.

GerardNolst Trenit´e
(1922)

Dearest creature in creation ["dI@rIst "kri:tS@r In krI"eIS@n]

Studying English pronunciation, ["st2dI.IN "i:NglIS pr@n2nsI"eIS@n]
I will teach you in my verse [aI wIl "ti:tS jU In maI "v3:s]
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse. ["saUndz laIk "kO:ps "kO: "hO:s @nd "w3:s]
I will keep you, Susy, busy, [aI wIl "ki:p jU "sju:zI "bIzI]
Make your head with heat grow dizzy; ["meIk j@ "hed wID "hi:t "gr@U "dIzI]
Tear in eye, your dress you’ll tear; ["tI@r In "aI j@ "dres jUl "tE@]
Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer. ["kwI@ "fE@ "sI@ "hI@ maI "prE@]
Pray, console your loving poet, ["preI k@n"s@Ul j@ "l2vIN "[email protected]]
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it! ["meIk maI "k@Ut "lUk "nju: "dI@ "s@U It]
Just compare heart, hear and heard, ["dZ2st k@m"pE@ "hA:t "hI@ @nd "h3:d]
Dies and diet, lord and word. ["daIs @nd "daI@t "lO:d @nd "w3:d]
Sword and sward, retain and Britain ["sO:d @nd "swO:d rI"teIn @nd "brIt@n]
(Mind the latter how it’s written). ["maInd D@ "læt@ haU Its "rIt@n]
Made has not the sound of bade, ["meId hæz "n6t D@ "saUnd @v "bæd]
Say—said, pay—paid, laid but plaid. ["seI "sed "peI "peId "leId b2t "plæd]
Now I surely will not plague you ["naU aI "SU@lI "wIl n6t "pleIg ju:]
With such words as vague and ague, [wID s2tS "w3:dz @z "veIg @nd "eIgju:]
But be careful how you speak, ["b2t bI "kE@f@l "haU jU "spi:k]
Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak, ["seI "g2S "bUS "steIk "stri:k "breIk "bli:k]
Previous, precious, fuchsia, via ["pri:vI.@s "preS@s "fju:S@ "vaI.@]
Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir; ["resIpI "paIp "st2nseIl "kwaI.@]
Woven, oven, how and low, ["w@Uv@n "2v@n "haU @nd "l@U]
Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe. ["skrIpt rI"si:t "Su: "p@UIm "t@U]
Say, expecting fraud and trickery: ["seI Iks"pektIN "frO:d @nd "trik@rI]
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore, ["dO:t@ "lA:ft@r @nd t3:"psIk@rI]
Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles, ["brA:ntS "rA:ntS "mi:zlz "t6ps@lz/"t6pseIlz "aIlz]
Missiles, similes, reviles. ["mIsaIlz "sIm@li:z rI"vaIlz]
Wholly, holly, signal, signing, ["h@Uli "h6li "sIgn@l "saInIN]
Same, examining, but mining, ["seIm Ig"zæmInIN b2t "maInIN]
Scholar, vicar, and cigar, ["sk6l@ "vIk@r @nd sI"gA:]
Solar, mica, war and far. ["s@Ul@ "maIk@ "wO:r @nd "fA:]
From desire—desirable, admirable from admire, [fr@m dI"zaI@ dI"zaIr@b@l
"ædmir@b@l fr@m @d"maI@]
Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier, ["l2mb@ "pl2m@ "bI@ b2t "braI@]
Topsham, brougham, renown, but known, ["t6ps@m "bru:.@m rI"naUn b2t "n@Un]
Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone, ["n6lIdZ "d2n "l@Un "gO:n "n2n "t@Un]
One, anemone, Balmoral, ["w2n @"nem@nI bæl"m6r@l]
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel. ["kItS@n "laIk@n/laIh@n "lO:ndrI "l6r@l]
Gertrude, German, wind and wind, [g3:t"ru:d "dZ3:m@n "wInd @nd "waInd]
Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind, ["b@U "kaInd "kIndrId "kju: mæn"kaInd]
Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, ["tO:t@s "t3:kwOIz "SæmI "leD@]
Reading, Reading, heathen, heather. ["ri:dIN "redIN "hi:D@n "heD@]
This phonetic labyrinth [DIs f@U"netIk "læbIrInT]
Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth. ["gIvs "m6s "gr@Us "brUk "br@UtS
"naInT
"plInT]

