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I f Yo u r C h i l d S t u t t e r s : A G u i d e f o r Pa r e n t s
THE
STUTTERING
FOUNDA
AT
TIO
ON
N
A Nonnpproffiit Orggaanization
®

Since 1947—Hellppinngg Those Who Stutter Revised 8th Edition

P. O . B o x 1 1 7 4 9 䡲 Memphis, TN 38111-0749
800-992-9392
w w w. S t u t t e r i n g H e l p . o r g
w w w. t a r t a m u d e z . o r g

revised eighth edition

SFA Publication No. 0011

THE
ISBN 978-0-933388-94-9 STUTTERING
FOUNDATION ®

PUBLICATION NO. 0011

 7
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Experts agree that most children who stutter benefit from taking
time to speak at a rate that promotes fluency. These guidelines
represent a number of ways that adults can help.

Reduce the pace. Speak with your child in an

1 unhurried way, pausing frequently. Wait a few
seconds after your child finishes before you begin
to speak. Your own easy relaxed speech will be
far more effective than any advice such as “slow
down” or “try it again slowly.” For some children,
it is also helpful to introduce a more relaxed pace
If you believe this book has helped or
of life for awhile.
you wish to help this worthwhile cause,
please send a donation to:
Full listening. Try to increase those times that

tips
you give your child your undivided attention and
are really listening. This does not mean dropping
everything every time she speaks.

Asking questions. Asking questions is a normal

3 part of life – but try to resist asking one after the

for other. Sometimes it is more helpful to comment

on what your child has said and wait. 10
#PY

r
.FNQIJT
5/


r
JOGP!4UVUUFSJOH)FMQPSH
talking with Turn taking. Help all members of the family take XXX4UVUUFSJOH)FMQPSH

your child 4 turns talking and listening. Children find it much

easier to talk when there are fewer interruptions. Contributions are tax deductible.

Building confidence. Use descriptive praise to

5 build confidence. An example would be “I like the

way you picked up your toys. You’re so helpful,”
instead of “That’s great.” Praise strengths unrelated
to talking as well, such as athletic skills, being
organized, independent, or careful.

Special times. Set aside a few minutes at a regular

6 time each day when you can give your undivided

attention to your child. This quiet, calm time
— no TV, iPad or phones — can be a confidence
builder for young children. As little as five minutes
a day can make a difference.

Normal rules apply. Discipline the child who

7 stutters just as you do your other children and just

as you would if he didn’t stutter.

Copyright © 2006-20

by Stuttering Foundation of

America®. All rights reserved.
800-992-9392/www.StutteringHelp.org

Compiled by Barry Guitar, Ph.D., University of Vermont

and Edward G. Conture, Ph.D., Vanderbilt University
Book0011_Inside.qxp_Book 6/21/21 8:46 AM Page 3

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if your child stutters: a guide for parents

Publication No. 0011

Seventh Edition– 2006

Revised Seventh Edition– 2008
Eighth Edition– 2010
Revised Eighth Edition– 2012
Second Printing– 2015
Third Printing– 2016
Fourth Printing– 2017
Fifth Printing– 2019
Sixth Printing– 2022

Published by
Stuttering Foundation of America
P.O. Box 11749
Memphis, Tennessee 38111-0749

ISBN 978-0-933388-94-9

Copyright © 2006, 2008, 2010, 2012, 2015, 2016, 2017,

2019, 2022 by Stuttering Foundation of America

The Stuttering Foundation of America is a nonprofit

charitable organization dedicated to the prevention and
treatment of stuttering.

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To the Parent,

This book is written for you if you are concerned about the
speech of your young child. The goal of this book is to enable
you to begin working with your child with a better understanding
of stuttering. It is important to:

1) Educate yourself about stuttering. The more you

know, the more you can help your child and the less
worried you will feel.

2) Start right away. We now know that early intervention

in preschool children is the key to keeping a minor
problem from becoming a major one. Changes you
make can make a difference.

3) Find competent help. If the problem persists, learn

how to choose a therapist who is right for your child.

This book represents the thoughts of many experts in the

field of stuttering, all of whom attach great importance to early
intervention in prevention of stuttering in the young child.
Speech disorders can be frustrating as well as demoralizing,
particularly when neglected or misunderstood. For this reason,
every effort you make toward a deeper understanding of them
will contribute significantly to your child ’s normal, healthy
development and well-being.

Jane Fraser, Hon. FRCSLT

Stuttering Foundation

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© 1952 UNITED FEATURE SYNDICATE, INC.

The Stuttering Foundation of America owes its thanks to Charles

Schulz, creator of PEANUTS cartoons, for sharing Lucy and
Linus with us. We feel that their presence has greatly enhanced
this publication.

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Other Professionals Who Contributed to This Book

Stanley Ainsworth, Ph.D., Author

Distinguished Professor Emeritus of Speech Correction, University of Georgia.

Edward G. Conture, Ph.D.

Professor Emeritus, Department of Communication Sciences and Disorders,
Vanderbilt University.

Carl Dell, Jr., Ph.D.

Professor Emeritus, Eastern Illinois University, Charleston, Illinois.

Jane Fraser, Hon. FRCSLT, Co-author

President, Stuttering Foundation.

Harold L. Luper, Ph.D.

Formerly Professor and Head, Department of Audiology and Speech Pathology,
University of Tennessee.

David Prins, Ph.D.

Professor Emeritus, Department of Speech and Hearing Sciences, University of
Washington, Seattle.

Harold B. Starbuck, Ph.D.

Formerly Professor and Chairman, Department of Speech Pathology and
Audiology, State University of New York, Geneseo, New York.

C. Woodruff Starkweather, Ph.D.

Chairman Emeritus, Speech Sciences Division, Temple University,
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Lisa A. Scott, Ph.D.

Director of Clinical Education and Research Associate, The Florida State University.

Charles Van Riper, Ph.D.

Distinguished Professor Emeritus, Western Michigan University.

Dean E. Williams, Ph.D.

Professor Emeritus, University of Iowa.

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Table of Contents

To The Parent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5

Professionals Who Contributed To This Book . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7

I. Does My Child Stutter . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11

Is It Stuttering? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
How to Decide if Your Child is Beginning to Stutter . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
Warning Signs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Multiple Repetitions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Schwa Vowel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
Prolongations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
Tremors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
Rise in Pitch and Loudness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
Struggle and Tension . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
Moment of Fear . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
Avoidance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16
Risk Factors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Family History . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Age at Onset . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Time Since Onset . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Gender . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
Other Speech and Language Factors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
Risk Factor Chart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
The Speech Evaluation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21

II What Causes Stuttering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23

The Role of Inheritance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
Muscle Coordination . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
Environmental-Emotional Stress . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
Imitation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25

III Additional Facts About Stuttering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

How Many People Stutter? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
How Does The Child Who Stutters Compare With Those Who Do Not? . . 26
Recovery From Stuttering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
Stuttering Swings Like A Pendulum . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
Some “Good” Advice Is Bad . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28

IV Six Ways to Help Your Child . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29

A Note About Speech Development In General . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
Suggestion 1: Listen with “All Ears” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
Study How You Listen and React to Your Child . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
Begin to Change the Ways You Listen and React to Your Child . . 32
Try to Understand the Feelings Behind the Words . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
Identify Situations Requiring Immediate Intense Listening . . . . . . 33
Suggestion 2: Talk With Rather Than At Your Child . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
Talk About Things That Are Important to Your Child . . . . . . . . . . . 34
Be a Good Speech Model for Your Child . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35

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Make Talking Fun . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35

Read or Tell Stories to Him . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
Help Her Express Her Feelings Verbally . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
Eliminate “Command Performances” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
Suggestion 3: Pay Attention to Body Language . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38
Seek Ways to Express Feelings Other Than by Talking . . . . . . . . 38
Analyze How Your Child Uses His Voice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38
Provide Time for Closeness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39
Suggestion 4: Make Day-to-Day Living Easier . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40
Make Meal Time Less Stressful . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40
Establish a Bed Time Routine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
Monitor Toilet Training . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
Reduce Pressure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
Monitor Overall Development . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
Consider Other Influences . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
Reduce Interruptions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
Suggestion 5: Manage Your Child’s Behavior . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
Have Appropriate Expectations for Behavior . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
Correct the Behavior, Not the Child . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45
Be Consistent With Discipline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45
Control Excitement . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
Monitor Brothers and Sisters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
Suggestion 6: Use Common Sense . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48

V. When Stuttering Seems More Severe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49

Reduce Time Pressure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
Communicative Time Pressure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
Lifestyle Time Pressure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
Accept the Disfluencies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
Study Speech Differences . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
Increase Your Tolerance for Disfluencies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
The Best Way to Improve Your Relationship
With Her is to Take the Necessary Time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
Express Acceptance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
Describe the Behavior Rather Than Label It . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55
Reduce Your Anxiety . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56
React Appropriately to Stuttering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57
Talk Openly About Stuttering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
Give Direct Advice at Times . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
Reduce Fears and Frustrations with Speech . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
Encourage Independence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
Deal with Fears in Small Steps . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
Teach Your Child to Cope with Frustration . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
A Parting Word . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61

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Part I
does my child
stutter?
Speech begins with the first cry at birth. It then develops
rapidly during the first two years as the child learns to make
meaningful sounds and words. Later, between the ages of 2 and
6, he may begin to have noticeable difficulties in speaking
smoothly and freely, especially when starting to use sentences.
All children repeat words and phrases, hesitate often, and have
occasional difficulty
with the smooth flow of
words, but some have All children repeat, hesitate, and
more trouble than
have occasional difficulty with the
others and for longer
smooth flow of words, but some
periods of time.
have more trouble than others and
If your child has for longer periods of time.
been having this type of
trouble, you may won -
der if he or she is beginning to stutter. Will it get worse or will it
go away? If you think your child is stuttering, should you do
something, and if so, what?
Our aim is to answer some of these questions.

