Act 1

MRS. BENNETT: Hold your chin up, Lydia. Smile, girls. We have to make a good impression. As
I always say, a single man in possession of –

KITTY: Ooh, I know! A single man in possession of a wife, must be in want of a good fortune.

MRS. BENNETT: …No, Kitty.

KITTY: But–

JANE: You have the two reversed, dear.

ELIZABETH: It’s not exactly untrue.

MARY: Fortune should never be a virtuous woman’s prime considera–

LYDIA: Goose. How can a single man be in possession of a wife?

MRS. BENNETT: Ahem. Girls. A single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of
a wife.

KITTY: That’s what I said.

MARY: No–

LYDIA: It’s not.

KITTY: I did. I said–

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 9

LYDIA: You didn’t either.

KITTY: I did, I did!

MR. BENNETT: IF only you had said nothing at all.

KITTY: But if I said nothing at all, how would you know what I was trying to say?

MRS. BENNETT: My dear Mr. Bennett, have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?
MR. BENNETT: …I had not, no.

MRS. BENNETT: Oh, but it is, for Mrs. Long has just been here, and she told me all about it.
Well? Don’t you want to know who has taken it?

MR. BENNETT: Taken what?

MRS. BENNETT: Netherfield Park.

MR. BENNETT: Taken it where?

MRS. BENNETT: Oh!

MR. BENNETT: You want to tell me–and I have no objection to hearing it–who has taken
Netherfield Park?

MRS. BENNETT: Mrs. Long says Netherfield Park is taken by a young man of large fortune from
the North of England. He’s to take possession before Michaelmus.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 10

LYDIA: What’s his name?

MRS. BENNETT: Bingley.

LYDIA: Is he married or single?

JANE: Lydia.

MRS. BENNETT: HE is single, to be sure. A single man of large fortune; four or five thousand a
year. What a fine thing for our girls.

MR. BENNETT: How so? How can it affect them?

MRS. BENNETT: You must know that I’m thinking of his marrying one of them. Our girls are the
prettiest in the neighborhood by far. Whom else would he choose?

MARY: Charlotte Lucas?

MRS. BENNETT: Of course not. If he does, it’s your father’s fault.

ELIZABETH: Careful, or you’ll be married by Michaelmus.

LYDIA: Why should he pick Jane? There are five of us, after all.

KITTY: Of which you are the youngest.

MARY: And the loudest.

LYDIA: Soon enough I’ll be the tallest.

MARY: Not as soon as you think.

ELIZABETH: It’s a wonder he isn’t coming just to meet you.

MR. BENNETT: Is that his design in settling here?

LYDIA: To meet me?

MR. BENNETT: To marry one of our girls?

MRS. BENNETT: How can you be so tiresome? It’s very likely that he may fall in love with at
least one. You must visit him as soon as he comes.

MR. BENNETT: I see no occasion for that. The girls may go. Or you may flirt with him yourself, if
you like.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 11

MRS. BENNETT: You flatter me. I certainly have had my share of beauty, but I don’t pretend to
be anything extraordinary now. But, my dear, you must go and see him when he comes. The
Lucases are determined to go, and they never visit newcomers.

MR. BENNETT: I’ll send a few lines to assure him of my hearty consent to his marrying
whichever of the girls he chooses. Though I’ll be sure to throw in a good word for Lizzy.

MRS. BENNETT: Lizzy is not a bit better than the others. I’m sure she is not as handsome as
Jane.

JANE: It’s all right; I wouldn’t call you plain.

ELIZABETH: You are too good.

LYDIA: Mama.
MRS. BENNETT: Nor half so good-humored as Lydia, nor as sweet as Kitty. Nor as–musical as
Mary.

JANE: So many faults for you to improve upon.

ELIZABETH: How shall I ever overcome?

MR. BENNETT: Lizzy has a quickness of mind that’s deserving of admiration. None of the rest
of you have much to recommend you; you’re all silly and ignorant like other girls.

KITTY: I’m not sill all of the time, Papa.

MR. BENNETT: No, but you are silly enough of the time.

MRS. BENNETT: How can you abuse your own children in such a way? Choosing favorites,
always teasing. You delight in vexing me. You have no compassion on my poor nerves.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 12

MR. BENNETT: You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves; that are my old
friends. I’ve heard you mention them with consideration these twenty years at least.

MRS. BENNETT: Oh! You don’t know what I suffer.

MR. BENNETT: I’m certain you’ll get over it soon.

KITTY: Do you think Mr. Bingley will like it?

LYDIA: Not on you.

MRS. BENNETT: How are we to know what Mr. Bingley likes, since we are not to visit? Oh, I’m
sick of Mr. Bingley.

MR. BENNETT: I’m sorry to hear that. If I’d known as much this morning, I certainly would not
have called on him. We can’t escape the acquaintance now.

MRS. BENNETT: My dear! What an excellent father you have, girls; I have shed a tear, I do
believe. We shall all meet and like our new neighbor.

LYDIA: Who is it from?

ELIZABETH: Charlotte. “My dear Lizzy, I hope you and your sisters are still planning to join us
tonight. Just about all the neighborhood is coming–”
MRS. BENNETT: Probably no one worth our while. Just the same boring faces again and
again–

ELIZABETH: “Including the new tenants at Netherfield.”

MRS. BENNETT: Oh! And of course I’m here without a decent scrap to wear. Hane, let me see
you! Ah. my love. Who could say no to such a face? Now girls, you should hall have a
opportunity to dance with Mr. Bingley. Don’t waste it.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 13

ELIZABETH AND CHARLOTTE: “If nothing else–”

CHARLOTTE: The dancing should be great fun. It’s been ages since we’ve had a good dance
here. Whether or not Mr. Bingley can resist the scheming of either your mother or mine is yet to
be seen. Your friend–

ELIZABETH: Charlotte!

KITTY: That is Mr. Bingley with his sister, Caroline.

LYDIA: Isn’t she beautiful?

KITTY: The fine, dignified gentleman is Mr. Darcy.

LYDIA: He is Mr. Bingley’s dearest friend.

JANE: Can’t the two of you at least attempt to be– Oh.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 14

CAROLINE: How I adore a country ball. La.

MARY: I quite share your aversion. Such displays, while amusing in the short term, do the soul
little good.

CAROLINE: Indeed.
LYDIA: Mr. Darcy and Miss Bingley seem perfectly suited to one another.

KITTY: They say Mr. Darcy’s living is worth nearly twice Mr. Bingley’s.

LYDIA: That’s ten thousand a year!

KITTY: Doesn’t that alone make him handsomer than Mr. Bingley?

LYDIA: Jane finds Mr. Bingley quite handsome enough.

MRS. BENNETT: We shall have ourselves a wedding soon enough, girls. Oh, it’s exciting!

ELIZABETH: So this is the mysterious Mr. Bingley.

CHARLOTTE: Indeed. He is quite affable and easy in his manners. A very pleasant gentleman.

ELIZABETH: I hope so, for Jane’s sake.

CHARLOTTE: She looks rather taken.

ELIZABETH: As does he it would seem.

​ ​ ​ ​ DANCE BREAK-ALL MICS OFF

MRS. BENNETT: Oh, Jane and Mr. Bingley look so well together.

ELIZABETH: Mama, please.

MRS. BENNETT: I cannot imagine a couple more well suited.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ PAGE 15

MR. BENNETT: Like a good and her gander.

MRS. BENNETT: Oh! Cannot you see them with a little flock of goslings following behind?

MR. BENNETT: It’s the very first thing I thought of.

BINGLEY: It’s a distinct pleasure to make your acquaintance.

JANE: We’re so glad to finally have friends at Netherfield. How do you find it?

BINGLEY: Oh, I like it very much. I have almost from the moment we came up the drive. I saw
the columns out front and thought, “A man could make a home here.” I don’t know why I had
that thought, but it was immensely satisfying. As if I’ve been searching for something.

JANE: I hope you find it.

CAROLINE: Oh, Miss Bennett. That is such a lovely color on you.

JANE: Thank you.

CAROLINE: How is it possible for someone to maintain so fine a complexion outside of

London? What’s your secret? Do you use Gowland’s, or something like?

JANE: No, nothing. I’m quite fond of the open air, actually.

CAROLINE: Charming. We shall be good friends, you and I.

JANE: I would like that very much.

BINGLEY: Might we share another dance, Miss Bennett?

JANE: Yes, thank you.

CAROLINE: Forgive me, but I must steal my brother away for just a moment.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ PAGE 16

ELIZABETH: How is Mr. Bingley?

JANE: He is–amiable.

ELIZABETH: You’re lucky to have made the acquaintance of the less gloomy of those two.

JANE: Perhaps Mr. Darcy is in need of a reason to smile.

ELIZABETH: I doubt he will find such a treasure in this setting.

BINGLEY: What a delightful party. Such charming people!

CAROLINE: Oh, Charles, really.

BINGLEY: Don’t you find them charming?

CAROLINE: I half expect a cow to wander through the next set.

MARY: Miss Bingley! I would so love to know which are your favorite psalms.

BINGLEY: Come, Darcy, I hate to see you standing about by yourself. I must have you dance.

DARCY: There isn’t a woman in the room with whom it wouldn’t be punishment to dance.

BINGLEY: I’ve never met so many pleasant girls in my life.

DARCY: You’ve been dancing with the only handsome girl in the room.

BINGLEY: She is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But there is one of her sisters just
over there. She is very pretty and, I dare say, very agreeable.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 17

DARCY: Which do you mean? She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me.

BINGLEY: There must be at least one young lady who’s captured your attention, however
briefly.

DARCY: Return to your partner and enjoy her smiles; you’re wasting your time with me.

CHARLOTTE: Oh, Lizzy…

ELIZABETH: Goodness, you’d think something crawled into his supper and died. Likely he
doesn’t dance because he’s had at it.

CHARLOTTE: That doesn’t stop everyone it should.

ELIZABETH: Lydia, for instance.

CHARLOTTE: It is a pity that all the money in the world can’t buy a person grace.
ELIZABETH: Or charm.

CHARLOTTE: Or manners. Can you imagine having such wealth at your disposal? What would
you do with it?

ELIZABETH: Stuff the cracks in the kitchen chimney. No one needs that much money.

CHARLOTTE: But you need at least some of it. Enough for a safe, stable home. A comfortable
living.

ELIZABETH: A husband.

CHARLOTTE: How else might you achieve the rest?

ELIZABETH: Would you marry a man simply for his wealth? Mrl. Darcy, for example?

CHARLOTTE: Would you refuse then thousand a year?

ELIZABETH: I shall know and love the man I marry, and not just be satisfied with–

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 18

CHARLOTTE: His buckets of gold?

ELIZABETH: Did you see how everyone fawned over him when first he arrived? All blinded by
the very shine of him. But now I wouldn’t dance with him if he begged me.

CHARLOTTE: What if he paid you?

ELIZABETH: Lottie!

CHARLOTTE: He might just.

MRS. BENNETT: What a delightful evening! Was this evening not delightful? I found it to be
excessively delightful.

MR. BENNETT: If only the recollection of it were as delightful.

JANE: He is just what a young man ought to be; sensible, good-humored, lively.

ELIZABETH: He is also handsome, which a young man ought likewise to be, if he possibly can.
JANE: I didn’t think he would ask me to dance a second time.

ELIZABETH: You were the only one in any doubt of it. He certainly is very agreeable. I give you
leave to like him.

JANE: Lizzy.

ELIZABETH: You’ve liked many a stupider a person.

JANE: Lizzy!

ELIZABETH: You’re a great deal too apt, you know, to like people in general.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 19

JANE: I hope that’s not too much a fault.

ELIZABETH: I’ve never heard you speak ill of a human being in my life.

JANE: I wouldn’t wish to be hasty in censuring anyone; but I always speak what I think. My
opinions, if nothing else, are earned.

ELIZABETH: You take the good of everybody’s character and make it still better. For example,
this young man. I think we all know how you feel about him, and he may just be deserving of it.
As for his sister…

JANE: Miss Bingley is a very pleasing person to converse with–

ELIZABETH: You see? Not an ill word.

JANE: We shall find a very fine neighbor in her.

ELIZABETH: I’m sure everything about her is exceedingly fine. And what of this friend of his?

JANE: Mr. Darcy? Mr. Bingley holds Mr. Darcy’s judgement in the highest opinion.

ELIZABETH: Don’t you find it odd that such different men might be such dear friends?

JANE: Not at all. We’re different, and we’re sisters.

ELIZABETH: But your Mr. Bingley is open and warm, while Mr. Darcy is aloof and arrogant.
JANE: He might not be, in more intimate company. Who are we to say what he is like? Of
course he was uncomfortable in a room full of strangers.

ELIZABETH: How like you to defend the person everyone else sees as indefensible.

