HANOI UNIVERSITY

ENGLISH FOR SPECIFIC PURPOSES DEPARTMENT

-------oOo-------

Emotional Intelligence in
children’s nurture

Student: Hoang Mai Lan

Lecturers: Ms. Tran Thuy
Hang
Ms. To Ngan Ha
Class: 3TC-11
Course: ESP Writing
Date: May 28, 2017
 ABSTRACT

Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ) has been seriously

noticed during the present time. This paper, based on
secondary research, discusses the role of EQ in children’s
nurture. In particular, three aspects are mentioned, including
the definition of Emotional Intelligence, its importance in the
childhood and methods to develop a high EQ for children. The
findings of the research indicate that though EQ is the
foundation of future success, there is still a deficiency of
practices for kids to advance in EQ. Therefore, some
suggestions, including measures at home and in class have
been given to help children with their feelings. All in all, the
paper draws the conclusion that both school and family should
cooperate to create an environment specializing the need for
EQ.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
ABSTRACT ................................................................................................................................................ i

1. Introduction ...................................................................................................................................... 1

2. Discussion of findings ....................................................................................................................... 1

2.1. What is the concept of Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ)? ................................... 2

2.2. Why does EQ come into children’s nurture? ................................................................ 2

2.3. How to develop children’s EQ? .................................................................................... 3

3. Conclusion ............................................................................................................................................. 4

REFERENCES .......................................................................................................................................... 5
1. Introduction

“A gifted mind doesn’t mean you will succeed in life”. That may be the thought of many people
about another aspect of intelligence – Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ) which seems to play
a more decisive and essential role in future success than the mathematical and logical one.
Indeed, shortly after Goleman’s best seller book “Emotional Intelligence” in 1995, the term
“EQ” has attracted great concern among people around the world. According to his claim,
someone who previously scored under 90 in an IQ test, for example, would be no longer
desperate and disappointed since “IQ is not destiny, EQ is different way of being smart”
(Goleman, cited in Wilson 1997). Also, EQ amounts to 80% of adults’ success as opposed to
only 20% from IQ (Viriyavidhayavongs & Jiamsuchon, 2001). Fortunately, although EQ is the
“innate potential” (Hein. 1996), it can be developed substantially. However, this development,
apparently, is a long process of learning and experiencing. Therefore, it is far more advantageous
for people to start improving EQ during the childhood. In fact, children with high EQ are
expected to study more productively and then lead a more gainful life. Thus, this paper, with the
purpose to help children advance in their EQ will discuss the importance of EQ in children’s
nurture and ways to boost this kind of intelligence.

2. Discussion of findings

2.1. What is the concept of Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ)?

The definition of EQ derives from the understanding of emotion which is the core part of each
person. Generally, that people’s emotion comes into existence is to determine who they are
(Hein, 1996). To be more precise, emotion is considered a person’s identity. Indeed, from every
part of the world, a number of people may accidentally share the same name, live in the same
place or perform in the same styles; however, they cannot be compelled to have the same
feelings (Hein, 1996). Realizing the importance of emotion in human development, John Mayer
and Peter Salovey – two American psychologists introduced the term “Emotional Intelligence” in
1990 to measure the emotional abilities, but it was not until 1995 that the concept of EQ could be
defined more specifically by Daniel Goleman. According to his study, EQ is the capacity to
understand and manage one’s own feelings and sympathize with others. Apart from that, this
new notion can be understood in a simpler way as the perception of good and bad feelings and
the way to get from bad to good (Hein, 1996).
2.2. Why does EQ come into children’s nurture?

It can be clarified that high EQ contributes to children’s success in life through three main
aspects, including psychology and personalities, academic performance and soft skills. Primarily,
children with high EQ are assumed to understand and manage their feelings better than others.
This ability turns out to be necessarily vital for all kids since it may influence their awareness and
behavior. (Segal & Smith, 2012). In fact, once children know how they feel, they instinctively
know how they will act, but the difference between a child with high EQ and an ordinary one is
the potential to control both emotion and then action; thus, kids with well-managed feelings
would apparently realize their own good and bad points, becoming more confident in expression
(Segal & Smith, 2012). Meanwhile, children whose EQ is not developed healthily probably have
difficulty coping with pressure, anger and tension (Hein, 1996). Furthermore, EQ is not solely to
understand one’s own emotion. It is also to understand others’ feelings. Indeed, the more deeply
children know their own senses, the more likely they are to sympathize with others. Naturally,
these kids would become rather open - minded and sociable, which helps them broaden their
relationship. On the contrary, for those with low EQ, communicating and making friends seem to
be hard for them.

