A Self-help Guide to Controlling

Premature Ejaculation

A Self-help Guide to Controlling

Premature Ejaculation
Introduction
This Guide will give you some information about Premature Ejaculation (PE) and try to explode some myths, but is largely devoted to practical steps you can take, by yourself and/or with a partner, to regaining control over PE. These are: ? Masturbation exercises. ? Intercourse techniques. ? and muscular exercises. Breathing ? Useful products. ? techniques the world of Tantra. Advanced Good luck. It should be an exiting journey.

What is Premature Ejaculation?

At its broadest, PE could be defined as ejaculation occurring before one or both partners satisfaction. In practice, ANY of the following can apply: ? Ejaculation immediately upon insertion into the vagina. ? Ejaculation 20 to 30 minutes after insertion into the vagina. ? Ejaculation before insertion is even attempted (eg, at the very start of foreplay).

What is Normal?
Firstly, PE is NOT abnormal. It is a very common cause of frustration for men AND their partners. From our experience, we can make the following statements: ? will have suffered from PE at some stage. Most men ? On average most men ejaculate within the first 2 to 5 minutes of insertion into the vagina. ? Only about 10% of men normally last for over 10 minutes. ? cases men will last longer if they have sex a second time a little while later, but this In most can take anything from a few minutes to several hours to get another erection.

What causes PE?

Some or all of the following within the male can cause or contribute to PE:
? Underlying anxiety or worry regarding sexual performance, whether he is actually aware of

that anxiety or not.

? Anticipation of another episode of PE (ie, an initial physical situation becoming a

psychological problem). ? The build-up of excitement in a mans mind prior to sex (so that when intercourse occurs he is literally overcome). ? The build-up of physical tension prior to intercourse. ? The nerve supply to the penis being set too high, resulting in super-sensitivity (see masturbation exercises ? below). ? The mans masturbation technique conditions him to ejaculate quickly (see exercises below).

A Self-help Guide to Controlling Premature Ejaculation

?total focus on the expectation that orgasm is the only goal or result of love making Having

(see Tantric section below). ? The possibility (according to some philosophies see Tantric section below) that overejacualtion during a mans lifetime can weaken their prostate and life energy. We can also approach the matter from another perspective. It is quite common for men to find they have PE with one woman, and then no problem with a different partner. This can have a lot to do with the woman and her attitude towards sex and the resulting conditions of her vagina. This will be expanded upon in the tantric section below, but if she has a tendency to seek her orgasm quickly, her vagina can tend to be tight and demanding, making it more difficult for a man to delay his ejaculation. If, however, she is relaxed and not seeking quick orgasm, her vagina will be calm and inviting, making it easier for a man to prolong his lovemaking.

Lets get Rid of some False Beliefs

Women do not necessarily orgasm by prolonged thrusting
In most porn movies, the male pounds away for hours on end, giving the women multiple orgasms. This is rather misleading. In reality 75% of women only achieve orgasm by stimulating the clitoris. Many women find prolonged thrusting uncomfortable. The vagina has about the same sensitivity as the testicles. Just imagine how difficult it would be to reach an orgasm by just stimulating your testicles.

What is nice for one woman may be quite rough for another
The best advice is talk to your partner. Ask her how she would like to have her vagina penetrated or clitoris touched. Let her guide your finger and move it against her clitoris. Just ask her things like faster, slower, gentler or firmer. Remember, communicating is vital at this stage. Do not focus on satisfying your partner so much that you forget to enjoy sex for yourself The exercises set out below are best carried out when you are both enjoying the experience. In many cases men worry so much about pleasuring their partner during sex that the anxiety itself makes them ejaculate early. Try using your finger, tongue, or vibrator on her clitoris to bring her to orgasm before you attempt the exercises or to penetrate with the penis. If you do this, the pressure to perform will be far less; you will not be so anxious or feel guilty if you finish too quickly.

