Building Inner Strength

What does it mean to be strong?

Posted Aug 17, 2010

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What does it mean to be strong? In the Merriam Webster Dictionary, the three top
definitions of the word are:

1. Having or marked by great physical power

 Source:

2. Having moral or intellectual power

3. Having great resources (as wealth or talent)

My definition of being strong tries to encapsulate all three: a strong person has great
capability at facing challenges. Being strong means having the resources, the mental
skills, and the physical capabilities to confront difficulties of all kinds. When you are
strong, you have the ample excess of energy and stamina, so that when facing a challenge
that depletes you of energy and inner strength, you still have enough left in you to act.

Some initial things to think about when starting to build inner strength:

1. Strength is the opposite of aggression: People act aggressively out of defense. When
one feels like they are not strong enough to resolve a situation, violence and aggression
come in handy as a means to deter and fend off others, thus avoiding real confrontation of
a conflict. Think about people you know and consider to be strong. Strong individuals do
not need to act aggressively because they feel that they have the power and skills to take
over the details of a situation and bring it to a close. Aggression is a means of covering
weakness.

2. Mental and physical strength cannot be separated: You can be the most
psychologically resilient individual and break down mentally if you lose a few days of
sleep. Physical and mental strength work in synergy and feed each other to form a strong
individual, and the opposite is also true: being physically inactive and out of shape can
make one sink down and vice versa. Several recent studies have shown that physical
exercise is an effective way for treating clinical depression (see reference to Dunn et al
below), and the medical community is now starting to treat stress from both physical and
mental perspectives. To build inner strength you must build both physical endurance and
mental muscle.

3. The first step is identifying your natural strengths: All of us are born with unique
capabilities and skills, and the way to build one's strength is to focus on these specific
skills and grow them. Some people run fast, others are flexible, some can lift significant
weight. When it comes to mental muscle, there has been significant work done in the past
decade on identifying natural strengths. Most notable is the work of Chris Peterson at the
University of Michigan, together with Martin Seligman of UPenn, the founder of the
positive psychology movement. You can find out your natural strengths at the VIA
Institute's website, and learn more about Character Strengths and Virtues in Peterson and
Seligman's excellent and thorough book. First identify what your natural strengths are,
and then start working to enhance them further. Don't focus on what you know you are
just not good at.

4. Mental strength is harder to track: It's easy to notice changes in physical strength:
weight is lost, muscles are toned, and breathing becomes easier after running a short
distance. It's much harder to notice differences in mental strength, and sometimes it
simply helps to take notes: have you been losing your temper less often? Are you
noticing a change in the way people respond to you? How do you feel when you open
your eyes in the morning?

Building inner strength is a lifelong task. If done right, not only will it pay off when
difficulty arises, it will become habit, and eventually a part of your identity. Be strong!

Have you ever wondered how to develop your inner strength and power? How many
times have you wished that you had more willpower or self-confidence, inner strength
and power? How often have you lacked inner strength and power, or lacked enough
persistence to follow your decisions and plans?

Inner strength and power is not something that you are born with, but it can be developed
like any other skill. Your inner strength consists of self discipline, self control, willpower,
detachments, persistence, peace of mind, and the ability to concentrate.

Your willpower on the other hand is the inner strength to take actions, make decisions,
manage and execute any task, regardless of any resistance, difficulties, or discomfort. It is
the ability to overcome temptations, negative habits, laziness, and to carry out actions,
even if they are tedious and unpleasant.

Once you train and exercise your willpower, you will be full of courage, strength, and
assertiveness. As your inner strength and power grows, it will become easier for you to
get rid of attitudes and habits that are a hindrance in your way to a better life.
“Our inner strengths, experiences, and truths cannot be lost, destroyed, or taken away.
Every person has an inborn worth and can contribute to the human community. We all
can treat one another with dignity and respect, provide opportunities to grow toward our
fullest lives and help one another discover and develop our unique gifts. We each deserve
this and we all can extend it to others.” ~ Mark Twain

Listed below are 5 tips to develop your inner strength and power, thus enrich your overall
life.

