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Advances in High-speed Rail Technology

Zhigang Liu
Wenqiang Liu
Junping Zhong

Deep Learning-Based
Detection of Catenary
Support Component
Defect and Fault in
High-Speed Railways
Advances in High-speed Rail Technology
“Advances in High-speed Rail Technology” presents the latest and most cutting-
edge theories, techniques, and methodologies in the multidisciplinary field of high-
speed railways, focusing on advances and findings from China. This series includes
monographs, professional books and edited volumes from dedicated conferences
and workshops. All volumes are authored or edited by established experts in their
fields and undergo rigorous peer review, based on the editors’ preview and selection
and refereeing by independent experts. The intended audience includes researchers,
engineers, industrial practitioners, graduate students, and professionals. Topics of
interest in “Advances in High-speed Rail Technology” include, but are not limited
to: Infrastructure, Mobile Equipment, Communication & Signal, Traction Power
Supply, Operation Organization, etc.
Zhigang Liu · Wenqiang Liu · Junping Zhong

Deep Learning-Based
Detection of Catenary
Support Component Defect
and Fault in High-Speed
Railways
Zhigang Liu Wenqiang Liu
School of Electrical Engineering Department of Civil and Environmental
Southwest Jiaotong University Engineering
Chengdu, Sichuan, China Hong Kong Polytechnic University
Hong Kong, China
Junping Zhong
Department of Industrial and Systems
Engineering
Hong Kong Polytechnic University
Hong Kong, China

ISSN 2363-5010 ISSN 2363-5029 (electronic)

Advances in High-speed Rail Technology
ISBN 978-981-99-0952-0 ISBN 978-981-99-0953-7 (eBook)
https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-99-0953-7

© The Editor(s) (if applicable) and The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Nature
Singapore Pte Ltd. 2023
This work is subject to copyright. All rights are solely and exclusively licensed by the Publisher, whether
the whole or part of the material is concerned, specifically the rights of translation, reprinting, reuse
of illustrations, recitation, broadcasting, reproduction on microfilms or in any other physical way, and
transmission or information storage and retrieval, electronic adaptation, computer software, or by similar
or dissimilar methodology now known or hereafter developed.
The use of general descriptive names, registered names, trademarks, service marks, etc. in this publication
does not imply, even in the absence of a specific statement, that such names are exempt from the relevant
protective laws and regulations and therefore free for general use.
The publisher, the authors, and the editors are safe to assume that the advice and information in this book
are believed to be true and accurate at the date of publication. Neither the publisher nor the authors or
the editors give a warranty, expressed or implied, with respect to the material contained herein or for any
errors or omissions that may have been made. The publisher remains neutral with regard to jurisdictional
claims in published maps and institutional affiliations.

This Springer imprint is published by the registered company Springer Nature Singapore Pte Ltd.
The registered company address is: 152 Beach Road, #21-01/04 Gateway East, Singapore 189721,
Singapore
Preface

By the end of 2022, China’s high-speed railway operating mileage has exceeded
40,000 km and can circle the earth’s equator, which is the largest high-speed railway
operation network in the world at present. China’s high-speed railway development
has gradually transitioned from the construction stage to the operation and main-
tenance stage. With the gradual improvement of the requirements for the operation
quality of high-speed railways, higher requirements are put forward for the reli-
able operation of the equipment of the traction power supply system of high-speed
railways.
The catenary, also called overhead contact system (OCS), is the critical equipment
of traction power supply systems, mainly responsible for the power supply of multiple
power units (EMUs). And its reliability will directly affect the safe operation of
EMUs. Therefore, efficient detections and estimations of the catenary in high-speed
railways are significant and necessary for the whole railway’s maintenance to ensure
the catenary’s regular operation.
The catenary support device is the critical part of the catenary in high-speed rail-
ways and mainly includes 12 categories of support components, such as insulators,
isoelectric lines, screw pins, etc. The actual operation shows that under the influence
of complex factors such as external environment and train vibration, defects or faults
of support components perhaps occur, such as looseness, missing, fracture, and crack,
which can result in the decline of their structural reliability. They may lead to the
failure of the catenary system and endanger the operation safety of high-speed rail-
ways. Therefore, the detection of defects and faults in catenary support components
is vital for ensuring the safe situation of high-speed railways.
Due to the characteristics of the catenary support devices that have a complex
structure, many types of components, large-scale differences, fewer defect and fault
samples, and complex detection routes, it brings huge difficulty for the detection of
defects and faults of the catenary in high-speed railways. Aiming at these problems, a
series of solutions based on deep learning for detecting catenary support component
defects and faults are presented in detail in this book.
The book includes seven chapters. It begins with an overview of catenary detection
in high-speed railways in Chap. 1. The advance of deep learning is introduced in

v
vi Preface

detail in Chap. 2. Catenary support components and their characteristics in high-

speed railways are presented in Chap. 3. For the preprocessing of catenary support
components’ images, the corresponding methods and technologies are described in
Chap. 4. The two key parts for the detection of catenary support component defects
and faults, namely component positioning and defect and fault detection, which are
also the main contents of this book, are discussed in Chaps. 5 and 6, respectively. In
addition, Chap. 7 induces the detection methods based on the 3D point cloud.
This book systematically shows the latest research outcomes of catenary detec-
tion technologies in high-speed railways, especially the detection of catenary support
component defects and faults. Some methods or algorithms have been adopted in
practical engineering. They can provide important references and help the researcher,
scholar, and engineer with pantograph and catenary technology in high-speed rail-
ways. Different from traditional catenary support component detection methods of
catenary support components based on image processing, some advanced methods
in the deep learning field including convolutional neural networks, reinforcement
learning, generative adversarial network, etc., are adopted and improved in this book.
In this book, we try to indicate an increasing interest in deep learning applications
in the detection of high-speed railway catenary for actual engineering applications.
We hope to provide some references and help for other worldwide researchers who
engage in maintaining high-speed railways.

Chengdu, China Zhigang Liu

Hong Kong, China Wenqiang Liu
Hong Kong, China Junping Zhong

Acknowledgments This book is partly supported by the National Natural Science Foundation of
China (51977182, U143420) and the Sichuan Province Youth Science and Technology Innovation
Team under Grant (2016TD0012). It is also a summary of the achievements of our team for many
years, supported by doctoral and master graduate research, such as the works of Ye Han, Changdong
Wu, Liyou Wang, Kai Liu, Yang Lv, Yuyang Li, Cheng Yang, Changjiang Yang, Changjiang Li,
Xusong Liu, Weiping Guo, Qiao Li, and Junwen Chen.
Contents

1 Overview of Catenary Detection of Electrified Railways . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

1.1 Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
1.2 Catenary Detection and Monitoring System . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
1.3 Catenary Component Detection Technologies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
1.4 Catenary Parameter Detection Technologies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
1.5 Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
2 Advance of Deep Learning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
2.1 Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
2.2 Image Feature . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
2.2.1 Handcrafted Features . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
2.2.2 Deep CNN Feature . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
2.3 Deep Learning Frameworks in Computer Vision . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
2.3.1 Image Object Detection . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
2.3.2 Image Object Segmentation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
2.3.3 Image Anomaly Detection . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
2.4 Other Deep Learning Approaches . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
2.4.1 Deep Autoencoder . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
2.4.2 Generative Adversarial Networks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
2.4.3 Deep Reinforcement Learning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38
2.5 Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
3 Catenary Support Components and Their Characteristics
in High-Speed Railways . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
3.1 Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
3.2 Catenary System . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
3.3 Catenary Characteristics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48
3.4 Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54

