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 Description
HEALTH PROMOTION IN NURSING, 3E takes readers through a holistic
approach of health and wellness that examines healthy lifestyles from a biological,
psychological, social, and environmental perspective. Beginning with an overview
of health promotion concepts and nursing theories, the book then delves into issues
of nutrition, physical fitness, weight control, avoiding substance abuse, and pre-natal
care. The Third Edition also covers new issues relating to technology, as well as
wellness strategies that enable patients to maintain healthy lifestyles in the face of
grief or terminal illness. With content directed towards caring for communities and
groups, HEALTH PROMOTION IN NURSING, 3E is the resource that readers of
all nursing types and specialties can use for years to come.
Table of contents
Title
Statement
Copyright
Contents
Preface
Contributors
Reviewers
Section I: Conceptual Foundations and Theoretical Approaches
Ch 1: Health Promotion: Past, Present, and Future
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
Defining Health Promotion
Health Promotion: Past
SocioPolitical Influences for Health Promotion in the Twentieth Century
Government Initiatives for Health Promotion in the Twentieth Century
Health Care Cost Containment
Health Promotion : Where Is It Going?
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Bibliography
Ch 2: Nursing Concepts and Health Promotion
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
Professional Nursing Practice and Health Promotion
Nursing and Health Promotion in a Global Community
Nursing's Metaparadigm
Defining Nursing
Person, Environment, Health, and Nursing
Nursing
Nursing as a Profession
Nursing Educational Levels and Health Promotion
Integrating Health-Promotion Concepts into Nursing Practice
Theoretical Foundations
Organizing Nursing Theory
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Bibliography
Ch 3: Theoretical Foundations of Health Promotion
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
Clarifying Terms
Theoretical Foundations
Theories of Human Behavior and Health
Models for Groups, Organizations, and Communities
Health-Promotion Models
Developing a Health-Promotion Plan
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Ch 4: The Role of the Nurse in Health Promotion
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
Domains Fundamental to Nursing Practice in Health Promotion
Holistic Philosophy
Holistic Nursing Practice
Roles of the Nurse in Health Promotion
Overview of the Nursing Process
Nursing Process and Health Promotion for the Individual, Families, and
Communities
Risk Factors and Health Promotion
Current Factors Affecting Nursing Roles in Health Promotion
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Bibliography
Section II: Factors Influencing Health Promotion
Ch 5: Communication
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
Communication, Nursing, and Health Promotion
Types of Communication
Communication and the Therapeutic Relationship
Using Communication for Health Promotion
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Ch 6: Cultural Considerations
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
The Concept of Culture
Cultural Assessment
Cultural Competence in a Multicultural Society
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Ch 7: Environmental Factors
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
Problem Identification
The Body’s Response to Environmental Influences
Sources of Pollution Exposure
Environmental Disasters
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Bibliography
Ch 8: The Mind-Body-Spirit Connection
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
The Physiological Basis
The Role of Stress
Psychoneuroimmunology Research
Nursing Implications
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
Videos
Audiotapes and CDs
References
Bibliography
Section III: Promoting Health throughout the Life Cycle
Ch 9: Promoting Mother, Infant, and Toddler Health
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
The Mother
The Infant and Toddler
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Ch 10: The Child
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
The Preschool and School-Age Child
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Ch 11: The Adolescent and Young Adult
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
The Adolescent
The Young Adult
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Ch 12: The Middle-Aged Adult
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
Importance of Health Promotion in Middle Adulthood
Middle Adulthood: A Time of Planned Change
Culturally Competent Care
Guidelines for Health Promotion and Screening
Strategies for Achieving Lifestyles that Promote Health
Nursing Role in Health Promotion and Early Detection
Assessment of the Middle-Aged Adult
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Ch 13: The Older Adult
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
