Article

Illness, Crisis & Loss

2025, Vol. 33(1) 283–300
Death Immortalized: The © The Author(s) 2023
Article reuse guidelines:
Phenomenology of Social sagepub.com/journals-permissions
DOI: 10.1177/10541373231213148
Media Mourning Among journals.sagepub.com/home/icl

Filipino Millennials

Virlyn S. Dula1, Merian Helena A. Garay1,

Roni Mae E. Lumberio1, Alaiza Mea S. Sioson1,
and Salvacion Laguilles-Villafuerte1

Abstract
Grieving and mourning in death evolved from traditional to digital and in varying age-
groups, the grieving process is expressed in diverse ways. The existing literature
shows little digital mourning, especially in the Filipino culture context. Thus, this phe-
nomenological study aims to describe digitalized mourning through social media plat-
forms to process the grief of millennial participants (24–42 years old), from the
Philippines. The narratives were analyzed through thematic analysis via a repertory
grid and rendered the H.E.R.O. model of social media mourning (Helping and
Hurting, Enriching and Encroaching, Relieving and Reliving, and Obtaining and Obscuring)
that characterizes online mourning demonstrated by Filipino millennials. The findings
have important implications for individuals, families, and communities as they navigate
the challenges of grief and loss in the digital age. This research contributes to the
growing Filipino research on death and dying, specific in age groups, as most beneficial
to gerontological psychology, developmental psychology, and clinical psychology.

Keywords
death, digital mourning, Filipino millennials, phenomenology, social media

1
Psychology Department, College of Social Sciences and Philosophy, Bicol University, Albay, Philippines

Corresponding Author:
Salvacion Laguilles-Villafuerte, Psychology Department, College of Social Sciences and Philosophy, Bicol
University, Daraga, Albay, Philippines.
Emails: [email protected], [email protected]
284 Illness, Crisis & Loss 33(1)

Introduction
Life being uncertain is a lived truth for most people (Bottesi et al., 2019; Edwards,
2012, Masel et al., 2012). However, the notion of birth and death undermines this
uncertainty. Birth and death are universal concepts that influence all human beings
—the death of oneself and a loved one; thus, grief and its accompanying mourning
affect everyone at some time in their life. Frankl et al. (2006) state that suffering
and death are unavoidable and must be accepted because life is meaningless without
them. In popular discourse, a person’s death is the object of grief, grieving, and mourn-
ing. As a result, the traditional definition of mourning is based on grief after losing a
loved one. Mulemi (2017) defines mourning as “the outward social and emotional
expressions of grief.” These expressions include weeping, social and religious perfor-
mances, and thoughtful reflections about deceased individuals or entities associated
with perceived loss. Each death has a hierarchy of grievers who are given priority
and how to give others grieving credibility (Yeager, 2021). Due to the nature of
human attachments (Robson, 2013), there are usually only a small number of
people who are overwrought by the passing of a loved one, a significantly more prom-
inent number of people experience lesser feelings of distress, and those who attend the
funeral or writing condolence cards.
Social media users can share their experiences and emotions with friends and
strangers depending on their privacy settings. Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook
(FB), which opened to Harvard University students in 2004. Even though people
on a Facebook user’s “friends list” are often people they have met in real life
(RL), the list also frequently includes people they have never met. Additionally,
Facebook has been configured such that users can see when their friends post on
the walls of people they may or may not be related to, even if those people are not
on their “friends” list. Facebook has ingrained itself into users’ daily life in the
short time since its introduction. Facebook is where people may share aspects of
their lives, from the insignificant to the momentous, in addition to creating online
profiles and connecting with other users. The practices around death have also
started to emerge as Facebook has become more and more integrated into both
minor and important events in people’s lives, as well as its user base has grown
and become more diverse (Brubaker et al., 2021).
People can communicate with their friends and extended family using social media.
Using different social media platforms, some people can network and locate job pos-
sibilities, interact with people around the world who share their interests, and publish
their ideas, sentiments, and thoughts online; people can communicate and connect
through it. Also, it can be described as “environment[s] built on the very idea of
social interaction and sharing of effect”, as mentioned in the work of Wagner
(2018). Certainly, it is possible to use these tools to inform people about events, activ-
ities, and news, but that is only one use. The remaining part is spent socializing. Social
media’s “social” aspect portrayed mourning as a traditionally private emotional
process. However, since the popularization of social media in the early 2000s, it has
Dula et al. 285

