WILLIAM CARREY

UNIVERSITY
Assessment
SUBMITTED BY
ENROLLMENT NO: A2ETW07564306045

NAME: ANSHUMAN PRADHAN

CODE: DCE201
CLASS: 1ST YEAR 1ST SEM
SUB – CONTRIBUTOR PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT
 TOPIC
EXPLAIN THE PSYCHOLOGY OF PERSONALITY
DEVELOPMENT AND HOW OVERCONFIDENCE
DESTROYS
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF
PERSONALITY
DEVELOPMENT
Personality development refers to the process
of developing, enhancing, and changing one's
personality over time. Such development
occurs naturally over the course of life, but it
can also be modified through intentional
efforts.
When we meet new people, it is often
their personality that grabs our attention.
According to the American Psychological
Association, personality refers to the enduring
behaviors, traits, emotional patterns, and
abilities that make up a person's response to
the events of their life.1
“Personality is a blend of behavioral and
thought patterns that are relatively stable
over time, characterizing an individual's traits
and attitudes," says Ludovica Colella, a CBT
therapist and author of "The Feel Good
Journal."
Understanding how personality develops can
provide insight into who someone is and their
background while also increasing our
understanding of what's behind our
personality traits and characteristics.
At a Glance
Personality development involves all of the
factors that influence how our personalities
form and change over time. This can include
our genetic background and the environment
where we are raised. While personality tends
to be pretty stable, it can change over time,
especially as people get older.
This article discusses how personality is
defined, different theories on how personality
forms, and what you can do if you are
interested in changing certain aspects of your
own personality.
HEXACO Personality Test: History, Facets,
Benefits, Drawbacks
What Is Personality Development?
Personality development refers to the process
by which the organized thought and behavior
patterns that make up a person's unique
personality emerge over time. Many factors
influence personality, including genetics and
environment, how we were parented, and
societal variables.2
While personality is relatively stable, Colella
notes that it isn't entirely fixed. "People can
undergo changes in their attitudes, behaviors,
and thought patterns in response to new
experiences or personal growth,” she
explains.
Perhaps most importantly, the ongoing
interaction of all these influences continues to
shape personality. Personality involves both
inborn traits and the development of cognitive
and behavioral patterns that influence how we
think and act.
Temperament is a key part of personality that
is determined by inherited traits. Character is
an aspect of personality influenced by
experience and social learning that continues
to grow and change throughout life.3
Personality development has been a major
topic of interest for some of the most
prominent thinkers in psychology. Since the
inception of psychology as a separate science,
researchers have proposed a variety of ideas
to explain how and why personality develops.
Theories of Personality Development
Our personalities make us unique, but how
does personality develop? What factors play
the most important role in the formation of
personality? Can personality change?
To answer these questions, many prominent
thinkers have developed theories to describe
the various steps and stages that occur
during the development of personality. The
following theories focus on several aspects of
personality formation—including those that
involve cognitive, social, and moral
development.
Freud’s Stages of Psychosexual Development
In his well-known stage theory of
psychosexual development, Sigmund Freud
suggested that personality develops in stages
that are related to specific erogenous zones.
These stages are:
 Stage 1: Oral stage (birth to 1 year)
 Stage 2: Anal stage (1 to 3 years)
 Stage 3: Phallic stage (3 to 6 years)
  Stage 4: Latent period (age 6 to puberty)
 Stage 5: Genital stage (puberty to death)
Freud also believed that failure to complete
these stages would lead to personality
problems in adulthood.4
In addition to being one of the best-known
thinkers in personality development, Sigmund
Freud remains one of the most controversial.
While he made significant contributions to the
field of psychology, some of his more disputed
and unproven theories, such as his theory of
psychosexual development, have been
rejected by modern scientists.
Freud's Structural Model of Personality
Freud not only theorized about how
personality developed over the course of
childhood, but he also developed a framework
for how overall personality is structured.
According to Freud, the basic driving force of
personality and behavior is known as
the libido. This libidinal energy fuels the three
components that make up personality: the id,
the ego, and the superego.5
  The id is the aspect of personality present
at birth. It is the most primal part of the
personality and drives people to fulfill their
most basic needs and urges.
 The ego is the aspect of personality
charged with controlling the urges of the
id and forcing it to behave in realistic
ways.