Is It Stuttering?
Stuttering interrupts the flow of speech, but so do many other
things. All of us repeat words or syllables occasionally; no one
has speech that is perfectly smooth. We all hesitate, insert

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noises or words, get syllables mixed up, go back and revise

sentences, or try to say two words at the same time. When these
things happen, we end up confused or stuck for an instant.
The young child who is just learning to talk will naturally
stumble more often than adults and older children. The
smoothness or fluency of everyone’s speech also varies
tremendously with internal feelings and external circumstances.
These variations in fluency are more extreme in the young child.
Because children with normal disfluencies show many of the
same behaviors found in stuttering, it may be difficult for you to
distinguish them from stuttering. Moreover, these vary in
severity and frequency depending on time, circumstance, and
the feelings of the speaker.
Therefore, if you are concerned about your child’s speech, it
is probably best to let a speech-language pathologist determine
whether your child is actually stuttering. Regardless, whether he
is or not, the suggestions in this book should be helpful to you.

How to Decide if Your Child is Beginning to Stutter

Certain signs indicate a child is in the beginning stages of
stuttering. Understanding these signs will help you decide
whether a visit to a speech-language pathologist is necessary.
After reading this book, you may decide to take your child to
see a speech-language pathologist. During a speech evaluation,
some children do not display some or even any of the things that
have concerned their parents. Therefore, if you decide to see a
therapist, your knowledge of the signs of early stuttering together
with your day-to-day contact with your child make you the best
source of information. You can describe how your child talks, as

Agencies that may provide speech testing and therapy include your local school
district (contact your local elementary school for more information), a hospital clinic
(look under “Outpatient Services” or “Speech Therapy”), or a speech and hearing
clinic at a nearby university.
No matter whom you choose, be sure to ask:
•Have you / has the therapist who will see my child had a lot of experience working with
those who stutter?
•Are you / is this therapist experienced in working with children?

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well as how often and how consistently the disfluencies occur.

This information is important in helping the speech pathologist
determine whether your child is stuttering. Remember, when it
comes to your own child, you are the expert.

Warning Signs
Stuttering is more than just disruptions in the smooth flow of
words, which we refer to as disfluencies. It is also reactions to
difficulty speaking. There are a few key warning signs to look for
when trying to decide whether your child might be stuttering.
When you consider these warning signs, try to avoid becoming
too conscious of them. See them in relation to your child’s total
speech, most of which is probably quite fluent.
Also, keep in mind that many of these behaviors come and
go. They occur at times in children who are never thought of as
stutterers.

Keep in mind that many of these

1. Multiple Repetitions behaviors come and go.
All of us, particularly
children learning to talk,
repeat words and phrases. It is not uncommon for a 3 year old to
repeat one word several times.
“Is-is-is it time to go yet?”
One child, who was not a stutterer, repeated “and-and-and-and-
and...” so many times that he forgot what he wanted to say.
Fortunately, he laughed about it and so did his parents.
Sometimes, “starter” words or sounds such as a prolonged
or repeated “er” or “um” are used.
“Um, um, um, can I have one of the cookies?”
Also, parts of words, usually the first syllable, may be repeated.
“Can I have my ba-ba-ba-baby?”

Great resources are the free videos Help! My Child is Stuttering and 7 Tips for Talking with
the Child Who Stutters, which are produced by the Stuttering Foundation and available online
at www.StutteringHelp.org/Videos and at YouTube.com/stutteringfdn.

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If your child begins to frequently use these repetitions with

many words and in many situations, he or she may be having
more difficulty than normal with his speech. The use of these
repetitions may be a passing phase. It is, however, one of the
first signs a clinician looks for when deciding whether your child
may be stuttering.

2. Schwa Vowel
The schwa (or weak) vowel is used in many everyday words.
It is the “uh” sound heard in unstressed syllables such as
“around,” “concerned,” “suggest,” “wanted,” and “the boy.”
The child who is beginning to stutter often uses the schwa in
a way that distorts the word. If he says “go-go-go-goat,” we don’t
worry. But if he says
“guh-guh-guh-goat,”

we identify this as a warning sign, particularly if he repeats the

schwa sound very quickly. In words that begin with a vowel, such
as “over,” he may say
“uh-uh-uh-over,”

instead of repeating the initial sound “o.” You may have difficulty
in distinguishing these differences, but the therapist is trained to
do so.

3. Prolongations
Sometimes, instead of repeating initial sounds, your child
may prolong the first sound of a word, so that “Mommy”
becomes
“Mmmmmmmmmmmommy.”

These first three signs—repeating sounds, repeating

the schwa, and prolonging sounds—may occur
occasionally in nearly all children. If they begin to occur too
frequently in too many speaking situations and begin to
affect your child’s ability to communicate, you should be
concerned.

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4. Tremors
Occasionally you may notice that the small muscles around
your child’s mouth and jaw tremble or vibrate when she seems
to get stuck on words. The degree of tremor may be mild or
intense. These tremors are associated with difficulties in moving
forward with speech when her mouth is held in one position with
no sound coming out. The therapist will want to know how often
you have noticed these tremors and if they appear to be lasting
longer now than before.

5. Rise in Pitch and Loudness

As your child tries to get a word out, his pitch and loudness
may rise before he finishes the word. It may slide upwards or
suddenly jump to a higher level. In both cases, he is trying to
get the stuck word unstuck, but again this is a sign that he
needs help.

6. Struggle and Tension

Your child may struggle to get words out or have an unusual
amount of tension in his lips, tongue, throat or chest when she
tries to say certain words. At other times she may have only a
small amount of necessary tension on the very same words.
The degree of struggle may vary from being hardly noticeable
to very obvious in certain speaking situations, and may
disappear entirely for long periods of time. In any event,
struggle and tension indicate your child is having greater
difficulty with speaking.

7. Moment of Fear
You may see a fleeting moment of fear or frustration in your
child’s face as he approaches a word. If so, he has probably
experienced enough difficulty getting stuck to make him react
emotionally to the anticipation of trouble. He may go beyond
momentary fear and begin to cry because he can’t say a word.
If you can help your child while the fear is still a brief passing
experience, there is a good chance of preventing a vivid or
lasting fear of speaking from developing.

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8. Avoidance
Struggling to speak and being afraid to talk may lead your
child to avoid talking. She may postpone trying to say a word
until she is sure she can say it fluently. She may refuse to talk at
times, substituting or inserting words that are not really part of
the sentence. She will continue to have normal delays in
speaking as she tries to choose words or formulate sentences
but the delays may take longer. If she does not speak even when
it is clear that she knows what she wants to say, she is probably
avoiding because of her growing frustration with talking.

You may observe these last five behaviors—tremors,

rise in pitch and loudness, struggle and tension, moment of
fear, and avoidance—in your child. They occur when he or
she begins to react to interruptions in speech, and usually
mean that your child is trying to do something about the
interruptions. Again, if you observe these behaviors, you
should be concerned.

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Risk Factors
Some factors place a child at risk for stuttering. Knowing
these factors will help you try to decide whether or not your child
needs to see a speech-language pathologist.1,2,3

1. Family History
There is now strong evidence that almost half of all children
who stutter have a family member who stutters. The risk that your
child is actually stuttering instead of just having normal disfluencies
increases if that family member is still stuttering. There is less risk
if the family member outgrew stuttering as a child.

2. Age at onset
Children who begin stuttering before age 31/2 are more likely to
outgrow stuttering; if your child begins stuttering before age 3,
there is a much better chance she will outgrow it within 6 months.

3. Time since onset

Between 75% and 80% of all children who begin stuttering
will stop within 12 to 24 months without speech therapy. If your
child has been stuttering longer than 6 months, he may be less
likely to outgrow it on his own. If he has been stuttering longer
than 12 months, there is an even smaller likelihood he will
outgrow it on his own.

1
Longitudinal research studies by Drs. Ehud Yairi and Nicoline G. Ambrose and colleagues
at the University of Illinois provide excellent new information about the development of
stuttering in early childhood. Their findings are helping speech-language pathologists
determine who is most likely to outgrow stuttering versus who is most likely to develop a
lifelong stuttering problem. Research reports include:
Yairi, E. & Ambrose, N. (1992). A longitudinal study of stuttering in children:
A preliminary report. Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research, 35, 755-760.
Ambrose, N. & Yairi, E. (1999). Normative disfluency data for early childhood
stuttering. Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research, 42, 895-909.
Yairi, E. & Ambrose, N. (1999). Early childhood stuttering I: Persistence and recovery
rates. Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research, 42, 1097-1112.
2
Yairi, E. & Ambrose, N. (2005). Early Childhood Stuttering: For Clinicians by
Clinicians, ProEd, Austin, TX.
3
Yairi, E. & Seery, C. (2011). Stuttering: Foundations and Clinical Applications,
Pearson Education, Inc., www.pearsonhighered.com, Upper Saddle River, NJ.

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4. Gender
Girls are more likely than boys to outgrow stuttering. In fact,
three to four boys continue to stutter for every girl who stutters.