Have you ever yet endeavoured ["hæv jU "@v@ "jet In"dev@d]

To pronounce revered and severed, [tU pr@"naUns rI"vI@d @nd "sev@d]
Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul, ["di:m@n "lem@n "gu:l "faUl "s@Ul]
Peter, petrol and patrol? ["pi:t@ "petr@l @nd p@t"r@Ul]
Billet does not end like ballet; ["bilit "d2z n@t "end laIk "bælei]
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. ["bUkeI "w6lit "mælit "Sælei]
Blood and flood are not like food, ["bl2d @nd "fl2d A: "n6t laIk "fu:d] (!!!)
Nor is mould like should and would. ["no:r Iz "m@Uld laIk "SUd @nd "wUd] (!!!)
Banquet is not nearly parquet, ["bænkwit "Iz n@t "nI@lI "pA:keI] (!!!)
Which exactly rhymes with khaki. [wItS Ig"zæktli raImz wiD "kA:kI] (!!!)
Discount, viscount, load and broad, ["dIskaUnt "vaIkaUnt "l@Ud @nd "brO:d]
Toward, to forward, to reward, ["t@U@d tU "fO:w@d tU rI"wO:d]
Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet? ["rIk@SetId @nd "[email protected] kr@U"kei]
Right! Your pronunciation’s OK. ["raIt "jO: pr@n2nsI"eIS@ns @U"keI]
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, ["raUndId "wu:ndId "gri:v @nd "sIv]
Friend and fiend, alive and live. ["frend @nd "fi:nd @"laIv @nd "lIv]
Is your “r” correct in higher? ["Iz j@r "A: k@"rekt In "haI@]
Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia. ["ki:ts @"s3:ts It "raImz T@"laI@]
Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot, ["hju: b2t "h2g @nd "hUd b2t "hu:t]
Buoyant, minute, but minute. ["bOI@nt "mInIt b2t maI"nju:t]
Say abscission with precision, [seI æb"siZ@n wID prI"sIZ@n]
Now: position and transition; [naU p@"ziS@n @nd træn"zIZ@n/træn"sIZ@n]
Would it tally with my rhyme ["wu:d It "tæli wiD maI "raIm]
If I mentioned paradigm? ["If aI "menS@nd pær@"daIm]
Twopence, threepence, tease are easy, ["t2p@ns "Trep@ns "ti:z A:r "i:zI]
But cease, crease, grease and greasy? ["si:s "kri:s "gris @nd "gri:zI]
Cornice, nice, valise, revise, ["kO:n@s/"kO:nIS "naIs v@"li:s rI"vaIz]
Rabies, but lullabies. ["reIbIz "b2t "l2l@baIz]
Of such puzzling words as nauseous, ["6v s2tS "p2zlIN "w3:dz @z "nO:S@s]
Rhyming well with cautious, tortious, [raImIN wel wID "kO:S@s "tO:S@s]
You’ll envelop lists, I hope, ["ju:l In"vel@p "lIsts aI "h@Up]
In a linen envelope. [In @ "lIn@n "env@l@Up]
Would you like some more? You’ll have it! ["wu:d jU "laIk s@m "mO: jUl "hæv It]
Affidavit, David, davit. [æf@"deIvIt "deIvId "dævIt]
To abjure, to perjure. Sheik ["tu: @b"dZU@ tU "p3:dZ@ "SeIk]
Does not sound like Czech but ache. ["d2z n@t "saUnd laIk "tSek b2t "eIk]
Liberty, library, heave and heaven, [lI"b3:tI "laIbr@rI "hi:v @nd "hev@n]
Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven. ["reItS@l "l6k "m@stæS/m@"stæS I"lev@n]
We say hallowed, but allowed, ["wi: seI "hæl@Ud b2t @"laUd]
People, leopard, towed but vowed. ["pi:pl "lep3:d "t@Ud b2t "vaUd]
Mark the difference, moreover, ["mA:k D@ "dIfr@ns mO:"r@Uv@]
Between mover, plover, Dover. [bI"twi:n "mu:v@ "pl@v@ "d@Uv@]
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, ["li:tSIz "brItSIz "waIz prI"saIs]
Chalice, but police and lice, ["tSælIs b2t p@"li:s @nd "laIs]
Camel, constable, unstable, ["kæm@l "k6nst@b@l 2n"steIb@l]
Principle, disciple, label. ["prInsIp@l dI"saIp@l "leIb@l]
Petal, penal, and canal, ["pet@l "pi:n@l @nd k@"næl]
Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal, ["weIt s@"maIz/"s@maIz "plæt "pr6mIs "pæl]
Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit ["sju:t "swi:t "ru:.In "s3:kIt "k6ndIt]
Rhyme with “shirk it” and “beyond it”, [raIm wID "S3:k It @nd bI"j6nd It]
But it is not hard to tell ["b2t It "Is n@t "hA:d tU "tel]
Why it’s pall, mall, but Pall Mall. ["waI Its "pO:l "mO:l b2t pel"mel]
Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron, ["m2s@l "m2skj@l@ "dZeIl "aI@n]
Timber, climber, bullion, lion, [tImb@ "klaIm@ "bUlj@n/"bUlj6n "laI@n]
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, ["w3:m @nd "stO:m "SeIz "kA:.6s "tSE@]
Senator, spectator, mayor, ["sen@t@ spek"teIt@ "mE@]
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour ["aIvI "prIvI "feIm@s "klæm@]
Has the a of drachm and hammer. ["hæz DI "eI @v "dræm @nd "hæm@]
Pussy, hussy and possess, ["pUsI "h2sI "ænd p@"zes]
Desert, but desert, address. ["dez@t "b2t dI"z3:t @"dres]
Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants ["g6lf "wUlf "kaUt@n@ns lef"ten@nts]
Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants. ["hOIst In "lu: @v "flægz left "pen@nts]
Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb, ["kUri:.@ "kO:ti:.@ "tu:m "b6m "k@Um]
Cow, but Cowper, some and home. ["kaU b2t "ku:p@ "s2m @nd "h@Um]
“Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker”, ["s6d@ "s@UldZ@ "bl2d Iz "TIk@]
Quoth he, “than liqueur or liquor”, ["kw@UT hI "Dæn lI"k3:/lIkU@/lIkjU@ O: "lIk@]
Making, it is sad but true, ["meIkIN "It Iz "sæd b2t "tru:]
In bravado, much ado. ["In br@"vA:d@U m2tS @"du:]
Stranger does not rhyme with anger, ["streIndZ@ "d2z n@t "raIm wID "æNg@]
Neither does devour with clangour. ["naID@/"ni:D@ "d2z dI"vaU@ wID "klæNg@]
Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt, ["paIl@t "pIv@t "gO:nt b2t "A:nt/"ænt] (!!!)
Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant. ["f6nt "fr2nt "wO:nt/"w@Unt/"w@nt/"w6nt

