Unit :- 2​

Self Management Skills

Introduction

Self-management, which is also referred to as ‘self-control’, is the ability to control one’s emotions,
thoughts and behaviour effectively in different situations. This includes motivating oneself, and working
towards achieving personal and academic goals.

Session 1: Motivation and Positive Attitude

Motivation and positive thinking can help us overcome fears and take up new challenges. Similarly,
optimism, which is a mental attitude, reflecting a belief or hope, can lead to positive and desirable
outcomes. It helps us to achieve our dreams, continue working hard towards achieving success and live a
happy life with a positive mindset.

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and
confidence.”

— Helen Keller

Motivation

Motivation is derived from the word ‘motive’. Thus, directing behaviour towards certain motive or goal is
the essence of motivation. An individual’s motivation may come from within (intrinsic motivation) or be
inspired by others or events (extrinsic motivation).

-​ Intrinsic motivation

It includes activities for which there is no apparent reward but one derives enjoyment and satisfaction in
doing them. It occurs when people are internally motivated to do something because it brings them
pleasure. They think it is important or feel what they are learning is significant. Incentives related to the
motive or goal can satisfy one’s needs.

-​ Extrinsic motivation

It arises because of incentives or external rewards. Lack of motivation or incentives may lead to
frustration, for example, employees who are kept on contractual basis for a long time may get frustrated
and leave an organisation.

Positive attitude

A positive attitude makes a person happier, and helps build and maintain relationships. It even increases
one’s chances of success. In addition, it can help the person make better decisions. People who maintain a

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positive or optimistic attitude in life situations and challenges are more able to move forward than those
with a negative attitude. Positive attitude helps improve mental and physical health.

Ways to maintain positive attitude

It can take a little time and effort to build a positive attitude. Following are some ways that can help one
maintain a positive attitude

•​ Start the day with a morning routine. Say positive affirmations, smile often and think about the

tasks to be accomplished during the day.

•​ Feed the mind with positivity, read motivating books, listen to music with uplifting lyrics, watch

inspiring movies, etc.

•​ Be proactive. A proactive person decides how one must feel regardless of what may be going
around or what the day may bring.

•​ Focus on constructive and positive things. Do not approach life with ‘problems’. Approach it
with ‘solutions’.

•​ Learn from failures. Think what could have been better and work towards the goals.

•​ Learn to focus on the present. Negativity mostly stems out from anxiety of the past and future
events.

•​ Move towards your goals and dreams. Be cheerful and work hard to achieve the dreams.

Here are some more techniques that can help you to maintain a positive outlook in the long run.

-​ Physical exercise and fresh air: Following A healthy lifestyle is essential for students.

Practising yoga, meditation and deep breathing exercises help improve blood circulation and relax

the body.

-​ Healthy diet: A healthy and balanced diet is important for a healthy body and mind. Eating a

balanced diet.

-​ Organise academic life: By keeping class notes organised, completing assignments on

time and keeping track of all deadlines, stress can be reduced to a great extent. When you are

not stressed, you can channelise your mind to achieve the goals.

-​ Adequate sleep: A good night sleep for at least seven hours is important so that the mind and

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the body can get recharged to function better the next day.

-​ Holidays with family and friends: Visiting a relative’s place, such as grandparents’ house or a
new place during summer vacation can help one break the monotonous normal routine and come
back refreshed.

Positive attitude is of immense value in a student’s life. There are various situations that the student will
encounter in life, wherein staying positive will keep the child going.

What is stress and how to manage it?

Stress is a state of feeling upset, annoyed and hopeless. There are times when we feel nothing is working
right, we are not able to achieve our goals and feel hopeless. During such times, if we manage and control
our emotions, it helps us to sail through. Some of the ways to manage stress are given below.

•​ Stay positive and analyse what is going wrong in a certain situation. Resolving the situation is
easy once understood.

•​ Maintain an accomplishment sheet and enter even small achievements.

•​ Keep your thoughts in the present. Pondering over past issues makes us feel upset and helpless.

•​ Talk to friends and family for comfort.

•​ Practice meditation and yoga.

