INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

INTERPERSONAL ATTRACTION:
➤Interpersonal attraction is the attraction between people which leads to friendships and
romantic relationships. The study of interpersonal attraction is a major area of research in
social psychology.
➤ Interpersonal attraction has been an important topic of research in psychology, because
humans are social animals, and attraction serves an important function in forming a social
network
➤ In assessing the nature of attraction, psychologists have used methods such as
questionnaires, survey, and rating scale to determine level of one's attraction toward another.
➤ When measuring interpersonal attraction, one must refer to the qualities of the attracted as
well as the qualities of the attractor to achieve predictive accuracy.

PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS (PA):

➤ Even though physical attractiveness is unrelated to objective measure of internal
qualities such as intelligence and personality, many researches indicate that bias for beauty is
pervasive in society
➤ PA Stereotype: Physically attractive people are perceived to be more sociable, successful,
happy, dominant, sexually warm, mentally healthy, intelligent, and socially skilled than
those who are unattractive.
➤ In reality, PA has no correlation with intelligence, dominance, self- esteem & mental
health

PROPINQUITY OR PROXIMITY
➤ The more we see and interact with a person, the more likely he or she is to become our
friend or intimate partner. There are exceptions to this.
► Other things being equal, the closer two individuals are located geographically, the more
likely it is that they will be attracted to each other.
► It appears that there is a somewhat greater tendency for proximity to breed attraction than
hostility
➤ Proximity is probably correlated with attraction (or repulsion) because proximity allows
one to obtain an increased amount of information about the other person & to experience
rewards or punishments from the other.
➤ There is some suggestive evidence that proximity in and of itself, may facilitate attraction
as a by-product of the individual's desire for cognitive consistency
SIMILARITY:
➤ Perceived similarity develops for someone to rate others as similar to themselves in
ongoing relationship. Such perception is either self serving/friendship or relationship serving/
romantic
➤ Also, perceived similarity was found to be greater than actual similarity in predicting
interpersonal attraction
➤ Similarity in physical appearance, attitudes, interpersonal style, social & cultural
background, personality, interests & activities preferences, communication or social skills
leads to attraction
➤ Similarity has effects on starting a relationship by initial attraction to know each other.
➤ High attitude similarity results in a significant increase in initial attraction to the target
person
➤ High attitude dissimilarity results in a decrease of initial attraction.
➤ Similarity also promotes relationship commitment.

COMPLEMENTARY:
➤ The model of complementarity explains whether "birds of a feather flock together" or
"opposites attract".
➤ Studies show that complementary interaction between two partners increases their
attractiveness to each other.
➤ Complementary partners preferred closer interpersonal relationship than non-
complementary ones. Couples who reported the highest level of loving and harmonious
relationship were more dissimilar in dominance than couples who scored lower in
relationship quality.

SIMILARITY OR COMPLEMENTARY?
➤ Similarity seems to carry considerable weight in initial attraction, while complementarity
assumes importance as the relationship develops over time.
➤ Perception and actual behaviour might not be congruent with each other. There were cases
that dominant people perceived their partners to be similarly dominant, yet in the eyes of
independent observers, the actual behaviour of their partner was submissive, in other words,
complementary to them.
➤ Why do people perceive their romantic partners to be similar to them despite evidence to
the contrary? The reason remains unclear, pending further research.

INTERNAL SOURCRS OF ATTRACTION: THE ROLE OF NEEDS AND

EMOTION
The importance of need for affiliation in human life:
Individuals Difference in Need To Affiliate:
➤ The need to affiliate with others is a neurobiological basis for our psychological well-
being, as it has been a basic characteristic of our species since our ancestors cooperated to
survive danger.
➤ Individual differences in the strength of this need for affiliation exist, with people
generally seeking optimal social contact. When these affiliation needs are not met, people
may feel uneasy, lose control, and feel sad and angry.
➤ Social exclusion can lead to increased sensitivity to interpersonal information and less
effective cognitive functioning. Overall, the need for affiliation is a fundamental aspect of
human life.