JANE: Oh, Lizzy. I do it for you all the time.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 20

DARCY: Ha! That was a good one… Bingley.

BINGLEY: What?

DARCY: You’re distracted.

BINGLEY: I’m not.

DARCY: So much for striking fear into the hearts of woodcocks everywhere. What are you
thinking on? Or dare I say–Whom?

BINGLEY: Miss Bennett. She’s an angel. I couldn’t conceive of one more beautiful.

DARCY: She’s very pretty, I grant. Though she smiles too much. Be careful. Miss Bennett is a
delicate flower, but her family…They are the roughest of weeds.

BINGLEY: Oh, I like them all very much. So cheerful and high-spirited.

DARCY: Don’t sell yourself short. You’re too good for the Miss Bennetts, however beautiful they
may be.

CHARLOTTE: Betsy made scones. I played the rascal and took a few when she wasn’t looking.

JANE: She won’t mind?

CHARLOTTE: She won’t notice.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 21

ELIZABETH: Ah! They’re still warm.

CHARLOTTE: I’m amazed Betsy was able to do any baking today. Though the lodge is quiet;
most of my family is still in bed. I don’t think we’ll see Mother before supper.

ELIZABETH: Then the evening was a success! We certainly had a good time–some of us more
so than others.

JANE: I try not to find fault in a dance.

CHARLOTTE: Who can?

ELIZABETH: You began the evening well; you were Mr. Bingley’s first choice.

CHARLOTTE: He liked his second choice better.

ELIZABETH: Is that why Jane is blushing so furiously? She did describe him as–amiable.

CHARLOTTE: Did she? Goodness. They’re practically engaged.

ELIZABETH: Don’t tell Mama.

JANE: You can never help yourself.

ELIZABETH: I’m sorry. I’ll turn my wrath to one much more deserving.

JANE: I’m certain you will.

ELIZABETH: I’ve said too much again.

CHARLOTTE: Jane seldom holds it against you.

ELIZABETH: What must it be like to be so composed, so guarded in your manner.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 22

CHARLOTTE: It could be a disadvantage. If she’s too guarded, he may think her uninterested.

ELIZABETH: Ridiculous. Jane needn’t worry on that account.

CHARLOTTE: She needs to help him on.

ELIZABETH: She will, as much as her nature allows.

CHARLOTTE: Bingley doesn’t know Jane or her disposition as you do. She needs to command
his attention.

ELIZABETH: Can you see Jane commanding anything?

CHARLOTTE: She needs to make the most of every moment she has with him. When she is
secure of his affection, then there will be leisure for falling in love.

ELIZABETH: Leisure? You make marriage out to be but a business transaction.

CHARLOTTE: Isn’t it?

ELIZABETH: I suppose. At its core. But it’s more than that. It’s– it’s–

CHARLOTTE: Love? That comes later.

ELIZABETH: Not for me.

CHARLOTTE: These things require strategy. If Jane doesn’t act on her feelings, she may lose
her chance.

ELIZABETH: She hasn’t known him long enough to establish a rapport, let alone feelings.
Surely you can’t fault her for being cautious.

CHARLOTTE: Few of us have heart enough to be in love without encouragement. Should she
pin her hopes to the idea that he will also wait, and just as patiently.

ELIZABETH: It’s as if you’re planning something.

CHARLOTTE: Of course I’ve planned it. I’ve planned everything.

ELIZABETH: Everything but affection.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 23

CHARLOTTE: Everything that matters. Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. If

you plan for it, you’re far more likely to be disappointed.

ELIZABETH: I can’t imagine anyone not falling in love with you.

CHARLOTTE: I don’t need to imagine it; it happens all the time.

ELIZABETH: Who’s to say what love is waiting for you, or me?

CHARLOTTE: Don’t ask. It’s better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with
whom you are going to spend your life.

ELIZABETH: Love changes people.

CHARLOTTE: If you’re lucky enough to find it.

LYDIA AND KITTY: Mama, Mama!

ELIZABETH: What? What is it?

LYDIA: Oh, you won’t believe it!

ELIZABETH: Why all the fuss? Has someone died?

KITTY: Even better.

LYDIA: Mama, you must come!

MRS. BENNETT: What? What’s happened?

MARY: With all the noise they make you’d think they were the Four Horsemen.

KITTY: We were on our way to Meryton to see if any new bonnets have arrived at Reynold’s–

LYDIA: And there is a fine new one with lavender ribbons which will set off my complexion
perfectly–

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 24

KITTY: When we came upon Mrs. Long chatting with a young woman not of our acquaintance.

LYDIA: We immediately thought she should be, though, as she is quite beautiful.

KITTY: Her name is Mrs. Forster, and she is a newlywed just arrived in the village.

LYDIA: Her husband is a colonel. In the militia.

KITTY: The militia has come to Meryton and will stay for some time!

LYDIA: We have already met, oh! so many fine-looking officers.

KITTY: And there is a letter from Netherfield.

CAROLINE: My dear friend, please dine with me today, or you will abandon me to the most
awful death of boredom. Or possibly be eaten by something wild, as this is the countryside after
all. My brother is with the officers, and I must have company that won’t mee at me through the
soup course. Yours ever, Caroline Bingley.

JANE: How kind.

ELIZABETH: Moo.

LYDIA: With the officers! I wonder why she didn’t invite you to that.

MRS. BENNETT: Mr. Bingley is dining out. That’s very unlucky.

JANE: It’s going to rain. May I take the carriage?

MRS. BENNETT: No, my dear; you had better go on horseback.

ELIZABETH AND JANE: Horseback?

MRS. BENNETT: Take one of the ponies and you’ll be right as rain.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 25

ELIZABETH: You can’t be serious.

JANE: Mama, please. I would much rather go in the carriage–

MRS. BENNETT: It’s for your own good, my dear. Go on. Have a lovely visit, and give my very
best to Miss Bingley.

ELIZABETH: It’s nearly three miles to Netherfield.

MRS. BENNETT: Would you rather I sent her on foot?

MARY: Jane doesn’t care for riding.

MRS. BENNETT: One must make sacrifices to win a husband. That’s a valuable lesson for you
all.
ELIZABETH: Oh, dear.

KITTY: What is she drowns before she gets there?

LYDIA: Don’t be ridiculous. She could swim.

JANE: My dearest Lizzy, I find myself very unwell this morning, which is at least partially due to
yesterday’s downpour. I have a kind friend in Miss Bingley, who won’t hear of my returning home
till I’m better. Don’t be alarmed. Excepting a sore throat and a headache, there is not much the
matter with me. Your Jane.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 26

ELIZABETH: She’s worse than she sounds.

MR. BENNETT: Well, my dear, if Jane should die, it will be a comfort to know it was all in pursuit
of Mr. Bingley and his four thousand pounds.

MRS. BENNETT: Oh, pooh. People don’t die of little trifling colds. As long as she stays there, it’s
all very well.

MR. BENNETT: Such can be said of most souls sent early to Heaven.

MRS. BENNETT: And just where are you going?

ELIZABETH: To Jane.

MRS. BENNETT: How can you be so silly to think of such a thing, in all this mud?

ELIZABETH: The distance is nothing when one has motive.

CAROLINE: Mr. Darcy, you are quite distracted this morning. Though I’m sure I can guess the
subject of your reverie.

DARCY: I imagine not.

CAROLINE: You’re considering how insupportable it would be to pass your days in the country,
and in such society. I’m of the same opinion. The nothingness and yet the self-importance of the
people! Noisy and tedious all at once.

DARCY: You’re quite wrong. My mind was more agreeably engaged.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 27

CAROLINE: What by?

DARCY: A pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman.

CAROLINE: And what lady has inspired such reflections?

BINGLEY: Miss Elizabeth Bennett.

CAROLINE: TO what do we owe the pleasure?

ELIZABETH: I’m sorry to appear so suddenly and, well– I’ve come to inquire after my sister,
please.

BINGLEY: I’m sorry to say that her head cold has given way to a fever. Would you like to see
her.

ELIZABETH: Yes, thank you.

BINGLEY:This way, Miss Bennett.

JANE: Lizzy.

ELIZABETH: Dearest. How are you feeling? Is your fever worse?

JANE: Thank you for coming. It’s so good to see you.

ELIZABETH: Thank goodness for Mr. Bingley. His anxiety for your well-being is more than
evident.

JANE: I hate to cause him distress.

ELIZABETH: Of course you do.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 28

CAROLINE: I sense an invasion. Invite one Bennett, invite the all.

BINGLEY: Miss Bennett will be more at ease in her sister’s care.

CAROLINE: She walked here! It makes for a loathsome sort of conceited independence. Ver
nonsensical for her to come at all.

BINGLEY: Her affection for her sister is to be admired.

CAROLINE: Even if it brings her on foot across three miles of dirt and mud?

BINGLEY: Especially then.

CAROLINE: She looks positively wild. And her petticoats–

BINGLEY: They quite escaped my notice.

CAROLINE: Did you observe them, Mr. Darcy?

DARCY: No.

CAROLINE: Six inches deep in mud. I’m inclined to think you wouldn’t wish you sister to make
such an exhibition.

DARCY. Certainly not.

CAROLINE: And has this adventure affected your admiration of Miss Elizabeth’s fine eyes?

DARCY:...Not at all. They were brightened by the exercise.

ELIZABETH: If I stay I’ll be forced to dine with these friends of yours.

JANE: Miss Bingley is sweet. And her brother is most kind and attentive.

ELIZABETH: And Mr. Darcy?

JANE: He is solemn and quiet.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 29

ELIZABETH: As the grave?

JANE: As a gentleman ought to be.

ELIZABETH: If he is the ideal, we are better off alone.

JANE: Why be so hard on poor Mr. Darcy?

ELIZABETH: Poor Mr. Darcy! Impeccably dressed. Not a hair out of place. Yet when he speaks,
he says nothing tolerable.

JANE: You weren’t meant to hear him when he said–

ELIZABETH: Does that make it any less hurtful?

JANE: You harbored no such feelings at the time. You can’t know what he intended. Perhaps he
was feeling–

ELIZABETH: Awkward?

JANE: Nervous.

ELIZABETH: Miserable.

JANE: If Mr. Darcy is melancholy, something has happened to make him so. You should go
downstairs. Gird yourself, Lizzy.

ELIZABETH: For?

JANE: All that pleasant conversation you’ll be forced to endure.

DARCY: My dearest sister, I hope you are well, and that—that–

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 30

DARCY: That you might find a gratifying challenge in the concerto I last left with you. I heard it
performed in town, and thought instantly that you would do better justice to it.

BINGLEY: Would you like to play a hand of commerce, Miss Bennett?

ELIZABETH: No, thank you.

CAROLINE: So you despise cards. We know you love books. Is there anything of relative
interest in which you find pleasure?

ELIZABETH: “Despise” is a strong word. I find pleasure in many things.

BINGLEY: Nursing your sister, for example?

ELIZABETH: Yes.

BINGLEY: Is that book to your taste? There is a whole library full of them if you would like
another. Perhaps there’s one your sister might enjoy.

CAROLINE: What a delightful library you have at Pemberley, Mr. Darcy. He is always buying
books.

DARCY: I can’t comprehend the neglect of a family library in such days as these.

CAROLINE: Neglect! You’ve taken fine care to only add to the beauty of that noble place. When
you build your house, Charles, we can only hope it might be half as sublime as Pemberley.

BINGLEY: I’d buy Pemberley itself if Darcy would sell it.

CAROLINE: I’m talking of actual possibilities.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 31

BINGLEY: It’s more possible to get Pemberley by purchase than by imitation.

ELIZABETH: Is a house really worth so much fuss?

CAROLINE: Pemberley isn’t merely a house. It’s a symbol of how things should be. The proper
order. The lady of such a house– Well.

BINGLEY: It’s truly impressive. It’s not enough to hear it spoken of; you must visit it for yourself.

ELIZABETH: In the end, it’s just a house. Doubtless it’s larger than others, with extensive
grounds and room after lavishly furnished room. Dare I ask, how many rooms does a person
require to be comfortable?

CAROLINE: It’s not an issue of comfort.

ELIZABETH: It wouldn’t be.

BINGLEY: I got lost in Pemberley once, trying to get from one end to the other.

DARCY: I thought you carried bread crumbs for that very purpose.

BINGLEY: That would require not eating them.

CAROLINE: Oh, Charles.

BINGLEY: Perhaps Darcy will show you the house one day. But keep close, else you may never
leave.

CAROLINE: Is Miss Darcy much grown since the spring?

DARCY: She is. I think she is now about Miss Elizabeth Bennett’s height.

CAROLINE: How I long to see her again! Such a countenance, such manners. Her performance
on the pianoforte is exquisite. She is extremely accomplished for her age. She would make a
most excellent sister.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 32

BINGLEY: It’s amazing to me how young ladies can have the patience to be so very
accomplished, as they all are.

