Save Your Marriage Alone

Copyright © 2023 by Awesome U Coaching Inc.

All rights reserved. No parts of this publication may be

reproduced or transmitted in any form without written
permission from the author. Additional Notice and
Disclaimers No guarantees, promises, or suggestions of
any results are made, whether implied or stated.
Individual results may vary from those shown, and
everything herein is provided on an “at your own risk”
basis.

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 Contents
Introduction ....................................................................................................7
Becoming a Relationship Jedi ......................................................... 12
Rethinking How To Save A Struggling Marriage ................ 15
The Science of Connection................................................................ 22
Step 1 - Decoding Your Spouse’s Matrix................................... 29
Step 2 - Go through a fast Neural Makeover ....................... 40
Step 3 - Dig them out of their Entrenchment .................... 48
Step 4 - Pluck Thorns ............................................................................ 56
Step 5 - Get them to chase you ................................................... 64
Step 6 - Make them fall in love with you again ................... 73
Step 7 - Correct their behavior with Psychological
Qualification .................................................................................................. 81
Success stories .......................................................................................... 88
What To Do Next ................................................................................... 100
About the Author ................................................................................... 107

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 Here’s How To Work With Me
To Implement This System
That Saves Your Marriage
In 90 Days

Hey reader.
Andre Santos here.
I have one goal with this book: To give you the
information you need to save your marriage
without your spouse needing to be on board.
My best strategies, insights, and
breakthroughs from using this system to save
hundreds of marriages are in this book.
And even though that’s the case, I still get
quite a few people asking how they can get
more personal help with implementing this.
So if you want us to hold your hand through
transforming your marriage…
All you have to do is:
Click here and book a call with us.

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Tell us a bit about your marriage and we’ll give
you the details.
To your success,

Andre Santos

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Introduction

“I think we’re beyond saving at this point. He wants

nothing to do with me anymore.”

Her husband had filed for divorce. And the more

she tried to get him to see how this was a mistake,
the more convinced he became that this is what he
wanted.

It felt like talking to a brick wall. So she was scared

to even try because she was afraid it’d just make
things worse.

And that is why she almost gave up before even

getting started.

We measure what we think is possible in

completely irrational ways. We’ll look at what we’ve
already been able to do to determine what is
possible.

A thousand years ago, flying was impossible.

Speaking to someone in a different part of the

country was impossible.

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Even flipping a switch to light up the room was
impossible.

So even if she didn’t know it… When Heather

wanted to quit, it was because she’d been
conditioned by everyone else who’d told her her
entire life that “it takes two to tango”. And that if
he’s not willing to work on things, there’s nothing
she could do.

They were wrong.

And Heather and her husband not only ripped the

divorce papers to shreds, but they’re more in love
today, and their relationship is stronger today than
it’s ever been.

This was a huge surprise to her family, who thought

the situation was hopeless, her marriage counselor,
who had given up on her being able to reconcile…
and to Heather herself.

But I knew she could get him back from the

moment she told me about how stubborn and
uncooperative he is.

How?

Because I’ve personally coached hundreds of

people just like Heather, who were battling for the
marriage alone, to save their marriages and
families.

Just like this one:

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Because we understand that the brain is a

computer.

It’s an incredibly complex computer with feelings -

but a computer nonetheless.

Everyone is still trying to communicate with their

spouses the same way my grandmother interacts
with her computer… By randomly smashing the
keyboard and then getting frustrated that nothing
works.

What we did was study what button does what in

the brain - and mapped out a system that our
clients use to change how their spouse feels about
them.

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Because while everyone else depends on how the
spouse feels - our clients can change how the
spouse feels. And so they depend on nothing but
their implementation of this system.

And that’s how they’re turning even the most

stubborn, cold, and distant people into romantic
and doting partners.

And that’s what I want you to learn in this book.

You can stop feeling powerless and finally grab the

wheel on the fate of your life and marriage.

And instead of banging your head against the wall,

watching them pull further and further away every
time you try to convince them to stay…

You can plant the right seeds, flip some switches in

their brain, and then sit back and let their new
emotions do the work for you.

Because if you try to change their mind, they’ll

resist you. But if you change their heart first, their
mind will follow naturally.

And you’ll learn the switches you need to flip to

make that happen.

I’m so excited to share this system with you.

It’s saved hundreds of relationships everyone else

had given up on.

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We’ve used it to end all kinds of affairs. From serious
commitment to serial cheating.

In many cases, even our client didn’t think their

situation was possible to fix.

And in every single one of those cases, bar none, the

relationship is better now than it was before.

This book will share exactly how this system works

so you can implement it in your own relationship,
and get your spouse back more in love than ever.
Even if they’re not currently on board.

Let’s dive in.

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Becoming a Relationship Jedi

Before we go over the process itself, it’s important

to understand who you have to become.

We simply can’t continue to play small and expect

miracles to happen. Especially when our marriage
is teetering on the edge of an abyss.

If you want extraordinary things in your life, you

have to be extraordinary.

And that means in both Character and Competence.

Our clients baffle their families when they save their

relationships after everyone else had given up on
them and decided it was impossible.

How?

Because they understand the importance of

building both Character and Competence.

They build their Competence by learning and

applying this system thoroughly. And with practice,
discipline and consistency, they master it.

But the Character depends on them…

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Just like your Character depends on you.

So what is the Character of a Relationship Jedi?

Coachable:

First and foremost, a Relationship Jedi knows that

the results they have now, are a result of what they
currently know.

They know that what they don’t know is what is

costing them their relationship.

And because of that, they’re willing to learn.

Unshakable Belief:

A Relationship Jedi is also unshakable in their belief

in their spouse’s character. They know that there’s
a difference between who their spouse is, and how
their spouse is acting.

And they firmly believe that their spouse is capable

of being an amazing person for them again.

Because of that, they know that they’re not fighting

just for themselves, or their family… They’re fighting
for the spouse’s sake too.

And they won’t trash talk their spouse because they

understand their behavior is a reflection of pain, not
malice.

Commitment:

Finally, a Relationship Jedi understands that

anything worth having is worth fighting for. They
understand that nothing falls on their lap. And that

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their dream marriage is possible, but needs to be
earned, not demanded.

This means they’ll be committed to the process,

that they’ll put in the work, that they’ll step out of
their comfort zone, and that they’ll be disciplined
and consistent in their practice of the tools, so they
build the marriage they want.

So if you have the Character of a Relationship Jedi.

And you’re committed to developing the skills to
become one, I’m going to share with you exactly
how to do that.

To sum it all up:

If you’re looking for a proven way to save your

marriage from the brink of divorce in 90 days or
less…

And get your spouse to say “I love you” again so you

can go back to the committed relationship you
once had…

And you’re ready to put in the work to become a

Relationship Jedi yourself…

This training will show you how I’ve helped 100s of

clients save their marriages without their spouses
on board.

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Rethinking How To Save A

Struggling Marriage

Whenever people struggle with their marriage,

they’re exposed to lies & myths that are
perpetuated by well-meaning… but ignorant
sources.

This mainstream advice about what to do either

doesn’t work at all, or often makes things even
worse.

If you’ve tried, or are currently doing any of these,

you really want to pay attention:

1. “You just need to work on yourself”.

Being more present, giving them space, going

to the gym, thinking positive, reading more
books, or however else we interpret the fluff
advice of “work on yourself” may help you
personally, but it’ll do little to help your
marriage.

There are resentments lodged in the

relationship, right now. And that creates a

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broken trust that will shoot down whatever you
attempt.

So what happens is that people spend months

and months “working on themselves”... only for
the spouse to either not care, or not even notice.

To get your spouse back, we need to reach them

where it matters. The problem is most people
don’t know what that is... Or how to do it.

So they’ll scream from the rooftops that you

need to “work on yourself”.

Don’t listen.

That advice may be loud, it may be everywhere,

but if it worked, we wouldn’t have divorce rates
as high as we do.

Working on yourself may be a beginner’s first

step, but it’s nowhere near the full solution.

2. Therapy alone isn’t going to save your

marriage.

Marriage counseling is designed around both

people being 100% committed to saving things.

If your spouse isn’t fully on board, there’s a very

good chance therapy will make things worse...
In fact, I’m constantly having to undo the
damage caused by therapy with my clients.

Whenever a therapist hears an Entrenched

spouse saying they "don’t want to be married
anymore", they throw their hands up and say:

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“Oh well, there’s nothing to be done, then. We
need to get you guys divorced”.

And even if they try to still counsel you, they

can’t be simultaneously supportive of two
opposing views, which inevitably makes them
take sides.

Then they’ll either take your side and make your

spouse feel they’re being ambushed... which will
Entrench them further and spell major
sabotage for you...

Or they’ll take your spouse’s side and confirm to

them they’re right to ask for the divorce.

3. “The Talk” never works. Most people will try to

convince their spouses to stay and give it one
more chance by saying things like:

“I want us to be able to make amends",

“Are you seriously walking away from
everything we’ve built?”,
"We have to do what's best for the kids",
"I'm fighting for this marriage",
“We've been married for XX years",
"I'll always love you",
“So what, you’re just giving up?”,
”I did X for you!", etc…

All of these examples are routinely used by

people who are desperate to change their
spouse’s mind... but all they do is push them
even further away.

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There’s a lecturing undertone to them, which
makes them feel you don’t understand where
they’re coming from. This further confirms to
them they need to leave this relationship quick.

If you do Communication right, you don’t need

your spouse’s help to change how they feel
about you.

4. Don’t bend the knee. We don’t want to be

confrontational, but we can’t just bend over and
ask for a spanking either.

It’s very common for people to concede and

start making promises on how they’ll change,
and giving their spouses space, because they
feel they have no other option other than to do
whatever the spouse says they want... but not
delivering on what they need.

