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THIRD EDITION
Image and Video Compression for
MULTIMEDIA
ENGINEERING
FUNDAMENTALS, ALGORITHMS, AND STANDARDS
Image and Video Compression for Multimedia Engineering: Fundamentals, Algorithms, and
Standards, by Yun-Qing Shi and Huifang Sun
Single-Sensor Imaging: Methods and Applications for Digital Cameras, edited by Rastislav Lukac
Multimedia Image and Video Processing, edited by Ling Guan, Yifeng He, and Sun-Yuan Kung
Image and Video Compression for Multimedia Engineering: Fundamentals, Algorithms, and
Standards, Third Edition, edited by Yun-Qing Shi and Huifang Sun
This book contains information obtained from authentic and highly regarded sources. Reasonable efforts have been made
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and
Xuedong, Min, Yin, Andrew, Rich, Haixin, Allison, Adam, Emily, Kailey
Contents
Part I Fundamentals
1. Introduction .............................................................................................................................3
1.1 Practical Needs for Image and Video Compression ................................................4
1.2 Feasibility of Image and Video Compression ........................................................... 5
1.2.1 Statistical Redundancy....................................................................................5
1.2.1.1 Spatial Redundancy .........................................................................5
1.2.1.2 Temporal Redundancy .................................................................... 8
1.2.1.3 Coding Redundancy ........................................................................9
1.2.2 Psychovisual Redundancy ........................................................................... 10
1.2.2.1 Luminance Masking ...................................................................... 11
1.2.2.2 Texture Masking............................................................................. 14
1.2.2.3 Frequency Masking........................................................................ 14
1.2.2.4 Temporal Masking ......................................................................... 14
1.2.2.5 Color Masking ................................................................................ 16
1.2.2.6 Color Masking and Its Application in Video Compression ....... 19
1.2.2.7 Summary: Differential Sensitivity ............................................... 20
1.3 Visual Quality Measurement .................................................................................... 20
1.3.1 Subjective Quality Measurement ................................................................ 21
1.3.2 Objective Quality Measurement..................................................................22
1.3.2.1 Signal-to-Noise Ratio .....................................................................22
1.3.2.2 An Objective Quality Measure Based on Human Visual
Perception ........................................................................................23
1.4 Information Theory Results ...................................................................................... 27
1.4.1 Entropy ............................................................................................................ 27
1.4.1.1 Information Measure ..................................................................... 27
1.4.1.2 Average Information per Symbol................................................. 28
1.4.2 Shannon’s Noiseless Source Coding Theorem .......................................... 28
1.4.3 Shannon’s Noisy Channel Coding Theorem ............................................. 29
1.4.4 Shannon’s Source Coding Theorem ............................................................ 29
1.4.5 Information Transmission Theorem ........................................................... 30
1.5 Summary ...................................................................................................................... 30
Exercises .................................................................................................................................. 31
References ............................................................................................................................... 32
vii
viii Contents
2. Quantization .......................................................................................................................... 33
2.1 Quantization and the Source Encoder ..................................................................... 33
2.2 Uniform Quantization ................................................................................................ 35
2.2.1 Basics................................................................................................................ 36
2.2.1.1 Definitions ....................................................................................... 36
2.2.1.2 Quantization Distortion ................................................................ 38
2.2.1.3 Quantizer Design ........................................................................... 39
2.2.2 Optimum Uniform Quantizer ..................................................................... 40
2.2.2.1 Uniform Quantizer with Uniformly Distributed Input ............40
2.2.2.2 Conditions of Optimum Quantization .......................................42
2.2.2.3 Optimum Uniform Quantizer with Different Input
Distributions ...................................................................................43
2.3 Nonuniform Quantization ........................................................................................ 45
2.3.1 Optimum (Nonuniform) Quantization ...................................................... 45
2.3.2 Companding Quantization .......................................................................... 45
2.4 Adaptive Quantization............................................................................................... 49
2.4.1 Forward Adaptive Quantization ................................................................. 50
2.4.2 Backward Adaptive Quantization............................................................... 51
2.4.3 Adaptive Quantization with a One-Word Memory ................................. 52
2.4.4 Switched Quantization ................................................................................. 52
2.5 PCM............................................................................................................................... 53
2.6 Summary ...................................................................................................................... 56
Exercises .................................................................................................................................. 57
References ............................................................................................................................... 57
6. Run-Length and Dictionary Coding: Information Theory Results (III) ................ 143
6.1 Markov Source Model .............................................................................................. 143
6.1.1 Discrete Markov Source .............................................................................. 144
6.1.2 Extensions of a Discrete Markov Source .................................................. 145
6.1.2.1 Definition ....................................................................................... 145
6.1.2.2 Entropy .......................................................................................... 145
6.1.3 Autoregressive Model ................................................................................. 146
Contents xi
15. Further Discussion and Summary on 2-D Motion Estimation ................................. 357
15.1 General Characterization ......................................................................................... 357
15.1.1 Aperture Problem ....................................................................................... 357
15.1.2 Ill-Posed Inverse Problem .......................................................................... 357
15.1.3 Conservation Information and Neighborhood Information ................ 358
15.1.4 Occlusion and Disocclusion ...................................................................... 358
15.1.5 Rigid and Nonrigid Motion ...................................................................... 359
15.2 Different Classifications ........................................................................................... 360
15.2.1 Deterministic Methods vs. Stochastic Methods ..................................... 360
15.2.2 Spatial Domain Methods vs. Frequency Domain Methods ................. 360
15.2.2.1 Optical-Flow Determination Using Gabor Energy Filters ..... 361
15.2.3 Region-Based Approaches vs. Gradient-Based Approaches ................364
15.2.4 Forward vs. Backward Motion Estimation ............................................. 365
15.3 Performance Comparison between Three Major Approaches ........................... 367
15.3.1 Three Representatives ................................................................................ 367
15.3.2 Algorithm Parameters ................................................................................ 367
15.3.3 Experimental Results and Observations ................................................. 367
15.4 New Trends ................................................................................................................ 368
15.4.1 DCT-Based Motion Estimation ................................................................. 368
15.4.1.1 DCT and DST Pseudophases.................................................... 368
15.4.1.2 Sinusoidal Orthogonal Principle ............................................. 370
15.4.1.3 Performance Comparison ......................................................... 371
15.5 Summary.................................................................................................................... 371
Exercises ................................................................................................................................ 372
References ............................................................................................................................. 372
21.3.4 Intra Frame Coding with Directional Spatial Prediction ..................... 536
21.3.5 Adaptive Block Size Motion Compensation ........................................... 536
21.3.6 Motion Compensation with Multiple References .................................. 537
21.3.7 Entropy Coding........................................................................................... 538
21.3.8 Loop Filter ....................................................................................................543
21.3.9 Error Resilience Tools .................................................................................545
21.4 Profiles and Levels of H.264/AVC ..........................................................................546
21.4.1 Profiles of H.264/AVC ................................................................................. 547
21.4.2 Levels of H.264/AVC ...................................................................................548
21.5 Summary.................................................................................................................... 550
Exercises ................................................................................................................................ 550
References ............................................................................................................................. 550
When looking at the prefaces of the first and second editions of this book published in 1999
and 2008, respectively, it is observed that the most of analyses, discussion and estimation
made there are still correct. The image and video compression as well as audio compres-
sion continue to play an important role in multimedia engineering. The trend of switch-
ing from analog to digital communications continues. Digital image and video, digital
multimedia, Internet, world wide web (WWW) have been continuously and vigorously
growing in the past 10 years. Therefore, in this third edition of the book, we have kept the
most of material in the second edition with some new additions. Some major changes we
have made are listed as follows.