 The superego is the final aspect of
personality to develop and contains all of
the ideals, morals, and values imbued by
our parents and culture.
According to Freud, these three elements of
personality work together to create complex
human behaviors. The superego attempts to
make the ego behave according to these
ideals. The ego must then moderate between
the primal needs of the id, the idealistic
standards of the superego, and reality.
Freud's concept of the id, ego, and superego
has gained prominence in popular culture,
despite a lack of support and considerable
skepticism from many researchers.6
While Freudian theory is less relevant today
than it once was, it can be helpful to learn
more about these theories in order to better
understand the history of research on
personality development.
What Are the Id, Ego, and Superego?
Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development
Erik Erikson’s eight-stage theory of human
development is another well-known theory in
psychology. While it builds on Freud’s stages
of psychosexual development, Erikson chose
to focus on how social relationships impact
personality development.
The theory also extends beyond childhood to
look at development across the entire
lifespan.
Erikson's eight stages are:7
 Stage 1: Trust versus mistrust (birth to 1
year)
 Stage 2: Autonomy versus shame and
doubt (1 to 2 years)
 Stage 3: Initiative versus guilt (3 to 5
years)
 Stage 4: Industry versus inferiority (6 to
11 years)
 Stage 5: Identity versus role
confusion (12 to 18 years)
  Stage 6: Intimacy versus isolation (19 to
40 years)
 Stage 7: Generativity versus
stagnation (41 to 64 years)
 Stage 8: Integrity versus despair (65
years to death)
At each stage, people face a crisis in which a
task must be mastered. Those who
successfully complete that stage emerge with
a sense of mastery and well-being.
However, Erikson believed that those who do
not resolve the crisis at a particular stage
may struggle with those skills for the
remainder of their lives.8
Piaget’s Stages of Cognitive Development
Jean Piaget’s theory of cognitive
development remains one of the most
frequently cited in psychology.9
While many aspects of Piaget's theory have
not stood the test of time, the central idea
remains important today: Children think
differently than adults.
According to Piaget, children progress through
a series of four stages that are marked by
distinctive changes in how they think. And
how children think about themselves, others,
and the world around them plays an essential
role in personality development.
Piaget's four stages are:9
 Stage 1: Sensorimotor stage (birth to 2
years)
 Stage 2: Preoperational stage (2 to 7
years)
 Stage 3: Concrete operational stage (7 to
11 years)
 Stage 4: Formal operational stage (12
years and up)
Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development
Lawrence Kohlberg developed a theory of
personality development that focused on the
growth of moral thought. Building on a two-
stage process proposed by Piaget, Kohlberg
expanded the theory to include six different
stages:10
 Stage 1: Obedience and punishment
 Stage 2: Individualism and exchange
 Stage 3: Developing good interpersonal
relationships
  Stage 4: Maintaining social order
 Stage 5: Social contract and individual
rights
 Stage 6: Universal principles
These stages are separated by levels. Level
one is the pre-conventional level, it includes
stages one and two, and takes place from
birth to 9 years. Level two is the conventional
level, it includes stages three and four, and
takes place from age 10 to adolescence. Level
three is the post-conventional level, it
includes stages five and six, and takes place
in adulthood.10
Although this theory includes six stages,
Kohlberg felt that it was rare for people to
progress beyond stage four, stressing that
these moral development stages are not
correlated with the maturation process.11
Kohlberg's theory of moral development has
been criticized for several different reasons.
One primary criticism is that it does not
accommodate different genders and cultures
equally.10 Yet, the theory remains important in
our understanding of how personality
develops.
Why Personality Theories Matter
While these theories suggest different
numbers and types of stages, and different
ages for progressing from one stage to the
next, they have all influenced what we know
today about personality development.
5 Basic Personality Traits
The goal of personality development theories
is to explain how we each develop our own
unique characteristics and traits. While the list
of options could be almost endless, most of
these personality traits fall into five basic
categories:12
 Openness: Level of creativeness and
responsiveness to change
 Conscientiousness: Level of organization
and attention to detail
 Extraversion: Level of socialness and
emotional expressiveness
 Agreeableness: Level of interest in
others and cooperativeness
 Neuroticism: Level of emotional stability
and moodiness
The "Big 5" is one of the most recognized
models of personality and also the most
widely used, though some suggest that it isn't
comprehensive enough to cover the huge
variety of personality traits that one can grow
and develop.13
Personality Development Tips
Theorists such as Freud believed that
personality was largely set in stone fairly
early in life. However, we now recognize that
personality can change over time.