1. Practicing Meditation

One of the best ways to develop your inner strength and power is to practice meditation
as it helps you relax in many ways, provides relief from stress, and boosts your energy
levels. A few relaxation techniques you can follow are:

 Strictly focus on breathing and nothing else.

 Count your breaths, as this will help you in concentrate on breathing.
 The sharpness of your focus will lessen, once your breathing evens out. You will
begin to think more clearly and other stray thoughts that often seem to jumble our
minds will be cleared.
 Try again to return your concentration to the breathing, and begin counting again.

2. Breathe Deep

Learn the art of deep breathing appropriately, so that your inner strength and power are
enhanced. The demand of oxygen for your brain increases, when you feel tensed, whereas
shallow breaths reduce the intake of oxygen that leads to suffocation of the brain cells.

Breathe through your nose until you feel full, though not excessively so. While you deep
breathe, your abdominal area will increase and your chest will rise. While exhaling, draw
your lower abdominal area in, followed by the upper. Stay in that position for half a
second, and then continue with the exercise.

3. Laugh Freely

Laughter helps a great deal in boosting your inner strength and power, as it causes the
release of endorphins. Having a good laugh makes you feel good about yourself, which
makes your energy levels rise.

When you genuinely laugh, there is a rise in your blood pressure and heart rate that
makes the blood flow more efficiently throughout the body. Remember, that more blood
flow results in higher energy levels.

4. Forgive Easily
If you hold a grudge against anyone, the pent up stress can make you feel as if the weight
of the world is on your shoulder. Such a feeling of emotional drain can be very
unproductive and can completely consume you, thus it is better to forgive and let go.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you should forget what hurt or angered you; instead you
should be the higher person and show that nothing can keep you down. It takes you
beyond the role of being a victim, and places you in the driver’s seat. You should not be a
victim, instead, take control of the situation and expend your energy elsewhere.

5. Handle Obstacles

Learning to handle obstacles is the best way to exercise your inner strength and power,
stand your ground, and succeed. The world presents you with various challenges so that
you learn how to develop mental strength, grow more confident and strong.

To succeed in overcoming obstacles, you need to have the inner strength and power to
stick through any adversity. You must have the mindset to believe more in yourself than
in the obstacles, and have the willingness to do what it takes to turn the obstacles around.
Take action and overcome them!

Your personal success and personal failure, all start in the mind. Success in life is about
managed thoughts, focused attention, and deliberate action.

You need to eliminate negative beliefs that have been holding you back from reaching
your goals, by tapping into the power of your unconscious mind. Your inner strength and
power develops by overcoming inner resistance.

How do you develop your inner strength and power? What helps you achieve it, and how
do you get inspiration to achieve this strength and power?

Inner Strength Is within Your Reach

There are simple and effective methods for developing these powers and attaining inner
strength:

1. Refusing to satisfy unimportant or unhealthy desires.

2. Doing things that are useful, but which you resist doing.

By overcoming inner resistance to do a certain task you develop inner power and
strength.

Refusing to satisfy useless, harmful or unnecessary desires, and abstaining from negative
reactions adds to your inner strength. Intentionally acting contrary to your habits, on
certain occasions, would sharpen and strengthen your inner strength.
You get stronger through constant practice, just like exercising your muscles at a gym
makes your muscles stronger. In both cases, when you need inner power or physical
strength, they are available to you and are at your immediate disposal.

Inner Strength Exercises:

1. Don't read the newspaper for a few days.
2. Now and then, drink your coffee or tea without sugar.
3. Climb up the stairs instead of taking the lift.
4. Park you car a little farther away from you destination, so that you have to walk.
5. Now and then choose not to watch one of your favorite TV programs.
6. Read a book that is useful and informative, but which you find boring.
7. Curb your desire to criticize people.
8. Delay your desire to retort angrily.
9. Try to get out of bed quickly on a cold day.

These are only a few examples to show you how you can develop your inner strength. By
practicing these or similar exercises you gain inner power, which you can use when you
are in need of it. Practicing these simple exercises, and later, more advanced ones, you
develop your inner muscles, just like lifting barbells develops your physical muscles.