Why this difference? First, it appears that during early

childhood, there are innate differences between boys’ and girls’
speech and language abilities. Second, during this same
period, parents, family members, and others often react to boys
somewhat differently than girls. Therefore, it may be that more
boys stutter than girls because of basic differences in boys’
speech and language abilities and differences in their
interactions with others.

That being said, many boys who begin stuttering will outgrow
the problem. What is important for you to remember is that if your
child is stuttering right now, it doesn’t necessarily mean he or
she will stutter the rest of his or her life.

5. Other speech and language factors

A child who speaks clearly with few, if any, speech errors
would be more likely to outgrow stuttering than a child whose
speech errors make him difficult to understand. If your child
makes frequent speech errors such as substituting one sound for
another or leaving sounds out of words, or has trouble following
directions, you should be more concerned.
The most recent findings dispel previous reports that children
who begin stuttering have, as a group, lower language skills. On
the contrary, there are indications that they are well within the
norms or above. Advanced language skills appear to be even
more of a risk factor for children whose stuttering persists.1

1
Yairi, E. & Ambrose, N. (2005). Early Childhood Stuttering: For Clinicians by
Clinicians, Chapter 7, Pro-Ed, Austin, TX.

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Risk Factor Chart

Place a check next to each that is true for the child

Risk Factor Elevated Risk True for Child

Family history A parent, sibling,

of stuttering or other family
member who still stutters

Age at onset After age 31/2

Time since onset Stuttering 6–12 months

or longer

Gender Male

Other speech production Speech sound errors or

concerns trouble being understood

Language skills Advanced, delayed,

or disordered

Copyright © 2001-2022 by the Stuttering Foundation of America

These risk factors place children at higher risk for

stuttering. If your child has any of these risk factors and is
showing some or all of the warning signs mentioned
previously, you should be more concerned. You may want
to schedule a speech screening with a speech therapist
who specializes in stuttering. The therapist will decide
whether your child is stuttering, and then determine
whether to wait a bit longer or begin treatment right away.

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Sometimes the speech-language pathologist will suggest

that you listen for particular things. Try to listen objectively. This
may be difficult, but it can be learned. If you are going to observe
your child’s speech more closely over a period of time, there are
certain things you should be aware of:

• As in other areas of development, speech does not

progress evenly. You will probably notice more difficulty at
some times than at others. Some children stutter more
when tired, sick, or out of their normal daily routine.

• Pay special attention to periods of more fluent speech.

This will help you be less anxious about the occasional
difficulty. Many children are much more fluent than
disfluent, but it’s easy to pay too much attention to the
behavior that has you worried.

• Don’t try to observe her every time she opens her mouth.
Pay attention to what she is trying to tell you rather than
how she is saying it. It’s important for your child to know
you are interested and understand her when she talks.

• Try to judge the amount of difficulty he is having and

whether the speech is getting better or worse on the whole.

• Some parents find it helpful to make a daily rating on their

calendar. For example, one mother used a scale of 1 to 7
with 1 being a very fluent day, 7 being a day with lots of
stuttering. Every day, she would rate her child’s fluency
and put the rating on her calendar. Over time, she saw that
the ratings were improving and felt less worried about her
son. These ratings will also be helpful to the speech-
language pathologist.

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The Speech Evaluation

The speech evaluation is used to determine whether or not
your child needs treatment for stuttering. The speech-language
pathologist will use information from several sources to
determine whether your child is at risk for stuttering and the best
course of action to take.
First, the therapist will probably ask you to fill out a case
history. This form may cover:
• Developmental milestones;
• Medical history;
• Speech development;
• Family history of stuttering, if any;
• Information about past therapy, if any;
• Your impressions of your child and his or her speech;
• Family interaction styles and schedules;
• Other concerns you may have regarding your child’s
development.
This is usually followed by a family interview during which the
therapist will ask you about your child’s speech development,
your concerns, and family routines. The therapist may also ask
you about your child’s reactions to different situations and his
basic temperament. This is also a time for you to ask questions.
During the actual assessment, your child may be videotaped
talking to you, the therapist or other staff. The therapist may also
have asked you to bring in a video or audio sample of your child
talking at home, if possible. The therapist will use these tapes to
carefully observe your child’s speech. Other aspects of your
child’s speech, such as grammar, vocabulary, and speech
sounds, will also be examined.
In short, as much information as possible about your child
will be collected before a recommendation is made regarding
the need for treatment.

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After the assessment, the therapist will likely schedule a

follow-up appointment to discuss his or her findings and whether
speech therapy is needed, or whether it would be best to wait
and further monitor your child’s speech. Be sure to use this
important time to share your concerns and ask questions.
Finally, the therapist will provide a written report of the
evaluation and recommendations. This may be used by your
pediatrician or by your insurance company if a referral is
required for insurance reimbursement.
Within the field of speech pathology, honest opinions may
differ on when, or whether, to start therapy. As a parent, you
know your child best. If you receive “wait and see” advice from a
speech-language pathologist or a pediatrician, but are still
concerned, be persistent and follow your instincts.
Continue to pay atten tion to your child’s speech. Seek
another opinion. If your pediatrician is looking for more
information, The Child Who Stutters: To the Pediatrician, is
available free online from The Stuttering Foundation.* It is an
excellent source of information to help your doctor make the
right referral decision for your child.
Meanwhile, the advice in this book gives you excellent ways
to begin helping your child today.

*www.StutteringHelp.org and www.tartamudez.org

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Part II
what causes
stuttering?
This is a frustrating question because in spite of the many
things we know about stuttering, we cannot provide a clear-cut
answer. It seems that children stutter for many reasons which
vary from one child
to the next and that
stuttering some - Children stutter for many reasons. These
times continues reasons vary from one child to the next
when early causes and stuttering sometimes continues even
are no longer in after early causes are no longer in effect.
effect.

The Role of Inheritance

As described in Part I, stuttering seems to run in some
families. Does this mean that stuttering is inherited? Scientists
have found what seems to be a genetic base for stuttering in
about half of all children who stutter. The role of inheritance is
quite complex, however, and not as predictable as the
inheritance of eye or hair color.1

Muscle Coordination
Evidence also shows that some children have basic
problems managing the fine coordination and timing sequences
of the movements needed for fluent speech, especially during
the early years as their neuromuscular system develops.

1
Yairi, et al, 1996, Drayna 2010

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Lack of coordination in speech may cause disfluency, just as

poor coordination of large muscles may cause tripping or falling
while the child is learning to walk. Stuttering may continue as the
child learns to control speech muscles, although in some children
it may fade away. This leads us to believe that other factors must
account for the continued development of stuttering.

Environmental-Emotional Stress
Certain kinds of emotional stress—either a single very
upsetting event or a continuing pattern of stress—can disrupt
speech patterns in most of us. The young child is particularly
vulnerable because he is still learning to manage his emotions
and many things seem threatening to him. Some children are
particularly sensitive to changes in their emotions or
environment and get upset more easily. The child may begin to
fear certain speaking situations because in his mind they are
similar to others that were difficult. Not all children who undergo
similar experiences begin to stutter, however.

Some children even react negatively to normal disfluencies.

These negative reactions from the child herself or those around
her may make her feel like disfluencies are bad and she should
stop them from happening. The more she tries to stop, the worse
they become, which may lead to more negative reactions.
A vicious cycle may begin that leads to increased stress, worry,
and tension when she starts to say something.

You may have wondered if your child could be stuttering

because of an intensely frightening experience. Although this
could be the reason for some initial disruption in speech, it
usually has only a temporary effect.

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Imitation
Can stuttering be “caught” through imitation? Based on
current understanding of speech and related events, imitation is
an overly simplistic explanation for the cause of an extremely
complex problem.
Now you see why we cannot say for sure, “This is why
young children stutter,” but we do know many of the things
that make it develop into a serious problem. Some concern
your child; but others involve you.
You have not caused
your child to stutter,
but certainly there are steps Stuttering cannot be “caught”
you can take to keep it from through imitation.
developing into a more
serious problem.

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Part III
additional facts
about stuttering
How Many People Stutter?
Stutterers account for about one percent of the population,
but a higher percentage of young children go through a
temporary period of stuttering. Although one percent seems
rather small, it does mean that approximately three million
people in the United States stutter.

How Does the Child Who Stutters Compare

With Those Who Do Not?
Aside from their stuttering, most children who stutter are
quite normal. They range in intelligence just as the rest of us do.
Researchers have tried to find physical and psychological
differences between those who stutter and those who don’t. The
few differences that have been found are very subtle, are contra-
dicted by other studies, and do not appear consistently in all
those who stutter.
The young child, at least, seems to be as well adjusted as his
non-stuttering friends. You may notice that your child is
especially sensitive, gets upset or frustrated easily, or is more
active than other children but these things may or may not be
related to the way he speaks.

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Recovery from Stuttering

Many very young children stop stuttering without any
treatment or special attention at all. It has been estimated that
for every person who stutters today, there are three to four
people who have stuttered at some point in their development.
In Part I of this book, we used a chart to help you decide whether
your child might be at risk for stuttering. Here are the things we
know about recovery in young children:
• Children with a family history of stuttering are less likely to
recover.
• Sometimes recovery can take as long as three years after
stuttering is first noticed. However, most children will
recover from stuttering within one year.
• Children who begin stuttering after age 3 1/2 are less likely
to recover.
• Boys are less likely to recover than girls.
• Children with other speech/language concerns are less
likely to recover.
Other factors also influence how quickly recovery takes
place. Stress and anxiety almost always aggravate stuttering in
a young child.
For this reason, many suggestions for helping your child are
aimed at reducing these as much as possible. The hard part is
finding out your child’s source of anxiety or stress. Many
children, once they are under less stress or feel less anxiety, will
be more fluent. But if your child has been stuttering for more than
three to six months, professional help may be needed.

