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Creating Healthy Boundaries

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13 views3 pages

Creating Healthy Boundaries

Uploaded by

as267433
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Creating Healthy Boundaries is very important for Self-care and

Mental Health
When we understand our real self, we try to do the things which are soul replenishing
and try to remove the things which are soul draining. We need to create a boundary for
ourselves by saying yes to the things which make sense and no to things which start to
feel irrelevant.

When the old things start to feel uninteresting, that is the time we must start becoming
vocal about our own needs to do the things which are supporting us in the journey of
self-discovery.

We must start taking a stand for what we believe in lovingly, clearly and honestly saying
no to things and people who are not supporting us in that journey. It may take extra
efforts to do this because we don't want to hurt people. We feel that by saying no to
them we are rejecting or insulting them. We are not doing the things which we used to
do with them before or may not share the same ideology with them.

There is something in us which stops us taking a firm stand for ourselves. We always
want to put others’ needs and comfort others before us. But, in the long run, this
hampers us as well as others. As per Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, we need to put
ourselves right on top in our priority list. When we start dedicating time for our inner
world through self-realization and connecting with God, we start healing ourselves and
learn to come out of misery, pain, sadness and remove dependency from people and
relationships. This gives us a purpose in our life to be happy and to help others to be
happy. It is more important nowadays to be present emotionally for others than
physically.

Healthy boundaries are all about knowing where you end and someone else begins.
They're essential for your personal well-being and help you take back control over your
life.

Build Boundaries not Walls

Sometimes while creating boundaries, unknowingly we create walls, which means that
we may become cold, and apathetic.

There's is a beautiful quote, "If you never heal what hurt you, you'll bleed on people who
didn't cut you".
It is important to heal so that you don't push away people God sent to help you.

Also, we need to understand that if we don't create boundaries, then we will create walls
because the space needed for healing was not there and so we will keep projecting our
failures, frustrations, desperation on others.
In psychology, projection is a defense mechanism where someone attributes their own
thoughts, feelings or traits to another person, animal or object.

Reasons for not setting boundaries

* *Self-critical behavior/feeling of guilt* - Avoiding people or situations because we feel


we may hurt them.

* *Lack of Self Clarity* - Feeling lost or uncertain about your purpose and goals in life.

* *Weak mindset* - Lacking judgement, relying heavily on validation from others, unable
to challenge social conditioning of conformity.

* *Emotional, physical or financial dependency*

How to set boundaries


* *Clear communication* - Expressing yourself accurately especially when speaking
about something that you feel strongly about.

* *Clarity and certainty of self-goals self-purpose*

* *Emotional Intelligence* - Developing the ability to understand, manage and use your
own emotions, as well as understand and influence the emotions of others.

* *Prioritizing Yourself* - Giving some time to yourself to meditate, self-reflect, assess


your needs, seek support, practice saying No. People will not always understand your
needs, so you have to communicate without guilt.

* *Detachment* - Sometimes what you can do best for people is to be away from them
for a while.

* *Sweet Spot in a relationship* - Look for a space in your relationship where you can
benefit from each other without constantly hurting each other.

*Challenges we face when it comes to setting boundaries*

Did you know that over 70% of people feel overwhelmed by demands from others? Do
you feel like you're saying "yes" to everything just to keep the peace? If you do, you're
not alone.

Picture this:
You want to say "No" to a friend who keeps asking for help, but you feel the guilt
creeping in or maybe you're worried that setting a boundary will lead to rejection or
conflict. These fears can keep you stuck in the cycle of people - pleasing. It can feel like
you're constantly bending over backwards to accommodate everyone else, while your
own needs get pushed aside.

Types of boundaries

* *Emotional boundaries* - These help you protect your feelings and not take on others'
emotional baggage.

* *Physical boundaries* - These are all about your personal space and comfort.

* *Time boundaries* - These are like saying no to that last - minute dinner invitation
when you really needed some "me time". Imagine a situation where a colleague keeps
piling work on you, and you feel like you can't say no. That's where setting a boundary
is crucial. It's not just about protecting your time; it's about valuing yourself and your
needs.

Conclusion
Setting healthy boundaries is absolutely essential. They empower you to take control of
your life, protect your time and maintain your mental health. Remember, it's okay to put
yourself first sometimes. The benefits are enormous, like improved relationships and a
stronger sense of self!

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