WAYS TO SAY

I LOVE YOU

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 Digitized by the Internet Archive
in 2011

http://www.archive.org/details/365waystosayilov00dr
365
WAYS TO
SAY I LOVE YOU

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365 Ways to Say I Love You

© Cover photograph left: Getty Images/Bavaria (Jacques Copeau)

Copy editing: MediText, Stuttgart

Text: Christopher Dorries
Translation: Beate Gorman
Photos: Adobe Image Library (17); Creative Collection (3); Digital Stock (5); Digital Vision (2);
MEV (8); Photo Alto (8); PhotoDisc (8); Project Photos (6); Stockbyte (6)

© 2002 DuMont monte Verlag, Koln

(Dumont monte UK, London)

All rights reserved

The advice given in this book has been subjected to careful consideration and examination by the
author, the editors and the publishers; nevertheless, no guarantee can be given. No liability can
be assumed by the author, the editors, the publishers or their agents for personal injury, material
damage or financial loss.

[SBN 3-8320-7098-2
Printed in Slovenia
Contents
The First Declaration of Love 1-75

The Marriage Proposal 76-150

Declarations of Love to Your Partner 151-302

Dear Parents 303-330

My Dearest Child 331-365

The first declaration
of love
When you are in love, you would obviously like the other person to

reciprocate these feelings. But how, if the other person doesn't know that
he or she is the centre of your loving affections? The solution: pluck
up courage and confess your love. Such a first declaration of love can be
done in a multitude of ways, and you will have to decide yourself which
one is the right one for you.
 It is important when making your first declaration of
love that you find just the right words. If the object of your

desire doesn't like poetry, you shouldn't try and declare

your love in the form of a poem. Think carefully what might
impress your beloved.
 For your first declaration of love you should pay

attention to your outer appearance. That doesn't mean

that you can't wear casual and informal clothes, but
you should make sure that your clothes are neat and clean
and that you make a good impression.
 Look for a suitable setting for your declaration of love. While you
are still at school, it might be all right to declare your love to the
object of your desire on the bus or in the street, but when you are a
little older, you should choose a special place if possible. A romantic
restaurant or the beach or park could be such a suitable place.
 In some cases you won't have the
opportunity to choose a suitable place for
your declaration of love - perhaps because
time is of the essence. However, in such
cases you should at least attach importance
to an imaginative and creative declaration.

The best time for a declaration of

love is of course the evening, because
you will have some time for yourselves
afterwards. Of course, you could also
declare your love in the morning, but
remember: if you then have to go your
separate ways, perhaps because you
have to go to the office, it can be very
unsatisfactory for both of you.
 Invite your beloved to dinner in a romantic restaurant
- perhaps for a candlelight dinner? In the glow of the candles
look deeply into her/his eyes. Then simply say "I love you."
There is no need for any further explanation.
 Maybe there are musicians in the restaurant - as is customary
in many southern countries - who will play a love song at the
table if asked to do so. Or you could hire one or two musicians for
a brief appearance (you should, however, ask the manager for

his permission beforehand). Maybe they could play Stevie Wonder's

"I just called to say I love you" or something similarly expressive.
When the last notes have been played and you have your "peace
and quiet" again, you can tell the person opposite that you wanted
to express your feelings for him or her through this song.
 Of course, you could also go to a restaurant where flower
sellers regularly come to the tables. Depending on your financial
situation, you should buy one or all of the red roses and hand

them to your beloved - perhaps with the words, " These flowers
express what I feel for you."
 It is also romantic to declare your love at the
place where you first met - at least if it is a place
that is suitable for a declaration of love. A train
station, for example, might be suitable, but perhaps
not a discotheque, because of the loud music
(unless you can convince the owner to let you in
before the official opening time).

If you declare your love at the place where

you first met, you could indicate the significance
of the moment when you first laid eyes on your
beloved. Of course, you could also say what you
felt if it was love at first sight.
 One thing is very important for your declaration of love: don't stare
at the floor, the ceiling or anywhere else - look straight into the eyes
of the person that you love. Maybe you could also take his or her hand
- this creates an additional physical bond.
 Love starts with the eyes.
(Russian saying)

12
 Of course you could also declare your love at home.
However, this might not be the most suitable place. After
all, it is your very own terrain, and the person you love
might feel uneasy giving you the brush-off at your own place
if he or she does not share your feelings - something that
hopefully will not happen.
 An especially nice way of declaring your love: give the person that
you love a cuddly toy as a present. Attach a letter with the words,

"This bear (or lamb or whatever toy you have chosen) is to be envied.
From now on, it will spend all its time just with you. I would like
to change places with it, but maybe your heart is big enough for both

of us? I love you." Of course, you should be present when the letter
is opened and read.
 Are you already fairly certain that your
feelings are reciprocated, and do you like to
travel? Great! Present your beloved with a
voucher for a weekend trip to Paris, the capital

of love, adding, "If you love me as much as I

love you, we should celebrate our love. And what

better place than the capital of love?"

 Music is another good means of telling

someone "I love you." Record a cassette

with love songs that you especially like and

give it to your beloved with the words, "This

music expresses what you mean to me."
 A declaration of love of a very special kind (only suitable for

people with a sense of humour): first of all, list your beloved's

faults and weaknesses - especially those that he or she has admitted
to. Then show with words (maybe with a quote?) or gestures (for
example, with an ardent kiss) that you love him or her with all his
or her weaknesses and faults.
 He does not love,
who does not consider the faults of his beloved
to be virtues.
(Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

w m
 19
Do you have musical talent? Why not compose and write a love song
for your beloved, record it on cassette and give to him or her as a present?
Maybe you even have the opportunity of copying the song onto a CD.
 A picture you have painted yourself
is bound to be accepted as a wonderful
declaration of love. Of course, the motif
should fit the occasion. For example
you could paint Cupid, the god of love,
hitting you with an arrow bearing the
name of your beloved.

Write a love poem and hand it to

the person you love. Poems might
be perceived as old-fashioned these
days, but if someone goes to the
trouble of writing one, it is always
something special.
 22
A very daring declaration of love: give the object of

your desires an erotic photo of yourself and say, "If you like,
what you see on this photo can be all yours."
 Another declaration of love with a photo: make a collage from
two photos of yourself. On the one picture you should look sad

and on the other very cheerful. Above the first photo write, "This
is how I feel without you," and above the second one, "This is
how I feel when you are near me." Present this declaration of love
personally to your object of desire.

.
 Don't be afraid to declare your love.
You don't need to fear that you will make
a fool of yourself. Even if the other person
brushes you off (which hopefully will not
happen), you can be sure that he or she
will feel flattered and won't laugh at you.
 As a hint, you could give the person you love a love story (such as

"Romeo and Juliet") in which you write a dedication which on the one
hand says something about your feelings, and on the other hand relates

to the novel. In regard to "Romeo and Juliet" this dedication could be,
"This love story ends tragically, but I'm sure this won't happen to ours."
 Younger people might give each other a video with a love story

like "Titanic", for example. You should watch the film together
with your beloved - you will often get close to one another without
the need for words.
 Of course, the cinema is also a suitable place to show the other
person your love. Go and see a romantic film together and during the
love scenes take his or her hand furtively into yours. If the reaction
is positive, you can probably soon hope for the first kiss.
 Have a party. Make sure that at least one slow song is played.
Ask the person you love to dance with you and carefully get
closer to him or her. If the response is positive, you can whisper
your feelings into his or her ear while you are dancing.
 Here's a somewhat unusual idea for declaring
your love: lease a billboard near where your
beloved lives and deliver your message of love
there. A word of advice: make sure beforehand
that the partner of your dreams would appreciate
such a public declaration of love.
 Declare your love to your dream
partner through an advertisement in
the newspaper. It should be placed
amongst the family ads and say what

you feel. If you don't want to make

the real name of your beloved public
you could use his or her nickname.
 Young people with little money could place an ad amongst the
classifieds - almost every newspaper offers a low-price classified ad
market once a week. There is usually a category such as "Family
ads", "Congratulations" or similar where a declaration of love can be
placed. You should, however, make sure that the partner of your
dreams actually reads these ads.
 Declare your love using the words of famous poets. No matter
whether you give the partner of your dreams a love poem in
writing or recite it yourself: the words of famous people are often
more appropriate than our own. So why not make use of them?
 There is no doubt:
Thousands will worship you;
But to love you

- Only my heart can do this.