Stuttering Swings Like a Pendulum

We know that the frequency and severity of stuttering usually
varies with time and circumstance. Sometimes your child will
talk easily, such as when he is speaking to himself, to pets, or
while singing. The stuttering may disappear completely for
relatively long periods of time and then return in full force. This
may happen when stress and anxiety increase, but not always.
If your child’s stuttering continues to come and go like this over
a longer period of time, you should be more concerned.

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Some “Good” Advice is Bad

We also know that many of the old traditional methods of
reacting to stuttering do not help. In fact, they may make the
problem worse. Telling your child to “Talk slowly,” to “Take a deep
breath,” or to “Relax,” are some examples of useless
suggestions. Instructions to “Say it again,” may result in your
child saying it fluently but this will not make stuttering stop.
Even more harmful are loud orders such as “Stop that!”
combined with harsh looks and punishment. These methods are
based on one or more false assumptions about the nature of
stuttering: that it is simply a bad habit which your child can stop
if he really tries. Children do not stutter on purpose to be naughty
or irritating.
• Do not say “slow down,” but do learn to slow your
own speech.
• Do not finish your child’s sentences, but do allow your
child to finish his or her own thoughts.
• Do not tell your child to “relax” or “say it again.”
Such simplistic advice isn’t helpful, and may
aggravate the problem if misused.
The next chapter explains in depth how to help your child.

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Part IV
six ways to help
your child
The interaction between you and your child is unique. In this
section, we will offer you some helpful suggestions that may
slightly change the way you interact with your child. Some are
explicit instructions; others are more general and leave the details
to you. Remember that the way you do something is as important
as what you do. A simple list of “dos” and “don’ts” won’t be
effective unless it is based on what you believe. Also keep in mind
that sometimes doing nothing may be the most important thing
you can do.
Our sugges -
tions directly relate The way you do something is as
to your child’s important as what you do.
ability to speak
fluently and to
interact freely with others. If you are concerned about your child’s
speech, the following suggestions are particularly important, but
they also encourage the social development of any child.
All of the topics discussed involve direct changes in your own
behavior and attitudes. This does not imply that if your child
begins to stutter, it is your fault. We now know that parents do not
cause stuttering, but once stuttering begins, there are many
things that you can do to prevent it from becoming a lifelong

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problem. The one thing you can control and change is the most
important part of your child’s environment: you. For many very
young children, certain changes made by you and other members
of the family are the most effective way to encourage normal
fluency.

A Note About Speech Development In General

Let’s briefly review what to expect for speech development

between the ages of two and six. This period represents an
explosion of growth and development.

By the age of two, your child may be using words and short
sentences consistently. By the age of six, he will be using longer
sentences and a greater variety of words. He will also have begun
to learn how to use his voice and words to control the behavior of
others and to express his feelings. He will be using speech
extensively in his social interactions.

Many new doors are opening rapidly and speech plays a

central role in all of these. Your child needs to be understood, and
needs to be able to say what she wants, when she wants to.

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Suggestion 1: Listen with “All Ears”

It may surprise you that changing how you listen is one of the
most important things you can do to help your child. Of course you
listen to your child; it’s hard not to as he is chattering or
questioning you constantly. You may already listen selectively,
not always paying attention to everything your child says.
We can help you selectively listen in ways that do not give
your child the impression that you never listen or don’t want to
listen to him. Furthermore, you can learn to become more aware
of what is important to your child and his development.
Paying attention to listening itself as well as to your personal
listening habits will lead to better communication with your child.
There are four key steps to improve your listening. Use these
steps over several days.

Step 1. Study How You Listen and React to Your Child

For the first two or three days, concentrate from time to time on
evaluating just how you listen to him, how much, and how often.
Note the different ways you listen: from hearing only a small part
of what he is saying to giving full attention to almost every word.
• What kind of topics get your attention?
• Do you let him finish before you start talking?
• Do you hurry her when she tries to talk?
• How much of his chatter do you actually hear?
• How much does she talk and what does she talk to you
about?
• How do you react when he interrupts you?
• How often do you look at her when you are actively
listening?
Jot down some notes about how you listen. This attention to
the way in which you listen will provide the basis for the next three
steps.

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Step 2. Begin to Change the Ways You Listen and React

to Your Child
For the next day or two, try to change the balance of your
listening. You cannot listen attentively every time he opens his
mouth, nor should you, particularly if he talks a great deal; but you
may decide that more or less attention is better in different
situations. You may decide to change how much you listen in
situations in which you did not listen attentively before.
If necessary, change the way you react when he interrupts
you. Instead of ignoring him or getting upset, let him know you
heard him but it’s not his turn to talk right now, or that you are busy
but can listen later. The important thing is to learn that you can
change your listening habits.

Step 3. Try to Understand the Feelings Behind the Words

For the next few days, listen to the way your child is speaking.
How does he use his voice to tell you how he’s feeling or what he
really means? Note his inflections on words, when he pauses,
whether he repeats phrases or sentences to get your attention,
the timing of words, and the way he looks or doesn’t look at you.
• Does she talk in a whining tone with you and others?
• Does he sound fearful with some members of the family?
• Do you frequently hear an upward inflection in “Mommy”
when she wants attention?
• Does he repeat words more often with some people than
with others?
• When she talks to dolls, toys or imaginary playmates, does
she use “bossy” tones that are different from the way she
speaks to people?
• Does he frequently talk about certain topics or ask certain
questions because of fears he may have?
These guidelines should help you listen in a more
understanding way and react more appropriately to both literal
word meanings and the important feelings behind them. This is
the essence of being a good listener, a good communicator.

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As you become more aware of when to listen carefully and

when to pay less attention, you will find ways to let your child
know that your varying attention to daily duties does not mean
that you don’t love him. Deliberately interrupt your other activities
at times in order to express your love and interest. He’ll learn that
when he really needs your attention, you’re willing and able to
give it.

Step 4. Identify Situations Requiring Immediate Intense

Listening

As a final step, try to identify any signal that your child sends
indicating an immediate need for intensive listening. Vocal signals
can be a drastic change in loudness or unusual hesitations and
repetitions, and usually occur long before the noisy crying stage.
These may take a long time to recognize because these
occasions do not occur often. When they do occur, be alert to
facial expressions, postures, and movements.

Because listening is such an important part of the

communication process and because it is directly related to
emotion, improving your listening habits should have a
direct effect on your child’s fluency. Remember that listening
should be a rewarding and joyful experience—not a burden.

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Suggestion 2: Talk With Rather Than At

Your Child
How you talk and how you listen are closely related. At times,
it seems you are continuously talking to your child: you must give
information, set rules, discipline him, and otherwise manage his
behavior with your voice and words. Even though you are
constantly talking to him, in spite of yourself, you may find that you
are talking at him most of the time. Instead of having a
conversation where you each take turns sharing ideas and
feelings, you do most of the talking.
It is not surprising that some children are more sensitive to
this than others. You can help prevent an adverse reaction by
making conscious efforts to counteract the amount of talking at
with an increase in the periods of talking with, during which you
are having a conversation with your child, exchanging ideas and
feelings. Balanced in this way, talking becomes a sharing
experience that is pleasant for both of you.

Talk About Things That

Are Important to Your
Help your child by making talking an
Child
enjoyable experience.
First, listen to or tape
record yourself during
daily five-minute conversations for several days to determine how
much time you spend talking at your child then deliberately set up
more time and topics for talking with her.
Talk with her about things that do not involve her behavior.
Talking about what she has done during the day at preschool or
daycare, about her favorite toys or about a book you are reading
together are all good topics of conversation.
Let her know that you can and will listen patiently, and let her
lead the talking as much as possible but never force it if she’s
having difficulty. Contribute to the conversation by commenting
on the things your child is talking about; she will enjoy your
attention and learn that talking can be fun.

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Be a Good Speech Model for Your Child.

We assume that you are trying to provide examples of good
speech for your child, that you speak clearly and use appropriate
words for objects and events. We hope you use sentences and
vocabulary appropriate for his age. Do you usually talk rapidly
and fluently? If so, your child may be attempting to imitate you
although he does not yet have the skills to do so, and thus
naturally stumbles and hesitates.
If you think this is the case, make an effort to talk more slowly.
Pause more often. If your sentences tend to be long, complex, or
rambling, your child will probably have trouble understanding you
and not know how to respond. This may lead to disfluencies when
he replies. Try simpler and shorter sentences, at least part of the
time.
Do you tend to interrupt him or cut off the ends of his
sentences because you know what he is going to say? This adds
unnecessary time pressure. Give him time: you can learn to act
and speak with more patience. Tell him that Mom and Dad have
time to listen.

Make Talking Fun.

You have already begun to make talking fun for your child
when you listen in the way we have described, but you can do
more. Singing while holding or rocking her is pleasant for both of
you. Talk with her more about what you are doing while you are
doing it, such as making dinner or folding laundry.
The more verbal fun you can have in the family, the more
quickly your child will learn that speaking can be a pleasure. This
should help offset the many times that speech must be used to
scold, reprimand, or punish.
At certain times, be sure that the family pays attention to what
he is saying. After all, brothers and sisters also need to learn to let
others talk instead of always seizing attention. If your child begins
to monopolize the conversation, she too may need to learn to let
others speak. The important point is to avoid too many frustrating
experiences.

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Read or Tell Stories to Him.