Research suggests that a person's broad
traits are quite stable, but changes do
happen, particularly as people age.14
On a global level, people spend a lot of money
on personal development, with this market
bringing in more than $38 billion annually
(and expected to grow).15 If you're interested
in making positive changes to your
personality, these tips can help:
Identify Your Current Traits
Colella notes that self-awareness and
reflection are an essential part of personal
growth. She suggests that you can start by
learning more about your traits, strengths,
and weaknesses.
Reflect on your behaviors and how they
impact your life and relationships. This self-
awareness lays the foundation for personal
growth.
— LUDOVICA COLELLA, CBT THERAPIST
You won't know where to place your efforts if
you don't identify the personality traits you
need to work on. A personality test can
provide an assessment of your current traits.
Pick one or two traits to work on that you feel
would help you grow as a person and focus on
them.
Identify Your Values
Colella also suggests that it is important to
identify your core values. You can do this by
thinking about the values that are the most
important to you. After you do this, you can
prioritize your goals and better reflect on how
your behaviors and actions align with your
goals and values.
Set a Daily Personal Development Goal
Commit to doing at least one thing every day
to help develop your personality. This doesn't
have to be a big action either. Even baby
steps will move you in the right direction.
Keep a Positive Mindset
It is also important to work on forging
a growth mindset, Colella explains. This
allows you to recognize that personality is not
set it stone and can instead evolve over time.
"Embrace challenges, learn from failures, and
see setbacks as opportunities for growth,"
Colella says.
Changing yourself can be difficult, especially if
you're working on a part of your personality
you've had for a long time. Staying positive
along the way helps you pay more attention
to the pros versus the cons. It also makes the
journey more enjoyable for you and everyone
around you.
Be Confident
When you have something about yourself that
you'd like to change, it can be easy to let your
perceived imperfection reduce your
confidence. Yet, you can be confident and
continue to develop your personality in
meaningful ways at the same time, giving you
the best of both worlds while pursuing
personality development.
Stepping outside your comfort zone can be
challenging, Colella notes, but slowly
expanding your horizons can lead to gradual
growth. "Expanding your comfort zone
involves taking small, manageable steps,
gradually pushing your limits at a pace that
feels comfortable for you," she explains.

CAN YOU CHANGE YOUR

PERSONALITY
The desire to alter personality is not
uncommon. Shy people might wish they were
more outgoing and talkative. Hot-tempered
individuals might wish they could keep their
cool in emotionally charged situations.
Is it possible to change your personality or are
our basic personality patterns fixed
throughout life? While self-help books and
websites often tout plans you can follow to
change your habits and behaviors, there is a
persistent belief that our underlying
personalities are impervious to change.
The Austrian psychoanalyst Sigmund
Freud suggested that personality was largely
set in stone by the tender age of 5.1 Even
many modern psychologists suggest that
overall personality is relatively fixed and
stable throughout life.2
But what if you want to change your
personality? Can the right approach and hard
work lead to real personality change, or are
we stuck with undesirable traits that hold us
back from achieving our goals?
How Personality Impacts Our Daily Lives
Factors That Shape Personality
To understand whether personality can be
changed, we must first understand what
exactly causes personality. The age-
old nature versus nurture debate once again
comes into play. Is personality shaped by
our genetics (nature) or by our
upbringing, experiences, and environment
(nurture)?
In the past, theorists and philosophers often
took a one-versus-the-other approach and
advocated either for the importance of nature
or nurture, but today most thinkers would
agree that it is a mixture of the two forces
that ultimately shape our personalities.3
Not only that, but the constant interaction
between genetics and the environment can
help shape how personality is expressed. For
example, you might be genetically
predisposed to being friendly and laid back,
but working in a high-stress environment
might lead you to be more short-tempered
and uptight than you might be in a different
setting.
Dweck relates a story of identical twin boys
separated after birth and reared apart.4 As
adults, the two men married women with the
same first names, shared similar hobbies, and
had similar levels of certain traits measured
on personality assessments.