Demographic Characteristics of Older Adults
Developmental Domain
Biological Domain
Socioeconomic Domain
Psychological Domain
Spiritual Domain
Cultural Domain
Environmental Domain
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Ch 14: Health Promotion through End-of-Life
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
Health Promotion and the End-of-Life
End-of-Life Issues
Loss, Grief, Mourning, and Bereavement
Theories and Models of Grief
Palliative and Hospice Care
End-of-Life: The Good Death Concept
Death with Dignity: Promoting Wellness at the End-of-Life
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References/Resources
Bibliography
Section IV: Health-Promotion Strategies and Interventions
Ch 15: Embracing Proper Nutrition
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
Importance of Nutrition in Health Promotion
Domains Influencing Eating Behavior
Nutritional Excesses, Deficits, Fads, and Health Promotion
Dietary Strategies to Promote a Healthful Diet
The Nursing Process in Promoting Nutritional Health
Critical Analysis of Data
Nursing Diagnosis
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Bibliography
Ch 16: Engaging in Physical Fitness
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
Physical Fitness
Components of Health Related Fitness
Assessing Health-Related Fitness
Starting a Fitness Training Program: Making that Decision
General Principles of Fitness Training
Planning a Fitness Program
Principles and Concepts of Cardiovascular Fitness
A Balanced Fitness Program
Implementation of Fitness Program: Essential Elements of Training
Common Problems Related to Exercise
Rice Concept for Injury Treatment
Myths about Exercise
Health Belief and Health-Promotion Models
Utilizing the Nursing Process in Developing a Physical Fitness Plan
Getting Started and Sticking To It
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Bibliography
Ch 17: Controlling Weight
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
Consequences of Obesity
Health Promotion and Weight Control
Obstacles to Weight Control
Domains Influencing Obesity, Weight Control, and Eating Behaviors
Issues Related to Weight Control
The Nursing Process in Weight Control
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Bibliography
Ch 18: Avoiding Tobacco, Alcohol, and Substance Abuse
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
Substance Use and Abuse
What are Drugs?
Sources and Categories of Drugs
Drug Mechanics: How They Work
Drugs Misuse, Drug Abuse, and Addiction
Commonly Abused Psychotropic Drugs
Tobacco Use and Addiction
Alcohol Use and Addiction
Substance Abuse Patterns
Strategies for Health Promotion
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Bibliography
Ch 19: Enhancing Holistic Care
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
What is Holistic Care?
Holistic Nursing: Past, Present, and Future
The Nurse-Patient Relationship
Holistic Techniques for Health Promotion
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Bibliography
Section V: Health-Promotion Concerns
Ch 20: Concerns of the Health Professional
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
Change and its Impact on the Health Professional
Issues Impacting the Health Care Professional
Factors Affecting the Nursing Profession
Health Behavior Patterns
Health-Promotion Practices by Domain
Nursing Process and Health-Promotion Planning
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Bibliography
Ch 21: Economic and Quality Concerns
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
Factors Driving Costs Up
Efforts to Control Costs
Consumer Efforts in Cost Containment
Managed Care
Nursing’s Role in Managed Care
Quality Measures and Managed Care
National Standards and Managed Care
Health Promotion, Health Care Cost, and Managed Care
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Bibliography
Ch 22: Ethical, Legal, and Political Concerns
Key Terms
Objectives
Introduction
Ethical and Legal Issues Influencing Nursing Care
Ethical Issues
Ethical Theories
Basic Principles of Ethics
Nursing and Ethics
Ethical Decision Making and Personal Values
Legal Issues
Law and Nursing Practice
Competency Indicators
Torts, Negligence, and Breaches in Legal Duty
Right to Refuse Treatment
Student Nurse Liability
Ethical, Legal, and Political Concerns Related to Health Care Cost and Access
Ethical-Legal Concepts and Health Promotion
Nursing and Health Promotion
Summary
Key Concepts
Chapter Review
Organizations and Websites
References
Bibliography
Glossary
Index
Exploring the Variety of Random
Documents with Different Content
The Project Gutenberg eBook of 500 of the
Best Cockney War Stories
This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States
and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no
restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it
under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this
ebook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the
United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where
you are located before using this eBook.