You would gain a lot, if you follow a systematic method of training. In time, you would
gain control over yourself, your habits, your reactions and your life. This will take you
closer to achieving you dreams and your goals.

Here are 10 ways to build inner strength:

1. Learn to relax
Building inner strength does not mean rushing around and draining ourselves. To build
inner strength, it’s important to have some energy. If there are difficulties – with
finances, family, work, etc. – find a way to recharge the batteries. If that means going for
a run, meditating, taking a bath, reading, do it. When we prioritize and choose our battles
wisely and take the time to recharge, we’re in a much better position to handle whatever
comes our way

2. Spend time with positive, productive people

Again, personal energy reserves are important to cultivating inner strength. Spending
time with people who care for themselves and others is a terrific way to gain and
maintain energy. Negative people are energy sappers; they have a tendency to complain
and make other’s lives more difficult. When trying to build inner strength, this is an
unnecessary burden. Also, spend time with people who are productive and accomplished
– energy flows this way also.
3. Forgive ourselves
When trying to cultivate and carve out a new, stronger identity, it’s possible that we’ll
reflect on times that we may have come up short. It cannot be emphasized enough: the
past is the past. Again, this is a difficult thing to do. However, when we’re actively trying
to improve ourselves, especially our character, it’s very important that we have the ability
to forgive ourselves from any and all past mistakes that we’ve made.

4. Build confidence
If we’re going to build upon our inner strength, it’s helpful to be in a confident state of
mind. There are a couple of ways to achieve this. First, reflect upon any and all past
accomplishments and ask if there were any roadblocks that needed to be overcome at the
time. This is important because it reinforces that objectives can be achieved despite of
difficulty. Second, remember that nobody is perfect. Even people who we think are
successful still have difficulties in life. It’s often inner strength that is the deciding factor.

#5 Try using affirmations

Many people have found affirmations to be an important part of their being. When trying
to cultivate a new, stronger self, come up with some affirming phrases to state (even if
it’s to just us) throughout the day. Maybe try saying a few affirmations first thing in the
morning and a few when going to bed. It’s important to remind ourselves that we’re
valuable and each brings something unique to this world. Add in some affirmations that
include phrases on inner strength.

#6 Create outer strength

Developing a strong inner self is actually more holistic than it may sound. It’s important
to have a strong foundation by taking care of our physical needs. We should be taking the
time out to get in some kind of physical exercise – running, biking, yoga, etc. – to build
upon and maintain this foundation. Also, make a conscious effort to eat healthy food and
get an adequate amount of sleep each night.

#7 Watch or read something motivational

There are people, past and present, who have achieved extraordinary success mostly
because they were exceptionally strong of mind. Some suggestions for people to listen to
are: Stephen Covey, Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn, Wayne Dyer, Oprah and Tony
Robbins. Some of the people on this list overcame some very difficult circumstances on
the way to achieving what they have.

#8 Take responsibility
Here’s something very important: we cannot (cannot!) build inner strength by making
excuses. If there is a situation that we’re responsible for and we fail, we must own up to
it. Is it uncomfortable? Yes. But it’s absolutely necessary to take responsibility for our
actions. Mentally strong people do not make excuses for themselves. If we want to
cultivate a core of inner strength, we must follow their examples. If a mistake is made,
admit it, forgive, and move on.

#9 Work towards short and long-term goals

One terrific way to gain inner strength is by achieving our goals step by step. Notice the
three words “step by step.” Sometimes, we have a tendency to want things now. This
cannot be so with anything worthwhile, but here’s what we can expect: we can expect to
earn inner strength with every step that we take towards the achievement of our goals.
Nothing breeds confidence, accomplishment and inner strength like progress. Progress is
one of the keys to building stronger versions of us.

#10 Celebrate success

This success doesn’t have to be money or status; in fact, it probably won’t be. But if we
consistently apply principles to build a stronger person, we’ll see definite results. In being
stronger people, we can expect to earn rewards that others will not. When things begin to
come to fruition, make sure to savor moments like these. All of that hard work in
developing character has paid off and will continue to do so.