•​ Whenever you feel negative thoughts are taking over, take a look at your accomplishment sheet.

By managing stress effectively and maintaining a positive attitude, one can overcome any challenge and
achieve heights in career. Managing stress effectively helps one maintain a healthy work–life balance.

Session 2: Result Orientation

Result orientation is a term used to describe a person’s

ability to recognise what results are important and the

steps needed to be taken to achieve them. It means to

focus on the result of an assigned task. If you know

the result you want to achieve, you can focus on the

efforts required to achieve it. Hence, result orientation

describes an individual or organisation that focuses on

outcome rather than the process that has been used to

produce a product or deliver a service.

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How to become result oriented?

(i)Set clear goals: Setting clear and accurate goals is the first step one needs to take to meet the targets.

(ii)Prepare an action plan: An action plan describes the way a person or an organisation will meet the set

objectives. It gives a detail of the steps to be taken to achieve the target. Therefore, it consists of several
actions or steps that need to be taken, and changes that needs to be made. Each action, step or change
should include the following information.

•​ What changes will occur after the actions?

•​ Who will carry out the changes?

•​ When will the changes take place?

•​ How long will the changes stay?

•​ What resources are needed to carry out the changes?

•​ Who should know and what should be communicated?

(iii) Use the right resources and tools: One must evaluate the resources and tools needed to achieve those
results and whether they are available.

(iv) Communicate with mentors and peers: One must talk to teachers, seniors and mentors for help in
setting realistic goals.

(v) Make a calendar: One must make a calendar to monitor the progress at regular intervals.

(vi) Work hard: One must work hard and believe in one’s dreams.

Goal setting

Goal setting helps us to understand what we want, how to achieve it and how do we measure our success.

Writing a goal requires that we should understand its purpose and objective. Let us try to understand how
to define a goal.

•​ Identify what the goal is about, for example, customer satisfaction, speeding up the delivery
process, etc.

•​ How would the goal make a difference? For example, will it enhance customer satisfaction,

will it result in an increase in demand of a product or service, speed up the delivery process and

result in better loyalty and quality of the product.

Use the acronym SMART to set goals. Let us see what each letter in SMART implies.

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•​ S: Specific

Goals should be stated in specific terms. Vague goals are difficult to attain. Specific goals give us a
concrete target. Hence, a goal should have a specific purpose.

•​ M: Measurable

Goals should always be measurable. If we do not set our goals in measurable terms, it is difficult to assess

whether we have achieved them or not.

•​ A: Action-oriented

Goals do not just come true on their own. Effective goal setting should include action-based steps that one
will follow to achieve the goal.

— Actions that I am already taking towards achieving this goal

— Actions that I am not currently taking but will take towards achieving this goal

— Actions that I am not currently taking and need help to achieve the goal

— People and places from whom I can get help to achieve the goal

•​ R: Realistic

There are few things more damaging to our sense of self-efficacy than setting ourselves up for failure.
Goals must always be realistically attainable.

•​ T: Timely

Goals must have deadlines. However, deadlines may change. But one must always set a deadline to get
the job done within a specified time limit.

Session 3: Self-awareness

Self-awareness is about understanding one’s own needs, desires, habits, traits, behaviours and feelings.

When one becomes self-aware, the person starts to become aware of everything and looks at things or
situations objectively. It plays a critical role in how we understand ourselves and relate to others and the
world around us.

Steps towards self-awareness

•​ The first step for practising self-awareness isgaining a greater awareness of one’s emotions.

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•​ The second step to practising self-awareness is making a habit of tracking one’s feelings.

•​ The third step for practising self-awareness is expanding one’s practice to areas of life beyond

the person’s feelings.

Personality and personality traits

Personality is a cluster of thoughts, feelings and behaviours that make a person unique and different from
others.

Personality development is the process of shaping one's unique character and behavior patterns. It's
influenced by a combination of factors like temperament, character, environment, and culture. A
well-developed personality can lead to positive outcomes such as better relationships and improved
performance.

There are five parameters that describe an individual’s personality. These five dimensions are also called
the ‘Big Five Factors’ and the model is referred to as the ‘Five Factor Model’, which is abbreviated

as FFM.