vii
viii Contents

4 Preprocessing of Catenary Support Components’ Images . . . . . . . . . . 55

4.1 Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55
4.2 Catenary Image Denoise with LWBCTCS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55
4.2.1 Denoise Method LWBCTCS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56
4.2.2 Catenary Image Denoising Experiment and Analysis . . . . . . 60
4.3 Catenary Image Enhancement with Deep Learning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64
4.3.1 Catenary Image Enhancement Based
on Zero-DCE Model . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65
4.3.2 Catenary Image Enhancement Based on Retinex
Theory and Generative Adversarial Networks . . . . . . . . . . . . 72
4.3.3 Catenary Image Enhancement Based
on Reinforcement Learning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83
4.4 Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93
5 Positioning of Catenary Support Components . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95
5.1 Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95
5.2 Simultaneous Positioning of CSCs with Variant Deep CNN
Object Detection Frameworks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96
5.2.1 CSCDNET—CSC Positioning with Multiple Scale
Feature Prediction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97
5.2.2 CSCNET—CSC Positioning with Unsupervised
Coarse Image Classification . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107
5.2.3 CSCSIN—CSCs Positioning with Position
Relationship Learning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119
5.3 Positioning Refinement of CSCs with Deep
Learning Techniques . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 128
5.3.1 Horizontal Positioning Box Refinement with Deep
Reinforcement Learning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129
5.3.2 Obliqued Positioning Box Refinement with Generative
Adversarial Networks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138
5.3.3 Segmentation Boundary Refinement
with the CascadePSP Network . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 147
5.4 Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 158
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 159
6 Detection of Catenary Support Component Defect and Fault . . . . . . . 163
6.1 Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 163
6.2 Messenger Wire Base Defect Detection and Evaluation Using
the Wavelet Transform . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 164
6.2.1 Suspected Crack Region Extraction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 164
6.2.2 Crack Detection of Messenger Wire Bases . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 172
6.2.3 Analysis of Experimental Results . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175
6.2.4 Conclusions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 176
6.3 Insulator Defect Detection and Evaluation Based
on Autoencoder Networks (AE) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177
Contents ix

6.3.1 Insulator Piece Separation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177

6.3.2 Insulator Defect Extraction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 180
6.3.3 Insulator Defect Evaluation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 181
6.3.4 Analysis of Experimental Results . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 181
6.3.5 Conclusions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 188
6.4 Isoelectric Line Defect Detection and Evaluation Based
on Generative Adversarial Networks (GANs) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 188
6.4.1 Generative Adversarial Representation and Fault
Diagnosis of Isoelectric_Lines . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 191
6.4.2 Analysis of Experimental Results . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 196
6.4.3 Conclusions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 199
6.5 Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 199
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 199
7 Detection of the Parameters of Catenary Support Devices
Based on 3D Point Clouds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 203
7.1 Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 203
7.2 Geometry Parameter Detection of Contact Wires
with RANSAC . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 204
7.2.1 Acquisition and Preprocessing of the Catenary 3D
Point Cloud Data . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 205
7.2.2 Detection and Extraction of Contact Wires . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 209
7.2.3 Detection of the Catenary Conductor
Height and Stagger . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 212
7.2.4 Analysis of Experimental Results . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 215
7.2.5 Conclusions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 218
7.3 Structure Parameter Detection with 3D Deep Segmentation
Neural Networks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 219
7.3.1 Cantilever Component Separation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 221
7.3.2 Cantilever Structure Parameter Measurement . . . . . . . . . . . . . 224
7.3.3 Analysis of Experimental Results . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 228
7.3.4 Conclusions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 235
7.4 Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 237
References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 237
Abbreviations

3D PointCNN Three-dimensional point convolutional neural network

A3C Asynchronous Advantage Actor-Critic
ADNET Action decision network
AE Autoencoder
ASIFT Affine Scale Invariant Feature Transform
BEGAN Boundary Equilibrium Generative Adversarial Networks
BLS-GSM Bayesian Least Squares Gaussian Scale Mixture
BS Brace_sleeve
BSS Brace_sleeve_screw
CascadePSP Cascaded pyramid scene parsing network
CEB Curve enhancement block
CGAN Conditional Generative Adversarial Networks
CNN Convolutional neural network
CRN Classification and regression network
CSC Catenary support component
CSCDNET Catenary Support Component Detection Network
CSCNET Catenary support component network
CSCs Catenary support components
CSCSIN Catenary support component structure inference network
CT Contourlet transform
CV Curvelet transform
CVAE Conditional Variational Autoencoder
DAE Denoising autoencoder
DBSCAN Density-based spatial clustering of applications with noise
DCNN Deep convolutional neural network
DFB Directional Filter Bank
DL Deep learning
DRL Deep reinforcement learning
EMU Electric multiple unit
FAB Feature attention block
Faster R-CNN Faster Region-based Convolutional Neural Network

xi
xii Abbreviations

FCN Full convolutional networks

FEN Feature extraction network
FPN Feature pyramid network
FPS Frame per second
GAN Generative adversarial networks
GIoU Generalized Intersection over Union
GRU Gated Recurrent Unit
GT Ground truth
HOG Histogram of Oriented Gradient
ICEN Illumination component enhancement Network
IDN Image decoupled network
IoU Intersection over union
IP_RANSAC Improved projection random sample consensus
LBP Local binary patterns
LEC Light-enhancement curve
LP Laplacian pyramid
LSCCRN Large-scale classification and regression network
LSCSCs Large-scale catenary support components
LWBCT Lifting wavelet-based contourlet transform
LWBCTCS Lifting wavelet-based contourlet transform with cycle shift
invariance
LWT Lifting wavelet transform
MABR Minimum area bounding rectangle
mAP Mean average precision
mBA Mean boundary accuracy
MDP Markov decision process
mIoU Mean intersection over union
MPN Mask prediction network
MSE Mean squared error
NMS Non-maximum suppression
PCA-SIFT Principal component analysis scale invariant feature transform
PGGAN Progressive growing generative adversarial networks
PixelRL Pixel reinforcement learning
PR curve Precision-recall curve
PSNR Peak signal noise ratio
PSPNET Pyramid scene parsing network
RANSAC Random sample consensus
RCCAEN Reconstruction and classification convolutional autoencoder
network
RCDN Reflection component denoising network
ResNet-101 Residual network with 101 layers
RL Reinforcement learning
RMC Reward map convolution
RoI Region of interest
RPN Region proposal network
Abbreviations xiii

SAE Sparse autoencoder

SB Sparse block
SC_LCCP Slope Constrained Locally Convex Connected Patches
SIFT Scale Invariant Feature Transform
SIN Structure inference network
SNR Signal noise ratio
SPCCD Structure parameters of catenary cantilever devices
SSCCRN Small-scale classification and regression network
SSCSCs Small-scale catenary support components
SSD Single-Shot MultiBox Detector
SSIM Structural similarity
SURF Speeded Up Robust Features
SVM Support Vector Machine
TOL-Framework Tighter Oriented Localization Framework
TPH-YOLOv5 Transformer Prediction Head You Only Look Once Version5
VAE Variational autoencoder
VGG16 A CNN with 16 layers (Developed by the Visual Geometry
Group)
WGAN Wasserstein generative adversarial networks
WGAN-GP Wasserstein generative adversarial networks with gradient
penalty
YOLACT You Only Look At CoefficienTs
YOLO You Only Look Once
Zero-DCE Zero-reference Deep Curve Estimation
Chapter 1
Overview of Catenary Detection
of Electrified Railways

1.1 Introduction

The high-speed railway catenary system, which mainly consists of support devices
and suspension devices, is an essential part of the high-speed railway and is respon-
sible for providing stable electrical energy for the operation of the train, as shown in
Fig. 1.1. The interaction between the pantograph and catenary systems easily forces
the catenary to vibrate violently, resulting in various degrees of mechanical failures
of catenary support components (CSCs), such as looseness or missing, damage, and
cracking. These factors will reduce the stability of the catenary structure and even
threaten the safe operation of the entire railway system. In addition, since the cate-
nary has been in the open air for a long time, it is easily affected by the natural
environment, such as strong winds and blizzards. Once a failure occurs, it will cause
immeasurable losses. In 2012, a specification “Technical requirements of high-speed
railway power supply safety detection and monitor system” [1] was published by the
Railway Ministry of China to promote the development and application of efficient
non-contact catenary detection and monitoring technologies and timely discover and
deal with potential hidden dangers, as shown in Fig. 1.2. The system mainly studies
non-contact catenary detection and monitoring technologies. The initial research
used more traditional data processing and analysis techniques, which have poor
timeliness, universality, and robustness. It is challenging to meet the maintenance
requirements of existing and rapidly growing large-scale high-speed railway lines
[2].
Therefore, the development of catenary detection and monitoring technologies
combined with the latest artificial intelligence technologies, which have been verified
and applied in different industrial fields, is important and necessary. In this chapter, an
overview of current catenary component defects and parameter detection is presented
and discussed.