When we go to the doctor, we can’t tell them

what bug we caught. All we can do is tell them
our symptoms. It is then up to the doctor to
identify what the cause might be, and then
based on that prescribe the treatment.

With our spouse it’s the same. All they can tell
you are the symptoms. So if you go along with
giving them space because they asked for it,
there will never be enough space that you can
give them to heal the cause of the problem...
Because there's no amount of fanning the
smoke that will ever put out the fire.

Another big problem with this "bend the knee"

approach is that it massively drops your Social
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Value... which, there’s a reason no one wanted to
buy Bitcoin when it was $13.

These approaches are based on either hoping the

spouse changes their mind by themselves (not
gonna happen), or trying to force them to change
their mind.

This is unrealistic.

They’ll either just maintain their trajectory as

normal Or double down on it to overcome
whatever adversity you’re creating for them.

This book aims to provide a new, simple, and faster

approach to changing how your spouse feels about
the relationship without creating additional
adversity.

It will challenge common misconceptions and offer

strategies to effectively address the underlying
issues in your marriage.

Because by understanding what truly matters to

your spouse and implementing effective
communication techniques, you can work towards
saving your marriage in a more efficient and
impactful way.

Chapter takeaways:

● Working on yourself alone is not enough to save

your marriage. While personal growth is
important, it won't necessarily fix the underlying
issues in your relationship. Simply focusing on
yourself without addressing the resentments

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and broken trust within the marriage won’t be
enough to get your spouse back.

● Therapy alone may not be effective if your

spouse is not fully committed. Traditional
marriage counseling assumes both partners are
dedicated to saving the relationship. If your
spouse is not on board, therapy might even
make things worse. Therapists may take sides or
even recommend divorce, which can further
entrench your spouse's decision.

● "The Talk" and bending the knee won't bring the

desired results either. Attempts to convince
your spouse to stay and make amends through
emotional pleas or promises often push them
further away. Lecturing or conceding to their
demands without addressing the underlying
issues won't lead to lasting change. It's
important to find more effective ways of
communication that can positively influence
their feelings towards the relationship.

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The Science of Connection

“You can’t make someone fall in love with you”. I

can’t count the amount of times I’ve heard this...

What’s worse is that most people actually believe

it... Which makes no sense to me because you’ve
made your spouse fall in love with you before, or
you wouldn’t be here.

Yes, you absolutely can make someone fall in

love with you - in fact - you’re the only one who
can!

You’ve done it before. Even if you don’t know how.

But that wasn’t something your spouse decided.

They didn’t talk themselves into falling in love with
you. It “just happened”.

And it happened because of what you did, said, and

made them feel.

We are NOT in control of how we feel about

someone.

But we ARE in control over how others feel about

us.
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What generally lacks in people who say “you can’t
make someone fall in love with you” is the know-
how to do it. So what they mean to say is “I don’t
know how to make my spouse fall in love with me”,
which is a very different problem to solve.

When this clicks for us, two big shifts take place in
our brain:

The first is that we stop blaming our spouse for

how they feel - and even what they’re doing.
Because they’re not in control of how they feel
and they don’t want to feel this way either.

The second is that we stop feeling at their mercy.

And realize that we have all the power to fix this -
if we only learn how to change their feelings
towards us.

Because, yes - you CAN break through your

spouse’s stubbornness, build trust back, get
them to fall madly in love with you, and
recommit fully to the relationship.

We simply need to pull the right levers in their

brain to make it happen.

However, the way most people do it is by shooting

in the dark and hoping something works. That's
why they often end up doing more damage and
then complaining it can’t be done.

What we need isn’t luck, because luck is a fickle

thing. What we need is a scientific approach that
can get us closer to our spouse 100% of the time.

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And that means we can’t rely on Psychology alone.
Psychology is great, but it’s easily the most
subjective of sciences - and we need more than just
feelings alone.

So what is the right system?

What we do is we combine Psychology and

Engineering. This is a unique approach that’s never
been done before. It allows us to change how your
spouse feels about you with AAALMOST 100%
accuracy.

Because we’re not just talking about feelings.

We’re studying how their mind is engineered.

And this is what I call the Science of Connection.

Imagine you had a super-calculator where you

could input their entire mind. Their feelings, beliefs,
memories and experiences, decision-making
processes, personality traits, values, pains, fears,
traumas, preferences, fantasies, insecurities,
ambitions, and everything else in between…

And then we could use that to calculate and

anticipate how they’ll think, feel, and act.

We’re not just able to understand what’s

happening in your spouse’s psychology at a level
that’s simply never been done before… We’re also
able to influence and change it.

And no, you don’t have to be an engineer, or even

worry about the math involved... because that’s

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already built into the system. I did that so you don’t
have to.

In fact, once you get how simple this system is,

you’ll probably be mad how no one else was able to
come up with it before.

We work with 100 clients a year, and we teach them

this system so they can use it in their marriages.

We’re taking people off the road to divorce, and

putting them back on the path to their happily
ever-after.

So how does this system work?

And how do you use it to get assured,

mathematically precise results with your spouse
in the least possible amount of time?

Here are the steps…

1. You start seeing the Matrix in your

relationship. There’s a technique you can use to
effectively read your spouse’s mind. So you can
collect all the data you need for your super-
calculator, without your spouse having to
communicate to you how they feel. And this'll
give you the boxes you need to tick in their brain
to get them to forgive you, commit to you, and
fall back in love with you.

2. You go through a quick Neural Makeover. It

doesn’t have to take more than 12 minutes to
rewire your brain out of the bad thought-
patterns and habits that led to the breakdown
of the relationship. There are specific processes
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anyone can do to shed traumas, hurts and
insecurities permanently... without needing to
spend 6 months in therapy. This gives you
control over the person you want to be, so you
become the version of you your spouse can't
resist.

3. Dig them out of their Entrenchment. You send

highly specific texts to your spouse to break
through their resistance. This gets them
trusting you again, and being open to
discussing more with you than just kids and
logistics.

4. You remove their Thorns using a precise

Communication Formula. Thorns are issues
and resentments in the marriage. And there’s a
specific way to communicate with them that
will remove the Thorns for good. Once all Thorns
are plucked, all issues are resolved... and they no
longer want to end the relationship with you.

5. You get them to chase you by adding

irresistible amounts of Social Value to the
relationship. You start building the relationship
from the ground up based on the new &
upgraded person you are. The overwhelming
amount of Social Value you add to the
relationship now makes it so you’re the prize.
Which means they’re the ones chasing you. And
this effectively solidifies in their mind that you’re
irresistible to them.

6. You make them fall in love with you by

fulfilling their Prime Directives. Prime
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Directives are the criteria for your spouse to fall
in love with you. Once you identify & fulfill them,
they can’t help but to fall in love with you, and
you shouldn’t be surprised if they start
worshiping the ground you walk on.

7. You get them to level up for you using

Psychological Qualification. So you stealthily
train them on how to show up better for you.
You then deploy these strategies whenever you
need them to course correct and keep your
marriage from derailing ever again.

We call it the Science of Connection because it’s a

literal breakdown of everything that needs to
happen to reconnect you with your spouse.

Of course that your friends and family will think you

must have used some kind of Jedi mind trick… That
you used the Force to change your spouse’s mind
because they never would have thought this was
possible.

But you’ll know the truth.

You’ll know that your success comes from the

implementation of the steps in this Science of
Connection.

And you’ll have the knowledge of this powerful

science with you for whenever you need it.

So let’s walk through how to do this step-by-step

now.

P.S. - if you’d like to go even deeper on this process,

you can also join our private group here
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Chapter Takeaways:

 Contrary to the common belief, you can

influence someone's feelings towards you and
make them fall in love with you again. By
understanding their emotions and using
scientific principles, you can rekindle their love
and commitment to the relationship.
 By combining the knowledge of human
psychology with the precision of engineering
techniques and scientific principles, you can
develop a systematic approach to
understanding your partner's emotions and
influence their feelings towards you.
 There's a well-structured step-by-step system
that can guide you in transforming your
relationship. This includes understanding your
spouse's mind, undergoing a neural makeover
to rewire your own sabotaging thought
patterns, breaking through their resistance,
resolving issues and resentments, adding Social
Value to the relationship, fulfilling their Prime
Directives, and using Psychological
Qualification to level up how they’re showing up
in the relationship. By implementing these
steps, you can transform your relationship and
create a stronger and more loving connection.

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Step 1 - Decoding Your

Spouse’s Matrix

The first step to fix anything is to be able to

accurately diagnose what the real problem is, and
what we need to fix. Otherwise, we’ll get stuck in
the hamster wheel, spinning our wheels, doing a lot
of busywork... but making no progress.

The 3 big problems with getting this

information is that:

1. Your spouse may not be open to

communicating that to you

A lot of people get stumped here because they’re

operating under the myth that: “We need them to
communicate with us for us to understand them”.

The thing is… The opposite is also true: They need to

feel understood for them to communicate with us.

This creates a chicken and the egg problem. We

can’t make them feel understood, so they don’t let
us understand them.

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That means we need a way in to break that vicious
cycle and turn it around.

A way to understand them without them having to

open up - so we can make them feel understood
right off the bat.

2. Your spouse lacks the self-awareness to be

able to communicate that clearly to you

They can point out the fever, the skin rash, the
abdominal pain, etc… They can’t say “This is the
cancer I have”.

We can always communicate our symptoms, but

not the causes.

Similarly, they can say they “love you, but aren’t in

love with you”, that you don’t understand them and
never have, that they need space to figure things
out, etc...