•​ Openness: Individuals with openness to experience are, generally, creative, curious, active,
flexible and adventurous. If a person is interested in learning new things, meeting new people and making
friends, and likes visiting new places, the person can be called open-minded.

•​ Consciousness: Individuals, who listen to their conscience, are self-disciplined, do their work on
time, take care of others before themselves and care about others’ feelings.

•​ Extraversion: Extroverts are individuals, who love interacting with people around and are,
generally, talkative. A person, who can easily make friends and make any gathering lively, is confident
and an extrovert.

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•​ Agreeableness: Individuals having such a trait are, generally, kind, sympathetic, cooperative,
warm and considerate. They accommodate themselves in any situation. For example, people who help and
take care of others are, generally, agreeable.

•​ Neuroticism: Neuroticism is a trait, where in, individuals show tendency towards anxiety,
self-doubt, depression, shyness and other similar negative feelings. People, who have difficulty inmeeting
others and worry too much about things, show signs of neuroticism.

Common personality disorders

People with personality disorders have unhealthy and rigid thinking and behavior patterns that last a long
time. These patterns are different from what most people consider normal and can cause distress.

Cluster A: Suspicious

People falling under this cluster always mistrust others and are suspicious, even when there is no need to
do so.

•​ Paranoid personality disorder: Paranoid personality disorder is characterised by distrust for

others, including friends, family members and partners. People with such a disorder mostly hold grudges
against others.

•​ Schizoid personality disorder: Schizoid Personality Disorder is a mental health condition

characterized by emotional detachment, social isolation, and a preference for solitary activities.
Individuals with this disorder often retreat into their own inner worlds, finding more comfort in fantasies
than real-world interactions. They may appear aloof, indifferent, or emotionally cold, with limited interest
in forming close relationships.

•​ Schizotypal personality disorder: People with this type of personality disorder believe that they
can influence other people or events with their thoughts. They often misinterpret behaviours. This causes
them to have inappropriate emotional responses.

Cluster B: Emotional and impulsive

This personality disorder is characterised by unstable moods and behaviours, which lead to unhealthy and
unstable relationships, emotional instability and feeling of worthlessness.

•​ Antisocial personality disorder: People with Antisocial Personality Disorder don't care about
rules. They can be mean and impulsive. They often lie, steal, or hurt others. They don't feel guilty and
don't learn from their mistakes. Sometimes they may also get addicted to alcohol or drugs.

. •​ Borderline personality disorder: People with Borderline Personality Disorder often feel empty
and fear being abandoned. They have trouble controlling their emotions, which can lead to impulsive
actions and unstable relationships. They may also self-harm or threaten suicide, especially when stressed.

•​ Histrionic personality disorder: People with histrionic personality disorder frequently try to
gain more attention by being overly dramatic. They are extremely sensitive to criticism or disapproval,
and can be easily influenced by others.

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•​ Narcissistic personality disorder: People with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they
are more important than others. They lack empathy for other people and tend to exaggerate their own
achievements.

Cluster C: Anxious

This personality disorder is characterised by feelings of worry, anxiety or fear, which have the potential to
affect one’s daily routine.

• Avoidant personality disorder: People with this disorder feel shy and awkward around others. They
worry a lot about being embarrassed or rejected. They avoid social situations and feel bad about
themselves.

• Dependent personality disorder: People with such a disorder are characterised by lack of
self-confidence and an extra need to be looked after. They need a lot of help in making everyday decisions
and surrender important life decisions to the care of others. They are heavily dependent on other people
for their emotional and physical needs, and thus, usually, avoid being alone

•Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder: People with this disorder are very focused on rules and
order. They strive for perfection and can become very upset when things aren't perfect. They may neglect
relationships to focus on tasks.

Steps to overcome personality disorders

•​ Talk to someone. Most often, it helps to share your feelings.

•​ Look after your physical health. A healthy body can help you maintain a healthy mind.

•​ Build confidence in your ability to handle difficultp situations.

•​ Engage in hobbies, such as music, dance and painting. These have a therapeutic effect.

•​ Stay positive by choosing words like ‘challenges’ instead of ‘problems’.