© The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Nature Singapore Pte Ltd. 2023 1
Z. Liu et al., Deep Learning-Based Detection of Catenary Support Component
Defect and Fault in High-Speed Railways, Advances in High-speed Rail Technology,
https://doi.org/10.1007/978-981-99-0953-7_1
2 1 Overview of Catenary Detection of Electrified Railways

Catenary suspension devices Catenary support devices

Fig. 1.1 Catenary system

(a) (b)

(c) (d)

Fig. 1.2 Different types of catenary faults. a Foreign body. b Bird’s nest. c Falling off of Droppers.
d Catenary collapse
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 IRWIN RUSSELL.

The night before Christmas, 1879, witnessed the death of one of the
brightest young humorists the United States has ever called her
own. Of bright intellect and finished education, Irwin Russell was
rapidly winning a name in American literature, when taken ill, as the
result of overwork; he lingered a few days, and died Christmas Eve.
Little is known of the early days of Irwin Russell. He was born in Fort
Gibson, and at an early age was left an orphan, relying on his own
exertions for a livelihood. He studied law and began the practice of it
in his native city, but, becoming enamored with the life of a
Bohemian, he started for New Orleans in search of fame and
fortune. He obtained employment at local writing in various
newspaper offices, and finally found regular employment in the
editorial rooms of the New Orleans Times. Then he left the South
and turned up in New York city, where he struggled with fate for a
time. His existence was a battle with necessity from the first. It
seemed that he was born unlucky. Although his prospects were
always fine, he never lived to establish himself permanently
anywhere. Few men ever received so many buffets from the hand of
fate.
Alone and friendless in New York, young and ambitious, yet weak
and moneyless, success and he were strangers. The health of the
poor boy failed him, and he would have died had he remained in
New York. He shipped on board of a steamer bound for the gulf, and
worked his way home—not home, for he had none, but to New
Orleans, where he had, at least, a few friends among the journalists
of that city. He returned to work upon the Times, and published
some of the daintiest bits of dialect humor ever given to the public.
By a strange coincidence his last published lines were written upon
the subject of his own grave. They appeared in the New Orleans
Times, December 14th, just ten days before the author gave up the
struggle with fate and died.
THE CEMETERY.

“I stand within this solemn place,

And think of days gone by—
I think of many an old-time face,
Here’s where those faces lie,

“I think of when, what time God please,

The hour shall came to me,
That covered with the clay, like these,
My face shall masked be.

“No marble monument shall rise

Above that grave of mine—
No loving friends will wipe their eyes
When life I shall resign.

“But when I leave my life—have left

My every present care—
I’ll find a home of care bereft;
My friends are living there.

The New Orleans Times, in speaking of Irwin Russell, after his

death, said of him: “He was employed occasionally on this paper,
and while so, wrote many a pretty little poem, and many a little
catch which reveal an inner life, which hard lines hid from the view
of the world. His fund of humor showed itself best in dialect writing,
and some things he has written have already found permanent
resting places in the compiled editions of American humorous verse.”
For several years Irwin Russell was an interesting and valued
contributor to Scribner’s Monthly, and some of his poems have
appeared since his death, in The Century. The productions were
mostly of the negro dialect order, and occasionally they consisted of
Irish sketches in verse. About the last thing published was an Irish
dialect poem, entitled Larry’s on the Force, which appeared in The
Century. The poem tells in the fourth verse of Larry’s appearance as
a policeman:

“He shtips that proud and shtately-loike, you’d think he owned the town,
And houlds his shtick convenient to be tappin’ some wan down—
Aich blissed day, I watch to see him comin’ up the sthrate,
For by the greatest bit of luck, our house is on his bate.”

Russell’s crowning effort was a piece of dialect verse entitled The

First Banjo. It appeared in Scribner’s, and is worthy of reprint here:
THE FIRST BANJO.

Go ’way fiddle!—folks is tired o’ hearin’ you a-squawkin’.

Keep silence fur yo’ betters—don’t you heah de banjo talkin’?
About de ’possum’s tail she’s gwine to lecter—ladies, listen!—
About de ha’r what isn’t dar, an’ why de ha’r is missin’.

“Dar’s gwine to be an oberflow,” said Noah, lookin’ solemn—

For Noah tuk the Herald, an’ he read de ribber column—
An’ so he sot his hands to work a-cl’arin’ timber-patches,
An’ ’lowed he’s gwine to build a boat to beat de steamah “Natchez.”

Ol’ Noah kep’ a-nailin’, an’ a-chippin’, an’ a-sawin’;

An’ all de wicked neighboirs kep’ a-laughin’ an’ a-pshawin’;
But Noah didn’t min’ ’em—knowin’ what wuz gwine to happen;
An’ forty days and forty nights de rain it kept a-drappin’.

Now, Noah had done cotched a lot ob ebery sort o’ beas’es—

Ob all de shows a-trabbelin’ it beat ’em all to pieces!
He had a Morgan colt, an’ sebral head o’ Jarsey cattle—
An’ drew ’em ’board de ark as soon’s he heared de thunder rattle.

Den sech anoder fall ob rain!—it come so awful hebby

De ribber riz immegitly, an’ bursted troo de lebbee;
De people all wuz drownded out—’cept Noah an’ de critters,
An’ men he’d hired to work de boat—an’ one to mix de bitters.

De ark she kep’ a-sailin’, an’ a-sailin’, an’ a-sailin’;

De lion got his dander up, an’ like to bruk de palin’—
De sarpints hissed—de painters yelled—tell—what wid all de fussin’,
You c’u’d’n’t hardly heah de mate a-bossin’ roun’ an’ cussin’.

Now, Ham, de only niggar what wuz runnin’ on de packet,

Got lonesome in de barber-shop, and c’u’dn’t stan’ de racket;
An’ so, for to amuse he-self, he steamed some wood an’ bent it,
An’ soon he had a banjo made—de fust dat wuz invented.

He wet de ledder, stretched it on; made bridge, an’ screws, an’ apron;
An’ fitted in a proper neck—’twas bery long and tap’rin’;
He tuk some tin and twisted him a thimble for to ring it;
An’ den de mighty question riz: how wuz he gwine to string it?

De ’possum had as fine a tail as dis dat I’s a singin’;

De ha’r’s so long, an’ thick, an’ strong—jes’ fit for banjo stringin’—
Dat niggar shaved ’em off as short as washday dinner graces;
An’ sorted ob ’em by de size, from little E’s to basses.

He strung her, tuned her, struck a jig—’twas Nebber Min’ de Wedder—

She soun’ like forty-lebben bands a-playin’ all togedder;
Some went to pattin’, some to dancin’; Noah called de figgers—
An’ Ham he sot an’ knocked de tune, de happiest ob niggars!

Now, sence dat time—it’s mighty strange—dere’s not de slightest showin’.

Ob any ha’r upon de cunnin’ ’possum’s tail a-growin’;
An’ curi’s too—dat nigger’s ways; his people nebber los’ ’em—
For, whar you finds de niggar, dar’s de banjo an’ de possum!
 JOHN H. WILLIAMS.