(Jean-Jacques Rousseau)

I think of you
when the sun
reflects on the sea;
I think of you
when the moonshine
paints its glow in the springs.
(Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)
 For people who like to dress up: look for
a declaration of love in a play, put on the
suitable clothes and recite this declaration of

love to the object of your desires - of course

with the appropriate dramatic gestures!
 At the cinema, regional advertising is often screened
before the main feature. Commission a short spot

(a sign with the words "I love you, ... Yours, ..." is often
enough) and have it screened. Then invite your ideal
partner to the cinema and wait for his or her response.
 For men: buy a piece of jewellery
such as a ring or an attractive necklace
and present it to the woman of your
dreams. Jewellery often tells her what
you feel for her.
 Give Mr. Right one of those kids'
books where drawings and short sentences
describe in a delightful manner how
one rabbit loves the other rabbit, for
example. A short dedication can explain
your feelings, if necessary.
 Hearts are the symbol of love. Bake a cake
in the shape of a heart for him or give her a

gingerbread heart at the local fair. You won't

need many more words to say what you feel.
 For men: shoot down a rose at the
shooting gallery at the fair and hand it
to the woman of your dreams with the
words, "A rose for the most beautiful rose
that I know." Everything else will work
out on its own...

Often the direct way is best with a

declaration of love: simply tell your beloved
- at the right moment - that you would
like to kiss him or her. The response will
show you where you stand.
 For young people: a declaration of love via
SMS can be a good way of expressing your feelings
if you are too afraid to talk directly with your
ideal partner. Maybe you will soon receive an SMS
in return with a similar statement.
 Today, a declaration of love via e-mail isn't necessarily perceived
as a faux pas. You could attach a file to your e-mail with an expressive
piece of music, a fitting cartoon or a photo of yourself. You might
even find the right words for a love letter on the Internet, or you could
have someone else write a love letter for you (of course, it is much better
if you write the letter yourself).
 4

If you're sending a love letter via e-mail, you should only send it to
your beloved's private address. At work, e-mails are unfortunately often
opened by colleagues, and this could be rather embarrassing for the
person of your dreams.
 Another humorous way of declaring your love: have
the following text printed on a T-shirt in your size:
"(beloved's name), I love you!" Wear this shirt the next
time you meet your beloved. Your declaration of love
will be hard to miss!
 You could also show your love with
body painting. Have the following message
written on your torso, arm or any other
place that is visible to the partner of your

dreams: "I love you, (beloved's name)."

Face the other person and wait for his or
her response.

If you like public appearances, you

could ask the DJ at a discotheque if you
could say a brief message over the
microphone. Then explain your love for
him or her for everyone to hear.
 A declaration of love in true regal style: dress
up as a prince or princess and ask your beloved
in old-fashioned words to be your Queen/King of
Hearts and spend your future life together.
 Invite him or her for a trip to the mountains. Look for a quiet
spot with a good echo. Shout out your love so loud that it is
echoed. Make sure it is a nice sunny day - a trip like this is not
very romantic in the rain.
 Even if your knees are trembling, don't give yourself Dutch
courage before your declaration of love. It is not particularly
considerate to declare your love while smelling of alcohol, and
your chance of rejection would only be increased.
 Do you have a talent for drama? Maybe you could present your
declaration of love as a pantomime! You should rehearse this
in front of a mirror so that your declaration will be understandable
to the partner of your dreams.
 A culinary declaration of love, also suitable for
unskilled cooks: invite the person you love for a meal,

cook noodles in the shape of letters and write "I love

you" on the plate. Afterwards you could go somewhere
else for a meal if you wish. But perhaps you will then
have an appetite for something different?
 You could also cook spaghetti and write "I love you" with ketchup
on a separate plate. However, you should also prepare another

sauce because pasta and ketchup are not necessarily everybody's

idea of a gourmet meal.
 Another form of a culinary declaration of love: bake a heart-shaped
cake on which you write with icing, "I love you, (beloved's name)". Present
it to the man or woman of your desire at the next suitable opportunity

(however, other people shouldn't be present then; after all, your love only
concerns you and the partner of your dreams).
 Do you know members of a band or a
choir? Ask them if they would be prepared
to play or sing a serenade at the front
song! house. Of course it
door of your beloved's
should be a love
 Congratulations performed as a song are nothing unusual
these days. There are even service companies that offer this.
Maybe you could employ such a messenger of happiness to have
your declaration of love conveyed as a song.
 Hackneyed, but nevertheless effective: give the partner of your

dreams a large bunch of roses to tell him or her, "I love you!"
Of course, the roses should be red and long-stemmed, if possible.
Do it in style - the bunch should definitely not be too small!
 In a declaration of love, you don't
always need to say the words "I love you.
You could declare your love in a more

poetic way, for example, "I feel more for

you than there are stars in the sky."

More poetic declarations of

love: "You are the only person in

the whole world who is really

important to me", "Without you

my life is dull and grey", "Only
when I am with you does the sun

really shine."
 You can also declare your love without words - with a
tender touch, an affectionate kiss or some action that is
meaningful to the other person. However, this gesture must
be appropriate to the situation, so that the other person
perceives it as it is intended.
 Apart from love at first sight,
there is love at first touch.
This might go deeper still.
(Vladimir Nabokov)
 To love is the delight
Of beholding and touching
A loveable and loving creature.
(Stendhal)
 Play the old game "He/she loves me, he/she loves me not" with your
beloved in a meadow covered in daisies. Make sure that the result

at the end really is "She/he loves me" (even if you have to pull out two
petals at once). Then ask innocently if this statement really is true.
 A declaration of love does not always have to take place before
the first kiss. You could postpone it till after the second, third or
thousandth kiss - if you are surer by then that the other person really
is interested in you.
 He covers me with kisses
from his mouth.
His love is sweeter than wine.
(The Old Testament)

Do you own a computer? With a suitable

word processor, create the cover sheet
of a fictional newspaper with the following

heading: "Sensation! (Your name) loves

(your beloved's name)!" Present this to the
partner of your dreams at a suitable occasion.
 A little word of advice: Don't make
up stories about yourself in order

to win another person's love. Your "fib"

will soon be exposed, because in

the long run you can't pretend to be

someone that you aren't.
 For especially courageous women: invite the object of your desire
to your home. Welcome him in a see-through negligee or bathrobe
beneath which you are naked and seduce the man you love. You can

declare your love while you're doing this.

 A declaration of love of the "magic" kind: put some sugar in a
matchbox. Stick paper onto the box on which you have written several

"love spells". Present the box with the following words to the object
of your desire: "I wish that you would eat this so that you will love me
as much as I love you."
 A naughty declaration of love for women: buy a packet of colourful
condoms and wrap it in gift paper. Present this gift to the person

you love and say, "I hope that we will use up this packet as quickly as
possible. I love you."
 My heart does not rest,
Because your love
Has aroused it
With such longing
That it can only rest in you.
(Nikolaus of Kues)

Tell your beloved about the

difficulties you have sleeping. If he
or she asks for the reason, say,

"I can't sleep anymore because I can

only think of you since we met."
 Sleep is love, watching is life.
In life you belong to the day,
In love you belong to the night.
(Johann Wilhelm Ritter)
 Do you think handicrafts are old-fashioned? Not if you can declare
your love in this way! Knit a jumper or a scarf and work in a knitted

"I love you" (you could also embroider this, if you think this would
be too difficult), and present your work to the person you love. Even if
he will never wear it - it will still be a pleasant memory.
75
Our life consists of love,
And to love no more is to live no more.
(George Sand)
 Tfe e marnaaes

proposal
The marriage proposal is the most beautiful declaration of love
possible - after all, it means that you would like to spend the rest of your
life with the other person (even though it often works out different in
reality). There are thousands of ways of proposing marriage. A few are
listed on the following pages.
 Take your partner out for a sumptuous meal - to a restaurant, for
example, that you rarely visit. Order champagne or at least a good
sparkling wine; of course, the meal should also be something special.
When your partner asks what the reason for the celebration is (and
this question is bound to arise!) this is the time to pop the question.
 A humorous form of marriage proposal: buy a small tent and give

it to the person you love, saying, "Unfortunately I couldn't afford

more, but maybe you would still like to share my humble abode as my

wife/husband in future?"
 Surprise your partner by visiting the place where you first met or
where you kissed for the first time. At this important place, you could

propose in the following way: "Here we met/kissed for the first time.
Since then my life has become much happier. I would be happier still

if you married me."