It is such examples that provide the basis for
the idea that our personalities are largely out
of our control. Instead of being shaped by our
environment and unique experiences, these
twin studies point to the power of genetic
influences.
Genetics is certainly important, but other
studies also demonstrate that our upbringing
and even our culture interact with our genetic
blueprints to shape who we are.
Are Personality Traits Caused by Genes or
Environment?
"In-Between" Qualities of Personality
Some experts, including psychologist Carol
Dweck, believe that changing the behavior
patterns, habits, and beliefs that lie under the
surface of the broad personality
traits (e.g., introversion, agreeableness) is the
real key to personality change.4
Broad traits might be stable through life, but
Dweck believes that it is our "in-between"
qualities that lie under the surface of the
broad traits that are the most important in
making us who we are. It is those in-between
qualities, she believes, that can be changed. 4
"In-between" qualities that we can potentially
change, thereby also changing our personality
include:
 Beliefs and belief systems. While
changing certain aspects of your
personality might be challenging, you can
realistically tackle changing some of the
underlying beliefs that help shape and
control how your personality is
expressed.4
 Goals and coping strategies. For
example, while you might have more of
a Type A personality, you can learn new
coping skills and stress management
techniques that help you become a more
relaxed person.5
Beliefs and Self-Beliefs
While changing beliefs might not necessarily
be easy, it offers a good starting point. Our
beliefs shape so much of our lives, from how
we view ourselves and others, how we
function in daily life, how we deal with life's
challenges, and how we forge connections
with other people.
If we can create real change in our beliefs, it
is something that might have a resounding
effect on our behaviors and possibly on
certain aspects of our personalities.
"People's beliefs include their mental
representations of the nature and workings of
the self, of their relationships, and of their
world. From infancy, humans develop these
beliefs and representations, and many
prominent personality theorists of different
persuasions acknowledge that they are a
fundamental part of personality," Dweck
explained in a 2008 paper.4
Take, for example, beliefs about the self,
including whether personal attributes and
characteristics are fixed or malleable. If you
believe your intelligence is at a fixed level,
then you are not likely to take steps to
deepen your thinking. If, however, you view
such characteristics as changeable, you will
likely make a greater effort to challenge
yourself and broaden your mind.
Obviously, beliefs about the self do play a
critical role in how people function, but
researchers have found that people can
change their beliefs in order to take a more
malleable approach to self-attributes.
In one experiment, students had a greater
appreciation of academics, higher grade point
averages, and greater overall enjoyment of
school after discovering that the brain
continues to form new connections in
response to new knowledge.6
Dweck's own research has demonstrated that
how kids are praised can have an impact on
their self-beliefs.7 Those who are praised for
their intelligence tend to hold fixed-theory
beliefs about their own personal attributes.
These kids view their intelligence as an
unchangeable trait; you either have it or you
don't.
Children who are praised for their efforts, on
the other hand, typically view their
intelligence as malleable. These kids, Dweck
has found, tend to persist in the face of
difficulty and are more eager to learn.
How to Change Your Personality
At many points in your life, you may find that
there are certain aspects of your personality
that you wish you could change. You might
even set goals and work toward tackling those
potentially problematic traits. For example, it
is common to set New Year's
Resolutions focused on changing parts of your
personality such as becoming more generous,
kind, patient, or outgoing.
In general, many experts agree that making
real and lasting changes to broad traits can
be exceedingly difficult. So, if you are
dissatisfied with certain aspects of your
personality, is there really anything you can
do to change them?
Changing from an introvert to
an extravert might be extremely difficult (or
even impossible), but there are things that
the experts believe you can do to make real
and lasting changes to aspects of your
personality. Here's how to change your
personality if you want to be a better person.
Learn New Habits
Psychologists have found that people who
exhibit positive personality traits (such as
kindness and honesty) have developed
habitual responses that have stuck.8 Habit can
be learned, so changing your habitual
responses over time is one way to create
personality change.
Of course, forming a new habit or breaking an
old one is never easy and it takes time and
serious effort. With enough practice, these
new patterns of behavior will eventually
become second nature.