First, in this book’s third edition, one chapter has been added (new Chapter 7), which
briefly introduces the digital watermarking technology. Furthermore, the so-called revers-
ible data hiding and information forensics have been briefly introduced.
Second, two new chapters describing the recently developed video coding standard,
HEVC/H.265 (Chapter 22) and IVC (Chapter 23) are added into the third edition. New
Chapter 22 introduces HEVC/H.265 which is the video coding standard, and has greatly
improved the coding efficiency compared with currently existing video coding standards.
In the new Chapter 23 an MPEG royalty free video coding standards has been introduced,
which is used for applications of internet video transmission. Third, for the previous
Chapter 21 covering the system part of MPEG, multiplexing/demultiplexing and synchro-
nizing the coded audio, video and other data has been changed as Chapter 24 in this
new addition. Since we have added two new MPEG Transport standards: MPEG media
transport (MMT) and MPEG DASH (Dynamic Adaptive Streaming over HTTP) into this
chapter, we change the title of this chapter to MPEG Transportation Standards.
For the rest of this new edition, we just made some minor changes and, of course, we
reorganized the chapter orders.
xxiii
Acknowledgments
We are pleased to express our gratitude for the support and help we received during the
course of writing this book.
Dr. Yun-Qing Shi thanks his friend and former colleague Dr. C. Q. Shu for fruitful tech-
nical discussion related to some contents of the book. Sincere thanks are also directed to
several of his friends and former students, Drs. J. N. Pan, X. Xia, S. Lin and Y. Shi, for their
technical contributions and computer simulations related to some subjects of the book. He
is grateful to Ms. L. Fitton for her English editing of 11 chapters, and to Dr. Z. F. Chen for
her help in preparing many graphics.
Dr. Huifang Sun expresses his appreciation to many friends and colleagues of the
MPEGers who provided MPEG documents and tutorial materials that are cited in some
revised chapters of this edition. He extends his appreciation to his colleague Dr. Anthony
Vetro for his supports and providing a good working environment to complete this revised
edition.
We would like to express our deep appreciation to Dr. Z. F. Chen for her great help in
formatting all the chapters of the book. We both thank Dr. F. Chichester for his help in
preparing the book.
Special thanks go to the editor-in-chief of the CRC Press Digital Image Processing book
series, Dr. P. Laplante, for his constant encouragement and guidance. The help from the
publisher of Electrical Engineering at CRC Press, Nora Konopka, is also appreciated.
The last, but not the least, we thank our families for their patient support during the
course of the writing. Without their understanding and support, we would not have been
able to complete this book.
xxv
Authors
Yun-Qing Shi has been a professor with the Department of Electrical and Computer
Engineering at the New Jersey Institute of Technology (NJIT), Newark, NJ, since 1987. He
has authored and co-authored more than 300 papers in his research areas, a book on Image
and Video Compression, three book chapters on Image Data Hiding, one book chapter on
Steganalysis, and one book chapter on Digital Image Processing. He has edited more than
10 proceedings of international workshops and conferences, holds 29 awarded US patents,
and delivered more than 120 invited talks around the world. He is a member of IEEE
Circuits and Systems Society (CASS)'s Technical Committee of Visual Signal Processing
and Communications, Technical Committee of Multimedia Systems and Applications, an
associate editor of IEEE Transactions on Information Forensics and Security, and a fellow
of IEEE for his contribution to Multidimensional Signal Processing since 2005.
Huifang Sun received the BS degree in Electrical Engineering from Harbin Engineering
Institute (Harbin Engineering University now), Harbin, China, in 1967, and the PhD degree
in Electrical Engineering from University of Ottawa, Ottawa, Canada. In 1986, he jointed
Fairleigh Dickinson University, Teaneck, New Jersey, as an assistant professor and pro-
moted to an associate professor in 1990. From 1990 to 1995, he was with the David Sarnoff
Research Center (Sarnoff Corp), Princeton, New Jersey, as a member of technical staff and
later promoted to Technology Leader of Digital Video Technology. He joined Mitsubishi
Electric Research Laboratories (MERL), in 1995 as a senior principal technical staff member
and was promoted as deputy director in 1997, vice president and MERL Fellow in 2003 and
now as MERL Fellow. He holds 66 U.S. patents and has authored or co-authored 2 books as
well as more than 150 journal and conference papers. For his contributions on HDTV devel-
opment he obtained 1994 Sarnoff Technical Achievement Award. He also obtained the best
paper award of IEEE Transactions on Consumer Electronics in 1993, the best paper award
of International Conference on Consumer Electronics in 1997 and the best paper award
of IEEE Transaction on CSVT in 2003. He was an associate editor for IEEE Transaction on
Circuits and Systems for Video Technology and the chair of Visual Processing Technical
Committee of IEEE Circuits and System Society. He is an IEEE Life Fellow. He also served
as a guest professor of Peking University, Tianjin University, Shanghai Jiaotong University
(Guest Researcher) and several other universities in China.
xxvii
Exploring the Variety of Random
Documents with Different Content
PART FIVE
I T was the end of September. She had come home again, alone. Morning,
noon and evening she sat about or wandered by herself, and watched the
coloured procession of the days. Chill mornings wrapped in bluish mist
broke softly towards mid-day, bloomed into shining pale yellow afternoons,
died early, wistfully, in mists again, in grey dews shimmering upon the leaf-
strewn lawn and the fallen apples, in motionless massed pomp of foliage
burning softly beneath sunsets of muffled crimson, in moonrises strange
with a bronze light.
