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PC Based Instrumentation and Control 3rd Edition Mike
Tooley Ba Digital Instant Download
Author(s): Mike Tooley BA; Advanced Technological and Higher National
Certificates Kingston University
ISBN(s): 9780750647168, 0750647167
Edition: 3
File Details: PDF, 12.50 MB
Year: 2005
Language: english
PC Based Instrumentation
and Control
This page intentionally left blank
PC Based Instrumentation
and Control

Mike Tooley

AMSTERDAM • BOSTON • HEIDELBERG • LONDON • OXFORD • NEW YORK

PARIS • SAN DIEGO • SAN FRANCISCO • SINGAPORE • SYDNEY • TOKYO
Elsevier Butterworth-Heinemann
Linacre House, Jordan Hill, Oxford OX2 8DP
30 Corporate Drive, Burlington, MA 01803

First published 2005

Copyright © 2005, Mike Tooley. All rights reserved

The right of Mike Tooley to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in
accordance with the Copyright, Design and Patents Act 1988

No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form (including

photocopying or storing in any medium by electronic means and whether or not transiently
or incidentally to some other use of this publication) without the written permission of
the copyright holder except in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright, Designs
and Patents Act 1988 or under the terms of a licence issued by the Copyright
Licensing Agency Ltd, 90 Tottenham Court Road, London, England W1T 4LP.
Applications for the copyright holder’s written permission to reproduce any part of
this publication should be addressed to the publisher

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

Library of Congress Cataloguing in Publication Data

A catalogue record for this book is available from the Library of Congress

ISBN 0 7506 4716 7

For information on all Elsevier Butterworth-Heinemann publications

visit our website at: www.books.elsevier.com

Typeset by Charon Tec Pvt. Ltd, Chennai, India

Printed and bound in Great Britain
 Contents

Preface xiii

1 The PC Microcomputer systems 3

Data representation 5
Bus expansion 6
Microprocessor operation 7
Data transfer and control 8
Parallel versus serial I/O 9
The processor 10
The x86 processor family 10
Addressing 13
80286, 80386, and 80486 processors 14
Interrupt handling 16
The Pentium family of processors 17
PC architecture 19
Cooling 24
Legacy support devices 24
Maths coprocessors 24
8237A Direct Memory Access Controller 27
8253 Programmable Interval Timer 27
8255A Programmable Peripheral Interface 29
8259A Programmable Interrupt Controller 29
8284A Clock generator 30
8288 Bus Controller 31
Chipsets 32
PC memory 34
Memory operation 35
Memory organization 36
Data integrity 37
Memory terminology 39
Memory size 42
Memory speed 43
CMOS memory 44
BIOS ROM 45
PC memory allocation 46
BIOS data area 46
Disk drives 53

2 PC expansion Expansion methods 57

bus systems Development of PC expansion bus architectures 57
vi Contents

PC ISA/EISA expansion bus 59

PC expansion cards 60
Industry Standard Architecture (ISA) bus 64
The 62-way ISA (PC expansion bus) connector 64
The 36-way EISA (PC-AT expansion bus) connector 67
Electrical characteristics 69
Design of PC expansion cards 71
The PC/104 bus 75
Peripheral Component Interconnect/Interface (PCI) bus 77
Accelerated Graphics Port (AGP) 81
The Universal Serial bus 81
USB applications and principal features 82
USB implementation 84
Connection and disconnection of USB devices 85
USB bus topology and physical connections 86
Error detection and handling 88
USB data transfers 88
USB devices 89
USB data flow model 90
USB physical interface 92
Representative I/O cards 95
Measurement Computing Corporation PDISO-8 95
Blue chip technology AIP-24 98
Measurement Computing Corporation Dual-422 99
Arcom APCI-ADADIO multifunction I/O card 101
The PMD-1208LS USB device 104

3 Using the command The need for an operating system 107

line interface Origins of DOS 108
DOS basics 110
Booting the system 110
I/O channels 110
DOS commands 111
File specifications 112
File extensions 113
Wildcard characters 113
Internal and external commands 114
Using batch files 128
Batch file commands 128
Creating batch files 129
Passing parameters 130
Using CONFIG.SYS 131
Using configuration files and device drivers 134
Using AUTOEXEC.BAT 135
Using DEBUG 136
Debug commands 137
A Debug walkthrough 142
Using Debug’s line assembler 146
 Contents vii

4 Programming Choice of language 151

Software development 154
Control structures 157
Loops 160
Error checking and input validation 161
Event-driven programs 161
Testing 162
Documentation 162
Presentation 165

5 Assembly language Advantages of assembly language 167

programming Disadvantages of assembly language 168
Developing assembly language programs 168
Software tools 169
8086 assembly language 176
8086 instruction set summary 176
8086 register model 178
Interrupt handling 181
MASM32 183
A MASM32 walkthrough 186

6 BASIC programming Microsoft BASIC for DOS 189

Developing Microsoft BASIC for DOS programs 191
Variable types 191
Variable names 191
BASIC command summary 192
Subroutines 196
Procedures 197
User-defined functions 198
Logical constructs 199
Prompts and messages 200
Keyboard entry 201
Single key inputs 201
Numerical inputs 206
String inputs 207
PowerBASIC for DOS 208
Accessing assembly language from within BASIC programs 209
Accessing the I/O ports in DOS or Windows 9x environments 211
Microsoft Visual Basic 213
PowerBASIC for Windows 214
Using dynamic link library (DLL) files 215
Accessing the I/O ports from the Windows Protected Mode
environment 215
Inpout32.dll 216
Data files 220

7 C and C++ programming C programming techniques 225

Include files 226
Streams 226
viii Contents

Using C functions 230

I/O functions 232
Messages 232
Loops 233
Inputs and prompts 236
Menu selection 238
Passing arguments into main 240
Disk files 243
Difference between C and C++ 244
Port I/O in C and C++ 246

8 The IEEE-488 bus IEEE-488 devices 250

Listeners 250
Talkers 250
Talkers and listeners 250
Controllers 250
IEEE-488 bus signals 251
Commands 252
Handshaking 252
Service requests 253
Multi-line commands 253
Bus configurations 255
IEEE-488 controllers 256
IEEE-488 software 257
Troubleshooting the IEEE-488 bus 260

9 Interfacing Characteristics of digital I/O ports 261

Characteristics of analogue I/O ports 262
Sensors 263
Interfacing switches and sensors 268
Sensors with digital outputs 270
Sensors with analogue outputs 285
Output devices 289
Status and warning indications 289
Driving LCD displays 290
Driving medium- and high-current loads 291
Audible outputs 292
DC motors 293
Output drivers 293
Driving mains connected loads 296
Driving solenoids and solenoid-operated valves 298
Driving stepper motors 299

10 Software packages Selecting a software package 301

Ease of use 301
Flexibility 302
Performance 303
Functionality 303
 Contents ix

Software classification 303

Custom-written software 304
Programming language extensions 305
Programmable applications 307
Dedicated applications 320
Tools and utilities 321
Operating system utilities 323

11 Virtual instruments Selecting a virtual instrument 325

Instrument types 325
Instrument connection options 326
Digital storage oscilloscopes 327
Sampling rate and bandwidth 329
Resolution and accuracy 330
Low-cost DSO 330
High-speed DSO 331
High-resolution DSO 332
Choosing a computer-based DSO 332
Basic operation of a DSO 333
Waveform display 336
Parameter measurement 336
Spectrum analysis 339
Sound card oscilloscopes 344
Windows Oscilloscope 2.51 345
Software Oscilloscope 347
Waveform display 348
Parameter measurement 350
Spectrum analysis 352

12 Applications Expansion cards 355

Approaches 356
PC instruments 356
Industrial PC systems 358
Backplane bus-based systems 358
Networked/distributed PC systems 359
Specifying hardware and software 360
Hardware design 361
Software design 361
Applications 362
Monitoring oscillator stability 362
Testing crystal filters 367
A speech enunciator 369
Strain measurement and display 374
Backup battery load test 377
Load sequencer 380
Environmental monitoring 386
Icing flow tunnel 389
x Contents

