MODULE 3

I. CLARITY AND OBJECTIVITY

Course Learning Outcome:

Students are able to apply clarity, concision, stance, and objectivity in their research
writing, while also differentiating language issues like grammar, sentence length, and
redundancies. Additionally, they can find, select, and combine research sources,
operating and implementing them effectively.
➢ Sub-CLO:
1. Students are able to apply (C4) clarity, concision, stance, and
objectivity in their research writing.
2. Students are able to find (C3), select (C5), and assemble (C4)
research sources as well as to operate(C4) and implement (C4)
the selected research sources.

II. MATERIALS

1. What is the definition of clarity and concision?

2. How to use a variation of sentence length in writing a paragraph?
3. How to be objective in writing?

III. PRE-CLASS ACTIVITIES

Please visit E-LEARNING UMN for the pre-knowledge of this module.

IV. IN-CLASS ACTIVITIES

V. CLARITY AND CONCISION

Being concise means keeping your writing brief and to the point; in other words, being
economical in your use of language and saying only what needs to be said and no
more. And beware: this is not a license to reduce your workload by reducing your ideas
or discussion and cutting things down to the bare minimum! Being concise does not
mean being minimalistic; it means making every word count and being very precise in
your thinking and in your use of language such that you can say in five eloquent, well-
considered, and well-constructed sentences that might otherwise take ten sentences.

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 Concise writing tends to be clear and easy to understand and it can be achieved by
adhering to a few key strategies highlighted in the following list:

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 Taken from Murray 2012, pp. 26, 137-138

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 5.2. Varying sentence length

Short sentences are clear and easy to read:

❑ Car scrappage schemes have been introduced in many countries.
But too many short sentences are monotonous:
❑ Car scrappage schemes have been introduced in many countries. They
offer a subsidy to buyers of new cars. The buyers must scrap an old
vehicle. The schemes are designed to stimulate the economy. They also
increase fuel efficiency.
Long sentences are more interesting but can be difficult to construct and
read:
❑ Car scrappage schemes, which offer a subsidy to buyers of new cars (who
must scrap an old vehicle) have been introduced in many countries; the
schemes are designed to stimulate the economy and also increase fuel
efficiency.
Effective writing normally uses a mixture of long and short sentences, often
using a short sentence to introduce the topic:
❑ Car scrappage schemes have been introduced in many countries. They offer
a subsidy to buyers of new cars who must scrap an old vehicle. The schemes
are designed to stimulate the economy and also increase fuel efficiency.
Taken from Bailey 2018, pp. 165-166

VI. OBJECTIVITY

Objectivity is the opposite of subjectivity. Objectivity has to do with being unbiased and
not being influenced by one’s own emotions or personal prejudices in presenting an
issue or issues. If you present a subjective argument, your readers will likely criticize it
as being biased, and based upon personal whims and emotions, not on facts and
evidence. Most scholars of academic writing discourage the use of first-person pronouns
(I or We) in presenting an argument to make the argument more objective. In whatever
the case, objectivity should be preferred to subjectivity in presenting the arguments of
your assignment.

When we say that you should observe objectivity in your argumentation, we direct you
to differentiate between the subjective topic and the objective issue you identify from
that topic. The topic you select is subjective because it has many issues in it. Each of the
issues can be objectively argued for. Therefore, by arguing for an issue identified from
the topic with strong evidence to justify the reasons for it, the issue becomes a fact, not
a mere opinion, feeling, or belief. Consider the following statement that can make your
argument non-objective (biased):

Five reasons why I believe obesity to be dangerous are . . .

In the above statement, the words I believe indicate a personal bias. They indicate that
the reasons for obesity being dangerous are based on just personal beliefs, feeling, or
opinions. In that case, statements like the one above attract criticism from your readers
for being biased and not based on facts. Instead, you would state it as follows:

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 Five reasons why obesity is considered dangerous are . . .

The passive voice is more common in academic writing than in other genres, making it
more impersonal and formal, but the passive should not be overused. It should be used
appropriately and in a balanced style.