The river lay stretched like a silken substance, with an oil-smooth sheen
upon its dark olive surface; and all the poplars and willows upon the bank
grew both ways—into the air, and down through the water with their long
trunks shortened and their brightness tenderly blurred.
Next door, the shutters were up, and the copper beech dropped its leaves
upon the deserted lawn.
In that deep-weighing, windless, mellow hush, alone in the house and
garden, by the river, and on the hill, she saw all things begin to turn
lingeringly, richly towards their end; and, at long last, felt in herself the first
doubtful stir of new awakening.
Mamma had not come home. She was in Paris now, and was to remain
there for the present.
She had been kind on that morning, when Judith had come to her
bedside, told her that Julian had gone, that Martin was dead and that she
herself was not feeling very well. She had asked not a single confidence,
spoken no word of pity, but with merciful everydayness looked after her,
revived her body with the practical comfort of brandy and hot-water bottles;
and then, the next day, abandoned her cure and taken her away. They had
motored all over France and into Italy and Switzerland; and Mamma,
between long intervals of silence, had talked light sharp surface talk of the
places and people they encountered, of food and clothes: talk that could be
listened to with adequate attention and answered with ease. Through the
close wrapping of lead upon her mind Judith had understood the deliberate
and painstaking scheme of help, and been grateful for it. But when, after
three weeks, Mamma started to make plans for an autumn together in Paris,
Judith had suddenly asked to be allowed to go home. It was the first
spontaneous impulse from a mind diseased, so it had seemed, beyond hope
of revival. Sluggishly it stirred, but it remained: she must go home, be
alone, find work, write a book, something.... Acquiescing, Mamma had not
been able to conceal her relief. What a bore these weeks must have been for
her!
Judith saw England once more with the senses of one waking before
dawn exhausted from a nightmare, apprehending reality with shrinking and
confusion, and then, gradually, with a faint inflowing of relief, of hope in
the coming of the light.
Each morning she thought:
“To-day I will begin to write—start practicing again—apply through
College for some post....”
But each evening found her still folded in the golden caressing solitudes
of the garden, mindless and inert. There was no subject that could
conceivably provide material for a book; no music that was not far too
difficult to learn to play; no post that did not seem entirely distasteful.
Then, one afternoon, she paused by the grand piano, hesitated, opened it
and sat down to play—Schumann, Chopin, Brahms, Debussy, Ravel ... a
little of each, stumbling, giving up, going on again. At the end of two hours
she stopped. At first her hands had not obeyed her; but after a time they had
begun to remember, she had forced them to remember a little. She must
practice scales and exercises: it was too humiliating to be at the mercy of
stiff clumsy fingers.
She looked round the drawing-room and saw that it was empty of
flowers. She took a basket and went out into the misty sharp-smelling
garden and gathered dahlias and late roses. The flower petals seemed to
caress her cheek as she stooped to them, the stalks to yield gladly and fall
towards her. They loved and welcomed her. She chose, picked, stroked
them, held them against her face with voluptuous delight in their colour,
form and texture. It was thrilling, living alone and gathering flowers.
She looked around her, up at the sky. The evening was like Jennifer.
She went in to put her flowers in water.
Sheaves of cut lavender still lay drying on newspaper in the little room
where the vases were kept. She finished stripping the brittle stalks, dividing
the fragrant dried bluish heaps of buds and pouring them into bowls. The
feel of lavender held in the palms and sifting through the fingers was
delicious.
That day, years ago, when Roddy had come to tea, he had plunged both
hands into a bowl of lavender in the hall and then buried his nose in them
with a long ‘Ah!’ of satisfaction. This very famille rose bowl she was filling
had been the one. She had said that, when the fresh lavender was ready, she
would make him lavender bags to keep among his ties and handkerchiefs....
How long ago!...
She longed for Roddy suddenly with a new and unenvenomed pang: she
thought of him with tenderly regretful, half-maternal sorrow. He too would
be lonely now. She would have liked to give him lavender, to walk with him
in the autumn garden, quietly talking, sharing with him its loveliness and
tranquillity. She would have liked to show him she wanted nothing now
save to take his hand and tell him that she was sorry for him; that they must
be friends now, always, remembering whom they had both loved.
The evening post came just as she had finished disposing the bowls of
lavender about the house. It brought a letter from Julian.
Judith,
Now that I know that my moment is over and will never come again, I
must speak to you these last few words; and then be silent. If you reply to
me, I beg you not to say you hope we may still be friends. We may not. I am
not one who has friends.
That night I went from you and from that vile town raging, cursing God
and man. I had been thwarted, so I thought, by a monstrous trick of chance
in the very hour of my life’s most delicious triumph. I never could endure
failure, as you know. I have generally succeeded in getting what I wanted. I
have been very successful. That is because I am such a supreme egoist; and
because in spite of all my window-dressing and general ambiguity and
deceitfulness I don’t—often—deceive myself. I know very well what I
want: I go straight for it in spite of my path’s apparent twists and
deviations; and indeed, indeed, Judith, I wanted you. I say to myself: ‘Fool!
There are plenty of others worth the wanting;’ and yet—and yet it does not
seem so. No! Despite a life’s endeavours, I am not proof yet against the
slings and arrows. And when at last they do cease to assail me, it will, I
begin to fear, be merely because I have become moribund, not
philosophical.