then started to take public forms, explaining why the mediatization of mourning is rel-
atively imminent. The practice of mourning on social media is known as digital mourn-
ing, which according to Babis (2020), has become a worldwide phenomenon in the last
few years. Wagner (2018) considers the act of mourning on social media a reconfig-
ured form of what is known as traditional mourning. The use of social media has
enabled individuals to communicate with loved ones and strangers across the globe
because it provides a platform for communication between them. Embracing the
process of grieving can help people cope with bereavement and loss.
As social media sites play an increasingly important role in the social lives of their
users, they are also gaining a place within a broader ecology of practices related to
experiences with grief, mourning, and death. As a result, they provide a new form
of engagement with grief for the bereaved, which is situated within their daily lives,
making it a socially situated activity (Brubaker et al., 2021). Death is an inevitable
transition that affects individuals and families alike. Social media websites, such as
Facebook, have played an important role in the social management of grief. They
may assist their users in maintaining post-death bonds with the deceased and facilitat-
ing their lives despite the loss (Moyer & Enck, 2020) continuing to express their
attachment, affection for the lost loved ones through social media platforms.
In the same manner, as most studies, this present study aims to fill the gaps in the
previous related literature on mourning, specifically social media mourning.
Basinger and associates (2016) suggested investigating the grief communication
experiences of individuals in other phases of life, and the present study fulfills
this suggestion by having millennials as participants. Moreover, Willis and
Ferrucci (2017) suggested that future research should use in-depth interviews to
question why friends of deceased users post on the deceased’s Facebook page.
Individuals can recall their grief with considerable accuracy; however, current
grief symptoms may color one’s memories of past grief (Basinger et al., 2016).
In order to uncover how frequently these expressions, occur in grief studies,
Egnoto and associates (2014) suggested a need to investigate how social media
can be used as meaningful discourse locations for grief-based communication.
Furthermore, by analyzing textual messages, future research can determine the
status of the grief cycle by extending the investigation of online grief. Scholars
such as Groth et al. (2017) and Glassman (2012) asserted that by studying social
media, the academe would benefit from understanding how social media affects
students’ behavior and assessing the behaviors caused by posts on social media.
Despite the research imperative of underscoring the social significance of digital
mourning, there is a current lack of studies on this topic in the Filipino context,
which Moyer and Enck (2020) for their part, emphasized giving importance to,
conducting similar studies in diverse cultures would provide a better understanding
of the cultural differences in social media mourning.
By analyzing data from a semi-structured interview, this study understood the
notion of social media grieving among Filipino millennials by contextualizing their
perspectives on social media mourning, therefore providing an understanding of
286 Illness, Crisis & Loss 33(1)

how and why people use Facebook to grieve for friends and family, and how they feel
about the general public posts of mourning on social media. Its main objective is to
answer this central question: How do millennials define or give meaning to their
social media mourning?

Methods
Research Design
This study utilized a qualitative approach, employing a phenomenological design to
give an in-depth understanding of the participants’ narratives. Compared to other qual-
itative research designs, phenomenology provides a unique perspective of meaning-
making of their lived experiences. In addition to elucidating the deeper human
aspects of a situation, it also pays attention to moods, sensations, and emotions. A
primary objective of this research design was to examine what the experience is like
for individuals, what it means to them, and what personal implications this has.
This research brought forth the experiences and perspectives of the social media
mourners to be understood; to gain insight into people’s subjective actions and moti-
vations behind their social media mourning.

Selection and Study Site

This study targeted the selection of ten Millennial participants born between the years
1981 to 1997, ages 24–42 years old, as the main criterion of this study. In this study,
participants were drawn from Legazpi City, the capital of Albay. Millennials constitute
48,537 of the population of Legazpi City, based on a survey conducted by the
Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) in 2015. The rest of the inclusion criteria
were: (1) there should be a recent death in their family at least six months before
the conduct of the research because normal grief will most likely lessen within this
time period (PDQ Supportive and Palliative Care Editorial Board, 2022) and; (2)
the participants used their main account to publicly post about the death of their
family or friends on Facebook both on their wall and the deceased person’s wall.
Excluded from this study were the participants who: (1) posted grieving/mourning
posts in another app: (2) who only changed their profile picture to a lighted candle
photo; (3) who used a dummy/gaming/troll account upon posting, and if they
posted in the comment section or shared a post only; (4) and those with clinical diag-
nosis/mental health issues.

Data Measures
To collect the necessary data, a series of interviews were conducted, and audio
recorded. An interview guide was established using a priori codes obtained from pre-
existing studies on social media mourning. This study conducted one-on-one inter-
views using a semi-structured interview guide to answer the research question:
Dula et al. 287

“How do millennials define or give meaning to their social media mourning?” The
interview questions were presented in English and Filipino (Table 1) for easy under-
standing of the participants during the actual interviews. Two strategies were
employed to ensure validity for this study, namely, correspondence and member-
checking techniques. Alongside the considerable amount of existing literature, these
strategies were applied with the intent of providing appropriate information to
resolve the primary research question (Table 2).

Data Collection Procedure

After securing the approval to conduct the data-gathering of this research, the research-
ers recruited the participants through purposive sampling, guided closely by the inclu-
sion and exclusion criteria. The data collection started by discussing the participants on
schedules for interviews. The interviews took place in either a face-to-face or virtual
setting, based on the availability and convenience of the participants. The participants
were oriented regarding the nature and purpose of the research, and securing of the
informed consent forms, and only after this the interview officially took place.
There is a section in the informed consent forms intended to request permission for
the interview to be recorded for transcription purposes; it is necessary to emphasize
that this was completely non-mandatory. Transcribing and coding began immediately
after each interview with participants to ensure that pertinent information was pre-
served and to serve as a guide for subsequent interviews. A thorough review of the
transcription was conducted before “codes” were created based on the passages that
are deemed relevant to the research question. Once this process has been completed,
the remaining data were subjected to non-linear interpretation (in which the codes
are subject to change) and cataloged into patterns, which were now considered themes.

