Talking Shrimp Welcome Sequence

Subject Lines Opt-In

Get it! Your Subject Lines guide from Talking Shrimp
Oooh, it's nice in here, %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%!
You're in for superb Talking Shrimp mail -- but first, a prezzie!
Three humiliating mistakes
Back to Top
Main Welcome Sequence
Is this it for us?
Let's not fake it, %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%
too soon?
Should've knocked! (Don't let this happen to your business)
You have at least half of this! (Deadly combo)
🚨These 5 words are a huge turnoff (you've been warned)
My #1 favorite writing trick (any guesses?)
What if it *is* about you?
Bribe you? (90 secs)
Seriously? Have we met????
NOTES
Subject Lines Opt-In
PURPOSE EML 01 // Subject Lines Delivery / Confirmation Email

SEND TIMING Immediately

SUBJECT LINE Get it! Your Subject Lines guide from Talking Shrimp

PREVIEW TEXT n/a

STATS Open Rate: 66.82% // Click Rate: 54.33% // UnSub Rate: 0.96%
Reply Rate: 0.78%

Hey %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%!

Thanks for signing up for stuff from Talking Shrimp. I knew I liked you. Here it is:
Click here to download your Non-Sucky Subject Lines!

The first emails you get from me when you sign up are automated, part of what’s
called a “welcome sequence.”

Caveat: They don’t acknowledge any uncertain, unprecedented, turbulent, or

otherwise weird-ass, cuckoo-bananas times we might be experiencing.

So if you see something in these first emails that feels, say, out of sync with current
events, think of them as a great TV series that first aired in “different times.”

Since you signed up to write better subject lines, I’m guessing you’re into writing more
effective, lucrative newsletter emails. You’re in the right place! That’s my jam.

3 tips:

Create an automated welcome sequence. Why? See next tip.

Read this post on writing better emails. (It explains why you should have a welcome
sequence).

Read this post on building a million-dollar subscriber list. I learned long ago, the gold
is in the list. It’s true!

Here's what else you can do now, if you're ready to take this relationship to the next
level.

(I mean, I'm already in your inbox. We're pretty tight.)

1. Come follow me on Instagram. I post stuff like this:

2. Primary-list me (if you haven't already) so I go in your *good email* inbox instead of
the digital holding cell that is your promotions tab or spam folder. I don't wanna go in
there! I'm scared of all the dull, generic newsletters and "[24-hour flash sale]" subject
lines! They'll be jealous of my sweet, much-loved emails, call me "Sissy Pants," and
beat the crap out of me.

Wanna know the best trick to keep me out of spam jail, and see Talking Shrimp
 emails in your good inbox?

Hit reply to this email and tell me you got it!

You can just say "got it," or, if you're feeling ambitious, you can tell me something I'm
dying to know: How'd you find me?

Anyway, so excited you signed up. I knew I liked you.

xoLaura

ps - Another email tip: always use the PS!

Humans are big-time skimmers. Many skip right down to this short part and then do
whatever it says.

So, are you sure you don't also want to get my regular emails?

The ones people call "a masterclass in email copywriting" and "the best thing in my
inbox"?

I mean, since you grabbed the Subject Lines guide, I assume you want to know how
to write emails that get opened, read, and clicked on. My emails will teach you
that...just by reading!

Here's an example of one.

Want in? Click here so we can keep hanging out. In your inbox.

Yay! Thanks,

xoLaura

PS - Email tip: always use the PS!

Humans are big-time skimmers. Many skip right down to this short part and then do
whatever it says.

PPS - You'll learn so much about writing emails that compel and sell if you keep me
around in your Inbox. It's not a marriage contract, you can boot me at any time. Click
here to get my world-famous (seriously) emails

QUICK BRAINSTORM:
- What do you want your new subscriber to do/ check out?
- Is there a natural next step if they want to go deeper/ learn more about you?
Primary-list should always be one of the asks, IMO – and good to get replies
List 2-5 other things.

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PURPOSE EML 02 // Welcome Email #1

SEND TIMING 1 to 2 days after initial email

SUBJECT LINE Oooh, it's nice in here, %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%!

PREVIEW TEXT n/a

STATS Open Rate: 54.52% // Click Rate: 11.95% // UnSub Rate: 1.26%
Reply Rate: 0.60%

Hey %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE% —

Thanks for having me in your inbox.

If I've been before, always love being invited again. (Did you do something new in here,
by the way? Paint job? New throw pillows? The place looks great.)

And, yes, I'm pretending not to see that pile of opt-in goodies in the corner.

A precarious stack of free blueprints, checklists, profit plans, kickstarters, shocking

reports and smoothie recipes. All shoved under the virtual sofa.

And look! There's mine! Right on top!

That one, the one called Non-Sucky Subject Lines.

That slim, simple, quick-to-use guide is waiting to make you money.

It hands you my top-performing email subject lines of all time.