God, I raged!—against Martin for dying, against you for being so foolish
as to care, against myself for being made uncomfortable and ridiculous; for
I was ridiculous in my own eyes because I had declared myself—shewn all
my cards and lost.
Now I have become sane again.
Looking back on it all, I think (with surprise) that I was mistaken. It
never would have done. You were not for me, or I for you. I never could
have made you passionate—and that was essential. You are all dark and
flat. If anything flashes in you it flashes hidden: you never would have let
me warm all myself at you. I see now how you would have given me
nothing but the polite, faintly curious attention which I have had from you
since our first meeting. It would have been a tedious game trying to knock a
spark out of you. I should soon have wearied of it. But before that I should
have hurt you. I am a not unaccomplished mental sadist. It would not have
done either of us much good.
About Martin: I thought you would like to know. They found his body
on the beach two days later; and took him home and buried him beside his
father. He had been cheerful all the time, enjoying his sailing; and went out
in high spirits on the day of the accident. You must not grieve about him.
He doesn’t know he was young and loved life and now can’t love it any
more. He won’t get old and past loving it. He’ll never miss dead friends and
lovers and long in vain to follow them. Fortunate Martin to die before he
wanted to.... But there! These are empty consolations. I also loved my
Martin. We shall never see him again. It’s little comfort to tell ourselves we
shall stop missing him when we’re dead too. I am told his mother is calm
and courageous, fortified by a complete faith in a loving God. Roddy I saw
at the funeral, but had little speech with. He looked unhappy. A brief note I
had from him yesterday, concerning the disposal of some of Martin’s things,
remarks that it is easily the worst thing that’s ever happened. This is the
only comment he has made or is likely to make—to me at least. He will get
over it. He is now in Scotland with friends, shooting. I give you these
tidings of him because I surmise that—you will like to have them. But I
know nothing of all that ... nor do I wish to know....
Ah, Judith, in spite of all I am very romantic and sentimental, and I say
to myself that I have my memories; and they cannot be taken from me. You
were very charming, very kind and tolerant. We did some good things
together—good vivid things: though I suppose the fact of my physical
presence never made them to you what yours made them to me: a superb
excitement and intoxication. Twenty years hence when you’re long since
married and have indulged your deplorable philoprogenitiveness, and are
stout, Judith, stout, comfortable, domestic, I shall write one sentence upon a
blank page and send it to you:
and perhaps—for one instant—you will stir in your fat and almost, almost
remember?... But no! There spoke indeed the sentimental egoist. For the
inns you remember will not be those you visited with me; and you have
made it clear—haven’t you?—that I may never call you Miranda. Besides,
for my own part, like enough I shall by then have forgotten the amenities of
bathing and omelette-eating and motoring by night, and disremembered all
my apt quotations. You will be a placid matron and I a gaunt, stringy and
withered madman: one of the kind with livid faces and blazing eyes, who
dog young women down lonely lanes. So never more, Miranda, never
more....
I read this through, my Judith, and I say to myself: words, words, words!
And I think: for whom, for whom shall the close dark wrappings of your
mind be laid aside and all the flame come leaping out? I sit and consider
how in all these years I never so much as kindled a little glow to warm my
hands at; and dream of how happily things might have fallen out if I hadn’t
been as I am, and all had been different; and I feel lonely and wonder what I
shall do without you. Don’t for God’s sake pity me. I shall forget you. But
oh, Judith! you were lovely to me: never quite real. And still, still persists
this ridiculous feeling that I should like to do something for you. There is
nothing, I suppose?
Next month I go to Russia. For what purpose? I know not. To hear some
music, and learn a smattering of the language; to write newspaper articles
(“Impressions of an Unprejudiced and Unofficial Wanderer”), to pick up a
few acquaintances, to forget you; to contract, perchance, some disease and
die of it.... At all events, to Russia I go. Farewell.
J. F.
2
That night she woke from a deep sleep and knew that Martin was dead:
not an object of horror tossed about decaying by the waves; not a thing
alive somewhere in some nightmare form, appalled at its own death,
watching, accusing, reproaching, desiring, reading the secrets of her heart;
not a Martin going on obliviously in another, beatific life—but a dead man
whose end had chanced upon him swiftly and mercifully, whose bones were
in their grave beside his father’s, quietly mingling with the earth he loved.
Martin had not died out of spite, or because her crookedness and Roddy’s
had somehow wrought upon him like an evil charm and driven him to be
drowned. He had been in high spirits, full of interest in which she had never
played a part and so could never spoil; and in the midst of his enjoyment he
had died. Drowning was a good death, so people said. Now neither
happiness nor unhappiness was possible to him any more: that was all death
meant. He had loved her, and now she was nothing to him; he was
insensible to her remorse and her regrets. She dared at last to sink in that
deep well of sorrow; but its waters were pure now, and in the end she drew
herself from them refreshed.
To-morrow she would be able to write to Martin’s mother.
3
She wrote, briefly; and when she had finished, the paper was spotted
here and there with irrepressible hot tears; but they were for Martin’s
mother. She would never shed any more for Martin now.
She dried her eyes and wrote to Julian.
My dear,
I was extraordinarily glad to get your letter. I thought I had lost you as
well as everybody else. You have done something for me, Julian: the thing I
thought no one and nothing could do. You have made my imagination stop
shrieking like a fiend in hell about Martin. It’s not only what you so wisely
say about a young man’s death: it’s the knowing that he was found again,
and buried in the earth as he wanted to be: that he isn’t a derelict, our
beloved Martin, in the unfriendly sea. It has all stopped being monstrous to
me; it is a natural grief and now I can bear to live again. He was in love
with me and I was unkind to him and longed too late to tell him I never
meant to be. That was the trouble. But it is all over now.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you have told me of
Martin—and of Roddy whom I shall never see again, to whom I may not
write and say how I grieve for his sake. You have done a great thing for me:
so now it will be easier than ever—won’t it?—to dismiss me from your
mind.
Oh, Julian, you wrote to me in a softened mood. Now you are regretting
it, perhaps, or laughing at yourself and me. No, it never would have done.
You imagined me: you say so yourself. Thank your stars you were spared
the boringness, or worse, of seeing me come true. What coils and glooms
and sickened moods poor Martin perhaps saved us! But I hope and believe
we’d have ended it and parted, laughing, before we’d even thought of
crying. I wish you much success and joy with all the not-impossibles who
are to follow me.
