Chapter 1: Intro to Interpersonal Communication

Communication: Acting on Information

Human Communication:
-​ Making sense and meaning out of world
-​ Sharing through verbal, nonverbal messages

Relationship:
-​ a connection established when you communicate with another
person. When two individuals are in a relationship, what one person says or does
influences the other person. Usually with someone we like
-​ Often communicated with emails or text messages

Other-oriented:
-​ requires empathic awareness of the thoughts, needs, experiences, personality,
emotions,motives, desires, culture, and goals of your communication partners while still
maintaining your own integrity.
-​ Consider interest of others, empathize, adapt, and be ethical

Interpersonal communication:
-​ is a distinctive, transactional form of human
communication involving mutual influence, usually for the purpose of managing relationships.
-​ We mostly spend doing it 80%-90% of the time
-​ Must be Focused and present
-​ Helps manage relationships like
-​ Improves friendly and romantic relationships, colleagues, and physical and emotional
health

Interpersonal vs Impersonal communication:

-​ Impersonal communication occurs when you treat others as objects or respond to their
roles rather than to who they are as unique persons. For example, asking a server for
water because that's their role
-​ Philosopher Martin Buber brought the topic of an I- It (impersonal) and I-Thou
(interpersonal)

Other forms of communications:

Mass communication: one person communicates a message to many people at once but the
message is not physically present. It is rather communicated through mass media
Public communication: speaker address to audience
Small group communication: a group of 3-15 people meet to discuss a common purpose
Intrapersonal communication: communication within yourself like thinking.
Components of the communication process:
●​ Source: Originator of the ideas and emotions expressed of the message. The source then
puts the message into a code called encoding or the opposite can be decoding which
means when the receiver interprets the source’s words or nonverbal cues.
●​ Message: Messages are the written,spoken, and unspoken elements of communication to
which people assign meaning. You can send a message intentionally (talking to a
professor before class) or unintentionally (falling asleep during class); verbally (“Hi.
How are you?”), nonverbally (a smile and a handshake), or in written form (this book).
●​ Channel: is the means by which the message is expressed to the receiver. You probably
receive messages through a variety of channels, including mediated channels, such as text
messaging, e-mail, phone, video conference, Facebook, or Twitter.
●​ Receiver: The receiver of the message is the person (or persons) who interprets the
message and ultimately determines whether it was understood and appropriate.
●​ Noise: anything that interferes with the communication (like external noises like beeps or
birds chirping or internal noises like thoughts)
●​ Feedback: response to the message
●​ Context: the physical and psychological environment for communication like a convo
with your friend at the beach

Models of the communication process:

-​ Communication of Action: Message Transfer (transferring of meaning)
-​ Communication of Interaction: Message Exchange (Understanding the overall
message, feedback)
-​ Communication as Transaction: Message Creation (Based on systems theory, a theory
that describes the interconnected elements of a system in which a change in one element
affects all of the other elements. Also interpreting your partner’s nonverbal and verbal
responses as you talk)

Interpersonal Communication Principles:

●​ Connect us with others
●​ Communication is irreversible ( meaning once message is out, you can't take it back,
Meaning created immediately )
●​ It is complicated
-​ messages are sometimes interpreted in ways we dont want them to according to Osmo
Wiio.
-​ we think we are communicating with one other person but it is actually “six”(1) who you
think you are; (2) who you think the other person is; (3) who you think the other person
thinks you are; (4) who the other person thinks he or she is; (5) who the other person
thinks you are; and (6) who the other person thinks you think he or she is
●​ Governed by rules
 -​ Developed by people and culture (learned through observation and experience)
-​ Rules in relationships such as expectations and cover rules
●​ Interpersonal Communication Involves Both Content and Relationship Dimensions
-​ What you say and how you say it
-​ Content message, consists of the information, ideas, or suggested action that the speaker
wishes to share
-​ Relationship message,offers cues about the emotions, attitudes, and amount of power and
control the speaker feels with regard to the other person.
-​ Metacommunication, is verbal or nonverbal communication about communication, if
happy you smile (nonverbal) or you can express by verbally saying i'm happy to be here