But they can’t tell you why their feelings changed,

why small things are bothering them so much now,
why they have nothing left in their tank, or why
they’re more attracted to someone else, etc...

3. Your own emotion will serve as a bias that

will filter and distort information

For instance, if you’re scared there’s no hope, you’re

liable to say they’re being selfish, narcissistic, or
going through a midlife crisis.

Neither of those accounts for how your spouse may

have felt you pull away and become emotionally
unavailable over time.
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Or how that added more and more pressure and
expectations on them, until at one point the
relationship felt like a job...

Until one day they asked themselves if this is what's

in store for them for the rest of their lives, and they
couldn’t shake that question out of their head.

This kept building more and more pressure until

one day something snapped, and they realized
they’re not getting any younger... and that if they
want to have any hope of being happy, they need
to get out of this relationship ASAP.

Instead, it’s much easier to say they’re having a

midlife crisis. But saying that gives us no clarity.

Whereas if we understand their emotional

experience, we can identify that - in this example,
the tumor we have to excise is simply the pressure
and expectations that caused the problem in the
first place.

What we need to know to be able to fix any

marriage is:

● Their Prime Directives (the needs that, once

fulfilled, make them fall in love) - Learn more
about Prime Directives

● Their Thorns (the hurts that are leading to their

resentment)

● Their Fears (the real motivations why they feel

they need to walk away)

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● Their Beliefs (about you, the relationship, and if
applicable, the affair partner)

● The types of Trust that were broken (we’ll

need to know specifically which type was
broken, so we can mend it) - Learn more about
Trust Types

These are the 5 Levers we’ll need to pull to

change how they perceive you and feel about
you at a fundamental level.

Every person is different, so there isn’t a one-size-

fits-all approach to saving a marriage. But with the
information we get from these 5 Levers, we’re able
to customize your approach... and craft your
communication to speak to the deepest parts of
your spouse’s core.

Example:

For instance, if they’re “get shit done” people,

there’s a good chance their Prime Directive is
Power. In that case - and based on that alone - we
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know that what they’ll need more than anything
else is to feel faith in themselves and in their ability
to overcome problems through sheer force of will.

Knowing that, we know why they’re being so

stubborn and confrontational. As well as exactly
what we need to be making them feel.

We also know that we can’t be submissive, or they

won’t respect you. And that your conversations will
need to be short and precise until you’re back in a
good place. In this case, trying to have drawn out
talks about emotions will massively backfire…

Notice that we don’t need that much information

to know what needs to happen to fulfill their
deepest needs.

And when you’re a master at providing their Prime

Directives, they won’t be able to get enough of you.

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The problem is that to uncover this information, we
need to go deeper than what they’ll be able to
share.

So how do we pop open the hood and read their

mind without them needing to say a word to us?

Well, when it comes to Prime Directives and Trust

Types, we can observe those directly in their
behavior.

To identify their Prime Directives, you need to

watch out for these personality traits to figure
out what quadrant they’re in:

🔥 Power:

People under this quadrant are very “get shit done”,

they’re often more on the impulsive side, and
constantly seek to prove themselves. They can
come off aggressive, though…

💙 Love:

People under this quadrant are big proponents of

communication, they’re sensitive and tend to be
dreamers. They’re also excellent manipulators if
they feel slighted.

📚 Knowledge:

These are the people who thrive in organizing and

cataloging. They tend to come across as party-
poopers, though, since they’re often the ones to
point out where the problems lie. They’re also
masters of the silent treatment, and easily ghost at
the drop of a hat.
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💡 Wisdom:

These are the innovators and creators. They’re

constantly coming up with ideas and get deeply
invested in them. If you get on their bad side,
though, they’re experts at making people feel
dumb.

Take a minute now to identify what you think your

spouse’s Prime Directive quadrant is and write it
down on a piece of paper. (If you’re unsure between
them, pick the two that most control their behavior
- they often work together in a matrix).

We’ll make use of this information later to flip those

switches in their brain that will get them to fall in
love with you!

Learn more about Prime Directives here.

Once that’s done, we need to identify which Trust

Types are broken and write those down too.

Specifically, write down which of these have been

breached. It can just be two… Or it might be all five.
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Trust Types:
Vulnerability Trust - They don’t trust you with their
emotions, they don’t open up and don’t care to
entertain any conversation about the relationship.
Intention Trust - They don’t trust your intentions.
They’re automatically resistant to anything you
have to say, may have accused you of being
manipulative, or that you only care about yourself.
Sovereign Trust - They don’t trust that you trust
them to make decisions. They have to assert
themselves, oftentimes in an aggressive manner,
and may have accused you of being controlling.
Privacy Trust - They don’t trust you with sensitive
information. This will be breached if you go through
their phone, or disclose details of your relationship
with friends or family without their permission.
They’ll feel exposed, and this will turn to
resentment towards you.
Physical Trust - They don’t trust you with their
safety. They fear you might cause them harm, or
that you’re unable to protect them from harm.
Banging a door, or having an anger outburst is
often enough to trigger this at an unconscious
level. This is more common with women, but not
exclusive.
Learn more about Trust Types here.
Thorns, Fears, and Beliefs:
When it comes to identifying their Thorns, Fears,
and Beliefs, the main thing we need to make peace
with, is that our POV isn’t useful...
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We already know it. And if we stay locked in that,
we’re stuck with only 50% of the picture.

That’s why we need to put ourselves in our spouse’s

shoes and observe the situation as if we were them.

This is what we call the Clairvoyance Exercise.

This allows us to see from their perspective, to feel

their emotions, to think their thoughts. We can
then use all this in communication with them.

When our clients do this with their spouses, their

jaws hit the floor. They never would have imagined
how deeply our clients understand them. And that
alone, is often enough to make them feel more
loved than any amount of words or romantic
gestures.

This is also how I’m able to talk to my clients and lay

out exactly what their spouse is thinking, feeling,
and even what they’ll do... Without even having had
a single conversation with them.

My clients often say it’s like witchcraft because it’s

so accurate. It’s not witchcraft. It’s science.

And if I can do this without even meeting them...

with people who were stubborn as an ox, struggling
with depression, PTSD, midlife crisis, who refused to
open up or disclose any of their emotions... then you
can do this too with your spouse.

This exercise isn’t just great for giving you the

information you need… A lot of my clients find this
process highly therapeutic as well.

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In fact, you’ll know you’ve been successful when

you think to yourself that if you were in their
position, there's a good chance you would have
done the same...

It’s not to say they're right to do it. It’s that you feel
compassion for the deeper emotions that led them
to act in the ways that they did.

If we don’t go that deep because we’re scared of

what we’ll see, we’ll never go deep enough to make
them feel understood.

This is why it’s important to heal our own pains and

resentments... because we can’t pick up their lens if
we’re not willing to put ours down for a minute first.

Chapter takeaways:

● To fix any marriage, it is crucial to accurately

diagnose the underlying problems. This requires
going beyond surface-level communication and
identifying the Prime Directives, Thorns, Fears,
Beliefs, and Trust Types that have been broken
for your spouse. These five levers will help you
understand and address the core issues in your
relationship.

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● Your spouse may not be open to communicating
their needs and feelings, lack self-awareness to
express themselves clearly, or you might be
influenced by your own emotional biases. To
break this cycle, it is important to find
alternative ways to understand your spouse
without relying only on their direct
communication. Fortunately, we can identify
their Prime Directives and broken Trust Types
through observation alone.

● To truly understand your spouse’s Thorns, Fears,

and Beliefs, it is essential to let go of your own
perspective and have compassion for their
deeper emotions. The Clairvoyance exercise,
where you put yourself in your spouse's shoes
and observe the situation from their
perspective, can help you gain deeper insights
into their emotions and thoughts. This requires
healing your own pains and resentments to
approach the situation with empathy and a
willingness to see things from their point of
view.

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Step 2 - Go through a fast

Neural Makeover

“Working on yourself” is trendy on social media but

in practice, the message it sends to your spouse is
that they were right to break up with you, and
"you’re welcome".
Another huge problem with this “work on yourself”
advice is the lack of clarity.
What does it mean, and what does one do to "work
on themselves"?
Popular choices include:
Striving for a better work-life balance,
Working out,
Eating cleaner,
Reading books,
Doing yoga,
Journaling,
Therapy,
Etc…

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…but the possibilities are endless.
The thing all those strategies have in common,
though, is that while they’re generally good things
that you should do for yourself... they’re not the root
cause of what went wrong in the relationship. And
they don’t help your spouse fulfill their Prime
Directives.
That means that relying on these things to save the
relationship is like wanting to fix a broken car with
a fresh coat of paint.
If we’re brutally honest for a moment and we
observe the roots of the problems in the
relationship... you’ll be at the center as either the
person who caused it, or the person who didn’t stop
it.
This isn’t to make you feel bad, because it wasn’t
your fault.
Sure, your spouse will blame you… You may even
blame yourself; but if there was a car crash, who do
you blame?
The car, or the driver?
Assuming the car is functioning, most people
would blame the driver.
Well, if your Unprocessed Emotional Tension was
driving the car, then it’s not your fault for
crashing.
Unprocessed Emotional Tension are the fears,
traumas, insecurities, and negative emotions we
accumulate over a lifetime...