What a year this has been, and how we grow up! Shall I really never see
you again? It would be bathos after the elegant farewells we are now
exchanging: but it may happen.
My harmless Julian, you would not dog a fly—let alone young women in
lonely lanes. I do like you very much and I have the greatest respect for the
high quality of your morals, and if I die a widow with lots of children I shall
bequeath them all to you to bring up. You will have so many of your own
that a few more will make no difference. Think how happy you’ll be
instructing, admonishing and advising them.
What of Peter and of Mariella?—sad, strange, lovable Mariella and her
child? Their pathos weighs upon me; but I can do nothing. Only you can,
Julian. I should have liked news of them. Rumour has it that the house next
door is to be put up for sale.
I am all uprooted, and don’t know what I shall do. I must begin to make
plans. I suppose I shall never emerge from obscurity in any way. I used to
think it a certainty that I should. I see you smile unkindly.
Yes, I will be Miranda to you, Julian. What we shared meant as much to
me, in a different way, as it did to you; and it will never come again.
Perhaps there will never be any more inns, with anybody, in my life.
Enchantment has vanished from the world. Perhaps it will never come back,
save in memory. Perhaps I shared with you the last gleam I shall have of it.
Judith.
4
Martin’s mother answered, in a large, old-fashioned feminine
handwriting, by return of post.
Dear Judith,
Of course I remember you. I do not forget pretty and charming people
with sweet voices; and as a friend of Martin’s you are dear to me, as all his
friends are, because they were responsible for so much of his happiness. It
was kind of you to write. I miss my darling boy every moment of the day.
Never was a better son born. But he would not have wished me to grieve,
and so I try not to. He is in God’s keeping and I feel him very near to me;
please God there will not be many years in store for me before he and I and
his dear father are reunited.
It is a great comfort to think how happy his life was. His nature was all
sun, and from his birth till the day he was taken from us I verily believe not
a cloud came over him. Should not that console us?
Thank you again, dear Judith, and believe that Martin’s mother
remembers you affectionately.
Eleanor Fyfe.
“Not a cloud came over him.” She would believe that and smile, ageing,
stricken, lonely as she was, till her life’s end.
Perhaps after all it was so. Perhaps he had not allowed one woman’s
petty favours and denials to make a shadow across the large and perpetual
sunshine of his way. How little, after all, they had been together, how few
words exchanged; how insignificant a figure she must have been, when all
was said and done, among all the figures in his thousands of days!
Slowly, the darkness was lifting. Soon now, Jennifer’s letter must come,
and a new beginning dawn out of this end of all things.
5
It came, one morning when the first gale had started to sweep in upon
the season’s painted picture; a day when lights, shadows, leaves and wings
of birds moved, flew, shone, flickered, paused in a restless harmony.
Darling,
Something makes me write to you now. I have often nearly started and
then given it up, but now it feels as if I must, it feels rather like an evening
that perhaps you don’t remember but I do, when I had to come and see you
after not having been able to for ages—that time you were ill.
I have felt such a sort of disgrace to myself, and you, and College, and
English girlhood, going away like that, that I decided I’d better keep quiet
for a bit. I couldn’t write. But now I must. Have you been waiting and
waiting for a letter, and thinking I’d forgotten you? Darling, I haven’t
forgotten you. Perhaps you’ve forgotten me. But I don’t think so. It is most
damnably difficult writing to you. As you see, this is more illegible even
than usual with the effort. College does seem so far away. Higher Education
for Women never did me any good—except it gave me you and you are an
angel and so lovely. I feel very old and different. You remember my hair—
you liked it—I have had it all cut off. Just because Geraldine’s was short I
thought I must have mine the same. Just like me. Mother can’t get over it,
she now thinks my morals are past praying about, which is a step in the
right direction. It all waves and curls and it is marvellous to be without the
weight of it and the bloody hairpins prodding my scalp under hats. I thought
getting rid of it would be a good way to cut off the past as well. I thought
I’d be a different person, more adapted to Geraldine, if I did it. And anyway
I couldn’t bear her brushing it after you. You remember Geraldine. It was
because of her I left College.
Darling, do you hate me now, you ought to. Oh, that last term and the
night when I said good-bye to you. I try never to think about it, because it
makes me feel so awful. I promised I’d explain everything, didn’t I, but it’s
not much easier now than then because I suppose whatever’s been
happening to you you’re still an innocent baby, while I feel like the most
corrupt disreputable I don’t know what. Have you had a tremendous love-
affair yet? I always used to think there was a man you were on the verge of
loving. Perhaps he’s made you understand by now what it really means
being in love. I loved you frightfully from the very first. I used to think
about you night and day. I was in a fever about you. I began to be
absolutely afraid of my feelings for you, they were so extremely strong. I
couldn’t understand them. Then I met Geraldine, and I realized a lot of
things. You know what I am—she swept me off my feet. I was too excited
to think. She dazzled me. I simply let everybody and everything else go.
And all the time I loved you more than ever. You may not believe it but it’s
true. But I couldn’t explain to you how I felt—I didn’t care. You’d have
hated it really, wouldn’t you? You are pure and ethereal and I am not. Nor
was Geraldine. You used to look after me and kiss me as if you were my
mother (not really mine of course, who is quite awful, one of those lipless
women. I suppose Nature wanted to readjust the balance of mouth and that
accounts for mine.) I got into such a ghastly muddle over it all, I thought the
best thing I could do was to go away. Geraldine clung rather—I knew she’d
always be coming up, and I didn’t want her and you to meet, I knew she’d
be jealous (she’s the most jealous person I ever knew). And I saw things
could never be happy between you and me again. Oh, it was a hellish
muddle. It doesn’t bear thinking of. I had to go away and try and forget.
Just like me. I’m such a coward. I went abroad with her and she gave me a
marvellous time, I must say. I was absolutely fascinated by her to start with,
almost hypnotized, and we went all over Europe. You know I can’t help
more or less enjoying life frightfully, especially when it’s being rather wild
and queer—and it was. But then one or two people I met fell in love with
me and I suppose I fell a bit in love with them, I always do, and she got
jealous and more and more full of accusations and reproaches. I was so sick
of her I could hardly bear to look at her. She never could see a joke. So in
the end I left her and came home. She goes on writing me reproachful
letters, but I don’t answer them.