Mr. J. H. Williams, better known as “the Norristown Herald man,” is

one of the few successful latter-day humorists. He was born in
Montgomery county, Pennsylvania, and after a few years of common
school education, he located in Norristown, a lively town of the
Keystone State, serving an apprenticeship as a printer’s devil. In
1860 he began writing for the New York Mercury over the signature
of “B. Dadd.” About this time he also produced a series of letters
signed “A. Ward, Jr.,” which, by the way, were excellent imitations,
and were widely copied, some papers dropping the Jr. and crediting
them to Artemus Ward himself. For several years Williams resided in
Wilmington, Delaware, but in 1871 he returned to Norristown and
became attached to the Herald. Williams is considered one of the
most rollicking writers on the American press. He is still a young
man and has been married for several years. He forbade my writing
a biography for him and begged of me to allow him to compose his
own “obituary,” as he is pleased to call it. Here is what he wrote:
“My Dear Mr. Clemens:
“A man’s biography auto always be written by himself. A disinterested
party is liable to omit some of the facts. A personal history should
above all things be truthful—devoid of fulsomeness, and embrace all
the important events of its subject’s life, good or bad. Too many
biographers lie like a patent medicine advertisement. This is to be
regretted.
“My memory is too treacherous to write my own life anyhow. I have
been informed that I was present on the occasion of my birth, but I
haven’t the slightest recollection of it—as some one has previously
remarked.
“I am older—am uglier—than I was two score years ago.
“Then, young ladies would chuck me under the chin and gushingly
exclaim: “B’ess its purty ’ittle heart.”
“Now—they don’t.
“And I am rather glad of it, for the aforesaid young ladies must be
nearly sixty years old now, and some of them wear glasses and
decayed teeth. If I had time, dear reader, I could tell you how, in
1492, under the nom de plume of Christopher Columbus, I discovered
America. This is a fact not generally known. Sometimes it seems like a
wild, weird dream. You may have read something about the discovery.
It was considered important at the time; but more than one person,
no doubt, upon looking around and seeing the distressing amount of
misery in America, and observing how bogus mining companies,
policy shops, rowing matches, political corruption and other frauds
flourish like a green baize, will regret that I ever discovered it.
“I have one wife.
“I could, if my other duties permitted, describe how, in 1773, I
surrounded thirty-two wild Indians, and after a hand-to-hand conflict
lasting seven hours, I killed twenty-four of the redskins, wounded
sixteen, and took eleven prisoners. The remainder fled. Aside from
being pierced by twenty-one arrows, I escaped without a scratch.
“And yet I was never made the hero of a dime novel! Probably
because I didn’t wear long hair and a soft hat as big around as a cart
wheel.
“I am not addicted to bicycle riding—and therefore still retain the
respect of my neighbors.
“If it was not my hour to go out and see a man, it would afford me
great pleasure to allude to the day that I landed at Plymouth Rock,
with a lot of pilgrims, without any “rocks” in my pocket. I shall never
do it again.
“I never wrote a comic opera.
“This assertion, if made public, would be received with an air—or
rather a tornado of incredulity. It would be accepted as a wild,
reckless piece of exaggeration. And yet it is a positive fact.
“I shall not refer to the time I fell at Bunker Hill—caused by stepping
on a banana skin,—nor mention the fact that I once struck a
gentleman called Billy Patterson. I forgot the date of the latter event;
but I desire to say in extenuation that Mr. Patterson struck me first.
And yet he had the facial prominence to sue me for assault and
battery. However, the grand jury ignored the bill, and saddled the cost
upon the plaintiff.
“I have never—never, understand, without any ‘hardly’ qualification
about it—lectured.
“My wife has, to an audience of one.
“I don’t suppose it would interest the general public to know that,
about sixty years ago, while at breakfast, I was blown up with
dynamite, by a party of enraged subscribers of our paper. Their
provocation was great, but I think they were a little too impetuous, as
it were. In an unguarded moment, I printed the alleged pun, ‘What
did the corn-brake?’ and thousands of our subscribers nearly lost their
reason trying to discover the joke, which they naturally thought must
lurk therein. About fifty of them arose in their might,—and dynamite,
—and elevated things. I lost two arms and two legs. But this was not
the worst. A religious weekly chromo was irreparably ruined. Perhaps
I should explain that the arms and legs belonged to a chair and a
table, respectively.
“This little incident effectually cured me of punning in print. I have not
made a joke since.
“I invented the ‘fifteen puzzle,’ but I would rather not have this piece
of imprudence made known until I get my life heavily insured.
“Since 1850 I have killed my grandmother, burned an orphan asylum,
embezzled fifty thousand dollars, and committed arson. These facts
came out soon after I was nominated for a political office. They came
out in an opposition paper. They always do; and the only way to
prevent their appearance is to buy the paper—or its editor.
“I have never been in jail or in Congress—though there may be worse
people in both pla—. But, as I remarked at the outset, I am compelled
to forego the pleasure of sending you a biographical sketch. I suppose
my esteemed friend, Eli Perkins, would write one for me for a mere
pittance, but I would rather journey through life without a biography
to my back, than to have one that does not breathe the spirit of truth,
in every line—truth that is neither warped nor bent—sweet, pure,
undefiled truth that will wash.
“Yours, etc.,
J. H. Williams.”
 JAMES M. BAILEY.

Albany, New York, claims Mr. James M. Bailey, of the Danbury News,
as her offspring. The boyhood days of the Danbury News man were
characterized by nothing unusual or exciting. At an early age he left
school and sought a situation in a grocery store. As a grocer, James
proved an utter failure, and without hesitation left his newly found
occupation, and soon after took to the law, building air castles of a
great and glorious future.
Not satisfied, however, with the fullness of his money coffers, Bailey
deserted the law to seek a more profitable business. He gave up all
professional desires and turned mechanic, serving two long years as
a carpenter. But in 1862 the war of the Rebellion again changed his
occupation, and Bailey, with all the patriotism of an American youth,
enlisted as a private in the Seventh regiment of Connecticut
volunteers. For three years he fought with a desperation only
equalled by his desperate attempts at producing puns, in after years.
In the early part of 1866 Bailey, in company with T. Donovan,
purchased the Danbury (Connecticut) Times. In 1870 the firm
purchased the only opposition paper in the town, and named the
result of the combination the Danbury News. In 1873 Bailey made a
trip to California, and in April of the next year went to Europe, where
he remained until 1875. During these travels he wrote constantly for
his paper, and by so doing acquired the title of “the Danbury News
Man.”
In 1873 Bailey issued, through the Boston house of Lee & Shepard,
his first volume of humorous sketches, under the caption of Life in
Danbury. The book had a tremendous sale for several years, and
fully fifty thousand copies were sold. In the fall of the same year he
produced an almanac, the first and last work of the kind he ever
published.
As a lecturer Bailey has never been a great success. Perhaps if he
had entered the lecture field in 1874, at which time he was far more
popular than at any time during his life, he would have realized a
small fortune from his lectures. But as a speaker he never made the
name he has acquired through his writings. In 1877, They all Do It
was issued and so well was the volume received that the Danbury
News Man’s name again became a household word. Another work
which appeared in 1879, also became quite popular. It was entitled
Mr. Phillips’ Goneness.
Bailey’s first humorous paragraph appeared in the News in 1872,
and, by January of the next year, his productions were being
published in almost every paper in the country. About this time a
special edition of the News was issued for general circulation
throughout the country. It took exceedingly well for several years,
but was discontinued about two years ago. Bailey has acquired his
fame and fortune through his own endeavors and struggles in the
world. He is a self-made man in every respect. He is quite
prepossessing in his personal appearance, his manner is dignified
and pleasing, his demeanor modest and unassuming, and his
countenance honest and frank. In his face there is nothing to note
his humor, save the merry, bright, and unmistakable twinkle of the
eye.
Some time ago an entertainment was given in New York, in honor of
Robert J. Burdette, of the Burlington Hawkeye. To W. A. Croffut, who
gave the entertainment, the Danbury News Man wrote the following
letter of request:
“My Dear Croffut:—Your invitation received, and I thank you heartily
for it, while I regret that I am unable to accept it. Age and the cares
of life (I have two of the puzzles) are giving me away, and prevent me
from taking a journey to your city. Besides we are getting ready to
move, and my wife feels that much of the symmetry of the
performance would be lost, if I were not here to permeate it with my
presence. One of our carpets is so worn that it could hardly be trusted
in the hands of a stranger, and it will be necessary for me to shake it
in person. This I cannot very well avoid, or I would. Confidentially, my
desire to be here is to prevent the removal to the new house of about
two tons of old rubbish that no one but a woman would think of
carting around. You are married and will understand me. Give my
regards to the guest of the evening, and tell him that I hope to have
the pleasure some time of taking him by the hand.
“Yours sincerely,
J. M. Bailey.”
 CHARLES H. SMITH.