People Who Don’t Need Others:

➤ Social psychologists have found that all humans have strong needs for affiliation and
emotional connection with others.
➤ However, some individuals exhibit a dismissing avoidant attachment style, claiming to
have little or no need for emotional attachments and avoiding close relationships. This is
difficult to answer as they claim to have no need for affiliation.
➤However, research shows that even those who claim to have little or no need for affiliation
do, at least to some extent. Even those who claim to have little or no need for affiliation show
increased self-esteem and improved moods when accepted by others they claim not to need.
➤Attachment styles play a crucial role in our relationships and the cognitive and neural
processes that underlie them.

Situtational Influences On The Need To Affiliate:

➤ External events can temporarily increase or decrease the need to affiliate with others, such
as reminding oneself of mortality or after disturbing events like natural disasters. This desire
is primarily to obtain help, comfort, and reduce negative feelings.
➤ Schachter's research showed that people prefer to be with others facing the same
unpleasant prospect, rather than alone. Real-life threats and anxiety-inducing laboratory
manipulations arouse the need to affiliate, as it provides the opportunity for social
comparison and decision-making. Contact with others, including conversations and hugs,
can be a source of comfort.

EXTERNAL SOURCES OF ATTRACTION: THE EFFECTS OF

PROXIMITY AND PHYSICAL BEAUTY PROXIMITY
The Power of Proximity: Unplanned Contacts
Definition: physical closeness between two individuals.
➤ Proximity is a basic requirement for any feelings of attraction to develop.
➤ Less physical distance, more chance for repeated contact and exposure to each other →
positive affect and development of mutual attraction. cannot judge whether you like or
➤ No contact → no acquaintance => cannot judge whether you like or dislike.
➤ Social networks help people interact and form initial feelings of liking or disliking without
direct face-to-face contact.
However, for close relationships to develop, we need something beyond the "virtual
world."

Repeated Exposure Effect:

Definition: Frequent contact with any mildly negative, neutral, or positive stimulus resulting
in an increasingly positive evaluation of that stimulus.
• More exposure to new stimulus → more favorable our evaluation.
• Subtle but powerful effect.
• Moreover, it is present very early in life.
• Infants tend to smile more at a photograph of someone known than someone unknown.

Moreland and Beach Study: This study, conducted in a classroom setting, provides a very
clear demonstration of this effect.
■ In a college course, one female assistant attended class 15 times during the semester, a
second assistant attended class 10 times, a third attended five times, and a fourth did not
attend the class at all. At the end of the semester, the students were shown slides of the four
assistants and were asked to indicate how much they liked each one.
■Results showed that the more times a particular assistant attended class, the more she was
liked.
■This shows repeated exposure to have a positive effect on attraction.

Why the effect occurs:

■ Experiencing mild discomfort is normal when we encounter anyone we don't know.
With repeated exposure, however, negative emotions decrease and positive emotions
increase.
- Relationship between familiarity and positive effect
■Not only does familiarity elicit positive affect, but positive affect elicits the perception of
familiarity. (it goes both ways)
For example, even when it is seen for the first time, a beautiful face is perceived as being
more familiar than an unattractive one.
• Repeated exposure effects fail to operate when a person's initial reaction to the stimulus is
negative.

Observable Characteristics of Others: The Effects of Physical

Attractiveness
Physical Beauty:
Physical (external) appearance is a powerful factor in our liking for others.
The "What is beautiful is good" effect:
Definition: The belief that physically attractive individuals possess desirable personality
characteristics.
• Why? We possess a very positive stereotype for highly attractive people: a physical
attractiveness stereotype.
• How? Lemay et al. proposes that three steps to interpret this:
➤ First, we desire to form relationships with attractive people.
➤ Second, this desire leads us to perceive them as interpersonally responsive (as someone
more kind, outgoing and warm).
➤ Third, we project our own desire to form relationships with these people to them. This
projection then generates very positive perceptions of them.
Most prominent results could be found by the Halo effect, too.
Is the effect accurate?
• Nope.
• Just because they were good-looking, they were not necessarily pro-social or 'nice'.
• Attractiveness does not correspond to social skills and high self-esteem, but contributes to
their development.