Title: 500 of the Best Cockney War Stories

Author: Various

Contributor: Ian Hamilton

Illustrator: Bert Thomas

Release date: November 23, 2013 [eBook #44263]

Most recently updated: October 23, 2024

Language: English

Credits: Produced by Brian Coe, Moti Ben-Ari and the Online

Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
(This
book was created from images of public domain material
made available by the University of Toronto Libraries
(http://link.library.utoronto.ca/booksonline/).)

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 500 OF THE BEST

COCKNEY WAR STORIES ***
500 OF THE BEST COCKNEY WAR STORIES

REPRINTED FROM THE LONDON

Evening News
AND ILLUSTRATED BY
BERT THOMAS

WITH AN OPENING YARN BY

GENERAL
SIR IAN HAMILTON
G.C.B., G.C.M.G., D.S.O., etc.
Vice-President of the British Legion
President of the Metropolitan Area of the
British Legion

ASSOCIATED NEWSPAPERS LTD.

LONDON, E.C.4
 EDITOR'S FOREWORD
In the remembering, and in the retelling, of those war days when
laughter sometimes saved men's reason, Cockneys the world over
have left to posterity a record of noble and imperishable
achievement.
From the countless tales collected by the London Evening News
these five hundred, many of them illustrated by the great war-time
artist, Bert Thomas, have been chosen as a fitting climax and
perpetuation.
Sir Ian Hamilton's story of another war shows that, however much
methods of fighting may vary from generation to generation, there is
no break in continuity of a great tradition, that the spirits of laughter
and high adventure are immortal in the make-up of the British
soldier.
Sir Ian's story is doubly fitting. As President of the Metropolitan Area
of the British Legion he is intimately concerned with the after-war
welfare of just that Tommy Atkins who is immortalised in these
pages. In the second place, all profits from the sale of this book will
be devoted to the cause which the Higher Command in every branch
of the Services is fostering—the British Legion.
 CONTENTS
SIR IAN HAMILTON'S STORY
1. ACTION
2. LULL
3. HOSPITAL
4. HIGH SEAS
5. HERE AND THERE
 SIR IAN HAMILTON'S STORY
The Great War was a matrix wherein many anecdotes have
sprouted. They are short-lived plants—fragile as mushrooms—none
too easy to extricate either, embedded as they are in the mass.
To dig out the character of a General even from the plans of his
General Staff is difficult; how much more difficult to dig out the
adventures of Number 1000 Private Thomas Atkins from those of the
other 999 who went "like one man" with him over the top? In the
side-shows there was more scope for the individual and in the
Victorian wars much more scope. To show the sort of thing I mean I
am going to put down here for the first time an old story, almost
forgotten now, in the hopes that it may interest by its contrast to
barrages and barbed wire. Although only an old-fashioned affair of
half a dozen bullets and three or four dead men it was a great event
to me as it led to my first meeting with the great little Bobs of
Kandahar.
On the morning of September 11, 1879, I lay shivering with fever
and ague at Alikhel in Afghanistan. So sick did I seem that it was
decided I should be carried a day's march back to G.H.Q. on the
Peiwar Kotal to see if the air of that high mountain pass would help
me to pull myself round. Polly Forbes, a boy subaltern not very long
from Eton, was sent off to play the part of nurse.
We reached the Peiwar Kotal without any adventure, and were
allotted a tent in the G.H.Q. camp pitched where the road between
the Kurram Valley and Kabul ran over the high Kotal or pass. Next
morning, although still rather weak in the knees, I felt game for a
ride to the battlefield. So we rode along the high ridge through the
forest of giant deodars looking for mementoes of the battle. The fact
was that we were, although we knew it not, in a very dangerous No
Man's Land.
We had reached a point about two miles from camp when we were
startled by half a dozen shots fired in quick succession and still more
startled to see some British soldiers rushing down towards us from
the top of a steep-sided knoll which crowned the ridge to our
immediate front.
Close past us rushed those fugitives and on, down the hillside,
where at last, some hundred yards below us, they pulled up in
answer to our shouts. But no amount of shouts or orders would
bring them up to us, so we had to get off our ponies and go down to
them. There were seven of them—a Corporal and three men
belonging to one of the new short service battalions and three
signallers—very shaky the whole lot. Only one was armed with his
rifle; he had been on sentry-go at the moment the signalling picquet
had been rushed—so they said—by a large body of Afghans.
What was to be done? I realised that I was the senior. Turning to the
Corporal I asked him if he could ride. "Yes, sir," he replied rather
eagerly. "Well, then," I commanded, "you get on to that little white
mare up there and ride like hell to G.H.Q. for help. You others go up
with him and await orders." Off they went, scrambling up the hill,
Forbes and I following rather slowly because of my weakness. When
we got up to the path, ponies, syces, all had disappeared except
that one soldier who had stuck to his rifle.
All was as still as death in the forest where we three now stood
alone. "Where are the others?" I asked the man. "I think they must
be killed." "Do you think they are up there?" "Yessir!" So I turned to
Forbes and said, "If there are wounded or dead up there we must go
and see what we can do."
Where we stood we were a bit far away from the top of the wooded