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And when we stack these tensions on top of our
stress and responsibilities, it can manifest in many
ways:
● Distress:
Being short, snappy, tense around our spouse
and having little patience for delays, mistakes, or
their emotions. Our Unprocessed Emotional
Tension will then come out in what’s infamously
referred to as: “the tone”.
This makes our spouse feel we’re angry at them.
That makes them defensive, and starts creating
resentments and feelings of unfairness... which
inevitably grow into Thorns.
● Stoicism:
A deep seated fear and inability to connect with
our emotions (may feel like a persistent sense of
apathy).
This makes the spouse feel alone and
unsupported, because they can’t seem to
connect with you emotionally. This makes them
feel insecure in themselves...
And eventually, as a defense mechanism, they
start to resent you instead. The Thorns
strengthen at this point when they convince
themselves you’re just not capable of
connecting (they’re wrong!)
● Fragility:
Being on the edge of breaking down
emotionally and feeling we have little control
over our emotions.
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This makes the spouse feel they’re responsible
for your every emotion. And after some time
they start walking on eggshells. No matter what
they do, or what they try, “there’s no winning
with you”.

In time, they start shifting their focus away from

themselves and more onto you. At that point,
they'll blame you for putting them in those
situations, which is a common source of Thorns
for the relationship.

This level of self-awareness is often scary and

uncomfortable, but necessary if we’re to change it.

When we go with the “working on yourself”

approach, we often just mask & suppress our fears
and insecurities, which kicks the can on the
problem.

You can “fake it till you make it” for 5 minutes; but
relationships are built on what we’re doing
unconsciously. When you’re not paying attention,
how will you sound? How will you come across?

If our Unprocessed Emotional Tensions go

unattended, we’ll end up in the same situation.
We'll re-cause the same problems in the
relationship because we didn't change the roots of
how we add to it.

What we need is genuine healing that eliminates

your insecurities. Not by trying to think or affirm
your way out of your emotions, but by rewiring how
they are coded in your neurology.

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It's kind of like deleting your phone’s cache to make
it run smoother.

That means you effortlessly become the version

of you that your spouse fell in love with.
Confident, easy to be around, and more efficient
in coping with stress.

Not to mention you’re able to resolve future

problems and emotions easily... so they don’t strain
your relationship once it’s rebuilt.

Your Neural Makeover isn’t just for the longevity of

the relationship after you save it, though... It’s
fundamental for the process of rebuilding it itself.

Because the actual process of rebuilding the

marriage only starts after we finish this step.

You'll only be able to make your spouse feel at ease

when you’re in a state of emotional harmony and a
natural, effortless confidence.

Then you can apply the next steps of the process

without carrying the vibe of Distress, Stoicism, or
Fragility.

So the actual rebuilding of the relationship process

ONLY STARTS after you are the one driving the car...
and your emotions are safely secured on the baby
seat in the back.

This is another reason “Work on yourself” is terrible

advice... It's like having a risotto recipe where the
only step listed is to turn on the stove.

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Time is always working against you through the
process of getting your spouse back.

So we need to make sure we do this healing

process as quickly as possible.

Which is why I do not recommend talk therapy,

CBT, EMDR, hypnotherapy, or any therapeutic
model that requires more than a single session to
permanently heal your traumas & insecurities.

And yes, it can be that fast.

Having a broken door knob for 35 years doesn’t

mean it’ll take 35 years to fix it.

For example, one of my clients, Ben, owns a

catering business, works crazy hours... which on top
of all the Unprocessed Emotional Tensions from his
life, packed him with a lot of Distress.

Naturally, this came across to his wife... and was one

of the main causes of the Thorns in their
relationship that led to her asking for the divorce.

Ben arranged his schedule so he had a single free

afternoon... and that's when he worked through our
Neural Makeover Tools.

His wife's demeanor towards him softened literally

the moment he came down the stairs.

From there, he applied the rest of the steps, and

now they’re happily in love and recommitted to one
another.

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Chapter takeaways:
● The popular advice of "working on yourself"
doesn’t address the root causes of the problems
in your relationship. While self-improvement
activities like maintaining work-life balance,
exercising, or therapy have their benefits, they
may not directly address the core issues that led
to the breakdown in the relationship or help
fulfill your spouse's Prime Directives.
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● Unprocessed Emotional Tension, which
includes fears, traumas, insecurities, and
negative emotions accumulated over a lifetime,
can manifest in various ways within a
relationship. It can lead to distress, stoicism, or
fragility, all of which can create a sense of anger,
disconnection, or insecurity in your spouse.
These unresolved emotional tensions can
contribute to the development of Thorns in the
relationship.
● Instead of simply masking or suppressing fears
and insecurities, genuine healing involves
rewiring how these emotions are coded in your
neurology. By addressing and resolving these
emotional tensions, you can become the version
of yourself that your spouse initially fell in love
with. This healing process is crucial for
rebuilding the relationship and creating
emotional harmony, confidence, and resilience
that will support the subsequent steps in the
process to rebuild the relationship.

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Step 3 - Dig them out of their

Entrenchment

Now that you’re back to your most badass self, we

can start the process to get them to fall back in love
with us.
But before we’re able to do that, the very first thing
we need to do is to get them out of their state of
Entrenchment.
Entrenchment is a state of hyper-defensiveness
where it doesn’t matter what you say, or what you
try... they only dig in deeper into their anti-
relationship stance.
This is caused by Thorns that have been left
festering too long. At that point your spouse no
longer trusts you, your intentions, or anything you
have to say.
It’s completely normal to feel powerless in this
situation because of how stubborn they’re being.
This is where most people get stuck.
Because it feels impossible to communicate with
an Entrenched spouse.

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And if we skip over the Disentrenchment part of the
process... and try to talk to them about the
relationship, our feelings, or why we need to work
on the marriage BEFORE we Disentrench them... all
we do is Entrench them more. 😬

Because if we have a thorn piercing our skin, it’ll

hurt to even touch it. And that’s the fatal mistake
people make constantly when trying to fix their
marriage.

So how do we Disentrench your spouse?

We need to get their trust back, so they feel

comfortable talking to us again.

Contrary to popular belief, trust doesn’t take a long

time to repair. Most of our clients go from “I never
want to speak to you again!” to their spouse holding
back tears as they talk about their feelings, in 1-2
weeks.

This is why we need to uncover the types of trust

that were broken, as well as the beliefs they have
about you in Step 1.

Because trust is simply a set of beliefs your

spouse has about you. And if we know what
those beliefs are, we can change them.

For example, let’s say the trust that is broken is their

Intention Trust. Meaning that they don’t trust your
intentions.

And one of their beliefs is that you are manipulative,

and will say anything to get your way, but don’t
mean it.
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If we say things like:
"I want us to be able to make amends"
"We have to do what's best for the kids"
"I forgive you"
"I'm fighting for this marriage"
"Can we work towards that?"
"We've been married for XX years"
"I'll fight for you"
"I'll always love you"
"I hear you, but..."
"What about XYZ?”
“I did X for you!"
"So what, you're just giving up?"
…you reset the clock and you’re back to square one.
This is one of the reasons people struggle with
Entrenchment.
Because they don’t realize when they’re doing and
saying things like these that keep re-entrenching
their spouse.
All we’re doing in saying these things is reinforcing
their belief that you’ll manipulate and say anything
to get your way.
This will Entrench them, because it's proof that
you’ll put your wants, feelings and opinions above
theirs.

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Which will only result in confirming they’re right
not to trust your intentions.
Instead, phrase it like:
"I can't believe I didn't even realize how [deep
emotion] you were feeling... ☹
I know you’ll probably just think I’m being
manipulative or whatever, but could I ask you a
couple of questions about this?
It's totally fine if you're not ready for that...
I just want to understand you and where you're at
better."
With this phrasing, and the appropriate tonality, we
start shifting their belief about you. And start
rebuilding trust in your intentions. (Which in our
example was the type of trust that had been
broken, but adjust to whichever Trust Types are
damaged in your case)
This works regardless if they’re willing to talk or
not... Because even if they're not, this is showing
that you respect where they’re at emotionally.
And this plants a seed in their neurology that
we're trustworthy.
For instance, this was a client whose husband had
been emotionally closed off for years. She applied
these strategies with him and it was easier than she
ever thought it would be to get him to open up.
And then her jaw hit the floor a few days later when
suddenly he was starting conversations about his
emotions.
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This is also a great example of how, if we’re not in

control of the relationship... it's because we’re not
being flexible enough with our communication
strategy.
We always need to adapt our communication to
the data we uncovered in Step 1.
What if my spouse is suuuuper stubborn?
That’s fine, because using this phrasing, we’re not
creating any opposition. There’s nothing for them
to resist, or be stubborn against.
If we say things like “I did everything for you!”, or
“Please, just give me another chance!” then we’re
creating opposition, and they’ll for sure be stubborn
and Entrench against you.
In about 90% of cases, these are secret resentments
they’re not telling you about... but that will race
through their mind whenever they get a message
from you.
So having that clarity on the Thorns they’re dealing
with internally (Step 1) is your ace-in-the-hole.
Because now you can craft a message that
shows them you understand them better than
they know themselves.

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This is the secret sauce that takes them from
completely cemented in their position... and
possibly ghosting you... to agreeing with you and
engaging in conversation in sometimes as little as
30 seconds.

Chapter takeaways:

● Before you can effectively communicate with

your spouse and work on the relationship, it's
important to disentrench them from their state
of hyper-defensiveness. Entrenchment occurs
when trust has been broken, and your spouse
no longer trusts your intentions or anything you
say. Skipping the disentrenchment process and
trying to talk about the relationship or your
feelings can further entrench them.

● Trust can be repaired relatively quickly if you

uncover the Types of Trust that were broken and
the beliefs your spouse has about you. Trust is a
set of beliefs, and by understanding those
beliefs, you can work on changing them. It's
crucial to be mindful of the words and phrases
you use, as certain statements can reinforce
negative beliefs and entrench your spouse
further. By phrasing your communication in a
way that shows you intimately understand
them and how they feel, you can start shifting
their beliefs and rebuilding trust.

