Scribd
Upload
21 views2 pages

spelling and sounds

The document highlights the complexities and quirks of the English language through various examples of homophones and paradoxes. It humorously illustrates the confusion that arises from English spelling and pronunciation, as well as the illogical nature of certain phrases. The author concludes by reflecting on the creativity inherent in the language and poses a rhetorical question about the pronunciation of 'Buick'.

Uploaded by

mariarosalordi
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
21 views2 pages

spelling and sounds

The document highlights the complexities and quirks of the English language through various examples of homophones and paradoxes. It humorously illustrates the confusion that arises from English spelling and pronunciation, as well as the illogical nature of certain phrases. The author concludes by reflecting on the creativity inherent in the language and poses a rhetorical question about the pronunciation of 'Buick'.

Uploaded by

mariarosalordi
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
You are on page 1/ 2

Thanks for sharing...

as an ESL teacher married to an non-native speaker I encounter these


daily...here's a few more for you:
"Even though we lived through a tough drought I thought we would survive." FIVE sounds for
"ough".
Or how about this? "The bear lost his fear of death and it breaks my heart." FIVE sounds for "ea"
And lastly: "The early bird turns the fern to get the worm." FIVE sounds for "er"...

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture..

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..


19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in
France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take
English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,
boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't
ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So
one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but
not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do
you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a
humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum
for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by
truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are
opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up
as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going
on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race,
which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when
the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?

You might also like