 Is there a local radio station where you
live? Maybe you could ask if it is possible
to pop the question to your partner on radio.
However, you must make sure that your
partner is listening when the proposal is
being broadcast.

Give your partner a book with love poems. On

the first page write - as a dedication, so to speak
- "I love you and would like to spend the rest of my
life with you. Will you marry me?"
 Rather a cheeky marriage proposal: take the ring-pull
from a can of coke and put it on your partner's finger
with the words, "Unfortunately I couldn't afford anything
better - but I hope you will still marry me."
 A holiday together is the ideal time for a marriage
proposal. In the evening, go to the beach with your partner
and watch the sun set. In such a romantic mood it

won't be difficult to find the right words for a proposal.

 Give your partner a trip with a balloon as

a present. High above the clouds, say "Together

with you I always feel on cloud nine, not only
now. To make sure it stays this way I would like

you to become my wife/ husband."

 For puzzle enthusiasts: draw a picture puzzle or a crossword that
expresses your desire to get married. This is not that easy but you
will manage if you use your imagination. Your partner will now have
to solve this puzzle, which you give to him or her nicely wrapped.
 Get hold of the wedding march on CD
or cassette. Play it on a suitable occasion,
for example after a romantic meal or
when you are lying on the bed together,
dreaming. If your partner now asks
you what the music is supposed to mean,
you will probably only need to smile and
put your arms around your beloved ...
 For men: when friends get married, make sure (by arranging this
with the bride) that your partner catches the flower bouquet. According
to folklore, the girl who catches the bridal bouquet will be the next
to get married. Once your partner has caught the bouquet, you should
immediately propose to her.
 Give your partner the most treasured of all
your belongings as a present. Tell him that you
are giving him this important item because
you want to share everything with him - in the
future, too. Then propose to him.
 True love makes the thought of death
something mundane, bearable, without
fright, a simple parable, or a price
that one gladly pays for certain things.
(Stendhal)

In the evening, stand outside

your partner's bedroom window.

Throw a stone or two so that he
or she opens the window and
now sing a serenade. After this,
pop the important question.
 It is no longer fashionable to climb into your

girlfriend's room with the aid of a ladder, because

times have changed and you can ring the doorbell
instead. But for a marriage proposal this old custom
is ideal. Throw a few stones at her window so that
she opens it, and climb in. Then you could say,
"You can see what hardships I take upon myself
to come and see you. So that I don't have to suffer
any longer - would you like to marry me?"
 How could I doubt

your love, since I am

conscious of my own so
fervently!

(Franz Grillparzer)
 92
How about an ad in the paper to tell the whole world what
your partner means to you? However, you should propose to your
partner personally once he or she has read it.
 A marriage proposal can also be completely spontaneous -
at an especially blissful moment you are experiencing with your
partner. Maybe you notice in the middle of a snowball fight or
in an everyday situation that you love your partner so much you

would like to grow old with him or her. It doesn't matter when
- give free rein to your feelings!
 Are you familiar with the Chinese fortune cookies that

contain a little note with a "prophecy"? Why not bake

some cookies like this yourself? On each note you could write

the question, "Will you marry me?"

 Write a love poem to say how much your partner means to
you. Then recite it to your beloved at the next suitable occasion.

Afterwards you could say, "Now you know how important you
are to me. Will you marry me?"
 96
The classical marriage proposal: the man buys rings for himself
and for his beloved - however, these are not the wedding rings. When he
puts the ring on her finger, he asks if she will marry him.
 Do you have an old car?
Paint your marriage proposal
on the car body and then

drive to your partner's flat.

If your car isn't quite that old, you

could put a sign on its roof which
expresses your love and your desire
to get married.
 Buy some coloured chalk and on a sunny day write
the following on the road surface where your partner lives:

"I love you, (partner's name). Will you marry me?" You
should be present when your beloved reads this message!
 Do you both like scuba diving? Then you could propose

under water - of course, the ideal place would be a true diver's

paradise! Since you can't talk under water, you will have to
explain to your partner with gestures (and maybe by presenting
him or her with a ring?) that you would like to marry him or her.
 After a steamy night of love, write your marriage
proposal with lipstick on your body. Of course

you could also "paint" two interconnecting rings

and a question mark on your body with cream
from an aerosol tin. Afterwards your partner can
make a meal of you!
 Love is not a solo.
Love is a duet.
If it dwindles for one,
the song ceases.
(Adalbert von Chamisso)

If you would like to take the risk, have

your partner's name tattooed on your

body. Show the tattoo to your partner and

say, "My love for you goes under my skin

- will you marry me?"
 Are you an Internet freak and do you and your partner live
in different towns or cities? Meet your beloved in a chatroom.
In a private conversation, you can then propose via data line.
 Of course, you could also propose via e-mail, but in this case
your proposal should be something very original. You could,
for example, send the wedding march as an attachment or a
photo of the two of you which you have processed on computer
in such a way that you are dressed as bride and groom.
 If you have a dog, you can use it to play Cupid: write your
marriage proposal on a sheet of paper, wrap it in a plastic
container and let your dog take this to your partner. You can be
sure that it will be a big surprise!
 How about a marriage proposal in rhyme? Show
what a great poet you are - of course, the lines should
exactly fit your situation. Recite your poem for your
beloved on a suitable occasion - if you kneel down, you
will impress even more.
 A gateau surprise (maybe for

your partner's birthday?): get hold

of a huge plastic cream cake that
is large enough for a person to
fit inside - you could possibly get
this from a party organiser. Sit
inside the cake and have it taken

to your partner's place at a

suitable moment. Jump out and

say, "Here is my present. Will

you marry me?"

 Wear something really sexy when
you jump out of the cake - the surprise
will be all the greater!

Love is the desire to give,

not to receive.
(Bertolt Brecht)
 A classical marriage proposal: the
man puts on his best suit, gives his
beloved a bunch of roses and goes down
on his knees to ask her if she would like

to marry him. Wouldn't that be the right

idea for you? It is certainly romantic!

If you're pretty sure that your

partner will say "yes", you could give
him or her a ticket (or a voucher) to
fly to Las Vegas, the wedding paradise.
You could then get married there and
spend your honeymoon in the US.
 713
Paris is one of the world's most beautiful cities for lovers, so why
not propose to your partner at one of the many romantic spots on the
banks of the Seine?
 Venice, too, is not just an
ideal place for a honeymoon, but
also for a marriage proposal
in front of a romantic backdrop.
 Do you and your partner love going to the disco? Why not ask at your
favourite disco if you could propose via microphone. First of all let the
DJ play a song that has a special meaning for you and your partner, and
then go up to the microphone to declare your love in front of everybody.
 For disco freaks who don't like the limelight quite
as much: it is enough to ask the DJ to play "your song".
Take your partner in your arms when the music
is playing, draw him or her close to you and propose.
 Organise a video evening just for
yourself and your partner and watch the
most enjoyable scenes from your life
together so far. At the end of the show

you could say, for example, "I would

like to experience many more moments
such as these together with you. Will

you marry me?"

