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Assertive Communication

The document discusses the differences between assertive, aggressive, and passive communication styles, highlighting that assertiveness is a balanced approach that respects both one's own needs and those of others. It outlines the characteristics of assertive communication, including clarity, consistency, and courtesy, as well as the benefits such as increased self-confidence and stronger relationships. Additionally, it provides examples of converting aggressive statements into assertive ones to promote effective communication.

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युवराज सिंह शेखावत
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2 views

Assertive Communication

The document discusses the differences between assertive, aggressive, and passive communication styles, highlighting that assertiveness is a balanced approach that respects both one's own needs and those of others. It outlines the characteristics of assertive communication, including clarity, consistency, and courtesy, as well as the benefits such as increased self-confidence and stronger relationships. Additionally, it provides examples of converting aggressive statements into assertive ones to promote effective communication.

Uploaded by

युवराज सिंह शेखावत
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Assertive Communication

Assertive vs. aggressive vs. passive


communication

 On the spectrum of communication styles, assertiveness lies between passive and


aggressive communication without falling into passive-aggressiveness.
 Aggressive communication occurs when a speaker is concerned with only their
perspective and personal goals rather than considering those of their listener.
Individuals who exhibit aggressive behavior are often focused on reaching their
goals immediately without considering possible long-term negative consequences.
While aggressive communicators might succeed in having their voices heard, they
also alienate those around them and negatively impact their own success in the
long haul.
 Passive communication occurs when an individual doesn’t voice their own
perspective, feelings, or needs and routinely conforms to the preferences of
others. Unlike aggressive communicators, passive communicators consider the
potential consequences of their communication style but end up sidelining
themselves for others. Research suggests that passive communicators might end up
feeling depressed, helpless, and tense as a result of their communication style.
Assertive communication definition

Assertiveness in communication is the ability to directly state your feelings and needs
in a respectful manner. An assertive communication style neither shrinks from
speaking up nor aggressively forces a perspective on someone else. Assertive
communication is directed by the three Cs of effective communication
 Be clear: you communicate in a straightforward way that directly states your
thoughts and feelings without dressing up your language.
 Be consistent: what you say today reflects what you said yesterday, rather than
changing daily without explanation.
 Be courteous: you respect your listener and communicate in a manner that
doesn’t pass judgment on them or presume ill-intention

 Examples of assertive behavior include saying “no”, refusing unreasonable


requests, asking another person to behave differently, communicating clearly how
an event or situation has made you feel (positive and negative), expressing an
opinion, or pursuing one’s personal goals.
Assertive communication
Assertive communication involves various verbal and nonverbal qualities:
 Direct eye contact shows that the speaker is strong and not intimidated.
 An assertive stance or posture with the right balance of strength and casualness.
For example, standing rigid may come across as aggressive; whereas, slouching
may be perceived as weak.
 Tone of voice. A strong voice conveys assertiveness, but raising one’s voice shows
aggression and is likely to be met with anger.
 Facial expression. Expressions that are neither angry nor anxious are essential
for sending the right message.
 Timing. Assertive communication must be executed at the right time
Assertive communication
Assertive communication involves various verbal and nonverbal qualities:
 Nonthreatening, non-blaming language. For example, language such as “If you
continue to do that, you will be sorry!” is threatening rather than assertive.
 Clarity. For example, “Can you please not be that way?” is vague, while “Can
you please not walk away when we’re talking?” more clearly conveys the
speaker’s needs.
 Positive language. For example, making a negative request (“Will you stop
leaving your papers all over the house?”) is less effective than a positive
request (“Here is a divider I’ve set up. Will you please place your papers
here?”).
 Language without criticism of one’s self or others. For example, phrases such
as “I know I’m overly sensitive, but could you please not use that word?” and
“Didn’t anyone ever teach you any manners?” are critical rather than
assertive.
Assertive communication

Key elements of assertive


 It is direct, firm, positive, and persistent.
 It promotes an equal balance of power.
 It acts in one’s own best interests.
 It involves standing up for oneself.
 It involves exercising personal rights.
 It does not involve denying the rights of others.
 It involves expressing needs and feelings honestly and comfortably

(9) How To Be Assertive: Assertive Communication & DBT Interpersonal


Effectiveness Skills - YouTube
Benefits of Assertive Communication
 An increased likelihood of finding positive solutions
 Greater self-confidence
 More respect for others’ opinions and viewpoints
 Greater self-control
 More effective communication skills
 Higher self-respect
 Increased ability to avoid interpersonal conflicts
 Reduced anxiety
 Reduced likelihood of being exploited or coerced
 An enhanced ability to control stress
 Reduced depression
 Stronger relationships
 Better health
Exercise
Convert these Aggressive sentences into Assertive sentences.

1. You better finish this project by 13th September else I will fire you.
2. How dare you take my book without my permission
3. Boss was getting mad at me because I came late
4. Your idea is foolish, think of a better one
5. Stop bothering me, I am doing something imp
6. Stop sending forwarded messages, I am not free like you.
7. Don’t you dare trouble me with your problems.
8. Keep your stuff in your area , don’t mess around my area.
Aggressive
Scenario Passive response Assertive response
response
“I’m really disappointed we
A friend shows up late to a missed the movie because I
“You are always late and
movie you really wanted to “It’s fine. I didn’t want to really wanted to see it. Next
never think about anyone
see, causing you both to see it that much anyway!” time, I’d like us to pick a
else but yourself!”
miss it. time that works better for
your schedule.”

“Pardon me, but I have been


waiting in line for a while
A person cuts ahead in a line “What’s wrong with you? I’ve
“Don’t worry about it!” and have to be someplace
you have been waiting in. got to be somewhere!”
soon. Would you mind
waiting your turn?”

“It frustrates me that I am


paying for dinner again
A friend expects you to pay
“I always have to pay for because I have been running
for dinner for the second “I’ve got it, don’t worry.”
you! All you ever do is take!” low on cash. Next time, I’d
time in a row.
appreciate it if you paid for
us.”

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