● Flexibility in your communication strategy is

essential. It's important to adapt your
communication based on the information you
discovered in Step 1, when you uncovered the
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specific beliefs and Thorns your spouse has. By
crafting messages that show you understand
them better than they know themselves, you
can avoid creating opposition and resistance.
Instead, you can engage in conversation and
move them from a position of entrenchment to
agreement. Having clarity on their internal
struggles and tailoring your communication
accordingly can be the secret sauce to breaking
through their defenses and fostering productive
dialogue.

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Step 4 - Pluck Thorns

Now that we’re able to have a conversation with

them without them bolting like a jittery cat... we
can start plucking those Thorns one by one until
they’re all gone.

There’s a story I like about a lion that was terrorizing

villages. He was extremely aggressive, so the
townsfolk were starting to think it was a demon.

One day, a young girl disappeared from the village.

And after hours of searching, the villagers found her
sitting next to the lion.

The girl’s father rallied some men and armed them

with pitchforks and other farming utensils they
could use as weapons. They were prepared to try
and fight the beast.

The girl, however, was unharmed.

And the lion... much to the villagers' surprise, was

relaxed even with the villagers’ commotion.

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The girl happily returned to her father, with a wide

grin on her face. And when she approached him,
she raised her hand and revealed a long bloody
thorn resting on her palm.

She then proceeded to tell the villagers how she

noticed the lion had this thorn in his paw.

And the pain it caused was why he was so

aggressive. Once she removed it, the lion became
docile towards her.

This is the same thing that happens in

relationships.

It’s easy for us to judge our spouse’s behavior. To say

they’re hardly the same person they were. And get
upset because they’re being so mean.

That’s unhelpful, though…

Much more helpful is to recognize that, like the

lion, they’re just in pain. And hurt people hurt
people.

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Hurt turns to resentment. Fear turns to
hopelessness. And both turn into Thorns.

When people say things like “I love you, but I’m not
in love with you”, “We need to get a divorce”, “I
deserve to be happy!” or anything similar in which
they’re expressing their dissatisfaction with the
relationship... what they’re actually saying is that
there are Thorns pricking their skin.

These Thorns hurt, and they don’t know what to do

to stop the pain other than to pull away.

When we remove the Thorns - which again, must

be done ONLY AFTER we’ve disentrenched them,
or it will backfire! - we’re able to set a clean slate
upon which to build the new relationship from the
ground up.

The trick, though, and one of the biggest reasons

people mess up when trying to pluck Thorns... is to
not have a conversation about them!

There are no words scarier than “We need to talk”.

Any attempt to have “The Talk”, no matter how you

phrase it, will come across as lecturing and
pressure.

That will compromise trust and Re-Entrench them

right back.

Instead, we want to be able to have multiple

surgical conversations... Each lasting no longer than
3 minutes to pluck these Thorns without
generating resistance.

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A common mistake people make in these
conversations is that when they apologize... they
try to explain why they did what they did.

And the less responsive the spouse is, the deeper

into the explanation they go.

People tend to think that if the spouse understands

why they did what they did, then certainly they’d
forgive them... Right?

But the problem isn’t that they don’t understand

you, the problem is that they don’t feel understood
BY you.

More than understanding why you made your

mistake, they need to know that you understand
how your mistake made them feel...

They won’t care to even listen before then.

This is why it’s important to collect the data we

need on their Thorns and Fears in Step 1.

Because people think that we need

communication to understand one another... when
actually, the opposite is also true. We need to
understand one another to communicate.

Armed with that information, there are 3 main

things we need to do when we’re plucking
Thorns:

1. Take responsibility for the situation… and

genuinely apologize for how you either caused
the problem; or failed to prevent it.

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This is important because they already blame
you for the situation. If you attempt to defend
yourself, they’ll feel unheard, and will Entrench
further. They need to know you know that you
are to blame.

By taking responsibility, you can get them to

feel validated and understood. Do it right and
they'll even step up to defend you from yourself.

2. Phrase their feelings better than they can.

If you tell them you understand them, they’ll call

BS.

But if you’re able to verbalize how they feel

better than they can, it’s undeniable that you
understand them.

And that feeling of being understood is what

plucks the Thorn.

Again, this is why Step 1 is fundamental. We

can’t make them feel understood if we don’t
understand them.

3. Show vulnerability in your apology.

This is crucial for them to accept the apology.

The more vulnerable you are, the more
believable your apology will be. And the more
empathy and compassion your spouse will feel
for you.

Here is an example of a Thorn Plucking

conversation written by one of my clients:

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Unsurprisingly, he forgave her for that Thorn almost

instantly. So she just moved on to the next one.

Here’s another client who was blocked on social

media and had to email her Thorn Plucking. In this
case, I wrote her email with her (well… mostly for
her) and she just had to hit send.

To say her jaw dropped at his response would be an

understatement. But if we understand the boxes
that need to be ticked… And we tailor our Thorn
Plucking to match not only their Thorns, but their
Prime Directives, Fears, Beliefs, and broken Trust
Types - we can successfully pluck the Thorns every
single time.

And once the Thorns are plucked, they stop pulling

away from you.

Which means you’re now able to reconnect with

them without any more resistance.

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This is where it gets fun. 😎

Chapter takeaways:

● Recognize the pain behind their behavior. Just

like the lion in the story, your spouse's hurt and
pain can manifest as aggressive or hurtful
behavior. It's important to understand that hurt
people hurt people. Instead of judging their
behavior, try to recognize that they're in pain
and dealing with Thorns that are causing them
distress.

● Once you've disentrenched your spouse and

gained their trust, you can start addressing the
Thorns in the relationship. These Thorns
represent the underlying issues and hurts that
need to be addressed. However, it's crucial to
avoid having a single, overwhelming
conversation about the Thorns if they’re not
initiating one themselves. Instead, have
multiple surgical conversations, each lasting no
longer than 3 minutes, to pluck the Thorns
without generating resistance.

● When addressing the thorns, it's important to

take responsibility for the situation and
genuinely apologize for your role in causing or
failing to prevent the problem. Additionally, you
should strive to phrase their feelings better than
they can and show vulnerability in your apology.
By understanding their emotions and
demonstrating vulnerability, you can help them
feel validated, understood, and more open to
accepting your apology.
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*Cabbage = Affair Partner

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Step 5 - Get them to

chase you

Now that we’ve removed the Thorns that were

driving them away from us, it’s important we stop
chasing them.

Removing the Thorns first is crucial for this.

Otherwise they won’t chase you no matter what
you do, because they don’t want to get pricked.

But once that’s done, what we need to do is to get

them to chase us. That’s the only way to have a
healthy and fulfilling relationship that can easily last
a lifetime.

Not to mention this makes the rest of the process

almost effortless... because they’ll be the ones doing
most of the work to get your attention.

Think of it this way…

Humans are mammals. And aside from a prefrontal

cortex, our brain isn’t all that different from a dog’s.

Our limbic system works exactly the same. And if

you have a dog, or have ever interacted with a dog,
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you know that if you chase a dog, the dog runs
away.

They can’t help themselves. That instinct is rooted

in the most primal areas of the brain and will
override their behavior.

Every. Single. Time.

Humans are the same. If you’re chasing your

spouse, their instinct - that will override their
conscious thought and intention... is to pull back.

Keep chasing them, and you’ll chase them away.

If you want the dog to come to you, all you have to

do is hold out a piece of bacon, and it’ll come
running.

So what’s the crispy bacon that will get your spouse

running towards you?

Social Value.

You can think of Social Value as an invisible metric

your spouse has of you (and everyone else).

This is what tells them how much time they want

to spend with you, how much respect they have for
you, and how attracted they are to you.

Social Value is why rock stars have groupies. And

you can create that same effect with your spouse.
😉

When you chase your spouse, you’re

communicating your Social Value is lower than
theirs. They are the prize that you are chasing.
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This has an immediate effect in those primal
areas of their brain that kicks in the instinct to
pull away from you.

Because if your Social Value is lower than theirs,

they’d be settling in being with you. And no one
wants to settle.

The more needy you come across, like begging

them to stay... the worse the disparity in Social
Value, and the more repelling your efforts will be.

Be mindful that not chasing them isn’t enough. If

all you do is not chase the dog, it'll just go towards
the nearest food it can smell.

We have to increase your Social Value in their

eyes, so they can’t resist you.

And, counter-intuitively to what we might think...

Even if it will impress strangers, your status, wealth,
and appearance will matter very little to your
spouse...

These are superficial, and your spouse needs more

in a life-partner.

So here are a few examples of how to gain

irresistible Social Value for your spouse:

A. Influencing, instead of being influenced by

their mood

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If you follow them into a bad mood, then they’re in
control of your emotional state. And you show them
they have more Social Value than you do.

If you’re bubbly and ignore their bad mood, they

feel alone... and may distrust you because your
positivity won’t feel genuine.

The trick is to adjust to where they are, but not

follow them down the rabbit hole... and then pull
them into a better mood with you.

For instance, if they’re stressed and upset about

something from work. Instead of getting upset and
stressed back, you step into a place of support and
curiosity. You give them a space to vent, you
become their rock while they release the tension
from the day. When the tension is released, you
make them feel better about themselves, lighten
the mood, and help them relax...

This shows you’re the one who sets the

environment, but from a very respectful and
compassionate place. They’re following you with no
resistance at all... and they want to continue to
follow you because you’re so great at making them
feel better - Instant Social Value boost.

And this can happen insanely fast.

This is what one of the members of our Facebook

Group experienced in her relationship immediately
after she learned how to do this to flip his state.

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B. Taking your time

If they take an hour to text you back, and you reply

within the minute, what are you communicating
about yourself?

You’re demonstrating your time isn’t that valuable.

