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Small Talk

The document discusses the concept of small talk, emphasizing its importance in social interactions and professional settings. It outlines characteristics of introverts and extroverts, provides techniques for mastering small talk, and suggests safe and taboo topics for conversation. Additionally, it includes tips for initiating and maintaining engaging discussions, as well as ice breakers for both social and business contexts.

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Soumil Agarwal
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10 views

Small Talk

The document discusses the concept of small talk, emphasizing its importance in social interactions and professional settings. It outlines characteristics of introverts and extroverts, provides techniques for mastering small talk, and suggests safe and taboo topics for conversation. Additionally, it includes tips for initiating and maintaining engaging discussions, as well as ice breakers for both social and business contexts.

Uploaded by

Soumil Agarwal
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Small Talk

Prof.SSRahul K Shukla
E: [email protected]
What is a small talk?
Let me know YOU
(Answer each question “true” or “false”, choosing the answer that applies to you more often than not)

• I prefer one-on-one conversations to group activities.


• I often prefer to express myself in writing.
• I enjoy solitude.
• I seem to care less than my peers about wealth, fame, and
status.
• I dislike small talk, but I enjoy talking in depth about
topics that matter to me.
• People tell me that I’m a good listener.
• I’m not a big risk-taker.
• I enjoy work that allows me to “dive in” with few
interruptions.
Contd.

• I like to celebrate birthdays on a small scale, with only


one or two close friends or family members.
• People describe me as “soft-spoken” or “mellow.”
• I prefer not to show or discuss my work with others until
it’s finished.
• I dislike conflict.
• I do my best work on my own.
• I tend to think before I speak.
• I feel drained after being out and about, even if I’ve
enjoyed myself.
• I often let calls go through to voice mail.
Contd.

• If I had to choose, I’d prefer a weekend with absolutely


nothing to do to one with too many things scheduled
• I don’t enjoy multitasking.
• I can concentrate easily.
• In classroom situations, I prefer lectures to workshops.
KEY

(If most of your answers are True, you are titled towards
introversion)
Who are introverts?

• Introverts are “geared to inspect”

• Extroverts are “geared to act”

• According to IQ scores, the two types are equally


intelligent.
However

• Introverts and extroverts also direct their attention differently:


if you leave them to their own devices, the introverts tend to sit
around wondering about things, imagining things, recalling
events from their past, and making plans for the future.

• The extroverts are more likely to focus on what’s happening


around them. It’s as if extroverts are seeing “what is” while
their introverted peers are asking “what if.”

Cain, Susan. Quiet (p. 168). Penguin Books Ltd. Kindle Edition.
FYI

• Introverts are not necessarily SHY. (Shyness is a fear of


social disapproval.)

• Introversion is a preference for environments that are not


overstimulating.

• They listen more than they talk, think before they speak.
Silence is impolite!
Forget what your parents taught you!

• Good things come to those who wait.


• Silence is golden.
• Wait to be properly introduced.
• Don’t talk to strangers.

PS: IN SAFE SITUATIONS, MAKE IT A POINT


TO TALK TO STRANGERS
Why is a small talk essential?

• You Have No Idea Where It Will Go: Small talk can lead
to a host of outcomes, from a merely pleasant exchange to
the signing of multimillion-dollar business deal.
• It Makes You Smarter: A recent study by researchers at
the University Of Michigan found that friendly, social
interaction can boost our ability to solve problems---as,
say, working a crossword puzzle might.
• It Feels Good: Humans are social beings; we crave
connection.
• It Opens Your Eyes: Small talk makes you pay attention--
“living in the present.”
Contd.

• You’ll Be Liked: People like people who are generous (and


confident) enough to engage them. Small talk isn’t just
about being gregarious or entertaining---it’s a gesture of
respect.

• You Have No Choice: Getting a job, working with


colleagues, winning new clients, entertaining existing
ones---all of it requires small talk. Also, companies want to
hire people who can think on their feet.
How to master your small talk?

1. Start with what is immediately in front of you: small talk


doesn’t have to be difficult. Don’t overthink it. Just start
with what is most immediate to you and the other person
in the conversation.
2. Ask for the name. If you do get distracted during the
introduction and miss the name, confess!
3. Take your cues from the other person about where they
are comfortable taking the conversation.
4. Share about yourself, but in small bits.
Advanced Techniques

# You have a few seconds to impress.

• Don’t flood smile: Don’t flash your smile immediately; take


time to smile.
• Sticky eyes: Pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation
partner's with sticky warm taffy even after they've finished
speaking.
• Epoxy eyes: In a group of people, you should watch the person
you are interested in, no matter who else is talking. If you
concentrate on that person even when they are simply listening,
you show that you are extremely interested in his or her
reactions.
• Don’t fidget: If you want to appear credible, try not to move too
much when your conversation really matters.
• See an old friend in them, not literally
Advanced techniques

# What do I say after I say “hello”?

• Match their mood: Listen and take a ‘psychic photograph’


of the expression to see if your listener looks buoyant,
bored, or blitzed.