Table 1. Demographic Profile of Participants.

P1 P2 P3 P4 P5
Emma Camila Jack Nova Tonia
Profile (pseudonym) (pseudonym) (pseudonym) (pseudonym) (pseudonym)

Age 27 37 34 40 34
Sex Female Female Male Female Female

P6 P7 P8 P9 P10
Jaclyn Rhea Winona Portia Alma
Profile (pseudonym) (pseudonym) (pseudonym) (pseudonym) (pseudonym)

Age 32 38 36 39 36
Sex Female Female Female Female Female
288 Illness, Crisis & Loss 33(1)

Table 2. Sample Interview Schedule.

Type of Sample interview questions in
question English Filipino translation

Introductory What do you think of Facebook as a Ano ang iyong masasabi sa ideya na ang
platform for sharing your Facebook ay nagsisilbing plataporma
thoughts and life events? para sa pagbabahagi ng iyong mga
saloobin at mga pangyayari sa buhay?
Transitory What are the different forms of Ano ang iba’t ibang klase ng suporta
social support you received from mula sa ibang tao ang natanggap mo sa
social media? social media?
Key/Core How did Facebook help or assist in Paano nakatulong o tumulong ang
your mourning? Facebook sa iyong pagluluksa?
Closing How does Facebook make it easier Paano ginagawang mas madali ng
for you to disclose the news to Facebook ang pagbabahagi ang balita
other people? sa ibang tao?

Ethical Consideration
Informed consent forms were prepared and presented to the chosen participants, aged
24–42 years old adults. A psychologist assisted the researchers during the entire
debriefing procedure. The researchers also provided the participants of this study
with complete anonymity and confidentiality. An additional consent form was
secured prior to the audio recording.

Mode of Analysis
The data gathered were interpreted using thematic analysis via a repertory grid. A
cross-case analysis was accomplished to observe the recurring themes and establish
collective descriptions. These were needed to investigate the experiences of Filipino
millennials during mourning and understand why they used social media in the
process. Data analysis started with the transcription process, focusing primarily on pro-
ducing a ‘complete’ record of the spoken words, including partial words or stutters,
along with some other features. Accordingly, the passages from the transcribed
responses of the participants were organized into “codes,” each focusing on a
single idea that is supported by the meaning unit of the participant’s response.
The categorization process was then performed, which was necessary for grouping
together the previously coded data. These code clusters were thoroughly analyzed,
and the patterns that they formed were categorized into themes. A brief description
of each theme was provided, wherein equally brief and direct quotations from the tran-
script was used to illustrate how the patterns emerge from the raw data. This process
was repeated throughout the interpretation of each participant’s responses which was
referred to as the “within-participant” analysis. Lastly, all themes are integrated from
all participants in the “across-participants” analysis, that shows the general themes
Dula et al. 289

found across all the data. To ensure validation for the gathered data, correspondence
and member-checking techniques were employed. Correspondence technique guaran-
teed that the data was effectively examined by providing a comprehensible justification
of the themes developed, therefore presenting a more valid interpretation.
Member-checking technique, meanwhile, secures the credibility of the responses by
checking the accuracy and resonance of their experiences.

Findings
From the interview of a select group of Filipino Millennials aged 24–41, this study pre-
sents the phenomenology of social media mourning experiences. Similar to the saying
“Not all heroes wear capes,” human experiences dealing with their loss and pain after
losing a loved one is an interesting phenomenon to study, as and how particular people
or social media platforms take on heroic characteristics for them as they go through this
period of mourning. The H.E.R.O Model of Social Media Mourning (see Table 3) pre-
sents the extent to which millennials put meaning to their social media grief. Like
many of our heroes, it is found from the narratives that Filipino millennials also
allow themselves to vent, divert, and personify various things such as social media
for their grieving. Segregated into four themes: Helping and Hurting, Enriching and
Encroaching, Relieving and Reliving, Obtaining and Obscuring, the terms describe
the dichotomy of Filipino millennials’ feelings and viewpoints about themselves
and those around them.