Challenge Your Self-Beliefs
If you believe you cannot change, then you
will not change. If you are trying to become
more outgoing, but you believe that your
introversion is a fixed, permanent, and
unchangeable trait, then you will simply never
try to become more sociable. But if you
believe that your personal attributes are
changeable, you are more likely to make an
effort to become more gregarious.
Focus on Your Efforts
Dweck's research has consistently shown that
praising efforts rather than ability is
essential.7 Instead of thinking "I'm so smart"
or "I'm so talented," replace such phrases
with "I worked really hard" or "I found a good
way of solving that problem."
By shifting to more of a growth mindset rather
than a fixed mindset, you may find that it is
easier to experience real change and growth.
Act the Part
Positive psychologist Christopher Peterson
realized early on that his introverted
personality might have a detrimental impact
on his career as an academic. To overcome
this, he decided to start acting extroverted in
situations that called for it, like when
delivering a lecture to a class full of students
or giving a presentation at a conference.
Eventually, these behaviors simply become
second nature. While he suggested that he
was still an introvert, he learned how to
become extroverted when he needed to be. 9

A Word From Verywell

Personality change might not be easy, and
changing some broad traits might never really
be fully possible. But researchers do believe
that there are things you can do to change
certain parts of your personality, the aspects
that exist beneath the level of those broad
traits, that can result in real changes to the
way you act, think, and function in your day-
to-day life.

WHY TOO MUCH SELF

CONFIDENCE IS A BAD
THING ?
Under most circumstances, having plenty of
self-confidence is a good thing. Confident
people tend to be more successful in a wide
variety of domains. This strong sense of
confidence and self-esteem allows people to
go out in the world and reach for their goals.
In his book Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of
Control, psychologist Albert
Bandura explained that confidence, more
than any other quality, contributes to positive
outcomes when pursuing goals. But is it ever
possible to have too much confidence?
Sometimes, confidence might be confused
with being conceited or being full of yourself.
While narcissism and self-conceit are
generally negative qualities, even excessive
self-confidence can create problems,
particularly when it isn't realistic.
At a Glance
In most cases, knowing your strengths and
having the assuredness to go out and take
risks are admirable qualities. There are times,
however, when having too much confidence
can become a problem. When excessive or
unfounded confidence makes you inflexible
and incapable of listening to others, it can
harm your success and well-being.
The Problem With Too Much Confidence
Excessive self-confidence can cause a number
of problems in an individual's personal, social,
and professional life.1
 Missed opportunities, such as not
taking on projects because they seem to
easy or beneath your abilities
  Taking on too much, such as saying yes
to projects that you lack the skills to
complete
 Social consequences, such as alienating
friends by coming across as arrogant
 Workplace consequences, such as
coming off as overly conceited without the
requisite skill
 Relationship issues can result from
being too concerned with your capacities
and performance and not enough with
your partner's
Some research has suggested that kids with
higher self-esteem are more likely to engage
in risk-taking behaviors.2
People with high self-esteem also tended to
have worse relationships because they
blamed their partners for any problems with
the relationship. High self-esteem was also
linked to a higher frequency of violent and
aggressive behaviors.
When Too Much Confidence Is Unfounded
The problem with too much self-confidence is
that it often involves a grandiose view of the
self without much substance behind it. People
who think they are the best, smartest, or most
qualified are, after all, sometimes the worst,
most uninformed, and least qualified. Except
they are often the only ones unaware of their
shortcomings, a phenomenon known as
the Dunning-Kruger effect.
In other cases, excessive self-confidence
involves ignoring the needs of others in favor
of one's own interests.
This can lead to major problems in all kinds of
relationships, including romantic partnerships,
friendships, and family ties. After all, who
wants to spend time with someone who thinks
he is better than everyone else and who only
thinks about himself?
The Effects of Having Too Much Confidence
That isn't to suggest that self-esteem and
confidence are bad things. In some situations,
even excessive self-confidence can actually
lead to some success.
Highly self-confident people can sometimes bluff
their way through situations, convincing others that
they truly have the abilities behind their inflated
sense of self.
In other cases, excess confidence can be seen
as deceit or even narcissism. Such qualities
might make an employee less appealing to
current and future employers.
Overconfidence in our abilities is something
that happens to everyone once in a while. You
might overestimate your ability to finish a
project by a certain date, only to run out of
time before the project is due. Fortunately,
such overconfidence is often self-correcting.