Many people are aware of the need for ongoing self-improvement. But often the
emphasis is placed on external factors: physical fitness, acquiring skills to make yourself
a stronger leader, or executive acumen.

However, none of that will get you where you truly want to go without support from a
strong inner core. Few understand this better than Jennifer Maanavi, Owner, CEO and
Co-Founder of Physique 57 . Maanavi, a YPO member with a background in both dance
and Wall Street finance, advocates that both the physical and mental core need regular
workouts.

After an MBA with high honors from Columbia and a long career with Morgan Stanley,
Maanavi distressed at the closing of her favorite fitness studio that featured The Lotte
Berk Method which was an exercise technique inspired by ballet. Unwilling to give up
her beloved workout Maanavi leveraged her own inner strength along with her brains and
her partner, Lotte Berk expert Tanya Becker to build Physique 57 into a unique and
successful fitness company with locations in 4 countries and more than 100 employees.

Maanavi knows that the key to building external success comes from inside. Here are her
tips to building up your inner strength.

1. Ask yourself "Why?" Then find your answer.

"I've seen people that most successfully avoid complacency and mediocrity when they
have a purpose, when they can answer the Why question." Maanavi explains, "I have a
favorite quote from Shakespeare: 'The meaning of life is to find your gift.' When you have
a purpose you do your best work, you find your deepest strength. That's when the desire
for SOMETHING can transcend the desire for safety. Needing to make a difference
overcomes the fear of failing." Greater focus on purpose cultivates the strength and
motivation to tackle setbacks.

2. Put yourself first.

Maanavi firmly believes that actual work/life balance doesn't exist. Making your well-
being your top priority will help you find the life flow that you can control and maintain.
It's like filling your own well or putting on your own oxygen mask before trying to help
someone else. "Strength comes from knowing you have the equipment and tools to handle
life's challenges," says Maanavi. "Give yourself time to build that equipment and procure
the tools to direct the life you want to lead. I argue that being egocentric makes you a
stronger contributor to your own goals, which ultimately provides a positive outcome for
those in your sphere of influence who rely on your strength for progress."

3. Train your mental and emotional body, as well as your physical self.

"Your body is stronger than you think and it WILL give you what you need, when you
need it, IF you feed it the right mindset. That's as important as the right nutrients. A
positive mindset and an even pace will get you through even the roughest of times."

4. Decide, commit, and act.

"Being strong relies on the efficient use of energy," she explains. "Indecision saps energy
and promotes the failure to act, so learn to be decisive. I consider that a gift you give to
yourself and others."

5. Don't let fear factor into your decision making.

Maanavi hates to see people reject opportunities because of the fear that they can't do it or
something might go wrong. "I understand the need to consider the pros and cons of our
decisions, but be self-aware, too. Are you identifying risks or being just plain fearful? If
fear is keeping you from the next step/adventure/challenge, then you are allowing it to
defeat you. It makes you your own worst enemy, derailing your growth and
development."

6. Embrace what scares you.

Physique 57 has a tagline: Do the undoable. For Maanavi, this means proving that you
can take on immense challenges, which will yield increased confidence and inner
strength. "Life can be a constant struggle between what you don't think you can do (and
remain in status quo) and what you absolutely can do (progress). Strength comes from
doing what you thought you couldn't do. When you swap out comfort for challenge,
change happens and the result is a better, stronger you. It is exhilarating and
memorable."

7. De-clutter your mind.

Even as little as 10 minutes of meditation a day removes the mental junk that depletes
your energy. It restores focus and clarity. Maanavi insists, "The people I know who
meditate are one step ahead of others. Their minds move faster, they are mentally clear
and much more decisive. They are a force to be reckoned with."

8. Become your own best friend.

Maanavi never minds spending time alone: "When I exercise or prep for a tough
assignment, I feel like I am spending time with my best friend. I love the joy of watching
that person make noticeable progress and, even better, breakthroughs. This time spent
with my striving self is mentally nourishing and gives me the strength to do it again and
again. I like that person and want to see her often."