So you can create your own must-open lines, that POP out from all the snoozers in your
subscriber's inbox.

Here's why that matters:

The people who open your emails are the ones most likely to buy from you or hire you.

The more they open, the better your business. That's the equation.

But creating intriguing, must-open subject lines is where just about EVERYONE gets
stuck.
This thing will get you unstuck.

It doesn't just show you MY subject lines, it gives you:

● My best subject lines, in order of open rate

● Those same lines by "type" (eg, The Warning Email)
● Mad-libs style formulas to create your own

...So you can crank up your open rates...and your income. And, get a lot more replies to
the tune of,

"THANK YOU FOR BEING THE BEST THING IN MY INBOX!"

"YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I'VE STAYED SUBSCRIBED TO!"
"I LOVE YOU, HERE'S MY CREDIT CARD."

This is all to say, if you haven't used it yet...

Get to it! Write your Non-Sucky Subject Lines.

If you can't find the Non-Sucky Subject Lines guide in the tall, teetering stack of freebies
you've been hoarding, you can grab it again here.

OH! WAIT! Did you read the epic post I wrote about email yet? If not, you've got to pair
that with your freebie. It's like a mini mastery course, with 21 ways to write better,
higher-converting emails, 7 reasons email is powerful for LAZY creative types (like moi)
and more. Read it here.

As for the rest that you never used, give them to Goodwill -- along with the crazy
platform shoes you keep thinking you'll wear. You won't.
See you 'round town!

("Town" being your inbox.)

Yours,
Laura

ps - We already like each other, right? I'm feeling it. Do us both a favor and move this
email to your inbox, if it landed somewhere else and/or primary-list my email address --
because I want to be in the box where your friends go, not the one with the unopened
offers for pillowcase sets.

Another way to primary-list it, and my favorite, is if you hit "reply" and tell me you got
this. Or say anything. Or write nothing, which will drive me crazy but be effective.

PPS - OMG, I’m about to fall in love with you—when you take 2 minutes to answer
these q’s. Where have you been all my life?

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PURPOSE EML 01 // Just Emails / Confirmation Email

SEND TIMING Immediately

SUBJECT LINE You're in for superb Talking Shrimp mail -- but first, a prezzie!

PREVIEW TEXT n/a

STATS Open Rate: 74.07% // Click Rate: 39.59% // UnSub Rate: 0.70%
Reply Rate: 9.04%

Thanks for signing up for stuff from Talking Shrimp!

Before I start sending you the world's best emails, let me say: I’m so honored. I know
you don’t let just anyone into your inbox. (Well, I hope not. There’s some rough, and by
that I mean boring, trade out there.)

As a thank-you gift, I'd like to give you my 5 Secrets to Non-Sucky Copy. An extra little
nugget in case you're into writing -- sales copy, emails, blog posts, postcards, an angry
note to the jacknut who parked in your spot, anything that needs to be compelling. You
can download it now by clicking this link right here.

The first emails you get from me when you sign up are automated, part of what’s called
a “welcome sequence.”
Caveat: They don’t acknowledge any uncertain, unprecedented, turbulent, or otherwise
weird-ass, cuckoo-bananas times we might be experiencing.

So if you see something in these first emails that feels, say, out of sync with current
events, think of them as a great TV series that first aired in "different times."

Here's what you can do right now, if you're ready to take this relationship to the next
level.

(I mean, I'm already in your inbox. We're pretty tight.)

1. Come follow me on Instagram. I post stuff like this:

2. Primary-list me (if you haven't already) so I go in your *good email* inbox instead of
the digital holding cell that is your promotions tab or spam folder. I don't wanna go in
there! I'm scared of all the dull, generic newsletters and "[24-hour flash sale]" subject
lines! They'll be jealous of my sweet, much-loved emails, call me "Sissy Pants," and
beat the crap out of me.
Wanna know the best trick to keep me out of spam jail, and see Talking Shrimp emails
in your good inbox?

Hit reply to this email and tell me you got it!

You can just say "got it," or, if you're feeling ambitious, you can tell me something I'm
dying to know: How'd you find me?

Anyway, so excited you signed up. I knew I liked you.

Thanks, Laura

PS - I love hearing from you, and I read every email that comes in. I mean it, hit me
back!

PPS - OMG, my first book is here for pre-order! You’re going to love the intro chapter,
which you get instantly when you fill out the form here (toughtittiesbook.com).
 Back to Top

PURPOSE EML 02 // Welcome Email #1

SEND TIMING 1 to 2 days after initial email

SUBJECT LINE Three humiliating mistakes

PREVIEW TEXT n/a

STATS Open Rate: 63.36% // Click Rate: 15.17% // UnSub Rate: 1.01%
Reply Rate: 1.42%

%FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%!

**We already like each other, right? I'm feeling it. Do us both a favor and move this
email to your inbox, if it landed somewhere else, and/or primary-list my email address --
because I want to be in the box where your friends go, not the one with the unopened
offers for pillowcase sets.**

Now then. Can I just say again, I'm so honored that you signed up just to get my emails.