hill for a jezail shot to carry and once we began to climb the slope
we found ourselves in dead ground. Nearing the top, my heart
jumped into my mouth as I all but put my foot on a man's face.
Though I dared not take my eyes off the brushwood on the top of
the hill, out of the corner of my eye I was aware he was a lascar and
that he must be dead, for his head had nearly been severed from his
body.
At that same moment we heard a feeble cry in Hindustani,
"Shabash, Sahib log, chello!" "Bravo, Gentlemen, come along!" This
came from another lascar shot through the body—a plucky fellow.
"Dushman kahan hain?"—"Where are the enemy?" I whispered.
"When the sahibs shouted from below they ran away," he said, and
at that, side by side with the revolvers raised to fire, Forbes and I
stepped out on to the cleared and levelled summit of the hill, a
space about fifteen feet by twenty.
All was quiet and seemed entirely normal. There stood the helio and
there lay the flags. Most astonishing of all, there, against a pile of
logs, rested the priceless rifles of the picquet guard with their
accoutrements and ammunition pouches lying on the ground beside
them. Making a sign to Forbes we laid down our revolvers ready to
hand, took, each of us, a rifle, loaded it, fixed the bayonet and stood
at the ready facing the edge of the forest about thirty yards away.
Even in these days when my memory is busy chucking its seventy
years or so of accumulations overboard, the memory of that tense
watch into the forest remains as fresh as ever. For the best part of
half an hour it must have lasted. At last we heard them—not the
Afghans but our own chaps, coming along the ridge and now they
were making their way in open order up the hill—a company of
British Infantry together with a few Pathan auxiliaries, the whole
under command of Captain Stratton of the 22nd Foot, head Signaller
to the Force.
In few words my story was told and at once bold Stratton
determined to pursue down the far side of the hill. Stratton had told
me to go back to camp, but I did not consider that an order and,
keeping on the extreme left of the line so that he should not see me,
I pushed along.
I noticed that the young soldier of the picquet who had stuck to his
rifle was still keeping by me as the long line advanced down the
slope, which gradually bifurcated into two distinct spurs. The further
we went the wider apart drew the spurs and the deeper became the
intervening nullah. Captain Stratton, Forbes, and the Regimental
Company commander were all on the other or eastern spur and the
men kept closing in towards them, until at last everyone, bar myself
and my one follower, had cleared off the western spur. I did not
want to cross the nullah, feeling too weak and tired to force my way
through the thick undergrowth. Soon we could no longer hear or see
the others.
Suddenly I heard Click! "Take cover!" I shouted and flung myself
behind a big stone. Sure enough, the moment often imagined had
come! Not more than twenty paces down the slope an old, white-
bearded, wicked-looking Enemy was aiming at me with his long
jezail from behind a fallen log. Click! again. Another misfire.
Now I was musketry instructor of my regiment, which had been the
best shooting regiment in India the previous year. My revolver was a
rotten little weapon, but I knew its tricks. As the Afghan fumbled
with his lock I took aim and began to squeeze the trigger. Another
instant and he would have been dead when bang! went a rifle
behind me; my helmet tilted over my eyes, my shot went where we
found it next day, about six feet up into a tree. The young soldier
had opened rapid fire just over my head.
At the same time, I saw another Afghan come crouching through the
brushwood below me towards a point where he would be able to
enfilade my stone. I shouted to my comrade, "I'm coming back to
you," and turned to make for his tree. Luck was with me. At that
very moment bang went the jezail and when we dug out the bullet
next morning and marked the line of fire, it became evident that had
I not so turned I would never have sat spinning this yarn.
That shot was a parting salute. There were shouts from the right of
the line, and as I was making for my tree the Afghans made off in
the other direction. I shouted to Stratton and his men to press down
to the foot of the hill, working round to the north so as to cut off the
raiders. Then, utterly exhausted, I began my crawl back to the
camp.
Soon after I had got in I was summoned into the presence of the
redoubtable Bobs. Although I had marched past him at Kohat this
was my first face-to-face meeting with one who was to play the part
of Providence to my career. He made me sit in a chair and at once
performed the almost incredible feat of putting me entirely at my
ease. This he did by pouring a golden liquid called sherry into a very
large wine-glass. Hardly had I swallowed this elixir when I told him
all about everything, which was exactly what he wanted.
A week later the Commander of the Cavalry Brigade, Redan Massy,
applied to Headquarters for an Aide-de-Camp. Sir Fred Roberts
advised him to take me. That billet led to unimaginable bliss.
Surrounding villages by moonlight, charging across the Logar Valley,
despising all foot sloggers—every sort of joy I had longed for. The
men of the picquet who had run away were tried by Court Martial
and got long sentences, alas—poor chaps! The old Mullah was sent
to his long account by Stratton.
But that is the point of most war stories; when anyone gets a lift up
it is by the misfortune or death of someone else.
Ian Hamilton.