13 Reliability and Quality procedures 393

fault-finding Reliability and fault-tolerance 393
Hardware techniques 394
Software techniques 394
The Power On Self Test (POST) 395
System BIOS 395
BIOS upgrading 398
Troubleshooting Windows problems 401
Invalid page faults 401
General protection faults 402
Fatal exceptions 404
Protection errors 407
Kernel errors 408
Dynamic link library faults 410
Using Dr. Watson 410
Benchmarking and performance measurement 418
System information 418
Benchmarking 420
Processor Benchmark 421
CPU Multimedia Benchmark 421
Memory Benchmark 421
Hard disk Benchmark 422
CD Benchmark 422
Network Benchmark 422
Fault-finding and troubleshooting techniques 424
Test equipment 426
Multi-range meters 426
Logic probes 428
Logic pulsers 429
Oscilloscopes 432
Fault location procedure 433

Appendix A Glossary of 445

terms

Appendix B SI units Fundamental units 458

Selected derived units 458

Appendix C Multiples and 459

sub-multiples

Appendix D Decimal, 460

hexadecimal, binary and,
ASCII table

Appendix E Powers of 2 466

Appendix F Processor 467

sockets
 Contents xi

Appendix G Processor data 468

Appendix H Common file 470

extensions

Appendix I BIOS error codes IBM BIOS 472

AMI BIOS 472
Award BIOS 472
Phoenix BIOS 473

Appendix J Manufacturers, Expansion systems, embedded controllers, DAQ, and industrial

suppliers and distributors control systems 474
Motherboards, memories, processors, drives, and accessories 476
Data communication products and accessories 477
Memory devices 477
Electronic components and test equipment 478
Computer supplies 478
Software 478

Appendix K Useful websites 480

Appendix L Bibliography Interfacing 481

Electronic circuits 481
PC hardware 481
Programming 481

Appendix M Reference 482

material available from
the Web

Index 485
This page intentionally left blank
Preface

Ask any production engineer, control or instrumentation specialist to define

his objectives and his reply will probably include increasing efficiency without
compromising on quality or reliability. Ask him what his most pressing prob-
lems are and lack of suitably trained personnel will almost certainly be high
on the list. Happily, both of these perennial problems can be solved with the
aid of a PC (or PC-compatible) acting as an intelligent controller. All that is
required is sufficient peripheral hardware and the necessary software to provide
an interface with the production/test environment.
As an example, consider the procedure used for testing and calibrating an
item of electronic equipment. Traditional methods involve the use of a num-
ber of items of stand-alone test equipment (each with its own peculiarities and
set-up requirements). A number of adjustments may then be required and each
will require judgment and expertise on the part of the calibration technician or
test engineer. The process is thus not only time consuming but also demands the
attention of experienced personnel. Furthermore, in today’s calibration labora-
tory and production test environment, the need is for a cluster of test equipment
rather than for a number of stand-alone instruments. Such an arrangement is an
ideal candidate for computer control.
The computer (an ordinary PC or PC-compatible) controls each item of exter-
nal instrumentation and automates the test and calibration procedure, increasing
throughput, consistency, and reliability, freeing the test engineer for higher
level tasks. A PC-based arrangement thus provides a flexible and highly cost-
effective alternative to traditional methods. Furthermore, systems can be easily
configured to cope with the changing requirements of the user.
In general, PC-based instrumentation and control systems offer the following
advantages:
• Flexible and adaptable: the system can be easily extended or reconfigured
for a different application.
• The technology of the PC; is well known and understood, and most companies
already have such equipment installed in a variety of locations.
• Low-cost PC-based systems can be put together at a faction of the cost
associated with dedicated controllers.
• Rugged embedded PC controllers are available for use in more demanding
applications. Such systems can be configured for a wide range of instrumen-
tation and control applications with the added advantage that they use the
same familiar operating system environment and programming software that
runs on a conventional PC.
• Availability of an extensive range of PC-compatible expansion cards from
an increasingly wide range of suppliers.
• Ability to interface with standard bus systems (including the immensely
popular IEEE-488 General Purpose Instrument Bus).
xiv PC Based Instrumentation and Control

• Support for a variety of popular network and asynchronous data commu-

nications standards (allowing PC-based systems to become fully integrated
within larger manufacturing and process control systems).
• Internationally accepted standards, including ISA, PCI, PC/104, and USB
bus systems.
Typical applications for PC-based instrumentation and control systems
include:
• Data acquisition and data logging.
• Automatic component and QA acceptance testing.
• Signal monitoring.
• Production monitoring and control.
• Environmental control.
• Access control.
• Security and alarm systems.
• Control of test and calibration clusters.
• Process control systems.
• Factory automation systems.
• Automated monitoring and performance measurement.
• Simple machine-vision systems.
• Small-scale production management systems.
• A ‘virtual’ replacement for conventional laboratory test equipment.

Aims The book aims to provide readers with sufficient information to be able to select
the necessary hardware and software to implement a wide range of practical
PC-based instrumentation and control systems. Wherever possible the book
contains examples of practical configurations and working circuits (all of which
have been rigorously tested). Representative software is also included in a var-
iety of languages including x86 assembly language, BASIC, Visual BASIC,
C, and C++. In addition, a number of popular software packages for control,
instrumentation and data analysis have been described in some detail.
Information has been included so that circuits and software routines can
be readily modified and extended by readers to meet their own particular
needs. Overall, the aim has been that of providing the reader with sufficient
information so that he or she can solve a wide variety of control and instrumen-
tation problems in the shortest possible time and without recourse to any other
texts.

Readership This book is aimed primarily at the professional control and instrumentation
specialist. It does not assume any previous knowledge of microprocessors or
microcomputer systems and thus should appeal to a wide audience (including
mechanical and production engineers looking for new solutions to control and
instrumentation problems). The book is also ideal for students at undergradu-
ate and post-graduate level who need a ‘source book’ of practical ideas and
solutions.
Chapter 1 This chapter provides an introduction to microcomputer systems
and the IBM PC compatible equipment. The Intel range of microprocessors is
introduced as the ‘legacy’ chipsets and VLSI support devices found in the
generic PC.
 Preface xv

Chapter 2 This chapter describes various expansion systems which can be

used to extend the I/O capability of the PC. These systems include the original
Industry Standard Architecture 8- and 16-bit PC expansion bus, the Peripheral
Component Interconnect (PCI), and the PC/104 architecture. Representative
expansion cards and bus configurations are discussed in some detail. The chapter
concludes with a detailed examination of the Universal Serial Bus (USB).
Chapter 3 This chapter is devoted to the facilities offered by the PC’s oper-
ating system whether it be a basic DOS-based system or one operating under
Windows 9x, NT, or XP. Each of the most popular MS-DOS commands is
described and details are provided which should assist readers in creating batch
files (which can be important in unattended systems which must be capable of
initializing themselves and automatically executing an appropriate control pro-
gram in the event of power failure) as well as executing and debugging programs
using the MS-DOS debugger, DEBUG. The chapter also describes the facilities
offered by the Windows operating system as a platform for the development
and execution of control, instrumentation and data acquisition software.
Chapter 4 Programming techniques are introduced in this chapter. This
chapter is intended for those who may be developing programs for their own
specialized applications and for whom no ‘off-the-shelf-’ software is available.
The virtues of- modular and structured programming are stressed and vari-
ous control structures are discussed in some detail. Some useful pointers are
included for those who need to select a language for control, instrumentation
and data acquisition applications.
Chapter 5 This chapter deals with assembly language programming. The
x86 instruction set is briefly explained and several representative assembly lan-
guage routines written using the original Microsoft Macro Assembler (MASM)
and its 32-bit reincarnation (MASM32) are included.
Chapter 6 The BASIC programming language is introduced in this chapter.
Generic BASIC programming techniques and control structures are introduced,
and sample routines are provided in QBASIC, PowerBASIC, and the ever-
popular MS Visual BASIC.
Chapter 7 This chapter is devoted to C and C++ programming. As with
the two preceding chapters, this chapter aims to provide readers with a brief
introduction to programming techniques and numerous examples are included
taken from applications within the general field of control, instrumentation, and
data acquisition.
Chapter 8 The ever-popular IEEE-488 instrument bus is introduced in this
chapter. A representative PC adapter card is described which allows a PC to be
used as an IEEE-488 bus controller.
Chapter 9 This chapter deals with the general principles of interfacing ana-
logue and digital signals to PC expansion bus modules, analogue-to-digital and
digital-to-analogue conversion. A variety of sensors, transducers, and practical
interface circuits have been included.
Chapter 10 Virtual instruments can provide a flexible low-cost alternative
to the need to have a variety of dedicated test instruments available. This chapter
provides an introduction to virtual test instruments and describes, in detail, the
use of a high-performance digital storage oscilloscope.
Chapter 11 Commercial software packages are frequently used in industry
to deal with specific data acquisition and instrumentation requirements. This
chapter provides details of several of the most popular packages and has been
xvi PC Based Instrumentation and Control