Helping and Hurting

Upon the interpretation of the answers of participants, the first identified theme is
“Helping and Hurting.” Helping is defined as the act of providing assistance to
make a task or situation easier for someone, while hurting refers to causing mental
anguish or distress to the bereaved. The findings suggest that individuals who
receive adequate support during the grieving process are more likely to experience
positive outcomes. Conversely, those who are subjected to heavy grief may struggle
to cope with their loss and may experience prolonged emotional distress.
Interestingly, social media platforms like Facebook have become a popular outlet
for individuals to express their sentiments to their departed loved ones without
feeling ashamed: (Camila) “Para sa akin, nakakatulong ang platapormang ito dahil
nailalabas mo ang saloobin mo lalo na yung mga gusto mong sabihin lalo na kung
nahihiya kang magkwento.” Also, participants noted that posting on Facebook
allowed them to open up and share their feelings more comfortably than in person,
(Winona) “Lahat nung feelings ko talagang nilalabas ko through Facebook.” Some
even found it easier to express themselves online than face-to-face. As per the same
participant, “Di mo na kailangan lumabas diba nasa bahay ka lang tapos may
kausap ka na.” These statements reflect a desire to express oneself without reservation
or hesitation. It suggests a confidence, unencumbered by shyness or self-doubt. One
290 Illness, Crisis & Loss 33(1)

Table 3. H.E.R.O. Model of Social Media Mourning.

Theme Collective Description Subtheme

Helping and Helping is defined as a way of making Self-expression

Hurting it easier for someone to do Vent
something. Self-reflection
Hurting is to cause mental pain or Effortless
distress to the mourner. interaction
Distress
Solitude
Enriching and Enriching is the way of improving or Hint of optimism
Encroaching enhancing the quality or value of Tangible support
something. Diversion
Encroaching is to intrude on one’s Hint of pessimism
life/doing. Messages
Relieving and Relieving pertains to the act of Solace
Reliving appeasing pain, distress, or Remembering
difficulty. Regrets
Reliving is to live through again in
one’s imagination or memory.
Obtaining and Obtaining is disseminating Reach of
Obscuring information to be prevalent, information
customary, or established. Speed of reach
Obscuring is to conceal, keep from Attention
being seen. Maintaining privacy

effective way to vent is to talk to a trusted friend or family member who can provide
support and offer a different perspective.
Interestingly, for the participants, Facebook served as a platform for venting their
frustrations. (Nova) said “Pag sa Facebook kasi mas mabilis siya. Mas naoopen up
ko ang feeling ko through Facebook. Lahat nung feelings ko talagang nilalabas ko
through Facebook.” Some participants utilized Facebook as a means of self-reflection.
(Alma) “Ang dami baga sa Facebook nun mga group na may mga prayers… makikita
niyo sa mga post ko sa myday may everyday akong prayer na nilalagay tas pag nag-
babasa ako ng prayer, yun nakakahelp yun.” Many participants find support in using
Facebook as a means of effortless interaction during times of mourning. (Winona) said
“Facebook na ang easiest platform na magcommunicate. Dahil sa taong nagmo-
mourn, kailangan mo talaga ng kausap kaya mapapadali yung pagmove forward.”
Many individuals find reassurance in specific online posts that help alleviate their emo-
tional pain, and in some cases, even transform it into a source of resilience. (Camila)
mentioned watching relatable videos to help her cope with their grief: “Pag nakakakita
ako ng [relatable videos] pinapanuod ko na lang. Kasi yung sakit na nararamdaman
ko, yun din yung sakit na makakapagpagaling sa akin.” On the other hand, some par-
ticipants experienced distress due to relatable posts that could potentially affect their
Dula et al. 291

grieving process. Additionally, some individuals may refuse to accept the reality of the
situation, leading to further emotional chaos. (Jack) “Hindi ko na masyado naiisip
yung tao na nasa paligid ko during that time na nagluluksa ako.” (Winona) “Eto
yung pinakapainful kasi first kasi siya na nawala sa immediate family. Actually
nung kahit ibuburol nung pandemic, so talagang niyakap ko siya nung ano sa
kabaong niya, kasi hindi ko, parang hindi ko matanggap yung pagkawala ng kuya ko.”
Distress can often lead to a range of emotional responses, including depression
and mixed feelings, when someone attempts to reach out for help. (Portia) “Yung
eldest daughter ko, nag-underwent din siya ng depression.” (Camila) “Masaya
pero maiiyak din dahil sa mga sinasabi nila na patatagin yung loob natin. Imbis
na tumatag tayo, lalo tayong iiyak.” As to some participants, social media does
not provide them with the same level of comfort as it does for others: (Portia)
“Sa social media kasi hindi naman talaga mafifeel na nagluluksa ka […] sa
social media is sharing lang naman ng mga infos about doon sa patay.” This is
due to the absence of physical presence, which can be a source of comfort for
many individuals.