COCKNEY WAR STORIES

 1. ACTION

The Outside Fare

During the third battle of Ypres a German field gun was trying to hit
one of our tanks, the fire being directed no doubt by an observation
balloon.
On the top of the tank was a Cockney infantryman getting a free
ride and seemingly quite unconcerned at Jerry's attempts to score a
direct hit on the tank.
 "Hi, conductor! Any room inside?—it's rainin'!"
As the tank was passing our guns a shrapnel shell burst just behind
it and above it.
We expected to see the Cockney passenger roll off dead. All he did,
however, was to put his hand to his mouth and shout to those inside
the tank: "Hi, conductor! Any room inside?—it's rainin'!"—A. H.
Boughton (ex "B" Battery, H.A.C.), 53 Dafforne Road, S.W.17.

"Barbed Wire's Dangerous!"

A wiring party in the Loos salient—twelve men just out from home.
Jerry's Verey lights were numerous, machine-guns were unpleasantly
busy, and there were all the dangers and alarms incidental to a
sticky part of the line. The wiring party, carrying stakes and wire,
made its way warily, and every man breathed apprehensively.
Suddenly one London lad tripped over a piece of old barbed wire
and almost fell his length.
"Lumme," he exclaimed, "that ain't 'arf dangerous!"—T. C. Farmer,
M.C., of Euston Square, London (late of "The Buffs").

Tale of an Egg
I was attached as a signaller to a platoon on duty in an advanced
post on the Ypres-Menin Road. We had two pigeons as an
emergency means of communication should our wire connection fail.
One afternoon Fritz put on a strafe which blew in the end of the
culvert in which we were stationed. We rescued the pigeon basket
from the debris and discovered that an egg had appeared.
That evening, when the time came to send in the usual evening
"situation report," I was given the following message to transmit:
"Pigeon laid one egg; otherwise situation normal."—D. Webster, 85
Highfield Avenue, N.W.11.

"No Earfkwikes"
On a bitterly cold, wet afternoon in February 1918 four privates and
a corporal were trying to take what shelter they could. One little
Cockney who had served in the Far East with the 10th Middlesex
was complaining about everything in general, but especially about
the idiocy of waging war in winter.
"Wot yer grumblin' at?" broke in the corporal, "you with yer fawncy
tyles of Inja? At any rate, there ain't no blinking moskeeters 'ere nor
'orrible malyria."
There was a break in the pleasantries as a big one came over. In the
subsequent explosion the little Cockney was fatally wounded.
"Corpril," the lad gasped, as he lay under that wintry sky, "you fergot
to menshun there ain't no bloomin' sun-stroke, nor no earfkwikes,
neither."
And he smiled—a delightful, whimsical smile—though the corporal's
"Sorry, son" was too late.—V. Meik, 107 King Henry's Road, N.W.3.

A "Bow Bells" Heroine

For seven hours, with little intermission, the German airmen bombed
a camp not a hundred miles from Etaples. Of the handful of
Q.M.A.A.C.s stationed there, one was an eighteen-year-old middle-
class girl, high-strung, sensitive, not long finished with her convent
school. Another was Kitty, a Cockney girl of twenty, by occupation a
machine-hand, by vocation (missed) a comédienne, and, by heaven,
a heroine.
The high courage of the younger girl was cracking under the strain
of that ordeal by bombs. Kitty saw how it was with her, and for five
long hours she gave a recital of song, dialogue, and dance—most of
it improvised—while the bombs fell and the anti-aircraft guns
screamed. In all probability she saved the younger girl's reason.
When the last raider had dropped the last bomb, Kitty sank down, all
but exhausted, and for long cried and laughed hysterically. Hers was
not the least heroic part played upon that night.—H. N., London, E.

