Revolutionary Pizza Bold Pies that Will Change Your

Life...and Dinner

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BOLD PIES THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE … AND DINNER

REVOLUTIONARY PIZZA

DIMITRI SYRKIN-NIKOLAU
FOUNDER OF DIMO’S PIZZA, HOME OF CHICAGO’S MOST DISTINCTIVE PIES
The author and publisher have provided this e-book to you for your
personal use only. You may not make this e-book publicly available
in any way. Copyright infringement is against the law. If you
believe the copy of this e-book you are reading infringes on the
author’s copyright, please notify the publisher at:
http://us.macmillan.com/content.aspx?
publisher=macmillansite&id=25699.
THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE SLAVED
AWAY IN A KITCHEN PREPARING FOOD, SELFLESSLY AND
WITHOUT PRAISE, SO THAT OTHERS MAY ENJOY IT.
CONTENTS
FOREWORD

INTRODUCTION

1. THE BASICS: MAKING ’ZA MAGIC

2. PIZZATIZERS

3. DECONSTRUCTED DINER

4. COMFORT CRAVINGS

5. MAIN COURSE MEALS

6. CHICACO STAPLES

7. COMIDA CALIENTE

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

INDEX
FOREWORD
I have never won a Pulitzer, nor the National Book Award, not even
the booby prize for “Best Book About Pro Wrestling and Pot.” But it
no longer matters because I have been humbled with the greatest
literary accolade of them all—Dimo’s Pizza named a pizza after me
in honor of one of my books. In the hierarchy of great literary
huzzahs, there ain’t nothin’ better. The problem, of course, is that I
now have little left to live for.

I am from New York and know a few things about pizza. And
beginning with my first primitive salvos as a teenaged miscreant, I
have personally innovated over 14,000 variations of the toaster
oven pizza bagel. But I cannot touch the ingenuity and painterly
imagination of Dimitri, the colossal superbrain behind this book and
Dimo’s Pizza. He is like the Jasper Johns of pizza chefs. Or, if you
prefer, the Willy Wonka.

Dimitri’s vision of pizza knows no limits: from his sweet pies (Celia’s
Sweet Peach Cobbler!) to any of his deconstructed dinner pies,
because pizza really is a blank canvas upon which to write our
dreams in mashed potatoes and gravy.

Did I mention they named a pizza after me? The greatest day of my
life! Not even if the Carnegie Deli suddenly got hip and started
offering a sandwich of sardines and red onions on pumpernickel rye
as “The Edison” could I possibly be prouder. That the last guy who
had a pizza named for him was former WWE Champion CM Punk
made it that much sweeter. He sold attitude. The guys who had
sammies named after them at the Carnegie sold neuroses.

I was on the road promoting my book Dirty! Dirty! Dirty!—a history

of sex on the newsstand—when I got the call from Dimitri telling me
that the Dimo’s brain trust had “convened” (a powwow that boggles
the imagination) and decided that they were going to bestow the
honorific totem of a proprietary pizza on me and my book just as
soon as I got to Chicago, and that the Dirty Pie would most likely
involve sausage of some kind.

Pizza is the food of the people and Dimitri is their Spartacus. Pizza
knows no class or race or social status. It is enjoyed by all the
citizens of the earth, from presidents and kings to lowly stoners,
metalheads, hip-hoppers, punk rockers, Michelin-starred
restaurateurs, rule-breaking professional wrestlers and perennially
award-winning authors. But who needs literary kudos from a bunch
of eggheads when you can have a pizza with your name on it?

In the end, the Mike Edison Dirty Pie evolved from a simple sausage
fest to an orgy of Roman proportions, if the Romans had lived in
New Orleans. It was a fully realized gumbo pizza with okra, shrimp
and andouille sausage, and I am not kidding when I say that seeing
my name attached to such genius and putting the thing in my mouth
was the greatest thrill of my life—what I imagine being the first
man on the moon must have been like.

Screw the Pulitzer. Gimme gimme some pizza! God bless Dimo’s!
Gabba gabba hey!

Mike Edison
New York City

Writer and musician Mike Edison is the former publisher of High

Times magazine. His books include I Have Fun Everywhere I Go:
Savage Tales of Pot, Porn, Punk Rock, Pro Wrestling, Talking Apes, Evil
Bosses, Dirty Blues, American Heroes, and the Most Notorious
Magazines in the World and Dirty! Dirty! Dirty!: Of Playboys, Pigs, and
Penthouse Paupers—An American Tale of Sex and Wonder.
INTRODUCTION
Welcome to an alternate pizzaverse!

We’d rather you not call this a cookbook. To be honest, these

recipes are far from complex in the realm of culinary knowledge or
cooking techniques. Instead of recipes, consider these pages
inspiration for your next party, ammunition to shock your in-laws at
the annual holiday gathering, and really good excuses to keep the
utensils and plates in the cabinet.

If we’re really honest, this is more of a look into how we approach

our craft. Our mantra: pizza is the food of the people. It’s accessible.
It’s cheap. And most of all, it’s comforting. We see pizza crust as our
canvas for creating and re-creating our favorite meals in new and
unthinkable ways. And maybe we’re gluttons for groupies, but we
love the satisfaction of causing a memorable reaction.

Selling pizzas with French fries and macaroni noodles on the

regular, we’ve learned that pizza is kind of a big deal. Over the
years, we’ve come to define a few specific reactions that remind us
why we do what we do.

The first is the “Silent Admiration.” We know we’ve found a new

“crustomer” for life when we spot this reaction. It’s all in the facial
expressions. When the silent, glossy-eyed admirer gazes into the
syrup-drizzled face of Chicken n’ Waffles pizza, there’s no denying
the bond that’s just been formed.