Interpersonal communication and the Media:

-​ “ Electronically Mediated Communication” (EMC), communication through the
media
-​ People have been communicating without face to face for centuries like sending letters
-​ Now we can send messages through text

Effects of media:
Negative
-​ When people communicate often times one person is still looking at their phones if
someone else wants to message them
-​ Social skills decrease
Positive
-​ Extends friendships
-​ More intimate in less time (hyperpersonal relationships)

EMC vs Face to Face:

1.​ Time shifting, asynchronous messages, not heard or seen at the same time and
synchronous messages, are sent and received instantly. EMC allows you not think about
what you are going to say vs face to face
2.​ Varying Degrees of Anonymity, not knowing who you are communicating with and can
be anonymous which can lead to boldness
3.​ Potential for Deception, EMC makes it easier to lie
4.​ Non-verbal Cues, words and graphics are more used in EMC than face to face. In face to
face we smile directly while in EMC we sent emojis
5.​ Role of the written word, Our reliance on the written word affects our EMC interpersonal
relationships.
6.​ Distance

Understanding EMC:
Cues filtered out Theory:
The communication of emotion and relationship cues is restricted in e-mail or text messages
because nonverbal cues, such as facial expression, gestures, and tone of
voices are filtered out.

Media Richness Theory:

The richness or amount of information a communication medium has is based on the amount of
feedback it permits, the number of cues in the channel, the variety of language used, and the
potential for expressing emotions.

Social information-processing theory:

Emotional and relationship messages can be expressed via electronic means, although such
messages take longer to be communicated without the immediacy of nonverbal
cues.

Interpersonal communication Competence:

Become Knowledgeable, by knowing the components principles and rules of process
Skilled, by translating knowledge into action
Motivated, to improve

Chapter 2: Interpersonal Communications and Self:

●​ All communication starts and ends with you
●​ You can understand others if you first aware of the messages you tell yourself
●​ People seek answers to these three questions
-​ Who am I?
-​ Why am I here?
-​ Who are all these others?
Grappling with these questions is essential to understanding others and becoming other-oriented

Who You Think You Are:

Self: The sum total of who you are
Self Concept: a subjective description of who you think you are. This may change over time
depending on new experiences you have and insights you gain from others (Flexible). Although
self concept is changeable, core elements will remain stable to maintain an essence of you.
Despite all this, self awareness is important as well.

Attitudes, beliefs, and values reflect your self-concept

-​ Learned constructs that shape your behavior and self image
●​ Attitudes, learned predisposition to respond to a person, object, or idea in a favorable or
unfavorable way. Attitudes reflect what you like and what you don't like
 ●​ Belief, the ways in which you structure your understanding of reality- what is true and
what is false for you. Most of your beliefs are based on previous experiences
Note: Attitude and Belief are related as you can have a favorable attitude towards something but
still have negative beliefs towards it like liking a baseball team but not believing it will win this
season
●​ Values, are enduring concepts of good and bad, right and wrong. Your values are more
resistant to change than either your attitudes or your beliefs. They are also more difficult
for most people to identify.
Note; Values are central to our behavior and concept of self !! Attitudes are the outeredge and
Beliefs lie between values and attitudes

Mindfulness: Being Consciously Aware

-​ the ability to think consciously about what you are doing
and experiencing, rather than responding out of habit or intuition
●​ 3 ways to be mindfully aware:
-​ Subjective Self Awareness, ability to differentiate ourselves from our physical
and social environment
-​ Objective Self Awareness, the ability to be the object of one’s own thoughts and
attention
-​ Symbolic Self Awareness, unique to humans, is the ability not only to think about
ourselves, but to use language (symbols) to represent ourselves to others like
manners. (ex. Good Afternoon…)
Maslow's Four Stage Model: How aware or unaware we are
●​ Stage 1: Unconscious incompetence. You are unaware of your own incompetence: You don’t know
what you don’t know. For example, at one point in your life you did not know how to ride a bicycle
and you did not even realize that you were missing this skill.
●​ Stage 2: Conscious incompetence. At this level, you become aware or conscious that you are not
competent: You know what you don’t know. At some point you realized that others could ride a bike
and you could not.
●​ Stage 3: Conscious competence. You are aware that you know something, but applying it has not yet
become a habit. When you first learned to ride a bike, you probably had to concentrate on keeping your
balance and riding forward without falling.
●​ Stage 4: Unconscious competence.At this level, your skills become second nature to you. Now
you do not have to mentally review how to ride a bike every time you hop on one. You are unconsciously
Competent