Charles H. Smith (Bill Arp) is one of the oldest of living humorists.

Under the nom de plume of Bill Arp he has given the world some
very rich things in the way of humor, and the columns of the Atlanta
(Georgia) Constitution, have, during the past few years, teemed with
his witty, sparkling letters. Bill Arp is known all over the South, and
in many of the Gulf States his reputation is equal to that of Mark
Twain.
Mr. Smith lives in a retired manner at his country-seat near
Cartersville, Georgia. From this rural retreat, he writes me of his life
as follows:
“Speaking as though I was another fellow, let me say that—Major
Charles H. Smith was born in Lawrenceville, Georgia, June 15, 1826—
that is to say, the ‘major’ part was not born then, though I suppose he
was born all at once, but the title, the prefix, the dignity I mean,
wasn’t born to him until June, 1861, when he was knighted by Jeff
Davis, and assigned to the staff of Colonel Barton, with aspirations
more sanguine than sanguinary. The Major used to be a ‘peace
colonel,’ but was reduced to a war major, for you must know that
these peace colonels abounded in the land. There was no harm in
them, and the title signified only a patriotic devotion to the political
fortunes of the governor—that is, the commander in chief.
“You must know, if you do not, that Georgia boasted of an army and
navy in the good old times. The navy was altogether imaginary,
picturesque, esthetic, and did not muster nor parade; but the army
was a fact, and was mobilized twice a year, not in corpses, or cores,
or whatever you call them, but in brigades and regiments, in each
county, and as the commander in chief could not be in every county
at the same time to review his ‘meelish,’ he had to attend by proxy,
therefore he appointed a proxy in every county, with the rank of
colonel. This honor when conferred was intended as a kind of
mucilage that cemented the donee to the donor, and the donee was
expected to cry ‘encore’ if the donor wanted to be re-elected to the
gubernatorial chair. Parties were pretty equally balanced in Georgia,
and every time we had a new governor we had a new set of colonels,
say an hundred or more, on the average, every two or four years.
This is how we boasted of so many peace colonels, for when a man
once got the title he kept it, no matter if he didn’t keep the office. All
this is to explain how Major Smith came to be a colonel under
Governor Howell Cobb, and was afterwards reduced to his present
rank. He says he really prefers the minor title to the major, for it is
based on a war footing, and besides, the ladies have a way of saying
‘major’ with a softer and sweeter inflection than they used to say
colonel.
“The Major was born and bred as usual, but his singular parentage is
to be made a note of. His father was a Massachusetts man, and his
mother a native of Charleston. This combination was happy enough in
itself, but developed in the ‘boy’ a disposition to fits of passion, on
which occasions he used to bite himself and bump his head against
the door, but his good mother always said he couldn’t help it, for it
was South Carolina fighting Massachusetts.
“The Major’s father was a merchant, and as the boy grew up he
trained him to trade and traffic behind the counter. Later in life he
sent him to a manual labor institute, where the boys were expected to
pay for their board by working in the field three hours every day.
Presumptuous expectation! It generally took the boys about three
hours to find their tools and get ready for work. Link pins were stolen,
and by the time the wagon reached the field the wheel came off.
When the overseer was watching one squad another slipped off to the
creek to go in bathing, and so in due time the school collapsed. The
‘boy’ was next initiated into the mysteries of riding the mail to a
neighboring village. This was not considered a very elegant or
aristocratic occupation. The steed was a kind of equine dromedary,
and jogged along at his leisure without regard to whip or spur. The
monotony of this employment became very monotonous to the boy,
and gave him abundant leisure for mental exercise.
“There is nothing romantic or thrilling about riding an old-fashioned
mail—nothing like the long express across the plains that Mark Twain
has so bewitchingly described in Roughing It; no fleet-footed
mustang, no ’ostler standing with another ready at the station, no
running against time, no passing returning post-boys with a smile and
a salute, no nothing but an occasional old woman coming to the fence
with a pair of socks she wanted to send to town to exchange for
indigo or copperas, and as she looked over her spectacles inquired
‘Are you the mail boy?’ The youth sometimes looked smilingly at her
as he replied: ‘Why—yes—mam, you didn’t think I was a female boy,
did you?’
“In due time the boy graduated at this business, and his father sent
him to college. He had as good a time there as is usual. He made
many pleasant acquaintances, some lasting friendships, and a love or
two, and at the close of his career married a daughter of Judge
Hutchins. He next studied law with the judge, and after his admission
to the bar, removed to Rome, Georgia, and founded a partnership
with Judge Underwood, a gentleman noted for his ability, both as a
judge and a statesman. This partnership was pleasant and profitable.
It was obliged to be profitable as a matter of necessity, for it
continued until there were a score of children in the two families, and
paternal ancestors knew but little of economy, or its prudence of
laying up money for a rainy day.
“Prior to the war Major Smith had frequently indulged his inclinations
for humorous and critical observations on men and measures, but it
was not until the spring of 1861 that his peculiar genius found a field
rich enough to harvest in. The famous proclamation of President
Lincoln, ordering the people of the rebellious South to ‘cease their
turbulent demonstrations and to disband their military companies, and
disperse and retire to their homes, within thirty days, under penalty of
being arrested and tried for treason,’ seemed very ludicrous and
absurd to the hot bloods of the South, who really felt like they could
whip all the world and the rest of mankind, and so the Major
burlesqued it in his way as though he was an unlettered countryman
who wanted to disperse but couldn’t. He said he ‘had done his
darndest to disperse, but the boys were so hot that when you
throwed water on ’em they sizzed, and that was the way they was
making up their companies.’ If a boy ‘sizzed’ they took him, and if he
didn’t, they didn’t, and he respectfully asked ‘Mr. Linkhorn’ for a little
more time.
“The Major read his manuscript to two or three friends in his office,
and at the conclusion noticed that the original Bill Arp stood at the
door a listener.
“Bill’s merry eyes seemed to enjoy it, and he came forward with a
query, ‘Colonel,’ said he, ‘are you gwine to print that?’
“‘I think I will, Bill,’ said he.
“‘What name are you gwine to put to it?’ said Bill.
“‘I don’t know, Bill,’ said he.
“‘Well, put mine, by golly; for them’s my sentiments,’ said Bill, and so
Bill Arp’s name was put to please him, and it was thus that the nom
de plume was acquired. This same Bill Arp kept a ferry near Rome,
and was so fond of hearing lawyers talk that he would slip off from his
ferry during court week and stay all day in the court house, or he
would frequent their office just to get into good company. He was
wholly unlettered, could neither read nor write, but had a good
mother wit of his own, and was never considered an interloper by any
sociable crowd. He was wont to say that every poor man ought to be
tackled on to a rich one; that he belonged to Colonel Johnston, and
didn’t want a better master. He was asked one day who he was going
to vote for, and says he: ‘I don’t know, till I see Colonel Johnston, and
he won’t know, till he see Judge Underwood, and the Judge won’t
know till he hears from Alexander Stephens, but who in the dickens
tells Alec Stephens, I’ll be dogged if I know.’
“Bill Arp joined the army with the Major, in the same command, on
June 8, 1861. Bill lost two sons in the conflict, but got through safe
himself, and lived until 1878. Peace to his ashes.
“In 1866 Major Smith was unanimously chosen to represent his
district as State Senator, and was made chairman of the financial
committee. This is the only official dignity he has borne, and this was
wholly unsought. In 1877 he retired from his profession to the more
peaceful and congenial pursuit of tilling the soil, and seems extremely
happy in his communion with nature and the quiet seclusion of his
family from the follies and cares of society life. He has ten living
children, and has a lot of grandchildren coming on, whose greatest
delight is to go to grandpa’s and play in the branch and catch
minnows, ride the colts, and hunt hens’ nests, and fish all the day
long. The Major says a grandparent has no business living in town, on
a half-acre lot, for it is no pleasure to the grandchildren to visit him
and grandma in a pent up Utica or a Rome either. They want latitude
and longitude, so let grandparents move into the country, where the
little chaps can come and go, and spread out and ‘holler,’ and be
happy. Solomon says that children’s children are the glory of a man,
and there is nothing better to work for than glory.”
In a recent letter to the author of this volume Major Smith tells a
funny story in his own peculiar style. He says:
“Speaking of children, reminds me of Dr. Johnston, and so I must tell
you that I spent a few days last winter with General Loring, who was
born and bred a soldier. He was in the cavalry service in the far West
with Fremont and Carson all his youth, next in the confederate army
as a major-general, and next as chief of the Khedive’s army in Egypt.
He returned laden with glory and honors, and fine clothes. He had his
servant man to dress in the Khedive’s jeweled suit for my inspection.
He showed me his portfolio of splendid engravings, and photographs
of all the notable things in the old world. Every few pages we would
come to the photo of a beautiful woman, and he would carelessly
remark: ‘Only a lady friend of mine.’ The General is a bachelor of
some sixty years, and I so much admired his conversation, I ventured
to say that he ought to write a book of his travels and exploits, and
reminded him what Dr. Johnston said to Boswell: ‘Every man owes
something to posterity, a debt that he can and ought to pay. He
should do one or more of three things. Plant a tree, the shade of
which, or the fruit of which would pleasure him, or write a book, the
sentiments of which would benefit him, or—get a child that would be
an honor to the human race.’
“‘Now, General,’ said I, ‘Have you ever written a book?’
“‘No,’ said he.
“‘Have you ever planted a tree?’
“‘Never,’ said he.
“‘Have you ever begotten a child?’
“‘None to speak of,’ said he.”
 A. MINER GRISWOLD.