"wO:nt/"w6nt/"w@nt "grænd @nd "grænt] (!!!)

Arsenic, specific, scenic, ["A:s@nIk spI"sIfIk "si:nIk]

Relic, rhetoric, hygienic. ["relIk "ret@rIk haI"dZi:nIk]
Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close, ["gUzberI "gu:s @nd "kl@Uz b2t "kl@Us]
Paradise, rise, rose, and dose. ["pær@daIs "raIz "r@uz @nd "d@Us]
Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle, ["seI In"veI "neI b2t In"veIg@l/In"vi:g@l]
Make the latter rhyme with eagle. ["meIk D@ "læt@ "raIm wID "i:g@l]
Mind! Meandering but mean, ["maInd mi:"ænd@rIN b2t "mi:n]
Valentine and magazine. ["væl@ntaIn @nd mæg@"zi:n]
And I bet you, dear, a penny, ["ænd aI "bet jU "dI@r @ "penI]
You say mani-(fold) like many, [jU "seI "mæn@f@Uld laIk "menI]
Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier, ["wItS Is "r6N seI "reIpi:.@ "pI@]
Tier (one who ties), but tier. ["taI@ "w2n hu: "taIz b2t "tI@]
Arch, archangel; pray, does erring ["A:tS "A:keIndZ@l "preI d2z "3:rIN]
Rhyme with herring or with stirring? ["raIm wID "herIN "O: wID "st3:rIN]
Prison, bison, treasure trove, ["prIz@n "baIs@n "treZ@ "tr@Uv]
Treason, hover, cover, cove, ["tri:z@n "h@v@/"h6v@ "k@v@ "k@Uv]
Perseverance, severance. Ribald [p3:s@"vIr@ns "sev@r@ns "rIb@ld]
Rhymes (but piebald doesn’t) with nibbled. ["raImz b2t "paIbO:ld "d2znt wID "nIb@ld]
Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw, ["feI@t@n "pi:.@n "næt "gO:t "nO:]
Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw. ["li:.@n "saIkIk "S6n "b@Un "SO:]
Don’t be down, my own, but rough it, ["d@Unt bi: "daUn maI "@Un b2t "r2f It]
And distinguish buffet, buffet; ["ænd dIs"tINgwIS bu:"feI "b2f@t]
Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon, [bru:d stUd ru:f rUk sku:l wUl bu:n]
Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn. ["wUst@ "bUlIn "tu: Impju:n]
Say in sounds correct and sterling ["seI In "saUndz k@"rekt @nd "st3:lIN]
Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling. ["h3:s "hI@ "hA:k@n "jI@r @nd "j3:lIN]
Evil, devil, mezzotint, ["i:vIl "devIl mets@U"tInt]
Mind the z! (A gentle hint.) ["maInd D@ "zi: @ "dZent@l "hInt]
Now you need not pay attention ["naU jU "ni:d n@t "peI @"tenS@n]
To such sounds as I don’t mention, [tu: s2tS "saUndz @z "aI d@Unt "menS@n]
Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws, ["saUndz laIk "pO:z "pO:z "pO:z @nd "pO:z ]
Rhyming with the pronoun yours; ["raImIN wID D@ "pr@unaUn "jO:z]
Nor are proper names included, ["nO:r A: "pr6p@ "neImz In"klu:dId]
Though I often heard, as you did, ["D@U aI "O:f@n "h3:d @z "ju: dId]
Funny rhymes to unicorn, ["f2nI "raImz tU ju:nI"kO:n]
Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan. ["jes jU "n@U D@m "vO:n @nd "strO:n]
No, my maiden, coy and comely, ["n@u maI "meId@n "kOI @nd "k2mlI]
I don’t want to speak of Cholmondeley. ["aI d@nt "w6nt t@ "spi:k @v "tS2mlI]
No. Yet Froude compared with proud ["n@U jet "fru:d c@m"pE@d wID "praUd]
Is no better than McLeod. ["Iz n@U "bet@ "Dæn mæk"laUd]
But mind trivial and vial, ["b2t maInd "trIvi:.@l @nd "vaI@l]
Tripod, menial, denial, ["traIp6d "mi:ni:@l/"mi:nj@l dI"naI@l]
Troll and trolley, realm and ream, ["tr@Ul @nd "tr6lI "relm @nd "ri:m]
Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme. ["Sedju:l "mIstSIf "siz@m/"skiz@m/"Siz@m @nd
"ski:m]

Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely ["A:dZIl "gIl "A:gIl "dZIl "SO:lI]
May be made to rhyme with Raleigh, ["meI bi: "meId tU "raIm wID "rO:lI]
But you’re not supposed to say ["b2t jU@ "n6t s@"p@Uzd tU "seI]
Piquet rhymes with sobriquet. [pI"ket/pI"keI raImz wID s@UbrI"keI/s@UbrI"ket]
Had this invalid invalid [hæd DIs "Inv@li:d In"vælId]
Worthless documents? How pallid, ["w3:TlIs "d6kj@m@nts haU "pælId]
How uncouth he, couchant, looked, ["haU 2n"ku:T hi: "kaUtS@nt "lUkt]
When for Portsmouth I had booked! ["wen fO: "pO:tsm@T "aI hæd "bUkt]
Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite, ["zu:s "Ti:bz "TeIli:z æfr@"daIti:]
Paramour, enamoured, flighty, ["pær@mU@ In"æm@d "flaItI]
Episodes, antipodes, ["epIs@Udz æn"tIp@di:z]
Acquiesce, and obsequies. [ækwi:."es @nd "6bs@kwi:z]
Please don’t monkey with the geyser, ["pli:z d@Unt "m2nki: "wID D@ "geIz@]
Don’t peel ’taters with my razor, ["d@unt pi:l "teIt@z "wID maI "reIz@]
Rather say in accents pure: ["rA:D@ "seI In "æksents "pjU@]
Nature, stature and mature. ["neItS@ "stætS@r "ænd m@"tjU@]
Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly, ["paI@s "Impi:.@s/Im"paI.@s "lIm "klaIm "gl2mlI]
Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly, ["wUstId "w3:stId "kr2mblI "d2mlI]
Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan, ["k6Nk@ "k6Nkwest/"k6Nkw@st "vA:z "feIz "fæn]
Wan, sedan and artisan. ["w6n sI"dæn @nd A:tI"zæn]
The th will surely trouble you [D@ "ti: "eItS wIl Su@lI "tr2b@l jU:]
More than r, ch or w. [mO: "Dæn "A: "si: "eItS O: "d2b@l jU:]
Say then these phonetic gems: ["seI D@n "Di:z f@"netIk "dZemz]
Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames. ["t6m@s "taIm t@"reIs@/t@"reIz@ "temz]
Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham, ["t6ms@n "tSæt@m "wO:lthæm/wO:lt@m
"stret@m]

There are more but I forget ’em— ["DE@r A: "mO: b2t "aI f@"get@m]
Wait! I’ve got it: Anthony, ["weIt aIv "g6t It "ænt@nI] (!!!)
Lighten your anxiety. ["laIt@n "jO:r æN"zaI@tI] (!!!)
The archaic word albeit [DI A:"keI.Ik "w3:d O:l"bi:It]
Does not rhyme with eight—you see it; ["d2z n@t "raIm wID "eIt jU "si: It]
With and forthwith, one has voice, ["wID @nd fO:T"wIT "w2n h@z "vOIs]
One has not, you make your choice. ["w2n h@z "n6t jU "meIk j@ "tSOIs]
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say: finger; ["Su:z "g@Uz "d2z naU "f3:st seI "fINg@]
Then say: singer, ginger, linger. ["Den seI "sIN@ "dZINdZ@ "lINg@]
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge, ["ri:.@l/"ri:l "zi:l "mO:v/"m@Uv "gO:z @nd "geIdZ]
Marriage, foliage, mirage, age, ["mærIdZ "f@Uli:.IdZ mI"rA:Z "eIdZ]
Hero, heron, query, very, ["hIr@U "her@n "kwIrI/"kwerI "verI]
Parry, tarry fury, bury, ["pærI/"perI "tærI/"terI "fjUrI "berI]
Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth, ["d2st "lO:st "p@Ust @nd "d2T "clO:T "l@UT]
Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath. ["dZ6b "dZ@Ub "bl6s@m "bUz@m "@UT]
Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners, [f"O:(k) @"pju:n@nt "ki:n @"pju:n@z]
Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners ["b@UIN "baUIN bændZ@U"tju:n@z]
Holm you know, but noes, canoes, ["h@Um jU "n@U b2t "n@Uz k@"nu:z]
Puisne, truism, use, to use? ["pju:nI "tru:.Iz@m "ju:s tU "ju:z]
Though the difference seems little, ["D@U D@ "dIf@r@ns/"dIfr@ns "si:mz "lIt@l]
We say actual, but victual, ["wi: seI "æktSU@l "b2t "vIt@l]
Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height, ["si:t "swet "tSeIst "kA:st "li: "eIt "haIt]
Put, nut, granite, and unite. ["pUt "n2t "grænIt "ænd jU"naIt]
Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, ["ri:f@ "d2z n@t "raIm wID "def@]
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer. ["fef@ "d2z @nd "zef@ "hef@]
Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late, ["d2l "bUl "dZefrI "dZO:dZ "et/eIt "leIt]
Hint, pint, senate, but sedate. ["hInt "paInt "sen@t "b2t sI"deIt]
Gaelic, Arabic, pacific, ["geIlIk/"gælIk/"gA:lIk "ær@bIk p@"sIfIk]
Science, conscience, scientific; ["saI@ns "k6nSens saI@n"tIfIk]
Tour, but our, dour, succour, four, ["tU@ b2t "aU@/"A: "dU@/"daU@ "s2k@ "fO:]
Gas, alas, and Arkansas. ["gæs @"læs @nd "A:k@nsO:]
Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit, ["seI m@"nju:v@ "y6t @nd "v6mIt]
Next omit, which differs from it ["nekst @U"mIt wItS "dIf@z "fr6m It]
Bona fide, alibi ["b@Un@faIdI "ælIbaI]
Gyrate, dowry and awry. ["dZaIreIt "daUrI "ænd @"raI]
Sea, idea, guinea, area, ["si: aI"di:.@ "gInI "eri:.@/"eI ri:.@]
Psalm, Maria, but malaria. ["sA:m m@"ri:@ "b2t m@"lE@ri:.@]
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean, ["ju:T "saUT "s2D@n "klenz @nd "kli:n]
Doctrine, turpentine, marine. ["d6ktrIn "t3:p@ntaIn m@"ri:n]
Compare alien with Italian, [k@m"pE@r "æli:.@n wID I"tælj@n/aI"tælj@n/]
Dandelion with battalion, ["dændIlaI@n wID b@"tælj@n]
Rally with ally; yea, ye, ["rælI "wID @"laI "jeI "ji:]
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay! ["aI "aI "aI "eI "weI "ki: "ki:/"keI/"kweI]
Say aver, but ever, fever, ["seI @"v3: b2t "ev@ "fi:v@]
Neither, leisure, skein, receiver. ["naID@/"ni:D@ "li:Z@/"leZ@/"leIZ@ "skeIn rI"si:v@]
Never guess—it is not safe, ["nev@ "ges It "Iz n@t "seIf]
We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf. ["wi: seI "kA:vz "vælvz "hA:f b2t "reIf/"rA:f/"rA:lf]
Starry, granary, canary, ["stA:rI "greIn@rI/"græn@rI k@"nE@rI]
Crevice, but device, and eyrie, ["krevIs "b2t dI"vaIs @nd "E@rI/I@rI/eIrI]
Face, but preface, then grimace, ["feIs b2t "pref@s "Den grI"meIs/"grIm@s]
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. ["flem fleg"mætIk "æs glA:s "beIs]
Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging, ["bæs "lA:dZ "tA:gIt "dZIn "gIv v3:dZIN]
Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging; ["O:t "aUst "dZaUst/"dz2st/dZu:st @nd
"skaU@
b2t "sk3:dZIN/"skO:dZIN/"skU@dZIN]