Samson, but Shorn

During the German attack near Zillebeke in June 1916 a diminutive
Cockney, named Samson, oddly enough, received a scalp wound
from a shell splinter which furrowed a neat path through his hair.
The fighting was rather hot at the time, and this great-hearted little
Londoner carried on with the good work.
Some hours later came the order to fall back, and as the Cockney
was making his way down the remains of a trench, dazed and
staggering, a harassed sergeant, himself nearly "all in," ordered him
to bear off a couple of rifles and a box of ammunition.
This was the last straw. "Strike, sergeant," he said, weakly, "I can't
'elp me name being Samson, but I've just 'ad me perishin' 'air
cut!"—"Townie," R.A.F.

"What's Bred in the Bone——!"

When we were at Railway Wood, Ypres Salient, in 1916, "Muddy
Lane," our only communication trench from the front line to the
support line, had been reduced to shapelessness by innumerable
"heavies." Progress in either direction entailed exposure to snipers in
at least twelve different places, and runners and messengers were,
as our sergeant put it, "tickled all the way."
In the support line one afternoon, hearing the familiar "Crack! Crack!
Crack!" I went to Muddy Lane junction to await the advertised
visitor. He arrived—a wiry little Cockney Tommy, with his tin hat
dented in two places and blood trickling from a bullet graze on the
cheek.
In appreciation of the risk he had run I remarked, "Jerry seems to
be watching that bit!"
"Watching!" he replied. "'Struth! I felt like I was walking darn
Sarthend Pier naked!"—Vernon Sylvaine, late Somerset L.I., Grand
Theatre, Croydon.

A Very Human Concertina

In March 1918, when Jerry was making his last great attack, I was in
the neighbourhood of Petit Barisis when three enemy bombing
planes appeared overhead and gave us their load. After all was clear
I overheard this dialogue between two diminutive privates of the 7th
Battalion, the London Regiment ("Shiny Seventh"), who were on
guard duty at the Q.M. Stores:
"You all right, Bill?"
"Yes, George!"
"Where'd you get to, Bill, when he dropped his eggs?"
"Made a blooming concertina of meself and got underneaf me
blinkin' tin 'at!"—F. A. Newman, 8 Levett Gardens, Ilford, Ex-Q.M.S.,
8th London (Post Office Rifles).

A One-Man Army
The 47th London Division were holding the line in the Bluff sector,
near Ypres, early in 1917, and the 20th London Battalion were being
relieved on a very wet evening, as I was going up to the front line
with a working party.
Near Hell Fire Corner shells were coming over at about three-minute
intervals. One of the 20th London Lewis gunners was passing in full
fighting order, with fur coat, gum boots, etc., carrying his Lewis gun,
several drums of ammunition, and the inevitable rum jar.
One of my working party, a typical Cockney, surveyed him and said:
"Look! Blimey, he only wants a field gun under each arm and he'd be
a bally division."—Lieut.-Col. J. H. Langton, D.S.O.

"Nah, Mate! Soufend!"

During the heavy rains in the summer of 1917 our headquarters
dug-out got flooded. So a fatigue party was detailed to bale it out.
"Long Bert" Smith was one of our baling squad. Because of his
abnormal reach, he was stationed at the "crab-crawl," his job being
to throw the water outside as we handed the buckets up to him.
It was a dangerous post. Jerry was pasting the whole area
unmercifully and shell splinters pounded on the dug-out roof every
few seconds.
Twenty minutes after we had started work Bert got badly hit, and it
was some time before the stretcher-bearers could venture out to
him. When they did so he seemed to be unconscious.
"Poor blighter!" said one of the bearers. "Looks to be going West."
Bert, game to the last, opened his eyes and, seeing the canvas
bucket still convulsively clutched in his right fist, "Nah, mate!" he
grunted—"Soufend!"
But the stretcher-bearer was right.—C. Vanon, 33 Frederick Street,
W.C.I.

"I Got 'Ole Nelson Beat!"