The great happiness in

love consists in finding
peace in another heart.
(Julie de Lespinasse)
 A dramatic performance for all who like this type of thing: dress up
as a pirate with an eye patch, frilly shirt and sabre. Then kidnap your
beloved from her place of work (you should arrange this beforehand with
her boss) and take her to your boat - no matter if it is a rowing boat or
a yacht. After this successful abduction, you go down on your knees and
ask your beloved for her hand in marriage.
 How about a paper chase as a marriage proposal: tell your partner
that you have a present for him or her but that he or she must look for it
- hints as to where it can be found are given in the course of a paper
chase; he or she must then assemble these notes to make up a sentence.

Write the words "Darling, will you marry me?" individually on pieces
of paper along with information as to where the next note can be found.
Once your partner has found all these notes, he or she can assemble
your marriage proposal - you should be standing near him or her (maybe
with a bunch of roses) and repeat the proposal.
 Rent a boat - a sailing boat or a rowing boat - and invite
your partner aboard. Take a bottle of champagne along with you
and propose to your partner on the high seas (which of course
could be a lake or a river) in a romantic fashion - far away from
all the hustle and bustle on land.
 For men: take your partner to a kids'
playground (provided that your partner wants
to have children of her own). Watch the
hustle and bustle and say at the right moment,

"Please start a family with me - marry me!"

 For women: accompany your darling to a
soccer match of his favourite club. Arrange with
the stadium announcer that you propose to
your beloved during the half-time break (you
will have to find a pretext to get away). The
stadium management will no doubt be obliging.
 Have a friend make a video film of yourself in which you
propose to your darling. Give him or her this video as a present and
watch it together. Make sure you have some champagne ready!
 A cassette you have recorded
yourself or a CD you have burned
with songs about marriage are
sure to be understood as a hint
when you give it to your partner.

If your partner still doesn't understand

your intentions when he or she listens
to this CD or cassette, you will have to be
more direct and sing into his/her ear,

"Will you marry me?"

 That is love's magic power, that it
ennobles what is touched by its breath,
as the sun, whose golden rays will
transform even thunderclouds into gold.
(Franz Grillparzer)
 Give your partner an album with the best photos of both of
you as a present. It could also contain photos documenting your
lives from childhood to the present day. The last photo should
be a collage of the two of you as bride and groom. Underneath write

in gold, "Will you marry me?"

 Invite your beloved to a puppet show,
where you will be the puppeteer. The
two of you are the main characters. With
the puppets, re-enact one of the most
memorable occasions of your life together.
At the end, have the puppet that represents
you propose to the other puppet. Then
come out from behind the puppet theatre
and repeat your question.

Of course, your "puppet image"

could also pose the question directly
from the puppet theatre to your
partner. While doing this, gradually
emerge from behind the theatre.
 Give your partner a book with blank pages
as a present. If he or she asks in surprise

what this is supposed to mean, say "This book

is reserved for all the wonderful events of our

married life. Please marry me!"

To worship the beloved

is the nature of the lover.
(Friedrich Schlegel)
 133
Attach a cardboard or plastic heart to your shirt,
pullover or T-shirt. Present it to your partner with the
words "I am giving you my heart. Will you marry me?"
 A casual marriage proposal can
also have its attraction: at a moment
when he or she is least expecting it
(for example, while doing the dishes),
simply ask your partner if he or she
would like to marry you.
 It's a hot summer's day. You are both lying on the beach or
in the swimming pool. Put your hands on your partner's back.
With your finger, write the individual letters of the question

"Will you marry me?" on your partner's back. He or she now

has to guess what you have written.
 For somewhat more courageous people, but
also for romantics: on a warm day, look for a quiet
spot outside in nature where you can make love
undisturbed. Afterwards, have a romantic picnic
during which you propose to your partner.
 The greatest happiness apart from loving:

declaring one's love.

(Andre Gide)

137
138
Surprise your beloved with strawberries in winter and other

such delicacies that you normally don't allow yourself. Celebrate your
very own private party and propose to your partner.
 Buy a tandem and give it to your
partner as a present, saying
"I would like to go everywhere together
with you in future. Please marry me."
 Give your beloved a cuddly toy. Put a paper roll
around its neck on which you have written your

marriage proposal, "Just like this cuddly toy, I would only

like to cuddle you in future - please marry me!"
 For unconventional people: a bunch of wildflowers isn't really
anything special, but very beautiful. So go out and pick some
wildflowers. Present them to your partner and propose marriage.

Give your partner a picture of

two lovers. It could be a photo or an
art reproduction. Write your
proposal on the back of the picture.
143
If you enjoy writing, you could write several short love
stories. Write down how you and your partner met and grew to
love each other - the end of this story would be your wedding.
 Enter these love stories in the computer and print them
out so that you can have them bound as a little book
(perhaps you could also do this yourself). Having read your
love story, at the latest, your partner will understand...
 Do you remember the children's angling game with magnets? Play
this game with your partner, who doesn't know that you have also
hidden two rings among the fish. When your partner fishes out one of
the rings, propose to him or her.

I have always loved you,

Still love you today,
And will love you in all eternity.
(Ludwig Uhland)
 Do you and your partner enjoy hiking
in the mountains? What could be more
beautiful than asking your partner on
a mountaintop if he or she will marry you!

As a present, give your partner a

dance course especially for brides and
grooms who want to learn how to
dance before the wedding. Your
partner should understand this hint
without any further explanation.
 A marriage proposal in the snow is

something very special. It doesn't

matter if you propose in the snowfields,
on the toboggan run, during a winter
walk or after a snowball fight - the
white splendour will give it just the right
romantic touch.
 For men: propose to your partner when she feels that she is

not looking her best - because she isn't wearing make-up, has just
woken up or hasn't yet washed her hair. Tell her how much you
love here even when she doesn't find herself especially attractive,
and top this by asking her to marry you.
 Declarations of love
to uour partner
The initial phase of infatuation, when you constantly assure your
partner of your love, soon gives way to deeper feelings of tenderness
and security (assuming of course you stay together). Unfortunately, in
everyday life we often neglect to show our partner just how much
we love him or her. This is a pity; after all, it is often the small loving
gestures that make life with your partner so endearing and prevent
a humdrum routine from developing. So show your love for your
partner from time to time!
 Go and watch a love film at the cinema with your
partner, hold hands and kiss in the dark like young lovers
do. An evening at the cinema such as this will help liven
up even a long-standing partnership. And who knows
- maybe it will develop into a really sensual evening...
 Roses speak the language
of love. Give your beloved
a long-stemmed red rose
- or better still, present him or
her with a whole bunch!
 If you get up before your partner, leave a small note on the kitchen

table in the morning with a loving message such as "I'm already looking
forward to seeing you", or "Without you, the day will really drag out".
No matter whether you have known each other for a long time or if

you've just met - such a message is bound to make your partner's day!
 It is also a nice idea to write a
love message with lipstick on the
mirror, where it will definitely not

your beloved's notice. However,

you should be prepared to clean
the mirror afterwards.

It is a pleasant surprise for

your darling if he or she finds
a declaration of love in his or her
car, when setting off to work in
the morning. You could, for example,
fasten a note to the steering wheel
on which you write, "Please drive
carefully - I would like to have you
around for a long time yet!"
156
In the morning, before work, put a photo of yourself in your

darling's wallet (maybe even an erotic one?) without him noticing it.
On the back, you could write, "I love you - come back to me soon."
 I
For women: a little erotic surprise for
your partner is sure to spice up your love life.

Put an item of lingerie on the driver's seat

of his car or hide it in his briefcase. This,

together with a note saying, "At home there's

a surprise waiting for you," will add some
zest to your relationship even if you've already
been living together for several years.
 Does your partner tend to be
grumpy in the morning? Wake him
gently with a few caresses and
some loving words. Your day will
immediately start on a better note.