Oh, dear, you seem to be very far away from me now. I shall never find
anyone who understands like you again. Why did you ever waste your time
over me? I’m rotten and I always shall be. As you see I’m at home now, but
I shan’t stay long. There are far too many raised eyebrows and disapproving
chins about. I’m only waiting till I can raise some money and then I expect
I’ll go abroad again. I always prophesied I’d come to a bad end, didn’t I? I
seem to like nearly all the vices.
I suppose we shall never meet again. What’s the good? You’re probably
full of new things and people by now, and I daresay I’m changed for the
worse. Quite a Fallen Woman. And you wouldn’t like me any more. I
simply couldn’t face it. But write to me once and tell me everything. Tell
me if you understand. Tell me I was right to go away. Oh, I’d like to be
back with you in Cambridge—just for a day, even for an hour—just you
and me. There’ll never be anything like that, again.
Darling, have you cut off your hair I wonder. It was lovely too, parted in
the middle, so smooth and thick and dark purple. You can’t have changed it.
You will never change, will you, only get more and more deep and clear
and yourself. I shall change, but you must always remember I love you.
Jennifer.
She sat down clasping the letter between her palms, feeling the familiar
glow steal over her, rising from the very sheets close-written in that
sensitive erratic hand. Now, while her heart still beat with relief, joy,
surprise, now while Jennifer seemed to have drawn near once more of her
own accord, to be enquiring, holding out hands, hinting that she needed her
—now it seemed plain at last what was to come. Whatever Jennifer had
done, would do, they two must be together again.
She took up a pen and wrote.
My darling,
I knew your letter would come, because I wanted it so badly.
There are no new things and people. There is nothing. I haven’t got on
very well without you and being happy seems to belong to a far-back time
when you wore a green straw hat with a wreath of pink clover.
You have explained everything at last. Thank you, darling. Perhaps if we
had both explained things more to each other, there wouldn’t have been
such blanks and failures.
I am at home, alone, wondering, like you, what to do next. I am quite
free. I want to be with you again. Let us meet and think of something to do
together. I shall go to Cambridge for a day at the beginning of next term.
Meet me there. I’d hate to find you again for the first time in a different
setting. I promise not to remind you of the past or of things you want to
forget. I too only want to see a future now.
I am living in an utter solitude, which is thrilling but insidious. This time
of year always reminds me of you. I wish you were here to bathe at mid-
day, when the haze is warm and golden, to share my fruity meals, and drift
on the cold white-misted moony river after dark.
Tell me a date and I will come.
To think of you without your hair! Mine is exactly as it used to be.
Judith.
6
Some days later, the same post brought two letters. One was Jennifer’s
answer, scribbled all but illegibly across a half-sheet of note-paper, dashed
off, it seemed, in wild haste.
Oh, it would be too lovely to see you again, darling. I
can’t seem to make plans, or think at all. You are alone and
you sound as if you had been so terribly unhappy. Oh, poor
darling. Yes, it would be marvellous to do something
together, but what? You know you know you know what I’m
like. Why do you want to be bothered with me again.
Remember how miserable I made you. But I must see you
again—just to set eyes on you again would be heavenly.
October 24th. Will that suit you. I will come to our tea-shop
where we always went. Sit in the front room in the corner
under the window. I’ll come for you there about four
o’clock. Don’t wait for me after 5. I shall get there by car
somehow. I thought if I didn’t come till the afternoon it
would give you time to go out to College and see people if
you want to. I don’t want to. Perhaps we could stay the night
somewhere. What do you think. I can’t say anything more
definite than this. I will try to get there punctually. But if I
wasn’t there—(here several words were so thickly inked
over as to be indecipherable—and the letter ended in a
desperate-looking scrawl)—It will be too too lovely to be
with you again.
J.
The other letter made a bulky package. She opened it and saw many
sheets of round unformed handwriting. At the top of the first page some
other hand had written something minutely in pencil: Julian’s hand. She
read:
You asked me for news of Mariella. Here it is. I think you guessed what I
was neither perspicacious nor interested enough to suspect; or did even she
fall into the common habit of “telling Judith?” There is something about
this document which has made me feel far from flattered in my vanity or
elevated in my self-esteem. What I send you is for you and no one else.
After you have read it destroy it. You are discreet; and for some reason you
care what becomes of us; and, last but not least, you have the artistic
conscience, a sense of dramatic values. It seems to me this rounds us off
nicely.
Tchehov? Turgenev?
J. F.
And underneath she read in Mariella’s childlike hand:
Dear Julian,
I think this is the first letter I have ever written to you. I’ve often wanted
to write to you when I couldn’t bear it any longer. I’ve often nearly started
and then I haven’t dared. I don’t know why I do now except that Martin
dying does make me feel rather desperate. I’ve nobody now and he was
allways nice to me. I think he guessed a little but never said. I could allways
rely on him. I didn’t think unhappiness could ever last like this. I’ve had it
for years and I’ve allways thought, well it must get better soon, something
nice would happen, but it seems to get worse and worse and I must just get
used to it now. Don’t you think there must be a Devil to account for all the
damned misery in the world, I do. What am I to do with myself, I haven’t
got anybody. If I beleived in God ever listening to us and minding what
happened to us Id say it was him telling me to write to you, because it came
to me last night all in a flash I must do it, I should be sort of saved if I did. I
was deciding to kill myself but once Ive written all this out I dont think Ill
want to. Ill go away and never see any of you again but Ill go on living.