Several stretcher cases in the field dressing station at the foot of
"Chocolate Hill," Gallipoli, awaited removal by ambulance, including a
Cockney trooper in the dismounted Yeomanry.
He had a bandage round his head, only one eye was visible, and his
left arm was bound to his breast with a sandbag.
His rapid-fire of Cockney witticisms had helped to keep our spirits up
while waiting—he had a comment for everything. Suddenly a "strafe"
started, and a shrapnel shell shot its load among us.
Confusion, shouts, and moans—then a half-hysterical, half-
triumphant shout from the Cockney: "Lumme, one in the blinkin' leg
this time. I got 'ole Nelson beat at last!"—J. Coomer (late R.E.), 31
Hawthorn Avenue, Thornton Heath.

Two Kinds of Fatalist

A German sniper was busy potting at our men in a front-line trench
at Cambrai in March 1918. A Cockney "old sweat," observing a
youngster gazing over the parapet, asked him if he were a fatalist.
The youngster replied "Yes."
"So am I," said the Cockney, "but I believes in duckin'."—"Brownie,"
Kensal Rise, N.W.10.

Double up, Beauty Chorus!

One summer afternoon in '15 some lads of the Rifle Brigade were
bathing in the lake in the grounds of the château at Elverdinghe, a
mile or so behind the line at Ypres, when German shells began to
land uncomfortably near. The swimmers immediately made for the
land, and, drawing only boots on their feet, dashed for the cellar in
the château.
As they hurried into the shelter a Cockney sergeant bellowed, "Nah
then, booty chorus: double up an' change for the next act!"—G E.
Roberts, M.C. (late Genl. List, att'd 21st Divn. Signal Co.), 28
Sunbury Gardens, Mill Hill, N.W.7.

The Theatre of War

During the battle of Arras, Easter 1917, we were lying out in front of
our wire in extended order waiting for our show to begin. Both our
artillery and that of Fritz were bombarding as hard as they could. It
was pouring with rain, and everybody was caked in mud.
Our platoon officer, finding he had a good supply of chocolate, and
realising that rations might not be forthcoming for some time, crept
along the line and gave us each a piece.
As he handed a packet to one cheerful Cockney he was asked, "Wot
abaht a programme, sir?"—W. B. Finch (late London Regiment), 155
High Road, Felixstowe.

"It's the Skivvy's 'Arf Day Orf"

Easter Monday, April 9, 1917. Night. Inches of snow and a weird
silence everywhere after the turmoil of the day. Our battalion is held
up in front of Monchy-le-Preux during the battle of Arras. I am sent
out with a patrol to reconnoitre one of our tanks that is crippled and
astride the German wire 300 yards out.

"I'll have to let yer in meself ... it's the skivvy's 'arf
day orf!"
It is ticklish work, because the crew may be dead or wounded and
Fritz in occupation. Very warily we creep around the battered
monster and presently I tap gingerly on one of the doors. No
response. We crawl to the other side and repeat the tapping
process. At last, through the eerie silence, comes a low, hoarse
challenge.
"Oo are yer?"
"Fusiliers!" I reply, as I look up and see a tousled head sticking
through a hole in the roof.
"Ho!" exclaims the voice above, "I'll 'ave ter come dahn and let yer
in meself, it's the skivvy's 'arf day orf!"
The speaker proved to have a shattered arm—among other things—
and was the sole survivor of the crew.—D. K., Fulham, S.W.6.

Cricket on the Somme

"Spider" Webb was a Cockney—from Stepney, I believe—who was
with us on the Somme in 1916. He was a splendid cricketer.
We had had a very stiff time for six or seven hours and were resting
during a lull in the firing. Then suddenly Jerry sent over five shells.
After a pause another shell came over and burst near to "Spider"
and his two pals.
When the smoke cleared I went across to see what had happened.
"Spider's" two pals were beyond help. The Cockney was propping
himself up with his elbows surveying the scene.
"What's happened, Webb?" I said. "Blimey! What's happened?" was
the reply. "One over—two bowled" (and, looking down at his leg)
—"and I'm stumped." Then he fainted.—George Franks, M.C. (late
Lieut., Royal Artillery), Ilford, Essex.

M'Lord, of Hoxton
We called him "M'lord." He came from Hoxton—"That's where they
make 'em," he used to say. He was a great asset to us, owing to the
wonderful way in which he went out and "won" things.