A few caresses before getting up

(without going all the way) will
increase the anticipation of seeing
your partner again in the evening.
 Give your partner a real treat. Fill the bath for him or her, add

a fragrant bath essence and massage your partner's back while

he or she is sitting in the bath. If you feel like it, you could join your
partner - who knows what could happen then?
 If your partner complains of a headache, offer a head massage.
Gently massage the forehead, scalp and - still more gently - the
neck. This is very relaxing, and it feels good too. Maybe you could
even pamper him or her with a few kisses now and then?
 If you have to get up before your partner,
try not to wake him or her. This can also
be a sign of love and respect, especially if
your partner likes to lie in.

True love
remains ever true to itself,
whether it be granted all
or denied all.
(Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)
 For men: give your partner
the perfume she has been
wanting for a long time, even

if you don't especially like it.

For women: wear the

perfume that you really like,
but which your partner

detests, only when you're not

together with him.
 Always show your appreciation of

your partner's declarations of love

(whether they be in the form of words,
gestures or gifts), even if they are
sometimes made in a somewhat clumsy
manner. This in return will show your
partner how much you love him or her.

Pay your partner a

compliment about his or
her looks, especially

when he or she doesn't feel

very attractive at the time.
 For women: if your partner is a
soccer fan, go and see a match

with him occasionally, even if you don't

particularly enjoy it.

For men: do without the soccer

broadcast if your wife would like
to watch something else, but especially
if she would prefer doing something
else with you.
 In the age of e-mail and Internet, love letters might be a little
old-fashioned; on the other hand, they are a wonderful way of
telling your partner how much you like him or her. A love letter is
a special surprise if you have already been together with your
partner for a long time.
 Try to take a day off work on your

partner's birthday. This gesture will show him

or her how much he or she means to you.

Bring a bottle of
champagne home with you
without any particular reason

and say, "Darling, let's

celebrate our love tonight."
 If your partner suffers from stress at work, help him
relax properly in the evening. Take a walk together,
have a nice meal, talk about pleasant things or simply put
your arms around him or her.
 Listen to your partner when he
or she has problems and would like
to talk about them. Even if you
can't be of much help, it at least
shows your concern.

It is not possible to simply caress problems away, but you can

at least try. Be gentle towards your partner if he or she isn't feeling

well for whatever reason.
 Try and cheer up your partner with some
loving words if he or she seems depressed.
When your partner seems stressed or suffers
from problems, declare your love, for

example, "Even if you feel bad, I'm here for

you. Together we will master all problems
- because we love each other."
 Love also means forgiveness. If your partner has offended you

- maybe even unintentionally - you shouldn't sulk. You can show your
displeasure, but you should also relent. You could show your desire
for reconciliation in a special way - by seducing your partner.
 Grant your partner certain
liberties - after all, trust is
also a sign of love. Be happy
with your partner if he or she
has experienced something

pleasant, even if you weren't

there at the time.

The God of love

led me to you.
(Giuseppe Verdi)
 If your partner flirts with another person,
show your jealousy (but only in moderation!). This
will show your partner that you still find him or
her desirable. However, make sure you keep your
jealousy under control - exaggerated jealousy can
be very restrictive.
 For your partner's sake, you should occasionally abstain from bad
habits such as smoking, if he or she asks you to do so. This will show
your partner how much you respect him or her, and this is also a kind
of declaration of love.
 For men: give your wife an
item of clothing that she
especially likes, even if you find
it rather unflattering on her.

However, don't tell her that you

don't like it.

For women: occasionally wear an item of

clothing for him that he adores, even if you don't

particularly like it.
 Give your partner your heart as a present - for example in the
form of a big gingerbread heart. At the fair, you will find gingerbread

hearts with loving words galore. How about "Forever yours"?

Give your partner nicknames. These

should be loving, but one thing is
especially important: they should appeal
not only to you, but also to your partner.
 Why not show that you love your partner in front of other
people? Why not kiss him or her in the street? You probably

did this quite often when you first got together and you didn't
feel ashamed about it then.
 This is one of the nicest declarations of love that you could give

to a woman who is longing for a child: simply say, "Throw those

stupid contraceptives away," and then make love to her on her day
of ovulation.
To say that it is impossible to always love the same woman
is as tasteless as saying that a famous artist needs several
violins to play a piece of music and to create a magic melody.
(Honore de Balzac)
 Tell your partner the merits that he
or she has in comparison with other
people and that you especially love about
him or her.

Write a love poem for

your partner and put
it under his or her pillow.
 Does your partner love dancing, whereas you can't dance
at all? Attend a dancing course (maybe even without your
partner knowing about it) and surprise him or her by tripping
the light fantastic together.
 In an everyday situation, whisper "I love you"
in your partner's ear - just as you did at the
start of your relationship. It will be a wonderful
surprise for him or her.
 For women: seduce your partner
after a long working day. Wear
attractive clothes (perhaps some
enticing lingerie), use some exciting
perfume, pour a glass of wine for
your partner and yourself and then
slowly start to pamper him.
 For courageous women, but also for
men: seduce your partner with a skilful

striptease, which isn't really that difficult

at all. Simply rehearse a little in front
of the mirror - your partner is bound to
overlook any minor "faults" in your
dance of seduction and will be thrilled.

Arouse your partner's curiosity

for what he can expect in the evening
when you want to perform your
striptease. Phone him at work and
tell him that a surprise is waiting for
him when he comes home.
 A special kind of declaration of love: do you and your partner have
different ideas about your holidays, and has this frequently been the

cause of differences between you? When you're planning your next

holidays, simply agree to his or her ideas without complaining - simply
because you love him or her!
 Call your beloved at work during
the day and play a love song over
the phone.

Reciting a classical love poem during a phone call

could also brighten up your partner's day.

 If your partner is very open in sexual matters,
you could give him a lot of pleasure by telling
him over the phone just what you would like to do
with him if he was with you at the time.
 Has your partner ever dreamt of
making love on the beach? Fulfil this

200
wish on your next holiday.

207
During sex, tell your partner when you like something especially.
On the one hand, this is a wonderful declaration of love, and on the
other, he or she will also get to know what you like.
 202
The whole art of love seems to me to consist of saying
what the magic of the moment requires, that is, to
follow one's heart. But one shouldn't assume this is easy.
(Stendhal)
203
Praise your partner more often instead of
criticising him or her. This kills two birds
with one stone: firstly, your partner feels loved
and accepted by you, and secondly, your
partner is bound to repeat what he or she was
praised for in order to earn renewed praise.
 204
If your partner is very keen
to see a particular film, watch
it together with him or her
even if doesn't really interest
you. He or she is bound
to understand this kind of
declaration of love.

205
Does your partner love
operas or operettas, and you
don't? You should still
occasionally give your partner
a ticket to the opera and
accompany him or her.
 Making love on the floor is a good way to liven up a dull
evening. Spread out a blanket, ask your partner to lie down
beside you and start caressing him or her. This unusual place
for lovemaking will liven up your love life.
 207
For men: give your partner a day without the children.
She could, for example, go shopping in peace or
meet old girlfriends while you look after the youngsters.
208
If your partner is stressed,
give him a wellness weekend where
he or she can recover from the

daily grind - it doesn't have to be

a special occasion.

Let your partner go

on holiday without you for

209
a week. He or she will
understand your trust as
a proof of love.
 If your partner asks you about previous amorous adventures, you
should tell him or her about them. However, you should never make the
mistake of comparing him or her with previous partners; instead

you should emphasise your partner's merits - without criticising or

denigrating ex-partners.
 If you and your partner meet a one-time boyfriend or girlfriend of
yours, introduce your new partner in a polite manner. Show your
previous partner that you and your new partner now belong together

by putting your arm around him or her or by holding your partner's

hand. Your partner is bound to value this as a declaration of love.
 I 9 1
I J
If a former boyfriend or
girlfriend starts flirting with
you at a party, be friendly
but firm and leave him or her
standing there. If your new
partner notices this, this is the
nicest declaration of love you
could give him.
 Love inspires us
and makes us vulnerable.
(Heinrich Mann)
/
 274
You aren't married yet? Remember - one of the nicest
declarations of love in the world is the proposal of marriage,

especially if your partner isn't expecting it.

