Scribd
Upload
15 views

10 & 11

The document is a poetic reflection on personal struggles, longing, and the passage of time, expressing feelings of loss, love, and the search for identity. It conveys a sense of vulnerability and the complexities of mental health, while also hinting at hope and growth. The imagery of nature and personal anecdotes intertwine to illustrate the emotional journey of the speaker.

Uploaded by

coltrainhaynes666
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
15 views

10 & 11

The document is a poetic reflection on personal struggles, longing, and the passage of time, expressing feelings of loss, love, and the search for identity. It conveys a sense of vulnerability and the complexities of mental health, while also hinting at hope and growth. The imagery of nature and personal anecdotes intertwine to illustrate the emotional journey of the speaker.

Uploaded by

coltrainhaynes666
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
You are on page 1/ 50

165 days you do get the itch

on your knuckles and cuts


its been one hundred and sixty itch scratch,
something days itch scratch
since ive seen my mother peel off until you feel blood

its been one hundred and sixty but i’ll be okay


something days when you come back
since ive seen my brother
and i’ll be okay
since i’ve last been around when i buy my favorite
ive fallen up and down stream pressure gas

i’ve cried and i’ll be okay


and even drowned what i stop having
in a pink brown seam my panic attacks

ive sat in limbo remember that one night?


called a himbo one of the best of my life
killed myself in the shower and i stayed in the bathroom
and changed my name i sat on the toilet
to everything under the sun and sobbed until
except jimbo my tears turned black

but it does get greater, later


as the wise poet says

you do gain a hater


with more favor
another wise poet says

you do fall in love


which feels up and down
up and down
up and down
up and down
but at least you’re in love
.f.

i often don’t want to see another magazine

i often surround
and crowd

myself

in the same place


where i found
and crowned

myself

now i just frown


now i’m often down

that i can’t make a magazine


like i used to

im not hearing the right sounds

though i have found a new ground


living in the town

though i have started to feel


confidence in my pounds

remember when i gave you a pound?


i felt so stupid and childish

but i think we’re light years from that place now


.ive been angry a lot .

you see this lot

with all the cars and


carts and hearts thrown
out on the ground?

see i’ve been going


though it
feeling my way through
this part i got a burn hole in my
and feeling my way favorite shirt
through that part and i have to take a
experiencing feelings picture
all around of every single church
it hurts when i burp
you see my glasses are and i spend a fair
scratched amount of time
i have a pain in my back being sad because i miss
there’s a hole in my you, her
teeth and my tongue
i bet you didn’t know when will all end?
that!
maybe it doesn’t
i have to shit right af- maybe if i wasn’t
ter i eat working to get myself
feels like i have a flesh to where i’ve always
eating disease wanted to be
and its spring time so i would have these very
even though issues you see
o try to use clean lines
all the new plants are i could be a fool
making fucking have to and simply just jest
sneeze but i must keep going
because i need to know
whats next
.SHOT BY ERYNN NOREZ.

December 19, 2020 at 11:54 PM


.what would be the end
goal of me being heard... like i want to be?
.SHOT BY ERYNN NOREZ.
.at some point it gets better.
and then it doesnt
i guess thats just what comes with the territory
of recieving the things i asked for
10s

.Ahmad will be okay


on his own
is exactly everyone thinks

exactly that’s just what


everyone thinks

.11x

.there’s a tree here.

a small soothing seedling,


baby birdy birch tree
sitting across
from me.

i keep a lot of things


on the mind each day. A lot
of which, i often
continue to let deeply hurt
and tear me apart. But,
you know who doesn’t? this
silly little sapling
spring tree.

it waits. its sits.


quiet, no thoughts. it just
sways when it’s supposed to.

it grows when it’s told


and goes when it gets too old.

is the living that the


I Am has intended for us
all? can i be like the tree?
.9t
i get tired of
waiting.

waiting for this for


that
waiting for what

waiting for ma
waiting for pa
waiting to blog
standing in wait for
gifts
feeling the weight
come and save me
i don’t believe in a
**£ anymore
and the feeling
trickles along the
holes in my teeth like
the warm blood of a
fresh lamb.
the feeling is
savory.
i lick my chops,
and i ask **£,
actually i cry out,
“when will the ache
stop!”
.7k
.iMUSSYOU
MY DEAR
FRIEND

HOW COME
YOU DONT
MISS ME
(did any of them miss
me)
.6b
i can cycle through
characters very fast!
which is fun
which is fun
which isn’t not fun
which is not
isn’t fun
not at all
(i forget who i am
i forgot who i was)
.5u

CAN I SHOW YOU


SOMETHING?

*proceeds to pull
open a gaping wound
in the center of his
chest which reveals
a dead hamster on an
old,
broken wheel
.4y

who comes who caresses


the angel who cries?

who lives in the hot


or cold?
it is i who decides who
lives, and it is i
who decides which one
of you dies
.3h

~reprise~

i don’t
don’t
didn’t want to feel
that
way before
and i didn’t like
didn’t love
don’t enjoy feeling
that
way now
why must mania be so
short lived?
.2n

.i often find myself


to be a person who
grew up. i grew up
from being a young
child obsessed with
sex and death. I grew
up to be an adult in
an affair with the
death of
religion. the only
thing that stayed the
same was how afraid
i’ve been all this
time. i often get
over the fear, and i
often _____ it once
again.
.1z

i had a dream

a dream where
i
held you closely and
boasted
how great
everything’s
been since i’ve found
you.

i hope to make it to
that hill, maybe i’ll
even get to die
there.

do you feel
the same?

You might also like