EAP1
EAP1
Maria Stoicescu1
Abstract
The use of online dating websites and applications is becoming an increasingly accepted
way to meet a potential partner. Dating is known to be an ambiguous and contradictory
process, highly vulnerable to influences from cultural settings. In this paper I argue upon
the capabilities online dating may have in reframing the dating process and in generating
changes in the social structure of our society. These changes would result in the
adherence of a globalized dating culture as online dating applications increase in
popularity world-wide. This paper also reviews literature on behaviour in online dating
environment, underling the advantageous characteristic that computer-mediated
communication is known to have. Moreover, a retrospective with regard to popular
concepts that explain relationships in the digital era is made.
Keywords
Online dating, culture, globalization, digital society, modern relationships, computer-
mediated communication, online behaviour
The current literature review seeks to understand what has been said about online dating
so far by exploring studies, theories and concepts relevant in describing the
phenomenon. It also explores the gaps in the literature and offers leads for what could be
taken in account in what concerns future research.
The review is structured in multiple parts: the first part – the rise of online dating –
explores the studies on demographics and explanations regarding the mass acceptance
of online dating and seeks to describe a world in which such dating strategies are not only
1
Faculty of Sociology and Social Work, University of Bucharest, Romania, [email protected]
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Journal of Comparative Research in Anthropology and Sociology, Volume 10, Number 1, Summer 2019
optional, but needed; the second part – the online dating culture – describes how online
dating can be viewed as responsible in the creation and modification of the traditional
dating techniques, offering a culture of its own; the third part – typologies and behaviours
in the online dating setting – investigates previous research on behaviour in the online
dating environment and seeks to establish typologies of daters; the fourth part –
relationships in the digital era – explores concepts that depict modern relationships in
terms of negative consequences of globalization and digitalization; and finally, the fifth
part – mass-media and the presentation of online dating – points to the explanations given
by the media in relation to online dating and strengthens the idea that such knowledge is
useful for the internet users that try to make sense of the changes occurring in their love
lives.
Of the most visible elements that reorganize the modern world, the technological
development remains of great importance when analyzing change in social structures
and institutions. The rise of the new information and communication technologies (ICTs)
have reshaped the public and the private spheres (Barraket and Henry-Waring, 2008),
deconstructing and reconstructing the traditional into modern. As Castells (2011)
observes, an individualized use of electronics and technologies seems to be one of the
main characteristics of humans in the digital era. As a consequence, ICTs have increasingly
started to support and ease the creation and maintenance of interpersonal relationships
(Barraket and Henry-Waring, 2008), through social media and online communities.
Among the technologies aimed at forming interpersonal connections, online
dating websites and applications apply the function of matching individuals with the
purpose of creating romantic relationships.
The key services online dating applications and websites are known to offer are
access, communication and matching (Finkel, Eastwick, Karney, Reis, & Sprecher, 2012).
Online dating offers access to a multitude of potential partners, the possibility to
communicate and to exchange technologically enhanced messages, and a helping tool,
the matching algorithm, producers seeking to promote an image of individuals more
compatible from the start (Finkel et al., 2012).
Brym, Lenton, Hindson, Kaljuste, Smith and Curtis (2001) have conducted a study
regarding online dating in Canada and researched the main motives that aid the fast
growth of online dating. Their findings expose the existence of an unprecedented
population of singles, which is the main target population when it comes to dating
businesses. Also, a primed focus in building a career in early youth is another cause that
accelerates online dating acceptance, claiming the need of efficient, handy dating
strategies and digitally enhanced alternatives. Furthermore, the study includes work
mobility as a cause, nowadays individuals being expected to travel and frequently change
their work location or employer, and the decrease of workplace romance due to
implications that might lead to possible sexual harassment accusations (Brym et al., 2001).
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Sautter, Tippett and Morgan (2010) mention three factors that reflect upon the
high usage of online dating applications. First off, technological accessibility and the
integration of the Internet in people’s lives and households remains one of the main
factors that eases the online presence. Furthermore, people seeking romantic and sexual
partners as a result of the delay of marriage, and also the changes in perception
regarding online dating and the release of stigma linked to dating apps and websites are
two other factors to consider when it comes to explaining the online dating layout.