What Im writing to you about is this. Will you take Peter and look after
him—you will do it better than me, and you love him and you have always
thought I didn’t know how to look after him. I expect its true. I feel very
helpless and worried about him. I hated it when he was born, I didnt want
him. I never ought to have married Charlie, you told me so, and then to
have the baby—it meant I could never forget the awfull mistake and poor
Charlie, and I wanted to forget him. I thought I could never love Peter—I
hated him at first—me to have a baby of all things, but after a bit I began to
love him, he was so sweet, and instead of making me remember miserable
things he seemed to be going to make up for everything and I thought
perhaps I should be happy after all, bringing him up. And then that day you
came back on leave and saw him when he was a baby I saw how you
looked at him and I knew you were going to love him too. And I thought, if
he cares for Peter perhaps he will like me better, but instead of that you
seemed to dislike me more. I understand why of course. You couldn’t help
loving him for himself and because he was Charlies, but because he was
mine too you couldn’t help allways remembering the gastly quarell
whenever you saw him with me. Thats why you wanted to have him to
yourself away from me and allways told everybody I couldn’t look after
him and oughtnt to have had a baby. You did tell everybody didn’t you?
Poor little Peter I suppose it was true because bit by bit I got jealous of him.
Oh what a devil I felt being jealous of my own son. And I adored him too
but I couldnt bear to see you with him and you trying to take him away
from me and him getting to love you better than me. I used to go away and
as for crying, I’ve cried enough in the last few years to make up for all the
years of my life when I never cried. I didn’t cry at all when poor Charlie
was killed, I suppose I was numb and then there was this horror of the baby
coming. I felt turned into stone.
And then began the time I thought you would marry Judith. I know you
were in love with her, I suppose you still are, she is so pretty and clever as
well. I was allways very fond of Judith, she was sweet to me, and I used to
think Id try hard not to mind if you married her because it was so suitable
and shed make you happy if she loved you. But I dont think she will love
you, it wasnt you she wanted. It is awfull to think she has your love and
doesnt want it. The waste, I cant bear it! If only all the people with
unwanted love could hand it on to the people whod die for it and there were
none of these gastly gaps—everybody loving someone who loves another
person. It seems so funny it never struck you I was the one who could make
you happy, that Id always love you and look after you, but of course its silly
to talk like that. I know Im stupid. I never read books or had any education.
I have always exasperated you but I think if youd loved me I might have
been different. Id have lerned from you, Id have done anything to please
you. I know I could have. But it never seemed worth while making an
effort. I was allways your but and you expected me to be a fool. Its terrible
how I iritate you. Why did I marry Charlie. He begged me and begged me
and Id allways been so used to giving way to him. Besides I was so young
then I couldnt beleive things wouldn’t come right if I wanted them to be. I
thought if I went and announced to you I was going to marry Charlie youd
realise I wasnt a baby any more, that I was grown up, and youd say no, I
must marry you not Charlie. And then your fury when he told you and the
revalation of how contemtable you thought me. I think you were jealous
too, because Charlie had done a thing without telling you and of course
youd got him out of so many scrapes you couldnt bear him turning to
someone else, especially a person like me who I suppose you thought too
stupid to mannage him at all. Poor Charlie I know you loved him and tried
to be like a father to him but honestly I dont believe you mannaged him
quite the right way. I suppose it was my damned pride that made me go
through with marrying him. When he came and told me hed sworn never to
speak to you again, his only brother, I felt it was all my fault and I couldnt
desert him. I couldnt help loving him in a way, he was very lovable and he
did depend on me so. I vowed to myself I’d stop him drinking etc, and then
perhaps youd be grateful to me and thered be a reconcilliation. Poor
Charlie, perhaps it was best he died, he was so weak. It was funny how he
fell in love with me when he grew up. Somebody in my life has loved me
anyhow. He really did. He longed so to have a son before he died too. Poor
Grannie, she thought it was so wrong cousins marrying, but Charlie said no,
he knew wed have wonderful children.
Prehaps Peter will be wonderful. Hes got his music, and he hasnt got
Charlies wild histerrical temper. Hes a very good unselfish little boy, very
afectionate. Will you please take him and bring him up. You will do it better
than me. I couldnt write like this if I hadnt quite given up hope of you ever
turning to me. When Martin died I thought perhaps it might bring us closer,
you were the one person I wanted to see, it would have been such a
comfort. But no, my last hope is gone. I must think only of Peter now. I
dont see how I can do it, the one thing Ive got, but I know its best. Ill know
hes getting the best chance, which will be a great weight off my mind. I
know you dont want to send him to school till hes much older, Im glad
because hes rather dellicate and not a bit like other little boys—you
mannage all the money, so youll know how much there is for him. Quite
enough I think. Prehaps you will let me have him now and then for little
visits, and when he grows up prehaps Ill be able to explain to him—if Im
alive. I dont really think I shall be. I promise Ill never intrefere or bother
you, but please you must remember its not because I dont love Peter Im
giving him to you, but because I love you and wish he was yours. It will be
wonderful doing something for you. Itll make me allmost happy. Dont let
him quite forget me, but I know he really loves you better than anyone. Oh
before he was born I used to think if this was only Julians baby how happy
Id be—I love you so much I would love to have your children and sufer
pain for you—even though Ive never wanted children for myself. I know
people allways say I am so cold and dull and sexless, so I am to everyone
else because ever since I was very young you have absorped me intirely. To
you I would have been more like a flame, to burn you up. But you were
allways so cold and uninterested, you never thought I was atractive to look
at even.
Oh, I shiver when I think of having produced Peter perhaps only to be as
unhappy as me or to die young like Charlie and Martin. But if you look
after him hes more likely to be alright. Please if you marry get someone
who will be nice to him. Oh this is awfull. What am I doing. Please take
him soon. Dont write me an answer but just say if you will take him and
when and I will send him with the governess, but you will sack her wont
you and educate him yourself. I never did like her. Well I have written it all,
I feel very exhausted but Im glad its written. I shant ever need to pretend
again, the strain was awfull. I dont quite know what I shall do. I think I
shall sell the house. I couldn’t bear to live in it ever again after all thats
happened. It was an unlucky house so I dont want to keep it on for Peter. I
dare say I shall go on with this vet business, or anyway looking after dogs
somehow. Im not stupid with animals if I am with peeple.
Oh, darling Martin, it is terrible without him. Why wasnt I with him in
the sailing boat, it would have saved so much trouble. Do you really think
we never meet the poeple we love again. I know youll say never, so dont
answer. Sometimes I feel it must be alright, I feel allmost a certainty this
isnt the end.
I shant read this over. Ive written in such a hurry I expect its full of
spelling mistakes etc., and youll laugh when you read it. I cant help it.