 A gastronomic declaration of love: prepare

your partner's favourite meal even if you

don't especially like it. Don't cook meals that
he or she detests.
 Give your partner a surprise
birthday party. Prepare the party
without your partner noticing
it and secretly invite guests that your
partner especially likes.
 As a surprise for the
birthday party bake
a cake (or buy one) with
a loving message.

A declaration of love as a welcome after a humdrum working day:

how about putting up a (self-made) banner above your door with the
words, "Welcome home, Queen/King of my heart."
 It doesn't matter how long ago you got married - surprise your
partner with a second honeymoon. Plan a romantic journey

just for the two of you. If you have children, this trip doesn't need
to be long, but you should still treat yourselves.
 At the weekend, serve your partner breakfast in bed.
A red rose in a little vase is a must. And if the bread crumbs

don't bother you, you could have an erotic "dessert".

 Think up something new in bed

now and again. It doesn't have to

be anything spectacular, but it should
liven up your love life.

Accept a 'no' in bed.

If your partner doesn't like
something or other,

you shouldn't be insistent.

 Invite your partner to go dancing - it doesn't matter whether it's the
discotheque next door or a dance hall. Make sure that it is a carefree
evening: organise a baby-sitter, order a taxi so that neither of you has to
drive, and only have eyes for your partner.
 Try and see your partner as you did at
the start of your relationship. Remember all
the little characteristics and qualities of
your partner that used to fascinate you back
then. These characteristics (or at least
some of them) are bound to be still there.
Tell your partner what you loved about
him or her back then and still love today.
 If your partner is in a difficult situation you should give him or

her your support, even if you think he or she isn't in the right.
Support your partner in front of others, and demonstrate your affection
and loyalty. You can always criticise him or her at home in private.
 It is love's sacred godly ray
That strikes the soul and fires,
When like and like meet.
There is no resistance and no choice:

Humans shall not undo what's bonded in heaven.

(Friedrich von Schiller)
 Every partnership has to
weather a big storm at one time

or another. Don't immediately

throw in the towel; try instead to
save your love.

After an argument it's time to

make up again: take your partner
firmly in your arms, whisper
loving words into his or her ear and
ask for forgiveness if necessary.
 229
Symbolically give your partner
a thousand kisses. List on a
piece of paper what kind of kisses
these are, for example:
0 brotherly kisses, 12 loving
kisses, 35 hot kisses, 157
passionate kisses and so on...

230
For men without a beard: a regular
shave can also be a proof of love. A five
o'clock shadow might look masculine,
but isn't very pleasant for your darling
if your stubble scratches her face.
 231
Walk through town with your partner, holding hands. This shows
that you belong together - even if almost everybody knows this already.
This tender gesture can say more than a thousand words.
 During a warm summer shower take your partner's
hand, rush outside and run and dance with him
or her in the rain. Kiss your partner and feel how the
warm rain mingles with your kisses.
 Love is taking the dog /n
for a walk even when
I
\

it is your partner's turn.

Wash your partner's car

without him or her having
asked for it. Car enthusiasts
will especially regard
this as a declaration of love.
 If you are a non-smoker, show your
partner that you love him by fetching
cigarettes for him (at least occasionally)
when he has run out. Let him turn one

room of your flat into a "smoker's parlour"

(but only if you don't have children!).

You should give up smoking if your

partner is a non-smoker. On the one hand,
this doesn't force him or her to smoke
passively, and on the other, you will probably
prolong your life and thus the time that you
can spend with your partner.
 Is your partner's car dusty or dirty? Write "I love you" with your
finger on the dusty paintwork and add a large heart. To prevent any
misunderstandings, you should sign this message with your name.

237
 Provide a cosy atmosphere when
your partner is ill - with fluffy
blankets, soft pillows and warm tea.

238
 If your partner is feeling sick, show your love and care by not eating
the most delicious dishes right in front of him or her. Try not to talk
about eating at all, but instead prepare some tea for your partner that
calms the stomach.
 For men: show understanding for your partner's urge to
telephone. After all, it goes without saying that women have to
talk for hours when they have bought a new piece of clothing.

240
 For women: accept that
he has to meet his friends in the
pub for a beer occasionally,
so that they can demonstrate to
each other their qualities as
a premier division soccer coach.
Even though one beer usually

becomes ten, you shouldn't

let this bother you too much.
 For women: be understanding if your partner
doesn't ask for instructions when he has taken the
wrong road. Men simply have to prove that they
have enough sense of direction to find the way without

somebody else's help.

 For men: don't make a fuss
when your partner reacts more
sensitively around the time of
menstruation. Simply take her
in your arms if she starts crying
again for no apparent reason.

Doubt that the stars are fine,

Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.
(William Shakespeare)
 If your partner is from a different country, you
should learn his or her mother tongue. In any case,

you should collect information on the country's

culture and typical customs - not just in case you
visit your partner's home country, but also to show
your interest in his or her origins.
 Read your partner's favourite book
so that you can have a discussion with
him or her about it, even if you really
think this would be a waste of time.

Try and control your moods when

you are together with your partner. Most
people tend to take their moods out
on their loved ones, but this certainly is
no proof of love.
 Accept your partner's occasional bad moods. Try and
cheer him or her up so that he or she can relax. But if
your partner turns this down and would rather be alone,
you should accept this without being offended.
 If you wanted to be on your own for a while because of
a bad mood, you should approach your partner once it has
blown over, take him on your arms, give him a big kiss
and ask for forgiveness for your moodiness. Thank him for
accepting you the way you are.
 How about a partner massage? This is not
as difficult as you might think. However,
you should not massage bones, and you must
stop immediately if your partner finds it
painful for. Use a fragrant oil such as almond
oil for the massage.

250
 A partner massage shouldn't be too rough; rather look at
it as a caress for your partner's soul. And maybe you could
intersperse a different type of caress now and then, so that the
whole occasion eventually takes an erotic turn.
 For men: if your partner tells you she
is pregnant, you should be happy
with her - even if you are afraid of taking
responsibility for a child.

Accompany your partner to the birth

preparation classes. You might find
this boring, but you will be proving to
your partner that you take an interest
in her and her pregnancy.
 Show understanding for your partner during her
pregnancy - even if her moods sometimes seem unbearable.
After all, you know how hormones can play up ...

254
 Put a little note into your partner's trouser or jacket pocket -
where he's bound to find it. Write a brief declaration of love
on this note. Especially if you have been together for a long time,
this is bound to liven up the love in your partnership.
 256
A love message via SMS isn't just for young people. You should
especially send an SMS when your partner isn't expecting to receive a
loving message from you on his mobile phone.
 Why not put an ad in the paper, in which you tell your beloved

and the entire world how much you love him or her; it doesn't
have to be a special occasion. But make sure your partner actually
gets around to reading it.
 Do you have a weekend relationship? Why not surprise
your partner with a visit in the middle of the week?
You should, however, be sure that he or she is at home,

so that you don't make the trip in vain.

Give your partner a mobile phone

as a present, so that you can get
in touch with him or her at any time.
To avoid giving the impression that
you want to monitor him or her,
you should only phone at previously
arranged times.
 If you live further apart, you could send your partner a surprise
parcel which could contain chocolates in the shape of hearts, for
example. It should always be accompanied by a love letter, even if it
is only a short one.

During a candlelight dinner, remind your partner of the time you

got to know each other and the early days of your relationship. Tell him
how beautiful you found this new love, but then say that it has now
become even more beautiful - perhaps because you now feel much closer
to your partner than you did at that time.
 Nor dare I question with my jealous thought
Where you may be or your affairs suppose
But like a sad slave stay and think of nought
Save where you are, how happy you make those.
(William Shakespeare)
 For men: you should at least
occasionally do the dishes, if your
partner hates this chore. She will
understand this declaration of love
without the need for words.