By researching the online dating usage in 18 countries, Hogan, Dutton, & Li (2011)
indicate that online dating complements traditional dating techniques, “a blend of offline
and online networks” (Hogan et al., 2011, p.3). Also, exposure to the world of dating
(knowing couples that met online or people that use online dating) might influence
people into having a more positive approach towards it (Hogan, Dutton and Li, 2011). It
what concerns age, the study shows that individuals over 40 years are much more likely
to use online dating to form relationships (see also Stephure, Boon, Mackinnon, &
Deveau, 2009), in contradiction to common beliefs that online dating is for the youth
(Hogan, Dutton and Li, 2011).
According to Smith and Duggan (2013), researchers at Pew Research Center, “one
in every ten American adults has used an online dating site or a mobile dating app” (Smith
and Duggan, 2013, p.2), with 66% of online dating users experiencing a date with someone
they’ve met online, and 23% achieving marriage or long-lasting commitments through
online dating. The study strengthens the fact that attitudes toward online dating are
becoming more favourable and, interestingly enough, it captures one of the effects
online dating has on the quality and longevity of a relationship as perceived by internet
users: <<32% of internet users agree with the statement that “online dating keeps people
from settling down because they always have options for people to date.”>> (Smith and
Duggan, 2013, p.3). The benefits of online dating are taken in account, which are mostly
connected to access, and also the negative experiences that individuals have
encountered online, significantly more relevant for female users. Moreover, the
researchers associate the social networking with a “world of dating and relationships”
(Smith and Duggan, 2013, p.6) in which it is highly common to do research on people one
used to date or to obtain more information about people of romantic interest.
Dating is one of those processes that came to be known as an ordinary stage in our
contemporary lives, but it wasn’t always as such. Modell (1989) associates the beginnings
of dating with the “dance craze” (Modell, 1989, p.71) happening in the 1910s and early
1920s. The multiplication of the dancing events in this period created a custom for
teenagers to seek dance partners and to establish close contact with unacquainted
individuals (Modell, 1989). Furthermore, the increased popularity of motion pictures
between 1921 and 1930 has offered further opportunities for unmarried youth to pursue
contact with their crushes (Modell, 1989). Movies played also an educative part on “the
timing and sequencing of the emotional structure of the life course” (Modell, 1989, p.74)
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Journal of Comparative Research in Anthropology and Sociology, Volume 10, Number 1, Summer 2019
by offering a selection of romantic movies that envisioned “marriage for love”, “winning
another’s love” or “illicit love” scenarios (Modell, 1989, p.74). As a result, dating has
quickly developed as an integrated part of the modern individual’s life, becoming an
institution precursory to marriage or, in our own times, possibly independent from it.
Patterns and ideal scenarios of dating and marriage differ from culture to culture.
The institution of dating involves a pattern which is ambiguous and unstable due to major
influences from the cultural productions and different assessments based on individual
experiences on the matter. Ansari (2015) talks about the confusion men and women feel
nowadays towards the dating process. The multiple correspondence channels, the timing
one should respect prior responding to or sending an initial text are parts of the dating
process that reflect highly on the success of the relationship (Ansari, 2015). In such way,
online dating settings may highly influence users’ behaviour and have an educative part in
how the dating process should evolve and in what intentions users should pursue.
Fiore (2004) observes the reciprocal and influential relationship between culture
and online dating environments with regard to the meaning of love and relationships.
From all the characteristics regarding cultural ideals of love, designers of applications
borrow only a few to make visible in their dating applications, aiding in the formation of a
new description of how relationships and love should look like (Fiore, 2004).
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online dating as an accountable influence in the changing structure of society and dating
culture as a whole.
On the idea of technological surveillance, the online dating industry has been
involved in discussions regarding the use of the data gathered across time. Christian
Rudder, former co-founder of OkCupid explains how data, “an enormous set of what
people are doing and thinking and saying” (Rudder, 2014, p.12) is highly revelatory in
understanding human nature. The documentary “Swiped: Hooking up in the digital era” is
also persistent on the idea that big companies are collecting huge amounts of data in
order to offer efficient and addictive products for large consumption. Particular is the
experiment on pigeons exemplified in the documentary, illustrative for the gamification
feature in mobile dating applications:
<<In the documentary, Tinder CSO Jonathan Badeen — a.k.a. the guy who invented
swiping — told Sales that he was partly inspired by college psychology classes, in which
he had studied the work of B.F. Skinner.