That makes me feel like you like me for me, not for some freebie—

You know, one of those pdfs or recordings or free videos that promise to change your
life and business, or save you from humiliating mistakes.

But since we're here, let me save you from these three:

1 - Don’t make a typo like this one in your newsletter.

2 - Don't hit Facebook Live or Instagram Live on the toilet*

3 - Always check the "to" line before dashing off a text and hitting send. Lucky for me,
the worst I've done is accidentally sent "World's best hubs!" and "YOU MY BOO!" to
people who aren't my husband, but I've had close calls.

See, you get good freebies from me. But I like that our relationship started off from a
pure place. This is like in the movies when one person hides that they're filthy rich to
make sure the other person really loves them...and then they get married, and then,
surprise! We own 3 planes! And a mansion with its own amusement park! And Richard
Branson! (Not that Richard Branson, Richard Branson is the name of our purebred race
pony.)
This is all to say, you passed the test, %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%. We can get
married now. And ride off into the sunset on Richard Branson.

Thanks for believing in me.

Oh wait -- don't go yet! Did you get up in my Insta? That's some key Talking Shrimp
shizz. OK, as you were.

xoLaura

PSps - *My dad once did an accidental Facebook Live. It was a static shot of his water
glass (seen from below) and a napkin that occasionally went away and then came back.
The dialogue was about what you'd expect from an old folk's lunch: "Do you want to
invite that person to sit with us?" "No, he left." "He left, and I'm a leftist. Ha." "That's very
funny. Remember to chew your lamb thoroughly before you swallow it." It went on for an
hour. This has nothing to do with anything, but I know you like a good ps. Please join
me in a moment of gratitude that my dad's accidental live broadcast could have been so
much worse.

PPS - What made you sign up for my list? How'd you find me? Have you been watching
me from a window across the street for 3 years and you just now realized you could find
out everything about me just by subscribing? You can tell me. I know you're there.

PPPS - I’ve got countless mistakes to avoid (or embrace) in my book, Tough Titties!
Among them: hate-friending your middle-school bully decades later on social media,
measuring your self-worth in hookups with bartenders, dating your married salsa
instructor, going on an icky retreat in the jungle with a self-help group you can’t stand,
buying website domains after 2am.

Pre-order here and you’ll get the intro chapter instantly!

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Main Welcome Sequence

PURPOSE EML 00 // 2nd Chance to Non-Subs

SEND TIMING 1 day after last email

SUBJECT LINE Is this it for us?

PREVIEW TEXT I don’t want to say goodbye!

 STATS Recently added, no stats yet available

Hey %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%!

Wanted to make extra sure you don’t want my newsletter emails. (You checked the “No”
box when you signed up for your sweet freebie.)

If you do want to keep hearing from me, make sure to click here: YES, Laura, keep
raining genius upon my inbox!

If not, this is the last you’ll hear from me. I’ll be ok with it…in time. But will you?

xoLaura

PS - here’s that link again: Sign me up to get those Talking Shrimp emails!

Back to Top

PURPOSE EML 01 // Welcome Email #2

SEND TIMING 2 days after last email

SUBJECT LINE Let's not fake it, %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%

PREVIEW TEXT n/a

STATS Open Rate: 60.88% // Click Rate: 6.96% // UnSub Rate: 1.12%
Reply Rate: 4.28%

Hey %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%,

What do you do when someone says hi to you, and you have NO FREAKING IDEA
HOW YOU KNOW THEM?

My husband, who was a restaurant GM for years and had to greet familiar-but-forgotten
people every single night, has the big-smiled "Hey, YOU!" down pat.
I've done my share of "Yo! What is UP!" to people whose names and entire beings I'm
blanking on.

My dad, once he reached 80, gave up on pretending and had his own system. He
simply said -- eyebrows raised and eyes all bugged-out in a friendly way --
"Hello. Do I know you?"

It was refreshing until they said their name and he’d say "PLEASE SPELL IT," and
demand to know where in Hungary their great-great grandparents were born.

Anyway, just so you're not all, "Do I know you?" or "Um....and you are....?" whenever
you see me in your inbox, let's get to know each other. That way, we don't have to fake
it.

