Text 4 Part 1

Guhyam akhyati prcchati (revealing one's mind and inquiring confidentially) are the third
pair of exchanges between devotees. Such exchanges are very important, they determine whether
our relationships will be deep or superficial in Krishna consciousness. Krishna consciousness is
ultimately about relationships (with Krishna and Krishna's devotees.) and the quality of our
relationships determine the quality of our spiritual life. Through intimate relationships with devotees
we move closer to Krishna.
There can be multiple levels of confidential discussions - talking about Krishna, about
service or about our difficulties and how to overcome them. Advanced devotees' hearts are
connected to Krishna so they naturally talk about Krishna like Lord Caitanya did with Svarupa
Damodara and Ramananda Raya. They relish the highest happiness by discussing Krishna, their
common object of love. Such discussion may also be more official like discussing Krishna
consciousness on an intellectual level in Bhagavatam class.
Devotees may discuss their service to Krishna like Krishna's queens inquiring from
Draupadi about serving one's husband. Similarly, book distributors, pujaris, temple constructors
may discuss their common service and gain inspiration from each other. Srila Prabhupada also
discussed philosophy and service, how to see Krishna in nature and how to see ordinary things'
connection to Krishna's service. Prabhupada thus gave an extraordinary insight to his disciples by
sharing his spiritual vision. Prabhupada also spoke about and trained his disciples in practical
service, how to clean, receive guests and avoid being cheated due to their inexperience in Indian
business dealings. Srila Prabhupada could also guide his followers to surrender and follow
according to their own level, and find a balance between moving to Krishna and away from the
material world that is sustainable.
Another aspect of confidential discussions is asking for help to overcome anarthas,
difficulties and problems in Krishna consciousness. Despite us all having an eternal relationship
with Krishna, due to our conditioning Krishna isn't easily accessible for us at the moment and we
encounter obstacles on the path. Therefore we need advice on how to practically implement
Krishna consciousness. Our reading of scriptures and listening to classes should give us some
direction but in some circumstances we need more personal guidance on how to proceed in our
particular circumstances. Approaching a senior, trustworthy devotee should help, but there must be
an understanding that such discussions are confidential and shouldn't be shared with others
without the counselee's consent unless there are some legal issues. Deep, trusting relationships
develop gradually by association and overcoming difficulties together; like a group of soldiers
fighting together develop a camaraderie and learn to trust, support and rely on each other. Without
such intimate relationships devotees can fall down because they won't have the necessary support
to overcome the mind's illusions. Ravana tried to win Sitadevi by temptation (you will be my first
and most opulent queen), by threats (I'll eat you if you don't submit) and by tricks (created an
illusory head of Rama to convince Sita Rama has been killed.) Our mind will similarly attack us with
temptation, threats and tricks and we can become discouraged and lose heart if we don't have
devotee friends to encourage us and give us shelter. The knowledge gained from hearing classes
may remain theoretical if we don't experience Krishna's shelter among our daily battles of life.
In devotee discussions it is important to hear as well as to speak. We should hear the
guidance offered and also make time to hear the problems of others. Otherwise friendships can
become one-sided and imbalanced. But listening to others' difficulties doesn't mean letting them
dump emotional garbage on us or have a good chat about past enjoyments. The past should
remain in the past unless it affects the present and creates problems for our present Krishna
consciousness. After spending time together devotees should both feel closer to Krishna, not
agitated by reliving past sinful memories. We should take association carefully since our desires
develop according to our association.
It is also important to understand who we shouldn't associate with. Prabhupada
emphasises that devotees should avoid the association of Mayavadis and atheists. Yet there is
also an intelligent and a fanatical understanding of such avoidance. A fanatic would start shouting
at and calling such people names maybe even attacking them physically. However, this isn't the
cultured, gentlemanly behaviour expected of Vaisnavas. We shouldn't have the sixfold exchanges
with Mayavadis and atheists but we can be courteous and may even work together if public
relations requires such cooperation. There are many examples of Srila Prabhupada dealing with
Mayavadis in a cultured and respectful way while remaining philosophically uncompromising. The
sixfold exchanges should be reserved for devotees however because these are exchanges of the
heart and can either contaminate or uplift one depending on the devotional status of the person he
associates with. Eating the food of materialists for example, will contaminate one's mind and make
it difficult to remember Krishna. Yet, if such a materialist is somewhat devotionally inclined then we
may accept some fruit or water at their house and by offering it to Krishna facilitate their moving
closer to the Lord. Thus, there are no rigid rules of association but a broad understanding that
association should facilitate everyone's moving closer to Krishna.
Giving charity is an aspect of dadati. Rupa Gosvami set a very high standard by giving 50
% of his earnings in charity. General devotees may not be able to follow his example because they
need to take care of their material and spiritual life (paying bills, travel expenses to the temple, etc)
from a limited budget. But it shouldn't make us question this ideal or try to justify the real (our
present behaviour.) In all sadhakas' life there is a gap between the ideal and the real. The ideal
shows the way and we can move towards it gradually without feeling bad about or justifying our
present standards. Everyone should give some charity depending on their circumstances because
such giving is not just an act but an attitude of acknowledging that everything belongs to Krishna.
When one avoids giving in charity with the excuse that he will give much more later than he can
get used to not giving and even later, when he could give a lot, he will use the same excuse for not
giving. Devotional charity is about transforming the heart; when we give something that's dear to
our heart, Krishna gets a place in our heart and we move closer to Him.
We should generally practice the six loving exchanges with likeminded devotees since
these exchanges are the ways love is reciprocated. There are those we want to increase loving
exchanges with and those we need to be cautious with because they can drag us down. So we
need to balance these two sides to move forward in spiritual life.
In summary, our loving exchanges with devotees will determine the quality of our
relationships and because Krishna consciousness is about relationships, the quality of our
relationships will determine the quality of our spiritual life. Confidential discussions (guhyam
akhyati prrchati) may be on different levels (about Krishna, about service or about obstacles on the
path of bhakti.) Deep devotee relationships take time to develop but they are essential in providing
support and encouragement in fighting maya's illusions. Confidential discussions should bring
devotees closer to Krishna and each other; if association agitates the mind by bringing up past
sinful habits then we should avoid such company because association determines our desires.
Avoiding the association of Mayavadis and atheists means not engaging in the six loving
exchanges with them but behaving in a polite and respectful way. Charity is an attitude of
acknowledging Krishna's supreme ownership and shouldn't be avoided otherwise such avoidance
can become habit and endanger one's devotional life. The principle of devotee association is that it
should bring us closer to Krishna - we should choose and avoid company according to this
principle.