designed to assist the newcomer in the selection of a package which will satisfy
his or her needs.
Chapter 12 The general procedure for selection and specification of system
hardware and software is described in this chapter. Eight practical applications
of PC-based data acquisition, instrumentation, and control are described in
detail complete with specifications, circuit diagrams, screen shots and code
where appropriate.
Chapter 13 This chapter deals with reliability and fault tolerance. Basic
quality procedures are described together with diagnostic and benchmarking
software, and detailed fault-location charts.
A glossary is included in Appendix A while Appendices B and C deal with
fundamental SI units, multiples, and sub-multiples. A binary, hexadecimal,
and ASCII conversion table appears in Appendix D. A further nine appen-
dices provide additional reference information including an extensive list of
manufacturers, suppliers and distributors, useful web sites and a bibliography.
The third edition includes:
• Updated information on PC hardware and bus systems (including PCI,
PC/104 and USB).
• A new chapter on PC instruments complete with examples of measurement
and data logging applications.
• An introduction to software development in a modern 32-bit environment
with the latest software tools that make it possible for applications running
in a Windows NT or Windows XP environment to access system I/O.
• New sections on MASM32, C++, and Visual BASIC including examples
of the use of visual programming languages and integrated development
environments (IDE) for BASIC, assembly language and Visual Studio
applications.
• New sections on LabVIEW, DASYLab, Matlab with an updated section on
DADiSP.
• An expanded chapter with eight diverse PC applications described in detail.
• A revised and expanded chapter on reliability and fault-finding including
detailed fault-location charts, diagnostic and benchmarking software.
• Considerably extended and updated reference information.
• A companion web site with downloadable executables, source code, links to
manufacturers and suppliers, and additional reference material.
Companion website The companion website, www.key2control.com, has a variety of additional
resources including downloadable source code and executable programs. A visit
to the site is highly recommended!
This book is the end result of several thousand hours of research and devel-
opment and I should like to extend my thanks and gratitude to all those, too
numerous to mention, who have helped and assisted in its production. May it
now be of benefit to many!

Mike Tooley
1 The PC

Ever since IBM entered the personal computer scene, it was clear that its ‘PC’
(first announced in 1981) would gain an immense following. In a specification
that now seems totally inadequate, the original PC had an 8088 processor, 64–
256 kilobyte (KB) of system board RAM (expandable to 640 KB with 384 KB
fitted in expansion slots). It supported two 360 KB floppy disk drives, an 80
columns × 25 lines display, and 16 colours with an IBM colour graphics adapter.
The original PC was quickly followed by the PC-XT. This machine, an
improved PC, with a single 5¼ in. 360 KB floppy disk drive and a 10 megabyte
(MB) hard disk, was introduced in 1983. In 1984, the PC-XT was followed
by a yet further enhanced machine, the PC-AT (where XT and AT stood for
eXtended and Advanced Technology, respectively). The PC-AT used an 80286
microprocessor and catered for a 5¼ in. 1.2 MB floppy drive together with a
20 MB hard disk.
While IBM were blazing a trail, many other manufacturers were close behind.
The standards set by IBM attracted much interest from other manufacturers,
notable among whom were Compaq and Olivetti. These companies were not
merely content to produce machines with an identical specification but went on
to make further significant improvements. Other manufacturers were happy to
simply ‘clone’ the PC; indeed, one could be excused for thinking that the highest

Photo 1.1 Setting up a PC requires access to both hardware and software

Table 1.1 Typical PC specifications from 1981 to the present day
Approximate
year of Parallel Serial
Standard introduction Processor RAM Cache Floppy disk Hard disk Graphics port(s) port(s) Clock speed Bus

PC 1981 8088 16–256 KB Nil 1 or 2 5¼ in. None Text or 1 or 2 1 or 2 8 MHz ISA

360 KB CGA
XT 1982 8088 or 640 KB Nil 1 or 2 5¼ in. 10 MB Text or 1 or 2 1 or 2 8 or ISA
80286 360 KB CGA 10 MHz
AT 1984 80286 1 MB Nil 1 5¼ in. 20 MB Text, CGA, 1 or 2 1 or 2 12 or EISA
1.2 MB or EGA 16 MHz
386SX 1986 80386SX 1–8 MB 64 KB 1 3½ in. 80 MB Text, VGA, 1 or 2 1 or 2 16 or EISA
based 1.44 MB or SVGA 20 MHz
386DX 1986 80386DX 1–16 MB 128 KB 1 3½ in. 120 MB Text, VGA, 1 or 2 1 or 2 25 or EISA
based 1.44 MB or SVGA 33 MHz
486SX 1991 80486SX 4–16 MB 256 KB 1 3½ In. 230 MB Text, VGA, 1 or 2 1 or 2 25 or ISA
based 1.44 MB or SVGA 33 MHz and VL
486DX 1991 80486DX 4–64 MB 256 KB 1 3½ in. 340 MB Text, VGA, 1 or 2 1 or 2 33, 50, or ISA
based 1.44 MB or SVGA 66 MHz and VL
PS/2 80286 or 1–16 MB Nil 1 3½ in. 44, 70, or Text, EGA, 1 or 2 1 or 2 8, 10, 16, MCA
80386 1.44 MB 117 MB or VGA or 20 MHz
PS/1 1986 80286 or 1–16 MB Nil 1 3½ in. 85 or Text, VGA, 1 or 2 1 or 2 8, 10, 16, MCA
80386 1.44 MB 130 MB or SVGA or 20 MHz
Early 1993 Pentium 8–64 MB 512 KB 1 3½ in. 640 MB Text, VGA, 1 or 2 1 or 2 66 or EISA
Pentium 1.44 MB or 1.2 GB or SVGA 133 MHz and VL
Current 2004 Pentium 4, 256 MB 512 KB 1 3½ in. 60, 80, or Text, VGA, 1 or 2 1 or 2 2.1, 2.8, PCI
Celeron, to 1 GB 1.44 MB 120 GB SVGA, or or 3.2 GHz and USB
Athlon, etc. XGA
 The PC 3

Photo 1.2 A modern high-specification dual-BIOS PC motherboard

accolade that could be offered by the computer press was that a machine was
‘IBM compatible’.
This chapter sets out to introduce the PC and provide an insight into the
architecture, construction, and operation of a ‘generic PC’. It should, perhaps,
be stated that the term ‘PC’ now applies to such a wide range of equipment that
it is difficult to pin down the essential ingredients of such a machine. However,
at the risk of oversimplifying matters, a ‘PC’ need only satisfy two essential
criteria:
• Be based upon an Intel 16-, 32-, or 64-bit processor, such as a ’x86, Pentium,
or a compatible device (such as a Celeron, Athlon, or Duron processor).
• Be able to support the Microsoft MS-DOS operating system, Microsoft
Windows, or a compatible operating system.
Other factors, such as available memory size, disk capacity, and display
technology remain secondary.
To illustrate the progress in technology over the last 20 or so years, Table
1.1 shows typical specifications for various types of PC. However, before con-
sidering PC architecture in more detail, we shall begin by briefly describing the
basic elements of a microcomputer system.