Alphonso Miner Griswold was born near Utica, Oneida county, New
York, January 26, 1834. His youth was spent in the usual way, and in
1856 he graduated at Hamilton college, with more or less honor. It
was not until November, 1857, that “Gris” entered the journalistic
world by accepting a position as reporter on the Buffalo Daily Times,
then owned and edited by the late Henry W. Faxen. When the Times
was merged into the Republic, Griswold transferred his talents to the
latter sheet.
In May, 1858, Griswold began writing under the nom de plume of
“The Fat Contributor.” His humor was racy and original, and he was
classed among the leading fun makers of the day. He went to Detroit
in the autumn of 1858, and accepted a position on the Advertiser. A
year later he removed his talents to Cleveland, where he labored in
the office of the Plain Dealer, published by Hon. W. W. Armstrong.
He succeeded Artemus Ward as assistant editor, and during the early
part of the war he wrote many patriotic and ringing editorials. After
a brief season on the Cleveland Leader, “Gris” removed to Cincinnati,
and in 1863 became a member of the staff of the Evening Times,
which position he continued to hold for nearly ten years.
In the latter part of 1872, in company with others, he began the
publication of the Cincinnati Saturday Night, a journal which now
enjoys a prosperous existence. He became the sole proprietor of the
paper in 1874, and was for some years assisted in his labors by his
wife, a lady of numerous scholarly attainments.
Griswold resides in a quiet, out-of-the-way street, just off the busy
thoroughfares of the Queen City of the West, and lives in a retired,
happy manner. During later years he has occasionally made a lecture
tour, delivering his famous lecture, Injun Meal, and others to
delighted audiences.
Artemus Ward and Griswold were the best of friends, and the “Fat
Contributor” tells many anecdotes of his experience in the world
alongside of Browne. Speaking of Artemus Ward, in a humorous
way, Griswold once said in a humorous article:
“When, in 1863, Ward conceived the idea of making a lecture tour
through California—a great undertaking in those days—he offered me,
to accompany him as agent, a salary that would cause the
insignificant pay of a Cleveland local to blush with shame. Not
knowing that lecturers, and especially humorists, have a way of
engaging every man as agent who professes a desire to travel, I
made all preparations to go, resigned my situation, and anxiously
awaited my summons.
As I waited, various articles were sold to pay expenses. I ate my stove
I remember, and I think I drank up my bureau. At length, when nearly
everything had gone, I believe that Ward had gone, too, taking
another agent. I was naturally incensed, and resolved that there
would be a severe settlement when next we met. I rehearsed the
anticipated scene frequently, and resolved how I would go to work
and annihilate him.
“Our meeting was in New York in July, 1864. I had heard of his return
from California, and prepared to empty the vials of wrath upon his
head. We accidentally ran against each other on Broadway. My
slumbering indignation flamed up at once. I thought of the cooking
stove I had devoured, and the various articles of household furniture I
drank up, and was about to go for him when Ward suddenly rushed
forward, and, grasping me warmly by the hand, exclaimed:
“‘Why, Gris., old boy, how are you? When did you get back from
California?’
“As I looked at him, speechless with amazement, he continued: ‘They
told me you came home around the “horn,” but I never knew you to
go around a horn yet—join me!’
“Now Ward had a very persuasive way of locking his arm in with
another’s, and in a momentary fit of weakness, I went along.
“‘Ward!’ said I sternly, ‘I owe you a licking on account of the California
agency business, but will put it off until we drink.’
“‘Put it off as long as you want to,’ replied Ward, in a tone of generous
accommodation, as though I was speaking about returning him a
loan. ‘If you owe me a licking, pay me when you get ready. I am in no
hurry. Don’t care if you never pay it.’
“Numerous were the unavailing efforts that I made to bring Ward to a
settlement. When I would commence: ‘Now, Artemus, how about that
California business?’ he would interrupt—‘Oh, never mind that
whipping. No hurry at all. Send it to me through the mail—or
telegraph it. Let’s drink.’
“I have got even with Browne, however, in a measure—I have
engaged a number of agents myself.”
 BILL NYE.

Away out in the wilds of Wyoming Territory, in the fast growing city
of Laramie, dwells one of the most noted funny men of to-day. Bill
Nye is a modest looking name, and at first sight looks like a nom de
plume; yet Bill Nye is the “only and original” of that name. He is a
young man, and has been in the journalistic profession only three or
four years. He began work on the Laramie City Boomerang, and is at
present the managing editor of that publication. The Boomerang is a
newspaper of metropolitan proportions, and issues both daily and
weekly editions.
Bill Nye has, during the past two years, written a larger quantity and
a better quality of first-class, genuine humor, than any other funny
man in America. He is widely quoted, and has issued one book
entitled, Bill Nye and his Mule Boomerang. This volume was issued in
Chicago in 1881, and had a tremendous sale. Like others of his
class, Nye is modest, and prefers to relate to the awaiting world his
own misfortunes, in his own peculiar style. He writes as follows:
“My Dear Clemens: I herein make a few brief statements, which you
are at liberty to enlarge upon in such a way as to give my life that
odor of holy calm and unblemished smirchlessness which will sound
well in history.
“I was born on the 25th day of August, A. D., 1850, somewhere in the
State of Maine. I do not remember where. It was either along the
Atlantic seaboard, or on the Kennebec river, and the exact spot has
escaped my memory. As soon as I could walk I left Maine and came
west, where I have been for about thirty years.
“Looking over my whole eventful career, I see nothing to regret,
except the fact that I was born in Maine. Probably the State of Maine
regrets it as much as I do.”
“My early childhood was spent in acquiring knowledge relative to the
habits and movements of the bumble-bee and the water-melon.
“There is nothing in particular, perhaps, to distinguish my youth from
that of other eminent men. I did not study the Greek grammar by the
light of a pine knot when I was a child. I did not think about it. Had I
supposed that I would ever rise to the proud pinnacle of fame, I
might have filled my system full of deceased languages, but as it was,
I thought I was in luck to acquire sufficient education to last me from
one meal to another.
“I did not do any smart things as a child. It remained for later years to
bring out the latent genius and digestive strength which I now
possess. I did not graduate first in my class. I did not rise to
distinction in two weeks. I did not dazzle the civilized world with my
sterling ability. I just plugged along from day to day, and when I had
an afternoon to myself it did not occur to me that I might read
Horace, or Cicero, or the dictionary. I fooled away those priceless
moments carrying water to the elephant, so that I could acquire
information at the circus.
“My journalistic career has been short, but full of interest. Though
only covering a space of three or four years, it has been rich in
amusement and gory personal encounter.
“The West is well known as the home of fearless and deadly
journalism. It brings out all there is in a man and throws him upon his
own resources. It also throws him down stairs if he is not constantly
on his guard.
“I am an attorney by profession and a newspaper man by force of
circumstances. I am married and have been for five years. I do not
regret this step.
“I am six feet high, of commanding appearance, and would be
selected in any audience as a man who would not rob an overland
train while there was anyone looking.
“I am in robust health, with the exception of a corn, which I inherited
from the old stock of Nyes, who first invaded the free lunch counters
of Skouhegan, Maine.
“To any one who is curious to investigate my career while in the West,
I would say that I cheerfully refer them to any vigilance committee of
this section.
“If I can throw any more light on this delicate topic, or should the
public care for a fuller diagnosis, I am always at your service.
Bill Nye.
 “Laramie City, Wyoming, January 27, 1882.”

