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THE PSYCHOLOGY OF LOVE

Love is an emotional reaction that seems as basic as sadness, happiness, and fear
(Shaver, Morgan, & Wu, 1996). It can be complex and multifaceted. It is not merely a close
friendship that is extended to physical intimacy, but also it involves more than merely being
romantically or sexually interested in another person. The specific details appears to vary
from culture to culture (Beall & Sternberg, 1995), but the experience we call love appears to
be relatively universal one (Hatfield & Rapson, 1993). For instance, in the Indian epic
“Ramayana”, the portrayal of love between Rama and Sita shows deep emotional bonds and
loyalty. In contrast western love stories like Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” , the
passionate and committed love is showed to bloom between the couples.Despite the different
expression of love, the phenomenon that we call “love” show universal feelings of love,
sacrifice, and devotion.

Love was found to have its origins in the interaction of the genetic inclination for
maternal bonding and other adaptive features of the growing human. Such features facilitated
and were only possible with the growth of the human brain, such as larger cognitive
functions, more advanced ways of communication and finally language. Language could be
the reason behind the conscious self which, in time, with this self could appreciate and be
compassionate towards the originality of others. The densification of mother-infant dyadic
attachment into love had, and still has, an important function in continuity of culture, in
particular, the phenomena of vertical transmission, as well as the maintenance of the social
group. Jesuit, martin d’arc (1952). He argued that it would be practical, in sense to put
together a systematic, and if one may put it, scientific account of love, as this would help one
translate from the domain of poetry to that of psychological interpretation of the same
phenomena. He reported, that an emotion such as love, originated very far back because of
the structure of nature of man, but it will take him many years to realize how important its
essence is. The troubles are that such love fills a dimension of pain: for example, it is hard to
even be able to raise something general in the multitude of various definitions of love.

The human love that we are subjected with in this analysis and the one we provide
narratives on is in its simplest form an interaction between two human beings. This aspect is
a neural relational system and does not include any form of interaction. There is the presence
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of another human being and their structures of selves an individual incorporates and, in turn,
is capable of changing motivational structures, perceptions of the world, of other individuals,
and most importantly how the individual who is the object or target of feelings of love is
viewed. A person does not have the capacity of love without possessing an ego, self-
awareness, or cognizance about one’s ego. The suggestion on the contrary by the evolutionary
theory of love is that men and women marry or look for partners only in order to bear
offspring and perpetuate the humane race. Romantic love in this respect extends not only to
ensuring mates and their retention but also enabling bearing children with the most suitable
partners among them. The same goal of reproduction motivates hopies to look for other
possible partners, and romantic love helps them to do so.

The experience of love involves changes in brain and neurotransmitters. Research

indicatedbrain activation in the midbrain’s ventral tegmental area (VTA), which is the part of
the brain connected to meeting basic needs such as thirst and hunger (Aron et al., 2005b).
Additionally, fMRI studies conducted by Cacioppofound that 13 areas of the brain work
together to release chemicals such as the “feel good” hormone dopamine, the “cuddle
hormone” oxytocin, and adrenaline, which induces a euphoric sense of purpose. The findings
also indicated that the brain’s reward circuit- the amygdala, the hippocampus, and the
prefrontal cortex- lit up on brain scans when talking about a loved one because of increased
blood flow in these area (Cacioppo, 2012).
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Figure 1: Brain representation of love.

TYPES OF LOVE

Figure 2: Movie representation of the types of love

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Not all forms of love is same, the expression of love can be varied. There are different
types of love that people experience.

 Friendship: The type of love that involves liking someone and sharing a certain degree of
intimacy.
 Infatuation: It involves intense feelings of attraction without a sense of commitment. It
often takes place early in relationship and may deepen into a more lasting love.
 Passionate love: It is marked by intense feelings of longing and attraction. It often
involves an idealization of the other person and a need to maintain constant physical
closeness.
 Compassionate (or companionate) love: This form of love involves trust, affection,
intimacy, and commitment.
 Unrequited love: It happens when one person loves another who does not return those
feelings.

THEORIES OF LOVE

There are several theories of love to understand the complexities love between
individuals. While exploring the components of love, we can shed light on the dynamics of
relationship statuses through the theories.