What is Attractiveness?
■Two Approaches -to find factors that determine.
■The first approach is to identify a group of individuals who are rated as attractive and then
to determine what they have in common.
Cunningham's study: Cunningham (1986) asked male undergraduates to rate photographs
of young women. Two categories:
One is cute -childlike features, large widely spaced eyes, with a small nose and chin. (think
of all your K Dramas)
Next is mature -prominent cheekbones, high eyebrows, large pupils, and a big smile. (most
models from the west)
• Although there is less evidence on this point, the same general categories seem to exist for
men.
A second approach -Langlois and Roggman.
➤ They began with several facial photographs, and then used computer digitizing to combine
multiple faces into one face.
➤ The image -divided into microscopic squares and notes down as a number that represents a
specific shade. They found average shades with these numbers -result is translated back into a
composite image.
➤ Results showed that composite faces are rated as more attractive than most of the
individual faces used to make the
Situational Factors: composite. (the combo face is better than the single face)
• In addition, the more faces that are averaged, the more beautiful the resulting face.
• A composite face is closer to that schema than any specific face -with respect to all the
experiences that form this schema.
Situations influence how we perceive what is attractive.

Attractiveness of Red - Elliot and Niesta's study:

Other Factors that Influence Attraction
➤ In many ancient cultures, as well as many modern ones, the color red has been associated
with increased attractiveness, at least for women.
➤ Both male and female participants saw photos of strangers who were shown either against
a red or one of a different color (white, gray, green).
➤ It was either the background colour or the shirt colour. People rated. Results were clear in
every study performed: the color red did boost ratings of the female strangers. • Moreover,
this effect occurred for male participants, but not for females. (meaning, boys liked girls in
red more than girls liking boys in red).

1.PHYSIQUE OR BODY BUILD:

➤ People tend to associate a round body build with an easygoing disposition, relaxed
personality, and a lack of personal discipline. (Couch potato)
➤ A hard and muscular body is perceived as indicating good health, and also high energy
and vigor. (Dwayne Johnson)
➤ Thin and angular body is perceived as a sign of intelligence and perhaps an introspective
personality. (Benedict Cumberbatch)
➤ There is also a strong "anti-fat" attitude in many cultures and this can work against
overweight people in many areas of life.
2. OBSERVABLE DIFFERENCES IN ACTUAL BEHAVIOR:
➤ Observable differences in actual behaviour elicit stereotypes. stereotypes → influence
attraction.
➤ A person with a firm handshake is perceived as being extroverted and emotionally
expressive → positive characteristics.
➤ Positive response to animated behaviour and modesty > arrogance.
3) A PERSON’S FIRST NAME:
➤People with 'old-fashioned' names are supposedly at a disadvantage.

SIMILARITY–DISSIMILARITY: A CONSISTENT PREDICTOR OF ATTRACTION

 The similarity-dissimilarity effect, which includes attitudes, beliefs, values, and
interests, has been studied extensively. People consistently prefer similar strangers
over dissimilar ones, indicating that they are more intelligent, better informed, moral,
and better adjusted.

 The proportion of similarity determines attraction, with a higher proportion indicating

greater liking. This effect is consistent across different populations, procedures, and
topics.

 The effect of attitude similarity on attraction is strong, regardless of the number of

topics expressed and the importance of the topics. It holds true for both males and
females, regardless of age, educational, or cultural differences.

 Rosenbaum (1986) proposed the repulsion hypothesis, which argued that information
about dissimilarity has no effect on attraction. However, later research showed that
this idea is wrong, but the repulsion hypothesis had some truth.

 In addition to attitudes and values, similarity-dissimilarity has been investigated in

various aspects of life, such as smoking marijuana, religious practices, self-concept,
being a "morning person" versus an "evening person," and finding the same jokes
amusing. Physical attractiveness is one of the most interesting areas of research on the
effects of similarity.

MATCHING HYPOTHESIS:
  The matching hypothesis suggests that people generally focus on obtaining romantic
partners whose physical attractiveness is similar to their own.

 This view was first proposed by Berscheid, Dion, and Walster in 1971, who found
that couples with similar attractiveness were more likely to continue dating. However,
little additional evidence has been obtained for this idea.