There is no doubt that during later years Bill Nye has been more
extensively copied than any other humorist of the day. Among the
hundreds of good things he has produced, I select a few of the most
touching and pathetic:
THE ENGLISH JOKE.
The average English joke has its peculiarities. A sort of mellow
distance, a kind of chastened reluctance, a coy and timid, yet trusting,
though evanescent intangibility which softly lingers in the troubled air,
and lulls the tired senses to dreamy rest, like the subdued murmur of
a hoarse jackass about nine miles up the gulch. He must be a
hardened wretch indeed, who has not felt his bosom heave and the
scalding tears steal down his furrowed cheek after he has read an
English joke. There can be no hope for the man who has not been
touched by the gentle, pleading, yet all potent, sadness embodied in
the humorous paragraph of the true Englishman. One may fritter
away his existence in chasing follies of our day and generation, and
have naught to look back upon but a choice assortment of robust
regrets, but if he will stop in his mad career to read an English pun,
his attention will be called to the solemn thought that life is, after all,
but a tearful journey to the tomb. Death and disaster on every hand
may fail to turn the minds of a thoughtless world to serious matters,
but when the London funny man grapples with a particularly skittish
and evasive joke, with its weeping willow attachment, and hurls it at a
giddy and reckless humanity, a prolonged wail of anguish goes up
from broken hearts and a sombre pall hangs in the gladsome sky like
a pair of soldier pants with only one suspender.
MR. NYE EMBARRASSED.
There was an entertainment at Laramie a few evenings ago, at which
the guests appeared in such costumes as their taste suggested. The
following will give some idea of the occasion:
Mr. Nye wore a Prince Albert coat with tails caught back with red
jeans, and home made sunflowers. He also wore a pair of velvet knee
breeches, which, during the evening, in an unguarded moment, split
up the side about nine feet. This, together with the fact that one of
his long black stockings got caught on the top of a window cornice,
tearing a small hole in it, letting out the saw-dust and baled hay with
which he was made up, seemed to cast a gloom over the
countenance of this particular guest. With one large voluptuous calf,
and the other considerably attenuated, Mr. Nye seemed more or less
embarrassed.
 JOSEPH C. NEAL.

A series of humorous descriptive articles, known as Charcoal

Sketches, appeared in 1837 in a Philadelphia newspaper. They
became famous, and for years their author was noted as a leading
American humorist. Joseph C. Neal, the author of the Charcoal
Sketches, was born on the third day of February, 1807, in the town
of Greenland, New Hampshire. His father had for many years been
the principal of a popular academy in Philadelphia, but his health
failing him, he was compelled to retire to a country residence at
Greenland, where, along with his other duties, he officiated as
pastor in the Congregational church of the village.
When the subject of this sketch was two years old his father died,
and the family soon after removed to Philadelphia, and thence to
Pottsville, in the same State. Mr. Neal resided here until 1831, when
he settled in Philadelphia, and assumed the duties of editor of the
Pennsylvanian, a journal which became very popular, and
conspicuous for its influence on the political character of the State. It
was in the office of this journal that the elder James Gordon Bennett
passed a portion of his early years in journalism.
For nearly ten years Mr. Neal devoted his talents to the
Pennsylvanian, but at length his health failed him, and in 1841 he
went abroad, traveling in Europe and Africa for nearly two years. In
1844 he retired from the editorial chair of the Pennsylvanian, and
established in the autumn of the same year a weekly literary
miscellany, under the title of Neal’s Saturday Gazette. Neal’s
reputation as a writer secured for the Gazette an immediate and
continued success.
Joseph C. Neal’s humorous sketches of that character for which he
afterwards became distinguished, first appeared in the
Pennsylvanian under the title of “City Worthies.” These sketches
were reprinted and praised in hundreds of American newspapers. In
1837 he published Charcoal Sketches, or Scenes in a Metropolis. In
these sketches he drew from life a class of characters peculiar to the
lower classes and disreputable haunts in large cities. The
appearance of the sketches in book form was hailed with delight,
and several large editions were readily disposed of. The work was
also republished in London under the auspices of Charles Dickens,
who took a great interest in the American humorist and his works.
In 1844 Mr. Neal issued his second book, Peter Ploddy and Other
Oddities, and soon after, another and newer series of Charcoal
Sketches. Both of these books commanded a large and ready sale.
Neal continued to edit the Saturday Gazette until July 3, 1848, when
he died very suddenly at his home in Philadelphia, of a complication
of diseases. His widow published a second and revised edition of his
works some years after his death.
Soon after his death, R. W. Griswold, in his Prose Writers of America,
said of Mr. Neal: “He writes as if he had little or no sympathy with
his creations, and as if he were a calm spectator of acts and actors,
whimsical or comical,—an observer rather by accident than from
desire.... His style is compact and pointed, abounding in droll
combinations and peculiar phrases, which have the ease and
naturalness of transcripts of real conversations. He had too much
good nature to be caustic, and too much refinement to be coarse. In
some of his sketches he exhibits not only a happy faculty for the
burlesque, and singular skill in depicting character, but a generality
and heartiness of appreciation which carry the reader’s feelings
along with his fancy.”
The following selection from Peter Ploddy will tend to show Mr.
Neal’s peculiar style of writing:
“‘Common people, Billy—low, common people, can’t make it out when
nature raised a gentleman in the family—a gentleman all complete,
only the money’s been forgot. If a man won’t work all the time—day
in and day out—if he smokes by the fire, or whistles out of the winder,
the very gals bump agin him, and say, “Git out of the way, loaf!”
“‘But, Billy, my son, never mind, and keep not a lettin’ on,” continued
Nollikens, and a beam of hope irradiated his otherwise Saturnine
countenance; “the world’s a railroad, and the cars is comin’—all we’ll
have to do is to jump in, chalked free. There will be a time—
something must happen. Rich widders are about yet, though they are
snapped up so fast. Rich widders, Billy, are “special providences,” as
my old boss used to say when I broke my nose in the entry, sent here
like rafts to pick up deservin’ chaps when they can’t swim no longer.
When you’ve bin down twy’st, Billy, and are jist off agin, then comes
the widder afloatin’ along. Why, splatter docks is nothin’ to it, and a
widder is the best of all life-preservers, when a man is most a case,
like you and me.’
“‘Wall, I’m not perticklar, not I, nor never was. I’ll take a widder, for
my part, if she’s got the mint drops, and never ask no questions. I’m
not proud—never was harrystocratic—I drinks with anybody, and
smokes all the cigars they give me. What’s the use of bein’ stuck up,
stiffy? It’s my principle that other folks are nearly as good as me, if
they’re not constables nor aldermen. I can’t stand them sort.’
“‘No, Billy,’ said Nollikens, with an encouraging smile, ‘no, Billy, such
indiwidooals as them don’t know human natur’—but, as I was agoin
to say, if there happens to be a short crop of widders, why can’t
somebody leave us a fortin?—that will do as well if not better. Now
look here—what’s easier than this? I’m standin’ on the wharf—the rich
man tries to go aboard of the steamboat—the niggers push him off
the plank—in I jumps, ca-splash! The old gentleman isn’t drowned;
but he might have been drowned but for me, and if he had a bin,
where’s the use of his money then? So he gives me as much as I want
now, and a great deal more when he defuncts riggler, accordin’ to law
and the practice of civilized nations. You see—that’s the way the thing
works. I’m at the wharf every day—can’t afford to lose a chance, and
I begin to wish the old chap would hurry about comin’ along. What
can keep him?’
“‘If it ’ud come to the same thing in the end,’ remarked Billy Bunkers,
‘I’d rather the niggers would push the old man’s little boy into the
water, if it’s all the same to him. Them fat old fellers are so heavy
when they’re skeered, and hang on so—why I might get drowned
before I had time to go to the bank with the check! But what’s the
use of waitin’? Couldn’t we shove ’em in some warm afternoon
ourselves? Who’d know in the crowd?’
“‘I’ve thought of that, Bunkers, when a man was before me who
looked the right sort,—but, Billy, there might be mistakes—perhaps,
when you got him out, he couldn’t pay. What then?’
“‘Why, keep puttin new ones to soak every day, till you fish up the
right one.’
“‘It won’t do,—my friend—they’d smoke the joke—all the riffraff in
town would be pushin’ old gentlemen into the river, and the elderly
folks would have to give up travelin’ by the steamboat. We must wait
till the real thing happens. The right person will be sure to come
along.’
“‘I hope so; and so it happens quick, I don’t much care whether the
old man, his little boy, or the rich widder gets the ducking. I’m not
proud.’
“‘Then you’ll see me come the nonsense over the old folks—who’s
loafer now?—and my dog will bite their cat—who’s ginger pop, and
jam spruce beer, at this present writin’, I’d like to know?’
“Thus, wrapped in present dreams and future anticipations—a king
that is to be—lives Nicholas Nollikens—the grand exemplar of the
corner loungers. Nicholas and his tribe exist but for to-morrow, and
rely firmly on that poetic justice, which should reward those who wait
patiently until the wheel of fortune turns up a prize.”
 GEORGE H. DERBY.