Besides, EQ can play a significant role in success at school of children that is initially attributed
to IQ. Not surprisingly, many people think that EQ has nothing to do with academic and
intellectual fields. However, practically, EQ can exert substantial impacts on them. This can be
explained by the structure of brain with two different parts working for distinct purposes (Hein,
1996). Clearly, the noticeable part is the right brain where emotion comes from. Normally, this
part of brain does not function when children are studying, which tends to be the reason why
they are sometimes neglected, so there are no better ways for learners than making a full use of
both left and right brain. As a matter of fact, it is proven that the effectiveness of learning can
increase enormously (not just double) by this. Take Albert Einstein – a genius scientist for
example, his greatest invention – the Theory of Relativity was actually inspired by the work of
his right brain (Khoo, 1998, cited in Tran & Uong, 2010). To conclude, children had better take
advantage of their emotion for the sake of their performance at school as well as their future
success.

Finally, high EQ has been really efficient in helping kids gain soft skills as a preparation for life.
Thanks to the ability of socializing, children with high EQ would properly advance in
communication and group-work. More impressively, they also tend to take the position of a
leader in their team because a study of John J. Sosik and Lara E. Megerian (1999) has pointed
out that EQ is the basis of other factors contributing to leadership (Bliss, n.d.). In addition, high
EQ can result in good decision making. Many people may think that making decision just
depends on real facts, figures and situations; nonetheless, it is EQ which relates to all considered
(Murray, 2010). Another notice for every decision- maker, as insisted by William R. Murray, is
to looking at emotion of oneself and then others. This, evidently, requires a superior ability of
feeling and empathizing. All these skills are achievable, providing that children could learn and
practice them frequently.

2.3. How to develop children’s EQ?

Different from IQ which is somehow stable, EQ can be improved. Many scientists, including
Daniel Goleman have agreed on that statement. This claim has shed the light on children’s
nurture in terms of EQ. However, it is not parents, teachers or society who are able force children
how to feel, it is children themselves (Hein, 1996). In other words, no matter how hard adults
impose their thought on children’s mind, to be certain, they can only express what they
inherently think. Therefore, the most crucial question is how children’s EQ can be enhanced. The
answer for this needs special methods from both family and school.

Family is regarded as the ―first school‖ for children to gain better EQ (Goleman, cited in
Gottman, 1997). Parents who give birth to kids and raise them up, properly have an emotional
link to their minds (Johns Hopkins University, n.d.). Also, since parents are close to children
psychologically, they can affect children’s EQ the most through a variety of interactions. The
initial one is to act as attentive respondents. For instance, whenever kids prove to be curious and
want to ask something or they are eager for telling their own thoughts, parents should try to listen
to them patiently and support by giving encouraging feedback (Ramirez, n.d.). By this, children
will find their emotion essential. Otherwise, if parents ignore children’s feelings, they may lower
children’s concern about emotion. The second step for parents is to familiarize kids with specific
feelings (Ramirez, n.d.). It means that telling them what should be called “happy”, “surprising”
or “angry”. By a more appropriate approach, parents can help kids understand themselves.
Nevertheless, this may be still insufficient for a high EQ, when children have already known
their emotion, they need to learn how to control and overcome negative feelings (Lee, n.d.).
Although parents don’t want kids to get hurt, children should be promoted to gain experience
through failure as a way of training their will. At first, kids possibly undergo some extreme
feelings and lose their temper, but thereafter, they would calm down and get over the hardship.
Above all, children can realize that there is nothing scaring if they can take the control of their
emotion.

Apart from family, school also needs to be responsible for teaching kids about EQ. However, by
far, typical schools nowadays do not provide adequate support for children’s development when
it comes to EQ (Hein, 2008). Meanwhile, it is said that EQ can be improved more easily before
and during the teenage years of (McCluskey, 2000). Accordingly, as the right place for
education, schools should be in charge of raising children’s EQ. Firstly, new teaching methods
are necessary to innovate the recent system. Teachers, especially those at primary schools who
directly get involved in teaching and caring kids are the role models in this case, yet their
profound lessons about EQ, as asserted by Goleman (2001), don’t need to be chaotic. Children
can learn a lot when they observe teachers handling class, helping them with daily problems and
stimulating their attempts. Additionally, learning how to co-operate with other friends is a
worthy experience for an emotionally intelligent mind. Class including group-work and
discussing allows kids to develop the sense of community by teaching them how to get along
well with others (Goleman, 2001). The final suggestion is to offer pleasant activities towards the
target of forming a high EQ such as art and music clubs or voluntary work. Together with
teachers, parents had better take part in these practices to guide and play with children in order to
create a cozy and accustomed atmosphere.

3. Conclusion

The above analysis has shown that raising children’s EQ which appears profitable for their future
life is not a far- reaching goal. Then, more and more emphasis needs to be placed on not only the
physical but also the emotional education. To accomplish the target, school and family roles
should be associated as children’s nurture appeals for both practical aid. Indeed, the immense
benefits may come from the simplest attention to a child’s feelings. A new approach that values
the Emotional Intelligence would be the fundamental step to develop a qualified generation for
the society. Undoubtedly, this will take time, but it is worth pursuing by greatest efforts.
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