 Recent research by van Straaten, Engles, Fainkenauer, and Holland (2009) supports
the matching hypothesis, stating that participants would invest more effort in
impressing their partner when they were similar to the person in attractiveness than
when they were different.

 Results confirmed these predictions for men, but not for women, who are generally
less willing to express overt interest in potential romantic partners. These findings
suggest that although we daydream about incredibly attractive romantic partners, we
focus most of our effort and energy on obtaining ones who closely match our own
level of attractiveness. This may not lead to the fulfillment of our dreams or
fantasies, but provides the basis for mutually desired relationships and a better chance
of survival and prosperity.

What Is Balance Theory?

 Heider explained that a balance must exist between interpersonal relationships or for
something specific between two or more individuals so that psychological harmony
can be achieved.

 If two or more people share similar ideas about something, there is not likely to be
any tension or complication surrounding this idea in the relationship.

 The key notion of balance theory is that certain structures are balanced, whereas
others are imbalanced. Balanced structures are usually preferred over imbalanced
ones.

 Imbalanced structures are associated with uncomfortable feelings, and this is what
leads people to seek to achieve balance.

 Heider suggested that ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ are related to balance and imbalance.
Humans search for consistency between their attitudes and relations with others
to make the balance neutral.

 However, if there is an inconsistency between relations and a perceived imbalance,

humans tend to seek modifications to reach consistency and thus cognitive harmony
of the situation again.

 In this way, balance theory describes how humans are motivated to change their
attitudes.
How Does Balance Theory Work?

 Heider explained how balance theory works by developing a model which examines
interpersonal relationships.
 The reactions of each individual are framed within a triangle that Heider called the P-
O-X model.

Each corner of the triangle represents a different element:

P = the person to analyze

O = Other, or the comparison person
X = the third element for comparisons such as a third person, a physical object, an idea, or an
event.
 Relation patterns between 3 individuals or objects are often referred to as ‘triadic’
relations.
 The relations between the individuals or objects on the P-O-X model can be either
positive (+) or negative (-) and this is what can determine if a relationship is balanced.
 A triadic relationship is thought to be balanced when it includes either no or an even
number of negative relations.

For instance, three positive relations are balanced, as well as two negative relations
with one positive relationship. This would be a situation that is psychologically
comfortable.
 In contrast, a triad is imbalanced when it includes an odd number of negative
relations, such as having one negative relation and two positives. This is a situation
that would be psychologically uncomfortable, according to balance theory.

An Example of Balance Theory

 Heider (1958) used the following example to explain how balance theory can be
applied to relationships:
 Balance theory does not only examine interpersonal relationships between three
individuals. It can explore relationships between individuals and an object, activity,
idea, or event.

For instance, if looking at two individual’s attitudes toward going to the gym:
  An example of a balanced relationship would be: George likes Lily. George likes
going to the gym. Lily likes going to the gym (P+O, P+X, O+X).

Alternatively, if George likes Lily, George does not like going to the gym, and Lily also does
not like going to the gym, this would also be balanced (P+O, P-X, O-X).

 An unbalanced relationship would be: George likes Lily. George does not like going
to the gym. Lily likes going to the gym (P+O, P-X, O+X).

Due to the psychological discomfort of this unbalanced relationship, George may be more
likely to change his attitude towards going to the gym due to his positive relationship with
Lily.

Alternatively, if George does not like Lily, and George likes going to the gym, but Lily also
likes going to the gym, this is also unbalanced (P-O, O+X, O+X).

 Having the same attitude as someone you dislike can also make you feel
uncomfortable, so George may be more likely to change his attitude to make it
dissimilar to that of Lily, who he dislikes.

Balance theory supports the view that we are more likely to have similar attitudes and
interests to people we like since it is uncomfortable to have conflicting attitudes to our
friends and loved ones.

 We are also likely to have dissimilar attitudes toward people we do not like. Similarly,
we are thought to be more likely to change our attitudes towards someone or
something based on a liked or disliked person’s attitude towards that thing.