Microcomputer The principal elements within a microcomputer system consist of a central

systems processing unit (CPU), read/write memory (RAM), read-only memory (ROM),
together with one (or more) input/output (I/O) devices. These elements are
Other documents randomly have
different content
sill which pointed to somebody having got in that way. There were
no ladder marks or footmarks in the yard; the yard was paved with
asphalt. He had examined the roof, but found nothing on the roof. In
his opinion the body had been brought into the flat previously and
concealed till the evening by someone who had then gone out
during the night by the bathroom window, with the connivance of
the girl. In that case, why should not the girl have let the person out
by the door? Well, it might have been so. Had he found traces of a
body or a man or both having been hidden in the flat? He found
nothing to show that they might not have been so concealed. What
was the evidence that led him to suppose that the death had
occurred that night?

At this point Inspector Sugg appeared uneasy, and endeavoured

to retire upon his professional dignity. On being pressed, however,
he admitted that the evidence in question had come to nothing.

One of the jurors: Was it the case that any finger-marks had
been left by the criminal?

Some marks had been found on the bath, but the criminal had
worn gloves.

The Coroner: Do you draw any conclusion from this fact as to

the experience of the criminal?

Inspector Sugg: Looks as if he was an old hand, sir.

The Juror: Is that very consistent with the charge against Alfred
Thipps, Inspector?

The Inspector was silent.

The Coroner: In the light of the evidence which you have just
heard, do you still press the charge against Alfred Thipps and Gladys
Horrocks?
 Inspector Sugg: I consider the whole set-out highly suspicious.
Thipps’s story isn’t corroborated, and as for the girl Horrocks, how
do we know this Williams ain’t in it as well?

William Williams: Now, you drop that. I can bring a ’undred

witnesses—

The Coroner: Silence, if you please. I am surprised, Inspector,

that you should make this suggestion in that manner. It is highly
improper. By the way, can you tell us whether a police raid was
actually carried out on the Monday night on any Night Club in the
neighbourhood of St. Giles’s Circus?

Inspector Sugg (sulkily): I believe there was something of the

sort.

The Coroner: You will, no doubt, inquire into the matter. I seem
to recollect having seen some mention of it in the newspapers.
Thank you, Inspector, that will do.

Several witnesses having appeared and testified to the

characters of Mr. Thipps and Gladys Horrocks, the Coroner stated his
intention of proceeding to the medical evidence.

“Sir Julian Freke.”

There was considerable stir in the court as the great specialist

walked up to give evidence. He was not only a distinguished man,
but a striking figure, with his wide shoulders, upright carriage and
leonine head. His manner as he kissed the Book presented to him
with the usual deprecatory mumble by the Coroner’s officer, was that
of a St. Paul condescending to humour the timid mumbo-jumbo of
superstitious Corinthians.

“So handsome, I always think,” whispered the Duchess to Mr.

Parker; “just exactly like William Morris, with that bush of hair and
beard and those exciting eyes looking out of it—so splendid, these
dear men always devoted to something or other—not but what I
think socialism is a mistake—of course it works with all those nice
people, so good and happy in art linen and the weather always
perfect—Morris, I mean, you know—but so difficult in real life.
Science is different—I’m sure if I had nerves I should go to Sir Julian
just to look at him—eyes like that give one something to think
about, and that’s what most of these people want, only I never had
any—nerves, I mean. Don’t you think so?”

“You are Sir Julian Freke,” said the Coroner, “and live at St.
Luke’s House, Prince of Wales Road, Battersea, where you exercise a
general direction over the surgical side of St. Luke’s Hospital?”

Sir Julian assented briefly to this definition of his personality.

“You were the first medical man to see the deceased?”

“I was.”

“And you have since conducted an examination in collaboration

with Dr. Grimbold of Scotland Yard?”

“I have.”

“You are in agreement as to the cause of death?”

“Generally speaking, yes.”

“Will you communicate your impressions to the Jury?”

“I was engaged in research work in the dissecting room at St.

Luke’s Hospital at about nine o’clock on Monday morning, when I
was informed that Inspector Sugg wished to see me. He told me
that the dead body of a man had been discovered under mysterious
circumstances at 59 Queen Caroline Mansions. He asked me whether
it could be supposed to be a joke perpetrated by any of the medical
students at the hospital. I was able to assure him, by an
examination of the hospital’s books, that there was no subject
missing from the dissecting room.”

“Who would be in charge of such bodies?”

“William Watts, the dissecting-room attendant.”

“Is William Watts present?” inquired the Coroner of the officer.

William Watts was present, and could be called if the Coroner

thought it necessary.

“I suppose no dead body would be delivered to the hospital

without your knowledge, Sir Julian?”

“Certainly not.”

“Thank you. Will you proceed with your statement?”

“Inspector Sugg then asked me whether I would send a medical

man round to view the body. I said that I would go myself.”

“Why did you do that?”

“I confess to my share of ordinary human curiosity, Mr. Coroner.”

Laughter from a medical student at the back of the room.

“On arriving at the flat I found the deceased lying on his back in
the bath. I examined him, and came to the conclusion that death
had been caused by a blow on the back of the neck, dislocating the
fourth and fifth cervical vertebrae, bruising the spinal cord and
producing internal haemorrhage and partial paralysis of the brain. I
judged the deceased to have been dead at least twelve hours,
possibly more. I observed no other sign of violence of any kind upon
the body. Deceased was a strong, well-nourished man of about fifty
to fifty-five years of age.”
 “In your opinion, could the blow have been self-inflicted?”

“Certainly not. It had been made with a heavy, blunt instrument

from behind, with great force and considerable judgment. It is quite
impossible that it was self-inflicted.”

“Could it have been the result of an accident?”

“That is possible, of course.”

“If, for example, the deceased had been looking out of the
window, and the sash had shut violently down upon him?”

“No; in that case there would have been signs of strangulation

and a bruise upon the throat as well.”

“But deceased might have been killed through a heavy weight

accidentally falling upon him?”

“He might.”

“Was death instantaneous, in your opinion?”

“It is difficult to say. Such a blow might very well cause death
instantaneously, or the patient might linger in a partially paralyzed
condition for some time. In the present case I should be disposed to
think that deceased might have lingered for some hours. I base my
decision upon the condition of the brain revealed at the autopsy. I
may say, however, that Dr. Grimbold and I are not in complete
agreement on the point.”

“I understand that a suggestion has been made as to the

identification of the deceased. You are not in a position to identify
him?”

“Certainly not. I never saw him before. The suggestion to which

you refer is a preposterous one, and ought never to have been
made. I was not aware until this morning that it had been made;
had it been made to me earlier, I should have known how to deal
with it, and I should like to express my strong disapproval of the
unnecessary shock and distress inflicted upon a lady with whom I
have the honour to be acquainted.”

The Coroner: It was not my fault, Sir Julian; I had nothing to do

with it; I agree with you that it was unfortunate you were not
consulted.

The reporters scribbled busily, and the court asked each other
what was meant, while the jury tried to look as if they knew already.

“In the matter of the eyeglasses found upon the body, Sir Julian.
Do these give any indication to a medical man?”

“They are somewhat unusual lenses; an oculist would be able to

speak more definitely, but I will say for myself that I should have
expected them to belong to an older man than the deceased.”

“Speaking as a physician, who has had many opportunities of

observing the human body, did you gather anything from the
appearance of the deceased as to his personal habits?”

“I should say that he was a man in easy circumstances, but who

had only recently come into money. His teeth are in a bad state, and
his hands shows signs of recent manual labour.”

“An Australian colonist, for instance, who had made money?”

“Something of that sort; of course, I could not say positively.”

“Of course not. Thank you, Sir Julian.”

Dr. Grimbold, called, corroborated his distinguished colleague in

every particular, except that, in his opinion, death had not occurred
for several days after the blow. It was with the greatest hesitancy
that he ventured to differ from Sir Julian Freke, and he might be
wrong. It was difficult to tell in any case, and when he saw the body,
deceased had been dead at least twenty-four hours, in his opinion.