1) STERNBERG'S TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE

Sternberg's (1986) triangular theory of love is one of the important framework for
understanding the various components of love. It suggests that each love is made up of three
basic components that are present in varying degrees in different couples (Aron &Westbay,
1996). The balance and interaction of these components determine the type and strength of
love experienced.The concept of love is a triangle involves:
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Figure 3: Sternberg’s triangular theory of love (1986).

 Intimacy
Intimacy means the closeness two people feel and the strength of bond that holds
them together. Partners high in intimacy are concerned with each other’s welfare and
happiness. They value, like, count on, and understand one another.Intimacy builds over time
and creates a sense of warmth and security in the relationship. It helps develop emotional
foundation of love between partners.
 Passion
Passion involves feelings and desires that lead to physical attraction, romance, and
sexual consummation associated with a couple’s relationship.It is often accompanied by
feeling of excitement and longing for the partner. It often develops early in relationship,
bringing energy and excitement.
 Commitment
The feelings that lead a person to remain with someone and move toward shared
goals. It represents the cognitive factors such as the decision to love and be with a person,
plus a commitment to maintain the relationship on a permanent or long- term basis. It grows
with time and effort, providing stability and security.
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When these three components of love interact in a systematic manner, it creates seven
kinds of love experiences. The kind of love experiences are combination of one, two or more
components. For instance, a relationship could start as passionate love, progress into romantic
love, and then eventually reach companionate love.
 Friendship love is when the component of intimacy or liking is present, but feelings of
passion or commitment in the romantic sense are missing.
 Infatuation love is when the component of passion is present. It is characterised by
feelings of lust and physical passion. The liking and commitment components are
missing. In this love, there has not been enough time for a deeper sense of intimacy,
romantic love, or consummate love to develop. It is most closely aligned with the idea of
love at first sight.
 Empty love when the component of commitment is present but passion or intimacy is
absent. At times, a strong love deteriorates into empty love or vice-versa. For example:
when an arranged marriage starts as empty but flourish into another form of love over
time.
 Romantic love is when the components of intimacy and passion are present. Partners have
deep conversations that help them know intimate details about each other. They may be at
the point where long term commitment or future plans are still undecided.
 Companionate love is when the components of liking or intimacy and commitment are
present. The love is stronger than friendship because there is a long-term commitment.
There is minimal or no sexual desire in the relationship. For instance, marriages where the
passion has died, but the couple continues to have deep affection.
 Fatuous love is when the components of commitment and passion are present. It is
characterised as a whirlwind courtship in which passion motivates a commitment in the
relationship without influence of intimacy.
 Consummate love is when all the three angles are equally strong and balanced in the
triangle of love. Sternberg suggests that consummate love is the ideal form but is often
difficult to attain or maintain. Partners with this form of love experience have great sex
several years into their relationship and cannot imagine themselves with anyone else.

Sternberg suggested that each component of love may differ from person to person
and couple to couple. Understanding how the components interact in one’s relationship
highlight areas that may need improvement. For instance, recognizing that the passion has
gone out of in the relationship can help look for ways to rekindle the spark.
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2) ATTACHMENT THEORY OF LOVE

Cindy Hazan and Philip Shaver (1987) theorized that romantic love is a biosocial
process similar to how children form attachments with their parents. This theory is modelled
after psychologist John Bowlby’s attachment theory. According to this theory of love, there
are three styles of adult attachment. Each attachment style shows different ways of
approaching love, intimacy, and emotional connection.

Figure 4: Attachment styles by Hazan and Shaver (1987).

 Anxious/ Ambivalent
A person with this style often worries that their partner doesn’t love them. Even
sometimes they want to be with their partner so much that it scares the other person away.
They tend to be needy, dependent, and overly sensitive to rejection. They may become overly
clingy, need frequent reassurance, and experience jealously. This attachment style originates
when caregivers are inconsistent in their responsiveness-sometimes attentive, sometimes
neglectful.
 Avoidant
A person with this style is uncomfortable getting close to others. They also typically
experience difficulty with developing trust and may distance themselves emotionally from
their partner to avoid vulnerability. They often suppress their emotions and avoid depending
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on their partner. They feel overwhelmed by too much intimacy and push their partner away if
they feel that the relationship is becoming too close. This style develops when caregivers are
unavailable or dismissive.