Ear, but earn; and ere and tear ["I@ b2t "3:n @nd "E@r @nd "tE@]
Do not rhyme with here but heir. ["du: n@t "raIm wID "hI@ b2t "E@]
Mind the o of off and often ["maInd D@ "@U @v "O:f @nd "O:f@n/O:ft@n]
Which may be pronounced as orphan, ["wItS meI "bi: pr@"naUnst @z "O:f@n]
With the sound of saw and sauce; ["wID D@ "saUnd @v "sO: @nd "sO:s]
Also soft, lost, cloth and cross. ["O:ls@U "s6ft/"sO:ft "l6st/"lO:st "kl6T/"klO:T @nd "kr6s/"krO:s]
Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting? ["pUdIN "p2d@l "pUtIN "p2tIN]
Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting. ["jes @t "g6lf/"gO:lf It "raImz wID "S2tIN]
Respite, spite, consent, resent. ["respIt/"respaIt "spaIt k@n"sent rI"zent]
Liable, but Parliament. ["laI@b@l b2t "pA:l@m@nt]
Seven is right, but so is even, ["sev@n Iz "raIt b2t "s@U Iz "i:v@n]
Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen, ["haIf@n "r2f@n "nevju:/"nefju: "sti:v@n]
Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk, ["m2NkI "d6NkI/"dO:NkI "klA:k/"kl3:k @nd "dZ3:k]
Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work. ["æsp "græsp "w6sp/"wO:sp dI"meIn/dI"mi:n kO:k
w3:k]