Reading aloud and story telling also emphasize the
pleasurable side of talking. They are important enough for some
special attention.
Try to make a habit of reading aloud to your child on a regular
basis, even if it’s only for a few minutes each day. When you have
read the same favorite stories many times, let him finish some of
the sentences or tell the story to you in his own words, but only if
he wants to.
If you feel you do not have a knack for making up stories,
begin with favorite pictures, preferably those with a story behind
them. Tell him about events from your own life when you were
little or when he was smaller. All children love this.
Try to find an opportunity every day for “reading” pictures,
reading books, or telling stories at a time when there are few or
no interruptions. You can tell a silly story about something your
child did when he was “little” while you’re riding together in the car,
or read a story to him while he’s in the tub or while you’re waiting
for dinner to finish cooking. If you find yourself competing with the
television, have a fixed time to turn it off. Even turning the TV off
ten minutes a day to make time for reading or story telling can
make a big difference.

Help Her Express Her Feelings Verbally.

How often do you tell and show your child that you love or like
her? It will be difficult for her to learn to express these very
important feelings if you do not set the example.

What do you laugh at? If you tend to laugh at things that hurt
others, you are teaching her to do the same. She needs to learn
that there are several kinds of laughter, so talk with her about
what made you laugh. Laugh at funny things, not hurtful things.

The next time she is angry, take the necessary time to listen
to her. Talk about what it was that made her angry. There may be
many reasons she’s upset: being frustrated, demanding her own
way, hurt feelings, or perhaps an imitation of your own displays of
anger or fatigue.

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Talk with her about better ways to express her feelings. Show
her that she can get what she really wants without displays of
temper, and teach her how to use words in a polite way. When she
has found better ways of expressing her feelings, the conflicts
causing some of her disfluencies will be reduced.

Eliminate “Command Performances.”

Your efforts to force your child to talk can disrupt his fluency.
You may want him to tell you what has happened in a situation or
merely to tell Aunt Martha something interesting. It’s also natural
to demand that he say “please,” and “thank you.” Sometimes
these “command performances” can produce disfluency because
you are putting a great deal of pressure on him without realizing it.
This extra pressure can be avoided by letting him proceed at
his own rate. Instead of demanding that he say “please” and
“thank you,” make sure you model it by saying something like,
“When someone gives us something, we say ‘thank you,’ ” or, “It’s
nice manners to say ‘please.’ ” As for talking about situations or
telling Aunt Martha something interesting, is it really so important
that she tell Aunt Martha at all?

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Suggestion 3: Pay Attention to Body Language

Words are not the only way we communicate with others.
A fundamental sense of well-being, or lack of it, is often
communicated without words.
Most people think of communication as talking—words
expressing thoughts or ideas. But it is far more. Perhaps you
already know this but tend to forget its importance as your child
grows older. Even before your child began to talk, he jabbered in
a pattern that sounded like speech but with no understandable
words. Nevertheless, he was communicating with you. If you
responded to this, you both undoubtedly felt deep satisfaction.
As your child grows older, he continues to use first nonsense
then recognizable words for this same emotional communication.
Adults do the same; real words actually become non-words. We
say “G’morning” without any thought to the meaning of each
word. This is our way of reaching out to others.
If you listen carefully, you realize that your child often uses
speech to reach out and make contact: “Mommy, my eye hurts!”
“Daddy, see this big scratch on my leg?” Your specific answers to
these questions are not as important as noticing and paying
attention. Does he ask the same questions over and over? Does
he always seem to want your attention while you are particularly
busy? Asking the same questions or asking questions to which he
already knows the answer are often signs that he simply wants
your emotional attention. As you become more sensitive to the
emotions that underlie so much of this kind of speech, you can
respond in a more meaningful and appropriate way.

Seek Ways to Express Feelings Other Than by Talking.

Look at her and smile whenever you can. If she asks why you
are smiling, tell her it is because you love her. Occasionally touch
or pat her as she goes by you; the look on your face as well as
your words will express your pride in her. Help her to do difficult
things cheerfully but try not to demand verbal thanks from her.

Analyze How Your Child Uses His Voice.

Listen to his and to your own inflections, loudness, and pitch
levels when you talk with him to see what they tell you about the
emotions underlying speech. One way to do this is by turning on

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a tape recorder and letting it run until you have forgotten it is

there; then listen to parts of the tape.
What are you listening for? Perhaps you already know how
much louder you speak when you are angry with your child or
stressed in general. You may find that you speak in a higher
pitched voice, which at times becomes very harsh and grating.
You may even notice unusual pitch patterns—upward and
downward inflections—as you try to be patient but struggle to
control your irritation. At times, you may hear a condescending
tone, or talking down to your child.
Perhaps your voice patterns are not extreme, but are they
always the same when you speak to your child and usually
different when you talk to others? Do you use a similar tone in
speaking to your dog and to your child? Try to make modifications
in your own speech in a way that emphasizes positive,
constructive feelings.

Provide Time for Closeness.

You have no doubt treasured those moments when you have
felt especially close to your child and when words between you
were few—taking a walk, baking cookies, making dinner, fixing
something, activities that demand little or no speech. If these
moments occur often, even if they are brief, they will help her to
feel more secure and stuttering may decrease.
These quiet happy times often occur accidentally, but you can
create more of them. It may involve no more than sharing her play
with blocks, picking up toys with her for a few moments, or
walking together through the park.
Not everything you plan will produce the level of closeness
you want, but you can gradually build a relationship that makes
her aware of being wanted and loved without a constant flow of
words. Words of love without the nonverbal demonstration of it
are meaningless and a child soon learns this.

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Suggestion 4: Make Day-to-Day Living Easier

There is more to bringing up your child than talking with him.
Children have a variety of opportunities to grow more strong and
secure or to feel more threatened and weak. We will not try to
provide you with a comprehensive manual on all the problems of
parenthood, but certain aspects of it contain many possibilities for
promoting fluency.

Make Meal Time Less

Stressful.
Minor changes in day-to-day
If your child is a
activities can help promote fluency.
fussy eater and meal -
time is a problem for
both of you, you may want to re-examine the situation.
• Does he stutter more at mealtime?
• What conflicts occur?
• Are you talking at him?
• Are you scolding frequently?
• Are you worried that he is not getting enough of the right
foods?
• Are you too concerned about how he eats?
• Are you confusing eating and drinking with discipline?
• Are you using mealtime to discuss adult problems, such as
work or money?
If he is provided with good food, is not nagged to eat it, and
doesn’t snack just before meals, he will eventually get hungry
enough to eat what he needs. If he tends to lose his appetite at
the usual time and place for meals, try changing things around for
awhile. If you are working on manners, do it as a game while he
is eating a dish of ice cream. The rest of the time, control your
impulse to correct him. If you are using mealtime to discuss your
adult problems, this should be done at a different time because he
will be very sensitive to your own stress.

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When mealtime becomes a struggle, he will always win—

because you cannot make him eat. Don’t try; all you will do is to
make everyone miserable. You can control where and when he
eats, and that is enough.

Establish a Bed Time Routine.

You can’t make your child go to sleep either, and if you try, you
may find that she is in control of the going-to-bed process. Many
children will stall getting in to bed by using delaying tactics: asking
for a drink of water, begging you to read one more page in the
book, having you check for scary monsters under the bed after
you’ve already done so many times. We are sure you are familiar
with many of the delaying tactics your child uses.

The key to reducing struggles at bedtime lies in being

consistent. Make getting ready for bed as simple as possible.
Evening is often a good time to read to her, but this can be done
earlier rather than at the last minute. Hold her in your arms as a
way of calming her just before she goes to bed. Make rules about
how many drinks are allowed, how many pages will be read, or
how many times you will come into her room after you’ve put her
down, and stick to the rules. Be as consistent as possible.

Monitor Toilet Training.

Toilet training can be a difficult process. Since you can’t make

your child go to the toilet or control all the accidents, don’t try. If
you’re not sure when to begin toilet training, ask your doctor about
the best time to start. Some children toilet train quickly; others
take much longer.

The important thing is that you treat your child in such a way
that he is not made to feel he is a failure if he has an accident or
wets the bed. You can help him see that in spite of the mess it

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creates, accidents are OK and that learning to use the toilet is just
a part of growing up. By reducing his feelings of guilt, you make it
easier for him and for yourself in the long run.

Reduce Pressure.
Examine the daily activities in which your family is involved.
• Is there so much going on that your
child is bounced from one thing to
Reduce feelings
another simply because the rest of
of guilt
the family is so involved in them?

• If she goes to preschool, what is her schedule there?

• How can you balance it at home so that she gets necessary

rest and activity?

• Does she have periodic quiet times at school and at home,

or does she have so much time to herself that she gets over-
excited when there is someone to pay attention to her?

• Is she with adults most of the time?

• What kind of balance does she have between rest and

activity?

These questions can lead you to ways of making her

environment one that is stimulating without being too demanding.
Remember that any attitude or behavior of yours that tends to
make her feel guilty, ashamed, frustrated, inadequate, rejected,
or anxious places her under pressure that often shows up in
difficulty with the smooth flow of words. Many of these pressures
can be reduced.

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Monitor Overall Development.

Take a look at his development on the whole; physical skills

and coordination, social skills, emotional and intellectual
development. You may find that he is showing a special interest
or rapid growth in any of these areas. If so, it may mean that his
energy and attention will not be on speech skills for a time. His
speech development is temporarily put aside so that he can
concentrate on other areas.

Speech may appear to be less fluent than it was a few months

before, or all his development may hit a general plateau. If this
happens, try not to worry.