Me:

● Born in New York City, grew up here when it was fun and filthy, perverts
roamed free and the streets were paved with dogshit. Never left except for
college. And college was close enough to drive home with my laundry.
● I was on the show open of Sesame Street.
● On most days, I wake up at 9am. If I get up before that, I'm a superhero.
● My superpower is knowing from a mile away who's giving out free samples.
Of food, not soap. Please don't hand me soap. (I'm looking at you, Sabon.)
● My first real jobs were at magazines (SPY and New York Magazine), then I
spent years and years writing TV promos for networks like Nickelodeon,
Nick at Nite, TV Land, NBC, USA, Bravo, and many more.
● Shoots were fun. I taught Sherman Hemsley, AKA George Jefferson, to
moonwalk. Adam West, AKA Batman, growled "See you in the Bat Cave" in
my ear. Both are now deceased. Not my doing.
● The easiest job I ever had was writing in an online forum about Melrose
Place. The grossest job I ever had was bartending in the Lower East Side's
most notorious dung-hole.
● My friend Marie Forleo got me into the online world. We've worked together
for years, creating our signature copywriting course, The Copy Cure, and
co-scripting every episode of her award-winning web show, Marie TV. My
favorite part is writing her team into ridiculous outfits, like adult baby
costumes, or mankinis.
● I recently retired from both promo-writing and from 1:1 work with private
clients. It was scary to give up that major part of my business, but I wanted
to spend more time writing my own stuff — like this email to you.
● Now, in other ways (like courses and workshops), I still help freelancers,
service-based businesses, entrepreneurs, solo-preneurs, and other types
ending in -preneur (I'm a samplepreneur) get paid to be themselves.
Through my work with hundreds of them (including online biggies like Marie
Forleo, Mastin Kipp, Amy Porterfield, and Kate Northrup) I've seen over
and over that putting “you” into your copy is pure magic for getting people
to love you up, share your ideas, and happily click your Buy button. Are
you a whatever-preneur or anyone who wants better copy? I can help
you.
● I'm obsessed with my House dance class. To say I sweat like a pig is unfair
to pigs, who barely have a dewy glow next to me. Do pigs even sweat?
 ● I will not apologize for loving Real Housewives. I'm all for sisterhood, but I
also like watching women fight in giant chandelier earrings and silky tops.
● When I say, "I'm in the mood for a nice bowl of pasta," my husband rolls his
eyes and points out, "You want that every night." True dat. I want to live in
a world made of spaghetti.
● I've had two professional photoshoots. Here's how I look when I'm in full
makeup, pretending to perch casually on a credenza. It's also how I might
look when I'm trying to remember who you are. 👇

And you, %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%?

Write and tell me something, so I can say, "Hey, I know you!"

If you don't know where to start, what's one weird thing only friends know about you?

What was the easiest money you ever made?

How'd you come across me? (I always want to know this.)

Or, what one meal would you have for the rest of your life, if you had to eat the same
thing for dinner every night?
Mine is spaghetti, duh. With tomato sauce. And ice cream for dessert.

xoLaura

ps - I really mean it, %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%, write me back! At least tell me

how you came across Talking Shrimp and what made you sign up. I love hearing
from you.

pps - I've heard that a good way to remember someone's name is to picture them doing
something violent or sekshual (I won't spell the word out, don't want to screw up delivery
rates) when you meet them. Hasn't worked for me, but I like the idea.

QUICK BRAINSTORM:
What do you want your new subscriber to know about you or your business?
- Fun facts?
- Origin story?
- Cred? (Media or industry honors, etc.)
- Other?

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PURPOSE EML 02 // Welcome Email #3

SEND TIMING 2 days after last email

SUBJECT LINE too soon?

PREVIEW TEXT n/a

STATS Open Rate: 61.39% // Click Rate: 7.97% // UnSub Rate: 1.70%
Reply Rate: 0.22%

Hey %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%!

Wanted to give you a heads up about something.

I've been nervous, wondering, "Is it too soon to tell %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE% this?"

Well, here goes nothing. Ready?

Sometimes, I sell things.

Whew, felt good to say that out loud! Wait, I didn't. I typed it.

Yep, I sell things.

Sometimes it's my things, like:

The 60-Minute Makeovers Copywriting Mini-Course

The About Page Builder (with Professional Mini-Bio Templates)

Inbox Hero

Launch Hero

The Copy Cure (a collaboration with Marie Forleo)

…And sometimes, it’s other people's things.

Namely, other people's courses. (You down with OPC? Yeah you know me!)
When a friend offers a course or product that I've experienced and believe in, one I think
could get you great results, I love to promote it. I do it for a commission, which I like to
call "thank-you money." It sounds way less...Avon Lady.

Now, sometimes these promotions last a whole month. And when I'm in, I'm usually all
in. (Just like I am in the shower. I hate going in with a shower cap.)

That means, I write lots and lots of emails about the course. And I make them damn
good. So good, many people with no interest in the course, or who've already taken it,
keep reading.

Some people save them for swiping, even though they're pretty unswipe-able. (I mean,
really, are you going to copy my story about having size 10 feet, or about missing a
flight from Barcelona to San Sebastian? Seems pretty specific.)

All this is to say, if you joined during one of those times, you're about to be on the ride.
Or you might have hopped on right in the middle. See, I don't like to leave you out of the
promotion.

And here's why:

You might love getting those emails. You could be one of the people who say, "Perfect
timing! This is exactly what I needed."