Just a few instances of turning in late or
shoddy work is probably enough to make you
take a serious look at your time management
skills. The next time a project is due, you are
more likely to manage your time wisely and
be more realistic about how long it will take
you to complete the work.
When this overconfidence is habitual, more
serious and often lasting consequences can
arise.
What Causes Too Much Confidence?
A number of different factors can contribute
to excessive levels of self-confidence. Factors
that can shape how a person's sense of self
develops include:3
 Upbringing
 Culture
 Personality
 Past experiences
We are all essentially the center of our own
universes, so it isn't really surprising that our
own perceptions, experiences, thoughts,
needs, and wants loom largest in our minds.
But why do some people seem to form such
an exaggerated sense of self?
Research suggests that certain cognitive
biases can play a role in contributing to
overconfidence in one's own opinions and
ideas. These biases cause people to interpret
events and experiences in ways biased
toward their beliefs, attitudes, and opinions.4
This leads people to believe that their own
way of thinking and acting is superior and
"correct." They fail to consider how they
might benefit from other ideas and don't
consider the possible drawbacks to their
approach. It is this illusion of personal
infallibility that can contribute to having too
much confidence.
The Components of Attitude
What Does It Mean to Have Too Much Confidence?
So how do we determine what levels of self-
confidence are appropriate? And are such
levels the same for different people and
across different situations? Self-confidence is
not just a psychological construct; it is also
heavily influenced by culture.
Cultural Factors
Individualistic cultures, for example, tend to
prize self-confidence more highly than
do collectivist cultures. Society’s expectations
for how much confidence people should have
exerts a powerful influence on how we
perceive confidence both in ourselves and in
others.
For example, during the earlier half of the
20th century, self-confidence was sometimes
viewed as a detriment, depending upon who
you were. People were expected to obey
authority figures, including those older or
ranked higher in the social hierarchy.
Self-confidence in children and women was
particularly frowned upon since traditional
gender and age roles suggest that children
and women should be passive and
submissive.
Times Have Changed
As the cultural tides have shifted, society’s
expectations in terms of self-confidence have
also changed. People are encouraged to be
independent and self-esteem has become a
prized characteristic. Parents want their
children to be self-confident, to know what
they want, and to have the motivation to
achieve their goals.
Social Norms and Perceptions of Confidence
How we perceive self-confidence is not always
consistent from one individual to the next. For
example, research has found that women
leaders who behave the same as men in the
same roles are more likely to be perceived as
bossy, emotional, or aggressive.5
This confidence double standard makes it
more difficult for women to be promoted in
the workplace and to rise to leadership
positions. The behaviors needed to succeed in
the workplace are the very same ones that
women are often punished for exhibiting.
The Costs of Going Against Social Norms
Research also suggests that we tend to
penalize others when they behave in ways
that are considered violations of social
norms.6 Norms dictate that men should be
confident and assertive, while women are
often expected to be nurturing and warm.
Behaving outside these norms can have a
number of consequences for both men and
women. Men who are not highly assertive
may be seen as timid or weak, while women
who are self-assured are viewed as bossy.6
Gender Schema Theory and Roles in Culture
Is It Overconfidence or Bias?
In many cases, it may not be that people are
too confident. Instead, unspoken gender
norms and stereotypes may cause people,
especially women, to be judged as
overconfident when they are really just
expressing normal levels of assertiveness.
Certain expressions of confidence, however,
may not carry the same social and
professional risks that other displays of self-
confidence might. Researchers have found
that women who expressed dominance
through body language and facial
expressions, such as standing tall and using a
loud voice, did not suffer the same loss in
social perception.6
While this obviously does not solve the
problem of gender bias, such research does
point to ways that people can express
confidence without being labeled as “too
confident.”
Kids and Overconfidence
Another example of how perceptions of
confidence can be influenced by culture is
how kids are sometimes viewed by older
adults. Criticisms of youth often suggest that
today’s kids are frequently the recipients of
so-called “participation trophies.”7
In other words, some people suggest that
children receive praise for simply
participating, not for the actual content of
their performance.