Development is not a continuous and steady process; growth

often occurs in spurts. If this kind of plateau lasts too long,
naturally you should look for reasons. You may then want to
consult professional help. But if you see that he is intensely
interested in learning to ride a tricycle, don’t worry if his speech is
set aside for awhile.

Consider Other Influences.

We have said that painful, traumatic incidents do not usually

cause stuttering, but family tragedies naturally upset any child. In
spite of your efforts to protect her, events such as illness,
emotional conflict, moving, or accidents are sure to happen. They
may be accompanied by a greater number of hesitations and
repetitions in your child’s speech.

If so, accept this as normal; don’t add to her concern by

reacting to her stuttering. If family conflicts continue, she may
have more disfluencies. To counteract this, pay special attention
to your loving relationship with her. If you take extra time and
effort at these difficult times, your child’s speech will probably
return to its usual level of fluency.

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Reduce Interruptions.
It is easy to interrupt someone who has many hesitancies in
his speech; and if your child is showing signs of stuttering, this is
to be avoided. You should not attempt to completely eliminate
interruptions, but work hard to reduce them. Be alert for times
when what he is saying is of special importance to him and try to
avoid any interruptions then.
Look for other things that make it difficult for him to be as
fluent as he can. Does he have more trouble talking and doing
something else at the same time? Encourage him to stop the
other activity when he wants to speak. If he is hurt while playing
or over-excited for some reason, don’t ask for explanations until
he has calmed down. With some effort, you will be able to find
many situations throughout the day when a little change in the
way you do things will make it easier for him to speak more
fluently.

Suggestion 5: Manage Your Child’s Behavior

Self-doubts and feelings of failure arise when you make
demands on your child to measure up to some ideal image. Are
you demanding a level of perfection that is too high? Speech
difficulties often arise during such episodes and may become
conditioned to these feelings.

Have Appropriate Expectations for Behavior.

We sometimes expect our children to do or say certain things
because it is socially correct to do so. If you expect your child to
always be at his best, you are expecting too much.
Have tolerance for his age and abilities. Learning the right
way to act or the right things to say takes time. He will learn by
your own example, and he’ll especially want to be like you if you
praise him when he does well. Don’t scold him or make him
repeat his actions or words many times, thinking this will help him
learn. After all, he is still a little child. If you are embarrassed by
such behavior on his part, your expectations are too high.

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Correct the Behavior, Not the Child.

Your child’s misbehavior can be handled in such a way that
other problems do not develop. Learning ways to manage her
feelings and actions in positive ways is important.
If you make your child feel guilty and ashamed when she
misbehaves, you are teaching her that she is bad. Instead, focus
on teaching her that her behavior was wrong. You can do this by
changing how you correct her. For example, instead of saying,
“You are so naughty to your little sister!” try saying, “Pulling your
sister’s hair is naughty!” This points out her behavior caused a
problem, rather than teaching her that she is the problem.
How do you handle her outbursts of anger? Obviously some
controls are necessary. She needs to learn to manage this
emotion effectively. If you treat it as something to be suppressed,
the speech disfluencies that often occur at this time will become
exaggerated in her mind. Any method you use to control her
should avoid making her feel that she is bad because she has the
emotion. Don’t shame her in any way. You can calmly discuss her
behavior afterward and explain there are many ways to cope with
her feelings. This will help emphasize the difference between
having a feeling and what one does with it.
Listen to your own language when you are angry with your
child. Regardless of how you handle an immediate crisis, how do
you follow up?
She needs explanations in order to know what you wanted to
teach her when you were angry. You should help her to
understand that you felt a need to release your own feelings. One
way or another, she needs an explanation. Don’t expect her to
change her behaviors at once—she needs time and
experience—but encourage improvement.

Be Consistent with Discipline.

There are some general guidelines to follow that will affect
your child’s feelings toward himself and others. Anything that
gives him a feeling of being a failure may make him hesitate in
speaking. At the same time, you need to teach him to behave
appropriately and to act in ways that are reasonably comfortable
for you and the rest of the family. The way in which you do this will
have a direct influence on his feelings about himself.

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The way you use speech to punish or reward him is also

important. Words and expressions can be as strong and as
painful as a spanking. Using words this way may make him easy
to control, but the cost is too high.
When you yell or punish him in other ways, how does he react?
Does he freeze or look as if he is terribly afraid? Or do you
completely miss his reaction because you are so angry? In either
case, you are using your emotion as a club to force him to behave.
This approach may work for a time but only at the sacrifice of his
security. Another emotional club some parents use is: “If you love
me and want me to love you, you must always do what I want you
to do.” Remember to focus on his behavior and let him know that
his behavior is unacceptable, but that you know he can change how
he behaves and you love him no matter what.
Examine all your methods of discipline: rewards and
punishments. To what degree do they represent an objective and
loving attitude on your part? Try to avoid methods that are too
emotional, too prolonged, or too cold and stern. Use your own
good judgment. You don’t want to be erratic or random about your
disciplining, nor do you want to be too rigid.

Control Excitement.
Special holidays, upcoming vacations, or starting preschool
are exciting times, but they can be too stimulating for a young
child. Parents often tell us that their child was fluent all summer
but began to have trouble just before school started.
If you notice less fluency during
these times, you should try to reduce
the intensity of the situation.
Sometimes the source of trouble is a
high peak of excitement that lasts
over too long a period of time.
Christmas Day can cause a combi-
nation of high excitement plus frus-
tration. One family handled this
problem by taking most of the day to open presents. As each child
opened a present, she would have time to play with the toy, try on
her new clothes, or have part of a new book read to her. In this
way, excitement was kept at a more pleasurable level. The

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children were not frustrated by too much too fast. The same can
be done for birthdays.
When you are worried about your child, it shows. You may
begin to treat him differently, lose patience more easily, or do
other things that are different from how you normally interact with
him. He is very sensitive to your own stress and concerns, so the
best way to help him is to make sure you take care of yourself first.
If you are worried about your child’s stuttering, getting
information about it can help you feel better. You are on your way
just by reading this book. Take action by following the suggestions
in this book. This will help you feel less worried, because you are
doing something for him rather than just thinking and worrying
about his problem.

Monitor Brothers and Sisters.

If your child has brothers or sisters, you are well aware of how
much they can help or hinder her development. They stimulate
her to talk—and then they won’t give her a chance to do it. Like
baby birds in a nest, your children all compete for your attention
in their own individual ways, and the one who speaks the quickest
and loudest often succeeds in getting it.
The child with a tendency to stutter often needs to have
controls put on the rest of the family to make sure she has a fair
opportunity to speak. If she is inclined to be more withdrawn and
hesitant than the others, she needs support from you more often.
You can encourage her to talk by saying to brothers or sisters, “I
wonder what your sister thinks about this?” then looking at her so
that she knows it’s her turn. If brothers or sisters interrupt, stop
them and let them know it’s not their turn right now and that they
can have a turn when she is finished speaking.
This does not mean that she should always be allowed to talk,
nor should you have rigid rules that the other children never
interrupt her. Be sensible. All children need to learn to take turns
in conversation. If you are overprotective of your child because of
her stuttering, she will begin to do more of whatever it is that gives
her the advantage over others. Be flexible in determining when
you need to protect her right to talk and when she needs to give
others a turn to talk themselves.

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When she has a crisis of any kind, she should get more
attention, just as each of the other children should, but the crisis
must be real and not made-up. When in doubt, give her the
attention.
Although they communicate in different ways, all of your
children should have a chance to be heard. These differences are
desirable; they give your children distinct personalities.
This attitude towards differences should carry over to those
outside the family as well. Avoid using differences in personal
characteristics to demean or downgrade anyone. If your child
sees that you don’t like people who look different or are disabled,
in effect you are telling your child that differences are bad. He will
then assume his own difference, such as difficulty in speaking, is
also bad.

Suggestion 6: Use Common Sense

We have provided some general guidelines and a few specific
suggestions for constructive ways of relating to your child. We
hope you will be reasonable, thoughtful, and consistent in what
you do, but we do not want to impose rigid patterns.
One mother was advised to establish a routine to give her son
a sense of security. She set up such a tight schedule from 7 a.m.
through 8 p.m. that every half hour had exactly the same activity
every day. Needless to say, this routine created additional
problems. A reasonable schedule and more relaxation on the part
of the mother resulted in much improved fluency.
Avoid extremes. Pay attention to the effects of whatever you
do and be ready to make adjustments in your actions and
expectations when you see the need.

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Part V
when stuttering
seems more severe
Your child may worry you because for some reason or
another, he seems to be much less fluent than you think he should
be. Whether he is stuttering or not, you can be substantially
reassured by the suggestions we have already provided.
However, it may already be apparent to you and to the speech
pathologist that your child is much more disfluent than he is
expected to be at his age. In this case you will need to pay special
attention to certain additional procedures. The suggestions that
follow are ways of encouraging better fluency and preventing the
development of severe stuttering. If you need more specifics for
your unique situation, the speech pathologist can help you.

Reduce Time Pressure

Time pressure may adversely affect anyone’s speech but
particularly that of a young child. Although time pressures come
in various forms, there are two types you should be aware of: 1)
communicative and 2) lifestyle.

Communicative Time Pressure.

One good example of communicative time pressure is when
a listener reacts — either with words or with body language — to
a child’s disfluencies by saying “slow down,” “take your time,” or
“relax.” Or when a listener reacts in just the opposite way: “hurry

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up and spit it out,” “I don’t have all day...”. Some listeners will tell
the child to “slow down” one minute and then to “speed up, I don’t
have all day” the next!