Overview of Exercises and Techniques

The aim of the following techniques is to reduce super-sensitivity of the penis, so that the penis can be in contact with the vagina for around an hour. Practicing the techniques below should help reduce anxiety and improve communication with your partner. If you do NOT have a partner to practice them with, the masturbation techniques work perfectly OK without a partner.

Masturbation Exercises
Introduction
Most men prolong the problem of premature ejaculation by the way they masturbate. 97% of men masturbate, and in many cases the method they use defines how they perform sexually. This is not surprising, as men with PE tend to masturbate quickly, playing with their penis for a short time before ejaculating. Over a period of time this will condition you to ejaculate quickly in any sexual situation. Hence, a good way to attack your PE is to alter the masturbation technique.

A Self-help Guide to Controlling Premature Ejaculation

Remember the following:

? each exercise until you have achieved an erection for the time suggested. Practice ?be confident that you have mastered an exercise before moving onto the next. Always ? Never skip an exercise. ? the exercises when the setting is right (eg, no distractions, turn off mobile phones, Only do

etc).
?your partner if you have one. Involve ? - always try to relax and enjoy these exercises, because if you are anxious it will take ENJOY

longer to get the required result.

Without partner - Stage One

If you follow the steps below and do the exercises 2-3 times per week you will condition yourself to last longer. It is important you do these exercises in a comfortable and private location without the need to rush. Empty your bladder first. The point of this exercise is to maintain an erection for around 10-15 minutes. STEP 1: STEP 2: STEP 3: STEP 4: STEP 5: Start by masturbating much slower than usual. Focus on the sensations in your penis. Keep masturbating at this slow rate until ejaculation is near. When ejaculation is near, completely STOP masturbating for at least 20 seconds and let the excitement level fall away your erection may go down slightly at this point. When the excitement level has dropped, start masturbating again very slowly. When you are close to ejaculating again completely STOP masturbating again for 20 seconds or so and let the excitement die down. Start masturbating slowly again. Keep stopping and starting without ejaculating, as above. This takes a bit of practice and there may be times when you stop but will still ejaculate early dont worry. You must do the exercises 2 to 3 times per week, and keep doing stage one until you can hold an erection for 15 minutes or longer.

Without partner - Stage Two

After practicing the above exercises and you can hold an erection for 15 minutes or longer, move to stage two. This time when ejaculation is near you dont have to totally stop, just slow down your hand movements for 20 seconds. Let the excitement level die down and then begin to speed up once more. What you are trying to do is continually masturbate without stopping. Slow down every time the urge to ejaculate is near. Keep doing stage two until you can hold an erection for 15 minutes or longer without ejaculating. This might take you 2 to 6 weeks of regular practice to achieve.

Without partner - Stage Three

Once you get to this stage, try masturbating with SYLK lubricant, massage oil, baby oil, Vaseline or KY jelly to really test your self-control. Once you master maintaining an erection at this stage you will have retrained your ejaculation reflex and should be able to last much longer during sex. At this point, whenever you have had enough of the exercise you can bring yourself to climax.

Masturbation With a Partner

Without partner - stage three method (above) can also be done with a partner. You lie down on the bed and let your partner massage your penis in the same way as explained above. Let her know when to stop well before you ejaculate, and when the excitement level drops, tell her to start again slowly. When you reach stage two she will not have to stop masturbating you, simply ask her to slow down when ejaculation is near.

A Self-help Guide to Controlling Premature Ejaculation

Intercourse Techniques
Introduction
The purpose of these exercises is to have penile contact with the vagina for up to 60 minutes. As with the masturbation exercises you may have to retrain your pattern of sexual intercourse to better gain control over the ejaculation. Your partner must read these pages. This will make these exercises more enjoyable and provide a much better chance of success. It is important that a man does not become too over-heated prior to intercourse, and the same applies to the female. If her vagina is hot and wet from over-stimulation of her clitoris and foreplay, it will be more difficult to delay ejaculation. It is also important that both of you are relaxed prior and during sex. Take time; there is no rush. It may sound odd, but it pays to make a date to make love so you both know it is certain, thus avoiding the unnecessary anxiety if it will occur or not. It is best not to be involved in a drawn-out seduction that can stimulate a man so much that PE is the inevitable consequence. Again, remember the following: ? Each exercise should be practiced 6 to 10 times. ?be confident that you have mastered an exercise before moving onto the next. Always ? Never skip an exercise. ? the exercises when the setting is right (eg, no distractions, turn off mobile phones, Only do etc). ? Empty your bladder first. ?your partner if you have one. Involve ?communicate with your partner. Always ? - always try to relax and enjoy these exercises, because if you are anxious it will take ENJOY longer to get the required result.