You mustnt dispise me for telling you I love you.
Good-bye from
Mariella.
Beneath her signature came Julian’s pencil again: ‘I have sent for Peter.’
7
In the early afternoon, the taxi drew up beneath the archway of College,
and she saw once more the red-tiled floor, the cold polished walls, the
official bleakness and decorous ugliness of the entrance hall.
The portress had been her special friend. She opened the door of the
lodge, expecting a joyful smile: but the elderly woman sitting at the table
was unfamiliar.
‘Is the portress out?’
‘I’m the portress, Miss.’
‘I don’t think I remember you.’
‘No, Miss. I only came this term.’
‘Ah, yes. How do you like it?’
‘Well it’s all a bit difficult to get into, Miss. Hard like.’
‘Yes. I found that. I used to be here.’
‘Oh yes, Miss.’
Her eyes looked bored behind her glasses. She was thinking there were
any amount of girls always coming and going. You couldn’t be expected to
take an interest....
Judith looked around her and was seized with panic. The whole place
was unfamiliar. Nothing recognized or greeted her.
A menace of footsteps drew near, resounding harshly on the tiles. A
group of girls in gym tunics passed and stared. They must be first-year
students. She could not remember one of them. She shrank from their
curious glances and went swiftly down the corridor to the foot of the stairs.
A girl came running down, two steps at a time, saw her and paused,
smiling shyly.
‘Hullo, Judith!’
‘Hullo!’
What was her name? Joan something? You could never have exchanged
more than a few words with her. She was fair-haired, ordinary, rather
shapeless and untidy, like so many others; but her smile was reassuring.
‘Have you come up to stay?’ she said.
‘No. Just for the day ... to see one or two people. How are you getting
on?’
‘All right. How are you?’
‘Oh, all right.’
‘Well—I must fly. Good-bye.’
‘Good-bye.’
She was alone again.
She went up the shallow spiral staircase, and stood still at the top. There
was scarcely a sound: it was the usual afternoon hush. She crept up to the
mistress’s door and knocked; but there was no answer: then on to one or
two other rooms, where the grave faces of dons would look quietly pleased
to see her; but no reply came. Everyone must be out in the well-
remembered October weather.
There was still Miss Fisher’s door. She had sent a note to Miss Fisher,
her own don, saying she might come, to inquire about a possible job of
some sort, to discuss her prospects, and ask for a written testimonial: so
behind this door there would be someone who expected her.
But when she drew near she heard the sound of several voices raised as
if in argument, and another shiver of panic took her. She let her raised hand
drop to her side again and went quickly away; and the voices of a great
crowd of unknown people seemed to come after her, questioning her
intrusion, while she ran up the next flight of stairs.
Here was the familiar corridor and her own door, half-open, with a
strange name on it. There was nobody inside. She peeped in. Nothing,
nothing of her that remained. Instead of blue, purple and rose colour, black
and orange stripes everywhere; an array of unprepossessing photographs on
the mantelpiece, and some dirty pink plates and cups strewn about.
Only the window remained unchanged, holding up its great autumnal
tree-tops to her gaze; but their unmoving pageant stared back and did not
greet her. She was dispossessed entirely.
There on the corner was Jennifer’s door fast-closed, and bearing an
unknown name. The sunshine sloped across to it in a dusty beam.
A maid came round the corner carrying a tray of crockery. She stopped,
blushing with delight. It was Rose, who had always been so pretty and coy
and smiling, and who had once brought a hot limp bunch of wallflowers
from her mother’s garden, and laid them on her table. She was quite well
thank you, and pleased to see you again. She and some of the other girls
were only saying the other day they quite missed you. She wasn’t staying
much longer now: she was leaving to get married.
Even Rose would soon be gone.
Now she must get out again as quickly as possible without being seen.
She had meant to pause again and listen at Miss Fisher’s door; but now that
was impossible. When now and then on her way down a footstep started,
coming closer, a voice was raised, her heart beat in a wild terror of
detection. Nobody must see her slinking out again from the place where, in
her presumptuous folly, she had returned unannounced, expecting welcome.
The place was terrible—a Dark Tower. She must escape. How had she been
deluded for three years into imagining it friendly and secure—a permanent
dwelling? In four months it had cast her off for ever.
Out again into the courtyard and quickly into the waiting taxi. Jennifer
would appreciate the grimness of the story when she told her. She sat back
weaving it into a dramatic recital for Jennifer’s sympathetic ears.
The town lay shining and smiling secretly in the sunlight, windless, its
buildings, spires and streets caressed with a dusty golden light. Here, too,
all was quiet. They were playing games. Where had been so many familiar
faces, all seemed strange; and the few undergraduates she passed looked
commonplace, dingy even, and schoolboyish.
She hesitated on the threshold of a bookshop and then passed on. To be
recognised was now as great a dread as not to be recognised. What would
people think of her, wandering about alone? How should she explain her
presence to enquirers?
Trinity Great Court grieved in the sun for Martin. It had not yet quite
forgotten him. It did not like its handsome young men to die.
If only Jennifer would come soon she could clasp her hand and feel a
strange voluptuous stir at the heart of her sorrow; but to flit and pause alone
like this, obliterating herself with a sort of shame, looking out for a chance
familiar face and yet fearing to see one—this was appalling. It happened to
people revisiting their university with twenty years between them and
youth.
Tony must still be in Cambridge. He was a Fellow of his College now....
Suddenly conscious of his being very near, somewhere round the next
corner perhaps, she dived for shelter into the tea-shop.
The young waitress came towards her with a smile; at sight of the
pleasure and greeting in her face, Judith felt a weight lift.
‘Your usual table?’ she said in her soft voice.
‘Yes. I’m expecting my friend. You remember her.’
‘Yes, indeed I do. That’s nice.’
She led the way to the table in the corner, beneath the window, lingered a
little chatting, and then was called away.
Nearly four o’clock. Jennifer might be late: she always was.
The room was empty save for two women in the opposite corner,
engrossed in the usual whispered tea-shop confidences. What warmth and
colour Jennifer would bring with her when she came! Judith thought.
“I won’t look towards the door; I’ll look out of the window; and then
suddenly I’ll turn round and she’ll be there.”
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