 Secure
A person with this style is secure in the relationship and has very few worries of
abandonment or fear of someone else getting too close. They are generally warm, loving, and
emotionally open in their relationship. They are not afraid of commitment and can
communicate their needs effectively. They handle conflict in a healthy manner and seek
solutions rather than becoming overly anxious or withdrawing from the relationship.

Depending on early childhood experiences, the person can experience and express
love in their relationship. This theory direct the focus on insights of love dynamic and the
potential of personal growth in relationships.

3) THE COLOUR WHEEL MODEL OF LOVE

John Lee (1973) compared styles of love to the colour wheel. The theory
compares different forms of love to primary and secondary colours. It represents that love
can be categorized into distinct styles that can blend into complex combination. Just like
three primary colours, Lee suggested that there are also three primary styles of love:
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Figure 5: Colour wheel theory of love by John Lee (1973).

 Eros

The word “Eros” comes from the Greek word meaning “passionate” or “erotic”.
According to Lee, this type of love combines both physical and emotional passion.Thus, it
represents love for an ideal person. Thepartners are highly romantic, passionate, emotionally
intense, and focused on physical beauty.

 Ludus

The word “Ludus” comes from the Greek word meaning “game”. This form of love is
conceived as playful and fun but not necessarily serious. Those who exhibit this form of love
are not ready for commitment and are wary of too much intimacy. Thus, it represents love as
a game. The partners are playful, flirtatious, does not seek deep emotional commitment, and
view love as entertainment.

 Storge

The word “Storge” come from the Greek word meaning “natural affection”. This type
of love includes familial love between parents and children, siblings, and extended family
members.It can also develop out of friendship, where people who share interests and
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commitments develop affection for one another gradually. Thus, it represents love as
friendship. The partners are bond isbased on trust and deep friendship, slow to develop, stable
and long-lasting.

There are secondary love styles which is a combinations of the primary love styles. It
includes the following:

 Mania (Eros + Ludus)

Mania is an obsessive love in a relationship. The partners with this form of love are
possessive, jealous, and obsessive. It represents intense emotional highs and lows,
dependency, and a fear of losing the partner. Thus, the lover craves for attention and
affirmation and often experiences insecurity in the relationship.

 Pragma (Ludus + Storge)

Pragma is a realistic and practical love in a relationship. The partners with this form of love
are logical, rational, goal-oriented, focused on compatibility and long- term practicality.
Thisstyle requires to look for a partner who fits their needs in terms of life goals, values, and
compatibility.Thus, the love is less about passion and more about finding a partner who suits
one’s long- term objectives.

 Agape (Eros + Storge)

Agape is a selfless form of love in a relationship. The partners with this form of love
altruistic, giving, prioritizes their partner’s well-being over their own needs, patient,
forgiving, and not dependent on reciprocation. It is often seen as unconditional love that is
compassionate and caring. Thus, the love is about consistently privatizing the happiness and
well-being of the other.

RELATIONSHIP STATUSES

With the help of these three theories of love, we can understand the form of love in
different romantic relationship statuses. Romantic relationship is defined as mutual, ongoing
and voluntary interactions between two partners that are characterized by specific expressions
of affection and intimacy (Collins, et al., 2009). There can be different ways how a romantic
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relationship can shape up and expressed between individuals. It can start as friendship or
infatuation and then proceed to romantic love and eventually consummate love (Stritof,
2022). It can be between individuals who are casually or seriously dating, married, or in any
other conduct that involves sexual contact or intimacy.

Romantic relationship can be challenging but also rewarding, and they can fulfil our
need for human connection both physically and emotionally (Libretexts, 2021).Relationship
statuses like platonic relationship, friends with benefits, polyamory
relationship,situationships, and open relationship are different types of relationship that forms
with the combination of different elements of love.

Figure 6: Different relationship statuses.

1) PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP

Platonic relationship involves closeness and friendship without sex. The relationship
is characterised by closeness, fondness, understanding, respect, care, support, honesty, and
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acceptance. While platonic love is often free from passion, it can shift over time into romantic
or sexual relationships. There a different types of platonic relationships which is as follows:

 Firstly, bromancewhich is a close, affectionate, non- sexual relationship between two

men.
 Secondly, womanceis type of relationship that is an emotional, non- sexual, non- romantic
bond between two women.
 Thirdly, work spouse which is a relationship that describes a close but non- sexual
connection between colleagues or co-workers that involves bonds and sometimes even
roles similar to that of a marriage.