Whichever way the adult listener reacts, the child may get the
message that “I’d better try to speak as slowly (or as fast) as they
want me to.” Experience indicates that children are given these
sorts of instructions, they have trouble maintaining normally
fluent speech.

Instead of trying to tell your child

to slow down or speed up, show her …use a slower
an appropriate rate of speech. In rate of speech…
order to do this you will need to
examine and then possibly change
some of your own speaking behaviors.

If you think that she is “talking too fast,” study and listen to your
own rate of speech when talking with her. We have heard parents
tell their child to “slow down” while speaking themselves at a
breakneck speed! We encourage you to spend some time
listening to the speaking rate of slower adult talkers, a good
example of which is Fred Rogers of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.
This will give you an idea about the way you can begin to slow
down your own speech.

Try to spend five minutes each day using this slower rate of
speech with your child. Lengthening the pauses between your
words, phrases, and sentences should help you slow yourself
down. Remember, the way you speak says more to your child
than all of your verbal instructions to “slow down,” “relax,” or
“speed up.”

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Adult listeners can also add to time pressure by finishing a

child’s sentences for him, jumping in the split second he is done,
or beginning to talk before he even finishes his sentence. Wait
your child out—let him finish his sentence—and delay your own
response by a second or two.

As you begin to (1) speak more slowly in his presence (2) allow
him to complete his sentence as well as delay by a second or so
your own reply, you will be showing rather than telling your child
how to talk in a way that will promote smoother, more fluent speech.
Remember, making these changes in your speech, even for five
minutes a day, will not be easy! You will probably find yourself
having more success in slightly delaying your responses, not
finishing sentences for him, and not talking before he finishes
speaking than you will trying to slow down your own rate of speech.

Any and all changes you make towards a slower less rushed
way of speaking will be helpful to your youngster. We know that
this won’t be easy but just do the best you can.

Lifestyle Time Pressure

A good example of the second kind of time pressure, lifestyle,
is when parents set rigid, inflexible, arbitrary schedules for the
times when the child must get up, eat breakfast, lunch, and
dinner, take out the trash, go to bed, and so on. More often than
not, the parent does this in an attempt to put some order into the
chaos and confusion that often exists in a busy household.
Whatever the reason, when parents require small children to run
their lives in strict agreement with the clock on the wall, they often
find themselves defeated and frustrated. Besides, it takes so
much energy to enforce these time schedules and rules.

Another example of lifestyle time pressure is when families

are constantly going from one activity to the next with few or no
breaks in between. Not leaving enough time to get ready for
preschool or daycare in the morning so that your child has to rush
to get out the door on time can place time pressure on your child.

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Parents are encouraged to examine their own possibly time-

urgent lifestyle—everything must be done on time—and look
for small ways in which they can change. Remember this: you
have taken a lifetime to develop habits like having everything
happen exactly on the dot, doing everything yourself so it will be
done quickly, or not leaving enough time between events so that
you’re constantly rushing. You can’t expect yourself to change
such habits overnight. However, when you see the positive effect
that reducing a time urgent, time scheduled existence has on your
child and on yourself, we are sure that you will take the time to do
everything in a little less rushed way!

Accept the Disfluencies

You probably have difficulty accepting your child’s hesitant
speech because you are afraid that she will develop lifelong
stuttering. Even if you try to react unemotionally, the underlying
feelings and attitudes will show through and have an effect on
your child. To combat this, you will need to develop an
understanding of all kinds of speech disfluencies, many of which
are very common in everyday speech.

Study Speech Differences

Listen to the speech of other children and adults now and
then, particularly when they are not talking to you. Count the
disfluencies: any stoppage in the flow of words such as
repetitions, back-tracking, pauses or insertions of extraneous
noises. Become aware of how much disfluency appears in normal
speech. Notice, too, how many different types of disfluency there
are. Pauses are often used for emphasis, grammatical clarity, or
for thinking and are perfectly normal interruptions. If you listen to
your own breaks in fluency, you will find yourself becoming very
sensitive to them. You will be impressed by how often disfluencies
occur as part of everyone’s general flow of speech.
Your child probably has more of these breaks in fluency than
you do. You should note the variation and frequency of these.
There will even be times when your child will be perfectly fluent.

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This should reassure you because it shows you that he really

does know how to talk and that with continued practice he can
improve, although he cannot and will not be perfect all the time—
nor should he be. As a result, you will begin to consider
disfluencies in a different perspective.

Increase Your Tolerance for Disfluencies

The same amount of disfluency that causes one listener to
become nervous may not even be noticed by another. If you find
that your child’s disfluencies continue to disturb you, you should
try to increase your tolerance of them.
Asking yourself the following questions should lead you to a
greater acceptance.
• Why are you irritated or upset when your child takes longer
to say something than you think she should?
• Are you expecting a level of fluency she cannot meet?
• Why do you expect her to speak more fluently than she
does? Because other children her age are more fluent, or
because your other children are?
• Is it important that she develop just as they do?
• Do you take the necessary time to hear what she has
to say?

The Best Way to Improve Your Relationship With Her is to

Take the Necessary Time.
• Are you still worried that she may get worse?
• Do you feel that her hesitant speech is a sign of basic
inferiority?
• Are you worried about what will happen to her when she
goes to school?
All this may simply be adding to the trouble she is having.

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Express Acceptance
Another important way you can help your child is by accepting
his disfluencies. What does this mean? It means that you show
your child, through your actions and through your words, that
disfluencies do not change how you feel about him. How do you
show that you accept someone else’s behavior? Essentially you
say to yourself, “I notice that he is doing this but it doesn’t matter.
My feelings toward him have not changed. Most of the time I don’t
even notice.” You recognize that many skills develop at different
rates in children but you don’t react to these differences until they
become extreme. Even then you usually don’t do anything until a
problem has lasted a long time.
One mother improved her acceptance of her child’s broken
speech by reviewing how she had reacted when he was learning
to eat with a spoon. He fumbled and spilled food many times in a
process that took several months and was still not perfect when
she told us of this experience. She recalled that she had
managed not to be upset by his awkwardness; she considered it
normal and therefore was pleased when he succeeded. As the
weeks passed, the spills became fewer even though some meals
were still mild disasters. Gradually the child became quite
proficient and she could accept his occasional difficulties without
emotion. She realized that she should react to his speech
development in the same way.
We realize how difficult it may be for you to carry out these
instructions if your child is stuttering severely. It may help you to
remember that he is doing the best he can. So are you. When you
react emotionally, you make him struggle harder to stop, avoid, or
conceal his stuttering and this makes it worse. Don’t make his
problem more complex than it already is.

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Describe the Behavior Rather Than Label It

We also recognize that this distinction between normal
disfluencies and stuttering or abnormal disfluencies is not always
made by the public in general. People often say, “I stutter once in
awhile myself,” or “Everyone stutters,” when they are actually
referring to normal disfluencies.
Perhaps you or others in the family have already labeled your
child’s speech stuttering
or called him a stutterer.
In this case, you should Use descriptive terms instead
not make a desperate of a label.
and sudden effort never
to mention them for the
reasons given above. Use descriptive terms instead of a label.
Explain that he is repeating certain words, sounds, or syllables or
that he is hesitating, interrupting his speech, stopping, pausing, or
inserting extra sounds. Of course any word or expression can
take on a negative connotation if used with vocal inflections or
facial expressions that designate them as undesirable. The word
disfluency, which we have used throughout this book, is intended
to be a neutral term but could well become as negative as the
label stuttering if used in the wrong way.
If your child struggles intensely and often with his disfluencies
and shows anxiety and fear, you will need to do more than simply
accept his speech. You should continue to use as many
descriptive terms as possible when discussing stuttering with
him. If you notice tense muscles, eye blinks, reluctance to attempt
words, mouth postures with no sounds coming out or similar
behaviors, you could tell him that he struggles or works too hard.
At the same time, you should not make special efforts to conceal
the label from him if everyone else is thinking of his speech as
stuttering. Complete avoidance of the word in these
circumstances makes him more anxious, not less. It isn’t the
words which are bad but the way in which they are used.
One term should be avoided. Try not to see him as “a
stutterer.” There is a subtle but critical difference between “he is a
stutterer,” and “He stutters.” The former sets him apart as a

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separate person; the latter says he is doing something just as he

does a lot of things.

Reduce Your Anxiety

We are aware of your difficulty in listening to your child stutter and

of your natural anxiety about him. One mother who brought her child
to the speech clinic expressed how worn out and overwhelmed she
felt as her child struggled with his speech. Difficult as it may seem,
you can do something about your own anxiety.

Remember that most children who stutter do not continue to

do so after childhood. Your understanding, help, and support
when the problem is still in its early stages greatly increases the
probability that your child will achieve normal fluency.

Your ability to look at stuttering objectively and to understand

what he is doing—and we can all modify or change the way we do
things—should help you reduce your anxiety. Your efforts to
determine its severity and consistency give you something
positive to work on. Be conscious of your increasing ability to
observe his stuttering calmly and to refrain from becoming tense
or alarmed when he suddenly stutters.

Concentrate on what is happening now and not on what might

happen in years to come. Determine how much fluency he has. If
you count his words for a period of time, noting the difficulties, you
will find that an overwhelming percentage of the words are
perfectly normal—not all of them perfectly fluent, but certainly
acceptable for his age. You have ample evidence here that he
does know how to talk.