9. Practice calm and self-control in adversity.

"Aggression eats away at strength and creativity, replacing them with hostility and
closemindedness," she explains. "Panic also weakens the soul, preoccupying the mind
and prohibiting your light from shining through." Replace them with calm, controlled
perseverance, which will help you achieve whatever you've set out to do.

Each week Kevin explores exclusive stories inside YPO, the world's premiere peer-to-
peer organization for chief executives, eligible at age 45 or younger.

If there is one thing you can count on in the business world, it's inconsistency. The
journey is always a series of ups and downs. Challenges come and become obstacles.
Opportunities become triumphs. The one constant is you, and how you deal with all the
change. If you are weak inside, you will be batted about like a rowboat in a hurricane.
But those who cultivate inner strength are able to weather any storm and can travel great
distances at speed when the seas are calm.

My greatest successes have come when I used my inner power to make the most of the
good times. And when times were rough, ultimately it was a strong inner core that got me
through the worst. You can tune up your inner strength with a few key exercises, just as
you would your body. Here are some tips:

1. Know who you are.

Insecurity is an inner-strength killer. Your personality is the foundation of power. Get to

know it well. Use tools like StrengthsFinder and the work of Kathy Kolbe to understand
who you are and how you function best. Then, work on getting comfortable in your own
skin. The happier you are with yourself, the less the outside world can do damage, and
the more you can give in peace.

2. Spend time in silence.

The world is a noisy place. Distractions and disruptions can chip away at your core,
leaving you frazzled and beat up. Take time to rejuvenate. Set aside one day a month to
completely unplug from everything. That means no email, music, TV, or people. It's a
great time to connect with nature and just sit with your thoughts. The only way to calm
your inner chaos is with 100 percent focus.

3. Set a routine.

Every ounce of energy wasted drains your inner strength. Why do things inefficiently and
redundantly? Control what you can control so you can focus your efforts and brainpower
on the things you can't control. Grab a notebook. Separate your daily tasks into repetitive
tasks and thinking tasks. Then create processes and routines for the repetitive tasks.
You'll be thrilled with the time and brain space you just found.

4. Create the right circle.

Hanging out with the wrong people can deplete your energy with every visit. Their inner
weakness can suck the life from your inner core. Build your world with others who are
strong inside. Keep company with those who celebrate you and feed positive energy into
your life. Be brutal and protective about the company you keep. One sour person can take
down the whole community.

5. Gain control of your body.

It's tough to feel strong inside if you are unhealthy outside. Make a strong effort to be fit
and attractive. Eat well, exercise, and dress in a way that makes you feel good about
yourself. Be proactive about your health, and you can use your body to strengthen your
soul. I gain much of my strength from kayaking and running. Sure I struggle with
weight (who doesn't?), but I work hard to stay strong and attractive for the woman I love.
Make yourself feel good when you look in the mirror and you'll start the day feeling
powerful.

6. Give yourself a good home.

When you can't go home and relax at night, you begin every day with a weak start. Get
your house in order. If your relationship is bad, fix it or end it. If the kids are out of
control, work with professionals to right the ship or send them off to boarding school.
Make sure you live in a home that makes you feel happy and proud. Your home should
be a safe haven that is worth working and fighting for.

7. Connect with the source of your power.

Regardless of your religion, you can gain inner strength by connecting with your spiritual
source. Through prayer, meditation, or simply deep thought, you can center yourself in
the universe and understand your role in something bigger and worthy. Connect your core
with the world around you, and greatly amplify your inner strength.

5 Powerful Exercises To Increase Your

Mental Strength

My Say Contributor


The following guest post is by Amy Morin, a licensed clinical social worker in Lincoln,
Maine. In addition to working as a psychotherapist, she is also an adjunct college
psychology instructor and she serves as About.com's Parenting Teens expert.
Amy Morin

Psychology often discusses mental health -- but what’s not often discussed is a clear
definition of mental strength. To me, mental strength means that you regulate your
emotions, manage your thoughts, and behave in a positive manner, despite your
circumstances. Developing mental strength is about finding the courage to live according
to your values and being bold enough to create your own definition of success.