Enriching and Encroaching

The second theme identified is “Enriching and Encroaching.” Enriching refers to the
process of improving or enhancing the quality or value of something from within. On
the other hand, Encroaching is the act of intruding on someone’s life or activities. By
enriching oneself or a particular aspect of life, one can experience growth and progress.
Encroaching, alternately, is a negative concept that involves invading someone’s per-
sonal space or interfering with their activities. This can be done intentionally or unin-
tentionally and can cause discomfort or harm to the person being infringed upon. The
finding suggests that those individuals who have undergone enrichment after posting
are more likely to benefit from the experience which demonstrates a hint of optimism:
As Alma stated, “Ang gaan sa loob na marami sayong nakikiramay na mga tao, hindi
sila aalis.”
These findings have important implications for individuals because actively seeking
enriching experiences can enhance their overall well-being and satisfaction with life.
The impact of Encroaching on the other hand can be significant (Camila) “May
times din na medyo negative kasi nagsasabi yung iba na ‘ba’t ganun’ pero di kasi
nila nararamdaman yung saloobin na gusto natin ipahayag,” to which Portia
shared the same sentiment, “Hindi nga lang natin sometimes maiiwasan na may
mga negative na comments pero depende po sa ipopost mo,” (Winona) “Kaya ang
ganda nung meron nito na platform diba na parang automatic may libangan na
browse browse ka lang so, somehow nakakatulong siya ‘no. Pansamantalang maka-
kalimutan mo yung pinagdadaanan mo na pain,” (Jack) “Facebook, pwede mong
maexpress lahat yung saloobin mo. But minsan, hindi natin alam kung ano yung mag-
iging reaction ng ibang tao regarding dun sa shineshare natin.” In some cases,
encroachment can also have emotional or psychological effects, as individuals may
292 Illness, Crisis & Loss 33(1)

feel a sense of violation or loss of control. Therefore, individuals and communities

need to be aware of the potential risks and take steps to mitigate them even if receiving
encouragement will temporarily stop the pain for some: (Winona) “Kaya ang ganda
nung meron nito na platform diba na parang automatic may libangan na browse
browse ka lang so, somehow nakakatulong siya ‘no. Pansamantalang makakalimutan
mo yung pinagdadaanan mo na pain.” Some participants feel comfortable and empa-
thetic in the presence of others, while others are inspired to summon their courage for
the sake of their loved ones.
Some may find solace in the support of their peers, while others may draw strength
from their connections and relationships. It is heartening to note that some participants
were fortunate enough to receive both financial and moral support, which undoubtedly
played a crucial role in boosting their morale: (Emma) “Marami rin samin tumulong in
the form of financial support,” (Jack) “Some of my friends and classmates abroad,
parang gumawa sila ng group chat nila.” Sympathetic messages also played a vital
role in providing comfort and encouragement, such as the words of Alma, “During
that time that I posted on Facebook, syempre maraming magcocondolence sayo
and everything so ang heart whelming.” However, it is essential to acknowledge
that negative comments are an inevitable part of any journey. From there, the individ-
uals who provide encouragement and support become the HERO, as the acronym sug-
gests. These everyday heroes play a crucial role in helping someone navigate the
grieving process. They can include immediate family members, close friends, rela-
tives, or even strangers who have seen a post or message about the person’s loss.
It’s important to recognize the impact that these heroes can have on someone who
is grieving. Their words and actions can provide comfort, strength, and hope during
a difficult time. Whether it’s a simple message of condolence or a heartfelt gesture,
these acts of kindness can make all the difference.

Relieving and Reliving

The third identified theme is called “Relieving and Reliving.” Relieving pertains to the
way of appeasing pain, distress, or difficulty. While Reliving pertains to living again in
one’s imagination or memory. Participants found solace in receiving gestures of
support to alleviate the distress they experienced while mourning the loss of their
loved ones. As one participant stated, (Jaclyn) “Marami silang nagcomfort kasi pag
nawala talaga ang mahal mo sa buhay, hindi mo talaga alam yung mafifeel mo.”
In addition, receiving comforting messages shortens the length of mourning process
as said by the participant, (Winona) “Syempre pag nagmomourn ka, yung very very
down ka, tapos kapag madaming nagmemessage, mas napapabilis ang mourning.”
Another way participants found relief was by remembering the last moments they
shared with their loved ones. For example, one participant shared, (Jaclyn)
“Nakatingala siya sakin, yun na pala yung last breath niya kaya grabe yung sakit
na naramdaman ko nung time na yun hinintay niya talaga ako.” A participant, also
said that (Camila) “Mas lalo akong nasasaktan sa mga pinapafeel nila pero
Dula et al. 293

nakaka-overwhelm din kasi nandyan sila para sakin—para alalayan ako at patatagin
yung nararamdaman ko kahit na sobrang sakit sa una,” overwhelmed by the moral
support that was given by other people. Finally, some participants expressed regret
for not making the most of their time together, as Tonia mentioned, (Jack) “Kaya
dapat habang nandyan buhay pa siya, dapat talaga maipakita mo sakanya kung
gaano siya kahalaga sa buhay mo.” Overall, this theme highlights the importance
of finding ways to cope with the pain of losing a loved one. Whether it’s through
receiving support from others, reliving memories, or expressing gratitude for the
time spent together, it’s essential to find healthy ways to grieve and move forward.