Buy a dishwasher so that neither of you has to do the dishes.

"Present" the dishwasher as a gift and say, "Now we shall have more
time for each other at last."
 Go for an ice cream together. Order
a portion for two (which is available in
most ice-cream parlours) to show that
you share everything with your partner.

For women: pay your partner compliments about his prowess as a

lover. This is probably one of the nicest declarations of love and it will be
an incentive for him to continue to do his best in bed in the future.
 Accept his friends/her girlfriends even if you don't especially
like them. Do something together with your partner and those
friends. In most cases, it will be important for your partner for you
to get on with his/her friends.
 Try and get on a good footing with your partner's family.
In general, it will probably be important for your partner
that you get on with his or her parents and siblings. After all, you
might become part of this family or maybe you already are.
 Attend your partner's family's celebrations
together with him or her. This shows that
you are interested in your partner, his/her family
and therefore his/her past. And maybe you are

your partner's only bright spot during these often

boring "duties".
 Give your partner a special
present without waiting for a special
occasion: a balloon trip with a picnic
above cloud nine. If your partner
doesn't have a fear of flying, you are
sure to have a great time.
 On your anniversary, make a thank-you speech for your partner
because you are together. Emphasise the best aspects of your
partnership, without forgetting to mention the darker moments.
Focus on how you managed to overcome the difficult times in
your relationship with a combined effort.
 For all lovers in a long-term relationship: at a special moment
ensure your partner that you still love him/her as much as
on the first day (or possibly even more) - even though it might
not seem like this sometimes.
 I love and don't tell you,
and do you love me? I don't ask you.
I'd like to ask but I don't dare,
I love and say nothing and don't complain.
(Hoffmann von Fallersleben)
 274
On your anniversary pretend that you've just met. This will
no doubt be a special declaration of love for your partner. In addition,

this old "game" is bound to revive old love.

 Why not act as a "human hot water
bottle" when your partner feels cold. Cover
him/her and yourself with a blanket and
then start cuddling your partner lovingly.
 Place a photo of your
partner on your desk - at the
office and at home. In
addition, put a photo of him
or her in your wallet.
 If your partner has to go on a business trip or if you are separated
for a short time for some other reason, give him or her a cuddly toy.
On the one hand, it is intended to protect him or her from bad

"influences" (other men or women) and, on the other, to remind your

partner that you are thinking of him or her.
 Do you or your partner love phoning? Do you spend hours
on the Internet? Give your partner an ISDN connection
with two lines so that both of you can satisfy your passion without

getting in each other's way.

 For him: never ask your partner
how much a piece of clothing cost
(even if she withdrew the money
from your account). Tell her instead
how beautiful she looks wearing it.
 280
Take a walk together, but don't just walk next to each other
- put your arm around your partner, just as you did when you first
got together. It is nice for your partner and for yourself to feel the
warmth of the other person and to know that he or she is there for you.
 Never ask your partner do to something that
he or she can't fulfil. For example, you will
never manage to turn someone chaotic into a
neat and tidy person. Accept this and love your
partner just the way he or she is.
 If your parents criticise your
partner, always stand up for
him or her to prove your loyalty
- especially if he or she is
present while being criticised,
and even if you actually agree

with your parents' criticism.

However, you don't have to tell
anyone else that apart from
your partner.
 If there are shooting stars in the night sky, watch them
together with your partner and make a wish. If your
partner asks what you wished for, hesitate a little, before

you say, "I wish that we will always love one another."
 Do I love you?
Ask the stars.
(Karl Herolssohn)
 Laugh at your partner's jokes - especially
if no one else laughs at them. This shows
your partner that you are standing up

for him (even if you didn't really find the

joke funny yourself). In addition, your
partner won't feel that he has made a fool
of himself - after all, it is embarrassing
if no one laughs at the joke you've just told.
 If your partner cries over something that has happened, you

shouldn't hesitate to cry together, even if you feel that you should
rather console your partner. Crying in itself is a consolation,
but even more comforting is the knowledge that there is a person
with you who understands and shares your feelings.
 Don't hide your tears from your
partner - no matter why you are
crying. This shows your partner that
you trust him or her and that you
don't have to hide your weakness.
Can there be a better proof of love?
 If other people are laughing at your partner, don't join
them. On the contrary: speak to the others about their
bad behaviour (because this is what this is) and make a
fool of them in this way.
 The saying goes that malicious joy is the best joy, but in regard to
your partner this is completely unfitting, because it can deeply
hurt another person. Make sure you never show satisfaction at your

partner's misfortunes.
 Love has nothing to do with what you want to get
only with that which you yourself want to give.
(Katherine Hepburn)

290
 Surprise your partner with a phone call from work (maybe shortly
after he rings you?). Tell him how much you are looking forward
to seeing him again, how pleasant it is for you to at least hear his voice
and how much you are missing him.
 Give your partner some erotic lingerie
made from a flattering material. When you

make your choice, don't just go by your

own taste but also think about that of your
partner. If she prefers white underwear,
whereas you prefer black, you should
definitely choose white lingerie.
 Never compare your partner with an
unattainable ideal (what woman, for example,
really does look like a super model?). If you
have to make comparisons, they should be in
favour of your partner.
 Plan a weekend just for
yourself, your partner
and your love. Switch off the
telephone and doorbell, so

that you can't be disturbed.

Have breakfast in bed together,
make love and do all those
things together that you
normallv don't have time for.
 Fulfil one of your partner's dreams. It doesn't matter if
this is an introductory course for hang gliding or a visit
to Disneyland - just make it possible. Your partner is bound
to understand this declaration of love.
 Go on a surprise trip with your
partner. Pack his or her suitcases, put
them in your car, pick your partner
up on Friday after work and drive to a
place that you both like or that you
have always wanted to visit. Of course,

you mustn't say anything to your

partner beforehand!
 297
Buy new rings for both of you - they
shouldn't replace your current friendship or
wedding rings, but rather complement them.
 298
Give your partner a ring with a special engraving. How

about "Forever yours" or "Thank you for the wonderful years"?

Perhaps you have your own secret code to say "I love you."
 Plant a tree for your darling.
Tell her that your love will grow like
this tree in the years to come.

299
 300
Don't attend a meeting with
friends or sporting events if

your partner doesn't feel well.

Be there just for him or her.
 Always defend your partner against attacks from other people -
it doesn't matter where they come from, if they are justified or
even if you think the same. Loyalty is an important demonstration
of love in a partnership.
 At no time are we more vulnerable to suffering
than when we love.

302
(Sigmund Freud)
 Dear parents
Most of us will probably find that we all too seldom show our parents
just how much we love them. But when we really come to think about
it, there is so much that we owe to our parents - which is reason enough
to tell them you love them every now and then, no matter how.
 When was the last time you gave your parents a
hug? Is it some time ago? Then you should pluck
up some courage and embrace them warmly. You can
be sure that it will do your parents a lot of good.
 304
If you live close to your parents, you should perhaps visit them
more often - not just when you want something from them. It only has
to be a short visit; after all, it is intended more as a loving gesture.
 305
If your parents (or one parent) live in a retirement home, visit
them regularly so that they have something to look forward to.
If you only turn up occasionally on a Sunday between lunch and
afternoon tea, your parents are sure to feel neglected.
 Invite your parents out for a meal with you
(and perhaps also your family) even when there is
no special occasion. Your parents may well be
surprised at first if you have never done something
like this before, they are sure to enjoy it.

306
 \

307
If you have children, you should make sure that they get to know
their grandparents - in other words, your parents - well. Grandparents
usually love their grandchildren and are always happy to see them.
 308
Write a letter to your parents,
expressing your gratitude for
everything they have ever done
for you.

309
Give your parents a special present:
a trip to a place that they have always
wanted to visit. Of course, they have to
be physically fit for such an experience.
 Always invite your parents for
major holidays such as Christmas
or Easter if you have enough room
in your house. Remember how your
parents always made these times
so special for you.