CAROLINE: My dear Charles. The things you say.

BINGLEY: You all are, I think. You paint tables, or draw landscapes, or sing beautifully. I
scarcely know any young lady who isn’t accomplished.

DARCY: I cannot agree. I only know a half dozen ladies, in the whole of my acquaintance, who
are truly accomplished.

ELIZABETH: Your idea of an accomplished woman must be a great deal.

CAROLINE: A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, dancing, drawing, and the
modern languages to deserve the distinction. Besides all this, she must possess a certain
something in her air and manner of speaking.

ELIZABETH: All of this?

DARCY: Yes. And to it she must add something substantial, improving her mind by extensive
reading.

ELIZABETH: I’m no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women; I rather
wonder at your knowing any.

DARCY: Dearest Georgiana, I should tell you that I have been fortunate enough to make a new
acquaintance. The conflict that presently fills my mind is at once unfamiliar yet commonplace. I
know the remedy, but I cannot say if I am cured.
CAROLINE: Such fine penmanship. Are you writing to your sister?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 33

CAROLINE: You write uncommonly fast. How many letters you must have occasion to write in
the course of the year. Letters of business too! How odious I should think them to be.

DARCY. It’s fortunate that they fall to my lot, not yours.

CAROLINE: Tell your sister that I long to see her. I’m quite in raptures with her beautiful little
design for a table.

DARCY: Will you give me leave to defer your raptures till I write again? At present I haven’t
room to do them justice.

CAROLINE: Do you always write such charming long letters?

DARCY: Long, yes; but charming–that’s not for me to determine. Wordsworth. Her taste in
poetry is not at all dissimilar to yours, Georgianna, and she has a wit that both disarms and
pleases. Quite frankly, if it were not for the inferiority of her family connections, I may find myself
in danger.

BINGLEY: I hope I’m not disturbing you.

JANE: No, not at all. It’s your hospitality that is being abused.

BINGLEY: What good is there in having such a big house if one can’t have guests now and
then? How are you feeling?

JANE: A little tired.

BINGLEY: Your sister thought you might enjoy this. Or not.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 34

JANE: I would very much, thank you. But my eyes aren’t wide at their best. Would you–read it to
me?

BINGLEY: I would be glad to.

CAROLINE: Miss Bennett, follow my example and take a turn about the room. It’s very
refreshing after sitting so long in one attitude,

ELIZABETH: Erm… All right.

CAROLINE: Now, isn’t that better?

ELIZABETH: Indeed it is.

CAROLINE: Has anyone told you that you have particularly fine eyes?

ELIZABETH: No. Thank you.

CAROLINE: Won’t you join us, Mr. Darcy?

DARCY: No. I am well situated.

CAROLINE: What can he mean?

ELIZABETH: The surest way of disappointing him will be to ask nothing about it.

CAROLINE: Explain yourself, Mr. Darcy.

DARCY: One possibility is that you are in each other’s confidence and have secret affairs to
discuss. The other is that you are conscious that your figures appear to their greatest advantage
in walking. If the first, I should be completely in your way; if the second, I can admire you much
better from here.

CAROLINE: How long shall we punish him for such speech?

ELIZABETH: Laugh at him.

CAROLINE: Oh, but he’s not to be laughed at.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 35

ELIZABETH: That’s unfortunate, as I dearly love a laugh.

DARCY: The best of men have been rendered ridiculous by a person whose first object in life
was a joke.

ELIZABETH: Follies and nonsense divert me, and I laugh at them whenever I can.
DARCY: I avoid those weaknesses which often expose a strong understanding to ridicule.

ELIZABETH: Such as vanity and pride.

DARCY: Vanity is a weakness, indeed. But pride– Where there is a real superiority of mind,
pride will always be under good regulation. I have faults enough. I can’t, for example, forget the
mistakes and offenses of others as quickly as I ought. My good opinion, once lost, is lost
forever.

ELIZABETH: That’s a failing indeed. But you’ve chose your fault well; I can’t laugh at it. You’re
safe from me.

DARCY: There is, in every disposition, a tendency to some particular, natural defect, which not
even the best education can overcome.

ELIZABETH: Your defect is a propensity to hate everybody.

DARCY: And yours is to willfully misunderstand them.

JANE:I should go. I have trespassed on your good will long enough.

BINGLEY: You could never trespass on anything of mine.

KITTY: I hope it isn’t too long before they throw a ball at Netherfield. I could do with some
dancing, and they have such a nice ballroom. So I’ve heard, anyway.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 36

LYDIA: If Jane is smart, she will have put the idea in Mr. Bingley’s head.

KITTY: You’ll have to dance with us, Mary.

LYDIA: Hs!

MARY: I have no disinclination for dancing, as it is no sacrifice to join occasionally in evening

engagements. Society has claims on us all.

LYDIA: You make balls out to be as much fun as Sunday school.

MRS. BENNETT: What are you doing here? You were supposed to stay at Netherfield until you
were fully recovered. What will they think of us?

ELIZABETH: That we outstayed our welcome.

JANE: Mr. Bingley was kind enough to let us have the use of his carriage.

MRS. BENNETT: I suppose that is something.

ELIZABETH: How do you find Jane, Mama?

MRS. BENNETT: Pale and trembling. You should have stayed two more days at least.

JANE: It is misery to be ill and away from home.

MR. BENNETT: Ah, Jane! Lizzy! Thank goodness you’ve come home. Evening conversation
has noticeably lacked substance in your absence.

MARY: I can’t help it if I’m the only one who’s read the book of Revelation.

LYDIA: Papa doesn’t like to talk of the officers.

KITTY: Nor does Papa know any.

LYDIA: I know several.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 37

MR. BENNETT: I hope, my dear, that you’ve ordered a good dinner for today, as company is
coming.

MRS. BENNETT: Company?

MR. BENNETT: A gentleman and a stranger.

MRS. BENNETT: Oh! It’s Mr. BIngley, I’m sure. Why Jane! You never dropped a word of this,
you sly thing. But I don’t have a bit of fish. Lydia, my love, ring the bell for–

MR. BENNETT: It’s not Mr. Bingley. It’s a person whom I never saw in the whole course of my
life. This letter is from my cousin, Mr. Collins, who, when I’m dead, may turn you all out of this
house as soon as he pleases.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 37
MRS. BENNETT: Ugh, don’t speak of that odious man. Why should your estate be entailed
away from your own children?

JANE: Nothing can be done about the entail, Mama; its the law–

MRS. BENNETT: Its such a cruelty, settling an estate away from a family of five daughters, and
in favor of a man who nobody cares anything about.

MR. BENNETT: I’m afraid nothing can clear Mr. Collins from the guilt of inheriting Longbourn. He
writes, “Dear Sir, the disagreement subsisting between yourself and my late father has always
caused me much uneasiness, and since I’ve recently had the misfortune to lose him, I wish to
heal the breach.”

MR. BENNETT AND COLLINS: “Having received my ordination at Easter…”

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 38

COLLINS: I have been so fortunate as to be distinguished by the patronage of the Right

Honorable Lady Catherine de Bourge, widow of Sir Lewis de Bourgh, whose bounty and
beneficence has preferred me to the valuable rectory of this parish, where it shall be my earnest
endeavor to demean myself with grateful respect towards her Ladyship. And the Church of
England. I cannot but compliment you on your having such a fine family of daughters, Mrs.
Bennett. I had heard much of their beauty, but their fame has fallen short of the truth. I am
convinced you will see them all, in due time, well disposed of. In marriage.

MRS. BENNETT: I wish with all my heart it may prove so.

COLLINS: I can assure the young ladies that I have come prepared to–admire them. Such a
fine house. The hall is one of the tidiest I have seen. And the furniture–Ah! Your furniture is to be
praised, Mrs. Bennett.

MRS. BENNETT: Thank you. Though I can’t help supposing that your compliments come from
one who will be the future owner.

ELIZABETH: Mama.

COLLINS: Ah, the entail. It’s a most grievous situation for you, I’m sure. But I have a solution
that I believe will knit us all together as the family that we are meant to be. No one need to be
turned out when Mr. Bennet’s unfortunate death comes upon us.

MR. BENNETT: My favorite subject.

COLLINS: Dinner was so wonderful. I forgot to ask–to which of my fair cousins is owed the
excellence of cooking?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 39

MRS. BENNETT: We can afford to keep a cook.

MARY: I can make a very nice pudding.

COLLINS: Oh! I meant no offense, only to pay a compliment where I may. I am sorry.

MRS. BENNETT: Thank you.

COLLINS: Please. I do apologize.

MRS. BENNETT: …Yes.

COLLINS: Forgive me–

MR. BENNETT: You seem very fortunate in your patroness, Mr. Collins.

COLLINS: Oh! I have never in my life witnessed such affability and condescension as I have
from Lady Catherine de Bourgh. She has advised me to marry as soon as I can–and to suggest
the installation of more shelves in the upstairs closets of my humble parsonage, which is
separated from Rosings Park by only a wee lane.

MR. BENNETT: Does her Ladyship have any family?

COLLINS: She has only one small daughter, Miss Anne de Bourgh, the heiress of Rosings. She
is a most charming young lady, whose features, if not the handsomest of her sex, mar her being
one of distinguished birth. Unfortunately she is sickly of constitution, though her ill health has not
prevented her from becoming the most accomplished of young ladies.

LYDIA: Let’s walk to Meryton.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 40

COLLINS: Ah, yes! The difficult blessing of exercise. Miss Bennett, if you will permit me, I
should be so happy to trudge in the dust beside you.

MARY: What an appealing image. Not wholly new, yet well expressed.
JANE: We’ll all go together; no trudging necessary.

COLLINS: I’m sure that Miss de Bourgh, with all her fine talents, would be in good company
among you, my fair cousins. You may imagine that I am happy on every occasion to offer those
little delicate compliments which are always acceptable to ladies and, in particular, please her
Ladyship. Of course, the compliment is an act which must be treated with care. Mr. Fordyce
suggests that we “commend with moderation” and “acknowledge with prudence.” Words to live
by, don’t you think?

MARY: Oh, yes. Prudence is always the best course.

LYDIA: Who could that be?

KITTY: It’s no one of our acquaintance, surely.

LYDIA: He has all the best parts of beauty–

KITTY: And fine countenance.

LYDIA: He must be a gentleman.

KITTY: And regimentals!

LYDIA: All a young man needs is a uniform to be completely charming.

MARY: I quite prefer the humble raiment of the clergy. Myself.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 41

COLLINS: …Ahh.

WICKHAM: Impatience is a great fault of mine, I know. But I must introduce myself. Are you the
brother of this lovely collection of ladies, sir?

COLLINS:...Umm…Ahem…I am a cousin, sir. The inheriting cousin. William Collins. These are
the, er, Miss-es Bennetts-es.

WICKHAM: How blessed I am to know you all. George Wickham, most gladly at your service.

LYDIA: Are you here with the regiment, Mr. Wickham?

WICKHAM: I am.
LYDIA: And does your colonel allow you to dance?

WICKHAM: Seeing as he himself is quite recently married, he and his young wife do delight in a
good dance. Have you good dances here?

ELIZABETH: We enjoy them.

WICKHAM: That’s well enough for me, though I wouldn’t be surprised to hear the company will
rival the dancing. I can only speak for myself, of course. I’m the most humble and overlooked of
men.

ELIZABETH: Are you indeed?

WICKHAM: I’ve had too much good in my life to complain of a few mishaps. I’ve lived close to
grand halls, but never within; nor is it likely that I ever shall. But I’m content with my small place
in this world, as I know God has given it me.

ELIZABETH: Humility is a refreshing trait in a gentleman.

WICKHAM: I’m no gentleman; I’m but the son of a steward. Though even I have no difficulty
recognizing a lady.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 42

KITTY: Jane! Jane, look who it is!

JANE: Hush–

BINGLEY: Ladies! Good afternoon. We were on our way to Longbourn to announce the good
news. Netherfield will be hosting a ball. Naturally you are all invited.

JANE:...I think I’ll go home, Lizzy.

COLLINS: Miss Bennett, If I might have a word. Miss Bennett!

MARY: I would so like to hear your thoughts on vanity. Mr. Collins!

WICKHAM: Is Netherfield Park terribly far from Meryton?

ELIZABETH: Not at all. It’s but two miles. A very pleasant walk.

WICKHAM: And how long has Mr. Darcy been staying there?
ELIZABETH: About a month. He is a man of very property in Derbyshire, I understand.

WICKHAM: Yes, his estate there is admirable, and his living is a clear the thousand per year.

ELIZABETH: How do you know that?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 43

WICKHAM: I’ve been connected to that family in a particular way since my infancy. You’re right
to be surprised, after seeing the cold manner of our meeting. Are you much acquainted with Mr.
Darcy?