Such praise is designed to build confidence
and self-esteem. Critics suggest that this
approach leads to a sense of entitlement or
even unearned confidence. That children
move into adulthood believing that simply
showing up is enough to succeed, making it
harder to accept when this success does not
come so easy.7
Praising Efforts Creates Growth Mindsets
However, researchers such as psychologist
Carol Dweck have found that praising effort
plays a critical role in building what is known
as a growth mindset. A mindset is an
underlying belief about intelligence and
learning.
People with a fixed mindset tend to believe
that intelligence is an inborn trait. Those with
a growth mindset believe that they can
become smarter through their own efforts.8
Theories of Intelligence in Psychology
People with fixed mindsets tend to give up in
the face of challenges because they believe
they simply lack the innate traits and skills
needed for success. Those with growth
mindsets, on the other hand, have the
confidence and understanding that they can
overcome the challenge through study,
practice, and effort.
So what’s the best way to build confidence
and a growth mindset? Dweck suggests that
praising efforts, rather than outcomes, is the
key. Doing this helps kids realize that their
own efforts and actions determine the
outcomes, which helps them gain the
confidence they need to keep soldiering
forward even in the face of difficulty.
This doesn't mean lavishing praise on kids for
doing nothing. Rather, it means recognizing
their efforts instead of only focusing on the
results.
So why do older generations perceive younger
people as overly confident? Are today’s kids
really too confident for their own good?
This perception is more likely due to shifts in
cultural norms and expectations. Older
generations were encouraged to be quiet,
obedient, and out of the way. Seen, but not
heard, was typically described as the ideal
when it came to kids. Culture has shifted, as
has our understanding of child
development and children’s needs.
What This Means
It may not be that kids today are too
confident; they are simply allowed a level of
self-expression that older generations may
not have gotten to enjoy as children.
Is Your Confidence Too High, Too Low, or Just
Right?
Is it possible that you have too much self-
confidence? For many people, the answer to
that question is probably not.
People often tend to deal with the opposite
problem—having too little confidence. So, if
you have a solid sense of self and the
assuredness to go after what you want in life,
that's great!
If your sense of self extends to caring about
and being concerned with the lives of others,
then your confidence levels are probably just
about right.
If you are focused purely on yourself leaving
little room for other people, then there might
be a problem. There’s nothing wrong with
being confident.
However, if this confidence is expressed
as narcissism or grandiosity that damages
your relationships, then there is a chance that
it may be excessive. Or that you are
expressing this confidence in a way that is not
helping your health and relationships.
How Emotion Regulation Skills Promote
Stability
Tips for Building Realistic Confidence
So, what can people do to ensure their self-
confidence is realistic, authentic, and socially
appropriate?
Focus on the Effort, Not the Outcome
Whether you are evaluating your own success
or offering praise to your children, try to place
a greater emphasis on the work that went into
the task rather than just focusing on how
things turned out. You cannot always control
how things go, but you can control the
amount of work you put into achieving your
goals.
Keep Learning New Things
Even if you are highly confident about your
skills in an area, keep looking for new
challenges. It is easy to become overconfident
if we think we know everything there is to
know about a subject. Finding new challenges
to overcome not only sharpens your skills; it
also reminds you that there are fresh ways of
thinking about things.
Listen to What Others Have to Say
Overconfidence can sometimes cause people
to become rigid and even dogmatic. Instead
of assuming that your way is the right or only
way, try to keep an open mind. You might not
always agree with other people, but it is
important to listen in order to gain a new
perspective.
Help Kids Build Confidence
When helping children develop healthy levels
of confidence and esteem, praising them for
efforts is only one part of the puzzle.
Confidence also comes from having the love
and support of dependable caregivers, as well
as a solid guidance system that balances
rewards with appropriate boundaries.
In such settings, children are able to explore
the world, discover their personal strengths
and limits, and develop the ability to self-
regulate.
What This Means For You
Self-confidence is usually something people
wish they could improve, yet sometimes
excessive confidence levels can be a problem.
When confidence becomes arrogance, it can
alienate others and make it challenging to
succeed socially and professionally.
Developing a healthy sense of self-confidence
is vital to success. Such confidence allows
people to believe in their ability to overcome
challenges and overcome obstacles. Strive to
strike the right balance with a strong sense of
self-confidence without the pomposity of
egocentrism.