Inspector Sugg, recalled. Would he tell the jury what steps had
been taken to identify the deceased?

A description had been sent to every police station and had been
inserted in all the newspapers. In view of the suggestion made by
Sir Julian Freke, had inquiries been made at all the seaports? They
had. And with no results? With no results at all. No one had come
forward to identify the body? Plenty of people had come forward;
but nobody had succeeded in identifying it. Had any effort been
made to follow up the clue afforded by the eyeglasses? Inspector
Sugg submitted that, having regard to the interests of justice, he
would beg to be excused from answering that question. Might the
jury see the eyeglasses? The eyeglasses were handed to the jury.

William Watts, called, confirmed the evidence of Sir Julian Freke

with regard to dissecting-room subjects. He explained the system by
which they were entered. They usually were supplied by the
workhouses and free hospitals. They were under his sole charge.
The young gentlemen could not possibly get the keys. Had Sir Julian
Freke, or any of the house surgeons, the keys? No, not even Sir
Julian Freke. The keys had remained in his possession on Monday
night? They had. And, in any case, the inquiry was irrelevant, as
there was no body missing, nor ever had been? That was the case.

The Coroner then addressed the jury, reminding them with some
asperity that they were not there to gossip about who the deceased
could or could not have been, but to give their opinion as to the
cause of death. He reminded them that they should consider
whether, according to the medical evidence, death could have been
accidental or self-inflicted, or whether it was deliberate murder, or
homicide. If they considered the evidence on this point insufficient,
they could return an open verdict. In any case, their verdict could
not prejudice any person; if they brought it in “murder,” all the whole
evidence would have to be gone through again before the
magistrate. He then dismissed them, with the unspoken adjuration
to be quick about it.

Sir Julian Freke, after giving his evidence, had caught the eye of
the Duchess, and now came over and greeted her.

“I haven’t seen you for an age,” said that lady. “How are you?”

“Hard at work,” said the specialist. “Just got my new book out.
This kind of thing wastes time. Have you seen Lady Levy yet?”

“No, poor dear,” said the Duchess. “I only came up this morning,
for this. Mrs. Thipps is staying with me—one of Peter’s eccentricities,
you know. Poor Christine! I must run round and see her. This is Mr.
Parker,” she added, “who is investigating that case.”

“Oh,” said Sir Julian, and paused. “Do you know,” he said in a
low voice to Parker, “I am very glad to meet you. Have you seen
Lady Levy yet?”

“I saw her this morning.”

“Did she ask you to go on with the inquiry?”

“Yes,” said Parker; “she thinks,” he added, “that Sir Reuben may
be detained in the hands of some financial rival or that perhaps
some scoundrels are holding him to ransom.”

“And is that your opinion?” asked Sir Julian.

“I think it very likely,” said Parker, frankly.

Sir Julian hesitated again.

 “I wish you would walk back with me when this is over,” he said.

“I should be delighted,” said Parker.

At this moment the jury returned and took their places, and
there was a little rustle and hush. The Coroner addressed the
foreman and inquired if they were agreed upon their verdict.

“We are agreed, Mr. Coroner, that deceased died of the effects of
a blow upon the spine, but how that injury was inflicted we consider
that there is not sufficient evidence to show.”

Mr. Parker and Sir Julian Freke walked up the road together.

“I had absolutely no idea until I saw Lady Levy this morning,”

said the doctor, “that there was any idea of connecting this matter
with the disappearance of Sir Reuben. The suggestion was perfectly
monstrous, and could only have grown up in the mind of that
ridiculous police officer. If I had had any idea what was in his mind I
could have disabused him and avoided all this.”

“I did my best to do so,” said Parker, “as soon as I was called in

to the Levy case—”

“Who called you in, if I may ask?” inquired Sir Julian.

“Well, the household first of all, and then Sir Reuben’s uncle, Mr.
Levy of Portman Square, wrote to me to go on with the
investigation.”

“And now Lady Levy has confirmed those instructions?”

“Certainly,” said Parker in some surprise.

Sir Julian was silent for a little time.

 “I’m afraid I was the first person to put the idea into Sugg’s
head,” said Parker, rather penitently. “When Sir Reuben disappeared,
my first step, almost, was to hunt up all the street accidents and
suicides and so on that had turned up during the day, and I went
down to see this Battersea Park body as a matter of routine. Of
course, I saw that the thing was ridiculous as soon as I got there,
but Sugg froze on to the idea—and it’s true there was a good deal of
resemblance between the dead man and the portraits I’ve seen of
Sir Reuben.”

“A strong superficial likeness,” said Sir Julian. “The upper part of

the face is a not uncommon type, and as Sir Reuben wore a heavy
beard and there was no opportunity of comparing the mouths and
chins, I can understand the idea occurring to anybody. But only to
be dismissed at once. I am sorry,” he added, “as the whole matter
has been painful to Lady Levy. You may know, Mr. Parker, that I am
an old, though I should not call myself an intimate, friend of the
Levys.”

“I understood something of the sort.”

“Yes. When I was a young man I—in short, Mr. Parker, I hoped
once to marry Lady Levy.” (Mr. Parker gave the usual sympathetic
groan.) “I have never married, as you know,” pursued Sir Julian. “We
have remained good friends. I have always done what I could to
spare her pain.”

“Believe me, Sir Julian,” said Parker, “that I sympathize very

much with you and with Lady Levy, and that I did all I could to
disabuse Inspector Sugg of this notion. Unhappily, the coincidence of
Sir Reuben’s being seen that evening in the Battersea Park Road—”

“Ah, yes,” said Sir Julian. “Dear me, here we are at home.
Perhaps you would come in for a moment, Mr. Parker, and have tea
or a whisky-and-soda or something.”
 Parker promptly accepted this invitation, feeling that there were
other things to be said.

The two men stepped into a square, finely furnished hall with a
fireplace on the same side as the door, and a staircase opposite. The
dining-room door stood open on their right, and as Sir Julian rang
the bell a man-servant appeared at the far end of the hall.

“What will you take?” asked the doctor.

“After that dreadfully cold place,” said Parker, “what I really want
is gallons of hot tea, if you, as a nerve specialist, can bear the
thought of it.”

“Provided you allow of a judicious blend of China in it,” replied

Sir Julian in the same tone, “I have no objection to make. Tea in the
library at once,” he added to the servant, and led the way upstairs.

“I don’t use the downstairs rooms much, except the dining-

room,” he explained as he ushered his guest into a small but
cheerful library on the first floor. “This room leads out of my
bedroom and is more convenient. I only live part of my time here,
but it’s very handy for my research work at the hospital. That’s what
I do there, mostly. It’s a fatal thing for a theorist, Mr. Parker, to let
the practical work get behindhand. Dissection is the basis of all good
theory and all correct diagnosis. One must keep one’s hand and eye
in training. This place is far more important to me than Harley
Street, and some day I shall abandon my consulting practice
altogether and settle down here to cut up my subjects and write my
books in peace. So many things in this life are a waste of time, Mr.
Parker.”

Mr. Parker assented to this.

“Very often,” said Sir Julian, “the only time I get for any research
work—necessitating as it does the keenest observation and the
faculties at their acutest—has to be at night, after a long day’s work
and by artificial light, which, magnificent as the lighting of the
dissecting room here is, is always more trying to the eyes than
daylight. Doubtless your own work has to be carried on under even
more trying conditions.”

“Yes, sometimes,” said Parker; “but then you see,” he added,

“the conditions are, so to speak, part of the work.”

“Quite so, quite so,” said Sir Julian; “you mean that the burglar,
for example, does not demonstrate his methods in the light of day,
or plant the perfect footmark in the middle of a damp patch of sand
for you to analyze.”

“Not as a rule,” said the detective, “but I have no doubt many of

your diseases work quite as insidiously as any burglar.”