1st Exercise - Woman on top; move her up and down

Lie on your back with your partner on top. She should be facing you with her knees on either side of your thighs. She inserts the penis into her vagina by very slowly by lowering herself onto your erection. She should still be in the same position as you started. Stay in this position for around 60 seconds without moving. All you should be doing is focusing on the sensation. When you feel you have control, place your hands on her hips and gently move her up and down. Do this very slowly until you are close to ejaculating then completely STOP. Let her know you are close to ejaculating so she also knows when to stop. Stay in this position with your penis inside her vagina until the excitement level dies down. Then once again start guiding her movements very slowly up and down. When your excitement levels draws close to ejaculation completely STOP. You can see that this method is similar to the stage one masturbation exercises, in that every time the excitement levels draw close to ejaculation you completely STOP. Start again when the excitement levels have receded. Do this exercise, stopping and starting, for as long as possible before you ejaculate. Once you have mastered the 1st exercise about 12 times, you can move onto the second.

2nd Exercise - Woman on top; you thrust

This exercise is basically the same as exercise one, but you now actively thrust your penis in and out of the vagina. Insert the penis and keep still for around 30 seconds. Start off slowly thrusting while concentrating on the sensations, and gradually speed up until the excitement level rises then completely STOP. When the excitement level dies down after 20 seconds, slowly start thrusting again. Repeat this exercise for 6 to 12 times before moving on to the third exercise.

A Self-help Guide to Controlling Premature Ejaculation

3rd Exercise - Man on top; some thrusting

Again this exercise is the similar to the second exercise, except this time you will be lying on top of your partner. In most cases it will be more difficult to maintain control in this position, as there is more stimulation. Insert the penis and keep still for around 30 seconds, concentrating on the sensations. Begin thrusting slowly to start with then speed up. Once the excitement level is high, completely STOP for 20 seconds before starting again slowly. Continue stopping and starting.

4th Exercise - Man on top; continuous thrusting

As the title suggests, during this exercise you only slow down your thrusting, not stop altogether. Begin by lying down with your penis inside the vagina and keep still for 30 seconds. Start off slowly thrusting and increase speed until you are near to climax. This time instead of stopping, simply slow right down until the excitement level drops. When you again feel in control, speed up then slow down again once you are close to climax. In this manner you can speed up and slow down at will. Now you can control your ejaculation by the strength and speed of thrusting. If you keep practicing in this manner you will hardly need to slow down at all.

Breathing and Muscular Exercises

Introduction
These exercises are the foundation of some of the advanced techniques set out below, but are very beneficial for their own sake. They can strengthen your prostate and improve your energy levels. Once you have practiced these exercises and gained some mastery of them, these exercises can be used in (and in fact form an integral part of) the sexual techniques which are set out in the tantric masturbation and intercourse sections below. If you feel sick or psychologically strange after doing these exercises, dont do them. If you have a psychiatric illness such as bipolar affective disorder ( manic depression ) or schizophrenia, it is also advised you do not do these exercises.

Breathing Exercises
The first exercise is learning to belly-breathe correctly. This is best done sitting in a straightbacked chair with your feet touching the ground. First breathe in through the nose and feel your lower abdomen expand as you breathe in. Then breathe out through the nose and pull your lower abdomen in allowing your body to become completely relaxed. Do this 20 to 40 times daily. This exercise will give you the ability to control your breathing in the heat of passionate lovemaking to help prevent ejaculation. As you will see in the advanced techniques below, it is ultimately possible to train oneself (or be trained in) the art of non-ejaculatory orgasm, ie, to achieve multiple orgasms without ejaculation and extend your orgasm through your whole body.