ELIZABETH: As much as I ever wish to be. Mr. Darcy is not at all liked in Hertfordshire. He is all
vanity and conceit.

WICKHAM: The world is blinded by his fortune and consequence, and sees him only as he
chooses to be seen.

ELIZABETH: I hope your plans to stay in the neighborhood won’t be affected by his presence
here.

WICKHAM: His father, the late Mr. Darcy, was the truest friend I ever had. He left me Kympton,
a parish in Derbyshire, as the church should have been my profession. But when the dear old
man died, Darcy gave it to another. I’ve had to make my living elsewhere.

ELIZABETH: Why would he do such a thing?

WICKHAM: His father had an uncommon attachment to me, which irritated Darcy to no end.

ELIZABETH: I’ve never liked him, but I had not thought him so bad as this.

WICKHAM: His actions may be traced to pride, and pride has often been his friend.

ELIZABETH: Can such ways have ever done him good?

WICKHAM: It gives me pain to speak ill of Darcy, but–no. Of course, he likely inherited his
haughtiness from his aunt, as she is one of the proudest people you might ever meet. Lady
Catherine de Bourgh.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 44

ELIZABETH: Lady Catherine is his aunt?

WICKHAM: Yes. Her daughter Anne will have a very large fortune, and it’s believed that she and
Darcy will unite their two estates in marriage.

ELIZABETH:...I had no idea.

JANE: Lizzy? You’ve come to enjoy particular company.

ELIZABETH: I enjoy his conversation.

JANE: I believe you do.

ELIZABETH: But?

JANE: I didn’t say–

ELIZABETH: No. You didn’t.

JANE: Mr. Wickham’s story is amazing, yes. And heartbreaking if it’s true.

ELIZABETH: If it’s true?

JANE: You’ve heard only Mr. Wickham’s side, Lizzy. They’ve likely both been deceived in some
way or other. We cannot say who is to blame.

ELIZABETH: Heaven forbid we find ourselves obliged to think ill of somebody.

JANE: Consider Mr. Darcy’s position. If a man of his family and property should mistreat his
father’s favorite in such a manner–one whom his father has promised to provide for–no. No man
who valued his character could be capable of such a thing. No matter what you think of him, Mr.
Darcy is careful of his reputation. I don’t believe he could be so unworthy of Mr. Bingley’s
esteem.

ELIZABETH: But why should Mr. Wickham invent such a history?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 45

JANE: One doesn’t know what to think.

ELIZABETH: One knows exactly what to think.

JANE: How Mr. Bingley would suffer if this whole affair were made public…

ELIZABETH: Mr. Bingley?

JANE: He would anguish to discover how deceived he had been in Mr. Darcy.

ELIZABETH: We can’t have that, can we.

JANE: He does hold his good friend in such high regard. Lizzy, do I look alright?

ELIZABETH: You are and always will be the loveliest woman in the room.

JANE: A yes or no would suffice.

ELIZABETH: I was trying to be sympathetic to Mr. Bingley. Remember, you may only dance two
sets with him.

JANE: You don’t know that he’ll even ask me to dance.

ELIZABETH: Sadly, you’re right. Mr. Bingley asking you to dance is about as likely as Mr. Darcy
cracking a smile.

MRS. BENNETT: Mr. Bennett! Where is Hill? Hill! Where is Mr. Bennett? Oh!

COLLINS: Forgive my stealth, Mrs. Bennett; it comes naturally to those of the cloth. May I walk
with you?

MRS. BENNETT: Please.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ PAGE 46

COLLINS: I have taken very seriously the sage advice of my patroness, the estimable Lady
Catherine de Bourgh, to seek after a companion for my future life.

MRS. BENNETT: Don’t they look well? My girls.

COLLINS: Yes. Very well. Ahem. Weighing carefully Lady Catherine’s advice and taking into
account the painful separation our two families have suffered due to the entail of your husband’s
property, it feels to me most natural that a mistress for Longbourn be produced from her.

MRS. BENNETT: Mr. Collins?

COLLINS: I should like to woo your eldest daughter.

MRS. BENNETT: Ooooh! Jane is indeed the apple of my eye, and quite lovely. I’ve heard said
that she is the very image of myself when I was her age. Now, I feel it incumbent to hint that she
is likely to be very soon engaged. Tonight may be the night.

COLLINS:...Ah.

MRS. BENNETT: Now, of course, Lizzy is not nearly as lovely as Jane, but she certainly
is–pretty. She is clever enough and would be very well suited to the life of a parson’s wife.

COLLINS: Ahhhh…Thank you for the frank and candid discussion of this delicate topic.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 47

JANE: Everything is so beautiful. It’s good of you to throw a ball so soon after arriving in the
neighborhood.

BINGLEY: I do love a ball. Everyone is in their best, and old rivalries can be put aside for an
evening of fun.

JANE: What if the world’s problems could be solved by a night full of fine food, laughter, and
dancing?

BINGLEY: What a capital thought. Why go to war, when we might have a ball instead?

JANE: Hear, hear.

BINGLEY: When I speak to you–with you–there is a freedom I feel that I’m not sure how to
best–articulate. Except that it makes me–

JANE: Want to dance?

BINGLEY: Yes! You see, we think alike. Would you join me for a reel?

JANE: I’d be delighted.

COLLINS: Miss Bennett.

ELIZABETH: Mr. Collins.

COLLINS: My dear cousin. Forgive my intrusion, but I thought it prudent to inform you that I
have your dear mother’s maternal permission to dance with you tonight and, should the proper
feeling allow, pay you my special attention. For the whole of the evening.

ELIZABETH: I didn’t think you danced, sir.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 48

COLLINS: I have no objection to it, and Lady Catherine has said that I have been blessed with
an uncommon lightness. Of foot.

ELIZABETH: …Oh. Ah. You do me too great an honor sir. I should likely find my–

COLLINS: The reel is starting. Come, my dear cousin; you will find me to be a blithe and spirited
partner.

ELIZABETH: Erm…

DANCE BREAK, ALL MICS OFF

CHARLOTTE: You look well.

ELIZABETH: My toes say otherwise. Mr. Collins plans to pay me special attention throughout
the evening.

CHARLOTTE: There are worse things that could happen.

ELIZABETH: Are there?

CHARLOTTE: You seem to be the desired partner for several men this evening.

ELIZABETH: Why do you say that? Have you seen him?

CHARLOTTE: Who?

ELIZABETH: Wickham. Is he here?

CHARLOTTE: No. Was he to come tonight?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 49
ELIZABETH: I thought so. I had hoped so.

CHARLOTTE: He was not the man I meant.

ELIZABETH: Then, who–?

DARCY: Good evening.

ELIZABETH: Good evening.

DARCY: Might I have the pleasure of the next dance?

ELIZABETH: Yes, thank you. Did you mean–I just agreed to dance with him.

CHARLOTTE: You did.

ELIZABETH: Why?

CHARLOTTE: Why not?

ELIZABETH: I don’t want to.

CHARLOTTE: You may find him agreeable.

ELIZABETH: That would be the greatest misfortune of all–to find a man agreeable whom one is
determined to hate.

CHARLOTTE: Don’t be a goose.

ELIZABETH: Lottie–

CHARLOTTE: Don’t allow your fancy for Wickham to make you disagreeable in the eyes of a
man if then times his consequence.

ELIZABETH: Is that consequence material?

CHARLOTTE: What other kind is there?

ELIZABETH: Nothing is more important than his buckets of gold–

CHARLOTTE: Be nice.
DANCE BREAK, ONLY ELIZABETH AND DARCY MICS ON

ELIZABETH: It’s always a pleasure to hear a good fiddle. It’s your turn to say something now.
I’ve talked about the music, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the
room, or the number of couples.

DARCY: Do you always find it necessary to talk while dancing?

ELIZABETH: One must speak a little, to give the impression of enjoyment.

DARCY: …Do you and your sisters often walk to Meryton?

ELIZABETH: We do indeed. When you met us there the other day, we had just formed a new
acquaintance.

DARCY: Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his making friends.
Whether or not he may be equally capable of retaining them is less certain.

ELIZABETH: He’s been so unlucky as to lose your friendship.

DARCY: …What think you of books?

ELIZABETH: You once said that you hardly ever forgave. That your resentment, once created,
was unappeasable. You are very cautious, I suppose, as to it’s being created.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 51

DARCY: I am.

ELIZABETH: You never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice?

DARCY: May I ask to what these questions tend?

ELIZABETH: The illustration of your character.

DARCY: And what is your success?

ELIZABETH: I cannot say.

JANE: Oh, Lizzy… I can’t remember the last time I was so happy.

ELIZABETH: I’m so glad, dearest.

JANE: Mr. Bingley has spared no trouble or expense hosting this evening.

ELIZABETH: He’s been a fine host, to be sure. But how is he as a companion?

JANE: Pleasant. Warm. Sweet.

ELIZABETH: Like your favorite cake.

JANE: …I could do with another slice.

ELIZABETH: Jane!

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 52

MARY: O heart of mine that bleeds

That bleeds
Like a fountain
A fount from whence my sorrow feeds

O heart! He does not know you

O heart! Your beating wanes–

MR. BENNETT: That will do. You have delighted us long enough.

KITTY: Oh, Mary. Don’t be upset. I liked it very much.

MRS. BENNETT: It seems we are having a wedding, Miss Lucas.

CHARLOTTE: Indeed?

MRS. BENNETT: Yes. I believe Jane will marry Mr. Bingley, perhaps at the first of the new year.
They are so compatible, you see. She is beautiful, and he is quite well to do. Wouldn’t you
agree?

CHARLOTTE: They make for a very lovely couple.

MRS. BENNETT: I’ll do all I can to throw the younger girls in the way of other rich men. Perhaps
you and your mother will one day be as fortunate as Jane and I have been.

ELIZABETH: Mama. You speak too freely.

MRS. BENNETT: Oh, don’t be nonsensical.

ELIZABETH: They are not engaged. You cannot presume–

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 53

MRS. BENNETT: Hush. I know what I’m about.

ELIZABETH: Mr. Darcy can hear you.

MRS. BENNETT: What care I for Mr. Darcy?

ELIZABETH: For heaven’s sake, speak lower. What advantage can there be in offending him?

MRS. BENNETT: Let’s find your mother and tell her the good news.

DARCY: Bingley.

ELIZABETH: Did you hear–?

JANE: What?

ELIZABETH: Nothing, Nevermind. It’s as if the entire family agreed to humiliate themselves as
much as possible tonight.

JANE: It was lovely, wasn’t it?

KITTY: My poor little feet are worn out; I shall need new slippers.

LYDIA: You didn’t dance as much as I.

KITTY: I did too. I danced all night.

LYDIA: Not with nearly as many partners.

KITTY: How do you know you had more partners?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 54

LYDIA: I always have more partners. You are my elder sister, Kitty, but I suspect I shall marry
before you do. It’s simply the way of things.

ELIZABETH: I’m going for a walk.

MRS. BENNETT: Don’t stray too far from the house. You may have a visitor of particular
interest.

KITTY: Who?

LYDIA: Mr. Collins.

KITTY: But why would he visit? He’s staying here.

LYDIA: Why do you think Lizzy’s going out?

MRS. BENNETT: Lizzy? Did you hear me? Lizzy! Where is that girl?

WICKHAM: Miss Bennett.

ELIZABETH: Mr. Wickham. We miss your company at the ball last night.

WICKHAM: I’m sorry to have disappointed you. Colonel Forster has trusted me with a few small
responsibilities which could not be put aside last night. While I’m grateful for the Colonel’s
confidence, I would have much preferred to spend the evening with friends. Miss Bennett, I…
I’ve been thinking most seriously about bonnets. It seems that whenever I come across your
sisters in Meryton, there is much discussion of them.

ELIZABETH: Lydia has an affinity for hats of all kinds.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 55
WICKHAM: She told me her plans for a particularly soad-looking specimen; that she meant to
take it home and make it happy again.

ELIZABETH: If anyone can make a bonnet happy, it’s Lydia.

WICKHAM: I had no idea of the vast range of emotions belonging to bonnets. I could say the
same about myself. I haven’t had a great deal of joy in my life before coming to Meryton.

ELIZABETH: Meryton is happier for your being in it.

WICKHAM: I’m grateful for your society, Miss Bennett. Each morning I wake with the knowledge
that I might join you for a walk.

ELIZABETH: I feel very much the same. I wish I could erase the cruelty you have suffered.

WICKHAM: It’s hard to know if a man such as myself is built for joy or heartbreak. I don’t know
which I’m better suited to handle.

ELIZABETH: You deserve some happiness.

WICKHAM: I’m on the watch for it.

MRS.BENNETT: Lizzy? Ohhhh Lizzy!