“They do, they do,” said Sir Julian, laughing, “and it is my pride,
as it is yours, to track them down for the good of society. The
neuroses, you know, are particularly clever criminals—they break out
into as many disguises as—”

“As Leon Kestrel, the Master-Mummer,” suggested Parker, who

read railway-stall detective stories on the principle of the ’busman’s
holiday.

“No doubt,” said Sir Julian, who did not, “and they cover up their
tracks wonderfully. But when you can really investigate, Mr. Parker,
and break up the dead, or for preference the living body with the
scalpel, you always find the footmarks—the little trail of ruin or
disorder left by madness or disease or drink or any other similar
pest. But the difficulty is to trace them back, merely by observing
the surface symptoms—the hysteria, crime, religion, fear, shyness,
conscience, or whatever it may be; just as you observe a theft or a
murder and look for the footsteps of the criminal, so I observe a fit
of hysterics or an outburst of piety and hunt for the little mechanical
irritation which has produced it.”

“You regard all these things as physical?”

“Undoubtedly. I am not ignorant of the rise of another school of

thought, Mr. Parker, but its exponents are mostly charlatans or self-
deceivers. ‘Sie haben sich so weit darin eingeheimnisst’ that, like
Sludge the Medium, they are beginning to believe their own
nonsense. I should like to have the exploring of some of their brains,
Mr. Parker; I would show you the little faults and landslips in the
cells—the misfiring and short-circuiting of the nerves, which produce
these notions and these books. At least,” he added, gazing sombrely
at his guest, “at least, if I could not quite show you today, I shall be
able to do so tomorrow—or in a year’s time—or before I die.”

He sat for some minutes gazing into the fire, while the red light
played upon his tawny beard and struck out answering gleams from
his compelling eyes.

Parker drank tea in silence, watching him. On the whole,

however, he remained but little interested in the causes of nervous
phenomena and his mind strayed to Lord Peter, coping with the
redoubtable Crimplesham down in Salisbury. Lord Peter had wanted
him to come: that meant, either that Crimplesham was proving
recalcitrant or that a clue wanted following. But Bunter had said that
tomorrow would do, and it was just as well. After all, the Battersea
affair was not Parker’s case; he had already wasted valuable time
attending an inconclusive inquest, and he really ought to get on with
his legitimate work. There was still Levy’s secretary to see and the
little matter of the Peruvian Oil to be looked into. He looked at his
watch.

“I am very much afraid—if you will excuse me—” he murmured.

 Sir Julian came back with a start to the consideration of actuality.

“Your work calls you?” he said, smiling. “Well, I can understand

that. I won’t keep you. But I wanted to say something to you in
connection with your present inquiry—only I hardly know—I hardly
like—”

Parker sat down again, and banished every indication of hurry

from his face and attitude.

“I shall be very grateful for any help you can give me,” he said.

“I’m afraid it’s more in the nature of hindrance,” said Sir Julian,
with a short laugh. “It’s a case of destroying a clue for you, and a
breach of professional confidence on my side. But since—
accidentally—a certain amount has come out, perhaps the whole had
better do so.”

Mr. Parker made the encouraging noise which, among laymen,

supplies the place of the priest’s insinuating, “Yes, my son?”

“Sir Reuben Levy’s visit on Monday night was to me,” said Sir
Julian.

“Yes?” said Mr. Parker, without expression.

“He found cause for certain grave suspicions concerning his

health,” said Sir Julian, slowly, as though weighing how much he
could in honour disclose to a stranger. “He came to me, in
preference to his own medical man, as he was particularly anxious
that the matter should be kept from his wife. As I told you, he knew
me fairly well, and Lady Levy had consulted me about a nervous
disorder in the summer.”

“Did he make an appointment with you?” asked Parker.

“I beg your pardon,” said the other, absently.

 “Did he make an appointment?”

“An appointment? Oh, no! He turned up suddenly in the evening

after dinner when I wasn’t expecting him. I took him up here and
examined him, and he left me somewhere about ten o’clock, I
should think.”

“May I ask what was the result of your examination?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“It might illuminate—well, conjecture as to his subsequent

conduct,” said Parker, cautiously. This story seemed to have little
coherence with the rest of the business, and he wondered whether
coincidence was alone responsible for Sir Reuben’s disappearance on
the same night that he visited the doctor.

“I see,” said Sir Julian. “Yes. Well, I will tell you in confidence
that I saw grave grounds of suspicion, but as yet, no absolute
certainty of mischief.”

“Thank you. Sir Reuben left you at ten o’clock?”

“Then or thereabouts. I did not at first mention the matter as it

was so very much Sir Reuben’s wish to keep his visit to me secret,
and there was no question of accident in the street or anything of
that kind, since he reached home safely at midnight.”

“Quite so,” said Parker.

“It would have been, and is, a breach of confidence,” said Sir
Julian, “and I only tell you now because Sir Reuben was accidentally
seen, and because I would rather tell you in private than have you
ferretting round here and questioning my servants, Mr. Parker. You
will excuse my frankness.”
 “Certainly,” said Parker. “I hold no brief for the pleasantness of
my profession, Sir Julian. I am very much obliged to you for telling
me this. I might otherwise have wasted valuable time following up a
false trail.”

“I am sure I need not ask you, in your turn, to respect this

confidence,” said the doctor. “To publish the matter abroad could
only harm Sir Reuben and pain his wife, besides placing me in no
favourable light with my patients.”

“I promise to keep the thing to myself,” said Parker, “except of

course,” he added hastily, “that I must inform my colleague.”

“You have a colleague in the case?”

“I have.”

“What sort of person is he?”

“He will be perfectly discreet, Sir Julian.”

“Is he a police officer?”

“You need not be afraid of your confidence getting into the

records at Scotland Yard.”

“I see that you know how to be discreet, Mr. Parker.”

“We also have our professional etiquette, Sir Julian.”

On returning to Great Ormond Street, Mr. Parker found a wire

awaiting him, which said: “Do not trouble to come. All well.
Returning tomorrow. Wimsey.”
 CHAPTER VII
On returning to the flat just before lunch-time on the following
morning, after a few confirmatory researches in Balham and the
neighbourhood of Victoria Station, Lord Peter was greeted at the
door by Mr. Bunter (who had gone straight home from Waterloo)
with a telephone message and a severe and nursemaid-like eye.

“Lady Swaffham rang up, my lord, and said she hoped your
lordship had not forgotten you were lunching with her.”

“I have forgotten, Bunter, and I mean to forget. I trust you told

her I had succumbed to lethargic encephalitis suddenly, no flowers
by request.”

“Lady Swaffham said, my lord, she was counting on you. She

met the Duchess of Denver yesterday—”

“If my sister-in-law’s there I won’t go, that’s flat,” said Lord

Peter.

“I beg your pardon, my lord, the Dowager Duchess.”

“What’s she doing in town?”

“I imagine she came up for the inquest, my lord.”

“Oh, yes—we missed that, Bunter.”

“Yes, my lord. Her Grace is lunching with Lady Swaffham.”

 “Bunter, I can’t. I can’t, really. Say I’m in bed with whooping
cough, and ask my mother to come round after lunch.”

“Very well, my lord. Mrs. Tommy Frayle will be at Lady

Swaffham’s, my lord, and Mr. Milligan—”

“Mr. who?”

“Mr. John P. Milligan, my lord, and—”

“Good God, Bunter, why didn’t you say so before? Have I time to
get there before he does? All right. I’m off. With a taxi I can just—”

“Not in those trousers, my lord,” said Mr. Bunter, blocking the

way to the door with deferential firmness.

“Oh, Bunter,” pleaded his lordship, “do let me—just this once.
You don’t know how important it is.”

“Not on any account, my lord. It would be as much as my place

is worth.”

“The trousers are all right, Bunter.”

“Not for Lady Swaffham’s, my lord. Besides, your lordship forgets

the man that ran against you with a milk-can at Salisbury.”

And Mr. Bunter laid an accusing finger on a slight stain of grease

showing across the light cloth.

“I wish to God I’d never let you grow into a privileged family
retainer, Bunter,” said Lord Peter, bitterly, dashing his walking-stick
into the umbrella-stand. “You’ve no conception of the mistakes my
mother may be making.”