Obtaining and Obscuring

The last identified theme is called “Obtaining and Obscuring” to which obtaining per-
tains to the way of disseminating information to be prevalent, customary, or estab-
lished. All the participants stated that they use Facebook as a means to inform
people regarding the death of a loved one. However, they still showed a demonstration
of obscurity which means concealing or keeping from being seen by many.
Every single one of the participants is aware of the distance the information they
put online will reach in an instant: (Jaclyn) “Parang seconds nga lang, madali nang
nakakaalam then madami din nagshe-share kaya mas magandang platform yung
Facebook kasi maraming tao yung nakakaalam.” It was mentioned that the reach is
unpredictable due to the fact that it is non-discriminatory and can be shared.
(Emma) said “Ngayon, isang post mo lang, whether they care for you or not, nasta
nagpost ka. At least kung sino man nakakita nun at least informed sila.” Since they
saw Facebook as non-limiting, they used it as an avenue to gain attention and
garner new possible connections, regardless of how good or bad they may be.
(Emma) “Well Facebook, hindi niya nililimit ka lang sa mga kakilala mo, but it
also helps you connect with other people like yung mga workmates mo, colleagues,
yung mga important persons around your work na kailangan mong icontact.” One
participant mentioned that even just a change in profile picture proved to be an effec-
tive way for people to reach out. With just one post, lots of people who have seen it
have offered help, even those from other countries. (Emma) “Nung nagchange
profile lang ako, marami na silang nag-ask kung ano talaga ang reason pati yung
mga students niya nan asai bang bansa nagpaabot din ng tulong.” Nevertheless,
because of the knowledge that not every connection will be good, they have developed
a sense of obscurity and made sure to still maintain their privacy, as (Alma) stated,
“Hindi naman kailangan ipost kasi minsan masyado na nating inoopen yung buhay
natin sa public, minsan [may] nakikialam na, ayoko lang kasi ganon mangyari.”
Per the participant, some people tend to meddle in other people’s business so it is
better to not put everything on social media to still keep one’s peace.
According to another participant, some problems are better to be managed indepen-
dently. Meaning, not everyone has to know what the other person is up to because
everyone has their own businesses to attend to also. As (Rhea) said, “May mga tao
294 Illness, Crisis & Loss 33(1)

rin talaga, meron tayong mga problema na hindi natin sinasabi sa lahat na parang
saatin lang, na parang saakin lang to. Kaya ko tong solusyonan. Pero meron
naman ding pwede ishare.” Most of the participants have agreed that while it is fine
to post, the responsible use of social media is essential to avoid trouble. (Alma)
“Basta ang responsible use of this media lang talaga para at least yung makukuha
mong response is yung okay din kasi minsan may nambabash, nambabastos. So,
responsible use of social media is essential in anything or event sa buhay.”

Discussion
This research aimed to analyze and contextualize Filipino millennials’ perspectives on
social media mourning through a series of interviews. Based on the answers, it is found
that posting on Facebook while grieving has given them a dichotomy of experiences
that either assist or hinder their moving on process. The H.E.R.O. model of social
media mourning is therefore developed from this study, encompassing the following
themes: helping and hurting, enriching and encroaching, relieving and reliving, and
lastly obtaining and obscuring. These themes explain the causes as to why they
post during bereavement and the outcomes after they post. These themes were synthe-
sized and analyzed alongside the Social Media Mourning model to answer the central
question: How do millennials give meaning to their social media mourning?

Helping and Hurting

Noticeably, based on the findings, individuals who are under the theme of helping
were able to express themselves more effectively through social media. It is found
that they use Facebook as a platform to connect, vent, and express feelings, especially
with those like-minded individuals with the same experiences as them in online
groups, allowing them to gain support. Additionally, social media serves as a means
for them to engage in meaningful interactions with others. This is similar to what
Segerstad and Kasperowski (2014) stated that by sharing their experiences with
other bereaved individuals, the members can learn how to cope and adapt to their
losses. It appears that constant and instant access to the community through digital
and mobile media is an essential resource for bereaved individuals. The paramount
importance is the assurance that someone is always available to connect with, regard-
less of the time or place, day or night. On the other hand, hurting is also identified.
Participants are subjected to heavy grief and may struggle to cope with their loss.
The more they express and release their emotions, the more they may experience
prolonged emotional distress and a depressive state. This is similar to what Babis
(2020) redounded that while some people take consolation in seeing what they
view as personal expressions of loss, others express distress and may even doubt
the veracity of individuals’ words given the platform on which they are conveyed.
Many challenging grief-related activities, such as reconstructing a narrative about
the connection, re-situating their relationship with the departed person, and creating
Dula et al. 295

a new sense of self after loss, are necessary when close relationship partners pass away.
When individuals receive emotional support through social media during times of
mourning, it positively impacts their overall well-being. However, responding to
such support can also evoke pain and sadness. Specifically, the researchers explored
the impact of emotional support received through social media during mourning.
While such support can positively affect an individual’s life, it can also elicit feelings
of pain and sadness when responding to it.