One or Many Selves?

●​ Everyone has a “core self”
-​ Behaviors, Attitudes, Values , Beliefs
 ●​ Self Concept can change per situation:
Williams James identified 3 classic components of self:
-​ Material Self, the total of all the tangible things you own: your body,
your possessions, and your home.
-​ The Social Self, you have many social selves—that, depending on the friend, family member,
colleague, or acquaintance with whom you are interacting, you change the way you are.
-​ The Spiritual Self, consists of all your thoughts and introspections about your values and
moral standards.

How your concept of Self Develops:

1.​ Interactions with individuals
the concept of the looking-glass self, which was his term for the notion that we form
our self-concept by interacting with others ( Frequent, Credible, Consistent)
2.​ Attachment Style
A style of relating to others that develops early in life, based on the emotional bond one forms
with one’s parents or primary caregiver. (secure, anxious, avoidant)
3.​ Associations with groups
-​ Some groups born into, others chosen
-​ Especially important for those in minority cultures
4.​ Roles you Assume
Father,aunt, sister, uncle, manager, salesperson, teacher, and student are labels that imply
certain expectations for behavior, and they are important in shaping self-concept. Also androgynous
roles ( meaning both masculine and feminine)
5.​ Self Labels
-​ We are participants and observes in all that we do
-​ self-reflexiveness , the human ability to be objectively self-aware—to think about what
we are doing while we are doing it.
6.​ Your Personality and Biology
●​ Central to Psychology
●​ Big Five Personality
-​ Extraversion: Outgoing, talkative, positive, and sociable
-​ Agreeableness: Friendly, compassionate, trusting, and cooperative
-​ Conscientiousness: Efficient, organized, self-disciplined, dutiful, and methodical
-​ Neuroticism: Nervous, insecure, emotionally distressed, and anxious
-​ Openness: Curious, imaginative, creative, adventurous, and inventive
●​ Communibiological approach
a major factor affecting how people communicate with others is their genetic makeup—their
Biology. For example, perhaps someone you know was born an introvert—always shy—and thus has more
stage fright or anxiety when communicating with others. In terms of the Big
Five Personality Traits, he or she may have been born with a higher tendency toward neuroticism and
is introverted
●​ Social Learning Theory
we learn how to adapt and adjust our behavior towards others by observing how others behave
 ●​ Communication Apprehension
according to James McCroskey and Virginia Richmond is “the fear or anxiety associated with either real
or anticipated communication with another person or persons.”
●​ Willingness to Communicate
summarizing the likelihood that you will talk with others in a variety of situations.

Self Esteem:
●​ Self-Concept
-​ Description of who you are

●​ Self-Esteem
-​ Evaluation of who you are
1.​ Self-efficacy, your own belief in your ability to perform a task
2.​ Social comparison
3.​ Life position, Feelings of regard for self and others, as reflected in one’s self-esteem.

Facework: Presenting yourself image to others

Face
-​ Focal point of self image
-​ “Face” in communication terms is positive perception of self interactions
-​ Facework involves using communication to maintain self-image and/or seek approval

Projecting Your Face

-​ Positive face
-​ Preventative facework, which is used to avoid developing a negative impression of yourself.
-​ Corrective Framework, to correct negative perceptions, such as when you might say, “Oh, I’m sorry
I was late. I got stuck in heavy traffic.”
-​ Strategies to projecting positive face:
​ - Mindful communication
​ ​ - Consistency
​ ​ - Purposeful Manipulation, not reveal full truth to look good
Protecting Others’ Face:
-​ Other-oriented action
-​ Be polite, generous, supportive
-​ Face-threatening acts undermine or challenge someone positive face
-​ Politeness theory, people have positive perceptions of others who treat them politely and respectfully.