If I didn't send them, you might be one of the people who say, "Aw, man! I would've
signed up just for your bonus. Wish I'd known before the cart closed! Thanks for
nothing!"

On the other hand, %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%, you might hate it.

It might be too soon. Like, "I just signed up and Laura's already selling me stuff? The
chutzpah* on her!"

In which case, I applaud your use of Yiddish, and invite you in every one of those emails
to be removed from that promotion. I make it click-of-a-link easy.

And if you're not doing well with the news that I sell things, this will definitely freak you
out: I actually LIKE DOING IT!

Also? I like making money. 🙊

OK. Glad you're still here! Hope you'll stick around.

xoLaura

ps - *For the non-Yiddish-savvy: "Chutzpah," pronounced hoots (rhymed with "foots") +

puh (rhymed with "duh") means nerve, shameless audacity, other things I'm totally cool
with as character traits.

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PURPOSE EML 03 // Full Shrimper Email #1

SEND TIMING 2 days after last email

SUBJECT LINE Should've knocked! (Don't let this happen to your business)

PREVIEW TEXT n/a

STATS Open Rate: 51.95% // Click Rate: 5.82% // UnSub Rate: 1.87%
Reply Rate: 0.35%

Oh god, %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE% --

It happened. One summer weekend, one of my top nightmares came true.

(Not the #1 nightmare. That one is about catching fire. I'm even scared to light a match,
or cook on the stovetop. Which is why I only make cereal and salads.)

This nightmare — which, believe it or not, relates to your website copy — is about
walking in on someone, or, worse, being walked in on, in the bathroom at a party.

Thankfully, this time, it was the former. I was at a wedding reception held in an old
beach house in the Hamptons, Long Island.
In this kind of house, everything's swollen with humidity and crooked, and you have to
lift the bathroom door and pull really, really hard—no, harder...HARDER...there you
go...— to latch it.

Someone didn't do that.

I should've knocked, but it looked open.

I'm sure this has happened to you, right? You know what comes next:

—That unwanted glimpse of hoisted party dress, awkward position, and flash of
indecency you can't unsee.

—The yell of "I'M IN HERE!" overlapping with my "OHMIGOD SORRY!"

—The slammed door, the fleeing. The avoidance of eye contact between you and
Bathroom Person for the rest of the party.

Yeah. All those things happened. It's OK, I soothed myself with one-bite quesadillas and
oysters on the half shell. I love a raw bar.

What's this horror story have to do with your copy? Have you guessed?

Well, when someone clicks on your blog post, your home page, your about page, your
email, your whatever, and isn't grabbed in one quick glance -- if there's a single moment
of "huh?" or "ew" or "meh" -- they're out of there as fast as if they walked in on you in
the bathroom.

Luckily, you can keep that from happening with copy.

What kind of copy? Um, the kind that doesn't suck.

And you have just the thing to help you write that copy for your email subject lines.

Did you try your own? What happened? Hit reply and tell me your results. Got a
subject line that got noticeably higher opens than all the others? Tell me about it.

And you have just the thing to help you write that copy.

It's called the 5 Secrets to Non-Sucky Copy. I sent it to you a few days ago.
The tips in that little guide are like a squeegee that wipes away the suckiness from
your copy and leaves your message punchy, compelling, and crystal clear.
Did you check it out? If so, I'd love to hear from you.
 What part of CRAPP did you find you most need to cut out? For review:

Cliche
Redundant
Ambiguous
Pretentious
Passive

Reply to this email and tell me what you discovered needs some non-suckifying.

Want to go deeper with your copy skills (the kind that pay
off in both confidence and cash)?
- Want to write headlines that get right in your ideal buyer's head (and wallet)?

- Wish you had an About page that gets people obsessed with you -- in a non-
braggy way?

- Long to crank out and slap up a sales page so personable and persuasive, it
has people scrolling madly for the Buy button?

Here's what you need to check out next. (It's my mini-course that shows you how to
take your copy from bye-bye to must-buy.)

Catch you later. And remember to pull really hard on that bathroom door!

xoLaura

PS - I mean it, I love hearing from you. Write me!

PPS - rumor has it, this mini-course is “game changing.” Check it out:
 Back to Top

PURPOSE EML 04 // Full Shrimper Email #2

SEND TIMING 3 days after last email

SUBJECT LINE You have at least half of this! (Deadly combo)

PREVIEW TEXT Want to be lethally addictive to your audience? Here’s your one-
two punch.

STATS Open Rate: 50.43% // Click Rate: 6.57% // UnSub Rate: 0.98%
Reply Rate: 0.04%

%FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%!

I shouldn't have opened the bag.

My husband and I were on vacation in the Caribbean in a not-quite-hotel, meaning a

complex of condos with a 9-5 office.

When you check in at this place, there's a sweet kind of "You're on your own" courtesy
basket on the kitchenette table.