Enriching and Encroaching

After sharing their thoughts and experiences on social media, it is found that the
participants’ feel a sense of comfort and connection with others, which lead to
various forms of support, including financial and emotional assistance. Also,
those who actively seek out positive experiences are more likely to experience
greater well-being and overall satisfaction with life. This is the same as the
study stating that many individuals are able to manage the challenges of life by
seeking support from their loved ones and discovering a path towards a fulfilling
and purposeful existence. (Shear, 2012). It is also supported by a similar study
which states that being physically surrounded by others and receiving verbal and
nonverbal forms of social support is critical for survivors adjusting to their loss
and taking care of their essential needs (Rubin, 2014). Encroaching can leave indi-
viduals with a sense of violation and loss of controls especially in matters which are
emotionally draining or mood-related circumstances.
In a separate article, the four types of expansions in regards to mourning was
discussed under the light that it impacts norms which then leads to formation of
new ones, therefore posing possible problems to social media users (Wagner,
2018). Indeed, social media platforms’ lack of norms on mourning became appar-
ent in some cases. The findings imply that Facebook communication for bereaved
users is both advantageous and difficult, which may result in a coping dilemma.
(Rossetto et al. 2014). The concept of positive and negative experiences can
enrich our lives, but it can also encroach upon our well-being. It is important to
find a balance between the two and learn from both types of experiences. By
embracing the positive and learning from the negative, we can grow and develop
as individuals.

Relieving and Reliving

Relieving refers to the act of releasing or alleviating stress, tension or discomfort
from within oneself, while reliving involves recalling past experiences in order
to recreate the emotions felt during those moments. Both processes require intro-
spection and self-awareness, as individuals must analyze their own thoughts and
feelings to fully engage in either activity. Relieving and reliving can be challeng-
ing, they offer valuable opportunities for personal growth and emotional healing.
296 Illness, Crisis & Loss 33(1)

Their emotional responses to different situations and how they can gain greater
understanding of themselves. According to recent research, individuals tend to
express their grief in a way that is visible to others. They may share their emotions
through social media posts, and receive sympathy and comforting words from their
peers.
This further explains the idea that linguistic style can represent feelings of distress
as applied to social media posts with grieving content (Brubaker et al., 2021). As cited
in the study of Rusu (2017) the deceased gains a reputational blessing. Relieving the
memories that they have with the deceased. Furthermore, using Facebook, users can
interact with death and preserve the presence of deceased members through computer-
mediated content (Willis, & Ferrucci, 2017) as they relive through the memory lane.
This shows how Facebook helps us to relieve and relive the memories that we have
with the deceased. Social media can serve as a valuable tool for individuals to
express their grief and maintain a connection with deceased loved ones. By under-
standing the language and behavior patterns associated with post-mortem social
media content, we can gain insight into the grieving process and provide support to
those who are experiencing loss.

Obtaining and Obscuring

Obtaining and obscuring are two opposite processes that play a crucial role in the capa-
bilities of human beings. In order to acquire new knowledge, individuals must obtain
information through various means like experiencing. However, obscuring is neces-
sary in certain situations to protect confidentiality or sensitive details that could be
harmful if shared publicly. In today’s digital age, it is becoming increasingly
common for personal information to be shared online, often without the individual’s
consent. Like the way of disseminating information to be prevalent, customary, or
established which is called obtaining. However, it is important to remember that non-
digital methods can also lead to private information becoming public. This can have
serious consequences, particularly for those who have passed away and are no
longer able to defend themselves against any negative scrutiny. Selfridge and
Mitchell (2020) stated that social media allows news of a death to disseminate twice
as quickly as any non-digital means, private lives to become public, and the deceased’s
reputation to be scrutinized, as the words and actions of other young people who are
still trying to survive.
This can also affect the words and actions of Filipino millennials who are still trying
to navigate their way through life. Obscuring the things or information that they want
to keep to themselves. It’s crucial to be mindful of the information we share, both
online and offline, and to respect the privacy of others. It is imperative to remain cog-
nizant of the potential ramifications of one’s actions, as they possess the ability to leave
a lasting impression on both oneself and those in the immediate vicinity. By assuming
accountability for one’s conduct both online and offline, it is possible to cultivate a
more secure and courteous atmosphere for all individuals involved.
Dula et al. 297