Mr. Bunter smiled grimly and led his victim away.

 When an immaculate Lord Peter was ushered, rather late for
lunch, into Lady Swaffham’s drawing-room, the Dowager Duchess of
Denver was seated on a sofa, plunged in intimate conversation with
Mr. John P. Milligan of Chicago.

“I’m vurry pleased to meet you, Duchess,” had been that

financier’s opening remark, “to thank you for your exceedingly kind
invitation. I assure you it’s a compliment I deeply appreciate.”

The Duchess beamed at him, while conducting a rapid rally of all

her intellectual forces.

“Do come and sit down and talk to me, Mr. Milligan,” she said. “I
do so love talking to you great business men—let me see, is it a
railway king you are or something about puss-in-the-corner—at
least, I don’t mean that exactly, but that game one used to play with
cards, all about wheat and oats, and there was a bull and a bear, too
—or was it a horse?—no, a bear, because I remember one always
had to try and get rid of it and it used to get so dreadfully crumpled
and torn, poor thing, always being handed about, one got to
recognise it, and then one had to buy a new pack—so foolish it must
seem to you, knowing the real thing, and dreadfully noisy, but really
excellent for breaking the ice with rather stiff people who didn’t
know each other—I’m quite sorry it’s gone out.”

Mr. Milligan sat down.

“Wal, now,” he said, “I guess it’s as interesting for us business

men to meet British aristocrats as it is for Britishers to meet
American railway kings, Duchess. And I guess I’ll make as many
mistakes talking your kind of talk as you would make if you were
tryin’ to run a corner in wheat in Chicago. Fancy now, I called that
fine lad of yours Lord Wimsey the other day, and he thought I’d
mistaken him for his brother. That made me feel rather green.”
 This was an unhoped-for lead. The Duchess walked warily.

“Dear boy,” she said, “I am so glad you met him, Mr. Milligan.
Both my sons are a great comfort to me, you know, though, of
course, Gerald is more conventional—just the right kind of person for
the House of Lords, you know, and a splendid farmer. I can’t see
Peter down at Denver half so well, though he is always going to all
the right things in town, and very amusing sometimes, poor boy.”

“I was vurry much gratified by Lord Peter’s suggestion,” pursued

Mr. Milligan, “for which I understand you are responsible, and I’ll
surely be very pleased to come any day you like, though I think
you’re flattering me too much.”

“Ah, well,” said the Duchess, “I don’t know if you’re the best
judge of that, Mr. Milligan. Not that I know anything about business
myself,” she added. “I’m rather old-fashioned for these days, you
know, and I can’t pretend to do more than know a nice man when I
see him; for the other things I rely on my son.”

The accent of this speech was so flattering that Mr. Milligan

purred almost audibly, and said:

“Wal, Duchess, I guess that’s where a lady with a real, beautiful,

old-fashioned soul has the advantage of these modern young
blatherskites—there aren’t many men who wouldn’t be nice—to her,
and even then, if they aren’t rock-bottom she can see through
them.”

“But that leaves me where I was,” thought the Duchess. “I

believe,” she said aloud, “that I ought to be thanking you in the
name of the vicar of Duke’s Denver for a very munificent cheque
which reached him yesterday for the Church Restoration Fund. He
was so delighted and astonished, poor dear man.”
 “Oh, that’s nothing,” said Mr. Milligan, “we haven’t any fine old
crusted buildings like yours over on our side, so it’s a privilege to be
allowed to drop a little kerosene into the worm-holes when we hear
of one in the old country suffering from senile decay. So when your
lad told me about Duke’s Denver I took the liberty to subscribe
without waiting for the Bazaar.”

“I’m sure it was very kind of you,” said the Duchess. “You are
coming to the Bazaar, then?” she continued, gazing into his face
appealingly.

“Sure thing,” said Mr. Milligan, with great promptness. “Lord

Peter said you’d let me know for sure about the date, but we can
always make time for a little bit of good work anyway. Of course I’m
hoping to be able to avail myself of your kind invitation to stop, but
if I’m rushed, I’ll manage anyhow to pop over and speak my piece
and pop back again.”

“I hope so very much,” said the Duchess. “I must see what can
be done about the date—of course, I can’t promise—”

“No, no,” said Mr. Milligan heartily. “I know what these things are
to fix up. And then there’s not only me—there’s all the real big men
of European eminence your son mentioned, to be consulted.”

The Duchess turned pale at the thought that any one of these
illustrious persons might some time turn up in somebody’s drawing-
room, but by this time she had dug herself in comfortably, and was
even beginning to find her range.

“I can’t say how grateful we are to you,” she said; “it will be
such a treat. Do tell me what you think of saying.”

“Wal—” began Mr. Milligan.

 Suddenly everybody was standing up and a penitent voice was
heard to say:

“Really, most awfully sorry, y’know—hope you’ll forgive me, Lady

Swaffham, what? Dear lady, could I possibly forget an invitation from
you? Fact is, I had to go an’ see a man down in Salisbury—
absolutely true, ’pon my word, and the fellow wouldn’t let me get
away. I’m simply grovellin’ before you, Lady Swaffham. Shall I go an’
eat my lunch in the corner?”

Lady Swaffham gracefully forgave the culprit.

“Your dear mother is here,” she said.

“How do, Mother?” said Lord Peter, uneasily.

“How are you, dear?” replied the Duchess. “You really oughtn’t
to have turned up just yet. Mr. Milligan was just going to tell me
what a thrilling speech he’s preparing for the Bazaar, when you came
and interrupted us.”

Conversation at lunch turned, not unnaturally, on the Battersea

inquest, the Duchess giving a vivid impersonation of Mrs. Thipps
being interrogated by the Coroner.

“‘Did you hear anything unusual in the night?’ says the little
man, leaning forward and screaming at her, and so crimson in the
face and his ears sticking out so—just like a cherubim in that poem
of Tennyson’s—or is a cherub blue?—perhaps it’s a seraphim I mean
—anyway, you know what I mean, all eyes, with little wings on its
head. And dear old Mrs. Thipps saying, ‘Of course I have, any time
these eighty years,’ and such a sensation in court till they found out
she thought he’d said, ‘Do you sleep without a light?’ and everybody
laughing, and then the Coroner said quite loudly, ‘Damn the woman,’
and she heard that, I can’t think why, and said: ‘Don’t you get
swearing, young man, sitting there in the presence of Providence, as
you may say. I don’t know what young people are coming to
nowadays’—and he’s sixty if he’s a day, you know,” said the Duchess.

By a natural transition, Mrs. Tommy Frayle referred to the man

who was hanged for murdering three brides in a bath.

“I always thought that was so ingenious,” she said, gazing

soulfully at Lord Peter, “and do you know, as it happened, Tommy
had just made me insure my life, and I got so frightened, I gave up
my morning bath and took to having it in the afternoon when he
was in the House—I mean, when he was not in the house—not at
home, I mean.”

“Dear lady,” said Lord Peter, reproachfully, “I have a distinct

recollection that all those brides were thoroughly unattractive. But it
was an uncommonly ingenious plan—the first time of askin’—only he
shouldn’t have repeated himself.”

“One demands a little originality in these days, even from

murderers,” said Lady Swaffham. “Like dramatists, you know—so
much easier in Shakespeare’s time, wasn’t it? Always the same girl
dressed up as a man, and even that borrowed from Boccaccio or
Dante or somebody. I’m sure if I’d been a Shakespeare hero, the
very minute I saw a slim-legged young page-boy I’d have said:
‘Odsbodikins! There’s that girl again!’”

“That’s just what happened, as a matter of fact,” said Lord Peter.

“You see, Lady Swaffham, if ever you want to commit a murder, the
thing you’ve got to do is to prevent people from associatin’ their
ideas. Most people don’t associate anythin’—their ideas just roll
about like so many dry peas on a tray, makin’ a lot of noise and goin’
nowhere, but once you begin lettin’ ’em string their peas into a
necklace, it’s goin’ to be strong enough to hang you, what?”
 “Dear me!” said Mrs. Tommy Frayle, with a little scream, “what a
blessing it is none of my friends have any ideas at all!”