ELIZABETH: I should probably go in.

WICKHAM: You should. But I’ll be here when you return.

COLLINS: May I hope, Mrs. Bennett, for your influence with your fair daughter Elizabeth, when I
solicit for the honor of a private audience over the course of the morning?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 56

MRS. BENNETT: Oh! Yes. Certainly. As soon as we find her. Lizzy.

ELIZABETH: Such a commotion. I was trying to–

MRS. BENNETT: Lizzy! Mr. Collins was kind enough to wait on you, Lizzy. He is desirous of
your company.

ELIZABETH: Mama, I–

MRS. BENNETT: Girls, upstairs.

LYDIA: But–

MRS. BENNETT: You too, Jane.

ELIZABETH: Mr. Collins can have nothing to say to me that anybody need not hear.

MRS. BENNETT: I insist upon your staying and hearing Mr. Collins.

ELIZABETH: Mama, don’t go. Jane! I beg you not to go.

JANE: I’m sorry, Lizzy.

COLLINS: My dear Miss Elizabeth, you should know that I have singled you out as the
companion for my future life. I think it a right thing for a clergyman to be the example for
matrimony in his parish; such is the particular recommendation of the very noble Lady Catherine
de Bourgh. Now nothing remains but for me to assure you of the violence of my affection.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 57

ELIZABETH: You are too hasty, sir. You forget that I’ve made no answer. Accept my thanks for
the compliment you’re paying me. But I must decline.

COLLINS: Heh heh. I know it is common for young ladies to reject the address of the man
whom they secretly mean to accept, when he first applies for their facor.

ELIZABETH: Sir?

COLLINS: I thank you for wishing to increase my love by suspense, according to the usual
practice of elegant females.

ELIZABETH: I assure you I’m not one of those young ladies–if such young ladies there are–who
dare risk their happiness on the chance of being proposed to a second time. As a rational
creature speaking the truth of her heart, I am perfectly serious in my refusal.
COLLINS: It is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may ever be made to you.

ELIZABETH: You could not make me happy, and I’m convinced that I’m the last woman in the
world who would make you so.

COLLINS: It is all right, my fair cousin; I am far from accusing you of cruelty at present.

ELIZABETH: I don’t know how to express my refusal in such a way as might convince you of its
being one.

COLLINS: You are uniformly charming.

CHARLOTTE: Lizzy? What’s wrong?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 58

CHARLOTTE: Good morning, Mr. Collins.

ELIZABETH: Of all the ridiculous–Jane? Has something happened?

JANE: He’s gone.

ELIZABETH: What?

CAROLINE: I don’t pretend to regret anything I shall leave in Hertfordshire, except you, my
dear. You’ve been so kind as to show me the very best of Meryton. However, my brother’s
business cannot be delayed. We are leaving for London today and will not return to Netherfield
this winter. Mr. Darcy is impatient to see his sister, as are we all. Charles already admires
Georgiana greatly, and I dare hope that she will one day soon be my sister. I remain, your
beloved friend, Caroline Bingley.

ELIZABETH: This is not from him.

JANE: Caroline neither expects nor wants me to be her sister.

ELIZABETH: No one who has seen you and Bingley together can doubt your affection.
JANE: Can I be happy, even supposing the best, in accepting a man whose sister and friends all
wish him to marry elsewhere?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 59

ELIZABETH: You must decide for yourself.

JANE: If he doesn’t return this winter… Oh, Lizzy. A Thousand things could happen in six
months.

ELIZABETH: I’m sorry, dearest.

JANE: Let’s tell Mama only that the family has left the neighborhood.

ELIZABETH: Mama believes you to be engaged.

JANE: There is no understanding between us. No proposals, no declarations. I have nothing

either to hope or fear from him.

ELIZABETH: Jane–

JANE: I won’t think ill of him. I can only wish him happy.

MRS. BENNETT: Lizzy?

ELIZABETH: I fear I may be responsible for the world crashing to a halt.

JANE: You had best start it turning again.

ELIZABETH: I will. Though hopefully in a new direction. Mama, did you call?

MRS. BENNETT: Did i call–? Oh! You will be the end of my nerves.

ELIZABETH: I cannot help that I care more for my heart than your nerves.

MRS. BENNETT: Selfish girl!

ELIZABETH: I cannot love Mr. Collins any more than my duty as his cousin will allow, and even
that affection is slight. There is nothing more to say on the matter.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 60
MRS. BENNETT: He will inherit this house, and we will have nothing when your father dies. You
will have nothing.

ELIZABETH: Let’s not speak of Papa’s demise too soon.

MRS. BENNETT: What about my demise? Your willfulness will be the death of me.

ELIZABETH: Then the rest of us might have some peace.

JANE: Lizzy.

ELIZABETH: I’m sorry.

MRS. BENNETT: Explain to me how yesterday I had two daughters so close to matrimony only
to discover I have none so today.

ELIZABETH. Mama!

MRS. BENNETT: Not a word from Mr. Bingley to explain his sudden departure—

JANE: He sent word.

MRS. BENNETT: Well.

JANE: He’s not as heartless as you would paint him.

MRS. BENNETT: Jane can’t be blamed for Mr. Bingley’s faults of character. You, on the other
hand, are the most foolish girl I ever set eyes on.

ELIZABETH: Would you have me wealthy and miserable?

MRS. BENNETT: I would have you comfortable. With a roof overhead and never an empty
table. Love is but taste; it fills your nostrils, not your belly.

ELIZABETH: Then let me starve.

MRS. BENNETT: Ridiculous, selfish–

MARY: Mr. Collins!

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 61

COLLINS: Good day, Miss Bennett, Mrs. Bennett, Miss Bennett, Miss Bennett. Miss Bennett.

MARY: We would love to hear a reading from Proverbs, should you care to–

MRS. BENNETT: Hush, Mary. Don’t bother the man. Are you all right, sir?

COLLINS: What? Me? Yes, I’m fine. Fine! Fit and well and– I did not think you would all be– I
thought I might go out for a bit of morning air.

MRS. BENNETT: Perhaps Lizzy might join you? She is, I believe, ready to revisit your proposal.

COLLINS: Oh! Yes. Erm. No. Thank you. Good morning.

ELIZABETH: Well I hope that is truly the end of–

MR. BENNETT: What is all this uproar?

LYDIA: Mama says you must make Lizzy marry Mr. Collins.

MR. BENNETT: I haven’t the pleasure of understanding you. What are you talking about?

KITTY: Lizzy and Mr. Collins.

LYDIA: Lizzy declares she will not have Mr. Collins–

ELIZABETH: I most assuredly will not.

KITTY: And Mr. Collins begins to say that he will not have Lizzy.

MR. BENNETT: And what am I to do on this occasion?

LYDIA: Insist upon her marrying him.

ELIZABETH: Lydia!

MRS. BENNETT: Lydia and I are of the same mind. You must do it, my dear. You must make
Lizzy marry Mr. Collins.
​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 62

MRS. BENNETT: This seems an affair of some importance.

ELIZABETH: That could be debated.

MR. BENNETT: Has our esteemed, vicar-shaped cousin made you an offer of marriage?

ELIZABETH: I’ve refused him.

MR. BENNETT: Your mother insists upon your accepting this proposal.

MRS. BENNETT: Yes! Or I will never see her again.

MR. BENNETT: An unhappy alternative is before you. From this day on you must be a stranger
to one of your parents. You mother will never see you again if you don’t marry Mr. Collins, and I
will never see you again if you do.

MRS. BENNETT: Oh!

ELIZABETH: Thank you, Papa.

MR. BENNETT: Now. you must all leave me to my book in peace.

KITTY: Mary, what are you staring at?

MARY: Nothing to concern you.

KITTY: Lydia, look.

MRS. BENNETT: If you take it into your head to go on refusing every offer of marriage in this
way, you will never get a husband at all.

LYDIA: Mr. Collins hasn’t even left the garden.

KITTY: Perhaps he’s changed his mind.

MRS. BENNETT: I’ll hear no more of him. Where is the bell? Someone ring for a cold compress.

ELIZABETH: Mama, please.

KITTY: He’s picking the violets.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 63

MRS. BENNETT: He can strew them on my grave.

MARY: He’s giving them to– Oh.

LYDIA: Never mind, it’s no one.

KITTY: Just Charlotte.

CHARLOTTE: Good morning.

MRS. BENNETT: Ugh. There is no such thing.

CHARLOTTE: Has something happened?

MRS. BENNETT: Ask that ungrateful creature.

ELIZABETH: What nice violets.

CHARLOTTE: A sweet accompaniment to my good news. I wanted you to be the first to know.
I’m engaged.

MRS. BENNETT: What a blessing you are to your mother.

ELIZABETH: Who is the lucky gentleman?

CHARLOTTE: Mr. Collins/

MRS. BENNETT: Oh, my dear. How can you tell such a story? Everyone knows that Mr. Collins
wants to marry Lizzy.

ELIZABETH: He proposed to you?

CHARLOTTE: Since his arrival we have spent a good deal of time together, talking. Just a little
bit ago, he professed his affections and we’re to be married.

MRS. BENNETT: So this is what betrayal feels like.

CHARLOTTE: Mrs. Bennett–

MRS. BENNETT: Excuse me, but I must retire. Any moment now my nerves shall give out
completely.

CHARLOTTE: She thinks I’ve stolen from her. And by the state of her flower beds…

ELIZABETH: You can’t want it. To marry him.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 64

CHARLOTTE: Why should you be so surprised? Marriage has always been my object.

ELIZABETH: But that ridiculous man? Impossible. He’s odious and irksome–

CHARLOTTE: He will be my husband. Can it be so incredible that he should procure another

woman’s opinion despite losing yours?

ELIZABETH: No, but–

CHARLOTTE: You think you’re too good for him. For us both. Perhaps you’re too good for
marriage altogether.

ELIZABETH: Everything comes down to marriage and money. Money and marriage. Property
that passes from father to son, but not father to daughter. The expectation to marry–that it’s the
only way to secure one’s financial and social future–weights so heavy. Why can’t we just live?

CHARLOTTE: I can’t afford to think that way. Father has a title, but not much else. I’m not
getting any younger. I can’t refuse a good living on a whim.

ELIZABETH: But you would marry on a whim.

CHARLOTTE: Mr. Collins is well off and well intentioned. My chance of happiness with him is as
fair as it is with anyone.

ELIZABETH: I’m sorry, Charlotte. I didn’t mean to– You will be so happy, running your own
household, and managing it very well.

CHARLOTTE: What greater happiness is there?

ELIZABETH: I can think of none.

CHARLOTTE: You’ll have to come and stay with us: Rosings Park, I’m told, is quite a sight to
see.

ELIZABETH: Jane…

JANE: I shall visit Aunt Gardiner and help tend her little ones.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 65

ELIZABETH: London.

JANE: It sounds too inviting to ignore.

ELIZABETH: Because Bingley is there.

JANE: No.

ELIZABETH: If he is still in town, he might call.

JANE: I shan’t hope too much. I’ll visit his sister, and perhaps… I must steel myself. Lizzy. I
have to– I must forget him. You doubt me; indeed you have no reason. Soon enough he will be
a charming memory and nothing more.

ELIZABETH: Dearest–

JANE: I will miss you. Write to me about all your adventures with Mr. Wickham.

ELIZABETH: And if you should indeed see Mr. Bingley?

JANE: I’ll wish him well, and hope he feels the same for me.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ End Act One

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 66
 Act Two

CHARLOTTE: My dear Lizzy, the parsonage is a cozy little spot in which to build our nest. The
furniture, neighborhood, and roads are all to my taste, and Lady Catherine has been most
friendly and obliging. Now that we are settled, we so look forward to your making use of our
spare room. You can’t fully understand the joy of running your own home until you find yourself
in the midst of it.

ELIZABETH: This is lovely. You’ll be very happy here.

CHARLOTTE: I plan to be. Remember? I’ve planned everything.

COLLINS: My dear cousin! What felicity, what ecstasy, what glorious verisimilitude it is to have
you here with us in our humble abode. I’m sure you will be please by the good aspect of the
sitting room, which is particularly fine and well furnished. The proportions, I will have you know,
are quite perfect in that room. You must see the shelves in the upstairs closets. Oh, and the
garden! I alone am responsible for its cultivation and improvement. MY dear wife has been so
good as to make me a special vest and apron for my toil in the soil. Please, do make yourself at
home, cousin. What meager blessings we have, we have to share. Ohhhhhh, my dear! My dear!

CHARLOTTE: What? What is it? Did the pigs get out again?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 67

COLLINS: No, not the pigs. It’s the phaeton.

ELIZABETH: The phaeton–?

CHARLOTTE: Lady Catherine is driving by.