When the factors which increase or aggravate his intermittent

stuttering are reduced, he will be freer to talk without undue
interruptions. In the meantime, you and he have a problem that is
best worked out if you are not too anxious.

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React Appropriately to Stuttering

Stuttering could become so disturbing to your child and so
distracting that a total lack of reaction on your part would be
inappropriate. In this case, you should show him that you
recognize what he did without showing any hint of surprise,
criticism or pity.

Nor should you suggest that he do something about it. You

might say, “That word is really tricky, isn’t it,” or “You worked hard
on that word,” or “Some words are hard to say, aren’t they.” These
should be presented as statements of fact. Other times, just try a
smile with a look and word that says, “Sometimes words just don’t
come out easily.”

Occasionally his combinations of sounds and timing will be

funny; laugh with him and go on with the conversation. You can
even display mild sympathy for him. The vocal inflection and
timing of these reactions are vital. In the speech clinic we often
observe parents who have learned to handle this problem
beautifully. One mother changed her horror of stuttering into an
attitude of admiration for her son who managed to communicate
well in spite of a severe problem, and this attitude was reflected
in her voice.

We appreciate how difficult this is when you are worried or

feeling sorry for your child as he struggles, but try not to add to
his anxiety. You may need to work on your own feelings before
you are able to react as we have outlined. We do not mean that
you should stifle all feelings of sympathy for your child; just let
this feeling come out in an attitude of constructive love that sees
him as much more than “a stutterer.” The problem is such a small
part of what he is. It is just that – a problem which needs to be
worked out like bed-wetting or nose-picking – which need to be
managed sensibly.

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Talk Openly about Stuttering

When your child goes to a speech pathologist, he may need to
be told that because he is having trouble with words “getting stuck,”
you would like to have an expert listen to him
and try to find ways to help. He may ask ... talk
questions about his speech, such as “Why can’t openly
I talk?” “Why do I get stuck?” or even “What’s the about
matter with me?” At other times, the look on your stuttering
child’s face when he is especially distressed
may call for a positive response on your part.
You may notice that he has the idea that stuttering should be
hidden. Your bringing it out into the open should help him.

Answers to “Why do I stutter?” are the most difficult, but you

can best satisfy him with short explanations. Here is an example
of what you might tell him.

All of us get tangled up or stuck at times. Some of us do it

more than others. Little children are more likely to hesitate
because they are still learning to talk. They also stumble more
when walking and running. When they have trouble speaking,
they sometimes try too hard to stop and this makes
it worse.

By calling his attention to stumblings in your own speech

when they occur, you can help him to understand that all of us
sometimes have trouble talking. Any question about whether or
not something is the matter with him should be answered by “no,”
and followed by a fuller description of what is happening when he
stutters, such as, “you held onto that sound a little too long” or
“that was a little bumpy.” You can use these opportunities to
reassure him that it is all right for him to get stuck if he feels he
cannot speak any other way. The main idea is to be as descriptive
as possible, to keep explanations simple and to avoid sounding
mysterious or emotional.

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Give Direct Advice at Times

After asking “Why?” your child may ask “How can I stop it?”
The best suggestion is “Don’t work so hard,” or “Try to relax and
loosen up the tightness.” One parent demonstrated this idea by
squeezing his fist and gradually relaxing it while letting a sound
“leak out.” You can show your child two ways of saying a word -
the “hard” and the “easy” way to let a sound out. If he needs to
repeat words or sounds he should try to do so in a relaxed way; it
is the struggle that makes things worse. If he says he cannot talk
in any other way, give him the time he needs. Above all, do not
become irritated when he does not or cannot follow your advice.
Do not tell your child how not to stutter. Advice such as “Take
a deep breath,” or “Think of what you want to say before you
speak,” or “Slow down” will compound his problem in at least
three ways:
1. It implies that if he did something right he would not stutter;
2. It makes him feel guilty because he cannot make the advice
work; and
3. It often adds additional behaviors to his talking which distract
him and his listeners and further impede the flow of speech.
Reduce Fears and Frustrations with Speech
One of the best ways to do this is to encourage your child to
talk about her fears, anxieties, and frustrations. This means that
you must be prepared to accept how she feels without criticism or
disapproval, regardless of how irrational her feelings may seem
to you. They are not signs of weakness or inadequacy; they show
that she is human. One parent expressed his own fears, past and
present, and was able to get the idea across to his daughter that
everybody has fears—it’s OK to have fears—and that we can all
learn to reduce them.
Many of your child’s fears may not be directly related to
talking, but they can still have an overall effect on her by making
her more hesitant and withdrawn. Bringing her fears out in the
open and reassuring your child that you accept her and her fears
can greatly reduce their importance.

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Encourage Independence
Avoid increasing your child’s fears by overprotection. Don’t do
everything for him or arrange his life in such a way that he doesn’t
need to talk. If he will talk on the telephone, encourage it.
Overprotection will eventually add to his fears of talking and
stuttering.

Deal with Fears in Small Steps

There are additional ways to deal with your child’s fears.
Many parents allow their child to have a dim night-light to offset
fear of the dark. Try approaching that which causes her fear in
steps, and stop temporarily when she shows any fear. Then move
towards the source of fear when she is ready. Never force her;
take the necessary time.
One child would run from the room whenever visitors came to
the home. His mother helped him by waiting until the guests were
seated and talking, then she called the child to the door to get
something from her; the first time it was a piece of cake she was
serving. In later visits, the child was able to sit quietly in her lap for
part of the visit and to say “goodbye” when he left. The barriers
were thus gradually overcome.

Teach Your Child to Cope with Frustration

If your child encounters periods of very severe blocking and
stuttering, he will probably build up a great deal of frustration.
Many parents describe various ways of coping effectively with
this. One encouraged her son to hit an inflated Bobo the Clown as
hard as he could until he felt better. Another talked to his son in
private and allowed the child to say what he wanted without any
disapproval, only reassurance that he understood the child’s
feelings. Outdoor exercise is also helpful in reducing tension as
are any activities where expression is nonverbal.

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A Parting Word

We have outlined many things for you to do in order to ensure

your child the best chance of developing normal fluency. As you
carry out our suggestions, try to go a little further. Look for ways
to give more of yourself to your child, by spending more time, by
playing and talking with your child, and in showing interest in his
interests.

Do these things not just because your child stutters, but for
the mutual pleasure of being together. Do not seek or expect
appreciation. You are not doing a favor that deserves special
thanks, but instead just being a more warm and responsive
parent.

You may also want to ask the speech therapist for methods
appropriate to your specific situation. If you create your own, they
will probably work better than ours. Just try to keep in mind the
general principles we have described for a constructive and
positive relationship with your child.

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Notes:

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Resources for Parents

The Stuttering Foundation offers free resources
at www.StutteringHelp.org, including:
• Videos • Brochures
• Books • Research

No matter whom you choose, be sure to ask:

• Have you / has the therapist who will see my child
had a lot of experience working with those who
stutter?
• Are you / is this therapist experienced in working
with children?

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Experts agree that most children who stutter benefit from taking
time to speak at a rate that promotes fluency. These guidelines
represent a number of ways that adults can help.

Reduce the pace. Speak with your child in an

1 unhurried way, pausing frequently. Wait a few
seconds after your child finishes before you begin
to speak. Your own easy relaxed speech will be
far more effective than any advice such as “slow
down” or “try it again slowly.” For some children,
it is also helpful to introduce a more relaxed pace
If you believe this book has helped or
of life for awhile.
you wish to help this worthwhile cause,
please send a donation to:
Full listening. Try to increase those times that

tips
you give your child your undivided attention and
are really listening. This does not mean dropping
everything every time she speaks.

Asking questions. Asking questions is a normal

3 part of life – but try to resist asking one after the

for other. Sometimes it is more helpful to comment

on what your child has said and wait. 10
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talking with Turn taking. Help all members of the family take XXX4UVUUFSJOH)FMQPSH

your child 4 turns talking and listening. Children find it much

easier to talk when there are fewer interruptions. Contributions are tax deductible.

Building confidence. Use descriptive praise to

5 build confidence. An example would be “I like the

way you picked up your toys. You’re so helpful,”
instead of “That’s great.” Praise strengths unrelated
to talking as well, such as athletic skills, being
organized, independent, or careful.

Special times. Set aside a few minutes at a regular

6 time each day when you can give your undivided

attention to your child. This quiet, calm time
— no TV, iPad or phones — can be a confidence
builder for young children. As little as five minutes
a day can make a difference.

Normal rules apply. Discipline the child who

7 stutters just as you do your other children and just

as you would if he didn’t stutter.

Copyright © 2006-20

by Stuttering Foundation of

America®. All rights reserved.
800-992-9392/www.StutteringHelp.org

Compiled by Barry Guitar, Ph.D., University of Vermont

and Edward G. Conture, Ph.D., Vanderbilt University
0011cvr.qxp_cover 6/21/21 8:45 AM Page 1

I f Yo u r C h i l d S t u t t e r s : A G u i d e f o r Pa r e n t s
THE
STUTTERING
FOUNDA
AT
TIO
ON
N
A Nonnpproffiit Orggaanization
®

Since 1947—Hellppinngg Those Who Stutter Revised 8th Edition

P. O . B o x 1 1 7 4 9 䡲 Memphis, TN 38111-0749
800-992-9392
w w w. S t u t t e r i n g H e l p . o r g
w w w. t a r t a m u d e z . o r g

revised eighth edition

SFA Publication No. 0011

THE
ISBN 978-0-933388-94-9 STUTTERING
FOUNDATION ®

PUBLICATION NO. 0011