Pelvic Floor Strengthening Exercises

The next exercises are designed to strengthen the sex muscles known as pubococcygeus (PC) which are responsible for controlling the flow of urine when urinating, and for the rythmic contractions at orgasm in the pelvis and anus. You can feel this PC muscle contract when stopping the urine flow, or pushing out the last few drops, and contracting it can also make your erect penis twang upward.

A Self-help Guide to Controlling Premature Ejaculation

1st PC Exercise - Stopping the Flow of Urine Firstly, inhale deeply (breathing in) and then exhale (breathing out) while squeezing out the urine, then contract your PC muscle and inhale at same time, stopping the urine flow. Then exhale and start urinating again. Do this sequence about 5 times until the urine is finished. This is also a very good exercise for men with prostate and urine-flow problems. If you have difficulty, it is probably because your PC muscle is weak and you should just persevere until it improves. Note: Before lovemaking or masturbating you should always empty your bladder, as a full bladder can be more likely to lead to premature ejaculation. 2nd PC Exercise - Pull-ups Firstly, breathe in and focus your awareness on the prostate, perineum (the area between anus and scrotum) and anus. Relax and breath out . As you breathe in, contract the PC muscle as hard as possible, then release the contraction again when you breathe out. Keep the rest of the body relaxed. Repeat this 10 to 40 times depending on circumstances and try and do this at least 5 times each day. This can be done in your car at traffic lights, in the office at work, movies or watching TV or in bed. It is also good to do this when lifting heavy objects.

Useful products
Eg, numbing gels, etc

Advanced Techniques - The Tantric Journey

Introduction
We have all been conditioned to associate ejaculation and orgasm as the main point of having sex. For most men and woman it would be considered unusual to have sex without ejaculation. The female partner has to seek her sexual satisfaction from clitoral stimulation and resulting orgasm, which as we will propose below, is only a very small part of her potential sexual experience. Most men are unaware that it is possible to enter into a state of prolonged orgasmic ecstasy without ejaculation. In Tantric and Taoist philosophies, these issues are all a factor of ones sexual energy. Tantric and Taoist philosophies maintain that our sexual energy is the most powerful energy found in the body and when used properly can transform a person, heal disease and obviously, enable fantastic orgasms and sex. It is also part of Tantric and Taoist philosophy that over-ejaculation depletes a man of his vital sexual energy and in the long run causes various physical consequences. According to this theory, a rule of thumb is that a man may safely ejaculate 0.2 times their age (eg, for a 40 year old, 1 ejaculation every 8 days will not deplete sexual energy). The ultimate way of avoiding this depletion issue is by training to attain the non-ejaculatory orgasm. These are often called valley orgasms or body orgasms and feel quite different to normal ejaculatory orgasms. From a Tantric or Taoist viewpoint, it may be advisable for many men to stop ejaculation (frequently from masturbation) for a period of time and attempt to start making love in the fashion we describe below - where the focus is on being present in the now and forgetting about orgasm. When there is no expectation to the result of lovemaking, you will enter a realm where time has no meaning and lovemaking can be prolonged for hours, melting a great deal of our anxieties and fears from our past and present. As the heading suggests, these are advanced techniques, and for a man at the early stages of overcoming their premature ejaculation, the step-by-step masturbation and intercourse techniques set out above are an excellent place to start - the issue of energy depletion should only be seen in the context of the Tantric and Taoist philosophies discussed here, which you can choose if you wish to advance further into your sexual journey.

A Self-help Guide to Controlling Premature Ejaculation

When first trying out the techniques below, dont be disappointed if you dont succeed immediately. With perseverance, your PE will be a thing of the past. The discussion below is fairly brief, and the best advice is to receive full instruction or treatment at your local Tantric or Taoist centre.