6.1. Being Objective

When writing academically, your personal involvement with your topic mustn't
overshadow the importance of what you are commenting on or reporting. The main way
of demonstrating this lack of bias is by using impersonal language. This means:

❑ avoiding personal pronouns – try not to use the following words:

• I/me/one
• you (singular and plural)
• we/us

❑ using the passive rather than active voice – try to write about the
action and not about the actor (the person who performed the action)

You can use other strategies to maintain an impersonal style in your writing. For general
statements, you could use a structure such as ‘It is …’, ‘There is …’ to introduce
sentences. For more specific points relating to statements you have already made, you
could use the structures ‘This is …’ or ‘These are …’. With appropriate tense changes
according to the context. Don’t forget that when you use words like ‘it’, ‘this’, or ‘these’,
there should be no ambiguity over the word or phrase to which they refer. Clarity can
be achieved by introducing a defining word (noun), for example, ‘this explanation …’ or
‘these results …’

Another way in which you can maintain objectivity by writing impersonally is to change
the verb in the sentence to a noun and then reframe the sentence in a less personal
way.

Version B1: We applied pressure to the wound to stem the bleeding.

This version could become:

Version B2: The application of pressure-stemmed bleeding.

WRITING TIPS:
While your writing should appear objective and unemotional, this doesn’t mean you can’t
have your own view, only that your view should be seen to be well-informed and balanced.
In fact, having a view, finding your own voice, and demonstrating confidence is encouraged
at university, where it’s seen as an important part of your educational development.

Taken from Mligo 2017, p. 125; McMillan & Weyers 2013, pp. 88-89; Murray 2012, p. 66

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 6.2. Passive and Active

6.2.1. Active and Passive

The passive is used when the writer wants to focus on the result, not on the
cause or agent:
❑ Jupiter’s moons were discovered in 1610. (passive)
❑ Galileo discovered Jupiter’s moons in 1610. (active)

In the first sentence, the emphasis is on the moons, in the second on Galileo. So,
the passive is often used in written English when the cause or agent (a person
or thing) is less important or unknown.
❑ Aluminium was first produced in the nineteenth century. (by someone)
❑ The colony was abandoned in the 1630s. (for some unknown reason)

The cause of the action can be shown by adding ‘by. . .’:

❑ The city was flooded by a severe hurricane.

The passive is also used in written work to provide a more impersonal style:
❑ The findings were evaluated. (not ‘I evaluated the findings’)

6.2.2. Structure

All passive structures have two parts:

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 ❑ Change the following sentences into the passive to make them more impersonal.

a) We collected the data and compared the two groups.

b) I interviewed 120 people in three social classes.

c) They checked the results and found several errors.

d) We will make an analysis of the findings.

e) He asked four doctors to give their opinion.

f) She wrote the report and distributed ten copies.

6.2.3. Use of the Passive

The passive tends to be commonly employed in certain situations:

a) Describing a process

Urea can be made cheaply by mixing ammonia and carbon dioxide.

What causes this antibody to be produced is unclear.
Printed skin might eventually be employed for grafts.

b) Describing a piece of research

The results were adjusted to allow for the variation.

It was found that the smallest were the most effective.
The process was discovered in the 2000s.
One study was conducted in America and published in 2011.

In both of these situations, the use of the passive puts the emphasis on the action and
not on the people involved.

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 ❑ Change the following sentences from active to passive.

a) The researchers exposed the vaccines to temperatures below the limit.

b) Some historians believe that the Atacama desert was too dry for animal life.

c) Dr. Weber suggests that foreign competition can damage them.

d) They researched the life cycles of three main bee species.

e) She argued that prisons had a negative effect on the inmates.

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 6.2.4. Adverbs with Passives

Adverbs are frequently inserted into the passive structure to add information:

Emigration was largely banned until 1991.

The vaccine was accidentally frozen.

