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Jed Baker PHD - Social Skills Training - For Children and Adolescents With Autism, 20th Anniversary Edition-Future Horizons (2023)

The document outlines the importance of assertiveness in communication, defining it as a respectful way to express one's needs without harming others, contrasting it with passive and aggressive behaviors. It provides guidelines for using 'I' statements to communicate feelings and needs effectively, and emphasizes the significance of conflict resolution through empathetic listening and understanding. Additionally, it includes practical exercises and role-play scenarios to help individuals practice assertiveness and conflict resolution skills.

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Brunna Falgater
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69 views6 pages

Jed Baker PHD - Social Skills Training - For Children and Adolescents With Autism, 20th Anniversary Edition-Future Horizons (2023)

The document outlines the importance of assertiveness in communication, defining it as a respectful way to express one's needs without harming others, contrasting it with passive and aggressive behaviors. It provides guidelines for using 'I' statements to communicate feelings and needs effectively, and emphasizes the significance of conflict resolution through empathetic listening and understanding. Additionally, it includes practical exercises and role-play scenarios to help individuals practice assertiveness and conflict resolution skills.

Uploaded by

Brunna Falgater
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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#75.

ASSERTIVENESS
Rationale: “Assertive” means trying to get what you want without
hurting others.
It is a positive way of communicating.

1. With friends and family, it is usually better to be assertive


than passive or aggressive.
2. Aggressive means communicating in a way that hurts
others. Insulting others or yelling quickly ends
communication and the possibility of resolving a conflict.
3. Passive means doing nothing, such as letting people do
things that bother you without saying how you feel. (Note:
Sometimes being passive can actually seem aggressive. For
example, if someone asks you to help them and you do not
respond, that may be perceived as hostile. The “silent
treatment,” in which you do not respond to someone, is
often considered a “passive-aggressive” action and
perceived as a hostile response.
4. Assertive means to communicate what you want in a
respectful way without hurting others. This is a positive
method for trying to resolve conflicts.
5. Decide if you need to be assertive.
6. Someone is asking you to do something that is dangerous or
makes you feel bad.
7. You want or need someone to do something.
8. Use an “I” statement to be assertive (avoid insults):
I FEEL (feeling word)
WHEN YOU (what they did or said)
BECAUSE (the reason it upset you)
WHAT I WANT OR NEED IS (what you want from them)

Practice
Who will I try this with?
When?
What happened? .
#75. ASSERTIVENESS Activity Page
1. Explain the rationale for being able to express what you want
without offending others. Contrast that with being passive
(not saying what you want) and aggressive (communicating in
a threatening way where others will not listen or will get mad).
2. Model the correct way to use an “I” statement without using
insults.
3. Role-play using an “I” statement with the following
situations:
4. Someone keeps bumping into you.
5. Someone borrows some money and does not pay you back
when they said they would.
6. Someone demands to play a game that you do not want to
play.
7. You are doing a group project in school and no one is
listening to your ideas.
8. Someone borrows your pencil and you need it back.
9. The teacher or parent gives everyone a snack except you.
10. Bait the skill. This means doing something that requires the
student to assert themselves. Tell them you are about to do
something to help them practice asserting themselves, then:
11. Take their book-bag when they need it.
12. Give everyone a snack or a chance to do a favored activity
except a couple of students until they make an assertive
statement. Best to tell them ahead of time that you will be
testing them.
13. Correct inappropriate ways to express frustration, like
aggressive or passive responses.
#76. CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Rationale: Eventually we will all have some conflicts or
disagreements with others. Handling conflicts in a positive way can
help you get along better with others.

1. Ask the person if you can schedule a time to talk; say,


“When would be a good time to talk with you about
something?” Sometimes people need time to prepare for a
difficult discussion, so it is best to schedule a time rather than
just start telling them how you feel.
2. Prepare yourself for the discussion; think about what they
did or said that upset you. Do you want them to stop doing
something, apologize, or help you in some way?
3. Tell the other person what you want in an assertive way with
an “I” statement in a calm tone of voice: I FEEL (feeling
word)
WHEN YOU (what they did or said)
BECAUSE (the reason it upset you)
WHAT I WANT OR NEED IS (what you want from them)
4. Then give them a chance to talk while you listen.
5. Reflect what you heard: Say, “Let me see if I got that.
You said that...” (Repeat back in your own words what you
heard them say). Then say, “Is that right?” APOLOGIZE if
you hurt the other person’s feelings.
6. Ask, “Is there more?” Let them have the time to say what
is really on their mind and not rush to interrupt.
7. Validate their feelings: Show you understand how they
might feel given what they described, even if you do not feel
the same way.
8. When they are done, ask if it is okay for you to say
more.
9. As you take turns talking, you can offer solutions that
work for both of you, taking into account your feelings and
theirs.

Practice
Who will I try this with?
When?
What happened? .
#76. CONFLICT RESOLUTION Activity Page
1. Explain the rationale, stressing the importance of
understanding the other person’s perspective in order to
resolve a conflict and reach an agreement with others. Then
explain the steps for effective communication, including
scheduling time to talk, taking turns talking, and listening
empathically.
2. Model these steps with another person. Pretend you are mad
at them because they did not respond to your text messages
and invitations to hang out. Pretend the other person wanted
to get together but their parents took their phone and
grounded them. Allow this information to come out as you
take turns asserting yourselves and listening empathically so
that they can resolve the problem. Model apologizing if we
hurt the other person’s feelings.
3. Role-play using actual situations that your students have
experienced or use these role-play scenarios:
4. A friend keeps criticizing the way you dress.
5. Someone borrows some money and does not pay you back
when they said they would.
6. A friend demands to go somewhere with you, but you want
to go somewhere else.
7. You are doing a group project in school and no one is
listening to your ideas.
8. A teacher accuses you of cheating when you did not.
9. A parent gives everyone in the family a gift except for you.
10. Help students to use the skill when they complain of a conflict
with peers, family, or authority figures. Have them role-play
what they might say to that person.

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