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Blacklisted by Chelsea Handler Madalyn Smith Prose 2013

A nine-year-old girl fabricates a story about being cast as Goldie Hawn's daughter in a movie, gaining popularity at school. As the lies spiral out of control, she struggles with the pressure of maintaining her story while dealing with the consequences of her deceit. Ultimately, she receives an autograph from Goldie Hawn, complicating her decision to come clean about her lies.

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26 views2 pages

Blacklisted by Chelsea Handler Madalyn Smith Prose 2013

A nine-year-old girl fabricates a story about being cast as Goldie Hawn's daughter in a movie, gaining popularity at school. As the lies spiral out of control, she struggles with the pressure of maintaining her story while dealing with the consequences of her deceit. Ultimately, she receives an autograph from Goldie Hawn, complicating her decision to come clean about her lies.

Uploaded by

Davevy
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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I was nine years old and walking myself to school one morning when Once we arrived at school, I played

l, I played it cool. By lunch, almost every


turned around and spotted Jason, the cutest boy in school. person at school had asked me about the movie. Before Jodi and I
“I heard you were going to be in a movie with Goldie Hawn” could even sit down to eat lunch, kids were scrambling to come up to
I told everyone that it was because I had spent three straight nights of my table.
meetings with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell , negotiating my contract Once we had a minute to ourselves, Jodi finally confronted me.
to play Goldie Hawn’s daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin. “What are you gonna do when they find out you’re lying?”
“Yeah, well, that was kind of a lie” “They’ll forget about it over the summer and all the fifth graders will
“What? You lied? Everyone has been talking about it. Everyone thinks have gone to middle school by then, so they can kiss my patootie.”
it’s so cool.” The day grew more and more insane as well-wishers and fans were
“Really?” approaching me left and right, prying for information.
It occurred to me that this was the perfect opportunity to get some of By the time school let out, everyone who lived in my neighborhood
the respect I believed had been denied to me, due to my father was racing to get one on one time with me.
dropping me off in front of school in a 1967 banana yellow Yugo. I walked into my house that December day floating on air.
“ Well, I shouldn’t have said ‘lie.’ I’m having trouble getting the “Hi Mom!”
trailer size I want. Goldie’s being pretty cool, but Kurt is so “Chelsea, sweetie, your father just got off the phone with your
mercurial.” principal, Mr. Hiller.”
“You get your own trailer?” “What kind of meshugas is this, Chelsea? You’re shooting a movie
“In my opinion, it’s not nearly enough to live for three months, but it’s with Goldie Hawn and flying to the Galapagos?”
my first major role, so I’m willing to settle for a little less than the My whole day deflated within a matter of seconds.
crème de la crème.” “Mrs. Schectman was making a big deal about me not doing my
“I didn’t even know you were an actress! How did you get the part?” homework and the Goldie Hawn story was the only thing I could think
“It’s ‘actor’ and the thing is, I was in this little Off-Broadway of.”
production with Meryl Streep She recommended me to the director of “Chelsea, you cannot just make up lies. You are going to have to do
this movie. That’s how Hollywood works—one thing leads to another, what I tell you. Do you understand me?”
blah,blah,blah. “Yes.”
But, they’re having a ton of creative issues, so who knows of it will Once safely inside my room, I got out some loose-leaf notebook paper
even go.” and started a letter to Goldie Hawn.
I could tell Jason was disappointed, so I hurried up to keep him Dear Goldie,
interested. I mean, it will go, but it could take months. Maybe you I am third grader from New Jersey and consider myself to be a huge
could visit me on set... if your parents will let you fly to the Galapagos fan of yours as well as a compulsive liar. I made the mistake of
Islands. It’s basically a cross between Splash and Private Benjamin” mentioning that I would be playing your daughter in the next
installment of Private Benjamin. It would be of great help to send me at school.
an autograph photo that reads:
My Dearest Chelsea,
Working together has been a dream come true.
Love Always, Goldie (your second mom)

The next morning when I got up my father said,


“Don’t forget to tell everyone the truth today.”
As I descended the hill where we lived, I spotted Jason. Part of me
felt bad for allowing him to fall in love with me so quickly, and
another part of me was annoyed that he had so little self-respect.
Hadn’t he ever realized how to play it cool?
I decided I was going to have to break the news to him first.
“Hey.”
“Did you hear anything about the movie?”
“Well, I have some bad news, Goldie broke her collarbone in a hang-
gliding accident. It looks like it’s been postponed until the summer.
I knew then that Jason and I could never really build a solid
partnership, mostly because our relationship had been based on
inconsistencies.
I spent the rest of the week confirming one ridiculous tale after
another, and by Friday I was exhausted.
I knew that if I ever came clean I would look like a total idiot, so
Jodi and I made a pact. She would confirm all my lies, then after
Christmas break we would slowly plant seeds that I was leaving the
business. “I’ve had enough!” was the phrase we agreed I would use.
The Friday before I was to return to school after Christmas break my
father handed me a manila envelope.
It was a signed autograph from Goldie Hawn.
Well, it would certainly take a lot of guts to come forward now. so
made few extra copies to pass out

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