For further explanation and practice, see Exercise … (Bailey ‘the active & passive’, pp. 148 – 151)

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 6.3. Practice
Overuse of the passive can make a text seem very formal. A balanced style
mixes both active and passive.

❑ Read the following and change some of the passive forms into active ones.

Taken from Bailey p. 148-151

VII. SUMMARY

The importance of clarity and concision in writing is emphasized in this passage.

Being concise means expressing ideas succinctly and to the point, without reducing
the depth of discussion. Concise writing is clear and easy to understand, achieved
through several strategies.

Firstly, it is crucial to have a clear understanding of the ideas before putting them into
writing, avoiding waffly or ambiguous language. Using simpler language rather than
flowery or complex expressions enhances readability. Minimizing technical jargon,
avoiding redundancy, and checking for ambiguity further improve clarity.

Varying sentence length is another tool to enhance writing. Short sentences are clear
and easy to read, while long sentences can be more engaging but require careful
construction. Effective writing combines both short and long sentences, with short
sentences often used to introduce topics.

The goal is to communicate ideas effectively without overwhelming the reader.

Proofreading and seeking feedback from others can help ensure that the writing is
clear, concise, and easily understandable. By adhering to these principles, writers can
create well-structured, informative, and reader-friendly content.

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 VIII. KEYWORDS (vocabularies in use and collocation)
concise brief and to the use of language cutting things down
point
bare minimum make every word eloquent sentences well-considered
count sentences
well-constructed easy to understand adhere key strategies
sentences
Being economical Saying only what License to reduce Reducing your ideas
needs to be said your workload or discussion
objectivity subjectivity unbiased prejudice
issue subjective argument academic writing subjective topic
objective issue strong evidence justify fact
opinion feeling belief

IX. LET’S PRACTICE (Guided Practice and Timed Writing)

Exercise 1
❑ Rewrite the following paragraph so that instead of six short sentences there are
two long and two short sentences.
Worldwide, enrolments in higher education are increasing. In developed countries over half of all
young people enter college. Similar trends are seen in China and South America. This growth has
put financial strain on state university systems. Many countries are requiring students and parents
to contribute to the cost. This leads to a debate about whether students or society benefit from
tertiary education.

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 Exercise 2
❑ The following sentence is too long. Divide it into shorter ones.
China is one developing country (but not the only one) that has imposed fees on students since
1997, but the results have been surprising: enrolments, especially in the most expensive
universities, have continued to rise steeply, growing 200 percent overall between 1997 and 2011;
it seems in this case that higher fees attract rather than discourage students, who see them as a
sign of a good education and compete more fiercely for places, leading to the result that a place
at a good college can cost $8,000 per year for fees and maintenance. Until you feel confident in
your writing, it is better to use shorter rather than longer sentences. This should make your
meaning as clear as possible.

For practice, see Exercise ... (Bailey’s p. 166)

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 Further Practice

Simple and longer sentences

❑ Study the following table.

Dragon Motors – vehicle production 2013–17

All sentences contain verbs:

In 2013 the company produced over 135,000 vehicles.

Between 2013 and 2014 vehicle production increased by 20%.
Simple sentences (such as the examples just given) are easier to write and read, but longer
sentences are also needed in academic writing. However, students should make clarity a
priority and avoid writing very lengthy sentences with several clauses until they feel confident
in their ability.

Sentences containing two or more clauses use conjunctions, relative pronouns, or

punctuation to link the clauses:

• In 2013 Dragon Motors produced over 135,000 vehicles, but the following year production
increased by 20%. (conjunction)
• In 2015 the company built 164,820 vehicles, which was the peak of production. (relative
pronoun)
• Nearly 160,000 vehicles were produced in 2016; by 2017 this had fallen to 123,000. (punctuation–
semicolon)

❑ Write two simple and two longer sentences using data from the following table.

a)

b)

c)

d)

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 Taken from Bailey’s Simple and Longer Sentences p. 7-8

X. Post-Class Activities
Please visit E-LEARNING UMN for the post-knowledge of this module.

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