Prepare a special surprise for

your mother on Mother's Day:

how about a present such as a weekend
at a wellness resort?
 *^ Xf 4
riK
■

Forgive your parents for their mistakes, and if possible

forget them. Remember - your parents are probably too old to
make any major changes in their lives.
 Stand by your parents in
difficult times. Let them
Oknow that you will be there
for them even after the event
if they need or want you.
 Carry out tasks for your parents that they used to do for you
- especially if they are no longer physically capable of doing
these themselves. For instance, you could do the weekly washing
for your parents, clean up their flat or at least ensure that someone,
for example a cleaner, takes care of all these daily chores.
 315
Bake your parents a cake or buy them a gingerbread heart

which says "for the world's best Mum and Dad". You may find this
a little silly at first, but your parents are sure to be delighted.
 Look after your parents' pet when one of them is
ill or make sure that someone else takes care of
it if your parents are unable to do this themselves.
 The Earth is freed through love
and is ennobled through actions.
(Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

Always try and keep appointments that you

have arranged with your parents, even

if something "better" comes up beforehand.

 Organise the things for your parents that they are no longer capable
of or feel that they can no longer do themselves. For example, you
could go to the local authorities for them, or do the weekly shopping
or even sort out arguments with neighbours.
 320
Be there for your parents if they become sick

(especially if the illness is serious). It doesn't

matter if you have to travel a long distance or even
if you have to take time off work to see them.
 If you do not live close to your parents, make sure to keep them
informed of how their grandchildren are growing. Send tliem
lots of photos and allow your children to talk with their grandparents
on the telephone when they are old enough.
 If your parents live far away from
you, get them used to the idea of using
modern communication media
such as fax or e-mail. Give them a fax
machine or pay for an Internet
connection and show them how to
use these. In this way you will be able
to stay in contact much more easily.
 Don't get annoyed with your parents when they still see the child
in you. However old you may be, you are still your parents' child.

When we are young, love is more turbulent,

but not as powerful as later in life.
(Heinrich Heine)
 Surely one of the greatest signs of love you can show your parents is to
take them into your home when they are no longer capable of looking
after a household or if they need care. If this is not possible, find a place
in a good retirement home or care facilities for them. Be especially
careful when making your choice.
 Talk with your parents about how enjoyable
they made your childhood for you. Praise them,
for example, for how much you always looked
forward to the special occasions such Christmas
or your birthday, but also for the fact that they
were always there for you when you needed them
even when they were very busy.
 J

MBMfeh m/
^^r

^p^

Console your parents when times are bad for them,

just like they used to console you during your
childhood. Stay overnight if you feel that your presence
would help your parents to overcome their sadness.
 Laugh together with your
parents. The older you become,
the more you will find you
have in common with them -
this also applies to humour.
 329
Compliment your parents on their appearance, how fit they
are or how understanding they are towards modern youth
or whatever. Most parents love compliments from their children.
 Don't hesitate to ask your parents' advice
on how to bring up your own children. Even
if you then decide not to take their advice,
your parents at least feel as if they are being
included in your family life - a wonderful
token of your love.

330
 AAu dearest child

Children are the most valuable thing in this world - after all,
they are our future. So show your children more often just how much
you love them. The more love a child experiences, the more it can
express its own love later on in life. Perhaps this is a way to make the
world a better place to live in...
 The simplest way to show a
baby love is to react immediately
when it cries. By doing so you
are strengthening its trust in you
and the world.

You should take some time

each day to spend cuddling your
child (even a few minutes is
enough). Lie down together with
him or her on the settee, the
floor or the bed and read a book
together and cuddle up closely
to one another.
 Just like small children, teenagers also need your warmth
and affection - even if they prefer to appear cool on the outside.
So take your teenage son or daughter in your arms every day.
However, make sure that you are alone - if others see you cuddling,
your child is sure to feel embarrassed.
 Take part in a baby massage course with your child.
These caresses do your baby the world of good and
show it just how much you love it. You can even massage your
child in this way when he or she is no longer a baby.
 Older children also enjoy
being massaged. Why not
try it? Your touch is sure to
relax your child.

335
 A childhood of love can

provide against the

cold world for half a lifetime.

(Jean Paul)

Praise your children for things that they

have done especially well or which they are

particularly proud of, even if you don't

think the result is especially good. Praise
shows your children that you love them.
 Make some time every day for your child - not just fifteen
minutes or so, but a lot longer. During this time, occupy
yourself intensively with your child, play with him, tell him stories,
talk with him or simply listen to what he has to say to you.
 339
Never talk uncharitably about
your child to others. If the child
gets wind of this he or she could lose
trust in you.

Never compare your child

with other children. Every child is
special, has special characteristics
and can do special things that other
children of the same age cannot do.
340
 Always give your children encouragement when they feel
that they cannot master a problem or a situation. Perhaps
you can explain how you managed to overcome similar situations
when you were that age.
342
We cannot mould children as we
would wish; we must accept and
love them as God gave them to us.
(Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

Console your child when he or she is not feeling well.

Even older children need to be consoled in certain situations.

343
 344
Cuts and bruises hurt.

Stroke or "blow" the pain away

and take your child in your
arms if it has injured itself. You
attention will soon make your
child forget its pain.
 345
Give your child a book that
deals with love and affection.

Write a dedication such as "I love

you lots and lots."

346
When you have to leave your child on its own, write her

a little note saying, "Back soon - and then we'll do something

really nice together. Love, Mum/Dad".
 Never force your child to do something that it really does not

want to do - unless this is "really necessary". This includes

such things as visits to the doctor and taking medication as well
as being mindful of traffic.
 Not every one of your children's wishes has to be fulfilled. However,
at birthdays you should respect your child's wishes, even if you
are not entirely happy with the choice of present - of course, this is
assuming that finances allow the wish to be fulfilled.
 Setting limits also shows your child that you
love it. By laying down rules, you are structuring

the child's world and giving it important

orientation as to what is right and wrong.
 Children and clocks should not
be constantly wound up.
We should also let them run down.
(Jean Paul)
 Always take your child seriously,
with all his or her fears, worries,
needs and desires. There is a reason
for all of these.
 Sing your children a song that
shows you love them. You could
write this song yourself and express
all your feelings in the lyrics.

Tell your children regularly

that you love them. There is
sure to be a suitable, very special
moment each day.
 Forgive your children when they
oppose you and do exactly the
opposite of that what you expect or
have told them to do. It is only
natural that children oppose their
parents now and then.
 355
Never use any form of violence

towards your children. Even a " little

slap" is not an adequate means of
bringing up children, as you will
then not be showing your child

how to behave "properly" but only

humiliating him or her.

356
Allow your children to have a
private life - you do not have
to know every little thing they do.
In this way you will show your
children that you trust them.
 I believe that bringing up children
must be directed towards love.

357
(Astrid Lindgren)
358
When planning holidays, take your
children's wishes and needs into account.
They will then feel that you understand
them and take them seriously. Besides, your
holiday is sure to be more harmonious
if your children have been allowed to take
part in the decision-making process.

359
If you discover that your
child is being bullied, sit
down together and work out a
solution to the problem.
 360
Show your joy at your child's successes - regardless of whether these
are "big" events in your child's life, such as when it takes its first
steps, or smaller experiences that may not appear so important to you
but which are very significant to your child.
 Laugh together with your child at least once a day. You will
see that laughter helps release any tensions there may be, and this
will strengthen the bond between you.

Never tell your children that

others could do something better
than they can. Remember that you
could not do everything perfectly
when you were that age. Your child
will find its own way.
 Don't spoil your child's pleasure.
Even if you do not fully agree with his

behaviour, accept your child's decision.

Invite his friends around more often

- perhaps your concerns will be allayed

sooner than you thought possible.

%
 When your child falls in love for the first time, be happy

for your son or daughter. Try to ignore any " faults" you think the
girl/ boyfriend may have.

A child is a book from which we read

and in which we should write.
(Peter Rosegger)
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