COLLINS: The highlight of our humble days! Such a sight. It never grows old. They are both
exceedingly fine to look upon, are they not? All the latest fashions and notions…Your ladyship!
What an ebullient boon it is to see you!

ELIZABETH: Was that her daughter? She is so very small. Oh, she will make him very happy,
I’m sure.

CHARLOTTE: Who?
ELIZABETH: Isn’t Miss de Bourgh intended for Mr. Darcy?

CHARLOTTE: Indeed. Perhaps that’s the reason for his sour expression?

COLLINS: We;ve been invited to dine at Rosings!

ELIZABETH: …Oh. Splendid.

COLLINS: Don’t make yourself uneasy, my dear cousin, about your apparel. Put on whatever of
your clothes is superior to the rest; there is no occasion for anything more.

ELIZABETH: What a relief.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 68

LADY CATHERINE:Miss Bennett.

ELIZABETH: Your Ladyship.

LADY CATHERINE: You father’s estate is entailed on Mr. Collins, I think.

ELIZABETH: It is.

LADY CATHERINE: Hmm. Do you play and sing?

ELIZABETH: A little.

LADY CATHERINE: We shall be happy to hear you, then. Do your sisters play and sing?

ELIZABETH: One of them does.

LADY CATHERINE: Why did you not all learn? The Miss Webbs all play, and their father has not
so good an income as yours. Do you draw?

ELIZABETH: No, not at all.

LADY CATHERINE: What, none of you?

ELIZABETH: Not one.

LADY CATHERINE: I suppose you had no opportunity. Has your governess left you?

ELIZABETH: We never had any governess–

LADY CATHERINE: No governess! How is that possible?

DARCY: Pardon me, Aunt, but this line of questioning might be seen as impertinent.

LADY CATHERINE: Five daughters brought without a governess! I never heard of such a thing.
Are any of your younger sisters out in society?

ELIZABETH: Yes, madam; all.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 69

LADY CATHERINE: All five out at once? Very odd. The younger ones out before the elder ones
are married! Your younger sisters must be very young.

ELIZABETH: It’s very hard on younger sisters to not have their share of society and
amusement, because the elder mightn’t have the means or inclination to marry.

LADY CATHERINE: You give your opinion very decidedly for so young a person. What is your
age?

ELIZABETH: With three younger sisters grown up, you Ladyship can hardly expect me to own it.

COLLINS: Ohhhhhh…

LADY CATHERINE: It’s time for cards, do you not think? Quadrille, Mr. Collins?

COLLINS: With great pleasure, your Ladyship.

ELIZABETH: Mr. Darcy.

DARCY: Miss Bennett. This is my cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam.

ELIZABETH: Colonel.

FITZWILLIAM: Miss Bennett.

DARCY: I didn’t expect to see you here.

ELIZABETH: I’m visiting the Collinses.

DARCY: Yes.

ELIZABETH: Yes. Have you come from town? Did you happen to see Jane there?

DARCY: …I can’t say that I did, no. Is she well?

ELIZABETH: Enough.

FITZWILLIAM: It’s good to finally make your acquaintance, Miss Bennett, as I’ve only heard
stories of your beauty before now.

ELIZABETH: You have me confused with someone else; I know myself to be no nore than
tolerable.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 70

LADY CATHERINE: What are you saying, Fitzwilliam? What are you telling Miss Bennett? Let
me hear what it is.

FITZWILLIAM: Music, madam.

LADY CATHERINE: Ah! Music is my one true delight. If I had learned to play, I would have been
a great proficient. So would Anne, had her health allowed.

ELIZABETH: I have no doubt.

LADY CATHERINE: How is Georgiana?

DARCY: Very well. Her considerable talent for the pianoforte has blossomed over these past
months.

LADY CATHERINE: She cannot expect to excel unless she practices a great deal.

DARCY: She practices constantly.

LADY CATHERINE: Miss Bennett.

ELIZABETH: Erm… Yes, your Ladyship.

LADY CATHERINE: Do you practice?

ELIZABETH: Not constantly.

LADY CATHERINE: Aha! Excellence in music connect be acquired without constant practice.
I’ve told Mrs. Collins she is very welcome to come to Rosings every day and play the pianoforte
in the housekeeper’s room. She would be in nobody’s way, you know, in that part of the house.
Play for us, Miss Bennett.

ELIZABETH: Oh, no. I play very little, as I said, and well–not well.

LADY CATHERINE: There it is. I’m waiting.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 71

ELIZABETH: Do you mean to frighten me?

DARCY: I entertain no designs of alarming you.

ELIZABETH: I know you are comparing my playing to your sister’s, and I know hers to be better.

DARCY: Your playing is more than sufficient.

ELIZABETH: Someone I know would call that “acknowledging with prudence.”

DARCY: I’ve had the pleasure of your acquaintance long enough to know that you find great
enjoyment in occasionally professing opinions that are not your own.

ELIZABETH: Your cousin will give you a very pretty notion of me, Colonel, and teach you not to
believe a word I say. Indeed, Mr. Darcy, you have provoked me to retaliate, and such things may
come out, as will shock your relations to hear.

DARCY: I’m not afraid of you.

FITZWILLIAM: Let me hear your accusations. How does he behave among strangers?

ELIZABETH: Prepare yourself for something very dreadful. The first time I ever saw him was at
a ball. And at this ball, what do you think he did? He danced only four dances, though
gentlemen were scarce and more than one young lady was in want of a partner.

DARCY: I did not know anyone in the assembly beyond my own party.

ELIZABETH: And no one can ever be introduced in a ballroom.

DARCY: I am ill-qualified to recommend myself to strangers.

ELIZABETH: Shall we ask your cousin the reason for this? Why a man of sense and education,
and who has lived in the world, is ill-qualified to recommend himself to strangers?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 72

DARCY: I haven’t the talent which some people possess: of conversing easily with those I have
never seen before.

ELIZABETH: I’m not the only one hasn’t taken the trouble to practice.

DARCY: You’re perfectly right. No one who has the pleasure of speaking with you can think
anything wanting. Neither of us perform to strangers.

ELIZABETH: I can converse with strangers; some might say I’m almost accomplished at it.
However, speaking to someone I have already met–that is much more difficult.

DARCY: It does not seem to trouble you at the moment.

ELIZABETH: I’m not trying terribly hard to be polite.

LADY CATHERINE: Darcy. Anne needs you.

ELIZABETH: Mrs. Collins tells me you are leaving before the week is out.

FITZWILLIAM: Darcy arranges the business as he pleases. He wants to see his sister, and I
merely follow.

ELIZABETH: I don’t know anybody who enjoys more the power of doing what he likes/

FITZWILLIAM: He is rich, it’s true. But I think you misjudge his character. He is a good friend
who seldom thinks of himself.

ELIZABETH: You would say that, being his cousin.

FITZWILLIAM: I say it knowing him better than you. I’ll give you an example. Recently, a good
friend of Darcy’s–

ELIZABETH: Yourself?

FITZWILLAIM: No. An affable fellow he knows from school. A Mr. Bingley.

ELIZABETH: You know Mr. Bingley?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 73

FITZWILLIAM: I’ve met him once or twice. An upright fellow. I have reason to think Bingley is
especially indebted to Darcy, as he recently found himself in quite the scrape.

ELIZABETH: What is it you mean?

FITZWILLIAM: An imprudent relationship that would have turned to matrimony if not for Darcy’s
interference.

ELIZABETH: Did Mr/ Darcy give you any reason for the interference?

FITZWILLIAM: I understand that there were some very strong objections against the lady and
her family. Forgive me Miss Bennett. Are you unwell?

ELIZABETH: You’re not the one in need of my forgiveness.

CHARLOTTE: Lizzy?

ELIZABETH: Please give her Ladyship my regrets. I–I’m sorry, but I have a terrible headache
that I fear will make me poor company this evening.

COLlINS: A hand whist will surely cure you. Though Lady Catherine does enjoy to win.

CHARLOTTE: My dear, if Lizzy is ill, we can’t force her to stay.

ELIZABETH: Mr. Darcy.

DARCY: Miss Bennett: I wanted to– Mrs. Collins told me you were unwell. Pray, how is your
headache?

ELIZABETH: …Not quite gone, I’m afraid.

DARCY: I’m sorry to hear it.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 74

DARCY: Perhaps…Good evening. In vain have I struggled. It won’t do. My feelings will not be
repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. No one is more
shocked at this turn of events than myself, especially given the very different circumstances of
your family and my own. However, despite the degradation I might suffer, I feel compelled to
express my devotion to you.

ELIZABETH: O–I…

DARCY: I have, for some months now, endeavored to overcome my feelings. But I have failed.
Therefore I willingly surrender, and I ask that you do me the honor of accepting my hand. Miss
Bennett?

ELIABETH: You–surrender?

DARCY: Yes.

ELIZABETH: I am amazed. If I could feel gratitude for the expression of such feelings, I would
thank you. But I cannot. I have never desired your good opinion, and you have bestowed it most
unwillingly. I am sorry to have occasioned pain to anyone. It has been most unconsciously done,
and I hope it will be of short duration.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 75

DARCY: Is this all the reply I am to have?

ELIZABETH: Your design in offending and insulting me is evident. Why else would you choose
to tell me you like me against your will, against your reason, and even against your character?

DARCY: Should I celebrate the lowness of your connections?

ELIZABETH: Must you go out of your way to mention it?

DARCY: I only wish to be honest.

ELIZABETH: Might I do the same?

DARCY: Please.

ELIZABETH: I have every reason in the world to think ill of you. Do you think that any
consideration would tempt me to accept the man who has been the means of ruining, perhaps
forever, the happiness of a most beloved sister? No motive can excuse the unjust and
ungenerous part you acted there.

DARCY: No motive but friendship.

ELIZABETH: You cannot deny that you divided them from each other, imposing on them both
misery of the acutest kind.

DARCY: I’ve no wish to deny that I did everything in my power to separate my friend from your
sister. I have been kinder to him than myself.

ELIZABETH: Because you allowed yourself to offer your hand to someone as unworthy as I?
Never have I witnessed such a terrible self-loathing.

DARCY: You mistake me.

ELIZABETH: No. I have known your true self since we first met, and my opinion of your
character was further decided upon hearing words of Mr. Wickham.

DARCY: You take and eager interest in that gentleman’s concerns.

ELIZABETH: I know his misfortunes–

DARCY: His misfortunes! Yes, they have been great indeed.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 76

ELIZABETH: And of your infliction. You have reduced him to his present state of poverty,
withoolding the advantages which you must know to have been designed for him.

DARCY: What was designed for him–?

ELIZABETH: You have done this! Yet you can treat the mention of his misfortunes with
contempt.

DARCY: And this is your opinion of me. Thank you for explaining it so fully. My faults are heavy
indeed. But perhaps these offenses might have been overlooked, had not your pride–

ELIZABETH: My pride?

DARCY: –Had not your pride been hurt by the fact that I have misgivings about your family. Can
you expect me to congratulate myself on the hope of relations whose condition in life is so
decidedly beneath my own?

ELIZABETH: I might have felt some concern in refusing had you behaved in a more
gentleman-like manner.

DARCY: Miss Bennett–

ELIZABETH: You could not have made me the offer of your hand in any possible way that would
have tempted me to accept it.

DARCY: You have said quite enough, madam–

ELIZABETH: I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world
whom I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.

DARCY: Forgive me for taking so much of your time.

JANE: My dear Mr. Bingley, I hope you will forgive me for writing. I’ve been in London some
weeks and have called on your sister, but have not yet encountered the fortune of seeing you.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 77

BINGLEY: Miss Bennett, if I could properly express to you– Testify to you– Confess to you–

JANE: I hope town is as diverting for you as it is for me.

BINGLEY: If I might convey to you the true feelings of my troubled– Troubled– Of my fevered
–No, that’s not it.

JANE: My aunt is showing me the sights, indulging my love for rambles in the parks, as they
remind me of home.

BINGLEY: No, no… Um…Many would say that London would offer a variety of excitements after
a quiet sojourn in the country.

JANE: I see monuments and buildings and I wonder what you might say of them if you were
with me.

BINGLEY: To the contrary, I find that I miss the serenity and open spaces I had grown so
accustomed to at Netherfield.

JANE: How I wish I could lean upon your friendship.

BINGLEY. How I wish things had not been left as they were.

JANE: How many chances do we have to experience such feelings?

BINGLEY: If only–

JANE: Perhaps–

JANE AND BINGLEY: No.

CAROLINE: Are you writing to Miss Darcy?

BINGLEY: No. No one.

CAROLINE: We should invite her to dine with us tomorrow. Perhaps you can persuade her
elusive brother to join us.

BINGLEY: Caroline… How do you know?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 78.

CAROLINE: Know?

BINGLEY: When a feeling grows into something else altogether?