• Prosaic with passion: Take a ‘psychic photograph’ of the


expression to see if your listener looks buoyant, bored, or
blitzed.

• Carry a “Whatzit”: Something that people will notice and


use it to find you as a delightful stranger.
Contd.

• Use “Whoozat” and eavesdrop in (sometimes)


• How do YOU spend your majority of time?
• Accentuate the pos-i-tive
• Comm-You-nicate
• Update your personal thesaurus
• Develop a “nutshell” resume
• Wait for the “me, too”
• Trash the teasing
• And, never the “naked” thank you.
Advanced Techniques

• Echoing
• Show as if you are like them
• Potent Imaging: You think like them and hint you share
their interests
• Echo the EMO: Facts speak, emotions shout. (By Helen
Gurley Brown in the Cosmopolitan Magazine )
Caution

• Chance encounters are for “chitchat.”

• Leave an escape hatch: Whenever you catch someone


lying, filching, exaggerating, distorting, or deceiving, don’t
confront the dirty duck directly. Unless it is your
responsibility to catch or correct the culprit – or unless you
are saving other innocent victims by doing so – let the
transgressor out of your trap with his tricky puss in one
piece. Then resolve never to gaze upon it again.

• Save your skeletons for later


How to make your chat excellent ?

1. Make eye contact.


2. Smile.
3. Find that approachable person!
4. Offer your name and use theirs.
5. Talk about appropriate subjects
6. Mind your language
7. Have a graceful exit
Don’t Just be obsessed with your self!
Yes, you are awesome, but keep it to
yourself.
How to start?
How to establish connection?

• You look totally at ease. I wish I could feel the same way
you do.
• That’s a great outfit (pair of shoes, bracelet, necktie). I love
fashion (good taste, jewellery).
• I almost stayed home to read a book instead of coming
here.
• I’d rather be watching basketball, but this is fun, too.
• I’ve never attended one of these events before. What’s your
experience with this organization?
• How did you hear about this event?
• This is an interesting organization. Have you tried any of
their outdoor events, like hiking or bicycling?
5 love language (Gary Chapman)

Words of affirmation
Quality time
Gifts
Acts of service
Physical touch
Safe Topics

• Current Events
• Business Events
• Sports
• Entertainment
• Share compliments
• Weather
• Work
• Travel
• News Headlines
• Food
Speak No Evil

• Stories of questionable taste


• Gossip
• Personal misfortunes, particularly current ones
• How much things cost!
• Controversial subjects when you don’t know where people
stand
• Health (yours or theirs). The exception is when talking
with a person who has an obvious new cast, crutches, or
bandage. In that situation, the apparent temporary medical
apparatus is free information. If you skirt the issue, it’s a
bit like having an elephant in your living room and
ignoring it.
Taboo Topics

• Religion
• Sex
• Orientation
• Politics
• Relationships (Wife/girl friend/Boy friend)
• Pregnancy
• Advising
• Giving Opinions
Business Ice Breakers

1. Describe a typical day on the job.


2. How did you come up with this idea?
3. What got you started in this industry/area of
practice?
4. What got you interested in
marketing/research/teaching?
5. What do you enjoy most about your profession?
6. What separates you and your firm from your
competition?
7. Why does your company______?
8. Describe some of the challenges of your profession.
9. What do you see as the coming trends in your
business?
10. What ways have you found to be most effective for
promoting your business?
Social Ice Breakers

1. What do you think of the movie/restaurant/party?


2. Tell me about the best vacation you’ve ever taken.
3. What’s your favourite thing to do on a rainy day?
4. What is a typical day like for you?
5. What’s your favorite holiday? What do you enjoy
about it?
6. Tell me about one of your favourite books
7. What was it like in the town where you grew up?
8. Who were your idols as a kid? Have they changed?
9. What’s your favorite restaurant? Why?
10. What do you think is the perfect age? Why?
T ips to master small talk
Fear: They worry that it will be boring, awkward,
or that they’ll run out of things to say.
• Think that other person is friendly
• Make your talk purposeful
• Don’t get too excited about your next thought.
• Ask good questions that show you’re engaged.
• Add juicy tidbits (Extend conversation)
• Channel your curiosity in the right area
• Let people sell themselves.
• Deepen the conversation
• Recognize cues
• Listen and remember key points
• Hold back on sharing how awesome you are
Exercise Time!

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