through these societal
narratives, they lose their power over you. Challenge every self-belief with doubt. Ask yourself:
'Am I truly not good enough? Do I genuinely believe I'm unattractive?' These perceptions are not
concrete realities. They're shaped by our shared human experiences and understandings, not
by any universal truth. There are no universal law labeling people as 'good enough' or 'ugly.'
Such judgments are merely human-made agreements.

Realizing the artificial constructs of domestication and societal conditioning is equivalent to

attaining enlightenment. But, as with any profound realization, the next logical step is action.
Acknowledging the illusory nature of our limiting beliefs is the first stride towards dismantling
them. This process isn't about renouncing the past but about sculpting a future free from the
chains of redundant beliefs.
To truly free oneself, one must engage in a diligent process of introspection and self-analysis.
Each agreement that binds us must be meticulously examined and confronted with the truth. If a
belief stands contrary to our well-being or inhibits our growth, it must be discarded, irrespective
of its origin or longevity.

If you believe yourself to be an artist, then everything becomes possible again. Words are your
paintbrush, and your life is the canvas. You can paint whatever you want to paint; you can even
copy another artist’s work — but what you express with your paintbrush is the way you see
yourself and the entire reality. What you paint is your life, and how it looks will depend on how
you are using the word. You are the one who gives meaning to every stroke on the canvas of
your life. You are the one who invests all your faith in your art. If you don’t like what you believe
about yourself, you are the only one who can change it.

There's an innate power within everyone. This power is not of domination or coercion but of
creation, transformation, and love. By adhering to the Four Agreements, we harness this power,
channeling it towards constructing a life of purpose, happiness, and fulfillment. Adhering to
these principles can lead to a profound understanding of interconnectedness and the role of
conditioning in human behavior, culminating in the act of forgiveness. By viewing our mental
framework as a consequence of domestication, we realize that a remedy exists. And how do we
apply it? By forgiving those we perceive as having wronged us but more importantly, ourselves.
Not because they necessarily merit forgiveness, but because our self-love dictates the futility of
bearing grudges. Forgiveness emerges as a pinnacle on the journey to spiritual liberation,
rooted in compassion for oneself and others.

Adults impart to us only the knowledge they possess. Their teachings are a reflection of their life
experiences and beliefs. Rest assured, your parents endeavored their best for you. If they fell
short, it was due to their limited understanding. They, like us, grappled with self-judgment,
compounded by societal scrutiny. Embracing this viewpoint fosters deeper empathy and
understanding, acknowledging the myriad factors influencing human actions.

However, at its core, the decision to view the world with love and compassion remains yours.
The choice to embrace the Four Agreements, to redefine your beliefs, and to perceive the world
with a heart full of love and understanding is entirely in your hands. (throw in jesus image)

Use the power to forgive yourself for not being that ideal image you have of yourself, forgive
your inaction to your fears, for why you’re feeling sad, angry, and hopeless. Forgive for all the
deep unconscious agreements you have set for yourself, forgive for things that have hurt you
deeply, forgive for small things that happen in the moment. That moment when you choose to
forgive all, including yourself, you will feel as if the biggest burden was lifted off your chest.
That’s the beginning of a free human. Forgiveness is the key to happiness.

Furthermore, it's imperative to note that happiness is a deliberate selection, an intimate choice
we make for ourselves. It's fundamentally rooted in our commitment to perceive the world and
the self with genuine love and boundless compassion. Drawing from my own journey, I've
consciously chosen to wholeheartedly embrace all aspects of life and offer forgiveness to my
internal judge. This is not merely a fleeting sentiment, but a deeply ingrained philosophy that
has reshaped my perspective. It's my hope that we all find the courage to make similar choices,
sculpting a life marked by compassion and joy. Our beliefs are both our prison and our keys to
freedom. As the renowned author Aldous Huxley once said, 'There is only one corner of the
universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.' So, dear listener, strive for
that improvement, for self-awareness, and for the courage to rewrite your narrative. For in the
journey of self-discovery, you will find not only your truth but also your freedom. If this message
resonates with you, I ask you to share it with others, to spread the light of understanding, and
together, let's create a world of conscious creators. Until next time, seek the truth, challenge the
known, and embrace the unknown.