7 Strategies for Improving Self Esteem:

1.​ Engage in self talk
-positive self talk boost confidence
-Intrapersonal communication
2.​ Visualize a positive image of self
-visualize achieving goal
-must be realistic and include plan
3.​ Avoid comparing to others
 4.​ Reframe Appropriately
-learn from mistakes
-redefinding events and experiences in a different point of view
5.​ Develop honest relationships
-help receive feedback
-positive support provides encouragement
6.​ Let go of Past
7.​ Seek Support, like therapy or social support

Self & Interaction with Other:

●​ Sense of self -esteem has direct impact
●​ Symbolic interaction theory, Theory that people make sense of the world based on their interpretation of
words or symbols used by others. You affect others & they affect you.
●​ Other-orientation

Self and Your Future:

●​ Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
-Prediction about future actions that is
likely to come true because the person
believes that it will come true.
●​ Attitudes, beliefs and expectations have a powerful effect on our behavior
●​ Placebo response
Self & Interpersonal Needs
●​ 3 primary social needs identified by Will Schutz , affect degree of communications
with others:
1)​ Need for Inclusion
2)​ Need for control
3)​ Need for affection

Self-disclosure, the Johari Window model:

●​ Self disclosure ( providing info about self)
-increase trust, understanding
-happy people, self disclose more

●​ Self disclosure on Social Media

-Important to monitor self disclosure
-self awareness
●​ Johari Window Model (Model of self-disclosure that summarizes how self-awareness is
influenced by self-disclosure and information about yourself from others.)
-​ Open, open contains information that others know about you and that you are also
aware of
-​ Blind, window contains information that other people know about you, but that
you do not know.
 -​ Hidden,contains information that you know about yourself, but that others do not
know about you.
-​ Unknown, contains information that is unknown to both you and others.
Communication social style, assertiveness, responsiveness:
●​ Carl's Jung's Psychological Types:
Thinkers, feelers, intuiters, and sensors
●​ Communication social style models:
-​ Assertiveness Dimension, tendency to accomplish a task by making requests,
asking for information, and generally looking out for one’s own rights and best
interests.
-​ Responsiveness Dimension, the tendency to focus on the dynamics of
relationships with others by being sensitive to their needs.

Chapter 3: Interpersonal Communication & Perception

Perception:
-​ Making sense out of experiences
-​ Uses five senses
Interpersonal Perception:process by which you decide what people are like and give meaning
to their actions. It includes making
Passive Perception: occurs without effort, simply because our senses are operating. We see,
hear, smell, taste, and feel things around us without any conscious attempt to do so.
Active Perception: It is the process of purposely seeking specific information by intentionally
observing and sometimes questioning others. We engage in active perception when we make a
conscious effort to figure out what we are observing.

3 Stages of Interpersonal Perception:

1)​ Selecting
-​ We perceive and remember selectively:
-​ Selective perception, occurs when we see, hear, or make sense of the world
around us based on a host of factors such as our personality, beliefs, attitudes,
likes, dislikes, hopes, fears, and culture.
-​ Selective Attention
-​ Selective Exposure, our tendency to put ourselves in situations that reinforce
our attitudes, beliefs, values, or behaviors.
-​ Selective recall, remember things we want to remember
-​ We Thin Slice, Observing a small sample of someone’s behavior and then
making a generalization about what the person is like based on that sample.
2)​ Organizing
 -​ Cognitive schema, mental framework use to organize and categorize human
experiences
-​ Creating cognitive schema
- superimpose categories of selective info
- use punctuation to make sense of stimuli
-Gain closure by filling in perceived gaps in info
3)​ Interpreting
-​ The final stage in perception, in which we assign meaning to what we have
observed

Forming Impressions of others:

Impressions: Collection of perceptions about others that you maintain and use to interpret
their behaviors.
Impression formation theory: Theory that explains how you develop perceptions about people
and how you maintain and use those perceptions to interpret their behaviors.
Implicit Personality Theory: Your unique set of beliefs and hypotheses about what people are
like. (Constructs)
Uncertainty Reduction Theory (URT): Theory that explains our information-seeking behavior
in our initial interactions with others and also describes the overall process of how we reduce our
uncertainty about our social world.
-​ Partner Uncertainty,inability to predict the behavior,thoughts, or feelings of another
person.
-​ Self Uncertainty, The insecurity a person feels in being able to describe, explain, or
predict his or her own behavior.
-​ Relational Uncertainty,is the lack of confidence we may feel in our ability to
predict or explain the qualities in the overall nature of a relationship, such as our role in a
relationship, or where a relationship is going.
Strategies to relief uncertainties: Passive (observing other without actively interacting) ,
active, and interactive

Primacy effect, predicted outcome value (POV) theory:

Primary Effect: Tendency to attend to the first pieces of information observed about another
person in order to form an impression.

POV Theory: helps to explain the primacy effect in our interpersonal relationships. This theory
suggests that we make predictions about the future of a relationship based on how we size up
people when we first interact with them.
Recency Effect: Our tendency to emphasize the last thing we observe. For example, if you have
thought for years that your friend is honest, but today you discover that she lied to you about
something important, that lie will have a greater impact on your impression of her

The Halo Effect: which we attribute a variety of positive qualities to them without personally
confirming the existence of these qualities.

The Horn Effect: Attributing a variety of negative qualities to those you dislike.

Interpreting the Behaviors of Others:

-​ we develop our own explanations of why people do what they do
-​ Attribution theory: Theory that explains how you generate explanations for people’s
behaviors.
-​ Causal attribution theory: identifies three potential causes for any person’s action:
circumstance, a stimulus, or the person herself or himself.Attributing behavior to
circumstance means that you believe a person acts in a certain way because the situation
leaves no choice.
-​ Standpoint Theory: We each see the world differently because we are each viewing it
from a different position. Some people have positions of power, and others do not;
-​ Intercultural Communication Theory
-Culture impacts interpretation of behavior
-Cultural elements:
- Material culture, housing clothing,cars
- Social institutions, schools, governments
- Belief systems
- Aesthetics, music,dance ,art
-Language
- Stereotyping

The 6 barriers to accurate interpersonal communication:

1)​ Stereotype, We allow our pre-existing rigid expectations about others to influence our
perceptions.
2)​ Ignoring Information, We do not focus on important information because we give too
much weight to obvious and superficial information.
3)​ Imposing Consistency,We overestimate the consistency and constancy of others
behavior.
4)​ Focusing on the Negative
5)​ Blaming Others by Assuming They Have Control
6)​ Avoiding Responsibility
Indirect perception checking, direct perception checking:
1)​ Be aware of your personal perception barriers
-​ Identify to which barries your ar susceptible
-​ Work to minimize impact of barriers on perception
2)​ Be Mindful of the Behaviors that Create Meaning to You
-​ Do not go on autopilot, be conscious \
-​ Notice details
3)​ Link Details with Bigger Picture
-​ Strive for accurate perception
-​ Don't make quick judgment
4)​ Become aware of other perceptions of you
-​ Be open to feedback
5)​ Check your Perceptions
6)​ Be other oriented

Chapter 4: Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others

Diversity is important as difference impacts human interactions, perceptions

Discrimination: Unfair or inappropriate treatment of people based on their group membership.