May even come across as though you’ve been
sitting at the edge of your seat for the past hour
waiting for their text. Not the most confident look…

If you take your time to get back to them... or even

open the message, so it doesn’t show ‘seen’... you
communicate instead that your time is valuable.
And you get them checking their phone often to
see when you’ve responded.

If they get upset, calmly let them know you were

doing something and move on. This is a sign your
Social Value is so far below theirs, that they'll have
the expectation that you should be at their beck
and call. (The only exception to this is emergencies,
of course)

Get them to value your time if you want them to

value you more.

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C. Aligning them with their Gender Psychology

A sad but overwhelming trend that occurs in about

90% of struggling marriages... is Gender Role
Reversal.

To be clear, this isn’t political. This isn’t about some

1950’s conception of what a woman is supposed to
do around the house either.

This is about biology, about our hardwiring -

regardless of who makes the most money or
vacuums the carpets.

What does matter, though, and is exceedingly

rare... is that men feel like men - powerful and
respected; and women feel like women - cherished
and protected.

A lot of career women struggle to “switch it off”

when they come home. And then inadvertently
present themselves as masculine to their
husbands.

On the other hand, men are being conditioned to

be “nice guys”, and genuinely believe that’s what
women want. Because that’s what we’re being told
in every aspect of media.

Even when they’re leaders in their company, they

become followers in the home.

Whichever the trigger that starts the Reversal, it

creates a negative loop where:

1. The man feels weaker, and tries to please the

woman
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2. The woman realizes he’s not confident and
that she can’t rely on him to lead or take care
of her

3. The woman takes it upon herself to fill the “get

shit done” role since he clearly won’t

4. He feels no matter what he does, he can never

please her

Until…

5. One of them has enough, and revolts

This is often the cause of midlife crisis, affairs, or the

spouse checking out, completely out of the blue.

When we align our spouse with their Gender

Psychology, they can’t help but feel a primal
passion and desire for you. This triggers the “You’re
my prize” mindset in their neurology we’re looking
for.

Case in point… This is what happens when you align

them with their Gender Psychology:

*MGR = Male Gender Role

When you stack multiple sources of Social Value

like this, you don’t have to worry about your spouse
going away.
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And it’ll be very easy for you to get them to want to
work on the relationship with you now... because
they want nothing more than to please you.

Chapter takeaways:

● Stop chasing and increase your Social Value.

Chasing them communicates that your Social
Value is lower than theirs, which can trigger
their instinct to pull away. Instead, focus on
increasing your Social Value in their eyes. This
can be done by influencing their mood, taking
your time to respond to them, and aligning with
their gender psychology.

● Influence their mood instead of being

influenced. When your spouse is in a bad mood,
it's crucial not to follow them down the rabbit
hole. Instead, adjust to where they are but don't
let their mood control yours. Be supportive and
curious, giving them a space to vent and
helping them relax. By being the one who sets a
positive environment, you increase your Social
Value and become someone they want to
follow.

● In many struggling marriages, there is a trend of

gender role reversal, where men feel weaker
and women inadvertently present themselves
as more masculine. To increase Social Value, it's
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important to align them with their gender
psychology. Let men feel powerful and
respected, and let women feel cherished and
protected. By understanding and embracing
these biological aspects, you can trigger a
primal passion and desire in your spouse,
creating a "You're my prize" mindset in their
neurology. This alignment will contribute to
increasing your Social Value and strengthening
the relationship.

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Step 6 - Make them fall in love

with you again

We’ve removed the Thorns that were keeping them

away;

And we’ve added so much Social Value that they’re

eager for your attention.

It is at this point that we can now make them fall in

love with us again.

Think of it like when you first started dating.

You weren’t in love with them straight away…

In fact, love was the last thing to happen.

You didn’t have Thorns when you met, but you still
had to, for instance, overcome your fear to talk to
them.

Then, the first thing to develop is an attraction, an

intrigue, a desire to spend time with them.

Only after do we develop love.

Here, it’s the exact same thing.

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A lot of people hear something like “I’m not in love
with you anymore!” and (understandably) their
world collapses…

They then either give up, because they have no idea

how to make someone fall in love with them...

Or they aggressively try to force the spouse to fall in

love with them, which does NOT work.

We have to walk them through the process of

falling in love.

We can’t just skip to the last step of the recipe and

expect to have baked the cake.

A lot of people are even convinced it’s “impossible”

to make someone fall in love.

And if that’s the strategy they’re using, they’re most

certainly correct.

But we’re smarter than that. We understand that

there’s a process by which people fall in love, and
we’re doing that with people every day.

And that’s fulfilling their Prime Directives.

Unlike Love Languages, which is what you need for

your spouse to know you love them. We’re gonna
show you how to fulfill Prime Directives.

Prime Directives are the boxes your spouse

needs ticked in their brain in order to fall in love
with you.

A lot of people think “I just need to show my spouse

I love them”. That’s not the problem anymore -
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we’re past that. At this point they don’t care if you
love them, the problem is that they don’t love you.

And that’s fine, because we can change that with

Prime Directives. We just need to identify and fulfill
them.

This is also something no one else knows. So in

breaking down your spouse’s Prime Directives,
you’re also able to blow affair partners right out of
the water.

Because whatever they can do, you’ll be able to do

far better. And you’ll be able to tailor it to the
emotional needs your spouse is most looking to
fulfill.

Think of it this way - when they first fell in love with

you, you didn’t know about these metrics... so you,
by happenstance, were able to get high scores,
which translated into them falling in love.

If they have an affair, it means that after your scores

dropped, the affair partner was able to score higher.

But when you know their Prime Directives, you

know all the metrics they need, and you know how
to score them. So the only thing stopping you from
getting the maximum score is your decision to
apply what you learned.

This is a 4 step process:

1. Identify their Prime Directive

PD’s are responsible for how we think and feel, so

they always manifest in how we act on a daily basis.
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If it makes it easier, you can think of it as “what kind
of person we are”. This is what you wrote down in
Step 1;

2. Confirm their Control Drama

The lack of a PD creates an unmet need that will

result in specific negative behaviors. These serve as
your confirmation that you identified the correct
PD;

3. Provide their Catalyst

Knowing what PD is lacking, we’re now able to start

providing them with what they need. This is what
will allow us to fulfill them, and this is what makes
them fall in love;

4. Speak in their Communication Style

Each PD has a different preferred communication

style. If the Catalyst is what you need to give them,
the Communication Style is how you need to
deliver it. Using the wrong communication style is
enough for them to reject your efforts.

So let’s simplify with some examples…

In Step 1 I used a Power Prime Directive as an

example.

So we identified they’re “get shit done” kind of

people. They’re self-motivated, resilient, impatient,
get frustrated easily when others struggle to follow
directions, and love to be challenged.

Based on that, we can identify their Prime Directive

is likely Power.
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We can confirm this suspicion based on their
recent behavior. If they got angry and got into an
argument with you, resorting to ultimatums and
sharp comments. This is their Control Drama, which
we can use as confirmation of our diagnosis.

If their Control Drama is different, like giving you

the cold shoulder and avoiding to even respond to
you... we know we were probably wrong in our
assessment and need to go back to the drawing
board.

This step is important because we need to make

sure that we have the right Prime Directive. So
having this second layer to confirm our diagnosis is
important and should never be skipped...

Assuming we’d gotten it right, we know that the

Catalyst, the thing they need to fulfill their Prime
Directive is faith in themselves and in their ability to
overcome problems through sheer force of will...

What we need to build up in them is their own

personal power... their belief in themselves, to break
through obstacles and prove people wrong.

How we communicate that is also important.

Because if we’re submissive, they won’t respect us.
If we’re lovey-dovey, doting on them, they won’t
feel any of it is genuine.

In fact, the tone you’re going for is more like a

rallying cry, or a motivational speech. That’s what
they’ll respond to most.

Trying to have drawn out talks about emotions with

these people will massively backfire...
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But if you can make them believe they can conquer
anything, they’ll feel empowered to take on the
world. And you’ll cement your position as the
person they always want by their side.

That is what gets Power people to fall in love.

Using another example…

Let’s say they’re more on the sensitive side. They're

big on communication, they’re compassionate and
caring, and big dreamers. This is indicative of a Love
Prime Directive.

We can now confirm our suspicion if their recent

behavior has been guilt tripping and gas lighting...
playing the victim and rewriting history.

If we confirm we have the right Prime Directive, we

now know what we need to do to get them to fall
in love with you.

All you need to do is open up all the layers and

connect with them at the most vulnerable level...
and give them a glimpse of how much more there
is to you than they thought.

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You can’t be direct with these people either... You
have to ease slowly into it, to be very mindful of
having a loving and nurturing tonality.
You need to talk about deep emotions, fears,
shame, traumas, and insecurities, that you’d never
shared so deeply before...
This is what Love people need from you to fall in
love with you.
If we try and just guess, or try to cover our bases and
do all of them, all we do is push them away.
Because what works for one Prime Directive is
detrimental to another.
But if you have clarity on their Prime Directive,
reeling them in is so fun and easy that it becomes
almost impossible for you to fail at this point.
And when they redevelop this strong, deep love for
you... they also have a renewed and unshakable
commitment to your relationship. Without you
having to draw a 50 point presentation on why they
should love you!