In Robert Sternberg’s triangular theory of love, love consists of three elements:

intimacy, passion, and commitment. Platonic relationship exhibit intimacy ( a sense of
emotional closeness, trust, and shared experiences), but it lacks passion and commitment in
the romantic sense. This bond aligns with “liking” in Sternberg’s model where two
individuals share feelings of closeness, warmth, admiration, and respect (Cherry, 2023).
According to Guerrero, Anderson, and Afifi (2011), platonic relationships do not contain
passion, as there is an expectation to maintain the relationship free from any sexual
interaction between both people. It is not until the passion is presented that people tend to
escalate their relationship and define it as romantic.

Attachment theory by Cindy Hazan and Philip Shaver presents three primary
attachment styles that form relationships as adults: secure, anxious, and avoidant. Platonic
relationships reflect a secure attachment style, without the anxiety of dependence or
avoidance. It is because in platonic love individuals feel emotionally safe and supported
without the need for romantic or sexual involvement. This relationship often provide a strong
foundation of emotional support, a key factor in secure attachment. Messeman, Canary, and
Hause (2000) found that the motivation for maintaining a platonic relationship is to sustain is
support. On form of support that was reported was the feeling of intimacy in the friendship,
and having the trust to confide in that person. The emotional attachment that is formed
between both members, both men and women view friendships as an essential and crucial
component to maintaining happiness in their life.

John Lee’s colour wheel theory of love classifies six forms of love. Amongst which,
storage represents platonic relationship. A love that develops gradually from friendship,
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without passion or intense emotions at the start. The foundation of the relationship is trust,
emotional connect, and shared experiences or interests. Emotional convergence, as found by
Anderson, Keltner, and John (2003) suggests that people cross-sex relationships depend on
friendships because of the emotional satisfaction that they bring. The emotional attachment
that individuals feel towards a friend motivates them to want to continue maintaining their
relationship with that person.

Gender differences lies in attraction between men and women in platonic love. Ward
(2012) found that men were more attracted to the woman than vice versa and men also
perceived that the women had higher levels of attraction towards them. Men were also more
likely to want to engage in sexual activity with their cross- sex platonic friend. Whereas,
women tend to view these relationships as a friendship with little to no attraction among
them.

2) FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

A friend with benefits is defined by Reiber (2010) as “hook-ups consisting of sexual

behaviours between partners in the absence of a traditional romantic relationship and without
the promise of other benefits. They are often considered a form of ‘no-strings attached’(p.3).
It involves people who are friends or friendly with each other agree to be physically or
sexually intimate, without commitment or expectations that is typically associated with a
traditional romantic relationship (Owen, et al., 2017). It is a causal relationship that lies
between a platonic and a romantic relationship. The key characteristics of a friends with
benefits relationship involves that following:

 It is often starts with friendship. The people involved know each other to some degree,
may share common interests, care about and respect each other, and enjoy spending time
together as friends.
 The “benefits” in this relationship consists of sex and other forms of physical intimacy
like kissing and cuddling.
 The relationship may involve casual hangouts like watching movies together, sleepovers,
spending time with each other’s friends, and cooking each other dinner.
 This form of relationship are about enjoying each other’s company with any expectations
or commitment that their relationship will progress into a romantic relationship.
 This is often non- exclusive that means partners are free to date other people if they like.
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 These relationships are often short- lived. They either evolve into a more committed
relationship, return to friendship, or end it altogether.

According to the triangular theory of love, friends with benefits relationship

emphasize on passion but lack commitment. The level of intimacy can vary in relation to the
closeness of the friendship between the two partners. A study with friends with benefits
arrangements found that the majority of them did not lead to more committed relationships.
Additionally, most of the relationships dissolved back into friendships (Gupta, 2023).