“Y’see,” said Lord Peter, balancing a piece of duck on his fork and
frowning, “it’s only in Sherlock Holmes and stories like that, that
people think things out logically. Or’nar’ly, if somebody tells you
somethin’ out of the way, you just say, ‘By Jove!’ or ‘How sad!’ an’
leave it at that, an’ half the time you forget about it, ’nless somethin’
turns up afterwards to drive it home. F’r instance, Lady Swaffham, I
told you when I came in that I’d been down to Salisbury, ’n’ that’s
true, only I don’t suppose it impressed you much; ’n’ I don’t suppose
it’d impress you much if you read in the paper tomorrow of a tragic
discovery of a dead lawyer down in Salisbury, but if I went to
Salisbury again next week ’n’ there was a Salisbury doctor found
dead the day after, you might begin to think I was a bird of ill omen
for Salisbury residents; and if I went there again the week after, ’n’
you heard next day that the see of Salisbury had fallen vacant
suddenly, you might begin to wonder what took me to Salisbury, an’
why I’d never mentioned before that I had friends down there, don’t
you see, an’ you might think of goin’ down to Salisbury yourself, an’
askin’ all kinds of people if they’d happened to see a young man in
plum-coloured socks hangin’ round the Bishop’s Palace.”

“I daresay I should,” said Lady Swaffham.

“Quite. An’ if you found that the lawyer and the doctor had once
upon a time been in business at Poggleton-on-the-Marsh when the
Bishop had been vicar there, you’d begin to remember you’d once
heard of me payin’ a visit to Poggleton-on-the-Marsh a long time
ago, an’ you’d begin to look up the parish registers there an’
discover I’d been married under an assumed name by the vicar to
the widow of a wealthy farmer, who’d died suddenly of peritonitis, as
certified by the doctor, after the lawyer’d made a will leavin’ me all
her money, and then you’d begin to think I might have very good
reasons for gettin’ rid of such promisin’ blackmailers as the lawyer,
the doctor an’ the bishop. Only, if I hadn’t started an association in
your mind by gettin’ rid of ’em all in the same place, you’d never
have thought of goin’ to Poggleton-on-the-Marsh, ’n’ you wouldn’t
even have remembered I’d ever been there.”

“Were you ever there, Lord Peter?” inquired Mrs. Tommy,

anxiously.

“I don’t think so,” said Lord Peter; “the name threads no beads
in my mind. But it might, any day, you know.”

“But if you were investigating a crime,” said Lady Swaffham,

“you’d have to begin by the usual things, I suppose—finding out
what the person had been doing, and who’d been to call, and
looking for a motive, wouldn’t you?”

“Oh, yes,” said Lord Peter, “but most of us have such dozens of
motives for murderin’ all sorts of inoffensive people. There’s lots of
people I’d like to murder, wouldn’t you?”

“Heaps,” said Lady Swaffham. “There’s that dreadful—perhaps

I’d better not say it, though, for fear you should remember it later
on.”

“Well, I wouldn’t if I were you,” said Peter, amiably. “You never

know. It’d be beastly awkward if the person died suddenly
tomorrow.”

“The difficulty with this Battersea case, I guess,” said Mr.

Milligan, “is that nobody seems to have any associations with the
gentleman in the bath.”

“So hard on poor Inspector Sugg,” said the Duchess. “I quite felt
for the man, having to stand up there and answer a lot of questions
when he had nothing at all to say.”
 Lord Peter applied himself to the duck, having got a little
behindhand. Presently he heard somebody ask the Duchess if she
had seen Lady Levy.

“She is in great distress,” said the woman who had spoken, a

Mrs. Freemantle, “though she clings to the hope that he will turn up.
I suppose you knew him, Mr. Milligan—know him, I should say, for I
hope he’s still alive somewhere.”

Mrs. Freemantle was the wife of an eminent railway director, and

celebrated for her ignorance of the world of finance. Her faux pas in
this connection enlivened the tea parties of City men’s wives.

“Wal, I’ve dined with him,” said Mr. Milligan, good-naturedly. “I

think he and I’ve done our best to ruin each other, Mrs. Freemantle.
If this were the States,” he added, “I’d be much inclined to suspect
myself of having put Sir Reuben in a safe place. But we can’t do
business that way in your old country; no, ma’am.”

“It must be exciting work doing business in America,” said Lord

Peter.

“It is,” said Mr. Milligan. “I guess my brothers are having a good
time there now. I’ll be joining them again before long, as soon as
I’ve fixed up a little bit of work for them on this side.”

“Well, you mustn’t go till after my bazaar,” said the Duchess.

Lord Peter spent the afternoon in a vain hunt for Mr. Parker. He
ran him down eventually after dinner in Great Ormond Street.

Parker was sitting in an elderly but affectionate armchair, with

his feet on the mantelpiece, relaxing his mind with a modern
commentary on the Epistle to the Galatians. He received Lord Peter
with quiet pleasure, though without rapturous enthusiasm, and
mixed him a whisky-and-soda. Peter took up the book his friend had
laid down and glanced over the pages.

“All these men work with a bias in their minds, one way or
other,” he said; “they find what they are looking for.”

“Oh, they do,” agreed the detective; “but one learns to discount
that almost automatically, you know. When I was at college, I was
all on the other side—Conybeare and Robertson and Drews and
those people, you know, till I found they were all so busy looking for
a burglar whom nobody had ever seen, that they couldn’t recognise
the footprints of the household, so to speak. Then I spent two years
learning to be cautious.”

“Hum,” said Lord Peter, “theology must be good exercise for the
brain then, for you’re easily the most cautious devil I know. But I
say, do go on reading—it’s a shame for me to come and root you up
in your off-time like this.”

“It’s all right, old man,” said Parker.

The two men sat silent for a little, and then Lord Peter said:

“D’you like your job?”

The detective considered the question, and replied:

“Yes—yes, I do. I know it to be useful, and I am fitted to it. I do

it quite well—not with inspiration, perhaps, but sufficiently well to
take a pride in it. It is full of variety and it forces one to keep up to
the mark and not get slack. And there’s a future to it. Yes, I like it.
Why?”

“Oh, nothing,” said Peter. “It’s a hobby to me, you see. I took it
up when the bottom of things was rather knocked out for me,
because it was so damned exciting, and the worst of it is, I enjoy it
—up to a point. If it was all on paper I’d enjoy every bit of it. I love
the beginning of a job—when one doesn’t know any of the people
and it’s just exciting and amusing. But if it comes to really running
down a live person and getting him hanged, or even quodded, poor
devil, there don’t seem as if there was any excuse for me buttin’ in,
since I don’t have to make my livin’ by it. And I feel as if I oughtn’t
ever to find it amusin’. But I do.”

Parker gave this speech his careful attention.

“I see what you mean,” he said.

“There’s old Milligan, f’r instance,” said Lord Peter. “On paper,
nothin’ would be funnier than to catch old Milligan out. But he’s
rather a decent old bird to talk to. Mother likes him. He’s taken a
fancy to me. It’s awfully entertainin’ goin’ and pumpin’ him with stuff
about a bazaar for church expenses, but when he’s so jolly pleased
about it and that, I feel a worm. S’pose old Milligan has cut Levy’s
throat and plugged him into the Thames. It ain’t my business.”

“It’s as much yours as anybody’s,” said Parker; “it’s no better to

do it for money than to do it for nothing.”

“Yes, it is,” said Peter stubbornly. “Havin’ to live is the only

excuse there is for doin’ that kind of thing.”

“Well, but look here!” said Parker. “If Milligan has cut poor old
Levy’s throat for no reason except to make himself richer, I don’t see
why he should buy himself off by giving £1,000 to Duke’s Denver
church roof, or why he should be forgiven just because he’s
childishly vain, or childishly snobbish.”

“That’s a nasty one,” said Lord Peter.

“Well, if you like, even because he has taken a fancy to you.”

“No, but—”
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