Similarity–dissimilarity effect- The consistent finding that people respond positively to

indications that another person is similar to themselves and negatively to indications that
another person is dissimilar from themselves.
Attitude similarity- The extent to which two individuals share the same attitudes.
Proportion of similarity- The number of specific indicators that two people are similar
divided by the number of specific indicators that two people are similar plus the number of
specific indicators that they are dissimilar.
Repulsion hypothesis- Rosenbaum’s provocative proposal that attraction is not increased by
similar attitudes but is simply decreased by dissimilar attitudes. This hypothesis is incorrect
as stated, but it is true that dissimilar attitudes tend to have negative effects that are stronger
than the positive effects of similar attitudes.
Matching hypothesis- The idea that although we would prefer to obtain extremely attractive
romantic partners, we generally focus on obtaining ones whose physical beauty is about the
same as our own.

CLOSE RALATIONSHIPS:
Close friendship - A relationship in which two people spend a great deal of time together,
interact in a variety of situations, and provide mutual emotional support.
➤Interpersonal attraction is the starting point for many relationships, whether voluntary
or resulting from birth or external constraints.
➤Social psychologists are aware of the central role of relationships in our lives and have
focused on understanding how and why they form, develop, serve their functions, and why
they sometimes end in unhappy or devastating ways.
➤Relationships are strongly influenced by the cultures in which they develop. For example,
marriage and parent-child relationships are influenced by different cultural
expectations. In monogamous cultures, the roles, obligations, and responsibilities of marriage
partners differ, while in multigamous cultures, individuals can be married to multiple partners
simultaneously.
➤Parent-child relationships are also influenced by cultural expectations, with parents
often being emphasized and children often being condemned for not caring for their parents.
Cultural factors often play a powerful role in determining the nature of important social
relationships.

Relationships with Family Members: Our First—and Most Lasting—Close

Relationships
➤ In the 1950s and 1960s, situation comedies on television often showed family
relationships in a very favorable light: mothers were caring, fathers were wise, brothers and
sisters—if sometimes annoying—were shown as generally getting along well. And
grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins shared experience, support, and advice freely and
openly with their relatives. While few families can match the ideal shown in those TV shows.
➤ Many people form friendships during childhood or adolescence that they carry with them
throughout life. And even if separated by thousands of miles, they remain in contact.
➤ Parent-child interactions are of basic importance, as they are usually one's first contact
with another person. During the first year of life, infants are sensitive to facial expressions,
body movements, and sounds, and the mother is equally sensitive. These reciprocal
interactions are a positive educational experience for both parties.

ATTACHMENT STYLES:
➤On the basis of careful studies of mothers and infants, Bowlby developed the concept of
attachment style, the degree of security an individual feels in interpersonal relationships.
➤ Infants, Bowlby suggests, acquire two basic attitudes during their earliest interactions with
an adult. The first is an attitude about self, self-esteem. The behavior and the emotional
reactions of the caregiver provide information to the infant that he or she is a valued,
important, loved individual or, at the other extreme, someone who is without value,
unimportant, and unloved.
➤ The second basic attitude concerns other people, and involves general expectancies and
beliefs about them. This attitude is interpersonal trust and is based largely on whether the
caregiver is perceived by the infant as trustworthy, dependable, and reliable or as
relatively untrustworthy, undependable, and unreliable.
Research findings suggest that we develop these basic attitudes about self and about others
long before we acquire language skills.
1.Secure attachment style- A style characterized by high self-esteem and high interpersonal
trust. This is the most successful and most desirable attachment style. Secure individuals
are best able to form lasting, committed, satisfying relationships throughout life.
2.Fearful-avoidant attachment style- A style characterized by low self-esteem and low
interpersonal trust. This is the most insecure and least adaptive attachment style. Fearful-
avoidant individuals tend not to form close relationships or to have unhappy ones.
3.Preoccupied attachment style- A style characterized by low self-esteem and high
interpersonal trust. This is a conflicted and somewhat insecure style in which the individual
strongly desires a close relationship but feels that he or she is unworthy of the partner and is
thus vulnerable to being rejected.
4.Dismissing attachment style- A style characterized by high self-esteem and low
interpersonal trust. This is a conflicted and somewhat insecure style in which the individual
feels that he or she deserves a close relationship but is frustrated because of mistrust of
potential partners. The result is the tendency to reject the other person at some point in the
relationship to avoid being the one who is rejected. They are the kind of people who state that
they don’t want or need close relationships with others.
➤ These styles are not fixed and can be altered by life experiences, such as divorce or
relationship breakups. Insecure attachments can lead to poor academic performance, fewer
friendships, and increased stress in conflict situation. Particularly fearful-avoidant ones, are
more likely to commit suicide. Attachment styles play a crucial role in romantic
relationships.

RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN AND AMONG SIBLINGS:

➤ Approximately 80 percent of us grow up in a household with at least one sibling, and
sibling interactions contribute to what we learn about interpersonal behavior (Dunn, 1992).
➤ Among elementary school children, those who have no siblings are found to be less liked
by their classmates and to be more aggressive or to be more victimized by aggressors than
those with siblings, presumably because having brothers or sisters provides useful
interpersonal learning experiences.
➤ A familiar theme is some version of “Mom always liked you best” or “They always did
more for you than me.” Parents, though, seldom admit that they feel any such favoritism.

FRIENSHIPS: RELATIONSHIP BEYOND THE FAMILY

➤ Many friendships formed during childhood fade away, but a few survive for decades—or
even an entire lifetime.
➤ These long-term friendships have several important characteristics. For example, many
people tend to engage in self-enhancing behavior (bragging) when interacting with a wide
range of others, but they exhibit modesty when interacting with their long-term friends.
Friends are less likely to lie to one another, unless the lie is designed to make the friend feel
better.
➤A close friend is valued for his or her generosity, sensitivity, and honesty— someone with
whom you can relax and be yourself. But cultural differences exist with respect to friendship,
too. For instance, Japanese college students describe a “best friend” as someone in a give-
and-take relationship, a person with whom it is easy to get along. American students
describe close friends in a similar way except they also value as friends individuals who are
spontaneous and active.

GENDER AND FRIENDSHIPS

➤Women report having more close friends than men do (Fredrickson, 1995). Women also
place more importance on intimacy (e.g., self-disclosure and emotional support) than is true
for men.
➤There are many benefits to having close friends, but there can also be pain when you lose a
friend or have to separate. For example, when a friendship is interrupted by college
graduation, the two individuals must adapt to the emotional threat of separation.

SIMILARITY A BASIS FOR FRIENDSHIP:

➤A study by Selfhout, Denissen, Branje, and Meeus (2009) investigated whether similarity is
the basis for friendship. The researchers conducted a study with freshmen at a European
university, assessing personality traits and comparing themselves to others. They also
analyzed their developing friendships. The study found that perceived similarity was a better
predictor of friendship formation than actual similarity. Although determining actual
similarity was time-consuming and uncertain, it was found that perceived similarity was
more effective in predicting who became friends. The study suggests that perception is
more important than underlying reality in friendship formation.

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS:
➤Rubin, 1970 developed a measure of romantic love, and others (Berscheid & Hatfield,
1974), proposed a psychological theory of love. Since then, though, love has been a major
topic of interest for social psychologists.
• As a result of such research, we now know, fairly clearly, what love is not. It is not
merely a close friendship extended to physical intimacy, and it involves more than
merely being romantically or sexually interested in another person.
 • The specific details appear to vary from culture to culture but there is reason to
believe that the basic experience we call love is a relatively universal one.
PASSIONATE LOVE:
►Involves an intense and often unrealistic emotional reaction to another person.When
this emotion is experienced, it is usually perceived as an indication of true love, but to outside
observers it appears to be infatuation.
►Passionate love usually begins as a sudden, overwhelming, all-consuming positive
reaction to another person-a reaction that feels as if it's beyond control.
► One can be sexually attracted to someone without being in love, but you aren't likely to be
in love in the absence of sexual attraction. Surveys indicate that college students agree.
► In addition to sex, passionate love includes strong emotional arousal, the desire to be
physically close & an intense need to be loved as much as you love the other person.
► Hatfield and Sprecher (1986b) developed a scale to measure the various elements of
passionate love (the Passionate Love Scale).