Conclusion
The objective of this study was to provide a comprehensive understanding of the expe-
riences of Filipino millennials by examining their posting behavior during the mourn-
ing process. The central question of the study, “How do millennials define or give
meaning to their social media mourning?,” served as a guide to formulate the
H.E.R.O. model of social media mourning. This model categorizes the various
forms of mourning demonstrated by Filipino millennials on the popular social
media platform, Facebook. The H.E.R.O. model is an innovative approach that
sheds light on the complex ways in which individuals grieve and express their emo-
tions online. By analyzing the different variations of mourning, we can gain a
deeper understanding of how social media is changing the way we mourn and cope
with loss.
Helping and Hurting are contextualized through the understanding that people
either interpret others’ sympathy as encouraging or discouraging. Enriching refers to
the process of improving or enhancing the quality or value of something from
within. On the other hand, Encroaching is the act of intruding on someone’s life
or activities. By enriching oneself or a particular aspect of life, one can experience
growth and progress. Encroaching, alternatively, is a negative concept that involves
invading someone’s personal space or interfering with their activities. This can be
done intentionally or unintentionally and can cause discomfort or harm to the
person being infringed upon. The term Relieving describes a process of alleviating
internal discomfort, whereas Reliving involves mentally revisiting a past experience.
While relieving pertains to the present moment, reliving involves recalling events
from the past and experiencing them again in one’s imagination or memory. Lastly,
Obtaining and Obscuring are contextualized with the former being the voluntary dis-
semination of information, while the latter is the obscuration or concealing of
information.
In conclusion, social media has become a valuable tool for individuals to express
their grief and receive support during the grieving process. However, it is important
to recognize that it may not be the best outlet for everyone, due to the fact that physical
presence can also be a source of comfort. Throughout this study, it has been found that
some participants feel comfortable and empathetic in the presence of others, while
others are inspired to summon their courage for the sake of their loved ones. Some
may find solace in the support of their peers, while others may draw strength from
their connections and relationships. Some of the themes highlight the importance of
finding healthy ways to cope with the pain of losing a loved one. Whether it’s
through receiving support from others, reliving memories, or expressing gratitude
for the time spent together, it’s essential to find ways to grieve and move forward.
Lastly, these themes underscore the importance of striking a balance between the ben-
efits and risks of social media usage. By being mindful of their actions and taking steps
to protect their privacy, individuals can reap the benefits of social media while mini-
mizing the potential disadvantages. In essence, they saw social media as a two-edged
298 Illness, Crisis & Loss 33(1)

sword. Even with the knowledge that they can get hurt by posting, they still did it
because they believed it would help.
Although some individuals may find it intrusive when others pry into their per-
sonal affairs, they still derive value from the insights and perspectives that these
interactions provide. They still felt relieved by posts that make them relive their
past experiences. Lastly, all of the participants knew that there are some things
not worth sharing, however, they still post their grievances. They still share
various pieces of information on Facebook despite knowing that it can reach a
vast number of accounts. Through this study, the researchers hope to provide valu-
able insights into the unique ways in which Filipino millennials use social media to
mourn and commemorate their loved ones. Furthermore, this study aims to make a
valuable contribution to the field of bereavement and loss, with a particular focus
on thanatology through the lens of the Filipino people. These findings have impor-
tant implications for individuals, families, and communities as they navigate the
challenges of grief and loss in the digital age.
In relation to the Social Media Mourning, also known as the SMM theory, by
Moore, this research added more evidence of the causal conditions, actions, and con-
sequences of social media mourning. The H.E.R.O. model did not only discuss the
communication process unlike the SMM model. Instead, it utilized the SMM model
to further dissect the reason behind the mourners’ posts up to the feelings they gain
from posting. Throughout this research, it is found that mourners want to actively
work through their loss and seek answers, share memories of the deceased, and com-
municate with others about the deceased. Due to this, they made use of social media to
satisfy their need to vent and find people to relate to. The participants’ awareness of the
consequences after they posted is what created the dichotomies which the H.E.R.O.
model showcased. These dichotomies further explained the feelings, motivations,
and individual processes the millennials go through during their bereavement
process in the context of Filipino culture.
Due to the fact that the interview questions were formulated around the central ques-
tion, the data gathered were also only limited to answering it. As a result, the H.E.R.O
model was made on the premise that there are Filipino millennials who prefer grieving
with the help of social media, especially Facebook. This research also mainly focused
on the mourners’ reasons for using social media sites during their bereavement process,
and did not give much attention to the relationship, type and reason for the death of
the deceased they posted about. In addition, only a small number of millennial participants
from a certain city in the Philippines named Legazpi City, Albay were interviewed which
limited the reach of the study. Therefore, this research is not globally and statistically rep-
resented, and is extremely reliant only on the participants’ answers. Consequently, this
study has gained an understanding of the underlying patterns in the posting behavior of
Filipino millennials as they handle their grief. It has also explored the advantages and dis-
advantages of publicly sharing one’s mourning experience.
Additionally, by examining the opinions and beliefs of the participants regard-
ing Facebook posting practices, it is possible to comprehend the impact of public
Dula et al. 299

grieving on both the individual and their audience. Furthermore, assessing the cul-
tural norms and values that shape Filipino millennials’ online behavior can provide
valuable insights for individuals and organizations seeking to engage with this
demographic. This study aims to make a significant contribution to the expanding
research on the intersection of technology and culture. It seeks to provide valuable
insights into the ways in which social media is transforming the process of grieving
and mourning. By examining the impact of social media on our mourning practices,
this study will shed light on the evolving role of technology in our lives and its
influence on our cultural norms. Ultimately, this research will help us better under-
stand the complex relationship between technology and culture and its implications
for our society.

Declaration of Conflicting Interests

The authors declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship,
and/or publication of this article.

Funding
The authors received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this
article.

ORCID iD
Salvacion Laguilles-Villafuerte https://orcid.org/0000-0003-4640-0555

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