Breathing and Muscular Exercises

The breathing and PC muscle exercises described earlier form an integral part of all the techniques set out below. The exercises are valuable in themselves, but in Tantric and Taoist philosophies, these breathing and PC muscle exercises are a powerful means to accessing, strengthening and redirecting your sexual energy. We repeat that those techniques are very powerful and one has to be careful not to abuse them or continue if you feel sick or psychologically strange after doing them. If you have a psychiatric illness such as bipolar affective disorder or schizophrenia it is advised you do not do those exercises. In Tantric and Taoist philosophies, they act by raising your sexual energy which is found in an energy centre deep in your perineum (the point midway between scrotum and anus) called mooladhara chakra. The ways in which these exercises are integrated into the sexual act are set out in the tantric masturbation and intercourse sections below. From the Tantric or Taoist view, the effect of the exercises is to circulate the sexual energy up your spine to the pineal gland in your brain (midway between ears and eyes Agni Chakra), and then re-circulate it down the front of your body by connecting your tongue to the roof of your mouth. The point of this is to redirect your sexual energy away from the penis and send it up to the top of the body to be re-circulated down through the energy centres in your body (which correspond to our hormonal glands) to keep the body in balance and high in energy.

Tantric Masturbation Exercise

It is best to practice this exercise by oneself (ie, without a partner). When practicing this, you will often crest over into ejaculation. This is to be expected and enjoyed until you develop full control. Perseverance is the answer here, and with time every man can gain full control over his ejaculation. If we go back to the stepby-step masturbation technique set out earlier, the idea of stopping well before reaching the point of no return (ie, where ejaculation is inevitable) is a huge part of this technique also, but here we introduce much more focus on what is going on inside your body, both awareness of sensation and on redirecting energy. STEP 1: STEP 2: Start with some lubrication on your penis (eg, SYLK lubricant, massage oil, baby oil, Vaseline or KY jelly, etc). Masturbate in your own way, but remember to stimulate the whole penis, scrotum and perineum. Feel each touch, noticing how you become aroused and focus your awareness on the changes occurring in your body, especially your breathing and heart rate. When ejaculation is near, STOP and rest. Notice the contractions that may be occurring in your prostate and also the PC muscle at this stage. These are small orgasms that precede ejaculation and are sensed as a contraction in the prostate. Then breathe in and out and contract your PC muscle. You can also delay ejaculation by: squeezing the base of the penis hard; pulling your testicles away from your body with one hand; pushing hard on the magic point midway between the anus and base of the scrotum that will delay your ejaculation.

STEP 3:

A Self-help Guide to Controlling Premature Ejaculation

STEP 4: STEP 5:

STEP 6:

STEP 7:

The most important thing to remember is to stop well before you reach the point where ejaculation is inevitable. When the excitement level has dropped, start masturbating again. Remember to breathe deeply as practiced in the belly-breathing exercises. When you are close to ejaculating again, draw the energy up your spine, away from your genitals, by: using your mind to visualise the energy going up towards the brain to a point midway between your eyes; and pumping the energy upwards using the contraction of your PC muscle when inhaling; and contracting the anal muscles and clenching the buttocks together to help move the energy upwards; and tilting your head forward whilst your tongue is on the roof of your mouth. This will recirculate the sexual energy down the front of the body and you are on the verge of experiencing non ejaculatory orgasms. You need to learn to stay in this space close to orgasm for as long as possible , enjoying the pleasant orgasmic contractions in your penis moving through the body. Ultimately you will learn how to prolong this pleasant state of orgasmic bliss for as long as you wish and you can ejaculate at any time if you wish . With continued practice you will prefer to experience the prolonged Tantric orgasm and the enhancement of energy and enlightened thoughts that will occur rather than the tired and heavy after effects from normal ejaculation.