You get a couple of hand soaps, laundry detergent, and a bunch of supermarket snacks
chosen to withstand the Caribbean humidity: microwave popcorn, vacuum-sealed bags
of Chips Ahoy, nut mix, Sunmaid raisins, and one lethally addictive item: Ritz Bits.
(Hang in there, I promise this applies to your copy, %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%.)

I normally wouldn't even have opened the Ritz Bits, but the supermarket was closed the
day we arrived.

We were ravenous, or fake ravenous (that indigestion bubble in your stomach you get
from the plane) and didn't have any snacks.

Goddamn they're good! Hello, crack. They're mini Ritz crackers with a little "cheese
food"—as in, the delicious dried paste more correctly described as notcheese—
sandwiched in between.

Finished the courtesy pack, then went to the local supermarket to get more.

If I were a “resolutions” person, mine that year would have been: No more Ritz Bits.

So, %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%.

You want to be lethally addictive to your audience like those little sandwich crackers?

So much so that people keep coming back for more?

You have the ability to become Ritz Bits, through your copy.

I present to you another deadly (effective) combo, of which you already have at least
half:

Talking Shrimp emails (check!) + the Talking Shrimp mini-courses.

Look what entrepreneur and copywriting deep-diver Courtney Kirschbaum has to say
about this one-two punch:

Deep background:

I "met" you through The Copy Cure. Took it in 2016 and became interested
in copy.

Took more classes, read a lot of Gary Halbert and hand copied 50 or so
adverts from that same decade: "Do You Make These Mistakes in English?"

I even read Ogilvy On Advertising and drooled over pictures of his elegant
chateaux in the south of France.

None of this was as transformative as your 60-Minute Makeover

combined with reading your emails.
 Take that David Ogilvy!
Thank you Laura Belgray!

Yeah, take that, David Ogilvy!

So, which of these is missing from your arsenal?

Talking Shrimp's 60 Minute Makeover Copywriting Mini-Course - tweaks that take your
copy from "meh" to MONEY. Great if you're a visual learner and want some quick
motivation to get your copy done. This'll change the way you see copy, and get you off
your butt. A perfect complement to The Copy Cure if you've already taken it. Pair them!

Talking Shrimp's About Page Builder (With Bonus Guide: Your Mega-Impressive,
Money-Making Mini Bio -- perfect for any media you do). Don't let your About page
torture you for months or years, keeping you in "my website's almost finished"
purgatory. Grab this and get 'er done.

Grab one and be the dangerous-if-opened snack pack that you are.

xoLaura

ps - If you're in About Page agony because you think it has to tell EVERYTHING, you'll
love Eric's, which I feature in the About Page Builder. It's provided great relief to chronic
sufferers of APO (About Page Overwhelm). Ask your doctor if the About Page Builder is
right for you.
 Back to Top

PURPOSE EML 05 // Full Shrimper Email #3

SEND TIMING 2 days after last email

SUBJECT LINE 🚨These 5 words are a huge turnoff (you've been warned)

PREVIEW TEXT n/a

STATS Open Rate: 51.63% // Click Rate: 3.71% // UnSub Rate: 0.52%
Reply Rate: 0.04%

Dear %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%,

I hope you are well.

Kidding! I mean, I do hope you're well, but I'd never start an email that way. Why? This
graphic from my Instagram explains it:
"I hope you are well" is always an attempt not to be cold or abrupt, but it's about as
warm and fuzzy as a toilet tank. Soon as I see those words, I know it's from someone
who wants me to do something I don't want to do.

Or sign something. Usually a tax form.

There goes my email b0ner.*

⠀
First of all, read that sentence out loud. Exactly as it's written. Do you sound like an
alien who's come to earth and trying to mimic human speech so that you can infiltrate
the species, or what? You're off the mark, E.T.!

English-speaking humans use contractions. We say, "I hope you're well." You're, not
you are.

Second, you want something? Butter me up.

The best emails are the ones that start with compliments. Now you've got my attention!
⠀

Better yet, make the compliment specific.

OK opener:

Hey So-and-so-who-I-hope-will-read-this-and-say-yes,

I'm a big fan of yours. You do great work!

I'm writing because...

Better opener:

Hey So-and-so-I-hope-will-read-this-and-say-yes,

I'm a big fan of yours and have read all your books. I attended your brilliant TEDx talk,
"How To Change Your Life With Bran Muffins," and immediately began a daily bran
muffin routine that transformed my mindset, health, and career. (Remind me to tell you
how bran muffins got me promoted to VP, all thanks to you.)

I'm writing because...

Jerk opener:

Hello. I hope this email finds you well.

We see that your website is not getting organic traffic. We are a renowned SEO firm
that can get you more reach. We await your response.

That last one's not just the opener, it's the whole email. I get those all the time. Deeee-
lete!

How do you start an email when you want something? Hit reply and tell me.

xoL

ps - *Sometimes I spell a word funny intentionally. I don't want these to end up in spam.

pps - Have you found me on Insta? Go here and hit follow! I post my own stuff. No
recycled "If you can dream it, you can do it" garbage. (Don't be offended, some of my
best friends post that garbage. It does very well.)