People with avoidant attachment styles may prefer friends with benefits relationships.
It is due to their discomfort with emotional closeness and commitment. Additionally, people
with anxious attachment style may struggle with the lack of emotional security in such
relationships. Merriam-Pigg (2012) found that in the friends with benefits relationship self
monitors (individuals who adjust their behaviour based on social cues) are more likely to be
satisfied. Partners prefer the non- committal, flexible nature of friends with benefits
relationship, aligning with avoidant attachment behaviours. Additionally, it was observed that
men are more likely to seek friends with benefits for the physical connection (passion), while
women enter these relationships for emotional closeness and potential romantic development.

In association with colour wheel theory of love, partners with friends with benefits
relationship are closely connected with ludus which is a playful, casual, and non- committal
love. It focuses on the enjoyment of the relationship without any long term commitment,
emotional depth, or exclusivity.

There were gender differences found with respect to friends with benefits relationship.
The “benefit” of sex or physical intimacy was a more common motivation for men to begin
such relationships, whereas emotional connection was a more common motivation for
women. Men were more likely to hope that the relationship stays the same over time, whereas
women expressed more desire for change into a full-fledged romance or basic friendship.
Surprisingly, both men and women were more committed to the friendship than to the sexual
aspect of the relationship (Lehmiller et al., 2010).

3) SITUATIONSHIPS

(Langlais et al., 2024) defined situationships as “romantic relationships with no clarity

or label.” The partners in the relationship have affection, engage in sexual behaviours, and
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spend time together but also involve low levels of commitment. This relationship allows
individuals to experience the benefits of being in a relationship and being simultaneously.The
key facets of a situationships are absence of clear rational labels, irregular contact, superficial
knowledge of partners, and lack of progression towards commitment or termination (George,
2024).

Unlike the predictable progression of traditional courtships, situationships often drag

on indefinitely with no talk of escalating commitment or clearly articulating the relationship’s
parameters. Partners may behave as stereotypical boyfriend/girlfriend during in-person
interactions but otherwise lead wholly separate lives void of meaningful integration.
Fluctuating levels of contact and displays of affection are common, leaving one or both
partners frequently confused and insecure. The characteristics of a situationships involves the
following:

 The relationship is undefined. There is a constant dilemma of “what are we?”.

 There is a lack of consistency in the relationship. It can be hard to know what can be
expected from the partner.
 People in situationships typically do no discuss about future together.
 The connection between the two is superficial. Even though, they spend time together but
they may not develop a deep emotional connection.
 Situationships is based on convenience with each other. The people in the relationship
may not prioritize each other or go out of their way to see each other. Rather, the plans are
made in the spur of the moment based on convenience.
 The relationship is not exclusive i.e., in situationships the partner/partners in a
relationship may be seeing other people.
 There aren’t any follow up in the relationship. It means that there isn’t efforts to take a lot
of initiative or follow up on conversations or plans.

According to Sternberg’s theory of love, in situationships, passion is typically present

and intimacy may or may not exist. The level of commitment is absent in the relationship.
The partners engage in behaviours such as affection, sexual interaction, and emotional
closeness when they are together. But, this pattern is absent when outside these moments. The
relationship allows for personal freedom and reflects the lack long term commitment.Partners
in situationships may exhibit avoidant attachment styles. They are people who are
uncomfortable with emotional closeness and commitment, yet desire emotional and physical
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connection. In terms with colour wheel theory of love, ludusemphasizes fun , enjoyment, and
physical attraction without long term emotional commitment. This reflects the dynamics of a
situationships.

Langlais, Podberesky, Toohey, & Lee (2024) found that situationships were defined as
romantic relationships with no clarity or label, low levels of commitment, but similar
romantic behaviours as established couples by means of affection and sexual behaviour and
time spent together. For most parts, the people involved in the relationship are emotionally
and sexually invested even if they are not in a fully committed relationship. Additionally,
there are significant differences found in regard to relationship quality and similarities
regarding affectionate and sexual behaviours between situationships and non- situationships.

Gender differences in situationships often reflect societal norms and individual

expectation. Choudhry and his colleagues (2022) that women and men experience these
relationships differently. Women may become more emotionally invested, even desiring
commitment, but are often left with unfulfilled expectations when their partners are less
committed. This can lead to feelings of confusion. Whereas, men may feel more comfortable
in situationships because of the lower emotional expectations and the flexibility to explore
without committing.