CAROLINE: You nurture it and watch it. It will either bloom or not. At some point, you need to
trust that it will take root. Or else tear it out and begin again.

DARCY: Miss Bennett. Good morning.

ELIZABETH: Good morning.

DARCY: …Will you do me the honor of reading this?

ELIZABETH: “Dear Madam, I write to answer the two offenses you have laid to my charge. First,
that I detached Mr. Bingley from your sister; and second, that I’ve ruined the immediate
prosperity and prospects of Mr. Wickham.”

ELIZABETH AND DARCY: “I had not been long in Hertfordshire–”

DARCY: –Before I saw that Bingley preferred your elder sister to any other young woman in the
country. But it was not till evening of the dance at Netherfield that I had any apprehension of his
feeling a serious attachment.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 79

DARCY: At that ballI observed my friend’s behavior carefully. Almost instantly I knew his feelings
for her were greater than I had anticipated. Your sister I also watched.

—
—
—Darcy goes on for two and a half pages, next cue is after he crosses to Wickham (Paul) and
says the following line:

DARCY: Regard for my sister’s feelings prevented any public exposure; and Mr. Wickham left
the place immediately.This is a faithful narrative of every event in which we have been
concerned together. I will only add, God bless you. I remain, Fitzwilliam Darcy.

ELIZABETH: How could I have been so deceived?

CHARLOTTE: How was your walk?

ELIZABETH: Was I gone so long?

CHARLOTTE: Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam each called for you while you were out. How
you gone and bewitched them both?

ELIZABETH: …I should go home.

CHARLOTTE: Lizzy–

ELIZABETH: Aunt Gardiner has been planning for months to travel to the Lake District. She is
constantly writing and asking me to go along. This might be an ideal time to go.

CHARLOTTE: Lady Catherine will try to persuade yo uto stay at Rosings; I believe she’s taken a
liking to you.

ELIZABETH: I doubt it.

CHARLOTTE: You haven’t been yourself the last few days.

ELIZABETH: Till this moment. I never knew myself.

CHARLOTTE: Then perhaps you should seize the moment. Lizzy. The Colonel waited for you
for nearly half an hour. I think he likes you. Quite a bit, actually. If you were to stay, he might
make you an offer. Wouldn’t it be worth it to trade a family excursion for a honeymoon?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 82

ELIZABETH: No. It’s good of you to think of me, my dear friend. And the Colonel is a good man.
A very good man. But he is not for me.

CHARLOTTE: Is there someone else?

ELIZABETH: I have always prided myself on my discernment; and yet–it’s a gift I don’t possess.
My behavior has been shameful.

CHARLOTTE: Never.

ELIZABETH: It’s true. Unlike Jane, who so easily thinks the best of everyone, I have to search
out and relish the worst. I have courted prejudice and ignorance, and driven reason away where
either was concerned. I’m completely humiliated.

CHARLOTTE. Mr. Darcy.

ELIZABETH: I don’t know that I can face him again.

CHARLOTTE: Which means you likely should.

ELIZABETH: No. That book is closed, though with a different ending that I anticipated.

CHARLOTTE: Perhaps you haven’t quite arrived at the proper ending?

ELIZABETH: Thank you, Charlotte. For everything.

CHARLOTTE: …Come again soon.

JANE: Lizzy!

ELIZABETH: Oh, Jane. It’s so good to see you.

JANE: You’re tired.

ELIZABETH: I had the most peculiar time.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 83

JANE: Was Lady Catherine as overwhelming as we thought?

ELIZABETH: She is an extremely impressive person. And Mr. Collins, as you well recall, is
extremely impressed.

JANE: That doesn’t sound too peculiar.

ELIZABETH: The strange bit involved, well… Mr. Darcy.

JANE: Mr. Darcy!

ELIZABETH: He proposed.

JANE: To whom? To you!? What did you say?

ELIZABETH: Too many things. Chief among them– No.

JANE: Oh. Are you certain?

ELIZABETH: Can you ask that? Honestly?

JANE: You don’t seem particularly relieved.

ELIZABETH: I treated him with such disdain. I threw Wickham in his face, and it happens–it
happens Mr. Darcy was right. You were both right. Wickham is a rake. I should have seen it, but
that smile…

JANE: Poor Mr. Darcy. Think what he must have suffered. Such a disappointment! And to
couple that memory with your rejection…

ELIZABETH: Do you think I should tell anyone?

JANE: About Wickham?

ELIZABETH: Mr. Darcy gave no indication that I should. He is protecting his sister, and I will
respect that.
JANE: Soon enough Wickham will be gone, and it won’t matter to anyone here.

LYDIA: You’ve come home at last! I meant to treat you all to a nice luncheon in Meryton, but you
will have to lend me the money, Lizzy, as I just spent all mine on a bonnet.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 84

KITTY: An ugly thing it is, too.

LYDIA: It’s true, it’s not very pretty; but I thought I might as well but it.

KITTY: She means to pull it to pieces.

LYDIA: I will! And won’t it look finer than ever? Oh, but I have the most interesting news–

KITTY: Capital news!

LYDIA: It’s about a certain person that we all like.

ELIZABETH: Perhaps it’s not as interesting as you first thought.

JANE: Isn’t it?

ELIZABETH: No.

LYDIA: You two are no fun! It’s about dear Wickham.

JANE: And what is this news of yours exactly?

LYDIA: There is no danger in his marrying Mary King.

JANE: Was htere? A danger?

LYDIA: Since Lizzy had been gone, they two have been thick as thieves. But Miss King has
gone down to her uncle in Liverpool. Wickham is safe!

ELIZABETH: And Mary King is safe!

LYDIA: She was a great fool to go away if she liked him. I wouldn’t abandon him.
JANE: I hope there is no strong attachment on either side.

LYDIA:I’m sure there’s not on his. I will answer for it, as he told me he never cared three straws
about her. Who could care about such a nasty little freckled thing?

KITTY: Mama always says my freckles are charming.

LYDIA: Well, they’re not going to go away, so best to make them charming if you can. You’ll see
Wickham when you next walk to Meryton. I thought you’d like to know he is free.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 85

JANE: Oh, Lizzy is quite thrilled.

ELIZABETH: Indeed. I’m overwhelmed with thrill.

KITTY: Mary, you should have come with us. It was such fun.

LYDIA: We talked and laughed so loud anybody might have heard us ten miles off.

MARY: Far be it for me to depreciate such pleasures. But I confess: I prefer the quiet of a book.

MRS. BENNETT: Reading is just about the worst thing you can do to your complexion. It turns
you positively sallow. Lizzy, you’re home again!

ELIZABETH: It’s good to be home.

JANE: Very much so.

LYDIA: Oh, I cannot bear being in this place. It’s dull as Grandmama’s silver around here.

ELIZABETH: At least you have the regiment to keep you company.

MRS. BENNETT: Oh, my dearest child. I know, I know.

ELIZABETH: What is it now?

MARY: You mentioned the regiment.

ELIZABETH: She usually speaks of little else.

KITTY: Not anymore. They’re leaving.

ELIZABETH: Leaving?

JANE: It’s true; they’re moving to Brighton within the week. Including a certain young man in
particular.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 86

ELIZABETH: Oh, thank goodness.

LYDIA: Papa, might I go to Brighton with the regiment?

ELIZABETH: Don’t be ridiculous.

LYDIA: It’s not ridiculous. I’m good friends with Colonel Forster’s wife, and she is only a year
older than I. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she wants me to go as her companion.

MRS. BENNETT: Mrs. Forster would be blessed to have you as a companion.

MR. BENNETT: …Well…

ELIZABETH: Papa, no. Who knows what scrape she’ll get herself into?

LYDIA: I won’t! Mama.

MRS. BENNETT: Colonel Forster is such a sensible man, my dear. Surely we can trust our
daughter to his supervision.

ELIZABETH: Papa, if you were aware–

MRS. BENNETT: An invitation from someone like Mrs. Forster can’t be ignored. What will
people think of us?

ELIZABETH: Hopefully that we think before we act.

MR. BENNETT: Lizzy, I know you mean well. But Lydia will never be easy till she has made an
exhibition of herself in some public place or another.

KITTY: I can exhibit myself too!

ELIZABETH: If you don’t stop her now, Lydia will, at the age of sixteen, be the most determined
flirt that ever made herself and her family ridiculous.

MR. BENNETT: We shall have no peace if she does not go. Mary, perhaps you also would enjoy
a fortnight in Brighton?

LYDIA: So I may go?

MR. BENNETT: You may. You must heed the Colonel as if he were me, and be mindful of those
around you.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 87

LYDIA: Oh, I will. I will! Thank you, Papa.

KITTY: Thank you, Papa.

MR. BENNETT: No.

JANE: Lydia can be silly, it’s true. But surely she won’t do anything altogether too mortifying.

ELIZABETH: We can only hope.

JANE: What’s there to do in Brighton but look at the seashore? She’ll be bored and restless
within the first few days. The regiment will have too much work to do to pay her any mind.

ELIZABETH: You haven’t said a word about London. Did you see anyone of our particular
acquaintance?

JANE: No. I didn’t.

ELIZABETH: Jane.

JANE: It’s all right. It doesn’t bother me, I promise.

ELIZABETH: You don’t have to pretend–

JANE: I wish to look back on his friendship as a highlight; it would be a greater pain to forget the
memory entirely than to glance at it from time to time.
ELIZABETH: You should come with Aunt Gardiner and me. Nothing but peace and solitude at
the lakes.

JANE: Home is a better fit for me at the moment. I will find the quiet, or it will find me. I’m not the
best company at present.

ELIZABETH: You’re always the best company.

JANE: Be sure to write.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 88

ELIZABETH: Oh, Jane. If ink and paper could fully express to you the events of today. I’m so
astonished that I cannot quite believe the truth of them. To begin, as you will likely note form the
address on this missive, we forfeited our original plans to visit the Lake District in favor of
Lambton, the village where our aunt had lived as a child. Lambton, you see is quite close to–

ELIZABETH AND JANE: Pemberley.

ELIZABETH: Mr. Darcy’s family home. Our aunt said,

JANE: “I would so love to see it again. Such a fine, old house. Mr. Wickham was raised there,
you know.”

ELIZABETH: But what of the family? I would rather bot inconvenience them–

JANE: “The owner is not at home. The housekeeper will show us the rooms, and the gardens.”

ELIZABETH: So to Pemberley we went, Oh, Jane. Such a house. Plainer than Rosings; and yet,
somehow more grand. To think that once it was offered to me, and I refused it… To live within
those rooms… I can now only wonder at the possibility.

JANE: “Is this not the likeness of Mr. Darcy? He does have a handsome face.”

ELIZABETH: The housekeeper asked if I knew Mr. Darcy. I blushed, Jane. I couldn’t hide it. My
cheeks burned as I said I knew him but a little.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 89

ELIZABETH: The things I said to him– The venom I once spat at him– It’s impossible that he
should still love me. Vut to see his home, Jane–to feel the affection of his father in every room,
the admiration of his sister in every hall– That house is not merely impressive. It is good. As he
is. The housekeeper showed me Miss Darcy’s pianoforte, and I imagined that girl, only Lydia’s
age, nearly lost forever, and how upset her poor brother must have been at the news. We left
the house intent on returning to the inn when the most incredible–

DARCY: Miss Elizabeth Bennett.

JANE: Oh!

ELIZABETH: Mr. Darcy.

ELIZABETH: We were– I was just– DARCY: Would you care to–

DARCY: It’s good to see you.

ELIZABETH: And you. I’m sorry to disturb. The housekeeper said you were away–

DARCY: Please don’t apologize. I’m simply home earlier than expected.

ELIZABETH: Indeed.

DARCY: How do you find the house?

ELIZABETH: It exceeds expectation. You have some very fine– books.

DARCY: Would you like to borrow one? Or a few?

ELIZABETH: I hate to impose.

DARCY: I would be glad if you made use of them. Wordsworth.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 90

ELIZABETH: …I should rejoin my aunt.

DARCY: Would it be wrong of me to hope that you might return and dine here tomorrow? With
me? Your aunt is welcome to join us, of course.

ELIZABETH: She would like that very much.

DARCY: I look forward to it. Good evening, Miss Bennett.

ELIZABETH: Good evening. Oh, Jane. I am all confusion. He is so different from the man we
first met so many months ago. Warm and affable. Humble, even. I believe I enjoyed his
company. Our aunt went so far as to say,

JANE: “To be sure he is not so handsome as Wickham, but his features are perfectly good. But
how did you come to find him so disagreeable?”

ELIZABETH: I had no answer, Jane. None at all.