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PURPOSE EML 06 // Full Shrimper Email #4

SEND TIMING 2 days after last email

SUBJECT LINE My #1 favorite writing trick (any guesses?)

PREVIEW TEXT n/a

STATS Open Rate: 51.64% // Click Rate: 18.30% // UnSub Rate: 0.88%
Reply Rate: 0.03%

Hey %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%,

One person's landing page is so good I'll put a brand new Real Housewives on pause to
read the whole thing...

And then another person's one-paragraph email makes me glaze over like I did when
my dad would start explaining finances or how Mom's second cousin twice removed's
adopted middle child is very possibly related to Sigmund Freud.

What's the difference?

It almost always boils down to my one favorite writing trick. It works miracles to turn blah
copy into pause-the-TV copy.

It's something they teach you more in creative writing classes than in copywriting, which
is insane because it's key for words that sell.
I wrote about it here. Not to use fear tactics on you, but If you're not using this practice,
you will die.

I'm so kidding! But not really. If you don't use it, you'll die on the page. Or your words
will. They'll be dead to us. In fact, we won't even notice them. So yeah.

Click here to go to the post.

xo Laura

ps - If you like the post, add a comment! I read all my comments, no matter when
they're added.

pps - Can you guess what the one writing trick is without even reading the post? Hit me
back and tell me, smartypants. No cheating.

ppps - There are great examples of this mystery trick in use in my 60 Minute Makeover
Copywriting Mini-Course. The one I told you about in this email.

You can grab it by clicking the pic below.

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PURPOSE EML 07 // (Added 2022) Full Shrimper Email #5

 SEND TIMING 2 days after last email

SUBJECT LINE What if it *is* about you?

PREVIEW TEXT - Null -

STATS Open Rate: 54.55% // Click Rate: 4.55% // UnSub Rate: 0.00%
Reply Rate: 0.00%

NOTES Very recently added and has too few sends yet to declare that
these rates are the average.

Hey %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%,

What's up!

Here’s something fun. I get notifications of other sites linking to my About page all the
time, because it’s such a good read. I also get people signing up to learn from and work
with me who say (paraphrasing):

“I found you through your About page. Devoured every word and low-key want to be
you or at least be BFFs, here’s my money.”

But enough about me. What about you?

Yes, you. Despite what you've heard (I'll get to that), people do want to know about you.

What do I mean? Well, if you've wrestled with your website's About page and gone
down the usual google holes looking for "how to write an about page," you've probably
stumbled into a writer's bear-trap. (Not to be confused with a writer's-bear trap, which
captures a writer's pet bear. Whee, fun with hyphens!)

And that trap is the advice, "Your About page isn't about you! It's about the
customer!"

I respectfully disagree. To an extent. And that'll be a relief to you if you've been pulling
out your hair trying to figure out, "How do I make my dog, my love of pancakes, and my
Master's degree from Prestigious People's University about my customer?"

I'll help you figure it all out, and have an About page that feeds your audience a potent
dose of love potion, with my essential About-Page Builder.

(Already have it? Maybe time to revisit!)

I'll also help you with that perpetually confounding and widely feared little snippet of
"about you"-ness called The Professional Mini-Bio.
You know, the short paragraph of copy that's supposed to sum you up in like, 50 words
or less? #nopressure #gulphelp

Go here to get Talking Shrimp's About Page Builder (With Bonus Guide: Your
Mega-Impressive, Money-Making Mini Bio -- perfect for any media you do).
Look, if you're planning to be all "fresh start" in the Fall, and trot out that "New You,"
you're going to need a new About page anyway, right? Because the one you have is
about the old you. Probably 2015 you. Who even WAS that person? Buh-bye!

And if you need all-over copy help, or tagline help, I highly recommend this puppy*:

Talking Shrimp's 60 Minute Makeover Copywriting Mini-Course - tweaks that take

your copy from "meh" to MONEY. Great if you're a visual learner and want some quick
motivation to get your copy done. This'll change the way you see copy, and get you off
your butt. A perfect complement to The Copy Cure if you've already taken it. Pair them!

xoLaura

ps - *Note that it’s not an actual puppy. While not as cute as puppies, these minicourses
also won't poop on your new shag carpet or eat your good Italian loafers.

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PURPOSE EML 08a // (Added May 2022) Full Shrimper Email #6

SEND TIMING 3 days after last email

SUBJECT LINE Bribe you? (90 secs)

PREVIEW TEXT It's ethical. I think. This is such an easy one for you. Open and
give it your minute and a half.

STATS Open Rate: 65.57% // Click Rate: 6.48% // UnSub Rate: 0.81%
Reply Rate: 0.31%

Hey %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%,

I'll trade you info about myself for info about you. Deal?

You have the upper hand. The stuff you're going to tell me is way less personal.