4) POLYAMORY

The word “polyamory” is the combination of the Greek word for “many” and the
Latin word for “love”, which altogether means “many loves” or “more than one love”
(Anapol, 2010; Klesse, 2006). This style of relationship is centeredon the belief that it is
possible to love more than one person. The relationship often involves having more than one
romantic relationship simultaneously, with full knowledge and consent of all the partners
involved. Every polyamorous relationship has different structures, as there are often more
than two people involved in a romantic relationship. These different structures consists of the
following:

 A vee relationship that involves three partners. In this form, one person acts as the
“hinge” or “pivot” partner dating two people. The other two people are not romantically
or sexually involved with each other. These two people are known as “metamours”to one
another.
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 A triad relationship that involves three partners, but herein, all three partners are
romantically and/or sexually involved with each other. It may be formed when an existing
couple opens their relationship and finds a third partner who is interested in them both,
and whom they are both also interested in. This relationship may also be formed when
two metamours in a vee relationship begin to date, changing the form of the relationship
from a vee to a triad. It may also form when three very close friends begin dating each
other at the same time.
 A quad relationship made up of four partners who are intimately connected in some way,
whether romantically or sexually. It is often formed when two swinging couples connect
and begin dating.

In a polyamorous relationships, according to triangular theory of love, there is a

emotional closeness and communication with multiple partners. It fosters strong bonds and
reflects intimacy among them. The sexual element in the relationship represents passion
between partners. Unlike monogamy, polyamorous partners are committed to several partners
simultaneously.All the three components of triangular love are present between partners but
degree of each can vary depending on the structure of the polyamorous relationships.

Attachment style among partnersis secure. They thrive emotional openness and
healthy communication.If there were a flexibility that means emotional distance when
necessary it would be considered as an avoidant attachment. Feelings of jealously and
insecurity when navigating multiple relationships can lead to anxious attachment. However,
the basis of the relationship is mutual understanding and consent which draws it to secure
form of relationship.

The relationship incorporate the element of pragma i.e., practical love. This is because
individuals in the relationship navigate the logistical aspects of maintaining multiple
relationships.There are also elements of ludus and storge. The individuals enjoy the novelty
and excitement of connecting with different partners. At the same time, there can be long
term foundation of polyamorous relationships in which emotional bonds are nurtured over
time.

In the cultural context, polyamory in tribal and indigenous cultures polyamorous

relationships were a natural part of social structure. For instance, some Native Americans
cultures practiced a form of polyamory that was deeply embedded in their social fabric. The
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relationship involving multiple partners were often built on mutual respect and emotional
bonds, it reflected a more fluid understanding of love and partnership. Similarly, in part of
Africa and Polynesia these relationships were less about ownership and more about
communal living and shared responsibilities. The focus was on building a supportive network
of relationship that benefitted community as a whole.

Gender differences found for polyamorous relationships showed that sexual

minorities, men, and younger adults reported greater desire to engage in polyamory compared
to heterosexuals, women, and older adults respectively. Additionally, men and people with
lower education backgrounds were more likely to have previously engaged in polyamory
compared to women and people with higher education backgrounds respectively (Moors et
al., 2021).

5) OPEN RELATIONSHIPS

This form of relationship status fall under the large category of consensually non-
monogamous relationship. The partner or partners in the relationships can pursue sex, and
sometimes emotional attachments, with other people. The relationships is different from
swinging in which partners have sex with other people at parties and where the relationships
are purely sexual. This relationship is also different from polyamory, where partners can
pursue more than one committed relationship at a time. Open relations are often considered a
middle ground between swinging and polyamory. Thus, the partner(s) can have sex with
whomever you want, but are not pursuing intimate, committed relationships with other
partners.

Married couples, committed couples, and casual couples alike can be in an open
relationships that involve consent to:

 People with this of relationship can casually date people outside their marriage or
relationship.
 The partners can pursue romantic relationships outside their marriage or relationship.
 The partners can have a physical relationship outside of their marriage or relationship.

There are many reasons when people want to be in an open relationship. Firstly,
humans enjoy novelty in sexuality. A new partner is a way to satisfy new sexual experiences.
Secondly, it allows people to express their needs and identity without fear. Thirdly, there is a
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heightened communication about wants and needs. Fourthly, there is freedom to express
one’s different sides. Lastly, there is no pressure for one person to fulfil all of their partner’s
emotional and sexual needs and interests.