“Before ‘John Phoenix’ there was scarcely any American humorist—

not of the distinctly literary sort—with whom one could smile and
keep one’s self respect,” says William Dean Howells, the novelist, in
a recent magazine article. This may indeed be true, but there were
others in the time of George H. Derby, better known by his nom de
plume of John Phoenix, who were of the same school of humorists,
yet they were far inferior as wits. Derby, had he lived, would have
become perhaps one of the leading humorists of the country. As it
was, he was known to the public as a humorous writer for only a
few years before his death.
George H. Derby was born of poor but well educated parents in
Norfolk county, Massachusetts, in 1823. Little is known of his
boyhood or early life. He entered the West Point military academy
while yet a youth, and graduated from that institution in 1846. The
same year he became engaged in the war with Mexico and
continued in the field during the larger part of the year following. He
was present at the battle of Vera Cruz and Cerro Gordo, and was
made brevet first lieutenant at the former place. He received a
severe wound during the latter engagement. He remained with the
regular army at the close of the war, and was sent upon various
surveys and expeditions from 1847 to 1852. During the two years
following the last named date, Derby was engaged on the
improvement of San Diego, California, harbor, and the next year he
was on the staff of the commanding general and had charge of the
military roads, department of the Pacific. In 1856 he was on the
coast survey, and in the two years following was light-house
engineer.
While sojourning on the Pacific coast Derby first began writing for
the San Francisco papers and magazines. His contributions consisted
mainly of humorous sketches written under the signature of John
Phoenix. These sketches attracted general attention among the
Pacific States, and in 1855 were published in book form under the
title of Phoenixiana, or Sketches and Burlesques. The book was well
received, and ten or twelve editions were exhausted. Four years
later a second volume was issued under the title of Squibob Papers.
This volume also met with a large and ready sale. Early in 1861
Derby took up his residence in New York, and produced a number of
humorous sketches which were never published in book form. He
died suddenly on the 15th of May, 1861, at the age of thirty-eight.
Although young in years and not having reached the acme of his
fame, his work still lives and is recognized as one of the most
prominent species of American humor.
Derby’s humor is something like that of Artemus Ward, yet it is
peculiarly original and is vastly different from the writings of the so-
called funny men of the present day. Among the many good things
from Derby’s pen are the following:
LATE.
Passing by one of our doggeries about 3 a. m. the other morning, from
which proceeded “a sound of revelry by night,” a hapless stranger on
his homeward way paused to obtain a slight refreshment, and to the
host he said: “It appears to me your visitors are rather late to-night.”
“Oh, no,” replied the worthy landlord, “the boys of San Diego
generally run for forty-eight hours, stranger; it’s a little late for night
before last, but for to-night! why, it’s just in the shank of the evening.”
Volumes could not have said more.
FOR SALE.
A valuable law library, lately the property of a distinguished legal
gentleman of San Francisco, who has given up practice and removed
to the Farralone Islands. It consists of one volume of “Hoyle’s Games,”
complete and may be seen at this office.
WANTED.
Back numbers of the Democratic Review, speeches and writings of
Jefferson, Coffroth, Calhoun, Bigler, Van Buren and others. Copies of
the San Joaquin Republican, files of the Times and Transcript (a few
at a time), and a diagram representing the construction of the old
United States bank, for the use of a young man desirous of turning
Democrat. Apply at this office (by firing a gun, or punching on the
ceiling, he being deeply engaged in study in the garret), to
J. Phoenix.
AN EPITAPH.
This is all, but I writ at the time a epitaff which I think is short, and
would do to go over his grave:

Here lies the body of James Hambrick

Who was accidentally shot
On the banks of the Peacus river
By a young man.

He was accidentally shot with one of the large sized Colt’s revolvers
with no stopper for the cock to rest on it was one of the old fashion
kind brass mounted and of such is the kingdom of Heaven.
 GEORGE W. PECK.

A common-sized-mustache-and-goatee young man is George W.

Peck, of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. He is rather a handsome chap, and
just after he has left the barber’s chair he looks for all the world like
a military officer. However, he looks like a common citizen when
Saturday night comes around, and he has not been shaved for
several days. Peck has attained quite a reputation as a humorist,
through the columns of his paper, Peck’s Sun. Though only
established, as a weekly journal with a humorous foundation,
something over two years, the Sun has already a circulation of
twenty thousand copies, and is rapidly increasing.
George W. Peck is a ready writer, and takes more to the narrative
style than paragraphing. His paper is well liked among his fellow
humorists, and is widely quoted. Peck is still a comparatively young
man, and is “fair, fat, and thirty.” He is one of the few newspaper
men who are bashful by nature, as the following letter plainly shows:
“I do not believe the time has arrived when the American people are
consumed with a desire to know where I was born, how old I am, or
any of the particulars of an uneventful life. If I should ever become of
so much importance, which is hardly liable to be the case, while you
and I live, I will resurrect the necessary data from the orphan asylum,
the reform farm, the State prison, and other places of that kind, too
numerous to mention. At the present time I think it is a charity to
spare the people. Whatever you do, please do not call me funny. If
you do, it is very evident that you do not know me.
“Yours truly,
George W. Peck.”
Here is one of Mr. Peck’s recent paragraphs:
“Those who take the Sun take it for the fun there is in it, and we feel
a confounded sight funnier if we are making something than if we are