All you have to do is fill out this 2-question, 90-second survey.

I'll send you a shameful confession—not the kind about something awful or dorky I did
as a ten-year-old. It's about something I did as an adult.
Tradesies?

Click here to take the survey and get your info reward.

Thanks in advance,

xoLaura

PS - for bonus points, or, if you're going for bare minimum and OUTRIGHT REFUSE—
you rebel, you—to take the world's quickest survey, hit reply and tell me:

How'd you find me, and what do you want from me?

Help with X,
Distraction from Y,
Inspiration to do Z,

...or for me to become World President, outlaw double-kissing so there's no more

awkward head confusion, and rule every day of the week "Taco Tuesday"?

LMK, I can probably achieve at least 3 out of 4.

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PURPOSE EML 08b // Full Shrimper Email #7

SEND TIMING 3 days after last email

SUBJECT LINE Seriously? Have we met????

PREVIEW TEXT n/a

STATS Open Rate: 40.86% // Click Rate: 11.43% // UnSub Rate: 0.55%
Reply Rate: 0.12%

NOTES Subject line recently changed (from "this is for the lazy ones") to
see if it increases the Open Rate

Hey %FIRSTNAME|TITLECASE%!

Oh, I laugh. Laugh, laugh, laugh. Why?

I've helped a lot of coaches with their copy.

Life coaches, wellness coaches, joy coaches, high-performance coaches, abundance
coaches, gluten-cleanse coaches, empowerment coaches, vibrational alignment
coaches.

(I'm tempted to put quotation marks on some of those but I won't. There's a lid for every
pot, a client for every "WTF-does-that-title-you-gave-yourself-mean" service provider.)

Can I tell you how many of those have asked me to barter?

In return for my services, they offer to help me do the following hilarious things:

- Take more breaks.

- Learn the art of self care
- Release feelings of unworthiness around money
- Put myself first, for once.
- Create that "something bigger than myself" that I'm craving in my life.

Um...have we met?
[CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST]

Too lazy to go to the blog? You should anyway, it's where you'll find like-minded lazies.
We need to stick together.

And really, you can click a link.

Here it is again. If you've got it in you, leave a comment.

See you over there!

xoLaura

ps - want to improve your copy the lazy way? I present to you...learning by osmosis.
Click the pic below to grab my mini-course that teaches you through simple, visual
before-and-afters.
QUICK BRAINSTORM:
What do you want your subscriber to do once they’re on your list?

- Buy something
- Book a free call
- Book a service
- Take a survey
- Refer a friend
- Go to your site
- Listen to your best podcast episodes and subscribe
- Leave a podcast rating/review
- Leave a book rating/review
- Follow you on social media
- Subscribe to your YT channel
- Join your free facebook group
- Join a waitlist for a program, group, product
- Take a quiz
- Head to your resources page
- Spread the love, share the email

Back to Top
NOTES
WHAT I NEED TO ADD:

- Credibility markers, especially in the beginning but throughout

- “Let’s not fake it” email a good place to show off media coverage
- My book, everywhere
- Another ask for the survey, maybe 60 days later
- An email driving to my resources page, which is super popular

FROM SANDRA

Some Stats:
● Survey
○ Originally we added the bribe you email to the Welcome Sequence and
added a CTA to the survey in the 2nd delivery email which lead to an average
of 1.75 people answering a day
○ Adding it to two more emails in the sequence increased it to 2.45 submissions
a day - a 40% increase

● Email Stats
some highlights
○ All new subscribers are kept from receiving regular M,W,F emails for the first
4 emails of the welcome sequence. Then they start getting the rest of the
welcome sequence on Tue,Thu,Sat and your open rate stays very high
■ RE: The 2 low open rate emails you see in the list:
● “Learn from a guy who tried to scam me twice.” was removed in
2020
● “Seriously? Have we met????” was previously “this is for the
lazy ones” and was only very recently changed so we can
check in a month or so to see if the open rate has increased.
○ You have a 4.28% REPLY rate on “Let's not fake it, %FIRSTNAME|
TITLECASE%”
○ You have a 18.30% click through rate on “My #1 favorite writing trick (any
guesses?)” with the majority of people clicking “/whats-hard-sticky-makes-
star”

● Sales from Welcome Sequence

○ Of those who Click to the 60 MM Offer, 3.92% buy within 10 days of entering
the Welcome Sequence
■ 13.34% buy within 100 days of entering the Welcome Sequence
○ Of those who click the to the About Page 1.96% buy within 10 days of
entering the Welcome Sequence
■ 2.78% buy within 100 days of entering the Welcome Sequence
○ Thise stats are really good considering most launches only convert 1%-3% of
someone’s entire list.
○ You have a 2 emails that drive a good percentage of people to your 60mm
■ 5.67% CTR = Should've knocked! (Don't let this happen to your
business)
■ 5.62% CTR = You have at least half of this! (Deadly combo)