In one of Skinner’s experiments, he conditioned hungry pigeons to believe that food,
which was actually being delivered at random times, was prompted by random pecking.
So, the pigeons began pecking more often in certain ways, in the hopes of getting more
food.
“That’s the whole swiping mechanism,” Sales said. “You swipe, you might get a match,
you might not. And then you’re just like excited to play the game ... Skinner essentially
turned pigeons into gamblers.”>> (Johnson, 2018, web)
Also, the same documentary captures the idea that dating applications might have
influenced the dating culture in an unfavourable way, facilitating short, numerous and
simultaneous relationships due to the access to hundreds of possible partners given by
the dating applications and websites (Swiped: Hooking Up in the Digital Age, 2018).
The data obtained from online dating platforms can be used in an intentional
manner in accordance to the addictive part of human nature. Future research is needed in
understanding the making of the matching algorithms and purposes engaged in the
description of the dating platforms.
Various studies have searched to explain the behaviour of users in the online dating
environment. The majority of them are concentrated in understanding how self-
presentation and impression management is done (Ellison, Heino and Gibbs, 2006;
Guadagno, Okdie and Kruse, 2012; Ward, 2016), in analyzing the gendered discourse
performed in the online dating setting (Fullick, 2013), in capturing the preferences and
perceived attractiveness of users (Brand et al., 2012; Hitsch, Hortaçsu and Ariely, 2016) or
in understanding the gendered perception on age (Skopek, Schmitz and Blossfeld, 2011)
and intentional distortion of personal characteristics in achieving certain goals (Hall et al.,
2010).
Studies on user typology in online dating settings concerning characteristics and
purposes are still to be made. Johnson and Kulpa (2007) underline that online user
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Online dating has also been approached to a great extent in the mass-media and has been
integrated in the mass-culture productions initially as „another tool the writers will
employ to turn your life into a swirling miasma of entertaining chaos” (Dating Service
Disaster, TV Tropes, web), strengthening the perceived negative attitudes towards dating
that were more prevalent in the beginning (in the ‘90s), and lately, becoming a valuable
source of knowledge for most internet users that need guidance with their social lives.
In search for sensational and subjects of mass importance, journalists pick some of
the most striking titles related to online dating. Their content was observed to be either
educative or informational (The Economist, 2018a, web), adopting a positive (The
Economist, 2018b, web) or negative (Marateck, 2018, web) approach towards online
dating, containing online dating statistics (Brooks, 2018, web), expressing concerns
regarding the role dating apps might have in rising STDs (Belluz, 2017, web), or collecting
experiences of people that used such apps (The Observer, 2015).
In the digital era, many individuals use the internet to make sense of the world
around and mass-media plays an important part in the shape of knowledge they receive.
Because the situations some of us might experience nowadays are new, mass-media
helps in naming processes and connecting people that share similar happenings. For
example, Haynes (2017) wrote an article explaining and naming processes engaged in the
modern dating setting: ghosting – the act of sudden disappearance of a potential
romantic partner; slow fading – in which someone becomes less and less available for the
other; cuffing season – seasons in which people perceive relationships as more
favourable; deep-like – the art of showing your interest in an exaggerated manner;
breadcrumbing – receiving little and random attention; haunting – characteristic to a
stalking ex-lover with the help of social media. All these processes are relevant in
understanding and learning the way that dating is done in present times.
How do individuals learn about dating nowadays? Apart from the media articles,
books about dating in general and YouTube channels dedicated to education in the art of
dating offer a learning support without precedent. Their need on the market points to
confusion and also to the need of understanding the different approaches individuals
might have on the matter.
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Conclusions
The consulted studies have captured the extent to which online dating is used in present
times and have revealed the motives that stand before the popularity of such dating
strategies. While a considerable number of studies have relied on the analysis of
behaviour in the online dating setting, this paper surprises the need of a new approach in
consideration to the effects that online dating websites and applications might have on
the alteration of the dating culture.
While the sociological perspective is needed in understanding the considerable
changes brought by globalization and digitalization and knowledge making, mass-media
represents a helpful tool for internet users that seek answers.
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Maria Stoicescu is a Ph.D. Candidate at the Doctoral School of Sociology. Her research
interests are science, knowledge, and technology; gender and sexuality. In her
dissertation thesis, Maria analyzes dating practices and emotion work in online dating
settings.
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