Passage

The heavy iron gates groaned open, revealing the sprawling, overgrown
gardens of Greystone Manor. The once-grand estate was now a shadow of its
former self. Ivy clung desperately to crumbling stone walls, and shattered
windows reflected the fading sunlight in jagged fragments. A chilling wind
whispered through the trees, carrying with it the faint, haunting scent of
damp earth and decay.

As Maria stepped hesitantly onto the cobbled path, a sharp cry echoed from
within the house. It was neither human nor animal, but something in
between—a sound that froze the blood in her veins. She turned her head
sharply, her breath visible in the icy air. The atmosphere seemed alive,
oppressive, as though the house itself were watching her every move.

Maria’s heart pounded as she pushed open the creaking front door. The
hallway stretched before her, its walls lined with faded portraits whose
painted eyes seemed to follow her. Dust motes swirled in the weak light that
filtered through a broken skylight, and the floorboards groaned beneath her
cautious steps. Somewhere in the distance, the echo of footsteps—soft,
deliberate—made her pulse quicken.

Questions

1. How does the writer use sound to create a sense of tension and unease
in the passage?3mks
2. Explore how the writer uses language and structure to create a
mysterious and unsettling atmosphere in this passage. Support your
answer with close reference to the text. 15mks

Teacher Notes on the Passage

1. Language Techniques:
Imagery: “Ivy clung desperately,” “shattered windows reflected the fading
sunlight in jagged fragments.”

Sensory detail: “haunting scent of damp earth and decay,” “sharp cry
echoed.”

Personification: “the house itself were watching her.”

Metaphor: “the atmosphere seemed alive, oppressive.”

Onomatopoeia: “groaned open,” “creaking front door.”

2. Structure:

Builds tension incrementally (description of the exterior, then interior, then a

mysterious sound).

Use of short sentences to heighten suspense (“Maria’s heart pounded.”)

Varying sentence lengths to control pacing.

3. Exam Alignment:
The 3-mark question focuses on one specific technique (sound) for concise
analysis.

The 15-mark question encourages students to explore a range of techniques,

focusing on both language and structure

Sample responses

3-Mark Question:

How does the writer use sound to create a sense of tension and unease in
the passage?

Student Response (Example 1 – Full Marks, 3/3):

The writer uses sound effectively to build tension. The “groaned” of the iron
gates creates an eerie and ominous atmosphere, suggesting the setting is
decayed and neglected. The “sharp cry,” described as neither human nor
animal, adds mystery and frightens the reader, as its ambiguity makes it
unsettling. Finally, the “creaking front door” emphasizes Maria’s vulnerability
as she enters the house, heightening the sense of unease.

Student Response (Example 2 – Partial Marks, 2/3):

The writer uses sounds like the “sharp cry” and “creaking front door” to
make the scene scary. The cry is strange, which makes it mysterious, and the
door creaking shows the house is old. However, the response lacks a deeper
exploration of the effects or reference to specific tension.

Student Response (Example 3 – Low Marks, 1/3):

The writer uses sound like the gates groaning and the cry. It makes the place
creepy. (Limited detail and weak explanation.)
15-Mark Question:

Explore how the writer uses language and structure to create a mysterious
and unsettling atmosphere in this passage. Support your answer with close
reference to the text.

Student Response (Example 1 – High-Level, 13-15 Marks):

The writer creates a mysterious and unsettling atmosphere through vivid

imagery, personification, and structural techniques. The description of the
house as “a shadow of its former self” immediately sets a foreboding tone,
emphasizing decay and abandonment. The imagery of “ivy clung desperately
to crumbling stone walls” suggests the house is almost alive, as if trying to
hold itself together, adding an eerie quality.

Personification is used effectively, such as “the house itself were watching

her,” to suggest an omnipresent, sinister force. This creates the impression
that Maria is not alone, heightening tension. The metaphor, “the atmosphere
seemed alive, oppressive,” reinforces this idea, making the setting feel
suffocating and dangerous.

The structure also enhances the mood. The passage begins with a slow,
detailed description of the exterior, creating suspense as the reader
anticipates what lies within. Short sentences, such as “Maria’s heart
pounded,” are interspersed to quicken the pace and reflect her fear. The
deliberate inclusion of ambiguous sounds, like the “sharp cry” and “soft,
deliberate footsteps,” ensures the reader remains unsettled, as the source of
the sounds is left unexplained.
Overall, the combination of evocative language and well-paced structure
effectively creates an atmosphere of mystery and unease.

Student Response (Example 2 – Mid-Level, 9-11 Marks):

The writer makes the passage mysterious by describing the house as creepy.
For example, “shattered windows reflected the fading sunlight in jagged
fragments” shows the house is broken and scary. The phrase “the house
itself were watching her” makes it feel alive and dangerous. The “sharp cry”
adds to the tension because it is unclear where it comes from.

The structure also helps to make the atmosphere unsettling. The passage
starts slow with a description of the garden, but as Maria gets closer, the
tension increases. Short sentences like “Her heart pounded” make the fear
more obvious. However, the analysis could go into more depth about how
language is used to achieve this effect.

Student Response (Example 3 – Low-Level, 5-7 Marks):

The writer makes the passage scary by describing the house as “a shadow of
its former self” and using words like “crumbling” and “shattered.” These
words show that the house is old and spooky. The “sharp cry” makes the
reader feel scared because it is not clear what caused it.

The passage is also structured to build tension. First, it describes the garden,
then Maria goes into the house. The ”creaking front door” and “footsteps”
make it mysterious. (Limited exploration of techniques and effects.)
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