Scribd
Upload
2 views

WriteScore Revision

The document presents the test results for a 6th-grade essay written by Crisabelle Garcia, scoring a total of 9 out of 12 points. The essay argues against space travel, citing historical incidents of rocket explosions and the inhospitable conditions on Mars as reasons for prohibition. The evaluation highlights strengths in purpose, structure, and language, while noting areas for improvement in capitalization, punctuation, and spelling.

Uploaded by

crisabelle.garcia
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
2 views

WriteScore Revision

The document presents the test results for a 6th-grade essay written by Crisabelle Garcia, scoring a total of 9 out of 12 points. The essay argues against space travel, citing historical incidents of rocket explosions and the inhospitable conditions on Mars as reasons for prohibition. The evaluation highlights strengths in purpose, structure, and language, while noting areas for improvement in capitalization, punctuation, and spelling.

Uploaded by

crisabelle.garcia
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
You are on page 1/ 3

TEST RESULTS Bizik, Amy

Crisabelle Garcia Grade: 6


12/09/2024
FL B.E.S.T. Writing Space
Essay
Actual Points Possible Points
Purpose and Structure 3.00 4
Development 3.00 4
Language 3.00 4
Raw Score 9.00 12

Purpose and Structure


Introduction Sufficient
Progression Strong
Conclusion Sufficient
Transitions Sufficient
Focus Strong

Development
Dev of Support Sufficient
Attributions Precise

Language
Word Choice Strong
Capitalization Sufficient
Punctuation Sufficient
Spelling Partial
Usage Sufficient
Sentence Formation Sufficient
Tone/Voice Sufficient

Zeroes 0.00
Limited Response 0.00
Zeros: 1=Blank, 2=Not Enough, 3=Incomprehensible, 4=Off Topic, 5=Copied Text
Essay Response
Question: 1A
3...2...1... Blast off! However, something is wrong. The shuttle won't launch. BOOM! An earshattering sound engulfs the area around the
launching pad. Bystanders stare in horror as the rocket bursts into flames killing everyone inside. This incident proves that space travel is
incredibly dangerous and should be prohibited in the future.
Many rockets have burst into flames or exploded before killing many innocent astronauts. According to the passage Exploring Space, "Due to
mechanical effects, three astronauts died in the Apollo 1 fire." Exploring Space also states, " Seven astronauts died in the Challenger space
shuttle explosion." According to the author Phill Jones, " Seven astronauts died when the Columbia shuttle broke apart." These three incidents
are proof that space travel is incredibly dangerous. This is proof that space travel is something we should take seriosly and prohibit in the
future.
Space travel to other planets is not safe and should be prohibited. According to the passage Earth And Beyond, " Why live on Earth when you
can live on Mars?" Mars' atmosphere is not suitable for humans to live on. According to Matt Williams, " Why live on Earth when you can live
on Mars? Well strictly speaking, you can't." Mars has intense radiation and is practically unbearably cold. Adam Ozimek states, " The problem
with this is that there is almost nothing that could happen to Earth that would make it less hospitable then Mars." Mars has low gravity that has
harmful effects to humans bodies, dangerous radiation from cosmic rays, extreme cold, and an unbreathable weather. We should not take
space travel to other planets lightly. Space travel does take its toll on our bodies eventually. It would be safer to stay in Earth's atmosphere.
Rockets should always be checked before launch. According to the article Dreaming Of Space, " In 1986, the space shuttle Challenger
launched from the Kennedy Space Center and exploded about one minute after liftoff killing everyone inside. A study traced the problem to
cold weather that damaged the seal on the booster rockets." This shows that the engineers did not check the shuttle before liftoff and were
part of the reason the seven astronauts tragically died. Apparently, the study revealed that the agency had been pushing the shuttle launches
at extreme speeds and high rates. By doing so they put the lives of astronauts at risk. NASA should make sure to check the shuttle before
every launch so that no human lives would be lost.
Space travel should be prohibited fro these reasons: many shuttles have burst in flames, engineers don't check the shuttle before launch
resulting in a few deaths, and space travel to another planet is definitely not safe because the climate and atmosphere does not meet humans
needs. This is why I believe we should prohibit space travel.

You might also like