SEVERAL KINDS OF LOVE:

Unrequited Love: just one person falls in love, and his or her feelings are not returned by the
partner, that's known as unrequited love. Such one-way love is most common among people
with a conflicted attachment style.
Companionate Love: is based on a very close friendship in which two people are sexually
attracted, have a great deal in common, care about each other’s well-being, and express
mutual liking and respect.

TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE:

Sternberg's (1986) triangular model of love.This theory suggests that each love relationship is
made up of three basic components that are present in varying degrees in different couples
(Aron & Westhay, 1996),
1.One component is INTIMACY-the closeness two people feel and the strength of the bond
that holds them together. Intimacy is essentially companionate love. Partners high in intimacy
are concerned with each other's welfare and happiness, and they value, like, count on, and
understand one another.
2.The second component, passion, is based on romance, physical attraction, and sexuality-in
other words, passionate love. Men are more likely to stress this component than women (Fehr
& Broughton, 2001).
3.The third component, decision/commitment, represents cognitive factors such as the
decision that you love and want to be with the other person plus a commitment to maintain
the relationship on a permanent basis.
When all three angles of the triangle are equally strong and balanced, the result is
consummate love defined as the ideal form, but something difficult to attain.

Jealousy: An Internal Threat to Relationships- Romantic and Otherwise

• Feelings of jealousy concerns that a romantic partner or other person about whom we
care deeply might transfer their affection or loyalty to another are deeply
distressing.
• Jealousy is a powerful emotion, and research findings suggest that it is often triggered
by threats to our self-esteem- threats among when we fear that someone we love or
care about will desert us for a rival.
• Jealousy is just one reason why romantic relationships end.
 • There are many others, too—everything from partners’ discovery that they really
don’t have a lot in common, through sheer boredom and intense, prolonged conflicts.
• Whatever the cause of a breakup, though, it is often painful, and often very hard for
the person who wants “out” to do.

Selecting Romantic Partners: Do Women and Men Differ in What They Seek?
The role of physical attractiveness:
►Young people and ones we find attractive are generally healthier and more fit than older
people or ones who are not attractive, so both women and men might well be expected to
prefer romantic partners who show these characteristics.
►These qualities count more heavily for men than for women. women's physical appeal
and youth play a stronger role in men's preferences for them than men's physical appeal and
youth play in women's choice of romantic partners.
Possible future selves and mate preferences:
►For both women and men, the characteristics they sought in a potential mate varied in
terms of the social role they expected to play—primary provider or primary homemaker.
►When participants expected to be a homemaker, they valued provider skills and traits more
highly than homemaker skills and traits, while when they expected to be a provider, they
valued homemaker skills more highly.
►So anticipated future roles strongly affect what we seek in a potential mate.
 Mate selection often involves competition for the most desirable mates, but new
evidence indicates that both women and men often cooperate with their friends in this
context. Women friends help them avoid contact with undesirable partners, while
men's friends help them gain access to desirable ones.

 Secret romances are exciting, but generally appear to have adverse effects on the
relationships themselves and on the people involved in them.

Troubled relationships and marital failure:

1. Emotional Distress: Marital problems can lead to feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety, and
depression for both partners. The emotional toll can be long-lasting and impact overall well-
being.
2. Decreased Self-Esteem: Failed marriages can erode self-esteem and self-worth, as
individuals may blame themselves for the relationship's breakdown.
3. Financial Stress: Divorce or separation often involves dividing assets and liabilities,
which can result in financial strain. Maintaining two separate households can be costly,
leading to financial difficulties.
4. Impact on Children: Children in troubled marriages or those affected by divorce can
experience emotional turmoil. They may struggle with feelings of guilt, confusion, and a
sense of loss.
5. Social Isolation: Some individuals withdraw from social circles during marital problems
or after divorce, leading to a sense of isolation and loneliness.
6. Health Issues: Prolonged stress from troubled relationships can contribute to health
problems like insomnia, weight changes, and even an increased risk of certain illnesses.
7. Impact on Future Relationships: The effects of past relationship failures can influence
future relationships, causing trust issues, commitment concerns, and difficulty in forming
new bonds.
8. Legal Complexities: The process of divorce or separation can be legally complex, leading
to additional stress and financial strain.