The second we’ll affectionately call “Earmuffs.” It’s interesting how

pizza with bacon and ranch can somehow bring out the beast in
people. All in a flash, we not only just heard words we certainly
hadn’t planned to hear uttered in public, but these words (we’d
classify them as N-17 rated adult words) were also in fact describing
the very pizza we just made.

The third is the “Oh-No-You-Didn’t” reaction. We always do our best

to make every crustomer happy and informed about what they are
eating. But in the case of the “Oh-No-You-Didn’t” it seems that with
each ingredient we list off, the crustomer gets equally more upset
and enticed. This reaction is accompanied by an abundance of knee-
slapping, gasping, clapping and usually ends with a, “Can I hug the
cook?”

So what’s the point here? Making ridiculously crazy pizza is both

delicious and entertaining when shared with others. You never
know what reactions you’ll get when you turn, say, a Reuben
sandwich into a pizza (in that case, it was very close to a teary-eyed
gasp from a large bearded man).

Onto a slightly less pizza and slightly more business note:

We wouldn’t feel right making this book and not sharing a little bit
about our business philosophy with you though in truth, that’s
probably another book in and of itself. If this is your first time
meeting us, (nice to meet you!) we’re a pizza-by-the-slice restaurant
from the Windy City with offbeat and unconventional flavors. We’re
sure you’ve probably already surmised that much from the title of
the book, but you may not have known that we’re also in the field
of building unconventional or nontraditional business practices.

Who exactly is the “we” that we’re talking about? Well obviously
there isn’t a collective group of Dimo’s employees sharing a
keyboard to write this book. But much like the social nature of
pizza, our company functions in many ways through collaboration.
In each of our employees, we scout out brainstormers and adventure
seekers with a passion for learning and a desire to take a stake in
our business.
In fact, many of the recipes in this book can be accredited to our
employees in one way or another. They’ve done everything from
generating new ideas and testing pizzas, to selling, promoting and
gathering feedback from our crustomers. That’s because we believe
a job at Dimo’s should provide more than just a place to clock in
and out; it’s a place to develop skills and pursue passions. And
truthfully, pizza can only be as relevant, innovative and radical as
the people who help create it.

Crafting new pizza concepts is a job that will never tire us. There
will always be a new idea to develop, an old recipe to make better
and a new person to work with. That’s where you come in. When
we were offered the opportunity to make a cookbook, we knew it
had to be more than just slapping some of our favorite recipes
together. This was our chance to share our approach and pizza
philosophy with a much bigger audience.

We hope that once you’ve cooked your way through some of these
recipes you’ll start to understand what it takes to make a great
pizza. Then, the real magic can happen. You can start to build your
own recipes, alter and tweak the pizzas provided here to suit your
tastes and become the master of your own pizzaverse. That’s our
true goal. And please, don’t forget to spread the word and share a
slice or two with those around you. One last thing! Remember:
unless otherwise noted, each recipe yields one 12 inch/30.5 cm
pizza.

So, without further ado, welcome to the team! You’re now officially
ready to roll up your sleeves and start the dough tossing.
 1
THE BASICS: MAKING ’ZA MAGIC

Please be advised: if you’re a novice in the craft of pizza making,

this chapter will be your new best friend. You can’t make a proper
’za without the right ratio of dough, sauce and toppings. In the
following pages, we’ll attempt to re-create our own recipe for this
magic ratio—including how to make your own hand-tossed dough.
That’s right: you’re about to become one part ace baker, one part
master chef and one part artistic virtuoso.

We’ll go ahead and tell you right now, it’s not going to be easy. But
we’ve always believed that perseverance in the kitchen yields
delicious payoffs. It’s like all forms of art: the more you practice, the
more you refine, the better you’ll do. Give yourself a few chances.
When you make dough, go ahead and make a double batch so you
have extra to work with. Hell, make a triple batch if you need to.
Just don’t stop until you get it right. You got this! And on top of the
personal accomplishment you’ll feel, you’ll likely become pretty
popular when you share your handiwork. What you need to know is
that you should read through the entirety of this section before
beginning. Yeah, we know you probably won’t. But if you do, we
promise it’ll turn out better!
THE DOUGH
No matter how crazy the toppings, a winning pizza always starts
with quality dough. In our kitchen that means dough that becomes a
light, crisp, foldable crust. It has just a hint of sweetness, with
versatility to pair with our inventory of offbeat flavors. It’s also
important for our recipe that you use high-gluten flour and cold
water. The high-gluten flour will ensure the proper texture and the
cold water will help control the dough’s rising process. But all of the
recipes in this book will work with just about any type of dough,
keeping in mind that cook times will vary from what we have. This
recipe makes about two 12 inch/30.5 cm dough balls.

1 cup and 1 tbsp/252 mL of cold water

2 tsp/10 g salt
2 tbsp/25 g sugar
1 tbsp/15 mL extra virgin olive oil
2 tsp/6 g dry yeast or 1 tsp active wet baker’s yeast
3½ cups/420 g high-gluten flour
Cornmeal and flour for rolling the dough

In a mixer combine water, salt, sugar and oil. Whisk together by

hand. Add in yeast and quickly whisk, then immediately add the
flour. Mix at medium speed using a dough hook for about 10
minutes until dough ball forms.

The best consistency for fully mixed dough is such that it’s sticky,
but not so sticky that it will leave residue on everything it touches.
If the dough is a little on the sticky side, sprinkle a little flour on top
of the dough and mix it manually with your hands. Cut the dough
into two equal-sized balls.