On the other hand, open relationships can take rusty turns. Firstly, there can be risk of
jealously and issues with self- esteem. Secondly, there can be risk of emotional pain as one’s
partner experiences pleasure and happiness with someone else. Thirdly, there can risk of
sexually transmitted infection. Fourthly, there can risk unplanned pregnancy. Lastly, there can
be risk of sexual addiction or loss of libido from trying to please multiple partners.

Based on the triangular theory of love, open relationships often focused on the
importance of sexual freedom and exploration. The partners in the relationship seek out new
sexual experiences while maintaining the passion in their relationship. The intimacy between
partners can be flexible depending on the relationship structure. Emotional closeness
primarily exist with a central partner, while some open relationships allow for different
degrees of emotional intimacy with secondary partners. In the relationship the boundaries are
clearly communicated. There is trust and security within the relationship despite sexual
openness. Thereby, open relationships maintain a strong foundation of commitment to the
primary partner.

With the nature of open relationships, the partners are comfortable with each other.
There is emotional openness, trust, and independence. There is a clear communication
between the two which allows them to manage jealously and insecurity while maintaining
strong emotional bonds with their primary partner. It reflects a secure attachment style
between the partners.

In open relationships, in terms of the colour wheel theory of love, ludus (playful love)
resembles the bond between partners. The relationship is about enjoyment, sexual freedom,
and novelty without an expectation of exclusivity. There is also an element of pragma
(practical love), in which the relationship is built around mutual benefit, communication, and
the desire for varied experiences. Partners often communicate extensively to maintain
harmony.

Fairbrother et al. (2019)reported characteristics of open relationship that men

compared to women, were more likely to report prior open relationship engagement and to
identity open as their ideal relationship type. Younger adults were more likely both to engage
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in and to prefer open relationships. It was also found that relationship satisfaction did not
differ significantly between monogamous and open relationships. Greater relationship
satisfaction was associated with having a match between one’s actual relationship type and
one’s preferred relationship type.

Table 1: The dynamics of the relationship statuses

RELATIONSHIP EMOTIONAL COMMITMENT SOCIETAL THEORIES OF

STATUS SATISFACTIO ACCEPTANCE LOVE
N

Platonic There is high The focus was There is a high There is high
relationships emotional on emotional acceptance in intimacy, no
satisfaction bond. There is mist cultures passion, may or
through deep no romantic or due to the may not lack
intimacy and sexual absence of commitment,
companionship. commitment. sexual secure
But, there is lack involvement. attachment,
of sexual deep friendship
fulfilment. love i.e., storge.

Friends with Physical There is little to Often criticized There is high

benefits satisfaction is no commitment due to the passion,
present between as the casual nature avoidant
the partners. relationship is and lack of attachment, and
based on commitment. ludus (playful
temporary sexual love) with
attraction. elements of
eros (passion).

Situationships There is an There is low This form of There is passion

unstable commitment as relationship is with no
emotional there is no clear growing commitment,
satisfaction. It is long term goal. visibility but is avoidant
because partners often criticized. attachment, and
may have is similar to
21

different ludus and eros.

expectations.

Polyamory There is high There is high Gaining There is high

relationship emotional and levels visibility in passion,
sexual commitment progressive intimacy,
satisfaction. This with multiple societies. commitment,
requires strong partners. It often secure
communication. involves long attachment, and
term emotional blends pragma,
bonds. storage, and
eros.

Open There is an Commitment is Low societal There is high

relationships emotional maintained with acceptance. commitmentand
satisfaction with primary partner intimacy with
their primary but not with primary partner,
partners. external partner. but there is
Whereas, there is passion with
a sexual with external
satisfaction in partner. They
external have secure
partners. attachment
style, and
combines
pragma and
ludus.

To sum everything up stated, there are various forms of relationship and each of them
differ in dynamics. Each relationship including platonic relationship, friends with benefits,
situationships, polyamory relationship and open relationships, was build up by distinct
elements of intimacy, passion, commitment, attachment, eros, pragma and ludus. It reflects
partners preferences and the way they shape their interpersonal connections based on their
22

needs. These relationships depict evolution from the former conventional monogamous
obligations. More and more people believe that the end of intimate relationships is not a
condemnation.

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