Mental strength involves more than just willpower; it requires hard work and
commitment. It’s about establishing healthy habits and choosing to devote your time and
energy to self-improvement. (Check out Cheryl Snapp Connor's post, based on my list of
the 13 things mentally strong people avoid.)

Although it’s easier to feel mentally strong when life seems simple -- often, true mental
strength becomes most apparent in the midst of tragedy. Choosing to develop skills that
increase your mental strength is the best way to prepare for life’s inevitable obstacles.

Many exercises exist that can help you develop mental strength. But here are five that can
get you started:

1. Evaluate Your Core Beliefs

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We’ve all developed core beliefs about ourselves, our lives and the world in general.
Core beliefs develop over time and largely depend upon our past experiences. Whether
you’re aware of your core beliefs or not, they influence your thoughts, your behavior and
emotions.

Sometimes, core beliefs are inaccurate and unproductive. For example, if you believe that
you’ll never succeed in life, you may be less apt to apply for new jobs -- and
inadvertently, you may not present yourself well on job interviews. Therefore, your core
beliefs may become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Identify and evaluate your core beliefs. Look for beliefs that are black and white, and
then find exceptions to the rule. Very few things in life are “always” or “never” true.
Modifying core beliefs requires purposeful intention and hard work, but it can change the
entire course of your life.

2. Expend Your Mental Energy Wisely

Wasting brain power ruminating about things you can’t control drains mental energy
quickly. The more you think about negative problems that you can’t solve, the less
energy you’ll have leftover for creative endeavors. For example, sitting and worrying
about the weather forecast isn’t helpful. If a major storm is headed your way, worrying
about it won’t prevent it. You can, however, choose to prepare for it. Focus on what is
only within your control.

Save your mental energy for productive tasks, such as solving problems or setting
goals.When your thoughts aren’t productive, make a conscious effort to shift your mental
energy to more helpful topics. The more you practice expending your mental energy
wisely, the more it will become a habit.

3. Replace Negative Thoughts with Productive Thoughts

Although most of us don’t spend time thinking about our thoughts, increasing your
awareness of your thinking habits proves useful in building resilience. Exaggerated,
negative thoughts, such as, “I can’t ever do anything right,” hold you back from reaching
your full potential. Catch your negative thoughts before they spiral out of control and
influence your behavior.

Identify and replace overly negative thoughts with thoughts that are more productive.
Productive thoughts don’t need to be extremely positive, but should be realistic. A more
balanced thought may be, “I have some weaknesses, but I also have plenty of strengths.”
Changing your thoughts requires constant monitoring, but the process can be instrumental
in helping you become your best self.

4. Practice Tolerating Discomfort

Being mentally strong doesn’t mean you don’t experience emotions. In fact, mental
strength requires you to become acutely aware of your emotions so you can make the best
choice about how to respond. Mental strength is about accepting your feelings without
being controlled by them.

Mental strength also involves an understanding of when it makes sense to behave

contrary to your emotions. For example, if you experience anxiety that prevents you from
trying new things or accepting new opportunities, try stepping out of your comfort zone if
you want to continue to challenge yourself. Tolerating uncomfortable emotions takes
practice, but it becomes easier as your confidence grows.

Practice behaving like the person you’d like to become. Instead of saying, “I wish I could
be more outgoing,” choose to behave in a more outgoing manner, whether you feel like it
or not. Some discomfort is often necessary for greater gain, and tolerating that discomfort
will help make your vision a reality, one small step at a time.

5. Reflect on Your Progress Daily

Today’s busy world doesn’t lend itself to making much time available for quiet
reflection. Create time to reflect upon your progress toward developing mental strength.
At the end of each day, ask yourself what you’ve learned about your thoughts, emotions
and behavior. Consider what you hope to improve upon or accomplish tomorrow.

Developing mental strength is a work in progress. There is always room for

improvement, and at times this will seem more difficult than at other times. Reflecting
upon your progress can reinforce your ability to reach your definition of success while
living according to your values.

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