JANE: My dear Lizzy, something of a most unexpected and serious nature has occurred,
throwing our little world into much disarray. An express message from Colonel Forster arrived at
twelve last night. Its contents shocked all of us– except for Kitty, to whom such events were not
wholly unexpected.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 91

LYDIA: Dear Kitty, Wickham and I are on our way to Scotland. We love each other deeply, and
he makes me laugh as no one else can. Say nothing to anyone as long as you can help it.
Especially Lizzy, for she still fancies herself in love with my dear Wickham. Get yourself a soldier
Kitty; there are none finer. Such fun we’ll have together, he and I! Wish me all the best, as I’m off
to marry before any of my sisters.

JANE: What are we to do?

DARCY: Miss Bennett?

ELIZABETH: I must find my aunt.

DARCY: You’re not well enough to–

ELIZABETH: I must go. This business cannot be delayed–

DARCY: Allow me to send for her. You’re unwell; sit a moment. Just a moment. What has
happened?

ELIZABETH: You were right. And I should have– Lydia has run off.
DARCY: Wickham.

ELIZABETH: My father has gone to London in hopes of finding them before they make for
Scotland, but chances are slim and– She has no money, no connections. She is lost forever.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 92

DARCY: I knew who he was–what he was–and I kept silent, I thought for the security of my own
family.

ELIZABETH: No. I should have dared speak up. But there is nothing to be done now. Hope is
lost. I must go home.

DARCY: …Of course. You must.

WICKHAM: You understand, of course, that this must be seen to at once.

LYDIA: I do love how important you are. Of course you must see to your business immediately.
But we’ll be able to leave for Scotland soon, won’t we?

WICKHAM: Of course. It will put a few extra guineas in my pocket and–

LYDIA: Oh! I would love to have a new bonnet. A wedding bonnet.

WICKHAM: A new bonnet you shall have, and a gown to go with it. Until later, my love.

LYDIA: Don’t be long.

WICKHAM: How can I be?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 93

DARCY: In a hurry, are you?

WICKHAM: Darcy. I didn’t know you were in town.

DARCY: Just a spot of business to take care of. Loose ends to tie up. Musch like yourself, I’m
sure.
WICKHAM: Indeed.

DARCY: Though I was fairly certain you were engaged for this afternoon. Such a special day.

WICKHAM: Is there something you want?

DARCY: I want to see you happily married.

WICKHAM: How times have changed.

DARCY: Not as much as I would like. Shall we go int?

WICKHAM: You’re joking.

DARCY: I don’t know how. I have no sense of humor, I’m told.

WICKHAM: Now see here–

DARCY: Mark this, brother; today is a day of joy and gladness for us all. But for you especially.

LYDIA: That was quick. I knew you couldn’t keep away.

WICKHAM: My dear, you may recall meeting Mr. Darcy.

DARCY: Miss Ben–Madan.

LYDIA. Yes. Mr. Bingley’s stony friend without a care for dancing. What brings you to London?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 94

DARCY: I heard a happy rumor that you were soon to be married. Since I was in town, I thought
to call and wish you joy.

LYDIA: It’s true, we are! We’re eloping. It’s such fun.

DARCY: If you will grant me the pleasure, I have a special gift for you both. Scotland is so far
away. I thought you might want to marry closer to home, and share your happiness with your
dear family, sooner rather than later. I know they would thrill at the chance to see you before you
head north.

WICKHAM: North?
DARCY: You’ve a new commission, as an ensign for General Howard presently stationed in
Newcastle. It‘s a good position, with a steady income. The general looks with favor upon officers
responsible enough to marry.

LYDIA: Darling! You said nothing of your promotion.

DARCY: There is a quaint little chapel just a short walk from here. I’ve already spoken with the
vicar. Everything is arranged. Think of how pleased your mother will be.

LYDIA: Please? She will be ecstatic! Oh, let’s do it, Wickham. Marry today and surprise my
mother with a visit tomorrow.

WICKHAM: We have no one to stand with up–

DARCY: It would be my unmistakable pleasure to stand up with you in church.

MRS. BENNETT: What have I done to deserve this misery? To lose my home–

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 95

KITTY: Papa is still alive, at least–

MRS. BENNETT: And my children–

KITTY: Four of us are still at home, Mama.

MRS. BENNETT: But my adorable, incorrigible, carefree Lydia! Ruined forever. Tainted by that
wolf in sheep’s clothing. I knew he was dirty the moment he came into our home. Dirty. I knew it.

MARY: “How quick the descent from thoughtlessness to vice.”

MRS. BENNETT: If he doesn’t marry her, your father will have to fight him in a duel, and be
killed. Then we shall lose the house to the Collinses for certain. Andwhere will we be then?

MR. BENNETT: There will be no duels.

MRS. BENNETT: But you must defend her honor.

MR. BENNETT: I haven’t the strength. I’ve searched Brighton, I’ve searched London. I don’t
know if I should go to Scotland– if they can yet be found, of if I can even bear to find them.
MRS. BENNETT: But how else will you make him marry her?

MR. BENNETT: Wouldn’t that mean opening our door to further disaster?

LYDIA: Yoohoo, Mama! It’s the first bride of Longbourn.

MRS. BENNETT: Bride? Did you say bride? Oh, such felicity! My littlest daughter is married at
sixteen!

LYDIA: It was a small service, and pity you could not all be there. Oh, well. You should come
with us to Newcastle, at least for a little bit. I’m sure I could catch you a lieutenant. Kitty?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 96

MR. BENNETT: No.

LYDIA: But Papa–

MR. BENNETT: No. I forbid it.

LYDIA: Don’t you wish to see your daughters as happily married as I am?

MR. BENNETT: I wish to see my daughters happy, yes; but not married as you are.

MRS. BENNETT: Now, Mr. Bennett–

MR. BENNETT: No officer will ever enter my house again, nor even pass through the village.
BAlls will be absolutely prohibited. And you, Kitty, are never to stir out of doors until you can
prove that you have spent ten minutes of every day in a rational manner.

KITTY: Papa. You needn’t worry so over me. I promise.

MRS. BENNETT: Now, my dear, we must go shopping right away. How I wish I could have
joined you in London and helped you assemble your trousseau. At the very least I have been
able to put aside some very fine bits of lace especially for you…

WICKHAM: I hate to intrude, dear sister. We were always good friends, and now we are better.
​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 97

ELIZABETH: True.

WICKHAM: I hear you’ve seen Pemberley.

ELIZABETH: Yes.

WICKHAM: I almost envy you the pleasure, but the housekeeper never cared for me much. I’m
sure she didn’t mention me.

ELIZABETH: She did, actually. She was afraid you had not turned out well.

WICKHAM: Did you pass my parsonage at Kympton?

ELIZABETH: How should you have like making sermons?

WICKHAM: Exceedingly well.

ELIZABETH: You’ve always been a charming speaker, at least.

WICKHAM: What have I done to distress you, Lizzy?

ELIZABETH: Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I hopy you enjoy your houseful of bonnets, Mr.
Wickham.

LYDIA: Don’t worry; I’ll help you get one of your own.

ELIZABETH: I don’t particularly like yourway of getting husbands.

LYDIA: Isn’t he dear?

ELIZABETH: Something like.

JANE: Where were you married?

LYDIA: At St. Clement’s, as Wickham’s lodgings were in that parish. He wore his blue coat and
looked very fine. The only sadness, and it was slight, was that no one was there to witness but
Mr. Darcy.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 98
JANE: Mr. Darcy?

LYDIA: Oh! I promised him I wouldn’t say. He mustn’t know I mentioned it.

ELIZABETH: Mr. Darcy was at your wedding?

LYDIA: Hush! Wikham will be angry; it was supposed to be such a secret.

JANE: Then we won’t say another word about it. Lizzy–

ELIZABETH: He paid for the wedding, didn’t he?

JANE: I don’t think he meant for you to hear of it.

ELIZABETH: He knew Papa could not afford it.

JANE: No more. The subject is closed.

LYDIA: You’d think all that money would get him a pleasant expression. Ah well. I’ve gone and
told you everything when I promised to say nothing! Swear you won’t tell.

JANE: Of course not.

MRS. BENNETT: Newcastle? But that is so far away.

WICKHAM: I must go where His Majesty requires me.

MRS. BENNETT: Of course, of course. I shan’t deny the crown such a well-made soldier. But
when shall we ever meet again?

LYDIA: Oh, I don’t know. Not for a good two or three years I should think.

MRS. BENNETT: Write to me very often, my dear.

LYDIA: I have many responsibilities as a married woman, Mama, so I can’t promise much.
Though my sisters may write to me, as they will have nothing else to do.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 99
MARY: Unhappy as the event must be, we may draw from it a useful lesson.

ELIZABETH: And what’s that?

MARY: One's reputation is as brittle as it is beautiful.

DARCY: Bingley. There’s something I should– I will preface it by saying– I thought I was acting
in your best interest. I know now that I was mistaken in myself. And in Miss Bennett.

BINGLEY: Miss Bennett?

DARCY: She was in London until recently. She called on your sister, but you were out, and we
refrained from telling you. I didn’t want to see you hurt. I thought she didn’t care for you. That
she was indifferent to your sincere affection. But it was not my place to judge or to meddle.

BINGLEY: She was here, in town. And you kept her away.

DARCY: Yes. I did.

BINGLEY: At Netherfield you said– She was here.

DARCY: I was wrong, Bingley. And I’m so very sorry.

BINGLEY: Is she still in London?

DARCY: She’s gone home. Her sister was recently married.

BONGLEY: It’s been so long. Months. Do you think–?

DARCY: Netherfield should look well this time of year.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 100

KITTY: Mama! Look who is riding out to Netherfoeld.

MRS. BENNETT: Who?

KITTY: It’s Mr. Bingley!

JANE: It’s nothing. I could see him in this room, this instant, with perfect indifference.

KITTY: Someone is with him. I think it’s the tall, proud gentleman he–

ELIZABETH: Mr. Darcy?

KITTY: Yes! That he is.

ELIZABETH: I suppose we shall both sit in perfect indifference.

KITTY: Jane… He’s coming. Here.

JANE, ELIZABETH, AND MRS. BENNETT: WHat?

MRS. BENNETT: You don’t have to see him if you don’t want to.

JANE: You can’t think me so weak as to be in danger now.

ELIZABETH: I think you’re in very great danger of making him as much in love with you as ever.

MRS. BENNETT: Mr. Bingley. How good of you to return to us. You did promise to take a family
dinner with us when you returned. Perhaps tonight?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 101

DARCY: …That would be most agreeable.

MRS. BENNETT: Wonderful. Are you here for the shooting?

DARCY: Yes, madam. We are.

MRS. BENNETT: Well, when you have killed all your own birds, I beg you will come here and
shoot as many of ours as you please.

DARCY: You are very kind.

BONGLEY: Jane. I feel you understand me.

JANE: Charles. I believe I do.

ELIZABETH: Mr. Darcy.

DARCY. Miss Bennett.

ELIZABETH: Are you staying at Netherfield?

DARCY: Not at present. My sister–

ELIZABETH: Of course. You shouldn’t disappoint her.

ELIZABETH: Dearest Charlotte, things are strangely quiet here. In part, because Lydia has
moved two hundred miles away. But also because Mama is so pleased as to be speechless. A
joy has not abated. No one deserves happiness more than my Jane. Yet I wonder… Might one
sister’s bliss be enough to sustain us both?

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 102

LADY CATHERINE: Miss Elizabeth Bennett!

ELIZABETH: Your Ladyship.

–
– Goes on for 3 pages
–

LADY CATHERINE: Is this your final resolve? Do not imagine, Miss Bennett, that your ambition
will ever be gratified. I had hoped to find you reasonable. I send no compliments to your mother;
you deserve no such attention. I am most seriously displeased.

ELIZABETH: …What was that?

DARCY: That was my aunt. I can only apologize for her–fervor. Mr. Collins apparently told her
that he supposed there to be a connection between us.

ELIZABETH: You and I? How did he– Charlotte.

DARCY: I came here directly in hopes of intercepting my aunt. But I’m too late, and can only
hope my family is not too humiliated.

ELIZABETH:Well? Are you? Humiliated?

DARCY: Will you speak to me again after being treated so?

ELIZABETH: I hope to find reason to, yes.

​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Page 105

DARCY: Then my pride is not as badly bruised as I had feared.

ELIZABETH: I cannot say the same for my own. My family is in your debt, and I’ve waited too
long to make amends. Thank you for your kindness to my poor sister.

DARCY: I didn’t wish you to know of it. I thought it would find you uneasy.

ELIZABETH: Your compassion does you much credit.

DARCY: If you will thank me, let it be for yourself alone. Your family owes me nothing.

ELIZABETH: How can you say–?

DARCY: I must know– Are your feelings still what they were last April?

ELIZABETH: I…

DARCY: My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this
subject forever.

ELIZABETH: Then I should thank Lady Catherine, as she has brought you here.

–
– Just Darcy and Elizabeth to the end. Off as they begin to kiss.
–

End of Show