A of valour, vapid vapour, ["eI @v "væl@ "væpId/"veIpId "veIp@]

S of news (compare newspaper), ["es @v "nju:z k@m"pE@ "nju:speIp@/"nju:zpeIp@]
G of gibbet, gibbon, gist, ["dZi: @v "dZIbIt "gIb@n "dZIst]
I of antichrist and grist, ["aI @v "ænti:kraIst/"æntaIkraIst @nd "grIst]
Differ like diverse and divers, ["dIf@ "laIk daI"v3:s @nd "daIv@z]
Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers. ["rIv@z "straIv@z "SIv@z "faIv@z]
Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll, ["w2ns b2t "n6ns "t@Ul "d6l/"dO:l b2t "r@Ul]
Polish, Polish, poll and poll. ["p6lIS "p@UlIS "p@Ul @nd "p@ul] (!!!)
Pronunciation—think of Psyche!— [pr@n2nsI"eIS@n "TINk @v "saIkI]
Is a paling, stout and spiky. ["Iz @ "peIlIN "staUt @nd "spaIkI]
 Won’t it make you lose your wits ["w@Unt It "meIk jU "lu:z j@ "wIts]
Writing groats and saying “grits”? ["raItIN "gr@Uts/"grits @nd "seI.IN "grIts]
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel ["Its @ "dA:k @"bIs O: "t2n@l]
Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale, ["stru:n wID "st@Unz laIk "r6l@k/"rO:l@k "g2n@l]
Islington, and Isle of Wight, ["IzlINt@n @nd "aIl @v "waIt]
Housewife, verdict and indict. ["haUswaIf/"h2z@f "v3:dIkt @nd In"daIt]
Don’t you think so, reader, rather, ["d6nt jU "TINk s@U "ri:d@ "rA:D@]
Saying lather, bather, father? ["seI.IN "læD@ "beID@ "fA:D@]
Finally, which rhymes with enough, ["faIn@lI "wItS "raImz wID I"n2f]
Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough?? ["D@U "Tru: "baU "k6f "h6k
"saU/"s2f "t2f]

Hiccough has the sound of sup... ["hIk2p "hæz D@ "saUnd @v "s2p]

* No, you're wrong. This is the plural of doe.

The author of The Chaos was a Dutchman, the writer and traveller Dr Gerard Nolst
Trenité. Born in 1870, he studied classics, then law, then political science at the
University of Utrecht, but without graduating (his Doctorate came later, in 1901). From
1894 he was for a while a private teacher in California, where he taught the sons of the
Netherlands Consul-General. From 1901 to 1918 he worked as a schoolteacher in
Haarlem, and published several schoolbooks in English and French, as well as a study
of the Dutch constitution. From 1909 until his death in 1946 he wrote frequently for an
Amsterdam weekly paper, with a linguistic column under the pseudonym Charivarius.

The Chaos represents a virtuoso feat of composition, a mammoth catalogue of about

800 of the most notorious irregularities of traditional English orthography, skilfully
versified (if with a few awkward lines) into couplets with alternating feminine and
masculine rhymes. The selection of examples now appears somewhat dated, as do a
few of their pronunciations, indeed a few words may even be unknown to today's
readers (how many will know what a 'studding-sail' is, or that its nautical pronunciation
is 'stunsail'?), and not every rhyme will immediately 'click' ('grits' for
'groats'?); but the overwhelming bulk of the poem represents as valid an indictment of
the chaos of English spelling as it ever did. Who the 'dearest creature in creation'
addressed in the first line, also addressed as 'Susy' in line 5, might have been is
unknown, though a mimeographed version of the poem in Harry Cohen's possession is
dedicated to 'Miss Susanne Delacruix, Paris'. Presumably she was one of Nolst
Trenité's students.

Readers will notice that The Chaos is written from the viewpoint of the foreign learner of
English: it is not so much the spelling as such that is lamented, as the fact that the poor
learner can never tell how to pronounce words encountered in writing (the poem was,
after all, appended to a book of pronunciation exercises). With English today the prime
language of international communication, this unpredictability of symbol-sound
correspondence constitutes no less of a problem than the unpredictability of sound-
symbol correspondence which is so bewailed by native speakers of English.