After a few rounds of redirecting their sexual energy as per the steps above, many men will experience a fullness or tingling in their heads. If this is too much you must place the tongue on the roof of your mouth and visualise drawing the energy back down the front of the body to the genitals, thus completing the circuit. It is very important to get the upwards movement of energy mastered, as this is the key to controlling your ejaculation. A word of caution - you must always remember to circulate the energy back down to your genitals by the above method (tongue on roof of mouth ) or too much energy can become trapped in the brain causing headaches and psychological disturbances. With a lot of practice you will learn to extend the time it takes to ejaculate and ultimately have full control over your orgasm. The next step is to put this into practice when making love to your partner.

Tantric Intercourse Techniques

After gaining some mastery over your ejaculation during the masturbation exercises above, you can move on to practicing these techniques during full intercourse. As stated above under What causes PE?, your female partner needs to understand her role in the problem of PE. She has to avoid seeking her orgasm quickly, making her man too excited prior to penetration, and whilst having intercourse she should relax her vagina and be more passive in her movements, which will all help her vagina to be less tight and demanding. Many woman know how to quickly bring a man to ejaculation, so the opposite of those moves are what a man needs to last longer. It is also a good idea to not have orgasm as your goal in love making - for both parties. Enjoy the sexual journey, learn to be in the moment and do not project forward with your mind to an end point or the next love making session, or anything else. Try to release any expectation or fear of ejaculation occurring early. Also do not put yourself under pressure by worrying about "giving her an orgasm". Orgasm may occur spontaneously for both parties when it is appropriate and it may not occur; it does not matter in this style of love making, which can become very deep and profound.

A Self-help Guide to Controlling Premature Ejaculation

STEP 1:

STEP 2:

STEP 3:

STEP 4:

STEP 5: STEP 6: STEP 7:

Preparation. It pays to make an arrangement to make love so you both know it is certain. This will avoid unnecessary anxiety if it will occur or not. It is best not to have to be involved in a drawn out seduction that can stimulate a man so much that PE is the inevitable consequence. When you are both ready for foreplay try and be as relaxed as possible, breath freely and gently touch each other in a gentle , caressing sensual way rather than sexual. Again, if her vagina is hot and wanting from over-stimulation of her clitoris and foreplay she will have a vagina in which it is very difficult for a man to delay ejaculation. You are not trying so much to excite the other person but warm them up slowly so arousal will occur naturally. Tell your partner you are ready to penetrate and make sure she is aroused and ready. Note that: It is a good idea to penetrate as soon as you are erect. You should be less super-sensitive after practicing some of the techniques earlier in this Guide, but if you are particularly sensitive you can try penetration when soft and build up slowly from there. It is best to penetrate when things are quite cool to avoid a build up of heat that could spill over and end in PE. Ease only the head of your penis into your partner as slowly as possible and maintain eye contact - this helps build love energy and keeps you focused in the now. Try to: focus on your penis, not the vagina you are inserting into; and avoid fantasising about sex, about your partners body, etc, because your heat will build up and trigger the urge to ejaculate. Using slow rotating motions, stimulate her clitoris and inner vagina with the head of your penis. This may be for a few minutes until she is ready. When she is wet with vaginal juices, push further into her slowly and start gentle shallow thrusting, with the occasional deep thrust. Try to avoid over heating yourself. While inside your partner lightly contract the PC muscle, as practiced in the masturbation exercise, and start pulling the energy up your spine to your head. If you are getting close to orgasm pull back so that only the tip of your penis is inside your partner, or if too close pull out completely. Communicate how close you are so she does not push you over into ejaculation. Continue to squeeze your anus and contract the PC muscle whilst breathing in. Use your mind to draw the energy up away from the genitals to your head. This helps to move the sexual energy throughout your whole body and will eventually lead to a whole body orgasm. Remember to relax as much as possible when lovemaking, falling back into the waves or orgasmic pleasure as they ripple through your body. Dont forget to touch the roof of your mouth with your tongue to complete the sexual circuit.

Make love for as long as you wish, often looking into each others eyes, expressing the love you have for your partner. Embrace each other and continue circulating your energy until you both are fully satisfied. This sexual experience will ultimately be like nothing you have ever experienced before and will lead both of you to higher states of awareness and consciousness.