5 Human difference that Influence Communication

1)​ Sex and Gender
-​ Sex difference online, Sex differences emerge in how we present ourselves
online, as well as in our live-and-in-person presentation of self. Research has found
that males are more likely than females to access the Internet in public places such as
Libraries;
-​ Implications: men communicate to report and women communicate to establish rapport
2)​ Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity
-​ LBTQ community more assertive than in the past
-​ Homophobia Impacts them
3)​ Race ( common culture) & Ethnicity (social classification)
-​ Terms not synonymous
-​ Difference online
-​ Implications for interpersonal communication: must identify what we have in
common with other and helps explain conflicts with those of different
backgrounds
4)​ Age
-​ Generational gap is real and affects communication
-​ Generational differences
 -​ Implications: different values
5)​ Social Class
-perceived status
- Elements of social class: cues to identify, way of life, family, job, education , money
- implications are differences, class communicated through symbols

Culture, worldview, co-culture, enculturation, acculturation

Culture: is a learned system of knowledge, behaviors, attitudes, beliefs, values, and norms that
is shared by a group of people.
Worldview:Individual perceptions or perceptions bya culture or group of people about key
beliefs and issues, such as death, God, and the meaning of life, which influence
interaction with others
Co-Culture:a distinct culture within a larger culture. The differences of gender, sexual
orientation, gender identity, ethnicity, age, and social class that we
discussed earlier are co-cultures within the predominant culture.
Enculturation: the process of transmitting a group’s culture from one generation to the next
from those within that culture (such as parents, brothers, sisters, or grandparents).
Acculturation: the process of how people from the new, host culture transmit values, ideas, and
beliefs to people outside the host culture. So when your parents teach you how to eat with
chopsticks, that’s enculturation. But when a teacher or friend shows you proper manners and
etiquette, that’s acculturation.
The 7 Dimensions of Culture
1)​ Individualism: one and many
-​ Value individual accomplishments
-​ Feel responsible for caring for themselves
2)​ Collectivistic cultures
-value group and team achievement
Expect members to support one another
3)​ Context: High and Low
-​ High context: nonverbal cues in communication
-​ Low context: rely specifically on language and words
4)​ Masculine and Feminine
-Masculine cultures: empathize traditional roles of men and women
Value achievement , heroism, wealth
Communicate primarily to exchange information
-feminine cultures:value caring, sensitivity
Communicate primarily to connect with other

5)​ Uncertainty: High & Low Tolerance

 -​ Low, have rigid rules of behavior
-​ High , have relaxed expectations

6)​ Power: Centralized and Decentralized

-​ Centralized power
Country governed by hierarchical bureaucracy
-​ Decentralized power
Country has power distributed
Equality
7)​ Time: Short term & Long term
-​ Short term, present time is empathize and value quick results
-​ Long term, future is empathized and value perseverance
8)​ Happiness: Indulgent and Restrained
​ -indulgent, perseus happiness , high value of sports, freedom of speech
​ - restrained, do not expect needs to be met and do not focus on positive
Barriers to effective intercultural communication:

Intercultural communication: Communication between or among people who have different

cultural traditions.
-​ Potential for misunderstanding and mistrust
Ethnocentrism- believe on culture is better than the others
Ways to avoid: be mindful, avoid stereotypes , separate politics, communicate interpersonally

Prejudice: judgement of someone based of stereotypes

intercultural communication competence: Ability to adapt one’s behavior toward another in

ways that are appropriate to the other person’s culture.
contact hypothesis: The more contact you have with someone who is different from you, the
more positive regard you will have for that person.
third culture: Common ground established when people from separate cultures create a third,
“new,” more comprehensive and inclusive culture.
social decentering: Cognitive process in which we take into account another person’s thoughts,
feelings, values, background, and perspective.
Empathy: Emotional reaction that is similar to the reaction being experienced by another
person; empathizing is feeling what another person is feeling.
communication accommodation theory: Theory that all people adapt their behaviors to others
to some extent.
the four reasons why you might adapt your communication with another person
-​ Information
-​ Perceived behavior, You adapt your communication in response to what you think
the other person is thinking
-​ History, You adapt your messages to others based on previous conversations,
 past shared experiences,shared with you
-​ Communication Context, You adapt your message depending on where you are;
-​ the Platinum Rule, Communicating or behaving toward another person as you assume he or she
would like to be treated (as opposed to the Golden Rule, which is treat someone as you would
like to be treated)