*Cabbage = affair partner

Chapter takeaways:
● To make your spouse fall in love with you again,
you need to identify and fulfill their Prime
Directive. Prime Directives are the boxes your
spouse needs ticked in their brain in order to fall
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in love with you. By understanding their Prime
Directive and providing the Catalysts they need,
you can create a strong foundation for love to
develop.
● Always confirm their Control Drama. The lack of
a Prime Directive creates unmet needs that
manifest in specific negative behaviors, known
as Control Dramas. By observing their recent
behavior, you can confirm if your analysis of their
Prime Directive is correct. If their Control Drama
aligns with your assessment, it serves as
confirmation that you've identified the right
Prime Directive.
● Each Prime Directive has a different preferred
communication style. It's important to deliver
your message in a way that resonates with their
Communication Style. For example, if their
Prime Directive is Power, a motivational and
rallying communication style may be more
effective. If their Prime Directive is Love, a
nurturing and emotional communication style
may be more impactful. Tailoring your
communication style to their Prime Directive
greatly increases the chances of them falling in
love with you again.

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Step 7 - Correct their behavior

with Psychological
Qualification

Einstein’s definition of insanity is "doing the same

thing over and over again, expecting a different
result"...

If we don’t change the destructive behavioral

patterns for BOTH of you, then in time you’ll end up
in the same place.

Destructive behaviors will negatively affect you,

them, and the relationship/family itself.

So it’s not about changing quirks in them that you

don’t like. It’s safeguarding the relationship from
sabotage they don’t have conscious control over...

Common examples of destructive behaviors that

we may need to correct in our spouse can be:

Indecisiveness,

Control issues,

Jealousy,
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Lying/omission,

Complaining,

Stubbornness,

Forgetfulness,

Etc...

You’ve done the Neural Makeover... so correcting

your unhelpful behavior patterns is much easier.

They haven’t, though...

So we need to be mindful of how we’re doing this...

because if we use the wrong approach, we’re likely
to generate resentment and Entrenchment
against us...

Which is often the reason they asked for a divorce

in the first place.

There are 3 Major Mistakes people make when

they want to correct their spouse’s behavior:

1. Attempting to correct their behavior too early

will backfire.

They need to recognize your high Social Value, and

you need to fulfill their Prime Directives.

Otherwise, they have no reason to change their

behavior. They need to want your approval, they
need a carrot to chase.

If we’re giving them feedback on what to change,

but they feel they’re settling for you... you’ll just
come across as more trouble than you’re worth.
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This will stack over time, and eventually they’ll
resent you.
2. Attempting to correct their behavior through
Punishment will backfire.
Complaining, pointing out why they’re wrong,
making them feel guilty, making them feel dumb,
or pointing out what they shouldn’t do is going to
instill negative feelings...
They’ll start feeling dumb, guilty, they’ll lose
confidence in themselves, start questioning
themselves, etc...
In the short term, it’ll look like these strategies
work... But after a certain amount of time, all they’ll
see is how you make them feel worse about
themselves.
At that point, they’ll start resenting you.
3. Attempting to correct their behavior directly
into the final result will backfire.
If we take a black and white approach... in which our
idea of what they should do is the only tolerable
thing to do, and everything else is wrong... they’ll
feel they’re being micromanaged, that your
expectations are unrealistic, and they can’t do
anything right…
If we’re not giving them wiggle room to grow and
expand into more helpful behaviors, we’ll stifle
them... and after a while, they’ll resent you for it.
So how do we change their negative behaviors
without generating resentment?

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That’s where Psychological Qualification comes in.

Psychological Qualification means you're giving

them positive traits they want to claim. And then
using positive reinforcement to progressively guide
them into those behaviors.

This means that instead of feeling bad about our

feedback, they enjoy, appreciate it, and it’s not
uncommon that they start craving it...

Because instead of pointing out what they’re doing

wrong, we’re using positive reinforcement to point
out what they’re doing right.

This builds the confidence they need to change

their behavior...

And with Qualification we make them feel proud of

their new wonderful qualities if they do the healthy
behavior.

For instance:

If they’re stubborn, instead of telling them they’re

stubborn and that they need to be more open to
other people’s ideas... which is what most people
do... we’ll get much farther with them if we instead
pick a time they did hear you, and phrase it as:

“I really appreciate you hearing me out [specific

situation when they did]. It’s not easy to challenge
our own thinking... so that really speaks a lot to
your character, that you’re devoted to truth, not
ego, like most people seem to be…”

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We’re Qualifying them to be more open to listen to
you. Because we’re equating listening to having
integrity, and not being driven by ego.

What do you think they’ll want to do more of in the

future? Be stubborn and egotistical? Or smarter
and “better than most people”?

And instead of complaining that they’re stubborn,

or telling them they should be more open... we’re
rewarding them for the time they were open.

So we’re not creating negative feelings of being

scolded. We’re creating positive feelings of being
celebrated.

This isn’t just the smartest and fastest way to

change someone’s behavior - it’s also the
kindest.

Keep reinforcing them in this way and you’ll be

surprised at how welcoming they become to your
feedback. Because it makes them feel good - and
they feel they’re growing into a better version of
themselves.

Remember that your spouse didn’t go through this

process. They didn’t develop the self-awareness you
did.

So their behaviors aren’t because they intend to

harm, they’re a result of conditioned habits, fears
and insecurities over which they have no
awareness…

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If we tell them their behaviors are wrong, they
won’t take it as “I’m doing something wrong”,
they’ll take it as “I’m not good enough”.

And that’ll trigger Entrenchment and resentment.

But with Qualification, we help them heal and

eliminate their insecurities. While at the same time
changing their destructive behaviors.

Then you’ll have a spouse who’s receptive to

hearing you out, who trusts you, wants to earn your
time and attention, is madly in love with you, AND
is willing to change for you too...

So you not only have the love of your life back - you
keep them at your side.

To have and to hold, to love and cherish, until death

do you part.

Chapter takeaways:

 Avoid correcting their behavior too early, using

punishment as a means of correction, or having
unrealistic expectations. These approaches can
backfire and generate resentment. Instead,
focus on using Psychological Qualification to
positively reinforce desired behaviors.

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 Psychological Qualification involves giving your
spouse positive traits they want to claim and
using positive reinforcement to guide them
towards those behaviors. Instead of pointing out
what they're doing wrong, focus on highlighting
what they're doing right. This approach builds
their confidence and makes them more
receptive to change. This helps them heal their
insecurities and conditioning, which can
effectively change their destructive behaviors
while fostering a stronger and more loving
relationship.

 Remember that your spouse may not have

gone through the same process of self-
awareness and growth as you have. Approach
their behaviors with understanding and
compassion, and use Psychological
Qualification to guide them towards positive
change.

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Success stories

You’re probably wondering who this system has

worked for, right?
Here are just a few of the success stories.
===
Case Study 1: Michelle (Operations Manager)
Before: Her husband was moving out of the house,
their marriage was hanging by a thread and the
more she tried to fix things, the more he pulled
away. She didn't feel valued, seen, loved or a
priority...
After: He’s moved back in, and recommitted to her
and their marriage. Their love and bond is stronger
than she ever thought possible.
Story: Michelle is a high-achiever in everything she
does, so feeling so powerless to change how her
husband felt and acted was driving her into a
depression fast. When she found out there was a
system that allowed her to do that, she rolled up her
sleeves, canceled her Netflix subscription, and
started implementing the Science of Connection in
every conversation with her husband.

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She diligently implemented this system and now
her husband - who was so dead set on divorce - is
sending her flowers. And they listen to my videos
together and share their insights with one another.
The best part? Because of how thorough she was in
implementing the system, she achieved all of this
in a mindblowing 3 weeks.

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Case Study 2: Ben (Business Owner)

Before: Bent over backwards to please his wife and

it was never good enough. Felt emasculated and
was starting to doubt his worth as a man, and
despite everything he did, she still wanted to leave
him.

After: Now he's the man of the house, she's more

attracted to him than she's ever been, and she's
even using the tools in the Program for her own
healing to please her husband.

Story: Ben is as busy as they come. He somehow

juggles 3 jobs, and unsurprisingly, that took a
massive toll on his marriage. Both in the time he
had available for her, and in the stress he carried on
his shoulders.

He arranged his schedule to have a single free

afternoon, locked himself in his home office, and
went through all of the Neural Makeover processes
we have in our Coaching Program.

When he came back downstairs, he was a different

man. And his wife noticed and commented
immediately how “something is different about
you”.

He works the same hours, but stress is a thing of the

past, and whatever time they do have together is
high-quality time. She’s head-over-heels with her
husband again, she started studying the Program
on her as well… And they routinely talk about their
takeaways with each other over morning coffee.

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Case Study 3: Rebecca (Pharmacy Supervisor)

Before: Husband was in a 2 year-long affair/serious
relationship with another woman, and wanted to
leave Rebecca to start a family with her.

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After: Now, he has left the affair, blocked her on all
social media, and is head-over-heels in love with
Rebecca again.
Story: Rebecca came in with the right mindset. She
was humble, receptive, ready to learn, and
welcomed being pushed out of her comfort zone.
She was exhausted because every interaction
turned into a heated argument, and she was ready
for change.
So when she told me about her husband’s affair, I
outlined a plan with her to flip switches in his brain
about the affair partner. She did. And the very next
time I spoke to her, she told me how her husband
had just broken up the affair because of the steps
she’d taken.
After that, during a boat party, he was literally
holding and cuddling with Rebecca to ward off the
women that wanted to flirt with him.
It took her two months to go from constant
arguments and a serious affair, to a loving and
romantic relationship with her husband again.
And now that she’s conquered Social Value and his
Prime Directives, her biggest relief is that she
doesn’t have to worry about him cheating ever
again.

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Case Study 4: Ellen (Therapist)

Before: Her “impossibly closed off” husband moved

into the basement while going through the divorce
proceedings. She felt powerless because he was
super stoic and impossible to get him to open up
about emotion.

After: She got him to come back to the bedroom,

scrap the divorce talk, hold her hand and show
affection, and even talking about his feelings with
her.

