2/14/25, 12:30 PM Shouldn’t Christians Be More Loving and Accepting?

(Surviving Religion 101 Chapter 4)

Rev. Mark Wagenaar Sep 25, 2024 6 min read

Shouldn’t Christians Be More Loving and

Accepting? (Surviving Religion 101 Chapter 4)
Healthy plants have deep roots and strong pillars have solid foundations. If we are to be Christians who are deeply
rooted in Christ and built on the solid Rock, then we need more than mere sound bites. One means that the Lord
has used throughout church history to strengthen His people’s faith and witness is reading good books. This book
review series is identifying books that can serve as shovels that help you dig deeper in your Christian life.

Book: Surviving Religion 101 – Letters to a Christian Student on Keeping the Faith in College - Michael J. Kruger

At university you’ll encounter a vast diversity not only in terms of what people believe but also how people
behave. This is because everyone has a worldview and a system of morality. Recently in the West, this moral
system has shifted dramatically which is most evident in the way people approach issues of sex and sexuality. Our
culture is increasingly steeped in pornography and sexual experimentation which is bearing bitter fruit in many
lives.

However, the biggest, most alarming part is the shift in people’s attitudes toward their sexual activity. No longer is
sex just something people do it is viewed as core to who they are. People have attached their ‘identity’ to their
sexual activity and preferences.

This means your views on morality – especially about sex – will be seen as a personal attack on people. They will
not be regarded as just as different opinion but as an assault on another’s dignity. Ironically, lots of people around
you consider the Bible’s views of sex as immoral! Those who do will likely express their disapproval to you, and
you may start to wonder if you are the problem. But is biblical morality really hateful and unloving? And how does
one determine what is moral or immoral in the first place? Michael Kruger addresses these questions in Chapter 4
of Surviving Religion 101.

1) Everyone is a Fundamentalist
The main complaint about Christian morality is that it is absolute. People view Christians as judgmental because
they try to impose their moral code on others. The assumption is that morality is relative; what is right for one
person is not necessarily right for another. While this may sound reasonable, it runs into a number of fatal
problems.

First, how do your fellow students know that morality is relative? They are confidently declaring that they have
figured out one of the deepest mysteries of the universe – the meaning of right and wrong and of good and evil.
When pressed you’ll find that moral relativists have no foundation for their belief. It’s an arbitrary claim that
expresses what they wish were true. So, the next time someone says morals are relative, just ask, “How do you
know that?”

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Second, moral relativists are profoundly inconsistent. The people who talk loudly about how Christians shouldn’t
impose their moral code on others, are the ones who insist that everyone should accept and approve of
homosexual marriage. Isn’t that imposing a moral belief? What’s behind this internal inconsistency? That’s
answered in the next problem.

Third, if moral relativism was really true, there would be no way to oppose any moral atrocity. We might not like
what Hitler did to the Jews, but we would have no ability to say it was really wrong. Few people want to live in a
world like that so they claim moral relativism in some areas of life and live as moral absolutists in other areas.
You’ve probably already noticed their deep moral outrage over certain issues. Although they say they are moral
relativists, they know that some things are objectively wrong, regardless of what other people say or feel about it.

This leads to the next question: If there are moral absolutes in the universe, where do they come from?

2) Can You Have Morality apart from God?

Most people make dogmatic moral claims without considering where morality comes from. They claim some like
“What Harvey Weinstein did to those women was evil” without asking what makes a certain act “evil” in the first
place. But calling a behavior “evil” implies that there’s some standard out there that the person failed to live up
to. Where does that standard come from? For there to be a standard of absolutes a few things have to be true
about it.

First, the standard has to be the ultimate standard for goodness. If the standard was a mixture of good and evil it
wouldn’t be a reliable guide to morality. Furthermore, we would only know that this standard was flawed if there
was a higher standard to judge it by, proving that it’s not our ultimate standard. The ultimate standard by
definition judges everything else.

Second, the standard has to be transcendent. If our standard for moral absolutes was merely what one person or
culture thought about morals, then obviously those morals could not be absolute. The only way to prevent
morality from being subjective and changing is to have a standard that supersedes human experience and stands
over it.

Third, our standard for moral absolutes must be personal. Material objects – rocks, trees, or atoms – cannot
impose moral obligations. They cannot determine whether one act is “right” or “wrong.” In a world that is only
physical, what one bag of molecules does to another bag of molecules is utterly meaningless. The existence of
moral obligations makes the most sense when a relationship is involved. The existence of another person –
especially if that person is your Lord and Creator – would obligate us to behave one way or another. Therefore, the
source for moral absolutes has to be an absolutely good, transcendent, personal being. This means the only
coherent foundation for moral absolutes is God Himself!

To be clear, this does not mean that atheists cannot live outwardly moral lives. The Bible teaches that all people
have a built-in sense of morality because they are made in the image of God (Rom. 2:14-15). This leads them to act
in moral ways. The problem for the atheist is not being moral but having adequate grounds for morality. In an
atheistic world, there are not “good” acts and “bad” acts; there are just acts. This leads to the inescapable
conclusion that only God can provide the necessary foundation for morality.

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2/14/25, 12:30 PM Shouldn’t Christians Be More Loving and Accepting? (Surviving Religion 101 Chapter 4)

3) Rethinking Conversations about Morality

Grasping these two points can help us speak with our non-Christian friends. First, it reminds you that your moral
views are not really your views; they are God’s. That means if people get upset with you, they are really upset with
the God you serve. The goal of your conversations, therefore, is not so much to help your friends understand your
views, but to introduce them to your God. Help them see that God is absolutely good and that he gives us moral
laws – even laws about sex – for our good.

Like the father who cries, “stop” to the toddler running to the road, so God’s law is an expression of love to keep
us from getting hurt. He doesn’t provide arbitrary laws to be mean, cruel or oppressive. He gives His good law out
love, knowing that obedience is the path of life and disobedience is the path of death. Sin always destroys. It’s an
act of love to try and prevent someone from taking a harmful path.

Second, when discussing morality, its often most helpful to focus the conversation on the bigger, foundational
questions. There are times to debate specific things like homosexual marriage, but usually it’s most helpful to
move the conversation to the deeper questions, like “How do you know whether any behavior is right or wrong?”
and “Where do morals come from in the first place?”

When you ask these types of questions, you’ll find that your conversations take a dramatic turn in your favour. It
will force your non-Christian friends to account for their own moral claims (which they rarely do). How can they
claim you are hateful when they have no grounds for knowing what’s moral or immoral in the first place?

In contrast, you can show them that Christians have a good standard for our moral views, namely, the character of
the Creator as He reveals Himself in Scripture. You can highlight how we all have rebelled against these good
standards and deserve God’s just judgment. And you can help them see how God so loved this rebellious world
that He gave His only begotten Son so that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life
(Jn. 3:16).

In summary: It is hard to hear that your views are hateful. But keep reminding yourself of what is true: God, not
man, determines morality. He is a good, loving God, so we can trust that He knows best.

For next time: “I have gay friends who are kind, wonderful, and happy. Are we sure that homosexuality is really
wrong?”

Surviving Religion 101 – Letters to a Christian Student on Keeping the Faith in College by Michael J. Kruger.
Published by Crossway, Wheaton, Illinois, 2021. Softcover, 262 pages.

Buy this book here: https://reformedbookservices.com/products/9781433572074_-surviving-religion-101-letters-to-

a-christian-student-on-keeping-the-faith-in-college?_pos=1&_sid=21ffd8652&_ss=r

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