Story: Right from the moment she joined, Ellen was

as humble and diligent as they come. She’d
message us after our Coaching Calls to express her
heartfelt gratitude for the effort, energy, and
sacrifice we were investing in our clients, and that
just made coaching her a breeze.

Her husband was a very logical person, used to

being in charge, and it was “impossible to change
his mind”. But that didn’t stop her from wanting to
learn how to change his heart.

Initially, he was adamant in kicking her out and

sending her to live 8 hours away without her kids.

But after only 3 weeks of joining our Coaching

Program, she was getting hugs and cuddles from
this stoic man.

A few months later, their relationship had only

improved, and she updated us to let us know her
husband was like a changed man - caring and
romantic.
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Case Study 5: Jason (Marine)

Before: His wife called him abusive because of his

military style of communication, she moved out
and asked for a divorce.

After: Within two weeks of using our

communication formulas, she moved back in and
apologized for not being more understanding.

Story: Jason didn’t think he would ever be able to

communicate with his wife because of how
conditioned he’d been from his military career.

His wife was dead set on divorce, and even though

he didn’t believe it was even possible to change her
mind, he refused to give up without at least putting
in his 100%.

Over the first two weeks working together, he was

a new man, and I taught him how to disentrench
her and Pluck her Thorns. So that weekend when
she came round the house to pick up the last of her
stuff, he applied those strategies, disentrenched
her, and they had a deep and meaningful
conversation.

He did such a great job on that one conversation

that she moved back home soon after because of it.
And a few weeks later, she joined him in going
through the Program too.

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Case Study 6: Lacie (Nurse)
Before: Her husband started an affair that
developed into a serious relationship, and he even
left her to move in with the affair partner.
After: She not only got him back home, she got him
to cut off all contact with the ex-affair partner and
become the romantic husband she fantasized with.
Story: Lacie’s husband had moved in with the affair
partner, and had become a parent to her kids too,
so he told Lacie he’d never leave the other woman
because he had to think of her kids. This shattered
Lacie, especially since he seemed to have had no
problem walking out on their 5 kids together… But
she refused to let that defeat her.
Instead, she buckled up, studied the system,
applied it, asked for feedback, corrected what
needed correcting, rinse and repeat.
As she filled his Prime Directives, suddenly his mind
changed… He broke things off with the other
woman, moved back in with Lacie, and became the
husband and father Lacie always believed he could
be.
He’s also more romantic now than he’d ever been,
and Lacie feels she’s back in her honeymoon with
him.

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What To Do Next

The Science of Connection can help you save your

marriage and transform how your spouse feels
about you. Even if they’re completely convinced
there’s no hope and aren’t willing to put any effort
in.

So to recap, to become a Relationship Jedi - able to

break through your spouse’s defenses, stop the
divorce talks, and get them to fall back in love with
you - you need to:

● Identify the levers in their brain that are keeping

them stuck, and the criteria they need to fall in
love.

● Go through your Neural Makeover to become

the very best version of you as fast as possible.

● Dig them out of their Entrenchment with the

levers you uncovered earlier - so they trust and
are open to communicating with you.

● Pluck the Thorns that are at the root of the

problems in your relationship.

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● Build your Social Value so they’re the ones
chasing you.

● Fulfill their Prime Directives so they can’t help

but to fall in love with you.

● Change any destructive behaviors that could

spell trouble later - with Qualification and
positive reinforcement.

You can do it alone, which is extremely challenging.

It took me 7 years to figure this out and refine it.

Or you can take the easy path and work with me.

If you work with me, my team and I will do this

process with you. You’ll get results much faster
than if you were to do it alone, and you’ll have the
certainty you’re doing every step right.

You’ll have expert eyes and advanced tools to

decode the Matrix and identify the levers we need
to change how your spouse feels about you (Prime
Directives, Thorns, Trust Types, Beliefs, and Fears)...

You’ll be able to finish your Neural Makeover before

the end of the week, instead of spending a year in
therapy “working on yourself”...

You’ll be able to Disentrench your spouse no matter

what they say (we’ll craft your texts with you to
cover all possible scenarios)...

You can forget about paying lawyers, battling for

custody, and losing your assets. Because you’ll have
proven formulas to Pluck Thorns so you can stop
the divorce in its tracks...
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You’ll be able to get your spouse wrapped around
your finger (we’ll rebalance your Gender Roles and
build massive stacks of Social Value)...

You can forget about their affair, because we’ll turn

the levers in your spouse’s brain to get them to
break things off with the affair partner too (and turn
to you with undying loyalty)...

You’ll be able to fulfill their Prime Directives

effortlessly and have them worship the ground you
walk on (we’ll even decode their Prime Directives
for you)...

You’ll be able to correct their destructive behaviors

so you can build your happily-ever-after. And have
them drop to their knees to thank you for not
having given up on them.

This is NOT therapy.

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This is a step-by-step gameplan where my team
and I work directly with you and will be holding
your hand to implement the entire process.

It is expensive, but you get what you pay for and

unlike anyone else in this space, I guarantee results.

Our clients have gone from the brink of divorce to

back in a committed relationship again in 90 days
or less.

We’ve got limited spots, so if you’d like our help

with this, book a call below and we’ll walk you
through the details.

Book a Call

Again, this is for determined individuals who want

to put an end to the divorce talks for good and save
their marriage in 90 days, even if your spouse isn’t
on board...

Speak soon.

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Q&A

Q: “Does this work with stubborn and emotionally

unavailable spouses?”

● Yes. Those are two problems that conventional

therapy can’t help, but our system is designed
to work even better with these people.

Q: “Will this work if my spouse is in a relationship

with someone else?”

● Yes. We’ve worked with hundreds of people in

this situation. There are levers in their brain that
the affair partner was able to turn. We can turn
them back, so they fall out of love with the affair
partner, and we can have you turn all the right
levers for them to fall in love with you instead.

Some of their spouses had 2 year long affairs

and even proposed to the affair partner.

But that didn’t matter once we turned the right

levers.

Q: “Is this in a group setting?”

● Yes. Having a small and supportive group of

people going through this at the same time
keeps you accountable. It also helps you learn
faster by practicing with the group before
applying the techniques with your partner.

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Q: “Does this work with spouses going through a
midlife crisis?”

● Absolutely. A midlife crisis is the result of feeling

powerless over a long period of time. This is then
manifested as a rebellion, which makes it feel
like it came out of the blue.

We’ve helped so many people reeling their

spouses back from a midlife crisis. And every
single time the root cause of it was either an
unfulfilled Prime Directive, Gender Role
Reversal, or a drop in Social Value. If either of
these aren't corrected for a long enough period
of time, they'll trigger a midlife crisis.

We can help you to help them overcome that.

Q: “What if I’m not able to speak to my spouse?”

● So long as you’re legally able to contact them,

we can get them to stop ghosting you and
change how they feel.

Q: “Do I need my spouse to do this with me?”

● Not at all. Almost all of our clients did this

process without their spouse.
Our entire method is designed around
changing how your spouse feels about you,
without them having to be on board.

If they are, great. If not, we never needed them

to, in the first place. 😉

Q: “My divorce is finalizing in less than 90 days. Can

I speed up the process?”
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● Absolutely. You only need to Disentrench them
and Pluck the Thorns for them to no longer
want the divorce. We’ve had people doing that
as quickly as just two weeks. The rest of the time
is to rebuild your dream relationship.

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About the Author

Andre is an expert and savant in human

psychology. His background for decades was
studying Psychology and combining it with
Engineering principles to predict human behavior.
Then using that to deescalate conflict and
persuade leaders to make big decisions.

He pioneered this hybrid form of Psychology and

Engineering because he was dissatisfied with the
conventional models of Psychology. And he’s
responsible for numerous breakthroughs in that
field now that allowed him to map out the factors
at play in human decision making.

Now he’s helping clients use these strategies in

their marriages, and the results have been
amazing.

Andre’s worked with hundreds of individuals who

didn’t have their spouse’s support in saving their
marriage. And he took them from the brink of
divorce to a loving and committed relationship
again.

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Andre’s unique approach to communication and
relationships relies on understanding the absolute
truths about the spouse’s brain, and their unique
subjective realities, providing an effective and
reliable method to reconnect with them.

As the creator of Science of Connection, and the

CEO of Awesome U, Andre has worked tirelessly to
implement this system with his clients. His
unmatched success rate reflects his dedication to
this system, and to his every client.

Aside from his professional life, Andre enjoys

spending quality time with his wife, walking his
puppy, practicing martial arts, he’s a fan of all things
nerdy, and has fun complaining about how
scientifically inaccurate the movie is during date
night.

In this book, he shares secret knowledge that he

hopes will help men and women alike tap into the
Relationship Jedi within, and transform their
marriages. All without needing the spouse to be on
board to begin with.

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Here’s How To Use The Science

Of Connection To Save
Your Marriage
Many people are able to figure things out with the
spouse if they’re both actively working on it. The
problem is if your spouse has already given up,
refuses to even try, and actively tells you there’s no
chance of getting them back.

That’s where I come in. I help aspiring Relationship

Jedi just like you to break through to their spouses
and flip the switches in their brain that change how
they feel about you and your marriage.

Step 1: We decode their Matrix so we have a list of

all the switches we need to flip.

Step 2: We use special communication formulas to

rebuild trust & resolve the issues between you at
lightspeed.

Step 3: We flip the switches that get them to fall in

love and bend over backwards for you.

Most people are stuck in their old ways, thinking it’s

impossible to change someone’s mind if they’re not
willing to change.
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I’ve proven otherwise.

Now with my help, you can make this your reality

too.

If you’d like to get started, hit this link to Book a Call

with my team, and we’ll take it from there.

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